Original subtitles

* Good times Any time you meet a payment *

* Good times Any time you need a friend *

* Good times Any time you're out from under *

* Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs Good times *

* Easy credit rip-offs Good times *

* Scratchin' and survivin' Good times *

* Hangin' in a chow line Good times *

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em? *

* Good times **

Ooh.

Just set it down anywhere, Wanda...

and thanks for your help.

Florida, when you do laundry, you do laundry.

[LAUGHS]

Well, they're mostly James' clothes.

You know, in his kind of work,

he not only got ring around the collar.

He got ring around everything.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Yeah, and J.J.'s long johns ain't easy to do either.

Hey, you know...

they look more filled without him

than they do with him.

[FLORIDA LAUGHS]

Well...

if James gets this job as foreman,

I'm gonna do like the rich folks and send my laundry out.

Whoo!

If you do, send them out to me...

because I want to feel like the rich folks too.

Oh, any news about James' promotion?

No, but we're just keeping

our fingers crossed.

Well, don't worry about it.

I know it's gonna turn out all right.

I had a dream last night that James got the job,

and you all moved out to Lakeshore Drive.

Mm-hmm.

And you were driving down in this fancy car...

Mm-hmm.

And I was hitchhiking a ride,

and you just drove right on past me.

And you didn't even give me a lift.

Now, that's a fine way to treat a neighbor.

Was that car a Cadillac?

Yes.

Then that wasn't me.

In my dreams, I'm driving a Rolls Royce.

Well, good. Now we're friends again.

Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful

if James gets that promotion.

You know,

there's a three-bedroom apartment downstairs

that's vacant,

and we just might be able to afford it.

Oh, think of it, Wanda, two bathrooms!

Yeah, if you had a gas pump,

then you could open a service station.

Oh, it sure would be good

if Michael and J.J. could have

their own bedroom. Mm-hmm.

They been sleeping in the same bed

for 14 years.

Well, most kids have their cuddly Teddy bears

to sleep with,

but poor Michael,

all he's ever slept with is a shank bone.

Oh!

Hi, J.J.

Hi, tiger.

Hi, Wanda. Hi, Ma.

J.J., what's wrong?

Ma, today hasn't been a good day

in the chicken-delivering business.

Well, what happened? Somebody rip off the coleslaw?

No, worse than that. I lost my job.

You lost your job?

Oh, honey, what happened?

What, did they catch you finger licking again?

No. The boss said he had to cut down.

The chicken business is chickening out.

Tomorrow's my last day. I got to turn in my bird.

Oh, J.J., that's a shame.

Yeah, I don't know what I'm gonna do without her.

I mean, every time I said, "yes," she said yes.

Every time I said, "no," she said, "no."

Oh, Ma, I still don't know why they fired me.

I was their top delivery man.

Every time I brought an order,

I made sure I had the biscuits, the napkins,

the honey, the plastic forks,

and always had that little side of barbecue sauce.

Oh, boy, whenever I left, I always said,

"Bon appetit,and don't choke on the neck bone."

I care.

That's too bad, J.J.,

but you said business was slow.

Yeah, Ma, but I had seniority.

I mean, I was there almost four months.

I was the Dean of Legs.

Cheer up, J.J., you still have your art school at night.

You'll find another job.

Oh, no, Wanda, it ain't that easy.

I feel like the world has passed me by.

I feel as useless as a pet rock.

Hang in there, pet rock.

This is the year of the bicentennial,

and we're gonna celebrate

100 years of freedom.

A hundred years? I thought it was 200.

Oh, it's 200 for them.

A hundred for us.

Oh, Ma, I really feel down about this whole thing.

Say... do you think a homemade sweet potato pie

can lift your spirits?

Could be.

Well, it's in the ice box.

Hey, I may be unemployed, but my stomach's still working.

J.J., where did this come from?

Where did what come from?

This pamphlet:

"The Glorious Cuban Revolution."

Cuba?

Ain't that where they had the Bay of Pigs?

Oh, Ma, don't be bringing up pigs to me now.

I got enough trouble with chickens.

J.J., I'm not joking.

This is all about how wonderful

everything is in Cuba right now...

and how happy the Cuban people are,

and it's full of pictures of Castro

and stuff about his philosophy.

Does this belong to you?

Are you kidding, Ma?

The only pictures I know about

are the ones that fold out from a centerfold...

And I don't care about her philosophy at all.

If this doesn't belong to you,

how'd it get in your drawer?

Somebody hid it there.

Who, J.J.?

Maybe Ned the Wino!

Now, J.J., you know Ned the Wino does not come

into this house.

Yes, he did, Ma, at Halloween time,

trick or treating for Muscatel.

J.J., I told you, this is not funny.

