Original subtitles

* Good Times Any time you meet a payment *

* Good Times *

* Any time You need a friend *

* Good Times *

* Any time You're out from under *

* Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

* Easy credit rip-offs *

* Good Times *

* Scratchin' and survivin' *

* Good Times *

* Hangin' in a chow line *

* Good Times *

* Ain't we lucky We got 'em? *

* Good Times *

Hey.

Do y'all realize what time it is?

There's only 15 minutes left

till the start of the baby shower,

and we ain't nearly ready.

Now, come on. Let's get a move on.

Michael, you set the table...

Aw, J.J.

Thelma, you finish wrapping the presents,

and Ma...

Yes, J.J.?

Uh, you're doing a great job. Keep it up.

Since when did you start

giving orders around here?

Well, Dad's out of town working

for a few days, right?

Well, when James Evans, Sr. ain't here,

it's up to James Evans, Jr.

to fill his shoes.

Fill his shoes?

You look like his shoes.

You're built like a pair of laces,

and your tongue is always flapping.

That's it, Thelma. You're out.

You're disinherited.

You ain't getting nothing out of my will.

You ain't getting nothing.

What will?

The only thing you own is a few little clothes,

and you're gonna have to leave that

to a scarecrow.

Oh, be quiet, prune face.

Look here, Michael. Good news.

You are getting the bulk of my estate.

J.J., if I have to wear your clothes, man,

I plan on dying before you do.

Ma, you see them picking on me here?

Well, if you're gonna strut around like a peacock,

you've got to expect

some of your feathers to get stomped on.

I guess I have to write something on this cake.

It's Loretta's third child.

What would be nice?

How about, "Congratulations

on the birth of your third child."

Yeah.

"May this one bring you

"as much happiness and joy

"as your first girl and your first boy...

"and if it happens to be a boy,

may it be strong and--"

J.J., you expect me to get all that

on this cake?

Well, try, Ma.

The more icing, the better I like it.

I'll just make it nice and simple.

"To a lovely baby."

And it will be.

It's too bad Loretta's husband won't be around to see it.

It's hard to believe

Mr. Simpson passed away just a few months ago.

Mama, when's the baby due?

Well, Loretta says in four or five weeks,

but the only one who really knows

is the baby.

They have a built-in timer.

Were we on time, Mama?

You and Thelma were,

but as usual, J.J. was late.

Well, could I help it if my watch stopped?

Hi.

FLORIDA: Hi, Willona.

How's everything coming?

Oh, just fine. Just fine.

What did you get for the baby?

Oh, girl, it wasn't easy deciding.

They got some way-out toys in the stores now.

They got a doll that cries

real tears,

they got a doll that grows hair,

and they even got a doll that has babies.

Babies?

That's right,

and she keeps on having them

till you buy these little toy pills.

Hey,

Loretta should have been here by now,

shouldn't she? Yeah.

She probably got held up at the welfare office.

Ooh, yeah, child.

I took one of my friends down there last week,

and there was this chick sitting behind the desk

with this nasal congestion,

and she said,

"Madam, aren't you aware that we have given you

a 10 percent increase in your welfare benefits?"

And my friend said, "Don't do you much good

when the cost of living is going up 20 percent."

Then the chick said,

"Well, Madam,

"if you feel you've been mistreated,

mail a letter of complaint to the government."

Ooh.

The government already figured out a way

to stop those complaining letters.

They're raising the price of stamps so high

you can't afford to mail them.

Hey, is Cora and Alice going to get here?

Yep, they should be here any minute now.

I hope they get here before Loretta does.

After all,

this whole thing was supposed to be a surprise.

Mm-hmm. You know, Flo,

this is the first baby shower I have been to

since your kids was born.

J.J., did you know I got you your first rattle?

No, you didn't, Willona.

J.J.'s first rattle was the one in his head.

Well, at least I was born.

Ma and Dad found you on a doorstep

with a note saying, "You take her.

She's too ugly for us."

