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1
00:00:02,769 --> 00:00:03,870
* Good times *
2
00:00:03,903 --> 00:00:05,905
* Any time you meet a payment *
3
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,240
* Good times *
4
00:00:07,273 --> 00:00:09,442
* Any time you need a friend *
5
00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:10,677
* Good times *
6
00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:12,779
* Any timeYou're out from under *
7
00:00:12,812 --> 00:00:15,949
* Not gettin' hassledNot gettin' hustled *
8
00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:19,386
* Keepin' your headAbove water *
9
00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:22,355
* Makin' a wave when you can *
10
00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:25,392
* Temporary layoffsGood times *
11
00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:28,795
* Easy credit rip-offsGood times *
12
00:00:28,828 --> 00:00:32,165
* Scratchin' and survivin'Good times *
13
00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:36,302
* Hangin' in a chow lineGood times *
14
00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:38,905
* Ain't we lucky we got 'em? *
15
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:45,145
* Good times *
16
00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:54,821
Thelma, can you
button this, please?
17
00:00:54,854 --> 00:00:56,723
Okay.
18
00:00:56,756 --> 00:00:59,159
Stand still, Michael.
19
00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:00,160
There.
20
00:01:00,193 --> 00:01:01,161
Thank you.
21
00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:02,962
Oh!
22
00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:07,167
Hey, Thelma,
23
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:08,735
ain't breakfast
ready yet?
24
00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:11,071
Relax, Popsicle stick.
25
00:01:13,206 --> 00:01:14,908
Can't you see it's being made?
26
00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:18,078
Boy, things sure get done
a lot faster when Ma's around.
27
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,946
Well, I'm doing the best I can.
28
00:01:19,979 --> 00:01:22,082
Is it my fault
Ma had to leave town
29
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,183
all of the sudden?
30
00:01:23,216 --> 00:01:24,551
Boy, sending you in for Ma
31
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:29,089
is like sending in Tiny Tim
for Stevie Wonder.
32
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,957
J.J., why don't you stop
picking on Thelma?
33
00:01:30,990 --> 00:01:32,092
Thanks, Michael.
34
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,093
You're welcome,
35
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,362
but I agree with J.J.
36
00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:37,864
I'm so hungry
I can eat a horse.
37
00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:41,534
And whatever she cooks is going
to taste like one, anyway.
38
00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:44,604
Would you two stop
picking on me!
39
00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:47,307
Oh, Thelma,
40
00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:49,609
the coffee's
boiling over.
41
00:01:49,642 --> 00:01:51,544
Well, turn the flame down.
42
00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:53,113
Well, you're the woman
of the house,
43
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:54,280
you handle it.
44
00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:55,281
Look at that--
45
00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:57,117
You've got two bighead brothers
in here,
46
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,451
and nobody wants to help.
47
00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:00,320
That's because
we enjoy watching you
48
00:02:00,353 --> 00:02:03,223
in your misery.
49
00:02:03,256 --> 00:02:07,694
If you enjoy misery,
stand in front of a mirror.
50
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:12,966
You've got
some nerve,
51
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:14,167
you old
Frankenstein face!
52
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,969
Why don't you just stop
hassling me, okay?
53
00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:17,137
I don't want to hear--
54
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:18,405
All right, Junior, all right.
55
00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:19,773
That's enough, now.
Knock it off.
56
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,474
You see your sister
is having a hard time.
57
00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:22,809
My shirt ready yet, baby girl?
58
00:02:22,842 --> 00:02:25,245
Yeah, Daddy, I just finished it.
59
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,891
Daddy...
60
00:02:37,924 --> 00:02:39,959
I didn't realize I put
that much starch on it.
61
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,429
I'm sorry, Daddy.
I was trying so hard.
62
00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:43,730
Well, that's
all right, baby,
63
00:02:43,763 --> 00:02:45,598
I just have to carry
wide packages today,
64
00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:47,300
that's all.
65
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,202
I mean, after all, I am
the assistant foreman
66
00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:50,203
at Brady's.
67
00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:52,105
I can carry
anything I want to.
68
00:02:52,138 --> 00:02:54,341
I'm sorry, Daddy.
69
00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,513
Ma went to a funeral
in Cleveland,
70
00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:03,950
and we've got
the stiff right here.
