Original subtitles

* Good Times Any time you meet a payment *

* Good Times *

* Any time You need a friend *

* Good Times *

* Any time You're out from under *

* Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

* Easy credit rip-offs *

* Good Times *

* Scratchin' and survivin' *

* Good Times *

* Hangin' in A chow line *

* Good Times *

* Ain't we lucky We got 'em *

* Good Times *

Hurry up, Michael, you're late.

Get up in the morning, go to school, come home,

study, go to bed, get up again,

I just can't keep it up anymore, Mama.

This rat race is killing me.

Well, that's the problems you older men have to face.

There's your lunch and here's a quarter for milk.

Thanks, Ma. Have a nice day.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Okay.

Get in here!

Hey, you better be cool.

Hand it over man.

Hand what over?

Come on, come on.

Hey, man. Eddie, you know

it's against the rule to stop the elevator like that. Give me!

Yeah, well rules are made to be broken like your fingers.

Oh, yeah? Yeah?

Hey, man, Eddie, cut it out.

Get off of my lunch.

Come on, Eddie, this is the third time this week

you taking my lunch. I'm getting sick and tired.

If you so hungry why don't you join the free lunch program?

Already have, Evans, and you are it.

Hey, man, I get hungry too what am I supposed to do?

Why don't you sign up for the free lunch program?

You really funny, Eddie.

Yeah, well, don't complain, man.

It's harder on me than it is on you.

How do you figure?

This is the third day in a row that you've had meatloaf.

Well, that's just too tough, give it back.

Look out, Evans.

And don't think that I forgot about that quarter,

now you give.

I don't have one today.

You think I'm real dumb, don't you,

Mr. Straight-A Student?

Take it out of our shoe.

Oldest trick in the world.

Only a jive turkey would try to pull that kind of con.

And starting tomorrow the price goes up to 35 cents.

Why?

Inflation man.

It's tough on the small businessman too.

I wouldn't tell anybody about this

or the Tooth Fairy is going to be working overtime

at your house tonight.

Bye, sucker!

Oh, no.

For once I'd like to see a button roll out

into the middle of the floor instead of under the sofa.

If you care anything about someone who's been working

since 6:00 this morning, come out from under there please.

Hey, baby, look here, if your point is nine,

I've got two dollars says you can't make it.

Hi, James.

Hey.

Honey, I lost a button. Can you help me?

Sure. Be glad to.

[ARGUING]

$300 you cheater.

How can cheat at Monopoly?

I know I had a hotel on Boardwalk

before I went to the bathroom.

Well, you was in there so long,

when you came back the hotel was condemned.

[SHOUTING]

All right you two stop that hassling now.

Yeah, can't you see that Ma and Dad are praying.

I found your button, baby.

Oh, thanks, honey. Look what I found--

a quarter. Hey.

Hey that must be mine. Probably fell out of my pajamas

last night when I was sleeping.

What were you doing with money in your pajamas?

I take out Diana Ross a lot in my dreams,

and I don't want her to think I'm a cheap skate.

You're a head case.

J.J., you ought to leave your brain to science,

it's never been used.

You ought to leave your face to science,

they'd come up with a new bride of Frankenstein.

[SHOUTING]

All right, all right stop it. Now get out of my way.

Florida, where's all the food in this refrigerator?

Ain't nothing here but some cold air and a lonesome light bulb.

Honey, with the price of food today,

the only way that thing is going look full,

is if we get a smaller refrigerator.

Might as well unplug it then,

this ain't nothing but a 500-pound icemaker.

James there's still plenty to eat in there.

Yeah, but what happened to that piece

of sweet potato pie I was saving.

Now who would do something like that?

Junior?

Don't look at me, Dad. The same thing happened to me.

I wanted to make my favorite sandwich today,

peanut butter and jelly,

but there was no peanut butter

and there wasn't no jelly.

So I was forced to make a Ghetto Jam Sandwich.

Two pieces of white bread jammed together.

Something funny is going on around here.

I was saving a chicken wing yesterday

and it was gone before dinner.

Well, maybe what we've got in the house is a phantom nibbler.

Unless the roaches learned how to open the refrigerator.

It ain't no phantom, James. It's Michael.

Michael?

Mm-hm.

Every day this week he's been coming home and running

straight to that refrigerator

and then he eats a full dinner a half hour later.

Well, I'm glad the boy's eating good,

but why such a big appetite all of sudden?

He's a growing boy, James.

Yeah what's he growing, Wilt Chamberlain?

Michael has been kind of touchy lately.

Maybe he's not feeling well.

He looks fine to me.

Well, the answer's obvious.

