Original subtitles

* Good Times *

* Anytime you meet a payment *

* Good Times *

* Anytime you need a friend *

* Good Times *

* Anytime you're Out from under *

* Not getting hassled Not getting hustled *

* Keeping your head Above water *

* Making a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

* Easy credit rip-offs *

* Good Times *

* Scratching and surviving *

* Good Times *

* Hanging in a chow line *

* Good Times *

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em *

* Good Times *

Congratulations, Thelma.

So far you've made burnt oatmeal, loose oatmeal,

but this is the first oatmeal I've ever seen

that you can plaster the ceiling with.

Ma made it.

Oh, as I was saying, looks good enough to eat.

Hey, Michael,

you try some of that oatmeal,

and if you make it through the bowl,

then I'll try some.

Okay, I'll make you some fresh oatmeal,

all right?

Forget it.

I'll settle for this.

I think I'll have breakfast

down at the club.

What club?

Any club where Thelma don't do the cooking.

Anyway, being a future millionaire,

I might as well join a club or two anyway.

How you plan to become a millionaire?

By selling your body

to Believe it or Not?

Simple, waffle-face.

By winning the lottery.

Oh, now, that's a nice original way to get rich.

Wonder why nobody else ever thought of that before?

No, Ma, we could win the lottery.

No kidding.

Oh, J.J.

You know how I feel about gambling.

It's illegal.

Mama, that's not illegal.

The lottery is run by the state of Illinois.

MICHAEL: That's right, Ma,

and the money is used for important things,

like health, education--

And politicians' girlfriends.

J.J., you buy a ticket every month,

and you haven't won yet.

Well, it's time for my luck to change.

You know,

I got one of these in every color of the rainbow.

One of these babies gots to come through.

Or one of these babies.

Yeah, or one of these babies.

Ah, what a big waste of good money.

Do any of you really think you got a chance?

You all got your hopes way up, and for what?

There's one in a million that you're gonna win.

Now, you think there's a fortune around every corner

and a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow,

but there is no way in the world you're gonna win.

Not as long as I got these.

We gonna be as rich as the Rockefellers, huh?

We gonna be richer than the Rockefellers.

How you figure that?

Make a couple extra dollars

by delivering ribs.

Ooh, and I'll quit my job at the store,

and Thelma can give remedial reading lessons.

Oh, that reminds me,

Edna's due here in a half an hour

for a lesson.

Yeah, Thelma, how she doing?

Oh, she's doing great.

I only gave her one lesson, so she still can't read,

but she's beginning to know that alphabet.

Hey, yeah.

That's very important.

You must know your A-B-Cs

if you want to make some M-O-N-Y.

J.J., maybe you should take a class too.

Hey, Michael, I was just jiving.

You know, I can spell "money" in 10 different languages,

you know?

Dinero, peso,

"ruble," like in "Ruby Begonia," you know what I mean?

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

Oh, hi, Edna, come in.

Hi, Thelma.

You're a little early.

Oh, am I? I ain't got not watch.

Oh, "ain't got no" is a double negative.

It really means you do have a watch.

Honest, Thelma, I ain't got no watch.

I know, Edna.

When you use two negatives

in one sentence,

they cancel each other out.

Now, remember that, okay?

In that case,

I ain't got no million dollars,

which means

I really do have a million dollars,

but every time I reach into my pocket,

I come out with lint.

So that means

that somebody's ripped me off.

Come on, let's try to ignore tall and dark.

Uh, you forgot handsome.

Well, in your case, I wasn't the first.

Oh, hi, Mike. Hi, Mrs. Evans.

Hello, Edna. Hi, Edna.

Have you had breakfast yet?

Yeah.

Well, not really. I had a cup of coffee.

Oh, that's no breakfast.

Sit down, I'll fix you some oatmeal.

Um, hold on, Ma.

Edna, a great personal sacrifice.

Have mine.

Hey, Flo.

Honey, put on the television, pronto.

Take it easy, Willona.

Captain Kangaroo ain't on yet.

Negro, please.

Willona, I ain't got no time to watch television.

Today's laundry day.

Oh, well, if you gonna do laundry,

you gotta go downtown and do it.

All our machines was ripped off yesterday.

How long does this thing take to warm up?

Let me put it to you this way, Willona.

If you wanna watch the Saturday night movie,

you gotta turn it on Thursday night.

Oh.

MICHAEL: Willona, don't worry, I'll fix it.

I got the magic touch.

Then touch it.

Willona, what is so important on TV?

They're giving out

the winning lottery numbers, honey.

[HOLLERING]

Honey, and my set quit

soon as they started rolling.

FLORIDA: No kidding.

Willona, are all those tickets yours?

