Original subtitles

* Good times Any time you meet a payment *

* Good times Any time you need a friend *

* Good times Any time you're out from under *

* Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs Good times *

* Easy credit rip-offs Good times *

* Scratchin' and survivin' Good times *

* Hangin' in a chow line Good times *

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em? *

* Good times **

Dad, can I borrow your razor?

Why? You ain't using tweezers no more?

Oh, Dad.

Oh, sure, you can use my razor, Junior.

Who's your big date with tonight?

Gorgeous Gertrude, the glamour girl of the ghetto.

Whatever happened to your one and only,

Delightful Delilah?

Oh, no, Dad, the flame has flickered out.

Aw, who turned off your pilot light, Romeo?

I did, Ma.

The other night we went out for french fries and a malt,

and she didn't come out with her half of the loot.

I got one rule with all my chicks,

they gots to pay their own way.

Our son, the lover.

Yeah. Well, that stands to reason.

I mean, look who his father is.

Baby, it won't be long before old Michael here

be chasing after girls too.

I got news for you, Daddy. I already caught a few.

That boy is growing up faster than we thought.

Yeah.

Look here.

Who's your main squeeze these days,

Romeo Number Two?

Well, Daddy,

I don't have just one main squeeze.

I'm gonna take my advice from J.J.,

and I'm playing the field. All right!

Since when have you been taking advice from J.J.?

J.J. talks a lot in his sleep, and I do a lot of listening.

[JAMES LAUGHS]

Hi, Ma, Dad.

Hello.

You remember me talking about

my girlfriend Jo Ann Taylor, right?

FLORIDA: Uh-huh.

Well, Jo Ann.

This is my mother, my father, Hello.

And my brother Michael. Hi.

We're having a French test this weekend.

I'm gonna help Jo Ann.

Oh, that's nice.

Thelma told me about you

being voted homecoming queen

for your senior class.

Congratulations.

Thank you,

but if I don't do better with my grades,

I might still be in the senior class next year.

Oh, now, don't go putting yourself down.

That's right, Dad.

In French, she's just a little weak

on verbs.

And adverbs, adjectives, prepositions and nouns,

especially nouns... like the word door.

I mean, I know in French it's porte,

but you got to know

whether it's masculine or feminine.

Oh, that's easy.

I mean, if the door is marked men,

then it's masculine. If it's marked ladies,

then you know it's feminine.

Come on, Jo Ann.

My room is this way. Okay.

[GASPS]

Hey, now.

Far out, Thelma! Who is the artist around here?

Uh, my brother J.J.

I think I've seen some of his paintings around.

You probably saw them down at the community center.

He took up some of his work over to the art show

a couple weeks ago.

He won first prize.

Hey, now, that's out of sight.

Hey, where's the aftershave lotion?

Uh, J.J.

Uh, Jo Ann,

this is my brother, J.J,

in the flesh... whatever there is of it.

Hi, J.J.

Nice to meet you, J.J.

[GIGGLES]

J.J.

J.J.?

J.J.

Nice to meet you, Mama.

Whoa.

Something tells me he's gonna do a lot of talking

in his sleep tonight.

Come on, Jo Ann.

Let's get started on that French.

Okay.

Hello, Jo Ann.

She's gone.

Yeah, and so is Junior.

Hey, J.J.

J.J.! Hey, J.J.! Snap out of it, man.

I thought you had a date with Gorgeous Gertrude.

Who?

The glamour girl of the ghetto, man.

Oh, no, now she's on the junk pile

with Delightful Delilah.

Well, I better go put on my shirt.

I probably drove Jo Ann crazy

with this... fantastic body.

Oh, uh, Dad,

can I borrow your aftershave lotion?

I'm all out, Junior.

Oh, that's okay. I'll use Thelma's Afro Sheen.

J.J., that's a hair conditioner.

Oh, better yet, Ma.

Makes my mustache more soft and...kissable.

Well, when it comes to girls,

J.J. flips faster than a pancake.

You can't keep up with him

without a score card.

Gorgeous Gertrude, Delightful Delilah,

Marvelous Myrna, the human burner.

Yeah, and don't forget Sizzling Suzy.

I never heard him mention her.

I know, Mama. That's because she's one of my chicks.

Young man,

don't you have some homework to do?

Yeah, some biology,

and I'm learning that subject fast.

Not too fast.