Signed, "Dr. and Mrs. Frankenstein."

By the way, Willona,

you never did tell us what you got for the baby.

Oh, well, I didn't like

any of those plastic toys... Mm-hmm.

So I got her

one of those old fashioned, cuddly teddy bears.

Oh, that's adorable. Look at that, Thelma.

Hey, Ma, when I was a baby, I had one of those things.

Whatever happened to it?

Like everything else, J.J.,

it was passed on to Thelma

and then passed on to Michael.

Yeah, but by the time it was passed on to me,

it was bald.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR] Get the door, honey.

Okay, Ma.

Thelma, how about coffee?

Hi.

Hi there, Michael.

Hi, how are you? Hi.

Welcome. We're sorry we're late.

Oh, that's all right.

Loretta will be here any minute,

so I want you two to sit down

and make yourselves comfortable.

I love baby showers.

Especially when they ain't for me.

Cora, what you talking about?

You already have seven beautiful children yourself.

Yeah, and they like to wore me out.

I carried seven kids for nine months each,

and all my husband carried was a handful of cigars.

Mm-hmm.

I was pregnant so much,

I didn't see my feet

for the first seven years of our marriage.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Oh, that must be Loretta.

Y'all come on, and be quiet.

ALL: Surprise!

Surprise.

Hey, baby.

I bet you didn't know...

[CLAMORING]

Well, what's going on? What's going on?

A baby shower, that's what.

A baby shower? Yeah.

Come on. Sit down and take it easy.

You and that little...

I mean, big bundle of happiness.

Oh, Florida,

if I'd known you were going to do this,

I never would have come here.

Oh, don't be silly.

We all love you, right?

Right. Right.

But, uh...

you don't understand.

Oh, honey, you look tired.

Those dudes down at the welfare gave you a hard time today,

didn't they? Not really.

What bothered me mostly was when Fred was alive,

we never even went within smelling distance

of the welfare.

Oh, honey, you're gonna just have to get used to it.

I stand in line at the welfare office.

I stand in line to use my food stamps.

I stand in line at the unemployment office.

You know, sometimes I get the uneasy feeling

that when my time comes,

they're gonna bury me standing up.

Mama,

can we give Loretta our gifts now?

Oh, that's a great idea, Michael.

Florida, please, I, uh...

I can't accept any gifts.

Well, these gifts ain't for you.

They're for the baby.

And as soon as he gets old enough

to say, "No, thank you,"

we'll take everything back.

I'll start things off with a personal IOU

for my painting of your child

when it's six months old

and all the wrinkles are gone.

And this is from Michael and me.

Yeah. It's a blanket

for bringing the baby home from the hospital.

Yeah, it's really pretty. I hope you like it.

Thank you, children, but I can't--

And my gift goes right along with the blanket.

It's a diaper pail full of Pampers.

I call it

the Florida Evans Storm Warning Kit.

And I have got you the prettiest--

[STIFLES A SOB]

What's the matter?

Look, honey, it's just all the things

we know you're gonna need.

Come on.

But, Florida,

that's what I've been trying to tell you.

I'm not going to need it.

What?

I'm not keeping the baby.

Loretta...

Loretta, honey, you don't mean that.

Oh, yes, I do. No.

The baby's already put up for an adoption,

and a good agency

is making the arrangements.

But, Loretta, honey, why?

Because I don't need it and it don't need me.

I can't give this baby nothing.

I've got two kids I can't take care of.

Don't you understand, Florida? No.

I'm trying to give this baby a chance it don't have

with no father and a mother who's on welfare.

I don't need it.

Loretta, your life can change.

You've got to hang in there.

You've got to keep on keeping on,

no matter what happens.

Sure. That's right.

Me and Eddie was gonna quit after five kids,

but then he got a good temporary job,

and there I was,

doing the baby cakewalk again.

Girl, you'll meet a nice man

and get married again.

Then you'll want your baby back.

Y'all talking about the future, and I don't have one,

but this baby can have a future once its name is changed.