Now this pamphlet didn't get in this house by itself,

and I want to know who is into all this Cuban stuff.

Hi.

There she is, Ma, Mrs. Nikita Kruschev.

What?

All right, gal.

Look at that, Ma.

Guilt written all over her face.

Ma, look at that! Ugly written all over his.

Ma, what is he talking about?

I found this pamphlet in the drawer--

Hold on, Ma.

Let's make this thing perfectly legal.

All right.

You have the right to remain silent.

You have a right to see a lawyer--

J.J.!

Ma, I know his head isn't wrapped tight,

but I didn't think the package fell apart completely.

Now, what is this all about?

I found this pamphlet about Cuba.

That couldn't be yours by any chance, could it?

That's ridiculous.

Does that mean yes or no?

Look, I'm not answering any more of your dumb questions.

See that, Ma? She just pleaded the Fifth Amendment.

J.J., stop it.

Yeah, J.J., you're always shooting off the mouth.

The only trouble is

it keeps growing back and getting bigger.

Oh yeah?

Well, your mouth's so big,

you've got to rent extra cheeks to fill it.

That's right, root canal--

I told you both to stop it.

Now that still isn't answering my question.

If this thing doesn't belong to either one of you,

who's is it?

Hi, Ma.

What you doing with my pamphlet?

Michael?

This belongs to you?

Yeah, Mama, that's mine.

Boy, little bro,

I'm really ashamed of you,

turning against your country.

After all the advantages you've had

of living right here in the ghetto.

J.J.,

I think you've been painting too long.

The turpentine has affected your brain.

Michael.

Yeah, Ma?

Why did you hide this in J.J.'s drawer?

I wasn't hiding it.

I must have put it there by mistake.

Hey, what are you doing with it?

Some research.

Ah-ha!

Trying to find out where our missile bases are, huh?

J.J., I don't know where our missile bases are,

but I do know where our main fool base is.

Michael? Yeah?

I'm still waiting for you to tell me

what you're doing with this pamphlet?

Our history teacher gave us an assignment to do

on the Bicentennial,

so I thought I'd compare the American Revolution

with the Cuban Revolution.

They're a dictatorship and we're a democracy,

except for a couple of wards

here in Chicago.

Well, thank heavens that all there was to it.

You know, Mama,

it was real interesting finding out about Cuba.

Do you know come harvest time,

everybody has to go out in the field

and cut sugarcane.

Reminds me of when we had to chop cotton.

Yeah, I know what you mean,

but things have gotten better for us

in this country.

We have black mayors, black congressmen,

a black man on the Supreme Court.

Hey, and maybe even one day, we might have a black president.

Oh...

I don't know about that, Michael.

Ain't too many black dudes that ski.

Hey, Michael,

how'd you get this information on Cuba?

At the library?

No. I wrote to the Cuban government.

Where'd you get a Cuban stamp from?

I used an American stamp,

dumb-dumb.

Michael,

you actually wrote to Cuba

and they wrote you back?

Yeah, Ma.

Well, honey, I don't think that was such a good idea.

What do you mean?

Well, when you wrote to them,

their security people might have opened the letter,

and when they sent you this pamphlet,

our security people may have opened it.

This has become a world of letter openers.

Everybody is uptight.

Yeah, but a little kid like Michael,

who'd worry about him?

Wait a minute...

Wait a minute.

That's it!

What's it?

Well, you see, Michael's last name is Evans,

and by unfortunate coincidence,

he also has an older brother with the same name.

I bet that's why I lost my chicken delivering job.

You lost your job?

Ma, J.J. lost his job.

Mm-hmm. Tomorrow is his last day.

That couldn't be why he lost it.

I wouldn't exactly call delivering chicken

a security risk.

That shows you how much you know, little girl.

There's a lot of places in a chicken

where you could hide microfilm.

Oh, stop being silly.

Look, J.J.,

you probably lost that job

because things are slow.

People are losing jobs every day,

and I think we're letting our imaginations

run away with us.

Now, if they did find out about Michael's letter,

can you imagine the government worrying

about a little school kid and a chicken deliverer?

Ma's right.

The whole thing is a coincidence.

James?

You ain't going to believe what happened.

I tell you, you ain't going to believe

what happened to me.

You lost your job.

Baby, I'm standing there working on the dock

and I'm minding my own business, and I'm working good and all--

Baby, I don't get it.

I mean it. I just don't get it.

I'm doing a good job,

and then, boom, all of a sudden I'm terminated.

Yeah, Dad, you ain't the only one.

I've been terminated too.

As a matter of fact,

I think we'd be the first father and son team

to collect unemployment insurance.

Maybe they'll give us a family rate.

Oh, Junior lost his job too?

Will somebody tell me

what is going on around here?