They sure are, and if I don't win something,

I'm gonna have to wallpaper the bedroom with them.

Hey, it's coming on.

Oh, Willona, you remember Edna.

Oh, hi, Edna.

How's your reading coming, honey?

Okay. WILLONA: Good.

ANNOUNCER [OVER TV]: Seven, eight, nine,

one, two, three.

That's red seven, eight, nine, one, two, three.

Look at this, Willona. I had the seven.

Eight, seven, five, nine, eight, zero.

Six, one, zero, zero, six, one.

Eight, seven, six, six, seven, five.

Hey, man, slow down.

Two, nine, eight, five, zero, nine.

Oh, wait a minute, what was that?

I'll repeat that number.

Two, nine, eight, five, zero, nine.

Oh, thank you.

And now, the big bonanza for $2500.

The big bonanza!

Come on, daddy needs a new pair of shoes.

Hey, hey, sweet daddy,

Willona needs a condominium.

Come on, come on, Mama needs

a little bit of everything!

Hey, Michael, what you got there?

Nothing except my rabbit's foot,

my four-leaf clover, and my lucky key chain.

Uh-huh, it's a good thing

you're not superstitious.

And the winners are blue, four, nine, two,

eight--

[TELEVISION GOES OFF]

ALL: Hey, come on!

Hey, Michael, you keep kicking that set like that,

Walter Cronkite won't be able to sit down for a month.

Those were the winning numbers.

Oh, we done miss it.

Here are those lucky numbers again.

Whoa!

Two, four, nine, two,

eight, seven, eight,

Eight, seven, eight, seven, six,

six, zero, one, zero, zero, eight,

eight, seven, five, eight, zero, one,

four, nine, two, eight, one, three.

Four, nine, two, eight, one, three?

That's me!

I won, I won!

[HOLLERING]

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS]

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

A handshake will do fine, thank you.

$2500!

$2500!

$2500!

$2500?

That's almost as much as I tip my maid.

Hey, Edna, isn't this great?

Yeah, man.

Do you realize how much money?

Look out, world, I'm outta sight.

Think of the new and rich

Kid Dy-no-mite!

Well, cow,

look like I'm gonna be sending you out to pasture.

Well, family, we're rich.

Anything you all want is yours.

All right.

Well, J.J., I'm gonna start the ball rolling

by getting me a new pair

of professional basketball sneakers.

I'll be playing pro ball in no time.

Hey, yeah.

And I'll get me some new paints and brushes

and get rid of this tired old canvas in here.

Well, Ma, the world's your oyster.

Pick a pearl.

ALL: All right!

THELMA: Oh, there's this coat.

A big fur coat. I just gotta get it.

FLORIDA: Yeah, baby!

WILLONA: Yeah, sure.

They got these bad dresses

just came in the boutique just the other day.

They're so outta sight,

they make Whistler's grandmother

jump up and do the hustle.

Chantilly lace from here to there.

And now that we can afford it, I'll get--

What am I talking about?

I'm not a member of the family.

Oh, yes, you are, Willona.

We're rich. We'll lend you the money.

FLORIDA: Oh, that's right.

How can I pay you back?

Don't worry about that, Willona.

We'll lend you that too.

Hey, you know, you boys could use a new sofa bed.

I saw a great one in the window at Marshall Fields.

Buy it, Ma. Buy it.

We are rich.

All right.

And Thelma, you've been studying Spanish

out of those tacky old Spanish books.

From now on, you gonna get the real thing.

You going to Spain. Olé!

[ALL CHEERING]

And, Ma,

you need a new winter coat.

What do you like?

Ermine, mink, or sable?

What about all three?

I can wear the mink for the laundry,

the ermine for the bus,

and the sable for putting out the garbage.

[CHATTERING]

Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Listen to us.

We sound like a bunch of pigs at a trough.

All this buying and spending.

Kids, your daddy and I had big dreams for you.

Thelma and Michael were going through college,

and J.J. was gonna have an art career.

Now, I'm not about to give up on those dreams.

That's what that money is for.

We'll just have to make do like we always did,

'cause that money belongs in the bank.

Well, J.J.? It's your money.

Well, err, uh...

Well?

Well...

Well, cow.

Look like we're riding the range again.

That's my boy.

Oh, J.J., put that thing down

and stop acting silly.

Way you carrying on,

anybody would think we were millionaires.

But what can I say, Ma?

When you got it, you show it.

Well, J.J., we ain't got it,

so stow it.

Mrs. Evans,

here is your bank book.

Oh, good.

Just sign here, please,

so that we may have

a copy of your signature.

All right.

Wait a minute, Ma.

Don't sign nothing.

Look here, man.

You ain't shown us no whistling tea kettle,

no combination hot-comb dryer,

no pop-up toaster,

you call yourself a bank?