Well, Florida, you really can't blame girls

for chasing after our sons.

I mean, there's something about the Evans men.

It runs in the family.

[LAUGHING]

[IMITATES LAUGHTER]

It does, huh?

Yeah, well, I mean...

Like, when I was Junior's age, baby,

I didn't have no problem with girls either.

I'd see a good-looking girl, and I'd say to myself--

What did you say, James?

[CHUCKLES]

I say, "Self, that ain't the right one."

Yep, you sure said that.

Well, Florida, you know you're the only one for me.

The minute I saw you, baby, I said, "That's it."

Well, you must have done a lot of window shopping

before you decided what to buy.

Of course, baby.

I mean, when a man is looking for a wife,

he wants to make sure he gets a quality product.

Let's face it. I did.

Careful how you handle the merchandise.

Thelma!

Would you and Jo Ann like something cold to drink?

THELMA: Oh, that would be great, Ma. Thanks!

Uh, they still in there studying?

Mm-hmm.

Uh, Ma, what you doing over there?

Well, I'm giving the girls

something cold to drink.

Well, let me take it in the room, Ma.

Wow, how come you're so helpful all of a sudden?

Just that I know

my little sister is in there studying,

and I wanna make sure she has the proper nourishment.

All right, J.J., you wanna take this tray in,

here.

Oh, Ma, could you hold these for a minute?

Sure, what's the matter?

Boy, take this tray!

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

I mean, ouvrez la porte.

[GRUMBLES]

Uh, I brought y'all the drinks.

Thank you, J.J.

You're welcome.

Thank you--

J.J., the drink.

It's delicious.

Oh, uh...

[CLEARS THROAT]

How you all doing with the French?

Well, Thelma is really a great teacher,

but, man, I'm still having trouble.

Well, then, uh...

maybe I can help you out here.

You know, when I was a mere youth in high school,

French was one of my big subjects.

J.J., you took Spanish.

You don't know any French,

so why don't you get out of here?

What you talking about, girl?

Remember the time the family went to that fancy restaurant?

I ordered the entire meal in French.

Yeah, but it was a Chinese restaurant.

Come on now, Thelma, what's the difference?

You speak one foreign language,

you speak them all.

Let me tell you something, Jo Ann.

Yes?

The main thing you gotta remember

about speaking a foreign language is...

never speak it in English.

I got to remember that.

J.J.: Yeah, and when you go on the road, always remember--

Uh, J.J. If you don't mind,

we have a lot of work to do.

Oh, so do I. I gotta finish a painting.

Even though I may be big on foreign language,

art is still my numero uno.

[GIGGLES]

Great, fantastic, fine. Now, will you get out of here,

s'il vous plaît.

Okay.

And until next time...

Si-si bon.

Arriv-a-derch!

And, uh... sari-nara.

Well, hit another bull's-eye.

You mean, you racked up some points

with the beauty queen?

The beauty queen melted at the sight of the beauty king.

She really fell apart, huh, Junior?

Let me put it to you this way, Dad.

After seeing me,

the only French words she could say was, "Ooh-la-la."

That boy's foot is a size 12,

and his head is catching up fast.

J.J., what are you doing?

Oh, just getting some threads

more suitable for the occasion.

JAMES: Oh, no.

Not those, Junior. Those are your killer threads.

[CHUCKLES]

Why don't you have mercy on the girl?

Well, Dad,

since she's gonna be my future fox,

she might as well see the whole enchilada.

You know, I don't believe that boy.

I tell you, baby, I mean,

can you imagine anybody being that stuck on their self.

Mm-hmm.

I married him.

Oh, now, wait a minute now, baby.

I mean, I admit I am handsome...

Oh.

But you never heard me doing

that much horn blowing.

Oh, come on, James, you blow so many horns,

you could be the whole brass section

for Count Basie.

You gotta admit one thing, baby.

What?

We're making beautiful music together.

We sure have.

[SQUEALING]

Oh! They're at it again.

The Liz and Dick of the ghetto.

Willona, do you ever even think about knocking?

Yeah, the thought has occurred to me,

but I drove it right out of my mind.

The bicentennial is getting next to me,

and I wanna be able to say I was there,

and that's the way it was.

Ho, ho, ho, hey, hey!

Well, if you want to make it a real bicentennial,

why don't you just visit us every 200 years?

Ha, ha, ha, hoo, hoo!