Loretta, if you keep the baby,

I'll babysit free whenever you want.

Yeah, and I can do all your shopping

when I come home from school.

And if it's a temporary father you need,

I'll feed the baby whenever you say.

I'll start it off with milk and Pablum

and after it gets its first tooth,

nothing but Big Macs.

Oh, Loretta, we'll always be there.

We always will.

I know you would, but it's just not enough.

Oh-- I'm, uh...

I'm giving the baby up.

No, Loretta. You say that now,

but once you hold that baby in your arms

and look down in his little face,

there's no way in the world

you're gonna give it up. WILLONA: That's the truth.

You're right, Florida,

and that's why I made arrangements

for the people at the hospital

to take the baby away from me

the minute it's born.

I'll never even see it,

and what you don't see, you don't miss.

Loretta...

I'm, uh... I'm so sorry.

I...

I guess I better be going.

Thank you all anyway, but I...

I can't accept

any of these beautiful gifts.

But we want you to keep them.

Sure, in case you change your mind.

Right. Loretta,

sometimes adoption is the thing to do,

but you've been under so much strain lately.

Maybe you should think about it.

Alice,

I have thought it over,

and I know what I'm doing.

We'll see you, Florida.

I'll see them out, Flo.

Thanks for coming by.

[MOANS]

You all right?

This is one baby that sure can kick.

Are you all right?

That's another reason to keep the baby, Loretta.

It can always become a famous field goal kicker

for the Chicago Bears.

That's right.

Oh... Oh, I...

I think I better go.

Florida, I know you meant well,

and I'm sorry.

Loretta, you're not going anywhere.

You're gonna stay

and have dinner with us. Right?

MICHAEL: Yeah.

Oh, I can't. Yes, you can.

Listen, honey,

you wouldn't let us give you a shower.

At least stay and eat.

But I'm not very hungry.

But you're just the party

of the first part.

Now, the party of the second part

needs all the nourishment it can get

from the party of the first part,

right?

Mm-hmm. Good.

Thelma, get your coat.

We got things to get at the market.

Well, I'm gonna go with you,

because I want to stock up

while they got a special on hamburger.

What special?

Well, if you find any meat

between the fat and the gristle,

they give you one free.

See you later, honey. Okay.

J.J., I want you and Michael to make her comfortable

until we get back, huh?

Okay, Mama. We will.

I won't be long, sweetheart.

Is there anything we can do for you, Loretta?

Oh, no, no, J.J. I'm fine.

Please don't mind me.

You boys do what you always do.

Well, okay, Loretta.

If you'll excuse me,

I got some homework to finish up.

Of course, Michael. You go ahead.

Okay.

J.J., what about you?

Uh, I think I'll paint a picture

of this beautiful chick I met last night.

Without a model?

[CHUCKLES]

I got a memory that won't quit.

[LAUGHS]

Oh.

Oh, J.J.

Oh, that little dude in there

field goal kicking again?

I don't think so, J.J. Not this time.

J.J.,

promise you won't get excited if I tell you something.

Me? Get excited?

Look at that.

Steady as a rock.

J.J.,

I think I'm going to have the baby.

Sure you are.

We all know that.

I mean, uh...

right now.

Ma!

You mean, you're gonna have the baby

right now?

Sure feels like it's on its way.

Well, that makes two of us.

J.J., where are you going?

I'm going to yell for...

help!

Hey, what's going on in here?

Michael, you remember that sex education course

you had in school this year? Yeah.

Well,

I hope you read ahead, because we are

getting ready to take the final right now.

Oh, no.

Oh, yeah.

Michael, what are we gonna do?

What do you mean, what are we gonna do?

You said you was the man of the house.

And my first decision as the man of the house

is to make you the man of the house.

J.J., that's because

you're the chicken of the house.

The pains are coming about every five minutes.

Well, Michael, just don't stand there.

Uh, go boil some water.

What? Why? For what?