We don't give premiums,

but we do pride ourselves

on our fiduciary responsibility.

Oh yeah?

Well, if we can't get one of them pop-up toasters,

lay one of them fiduciaries on us.

J.J., what Mr. Woodruff means

is that this is

a very safe, conservative bank.

Yes, each account is insured by the United States government.

Well, these days, who's insuring them?

J.J., I've had just about enough of you.

You've had enough of him?

I'm way beyond that.

Mrs. Evans, I want to thank you

for doing business with a neighborhood bank.

I hope that this is going to be

the beginning of a long and lasting relationship.

Well, it sure is a beginning,

'cause we never had a savings account before.

Well, bra, thanks a lot.

Oh, by the way, do you validate parking?

J.J., we don't have a car.

In that case,

you mind stamping our bus transfer?

Oh, come on.

Thelma, how come I always gotta

dry the dishes?

Because we're sharing the work.

I wash, you dry.

Well, I think there should be

a new system around here.

Like maybe one day you wash and dry the dishes,

the next day, Mama washes and dries the dishes,

and the third day, J.J. washes and dries the dishes.

And what about you, mister?

I can't do menial work like that.

I'm too busy making out the schedule.

Oh.

Oh, boy.

Oh, Ma, did you make the deposit?

It is safe and sound.

All right. [KNOCK ON DOOR]

Yeah, Michael, I almost got us a fiduciary

while we were down there. What's that?

Oh, hello, Edna.

I didn't know you were coming over today.

Edna, we don't have a lesson today.

Oh, I know.

Me and my kid sister, Rozzie,

just thought we'd come by.

Aw, that's nice.

Come on in, kids.

Come on, Thelma, I'd better put that away.

EDNA: All right.

You made your deposit.

Now we're here for the withdrawal.

Edna, what in the world

do you children think you're doing?

Well, we ain't delivering Girl Scout cookies.

Look here, Mama, you just do an up and down.

Shut up and sit down.

Now, just hold on there.

You can't talk to my mother like--

There ain't much of you to put a hole in,

but I can do it.

Lock that door, stupid.

All right.

Not you, stupid.

You, stupid.

Oh.

Edna...

do you always have to call me "stupid"?

Sorry, dummy.

Don't call me "dummy," either.

Just 'cause I never went to school

don't mean I'm dumb.

Edna, I can't believe you're really doing this.

But you're just kids.

Well, we grow up fast around here, Mama.

Yeah, everything I know I learned from Edna.

Didn't I?

Listen, let's stop the yakking.

We're here after the money.

We don't have the money. It's in the bank.

We know that.

That's why you and Rozzie

are gonna go down to that bank,

and you are gonna bring the money here,

and just to make sure you do,

me and...

my friend,

we gonna be keeping an eye on

Black Pride,

Black Beauty,

and the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

There's no way in the world

I'm gonna leave you here with my children.

[GUNSHOT]

Ma! Go to the bank, Fast!

All right, all right.

But God help you

if you hurt one of my children.

EDNA: Roz--

I know: "Close the door, stupid."

EDNA: Now, everybody be cool,

and nobody gets hurt.

I don't want no tricks.

THELMA: J.J., this is like a nightmare.

I can't believe this.

Yeah, man, what we gonna do?

Don't worry.

I've been watching this chick eyeballing me

every time she come over here.

All I gotta do is make a couple of moves, and...

voilà.

She's in my arms.

J.J., be careful.

Yeah, man, be careful.

Don't worry. You're talking to

the black Casanova of the projects.

Hey there, sweet mama.

Anybody ever tell you you're beautiful?

Well, no.

Hey, did anybody ever tell you you were handsome?

Well, you know. What can I say?

Just say they lied.

Playing hard to get, huh, mama?

Look here, why don't you just relax

and let amourtake over your toujours.

Listen.

You keep running that line of jive on me,

and you gonna be

one turkey served up before Thanksgiving.

What's taking you so long?

Why can't you just get the money?

I've got to fill out this withdrawal slip first.

Oh yeah.

Well, you better make it out

for the whole 2-5-0-0,

'cause I'm not as stupid as Edna makes out.

I canread numbers.

Uh-huh. See, see, this is 7-5.

See? This is Mean Joe Green's number,

and my dress size.

That's what Edna say.

If you're smart enough to read numbers,

why didn't you learn reading like Edna did?

She only did it

'cause her probation officer made her.

Edna was smart to play along.

I don't think either one of you

is so smart.

In fact, what you're doing is downright dumb.

You think we're dumb?

You're the ones giving up the $2500.

I'd give up 25 million

where my children are concerned,

and if you didn't have that gun

I'd give you 25 million licks upside your head.