That's right, he's been touchy,

he's been eating twice as much, that's it.

What's it?

Michael's pregnant.

Do you ever get to feeling like I do sometimes,

we might have brought the wrong baby home from the hospital?

Hi, everybody.

Michael, I want to have a talk with you, mister.

Sure, Daddy.

Are you feeling all right?

Yeah, great.

Michael did you eat your lunch today?

Um, yeah, Mama I ate it.

You sure you ate everything?

Even that apple I put in there.

Uh-huh.

That's strange. I haven't put an apple in his lunch

for two weeks now.

Oh, um, excuse I gotta go to the bathroom.

Freeze.

Michael, you haven't been eating your lunch all week have you?

No, I've been giving it away to a poor kid.

To a poor ki--?

Well, we'll just sign up for a care package ourself.

Now Michael, it's nice of you to care about someone else,

but skipping your own lunch isn't healthy for you.

In this case it is, Mama.

Now wait a minute, Michael.

I want to hear about all of this,

and I want to hear it right now.

I can't tell you, Daddy. I'll get a beating.

Oh, Michael, now you know your daddy

wouldn't hit you for telling the truth.

Daddy's not the one I'm worried about.

Wait a minute son, have you been giving your lunch away,

or somebody just been taking it?

I demand to plead the Fifth Amendment.

Some jive time junior flipping, ripping Michael's lunch.

He's been taking your milk money too, huh?

I'll kill him.

Michael why didn't you tell us about this before?

Because Michael's smart,

the dude's probably some eight-foot monster

make Mean Joe Green look like Little Bo Peep.

No J.J., Eddie's my size, but he's tough.

Wait a minute Michael, you say Eddie's your size?

Yeah.

All right, then Daddy's going

to tell you how to deal with him.

Now tomorrow when Eddie comes and try to take your lunch

from you say, "Hey look here man,

"I can't give you my lunch

because I get hungry later myself."

If he don't go for that then you drive on his face.

[MAKES ENGINE REVVING NOISE]

James, what an awful thing to teach your child.

You know violence only begets violence.

Well, that's all right, baby, because in this case Michael

gonna be giving and Eddie going to be getting.

Daddy, I don't think I have to fight if I use my head.

You know, Michael, I think you're right.

There must be a lot of ways to avoid that bully.

Sure, you could have someone sneak your lunch into school

and hide your quarter in your shoe.

Hide my quarter in my sh--

Thelma that's oldest trick in the world.

Only a jive turkey would try to pull a con like that.

Florida, you're kidding yourself,

either you stand up to a bloodsucker like this

or he bleeds you for the rest of your life.

That's right, Michael. You can handle this.

If you need any tips, I'll help you.

You looking at the lightweight champion of the ghetto.

You're only lightweight from the neck up.

Sit down J.J., nobody's teaching him how to fight.

But, Ma, I can help him,

because there ain't nobody gonna pick a fight

with the brother of Kid Dy-no-mite!

Look here, Michael, it's all in the arms and legs.

You just got to start bouncing and moving on the man.

Give him a right, right, right, right, right, left, follow up,

right, right, upper-cut, upper cut, get out of there,

come on move on, get in there, move on, keep your body moving.

If all this don't work use your legs.

To kick?

No, to run.

Thanks J.J., but I don't plan on fighting.

You're right, Michael. It never does any good.

Now wait a minute, let me hip both y'all to the facts of life.

Now there's some people out there ain't nothing but animals

and they make you fight them to survive.

If you don't fight them they just keep picking at you

and picking at you until you ain't got nothing left.

Now you can do one of two things, son,

you can either talk to them or you can run from them.

But it ain't going to do no good,

so you got to handle yourself like a man.

James, the boy is only 12 years old.

Florida, that ain't all that young in this neighborhood,

and you can't baby this child forever.

See, Michael, sometimes you've got to make your stand

right up front, that's how you get by.

And that's why you going to make your stand right up front

because you going to stand up to this punk tomorrow.

Florida, you've been working on the same sleeve

for the last 20 minutes now.

What you going to do this shirt, iron it or fry it?

I'm worried, James.

Michael should have been home a half hour ago.

I just know that bully has beat him up and he's laying

down in the gutter somewhere all alone.

He won't be alone, Ma. Not around here.

Probably some wino lying right next to him.

Shut up, Junior.

Cheer up, Mom. Michael can take care of himself.

Yeah, baby, I mean, even if he gets messed up a little bit,

he's still doing what he had to do.

James, don't say that.

Hi, everybody.

Michael.

Hey. Honey, are you all right?

Sure, Mama.

Oh, stop babifying him, I'm sure he's all right.