I don't know. Just...

Just go boil some water, man!

J.J., you'd better call the clinic

and get hold of a doctor.

225-3599.

Right.

Hey, Loretta,

is there anything I can do for you?

All I need from you, Michael, is a nice, relaxed smile.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Hello? Doc?

Look here.

I got one of your patients here is about to have a baby.

See you at the clinic. Check?

Just do what?

Are you sure you a baby doctor?

Oh.

I dialed the wrong number.

I got the pet hospital.

J.J., are you sure? It must have been.

They told me to put Loretta in a cardboard box

and let nature take its course.

I'll dial Information.

Okay, good.

[GASPING] J.J.! Michael!

Hey, J.J., I'm scared, man.

I wish Mama was here.

Hey, you just said the magic word.

"Mama."

Look here. Okay.

Go to the store and find Mama. Good idea.

I'll stay here and I'll watch Loretta.

Hey, but what store did Mama go to?

I don't know.

Just come back with Mama.

Anybody's mama!

Don't worry, Loretta. We'll get the doctor.

Never mind the doctor, J.J.

Just call this number.

A taxi will get me to the hospital.

Right. A taxi.

They know what they're doing.

Whoo. Boy, oh, boy.

For a minute there,

I thought we was in trouble,

but we all right now.

Whoo.

Hello? Yellow Cab Company?

Look here, man,

we need one of your vehicles right away.

Yeah.

Oh, no, we just right over here in the projects, and...

Hello?

Hello?

They're afraid to come into this neighborhood.

No wonder they call their cabs yellow.

Stay cool, J.J.

Wait a minute! The police.

The police will get you to the hospital.

They know what they're doing.

Yeah, I'll call the fuzz.

Hello, operator?

Get me the police. This is an emergency.

Don't worry.

The cavalry's on its way.

Hello? Police?

Look here. I got a pregnant woman here who's got to--

Yeah, my name is J.J. Evans.

Anyway, yeah, she's... she's about to have--

Pains are coming every three minutes, and--

Huh?

Yeah, the J.J. stands for James Junior.

Look here, yeah, I'm trying to...

I'm trying to explain to you the nature of this call.

The nature of this call is nature.

Somebody's having a baby.

You can't get any more nature than that.

Man, I tell you, this is murder.

No, no, no, no, no!

I didn't mean that.

I didn't mean that.

They're switching me to Homicide.

Hurry up, Mama.

Take it easy, Loretta. We're here now.

Thank goodness you're here, Ma.

Loretta's pains are coming every three minutes,

and mine are coming every two.

That's good, honey.

[GROANS]

Easy. Easy. Easy.

Breathe nice and easy, Loretta.

Nice and easy.

Thattagirl.

Thelma, wet a towel in some cold water

for her head.

Okay, Ma.

You'd better make that two towels.

She only needs one, Willona.

I know. The other one's for me.

Don't you faint on me now, Willona.

I'm cool.

Mama, what hospital are we going to?

Well, I don't know

that we're going to one, honey.

Then where's Loretta gonna have the baby?

Right here, I guess.

Here? Here.

Here? Here?

Here?

Well, she can't go there.

Michael, run across the street and get Miss Mitchell.

She's a midwife.

Okay, Mama.

Thelma, make sure there are

a lot of fresh towels in the room.

Okay, Mama. Help me get her in the room.

Can you walk, honey?

Come on, baby. Easy. Easy, now.

Hey, Ma, I got some water boiling here

just like they got in the movies.

What do you want me to do with it?

Drop some eggs in it. I think we'll miss dinner.

Right.

I always thought

it had something to do with the baby.

Oh, Willona, you don't look very good.

It's a lot better than the way I feel.

In there.

Loretta's time has come, all right.

Oh, Lord, Florida.

Listen, are you absolutely sure?

Willona, right now,

we are in the middle of a baby countdown,

and that bedroom is the launching pad.

Florida, the clinic ain't that far away.

We can call a cab--

I already called a cab, Willona.