Hold it.

You're writing too much.

Those are letters.

Now, you make out a new one, go ahead,

and I don't want to see nothing but numbers.

Go ahead. Right there.

Thelma, I'm scared on what could happen to Ma.

Don't worry, Ma will be all right.

That girl wouldn't dare try anything with her.

Hey, shut up, y'all.

WILLONA: Hey, what--

what's going on?

Anybody in there?

ALL: No!

WILLONA: Well, nobody, what's going on?

ALL: Nothing, Willona!

WILLONA: Open the door.

Uh, there's no one here, Willona.

WILLONA: J.J., open this door.

[BANG ON DOOR]

Hey, listen, you'd better open the door

before she gets jumpy,

but you all better act like nothing's wrong,

because I'm gonna have this covering you all the time,

and if you think of doing anything slick,

you think of your life.

I can't help but think of my life.

It's flashing right in front of me.

Well, well, well. How's everybody doing?

You know, I've seen a warmer greeting

given to John Wayne by the Indians.

What's going on in here?

The door's all bolted

and you all sitting around like you in a cemetery.

[GULPS]

All right, now, where's your mama?

Uh, Ma?

Uh, uh...

Ma, er, uh, uh--

Thelma?

Uh, well, she, um--

Michael?

Um, well, um,

Mom...

She's downstairs doing the laundry.

Laundry? I already told her the machines--

Oh, today is laundry day, ain't it?

Well, I'm gonna go on home and change my shoes.

I'll be right back.

You ain't going no place, fancy pants.

Don't wave that old toy in my face, girl.

Willona, it's not a toy.

It's a Saturday night special.

But I don't mind using it on Wednesdays.

Wednesday. I'm glad you reminded me.

I got to go get my license changed.

Sit down. I'm counting to three.

Willona, she means it.

Uh, well, in that case,

I'll make it in one.

What's, uh, happening?

Willona, she's holding us here hostage

while her sister's down at the bank

making Ma take all the money out.

WILLONA: Lord, have mercy.

Where do you get off robbing poor people?

Where do you get off robbing anybody?

Oh, poor people?

Hey, with this great crib?

Listen, you got everything.

And you with your fine threads.

Humph.

Ooh-la-la, mama, lookee here.

Hmm, expensive perfume, huh?

I ain't never had nothing like this.

You talk to me about poor people?

I'mpoor people.

Hmm.

Well, little girl, I got news for you.

We're all poor people,

but maybe the difference is

we all don't pick up a gun and rip off our friends.

Your mother must be real proud of you, Edna.

Well, when she sobers up, I'll ask her.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Edna, it's me, Roz.

Are you kids all right?

They're okay.

They're okay, Flo.

They're okay.

If they hurt one hair on--

WILLONA: Flo, they all right, honey.

Oh, nobody touched nobody!

Hey, where's the money?

She tried to cheat me, but I stopped her.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Hey, uh, Rozzie.

How do you know Edna won't cheat you too?

What do you mean?

Well, when she was here,

she said she was gonna wind up

with all the money. Sure did.

That's not so.

Hey, they're lying.

No, we're not lying.

That's right.

Look, you wouldn't believe

these jive turkeys, would you?

My kids don't lie.

I don't know, Edna.

You're all the time calling me "dummy."

And "stupid."

But I wouldn't cheat you.

Come on!

Edna, you won't take my share, will you?

She said she would.

Shut up, you.

Rozzie, don't be a dummy.

Rozzie, see that?

she called you a "dummy" again.

Rozzie...

That's two "dummies" and one "stupid."

Edna, you've always cheated me,

even when we were kids.

I want my share. Now!

Okay, dummy.

And don't call me "dummy"!

That's right.

Get the gun! Get the gun!

Hold it!

Freeze, freeze!

Freeze.

All right,

get over here on the couch.

Both of you.

Get on.

Get on.

Get on over here and sit down.

Thelma, you call the police,

and tell them to hurry.

Ma, we won't get no police

in this neighborhood.

Oh, yes, we will.

You tell them we white.

Yeah, hello, police? This is an emergency--

They put me on hold!

Oh, Willona,

I'm so glad you were here.

And thank God

none of you kids were hurt.

Oh, I'm a lucky woman.

Well, Rozzie,

you really loused this one up.

I'm sorry.

Edna, for some fast money,

you know you gonna wind up in jail again?

Well...

At least I'll smell rich.

* Mmm *

* Just looking Out of the window *

* Watching the asphalt grow *

* Thinking how It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good Times Yeah, yeah *

* Good Times *

* Keeping your head Above water *

* Making a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

* Easy credit rip-offs *

* Good Times *

ANNOUNCER: Good Times is videotaped in front of a studio audience.

* Good Times *