Original subtitles

* Good Times*

* Anytime You meet a payment*

* Good Times*

* Anytime You feel free*

* Good Times*

* Anytime you're Out from under*

* Not getting hassled Not getting hustled*

* Keeping your head Above water*

* Making a wave when you can*

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times*

* Easy credit Rip-offs*

* Good Times*

* Scratching And surviving*

* Good Times*

* Hanging in A chow line*

* Good Times*

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em*

* Good Times*

[INDISTINCT ARGUING]

I'm not lending you nothing again. That's it.

I mean it. Why not?

Why not? Because when I lent you this radio,

it had brand new batteries in it, that's why,

and they're run down now, that's why.

Hey, don't blame me.

Blame my new girlfriend, Lulu the Zulu.

She loves to dance.

[CACKLES]

You mean you going out

with big, old, fat Lulu Gordon?

Hey, hey.

Thelma, she ain't fat.

She's just a whole lot of woman.

Yeah, about three of them.

Hey, Thelma,

you got some nerve talking about looks.

I saw that dude who you was out with last night

with the brown paper bag over his head.

Where'd you find him at,

the Ugly Hearts Club of America?

Yeah, well, you just can't talk, buddy.

You know, if you lined up all the dates you had

this year, you know what you got?

An ad for Wild Kingdom, that's what.

All right, all right, you two.

That's enough of that.

Now, I happened to see both of your dates,

and I'm glad you went out with them.

After all, somebody had to.

Mom.

I'm only kidding.

But listen,

if you all want to eat tomorrow,

you'd better help me tonight.

Now, J.J., you get out the platters,

and, Thelma, check on the pies.

Okay, Ma. And children,

I don't want any more hassling.

Let's make this the nicest Thanksgiving

your grandfather ever had.

Hey, Ma, you know, it's getting kind of late.

Shouldn't Grandpa be here by now?

Well, now, you know that

it's a pretty long bus ride from New Orleans,

and those buses are never on time.

Hey, J.J.

Hey, Ma, call a doctor.

Michael's got rabies.

Hey, J.J., where's your razor?

Michael, what are you doing

with all that stuff on your face?

I'm shaving. I want to look good for when Grandpa comes.

Michael, you don't have a beard.

Hey, that's not what Eleanor Wilson said.

She said I gave her cheek burn.

And just how did you give her cheek burn?

Now, that's a secret between me and Joe Namath.

Get out of here.

Ma, he's growing up.

I just hope Eleanor Wilson isn't.

Hey, Michael, my razor's in the medicine cabinet,

behind my Hi Karate and my Clearasil.

Hey, Ma, have you figured out

a place where Grandpa's going to sleep?

I mean, we don't have-- Have no fear,

Mother, dear.

I got it all worked out.

Grandpa and Michael

will sleep out here on the sofa bed,

you and Thelma will sleep in Thelma's room,

and I will sleep in your room.

That's the one and only possible solution.

Nope.

Plan B.

Grandpa and Michael will sleep in Thelma's room.

You and Thelma will lounge out here

in the luxurial splendor of the sofa bed,

and I will suffer in abjectivity in your room.

No way.

How about we all check into a motel?

How about Thelma and I will share my room,

Grandpa will have Thelma's room,

and you and Michael

can lounge in the splendor

of the abjectivity of the sofa bed.

All right.

Hey, Ma, just once I'd like to sleep in a place

where I don't have to look at the refrigerator.

Well, that's easy.

Sleep in the bathroom.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

Oh, that must be Granddad. Oh, that's Grandpa!

Come on, this is it.

Finally.

Hi.

Ah, it's only Willona.

And to think, I changed that Negro's first diaper.

J.J., aren't you going to help her?

Ah, all right, Ma.

Here.

J.J...

Okay.

Sorry, Willona.

All right. Go on.

Hey, is that Grandpa?

WILLONA: Hi.

Oh, it's just you, Willona.