They ain't coming in this neighborhood

without combat pay.

Listen, Loretta's pains are coming

much too fast for that.

Now, calm down, everybody.

[SHRIEKS]

Miss Mitchell will be here

any minute now.

Ma, it's Loretta. She wants you.

Okay, sweetheart. I'll be right there.

Ma, Miss Mitchell's not home.

Oh, Lord!

Florida, Florida, what are we gonna do?

[MOANING]

Is there any question?

Come on. Come on.

Hold it. Come on.

Hold it. Hold it.

No, no.

You can't be serious, Florida.

What does either one of us know

about bringing a baby into the world?

Lots more than the baby knows

about getting here by himself.

Now, come on.

Oh, brother.

Now what are we going to do?

I don't know. Just wait.

How long do you think it'll take, J.J.?

Michael, I ain't never been involved

in this kind of thing before.

Hey, J.J., why don't you stop pacing up and down, man?

You're making me nervous.

I can't help it. It's my first baby.

What do you think it'll be,

a boy or a girl?

Well...

I was always kind of hoping for a son.

You know, I always dreamed

to have somebody that I could name after me.

I could just imagine it.

J.J...

and his little J.J.J.

Then what if it's a girl?

I don't care what it is, Michael,

as long as it... hurries up!

What's the difference?

Loretta's gonna give it away anyway.

We'll probably never even know its name.

Wow.

In all the excitement, I forgot about that.

[BABY CRYING]

Hey, we did it!

Too much! All right! Far out!

It's a boy! It's a boy!

Hey, dyn-o-mite!

Hey, Ma, is everything okay?

Oh, the baby is fine.

Loretta is fine.

Everybody's fine.

I helped deliver a baby. I did.

I did, didn't I, Florida?

Yes, you did, Willona.

I couldn't have done it without you.

How long was I passed out?

Just a couple of minutes, and then you were fine.

Michael, get me Loretta's purse.

The adoption agency's number is in there.

Come on, Michael.

Ma,

do we have to make that call right now?

Believe me, J.J.,

I don't want to do this any more than you do,

but Loretta made me promise that I would.

It was the first thing she said after the baby got here.

Yeah, Thelma was holding the baby

and Loretta turned away so she couldn't see it.

It's a shame.

I ain't even seen the little fella,

and I already miss him.

Yeah, me too.

Hello?

I'd like to talk to the one in charge

of Loretta Simpson's adoption case.

Yes, I'll hold on.

Ma! What?

Thelma, what is it?

Oh, Ma, don't call.

What?

Loretta saw the baby,

and now she's not so sure she wants to give him away.

You mean she's gonna keep it?

I don't know if she's gonna keep it or not,

but she sure is thinking about it.

Poor Loretta. No matter which way she decides,

it ain't gonna be easy for her.

Amen to that.

Wait a minute.

Thelma, there's something I don't understand.

You were holding the baby,

and Loretta was doing everything she could

not to see the baby.

How did Loretta get to see the baby?

It was an accident, Ma.

You know, just one of those things.

Really, now.

How did this, uh...

"accident" happen?

Uh, well, Ma,

I was holding the baby on one side of the room

and Loretta had her back turned to us,

and the baby started to cry, and since I didn't know

whether Loretta was sleeping or not,

I had to go over and check,

because I didn't want the baby to wake her up.

Of course you didn't.

Of course she didn't.

And on my way over there, I kind of lost my balance,

and I needed a soft place to lay the baby down

and I found it.

It just happened to be right next to Loretta.

And Loretta just happened to end up

holding the baby, right?

Yeah.

I told you it was an accident.

Oh, Thelma.

Oh.

Hello?

Are you the person handling Loretta Simpson's adoption?

You are?

Sorry. Wrong number.

* Just lookin' Out of the window *

* Watching The asphalt grow *

* Thinkin' how It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good Times Good Times *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

ANNOUNCER: Good Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

* Ain't we lucky We got 'em? *