That's my son. Ain't got a mark on him.

I hate to see what that Eddie looks like now.

You can see for yourself, Dad.

I invited him to stay the weekend with us.

Come on in, Eddie.

Hey.

Hey, this don't look like a bad set-up to kill a weekend.

You got anything around here to eat, man?

Not for you, Jack.

You ain't gonna be here long enough to gum a grape.

Who's that old dude?

Who's that--? James, please!

This is my mother, my sister Thelma and my brother J.J.

And that's the door, use it.

Dad has a way of making people feel right at home.

And this is my father.

Hey, is this guy going to be here all weekend?

Sure he is.

You mean you got a live-in father?

That's right, and as long as I'm in, you out.

Man you didn't tell me about him.

That's right, keep walking while you still can, mister.

Wait a minute. Daddy, I asked him to come.

And I'm telling him to go. I don't need no hassle.

There won't be any, Eddie.

Nobody's going to hurt you, believe me.

Now why don't you go into our bedroom for a while.

James and I would like to discuss this.

Michael, show him the bedroom.

Okay. Come on, Eddie.

Florida, ain't no way in the world that boy

going to stay in here one more minute. He is going.

Maybe, James, but after we discuss it.

Michael, what you mean bringing that hoodlum in here?

Why didn't you punch his lights out like I told you to?

Daddy, I think I have a better idea.

Yeah, let me fight him. I'll rearrange his face.

Oh, no, J.J., he might end up looking like you.

Will you two stop that and let Michael finish?

Well, I got to thinking about Eddie.

He gets the lowest grades in the whole class,

the teacher makes fun of him and all the kids laugh at him.

Now that ought make anybody to feel bad,

so I told him I could help him pass his final test

if he could stay the weekend with us.

Oh, Michael, that's a wonderful idea.

Oh, Michael, that's a lousy idea.

Why, Daddy? Eddie's not a dumb kid,

if he'd just take the time to study,

he could pass the sixth grade.

Yeah, but, son, I don't understand,

why do you want to help somebody

that's ripping off your lunches?

Dad, the answer's obvious,

if Eddie goes into the seventh grade,

he'd be ripping off somebody else's lunch.

No, J.J., that's not it.

Daddy, I figure,

how can you steal from somebody who helps you?

Oh, Michael, I am proud of you.

James, he handled that like a man.

And he didn't have to use violence either.

Oh, Lord, I can appreciate all that,

but that boy didn't come here to study. That child is an animal.

That's right and I don't want him in the house.

Let his probation officer take him for the weekend.

He's just a little boy. We can keep an eye on him.

I'd like to put my hands on him.

Daddy, what harm can he do?

Thelma, I have seen kids like Eddie before

and they ain't no good.

James I have seen kids like Eddie too.

Now for some reason they fall behind in school

and things keep going from bad to worse

and before you know it they just give up on themselves.

Baby, what you want me to do about it?

Give him a chance, Daddy.

If we don't who will?

Now, if things keep going the way they are for him,

before he's 18 he's going to end up in jail

or dead on the street somewhere.

Come on, Dad, it's just for a weekend.

Yeah, Dad, don't worry about it. We can handle him.

Well, I don't like it.

James, if Michael is willing to help a kid

who has been bullying him,

the least we can do is let him try.

All right, Florida, all right.

Now he can stay for the weekend,

but I'm telling you if the boy causes any trouble

in this house, out!

I agree.

Probably in the bedroom right now

ripping off everything we own.

Oh, James.

Don't worry abut it, Dad,

if anything's missing I'll spot it in a second.

In ghetto detective circles

I'm known as the nappy Kojak.

Hey, I can't take it anymore in there.

Can't take what?

Man, what you looking at?

Oh, I get it. Okay, fellows you got me. Go ahead.

Frisk me, search me, come on!

Just jiving, Eddie, just jiving.

Should I, Dad?

Eddie, you're welcome to stay the weekend with us.

No more hassles from that undercover toothpick?

Who you calling toothpick, shorty?

You, you broomstick with teeth.

Now that's it, man. Get him, Dad.

Shut up, Junior.

Eddie, did you ask your mother if it's all right

for you to stay over the weekend?

No, she don't care.

I stay out for days sometimes if I want.

So does she.

Hey, Eddie, you can share the couch with J.J. and I.

What?

That's if you don't mind sleeping three in a bed.

Wow, in my house that's a room to my own.

We sleep six to a bed.

Hey, when do we eat?

Pretty soon. I hope you like what we're having for dinner.

Ain't no reason he shouldn't, he loves what we have for lunch.

Eddie is here to study now.

Right, Eddie?