James...

Oh, Florida, I've been fired before,

but baby, I always knew the reason why--

things were slow, the plant was moving,

or they didn't like the color of my skin--

but this right out of the blue,

and just when I'm doing a good job with no explanation.

James, I think I may know the reason.

Freeze, Michael.

Ma, I've got to go to the bathroom.

You stay right here.

Oh, Florida,

what's his going to the bathroom

got to do with me losing my job?

Honey, this may be a little hard

for you to believe, but--

Michael here done made pen pals

with Fidel Castro.

Now what's Fidel Castro got to do with this?

Well, I'm not sure about this,

but I've just got a feeling

that maybe--

Ma, that couldn't be it.

The whole thing is crazy.

It's making me so nervous,

I've really got to go to the bathroom.

Will somebody please tell me what is going on around here?

Maybe. Couldn't be. Castro.

James...

Michael wrote an essay for school

comparing the American Revolution

to the Cuban Revolution.

Yeah?

And he wrote a letter to Cuba for information.

So Michael wrote to Cuba.

So President Ford has tea with Mao Tse-tung

and Kissinger has vodka with Brezhnev

and Lunch Meat Mumford would eat a Fat Burger

with anybody that comes along.

What the hell has all that got to do

with me losing my job?

Oh, Daddy, calm down.

Honey, you're going to break a blood vessel.

I broke a blood vessel

when I found out that I got fired.

Will somebody in here please get to the point?

Well, this is just a guess,

but it could be

that they found out about Michael's letter,

and know they think

we're some kind of security risk.

Security risk?

Right.

Florida,

Brady's manufacturers women's clothes.

Spent all last month on the loading dock

shipping out you know what?

You know what we're shipping? Ladies' nightgowns.

Now what kind of security risk is that?

What do you think Mata Hari used to wear?

Huh?

Oh, there he goes again.

He lost his chicken job, but he's still a birdbrain.

Oh yeah? I may be a birdbrain, but you the whole turkey.

Let me tell you something--

I don't want any more yelling in here!

James,

what do you think you're doing?

Who, me?

Look, all I know

is the whole building is shaking,

and Chicago ain't earthquake territory.

I'm sorry, baby.

It's just that this whole thing don't make no sense.

It don't make no sense at all.

It's crazy.

I'm telling you, it's just plain crazy.

Shh.

Shh.

Shh.

Wanda, is something wrong?

Why do you ask?

Why do you ask?

Well, it might have something to do

with the way you came in, went out, and came in again.

Thelma, get Wanda a glass of water.

Okay, Ma.

Wanda, was somebody following you?

Following?

Following?

What's make you say that?

What makes you say that?

Well, you sure acted like it.

Did I? Did I?

No, I didn't. No, I didn't.

Somebody hear an echo around here?

Thank you, honey. Thank you, honey.

There it goes again.

Stop it.

Can't you see Wanda's upset?

Come on, Wanda. What's going on now?

What's wrong?

Well, a few minutes ago, a man came to see me.

So?

Who was the man?

Well, you won't believe this.

Wanda, your mouth is moving,

ain't nothing coming out.

The FBI.

I've got to go again.

Wanda, are you sure?

Yeah,

and he asked a whole lot of questions.

He did, huh?

What kind of questions was he asking, Wanda?

Well, he was asking about this whole family--

your habits, what you do, where you go,

and what kind of friends visit you.

What'd you tell him?

Oh, I didn't tell him anything.

I just said, "So sorry. No speaky English..."

and that really confused him.

He'd never seen a black Japanese before.

Sayonara.

I think I know what's going on now,

Florida.

Yeah, I think I see what's going on.

The FBI came

and they asked my boss a few questions.

He got nervous and he fired me.

Oh, honey,

Michael sent off for that thing

for a school project.

And the school project is costing me my job.

Oh, let's face it. The man fired me.

One more dock worker ain't all that indispensable.

Daddy, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to cause all this trouble.

Oh, that's all right, son. It ain't your fault

Let's face it, Michael, we're living in a crazy time.

J.J., what are you doing?

Ma, uh...

do you think we need an exterminator around here?

I think we've got bugs.

What are you talking about?

No, Ma, I don't mean those kind of bugs.

I mean bugs that bug.

Mama, J.J.'s probably right.

This place could be bugged.

Shh...

Oh, come on, Michael.

Now how could the FBI get in here?

Thelma, how'd the CIA get into Italy?

Oh, come on and stop all this nonsense

and let's get down to the real problem.

Honey, what are you going to do

about the job?

I don't know, baby.

Hey, Daddy,

maybe you can go down and talk to the FBI.

Oh, come on, Thelma.

You think the FBI are going to talk to me?

Hell, no.

Instead, they talked to my boss.