71
00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:07,220
How would you like a stiff lip
with no starch in it.
72
00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:08,588
Thelma?
73
00:03:08,621 --> 00:03:09,689
Michael,
leave me alone.
74
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:10,924
I'm having
enough trouble.
75
00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:12,525
Daddy, can you tell
Thelma that the--
76
00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:14,661
Michael, you heard your sister,
leave her alone, son.
77
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:15,662
All right,
78
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:16,796
I just wanted
to tell her
79
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:17,931
that the oatmeal
is burning.
80
00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:19,599
Oh, no!
81
00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:20,734
Thelma,
82
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,502
are you sure you didn't do
the special effects
83
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:25,772
for Towering Inferno?
84
00:03:25,805 --> 00:03:29,442
Junior, how would you like me
to press your face?
85
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:32,712
Oh, Daddy,
86
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,381
I'm making a mess
of everything.
87
00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:35,849
No, you're not, baby girl.
88
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,318
I mean, everything considered,
you're doing a great job.
89
00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:40,920
Your mother
would be real proud of you.
90
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,122
Now, come on, y'all,
91
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:44,124
let's sit down and eat
this delicious breakfast
92
00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:45,125
Thelma has made for us.
93
00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:46,926
Yeah, go right on,
Michael.
94
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,128
Don't be pushing me, J.J.
95
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:49,129
All right, stop.
96
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:50,764
Come on in here.
97
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,969
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
98
00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:59,005
Maybe it's a reprieve
from the governor.
99
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,309
Hello?
100
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:04,577
Florida!
101
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:05,578
Mom!
All right!
102
00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:06,846
Hi, baby!
103
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,581
Well, we was hoping
we'd hear from you.
104
00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:10,383
Oh, yeah,
everything's fine here.
105
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,785
Uh-huh.
106
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:14,154
Yeah, your daughter's doing
a great job of taking over.
107
00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:15,455
Hmm.
108
00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:17,090
Yeah, just a minute, baby.
109
00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:19,125
Listen, your mother wants
to say hello to all of you,
110
00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:21,227
but make it quick now,
because it's long distance.
111
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,595
Hi, Mama,
I'm fine.
112
00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:24,364
Hi, Ma,
I'm fine too.
113
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:26,800
Ahem.
114
00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:29,569
Hello, mother dear,
115
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:31,638
this is your eldest son here.
116
00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:34,207
Let me give you a long list
of all the disasters going--
117
00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:38,378
Uh... yeah,
Junior's just jiving, baby.
118
00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:39,546
Everything here is fine.
119
00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:41,181
Just relax
and enjoy the funeral.
120
00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:43,083
Daddy!
121
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:46,152
I mean...
122
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:49,189
Have a nice time
with your Aunt Clara.
123
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:52,092
Oh, she's the one that died?
124
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:59,099
In that case, have a nice time
with your folks, baby.
125
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:01,534
Yeah, Florida,
I know it's a sad occasion,
126
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:04,170
but your aunt
did live a nice, long life.
127
00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:05,605
Huh?
128
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,907
Oh, baby,
my job at Brady's is going fine.
129
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,042
Couldn't be better.
130
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:12,245
And I'm doing great
at my movie ushering job.
131
00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:14,714
Look, Florida, everything here
is under control.
132
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:16,216
Ain't no sense
in you rushing back.
133
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:17,817
Yeah, but I wish
you'd get here
134
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,285
by dinnertime.
135
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,354
Nothing important, baby,
136
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:23,957
just Junior
fat-mouthing as usual.
137
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,192
Yeah, well,
we all miss you.
138
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:28,061
We love you...
139
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,662
especially me.
140
00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:31,431
All right.
Bye, baby.
141
00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:33,600
Bye, Ma!
142
00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:35,869
Junior, your membership
in this family
143
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:38,972
is hanging by
a very slender thread.
144
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:40,674
I'm about to put
your birth certificate
145
00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:42,075
in escrow.
146
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:46,079
Now, go ahead
and eat some food.
147
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:49,482
Boy, this... looks delicious.
148
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:50,850
Not too burned?
149
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:53,219
No, baby girl...
150
00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:55,355
not at all.
151
00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:57,824
Can't hardly wait to eat it,
can you, Junior?