You know, I wish you kids wouldn't make such a big fuss

every time I come in.

I want everything to be

just nice for James' father.

Thanks for bringing all these things over.

Oh, think nothing of it. You know,

most of my neighbors borrow a cup of coffee.

You borrow half the house.

I'll get all these things back to you

as soon as I can.

Oh, no hurry, honey.

Cooking utensils get about

as much use in my apartment as a wife

at a Shriners convention. Ooh.

You don't see anything different?

No. Why?

I just finished shaving.

Oh, smooth, baby.

Smooth.

Hey, everybody, the pies are done.

Oh, Thelma, they look delicious.

Oh, fantastic.

Hey, I got to split.

Oh, what time is dinner tomorrow?

Well, now, wait a minute. The kids have to go

to a high school football game at noon.

Let me see. I'd say around about 4:00.

Good. And don't forget, I am making the mincemeat pie.

Ooh, I thought you didn't cook.

Only one thing. My specialty, apple pie.

Apple? You said mincemeat.

It starts off apple, ends up mincemeat.

I think it's time we checked on

the contenders for tomorrow's main event.

In this corner, weighing 18 pounds, four ounces,

the champion, from a barnyard in Illinois,

let's present Kid Gobbler.

[CHEERS]

Hey, and in this corner,

weighing three pounds less than a turkey,

and with half as much sense,

the challenger, Muhammad Evans.

Boo!

[IMITATES MUHAMMAD ALI] Well, you all

better listen to Muhammad, because this ain't no jive.

If that dinner starts at 4:00, that turkey be finished by 5:00.

J.J., will you stop this nonsense

and leave my turkey alone.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

ALL: Grandpa!

Look out! What we've been waiting for.

Look out!

Thelma.

Grandpa.

Hey, how you doing, Grandpa? Michael.

A-ha, ha!

J.J.

There's nothing like

the greeting you get from your family--

Florida!

Oh, Henry,

it's so nice to have you here.

Oh, it's been too long, Florida.

How have you been?

Oh, we're all been fine, Henry, just fine.

I can see that.

Oh, Henry.

I miss him so much.

Yes, I know.

Oh, hey, kids,

come here and let me look at you.

My grandchildren.

I don't know which one of you are the better looking.

I do.

Hey, Grandpa, are you still working

on that same ship as a cook?

Oh, no, no. Not anymore, Michael.

The day I turned 65, they made me retire.

Oh, well, that's great, Henry.

Hard as you've worked, you deserve the rest.

Look, I don't need no rest.

I'm just 65.

I ain't cooked my best omelet yet.

Oh, now, come on, Grandpa,

you got to admit, you're no spring chicken.

Yeah, and I ain't no dead rooster either.

Well, look, Henry, if you just want to work,

I'm sure there are lots of jobs for a good cook.

Oh, I got a job slinging hash a couple days in New Orleans,

but it ain't like cooking on a ship.

It's better. At least this way, if you don't cook a good meal,

they won't make you walk the plank.

Well, now, I didn't think of that, J.J.

Did I tell you kids about the time

that my ship was cut adrift,

and for 10 days, all I had left in the galley

was two loaves of bread and a can of sardines?

No, Grandpa. What happened? You're looking

at the only man alive that catered a mutiny.

Now, that's a tall tale if I ever heard one.

Next you'll tell us you were marooned.

Yeah, yeah.

Three months on a desert island.

Henry... With a big TV. star.

Henry! Flipper. Got you.

Michael, why don't you help Grandpa

get settled into his room?

Sure, Ma.

And Henry,

don't be filling Michael's head

with any more of that nonsense.

Oh, no. I won't, Florida.

Hey, Michael... Yeah?

Did I tell you about the time I had the date with a mermaid?

A mermaid. That man will never change.

I sure hope not.

Wow, a date with a mermaid.

Some guys have all the luck.

Oh, J.J.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

I'll get it, Ma.

Hi.