Yeah, that's who they talked to.

The jive turkeys.

Uh, in the ghetto,

"jive turkey's" an expression of sincere affection.

You see,

we know the FBI's doing a fine job

protecting all the patriotic citizens,

just like the Evans family.

Four score and seven years ago--

Will you quit talking to that lamp?

You've got a point there, Dad.

Hiding the mike in that lamp

is too obvious.

Boy, you can really act a fool sometimes, J.J.

Hey, J.J., what are you doing?

Well, on Get Smart,

they always hide the mike inside of a shoe.

We, the people of the United States,

in order to form a more perfect union--

If you don't stop that,

they're going to think you're the one that flew

over the cuckoo's nest.

Yeah, J.J.

You're stupid talking into a shoe.

If they wanted to bug anything,

it would be the telephone,

and they don't have to come into the apartment

to do that.

You've got a point there, Michael.

Huh? Shh.

You think it's possible?

Sure it's possible.

They've done it before.

Yeah, to a lot of people.

That's right.

Now look,

we ain't got nothing to hide.

We ain't done nothing wrong.

Hey! Ah, James!

What the hell are we whispering for?

We're in our own house.

I hope somebody is bugging this phone.

I've got something to tell them.

Whoever's bugging this phone,

your mama's a pin boy at the Bowl-a-Drome.

That's right,

and if you've got any questions

to ask me and my family,

come down here and ask them in person.

I don't appreciate all this creeping around.

* God bless America *

* My home-- *

Oh, give me that phone.

You're too skinny to be Kate Smith.

[KNOCKING]

The only song I feel like singing

is the unemployment blues.

Federal Agent Lloyd.

May I come in?

Do we have a choice?

Well, this is an unofficial visit.

We know what you're here for.

You're here to make sure

our daughter loses her job as a babysitter, huh?

Now that's a real security risk,

ain't it?

Reading Mother Goose to four year olds.

Hey, man, I'm glad you here.

I was right in the middle of my patriotic medley.

* My country 'tis of thee *

* Sweet land... *

Closing out the medley.

As I said,

I'm here off the record.

I'd like to explain something to you.

Man, you ain't got to explain nothing.

We know why you're here.

You're looking for your dangerous revolutionary.

Well, there he is. Look at him.

Castro's top secret agent.

He'd have grown a beard, but he's too young to shave.

Tell him, Mike.

Tell him how you plan to overthrow the country.

I only sent away for this pamphlet

to do a school report.

I know.

You know?

You know, and you still

kept creeping around here asking questions?

I'm sorry,

but we were asked to find out

who was receiving Cuban propaganda

in the mail.

Just routine. Routine.

Man, you all got some kind of routine.

Causing people to lose their jobs.

I'm sorry about that too.

We had to ask questions.

We never thought your boss would react this way.

Well, how the hell did you expect him to react?

Man, the FBI comes nosing around asking him questions.

He figures it's going to be trouble.

He's got enough already, so goodbye James Evans.

Well, it's all straightened out now.

We talked to your boss.

You've got your job back.

Well, I've got my job back, that's good,

but how about all them people that ain't so lucky, huh?

How about them?

People do have a right to their privacy,

you know.

All this poking around makes folks uneasy.

It's an uneasy world, Mrs. Evans.

Well, thank you for your time and goodbye.

Hey, hold on there, man.

I lost my job too.

I got fired.

I'm afraid I can't do anything about that.

We never spoke with your boss.

How come I got fired then?

Maybe you're weren't a very good chicken deliverer.

You ever thought about that?

Well, everything is going to be all right.

At least you got your job back, honey.

Yeah, I got my job back, baby,

and I know everything's

supposed to be cleared up now,

but you know something, Florida?

I've still got the feeling

that somewhere, someplace,

my name is still in somebody's file.

As soon as my little hand gets on the stew

and my big hand gets on the bread.

Hi, Daddy. Hey.

Hey, how did it go at Brady's?

Everything straightened out now?

Well, it went kind of half and half.

What do you mean by half and half, Daddy?

Well, the FBI man wasn't lying,

I did get my job back...

but while all this commotion was going on,

I lost that promotion to P. Johnson.

Oh...

Honey, that's too bad, but, oh, never mind.

There'll be other chances.

I hope so, baby. Dinner be ready soon?

In a minute.

Hey, gang!

Great news. Huh?

I got myself a new job.

Hey, is it at another chicken place?

No. It's at the round of rib and roast beef place.

I may have lost my bird, but look what I've got now.

[***]

* Mm-mm-mm *

* Just lookin' Out of the window *

* Watching the asphalt grow *

* Thinkin' how It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good times Good times *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs Good times *

ANNOUNCER: Good Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em? *

* Good times **