152
00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:05,732
Looks delicious.
153
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:06,733
Uh-oh.
154
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:07,734
Well, I've been sitting here
155
00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:09,169
fat-mouthing with you kids
so much,
156
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,737
I've made myself late for work.
157
00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:12,439
But, Dad, what about
your breakfast?
158
00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:15,041
Well, good as it looks, Thelma,
I'm going to have to skip it.
159
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,877
I've got to get dressed,
but y'all eat it all up, hear?
160
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,479
It'll help you grow up
big and strong.
161
00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:23,283
Then how come
you don't eat it, Dad?
162
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:27,821
Because I'm already grown,
and shut up.
163
00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:30,056
Oh, Dad,
don't forget about the shirt.
164
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,057
Oh, yeah,
165
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,593
I don't want to forget that.
166
00:06:33,626 --> 00:06:34,694
It'll be all right
167
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,664
once I hammer down
these sleeves.
168
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:54,080
Mm-mm-mm.
169
00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:57,951
Thelma, I hate to be picky,
170
00:06:57,984 --> 00:07:00,153
but there's one thing
that I hate,
171
00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:03,089
and that's an unfluffed pillow.
172
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,858
Well,
the pillow between your ears
173
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:07,460
ain't fluffed too tough either.
174
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:09,462
You've got some nerve
talking about pillows--
175
00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:12,365
Look, J.J., I'm tired
of you criticizing me.
176
00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:13,533
[SHOUTING]
177
00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:15,368
All right, all right, y'all,
please, stop it.
178
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:16,503
If there was ever a time
179
00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:18,038
I wasn't in the mood
for hassling,
180
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:19,039
it's right now.
181
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:21,508
Oh, Dad, you're home.
182
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,477
No, I ain't home, fool,
183
00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:27,714
I'm sunning on the beach
in Acapulco.
184
00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:29,649
What I mean is that
you're home early.
185
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,851
Yeah, I'm home early, Junior,
so what?
186
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,219
Something wrong, Daddy?
187
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:34,587
No, ain't
nothing wrong,
188
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,523
except you heard
the latest unemployment figure
189
00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:37,657
is 8.3?
190
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,559
Well, you can add me
to the statistics--
191
00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:40,560
I just got laid off.
192
00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:41,561
Not you, Daddy,
193
00:07:41,594 --> 00:07:42,829
you're
assistant-foreman.
194
00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:44,764
Yeah, and the foreman's
going to be standing
195
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,499
in front of me at
the unemployment office.
196
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,303
Seems like things slowed down
at the plant,
197
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:51,771
so Brady put a bunch of us
198
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,573
on what they call
"temporary layoff."
199
00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:54,941
Well, Daddy,
that's not so bad.
200
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,376
It's just temporary.
201
00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:58,878
Baby girl, if there's one thing
I've come to find out in life
202
00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:00,580
is permanent,
it's a temporary layoff.
203
00:08:00,613 --> 00:08:02,382
The president
204
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,384
said that the economy's
going to turn around.
205
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:05,919
Yeah,
I'd like to turn it around,
206
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,021
bend it over,
and give it a swift kick.
207
00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:09,756
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
208
00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:11,424
Hey, one of y'all
answer that, please.
209
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:13,026
If it's your mother,
210
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,028
I don't know how I'm going
to tell her about this.
211
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:17,030
I'll handle this.
212
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:23,103
Hello.
213
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:26,072
Evans house of happiness.
214
00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:29,642
Oh, hello, Mr. Carter.
215
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,612
Yeah, sure,
I can be in early today.
216
00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:34,881
No, no problem at all.
217
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,616
Okay, bye.
218
00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:39,252
Well, Dad,
219
00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:40,854
you look like
a black cloud...
220
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:44,791
So I'm here to bring you
the silver lining.
221
00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:46,493
That was my boss
from the movie theater.
222
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:47,961
He wants me to come in
early today.
223
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,162
So what?
224
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,531
I'll be taking up the financial
slack in the family.
225
00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:53,066
Junior, what are you
talking about?
226
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:54,901
Well, Dad, like I told y'all,
227
00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:56,903
I've been doing great
at my movie ushering job,
228
00:08:56,936 --> 00:08:59,105
and the reason he wants me
to come in early today
229
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:01,508
has got to be
to give me a promotion.