Oh, I'm sorry I'm late,

but I just had to stop off to see my sister.

Do we know you?

I'm Lena.

Lena.

I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't--

Well, ain't Tiger Evans staying here?

Tiger Evans?

LENA: Yes.

[LAUGHS]

Tiger Evans.

That must be me.

Well, now, I got nothing against younger men,

but let's be reasonable.

Is Henry Evans here?

Oh, you mean Grandpa.

Lena!

Oh, Tiger!

Thelma, you're looking at the only tiger on Medicare.

Florida.

Lena, I want you to meet my family.

That's Florida. Hello.

That's Thelma, that's J.J.,

and that is Michael.

Ooh, Henry's told me so much about you.

I feel like I'm part of the family already.

Oh, that's nice.

Lena came up with me from New Orleans.

She has relatives here.

Yeah, did you have a nice visit

with your sister?

Oh, yes, and she sent her best to you.

Henry, dear, I'd like to unpack.

Where is our room?

HENRY: Oh, right in there.

Oh, if you'll excuse me.

FLORIDA: Oh, sure. Sure.

Henry, you old rascal.

Why didn't you tell us about Lena?

I wanted to surprise you.

Well, it was the most wonderful surprise I ever had.

When did you all get married?

Oh, we ain't married.

Ma, if you're not more careful,

you're going to wake up Grandpa.

Good. [RATTLES DISHES]

Oh, my word.

What happened, Ma?

Oh, this stuffing recipe calls for an egg yolk,

and I just put the whole egg in.

Hey, what's the big deal?

Who's going to know?

I ain't going to tell,

you ain't going to tell,

and the turkey definitely ain't going to tell.

I thought I told you to set the table.

But I already did, Ma.

Yeah, Ma, we set an extra place

for Grandpa's girlfriend.

[SIGHS]

We're never going to eat tonight

if you all don't get out of my kitchen.

Now, stop bothering me.

But, Ma, all she said was, "Grandpa's girlfriend."

Oh, doggone it.

What's the matter, Ma? You just put another egg in there.

I know what I did. Now, leave me alone.

Ma, I mean, you're really upset.

Maybe we should sit down and talk about it.

Talk about what?

Open that oven door.

About Grandpa's--

Don't say that!

Not while she's got the turkey in her hand.

Ma, Lena and Grandpa staying together

has really gotten to you, huh?

You're darn right it has.

They are not married.

But, Ma, they're old.

Maybe they got married and they forgot.

J.J.

Happy Thanksgiving, you all.

FLORIDA: Hi, Willona.

Uh, Flo, about that mincemeat pie

I promised you. It ain't here.

Where is it?

All over my oven.

Oh, Willona.

Well, I made a Jell-O mold.

I'll put it over there on the counter.

Maybe I should just throw it away

before the kids eat it, huh?

I missed Henry last night. How's he doing?

A whole lot better than I'm doing.

What's going on here?

Hey, is something wrong with Henry?

Nothing that a cold shower couldn't cure.

Let's just say that Henry didn't arrive unescorted.

Ooh, Lord have mercy.

Flo! Flo, you mean to tell me

Henry's staying there with a woman?

Mm-hmm.

Lord, let's hear it for modern medicine.

Hi, everybody. WILLONA: Hi.

Now, this not a topic

to be discussed in front of Michael.

Hey, is Grandpa up yet?

Not yet, Michael.

Let the man sleep, honey.

Willona...

This is nothing to joke about.

Oh, Ma, come on, now.

They're just traveling companions, that's all.

Now, what else could they be at that age?

Good morning, everybody.

Willona.

Henry, honey, how you doing?

How you doing? How you been?

I'm fine. You?

Oh, I'm just fine, just fine.

I slept like a log.

Only, I'm starving.

I could eat four eggs.

Hey, Ma,

that's what Daddy used to say in the morning.

Michael.

LENA: Morning, y'all.