Ho, ho!

[LAUGHS]

Oh, James.

That's all right, Flo.

We just starting the fireworks a little early.

Hmm.

Awfully quiet around here.

Where are the kids?

Oh, don't tell me they all left home,

and you was getting ready to start another set.

Michael is in our room doing his homework.

Thelma and Jo Ann Taylor are in there.

She's helping her with some school work.

Jo Ann Taylor? Mm-hmm.

Oh, isn't she the high school homecoming queen?

Yup, and she's beautiful.

She sure is.

She looks just like me when I was her age.

And homecoming queen myself.

You a long way from home, sweetie.

You know, Flo,

when I was a bridesmaid at your wedding,

I remember thinking to myself,

"Crazy. Here I am carrying a bouquet of roses,

just because Flo caught herself a clump of poison ivy."

Willona Woods done done it again.

Give me five!

Well, I better blow the whistle

before we go into overtime.

Whoo-ooh!

NBC lost its peacock

and look where it landed!

Well, how y'all folks like it?

You look like an explosion in a paint factory.

I better go home and get my sunglasses.

The glare is blinding me.

Have a nice time, sugar.

I'll see y'all later. FLORIDA: Okay, bye.

JAMES: All right, Willona, take it easy.

Well, Junior, if you was any sharper,

you could be considered a dangerous weapon.

Yeah, I thought about that, Dad.

That's how come I wore my conservative socks.

[CHATTERING]

Are you two finished studying already?

Yeah, I guess so, Mrs. Evans.

I just can't seem to get it together.

Yeah, I think it's better

if we start off fresh some other time.

Yeah. Goodbye, everybody.

FLORIDA: Bye-bye. THELMA: Okay.

Thanks for your help, Thelma.

THELMA: Any time.

Uh, Jo Ann.

Yeah?

Look here, I got some tickets for the O'Jays concert

on Saturday night.

You're welcome to be my guest, and, uh...

you don't even have to pay your own way.

I'm sorry, J.J., but I really can't make it.

I'm busy Saturday night.

Uh... How about Sunday?

I got some tickets

for the Isley Brothers concert,

and they even hotter than the O'Jays!

But I got to study Sunday.

Well, I just happen to be free

on Monday night.

Oh, J.J., I'm sorry, but I really can't make it.

Uh... Tuesday afternoon?

Oh, J.J.,

listen, I'm gonna be kinda busy the whole week.

I'm sorry. Bye.

THELMA: Bye.

New Year's Eve?

Florida, how come it's so quiet out here?

What are you talking about, James?

Well, I'm trying to get some sleep,

but I can't.

Ain't nobody yelling.

Well, J.J.'s not around.

Oh.

You know, he hasn't been himself

since Jo Ann walked into his life

and then walked right back out.

Oh, don't worry about J.J.

You can't keep him down too long.

Yep, it's his nature, happy-go-lucky.

He'll bounce back.

[SOLEMNLY] Hi, y'all.

Well, the only thing I seen bouncing lately

is that bird on his head.

How's it going, son?

How's the poultry-pushing business?

I don't know, Dad.

My heart just ain't into my work.

Come on, J.J., snap out of it.

Anyhow, how much heart do you need to deliver chicken?

Thelma, I really messed up today.

One of my big customers too, the Thomases.

They're usually a wings family,

but by mistake, I brought over

two buckets of legs.

And when you're into wings,

you don't like to mess with no legs.

Mr. Thomas got so mad, he nearly broke both of mine.

Oh, come on, J.J., everybody makes a mistake.

Yeah, Ma, but I just can't concentrate.

J.J, you shouldn't let that thing with Jo Ann

get you down.

You have to realize she's very busy,

and she's also a very popular girl.

I don't even think about chicks anymore.

The only chicks I bother with are the ones I deliver.

Wait a minute. Hold it. Now, that ain't fair

to all the rest of them girls out there,

climbing all over each other

just to get a lock of your mustache.

Huh?

Yeah, I wish I had a bad mustache like that.

J.J., you're so handsome,

I hear that Billy Dee is eating his heart out.

Yeah, and Diana Ross tore up his number

and is now looking for yours.

Oh, now, hold on. Stop it, all of you.

Just stop it.

Now, look here.

Let's get something out front right now.

Dad, you a handsome dude. Ma, you're a beautiful lady.

Thelma, you're good-looking.