Huh? Oh, yeah I'm thinking of letting Michael

show me some of them straight-A student tricks, yeah.

You got a real sharp crib here.

Boy, get your feet off that table.

Hey, Eddie, do you want to do some studying

before dinner man?

No, I think I'll just relax.

Come on, everybody. Dinner's ready.

Hey, all right.

No, no, no Eddie you sit over there.

Eddie, in this house we pray before we eat.

Go on.

Time for prayer, Edward.

Since you're the guest, Eddie, why don't you say the prayer?

Me, I don't know none. Besides, it's dumb.

We don't think so. It makes us feel good.

Besides, it's the only time of day that the whole family

shares the same thought.

Okay, Michael, would you like to say the blessing?

We thank the Lord for the food we're about to receive

and for all our blessings.

Bless those both near and far.

We thank thee for our home and for all the people

who are at the table tonight.

Amen. Amen.

Well, baby, you make the best chocolate cake

in the whole world.

Yeah, Mom, you should enter a Pillsbury bakeoff

and put it under the "Mm, mm, mm, good" category.

Thank you. Did everybody have enough?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

It was good. I'm about to bust.

I think even Eddie got enough,

compared to the way he ate the rest of his dinner.

He's just picking at the cake.

Do you have any more?

I'm sorry, Eddie, that's it.

How about another biscuit?

Oh, sure, help yourself.

Eddie, honey, you don't have to do that.

You can have as many as you want.

I'll leave them on the table if you want me to.

Come on, nobody's going to take it away from you.

Mama, may Eddie and I be excused from the table please?

Sure, honey.

Come on, Eddie. It's time to hit the books, man.

Okay, man.

Show me those straight-A student tricks to pass tests.

There are no tricks, man. You have to study.

You mean really study, Evans?

Sure.

Man, you're weird.

Come on man, let's start on page 73, chapter six.

Now...

Why don't you go on without me,

studying is for suckers anyway.

Hey, where you think you're going?

Hey, man, Mike's studying, and I don't want to bother him.

Well, you get back in there and finish, man.

You see, in this house people study when they're supposed to.

Good thing I'm not a member of this house.

Well, you are this weekend.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, you heard of the extended family?

Well, this weekend you part of one which gives me

a right to extend this belt to your behind if I feel like it.

Ho, ho, I'd like to see that.

Oh, you would, huh?

Well, anything to oblige a guest mister.

Man, you've got to be kidding, man.

Come on in here. You must be crazy.

I'm a man believe this! I'll make a believer out of you!

James. Huh?

You know the boy got it coming, now get your behind in here.

I hope your father doesn't go overboard.

Mama, you think Daddy really going to give Eddie a spanking?

Is a bean green?

Can James Brown get down?

Is your head dead?

[EDDIE SCREAMING]

[STRAP HITTING]

That sounded like a 6.5 on the Richter Scale.

Well, you know how your father

is about studying, he means business.

The question is, which beating did he get?

Well, as we all know, Dad has three in his repertoire.

The regular, the super, and the Big Mac.

The Big Mac is right. It can really warm your bun.

Did that make you feel good?

Didn't make me feel bad.

Nobody ever spanked me before.

Well, that's because we just met.

Somebody should've a long time ago.

I got news for you, I held back on you, mister.

If that's holding back, I hate to be around when you let go.

My own kids would have a gotten a lot worse.

They would?

You know it.

Well, one thing we know for sure,

he didn't get the Big Mac.

He's still walking.

Hey, Eddie, my father really laid it on you, huh?

Yeah, he laid it on.

I thought stuff like this only happened in the movies.

Are you kidding, man?

One time I didn't do my homework,

and my father did some homework on me.

I don't get him.

Ooh!

Looks like he got the Big Mac after all.

What you want, man, another piece of me?

Don't worry, I'm splitting.

You ain't got to go Eddie. You can stay if you want to.

Eddie, there's something you've go to understand.

Now, we discipline our kids because we love them.

If we didn't love them, we wouldn't take the time.

He don't love me.

How do you know?

Come on.

Loving is caring, Eddie.

You don't have to be a member of this family

for us to care about you.

That's right. My father could have thrown you out

a long time ago.

Sure could've.

How come you didn't?

You could save me from running out.

Well, Eddie, it might be because I do care a little.

You what?

I said it might because I do care a little.

I didn't know somebody could beat on you

and care at the same time.

Michael, what page did you say we was on again?

Seventy-three, chapter six, man.

* Just lookin' Out of the window *

* Watching The asphalt grow *

* Thinkin' how It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good Times Good Times *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

ANNOUNCER: Good Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

* Ain't we lucky We got 'em *

* Good Times *