Ooh, Thelma, that bed of yours

sleeps like a cloud,

and I'm so hungry, I could eat four eggs.

Hmm.

First he wants four eggs, now she wants four eggs.

What we got going here, Chicken Delight?

Henry, I let you out of my sight

for one minute,

and there you are hugging a pretty woman.

Well, that's better than hugging an ugly one.

Willona Woods, Lena Anderson.

Hi, Lena. We were just saying hello.

Well, you watch out for him, Willona,

because that's one old dog

don't need to learn no new tricks.

Not as long as I can remember the old ones,

if you know what I mean.

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES MOCKINGLY]

I know what you mean,

and I think you got a lot of nerve

staying here when you...

When she's...

Well, when both of you are-- Shacking up.

Florida, we didn't know you were gonna take it like this.

Hey, obviously, you don't know Ma.

She wouldn't let us read Snow White,

because the chick was living with seven dudes.

J.J.

Now, that's not true.

Florida...

Please understand.

Why, Henry and I love each other very much.

Then why don't you get married?

Because we can't afford to.

She's right, Florida.

If we got married, we wouldn't have

our combined social security check to live on.

I'd lose part of mine, and she'd lose even

a bigger part of hers.

You mean the government penalizes senior citizens

for getting married?

Yeah, but we get around it.

By living together.

Well, different strokes for older folks.

Well, I'm sorry, Henry, but it's still wrong in my book.

Flo, I don't know what you're so mad about.

What could two 60-year-olds do in a room together?

Well, the same as two 30-year-olds.

A lot of people think that sex ends

just because a person is old.

You know, wine ain't the only thing

that gets better with age.

Have mercy!

Henry and Lena, I have children in this house.

What kind of impression

do you think you're making on them?

Personally, I'm impressed.

Come on, Ma. Now, it's nothing we haven't heard before.

Yeah, and plus the government is making them do it.

They just got to do something

about them social security laws.

Believe me, Henry,

I understand what you're saying,

but right is right, and wrong is wrong.

At least that's the way we were all brought up.

Look, Florida,

it can get mighty lonesome when you are old.

Now, I found somebody I could talk to,

somebody that I could walk in the park with,

somebody who cares

and will share the days of the week with me.

I love this lady, and that can't be wrong.

Doesn't anybody see what I mean?

ALL: No.

Willona?

Who, me?

Oh, well, um,

that is a very difficult question, Flo. Come here.

Now, look, I know you.

Right.

I know got you a point. Right.

But I also know Henry, and he got a point too.

Now, you know I'm not the kind of person

to just run out on an important issue like this.

That's right. So I'm going to say later.

Willona.

You kids are going to be late for your football game.

Oh, yeah, Ma's right. Yeah, right.

Let's go, Michael. Come on, let's go now.

Hey, Ma, what about the-- Michael, just run along.

We can take care of this by ourselves.

Right, right, right. And listen, don't be late for dinner.

ALL: Okay, Ma. FLORIDA: Okay.

Florida, I didn't want to say this

in front of the kids, but I think we'd better leave.

Henry's right. We've got plenty of time

to catch that evening bus to New Orleans.

But, Henry... It's the only way, Florida.

Come on, dear, let's pack.

You will stay for dinner? Oh, Florida,

it will just make everybody uncomfortable.

Now, you will speak to the kids, Florida?

Oh, please, please.

I didn't mean to ruin Thanksgiving for anybody.

Well, nobody meant to.

Yep, here it comes.

Oh, girl, what a feast this is.

This is beautiful, girl. We won, we won!

Congratulations, congratulations.

That's nice. Well, sit down, everybody,

before the dinner gets cold.

Ma, you don't understand.

We haven't beaten Grant High in over 12 years.

Then how come you beat them now?

Because they rezoned the school district,

and now Grant High School is all white.

Oh, dirty pool. Dirty pool.

Hey, wait a minute.

Where's Grandpa and Lena at?

Yeah.

Uh...