Michael, you're good-looking.

Tell me, what happened to me?

Now, J.J.,

you're our first born.

You were beautiful then, and you're beautiful now.

And what about all those girls?

There is Delightful Delilah, Gorgeous Gertrude,

Marvelous Myrna.

Oh, Ma, let me tell you something.

Delightful Delilah is really Delilah the Dog.

Gorgeous Gertrude is really Gertrude the Gorilla.

And Marvelous Myrna is really Myrna the Monster.

Junior, what you talking about?

No, Dad, I knew I was out of my class

when I tried to date Jo Ann.

The only kind of girls I go out with

is the kind the other dudes reject.

I get more recalls than General Motors, Ford

and Chrysler together.

J.J.

Well, I'm gonna change for art school.

Oh, James,

it hurts me to see him this way.

I can't believe that's J.J.

Yeah, I know what you mean, baby.

I guess it's all my fault.

I should've never brought Jo Ann here.

Oh, now, stop that, baby girl.

It's all right.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Well, Jo Ann really bowled him over.

Hello, Mrs. Evans.

Hello, Jo Ann.

Jo Ann?!

Well, hi, Thelma.

Don't you remember?

We made up to meet tonight

for you to help me with my French.

Well, don't you remember?

Oh, yeah.

Look, you guys better start studying right now.

Right now, hear?

Oh, come on, Jo Ann, let's get started.

Yes, honey, the faster, the better.

Right, Ma.

[DOOR SLAMS]

Oh. Uh, hi, J.J.

Oh, hi, Jo Ann,

I'm getting ready to go to art school.

Bye. Bye, y'all.

Uh, just a minute.

J.J., can I talk to you to a minute?

You wanna talk to me?

Yeah. In private.

Y'all wanna talk in private, go ahead.

We'll get out of the way.

Well, uh, now that we got all this privacy,

why don't you sit down.

Thank you, J.J.

[LAUGHS]

Michael, don't you see they want privacy?

I'm reading this magazine.

I ain't interested in what they doing.

Get your butt over here!

Well, J.J., I don't know how to begin.

Why don't you start at beginning?

Shh! James!

Uh, J.J., about the other day,

when you asked me out for a date

and I turned you down.

Well, I got thinking about it, and, wow, J.J.,

I mean, the way I must've sounded.

I hope I didn't hurt your feelings.

Are you kidding?

I never even gave it a second thought.

I'm glad,

because the reason I gave you all those excuses

was just that, well...

Oh, I was scared to go out with you, J.J.

Scared?

Well, yeah. I mean...

I usually go out with all those big, husky dudes

on the football team and the basketball team,

and, well, J.J.,

I've never gone out with someone like you.

What you mean, someone like me?

What you mean, someone like him?!

James!

Well, J.J.,

what I mean, is just that, well...

you're so intellectual.

J.J., you are deep.

I am?

Well, yeah.

I mean, all those far-out paintings you do,

winning all those prizes.

Well, J.J., you are just a creative genius.

I know.

Oh, I don't like to brag, though.

Brag, brag!

Anyway, J.J., the reason I was scared

to go out with you is that,

well, I wouldn't even know what to talk about.

I mean, J.J.,

I'm not the smartest person in the world, you know.

Who cares?

Uh, look here, Jo Ann,

uh, if you still wanna go out,

you know, uh, well,

maybe I may be able to find the time.

Hallelujah, our boy is back to normal.

Amen.

Well, what night would be good for you, J.J.?

Well, uh, let me see, now...

Schedule is pretty tight here.

Well, no. Well, yeah. Uh, well, uh...

How about, uh, tonight?

Well, J.J., I gotta study with Thelma,

and, well, I thought you had to go to art school.

I do, but I'll be home by 9:30,

and McDonald's don't close till 11.

We got the whole evening ahead of us.

Oh, wow, that sounds hip.

I just hope I don't disappoint you.

No way.

Well, until then...

au revoir, bonn-ami.

Que sera, sera...

And, uh...cognac!

Come on, Jo Ann, let's get started.

Okay, Thelma.

You know something, Mr. and Mrs. Evans?

Like, your son really has class.

We know. We know.

* Mm-mm-mm *

* Just lookin' Out of the window *

* Watching the asphalt grow *

* Thinkin' how It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good times Good times *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs Good times *

ANNOUNCER: Good Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em? *

* Good times **