230
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:06,880
He wants to make me
the head "ush."
231
00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:08,148
What makes you so sure?
232
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:10,283
Because whenever there's
a delicate situation,
233
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:11,785
he always calls on me
to handle it.
234
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:13,019
Like last week,
235
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,754
we had this little problem
up in the balcony.
236
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,423
You know, this couple
was getting too cozy,
237
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:17,691
hugging and stuff like that,
238
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:20,026
but I handled it diplomatically.
239
00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:21,327
Well, what
did you do?
240
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:24,164
I threw both those guys out.
241
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:33,039
He probably wants to make me
head of the candy concession.
242
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:34,374
That means a raise
243
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,677
and all of the Milky Ways
I can eat.
244
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:41,581
With those teeth,
you can cost them a fortune.
245
00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:42,916
Hey, wait a minute.
246
00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:45,452
It's probably something
even more bigger than that.
247
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:48,054
Mr. Carter's
probably going to retire.
248
00:09:48,054 --> 00:09:51,825
He probably wants to make me
the manager.
249
00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:56,930
Imagine me, Brother J.J.,
250
00:09:56,963 --> 00:10:00,333
manager
of the Lakeshore Theater.
251
00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:05,538
I've been your cashier
for 18 years, Mr. Carter.
252
00:10:05,572 --> 00:10:07,307
I didn't think
the Lakeshore Theater
253
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:08,775
would ever close.
254
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:10,877
Neither did I, Edna,
neither did I.
255
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:12,178
But why?
256
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,413
Why?
257
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,415
Because the last 10 pictures
we showed
258
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,818
had more people in the cast
than we had in the audience.
259
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:24,324
My mother told me
not to go into show business.
260
00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:29,662
Hey, Edna, don't cry.
261
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:33,967
When I take over as boss,
I'll be a great boss.
262
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:43,243
Well, Mr. Carter,
all set for our big conference?
263
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:44,577
Should I cut off the phones?
264
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,813
It's already been taken care of.
265
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:51,618
Good thinking, Mr. Carter,
good thinking.
266
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:52,819
Mr. Carter, you know,
267
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:55,088
I appreciate this confidence
you have in me,
268
00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:56,356
and rest assured,
269
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:58,158
whatever it is
you want me to do,
270
00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:00,293
I'm willing to go all out.
271
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,328
You certainly will.
272
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,200
I like you, J.J.
273
00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:09,302
And I like you too.
274
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,871
Now, listen, J.J.,
starting today,
275
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:14,507
there'll be a new sign
on the marquee--
276
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:17,711
"Closed Permanently."
277
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:19,813
Oh, a new
disaster film?
278
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:20,947
Who's in it?
279
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:22,182
You.
280
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,754
Try to cheer up, Daddy.
281
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,689
Yeah, Daddy, things
are not that bad.
282
00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:30,924
J.J.'s getting a raise,
283
00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:32,726
and I can get a few more
babysitting jobs.
284
00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:34,361
Yeah, and I can earn
my lunch money
285
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,229
by picking up
empty deposit bottles.
286
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:38,331
Hey, now, listen, both of you.
287
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,400
I appreciate
what you kids are trying to do,
288
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,369
but there's one thing
I want you to remember--
289
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:43,937
I'm the breadwinner
in this family.
290
00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:45,538
Going to be anybody
slicing the loaf,
291
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,107
it's going to be me, hear?
292
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:48,975
Hey, gang.
293
00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:51,244
Well, just as I promised y'all,
294
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:52,779
the financial hole
in this family
295
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:53,947
has been plugged.
296
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,181
You got a raise?
297
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,217
No, I got fired...
298
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:00,653
But I've got
something better.
299
00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,055
Our money problems
are over.
300
00:12:02,088 --> 00:12:04,124
Junior,
you ain't making no sense.
301
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:05,725
I am making sense.
302
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,327
Family, are y'all
ready for this?
303
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,361
I,
304
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,896
James Evans Junior,
305
00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:13,066
have enlisted
in the United States Army.
306
00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:26,579
You did what?
307
00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:28,148
I enlisted
in the Army, Dad.
308
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:29,382
Junior, I ain't in the mood
309
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:30,717
for none of
your jokes now.