They decided not to stay.

What?

THELMA: Why not?

Well, I couldn't talk them into it, honey,

but maybe it's better this way.

They were going to take the 5:30 bus back home.

But, Ma, they just got here.

Look at it this way, Michael.

It wasn't a short visit, it was a long rest stop.

I'm sorry, kids, but we just

didn't see things the same way.

Now, come on, everybody, sit down.

Let's enjoy the dinner. That's right, Flo.

I like white meat, dark meat, the back, and the breast.

Only two parts of this bird I will not eat.

What's that?

The beak and the butt.

Now, come on, kids, sit down.

Look, kids, this is Thanksgiving.

Now, hear this,

because I'm only going to say it once.

I want you all to sit down. Sit down now,

and let's have a nice warm family dinner.

J.J., say the blessing.

Thank you for the food we are about to receive,

and bless Lena and Grandpa,

even though they have an hour to go

before their bus leaves. Just the blessing.

And thank you for giving us

this beautiful table to sit around,

even though Lena and Grandpa

are down at the bus depot eating cold sandwiches.

Amen.

Come on, everybody. Dig in, dig in.

Pass those greens, honey. Don't forget to take some--

I ain't going to forget nothing. May I be excused?

You haven't eaten yet.

I ate too much at the game. I'll walk it off.

Wait a minute, Michael. That's all right.

I'll go with him. Thelma.

That's right, I don't want to help them lose anything.

Come on, y'all. Let's go. WILLONA: Hey...

Flo, you didn't tell those children

they had to eat my Jell-O, did you?

Tell me something, Willona,

about Lena and Henry.

Was I wrong or was I right?

It wasn't a matter of who's right or who's wrong.

It was the way you feel.

Well, that's just what I said.

How I feel. You're right.

I think I did the proper thing.

You're right.

And it wasn't worth it.

You're damn right.

Stay here. I'll be right back.

Keep the stuff warm.

I'll be back.

Well, this is just like every other Thursday night...

Me and a turkey.

MAN [OVER PA]: The bus for Kansas City

is now ready for departure.

This is the last call for Kansas City.

What you doing?

We're going to be on that bus for 23 hours,

so I got this.

Well, what is it?

Looks like a lifesaver.

It is. It is.

Hey, there they are.

THELMA: Grandpa. Lena.

Hey, what are you children doing here?

Hey, Grandpa. We couldn't go without saying goodbye first.

Oh, Michael. Hey, Grandpa,

I hope you're not mad at Ma.

No, we're not, J.J.

Well, you got to understand.

Ma can be a little stubborn sometimes.

And sometimes she can be a darn fool.

This is true, you know-- THELMA: Ma!

What are you all doing in this old bus station?

Ma, we had to see Grandpa before he left.

Well, you're going to see a lot of him,

because I've got a big Thanksgiving dinner

just waiting for us.

Now, Florida, we went through all this--

Henry, Lena, it's your life.

You live it, not me.

Now, your room is waiting,

and I hope you're both going to stay with us for a while.

Oh, thank you, Florida.

Don't thank me.

We're all family.

Well, family, let's get out of here and go eat.

Right. Come on.

Well, Thelma, get the bags.

J.J.

Hey, Ma, now that you relaxed the rules about the room,

you know, I got a couple of chicks that--

Sorry, J.J.

That rule is reserved

for people on social security.

I'm so glad you decided to stay.

MAN [OVER PA]: The bus for New Orleans is leaving in 10 minutes.

Bus to New Orleans...

* Mmm...*

* Just looking Out of the window*

* Watching the asphalt grow*

* Thinking how It all looks hand-me-down*

* Good Times * * Yeah, yeah *

* Good Times*

* Keeping your head Above water*

* Making a wave when you can*

* Temporary layoffs*

* Good Times*

* Easy credit rip-offs*

* Good Times*

ANNOUNCER: Good Times is videotaped in front of a studio audience.

* Good Times*