310
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,085
But I ain't joking, Dad.
311
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,553
I'm all signed up
and everything.
312
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,355
Daddy, he's serious.
313
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:36,890
Junior, are you crazy?
314
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,692
Boy, what you going to do
in the Army?
315
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:41,861
You're scared
of your own shadow.
316
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:44,631
What little
there is of it.
317
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:47,100
J.J., what outfit
they going to put you in,
318
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,369
the "Lean Berets"?
319
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,438
Go ahead, make fun,
little sister,
320
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:53,340
but I'll have you know
I'm a natural soldier,
321
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:55,542
born with a military mind.
322
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:57,644
Yeah, you've got
a military mind, all right.
323
00:12:57,677 --> 00:13:02,916
Them naps is marching
in close order drill.
324
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,317
Your brain is AWOL.
325
00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:05,318
But, Dad...
326
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:06,453
Don't "But, Dad" me.
327
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,355
Boy, you ain't going
into the Army.
328
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:09,622
You ain't nothing but a kid.
329
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,591
But, Dad,
the Army builds men.
330
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:12,759
Yeah, but first,
331
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:16,196
you've got to bring them
all the parts.
332
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:18,698
Dad, the Army
will snap me right up,
333
00:13:18,732 --> 00:13:20,867
especially when they hear
about my combat record.
334
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:22,369
What combat record?
335
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:25,338
I'll have you know I've seen
every John Wayne war movie
336
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:26,806
ever made.
337
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,709
Going in
as a hero, huh?
338
00:13:29,743 --> 00:13:31,878
No, I'm willing
to work my way up.
339
00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:36,282
I'll start off
as G.I. J.J., PFC.
340
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:39,352
* M-O-U-S-E *
341
00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:45,558
This Army stuff
ain't no game, boy.
342
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:46,726
This is
serious business,
343
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,094
and you ain't ready
for it yet.
344
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,363
But, Dad, you went
into the Army at my age.
345
00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:51,865
Yeah, well, see,
346
00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:53,466
I got an invitation
to the Korean War.
347
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,769
In them days, Uncle Sam
wasn't taking no for an answer.
348
00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:58,905
And, J.J., you've never been
away from home before.
349
00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:00,373
That's the good part.
350
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:02,142
I get a chance to see the world
for free.
351
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,878
Chicks in every country
will stay up all night
352
00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:09,315
just to get a touch
of Kid Dy-no-mite...
353
00:14:12,786 --> 00:14:14,521
And, Dad, in the new Army,
354
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,322
they let you choose
where you want to go.
355
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,525
Yeah, and you know
what your choice is going to be?
356
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:20,060
Death Valley or Iceland.
357
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:23,663
Well, I hear that Iceland
is kind of nice in the spring.
358
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:26,366
Yeah, if you're a snowball,
which you ain't.
359
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:28,234
Now, Junior, you ain't going
into the Army,
360
00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:29,536
and that's all
there is to it.
361
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,805
You couldn't even make it
through basic training, boy.
362
00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:33,273
You ain't never had it
that tough.
363
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:34,574
Couldn't be any tougher
364
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,109
than living
in this neighborhood.
365
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:37,744
No? Well, when's
the last time
366
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:39,112
you went
on a 10-mile hike?
367
00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:42,315
The last time
the elevator broke down.
368
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:43,717
How about crawling
on your belly
369
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:45,585
with live ammunition
flying over your head?
370
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,087
Do it every Wednesday--
371
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:48,421
only way to get
home from school
372
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:50,190
after the Warlords
and the Saint Knights
373
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,325
get down.
374
00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:55,528
Junior, how about
not seeing a girl
375
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,598
for 12 whole weeks, huh?
376
00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:01,501
Oh, no!
377
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,570
Oh, yeah.
378
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:06,072
That's cruel
and inhumane punishment,
379
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:07,507
but I guess the chicks
380
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,409
will just have to make
the sacrifice.
381
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,647
Junior,
you ain't going into the Army,
382
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,049
and that's all there is to it,
383
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,450
so you might as well
forget that.
384
00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:18,752
Wait a minute now, Dad.
385
00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:20,587
I've never disobeyed you,
386
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,489
but the Army says
I'm old enough.
387
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:24,357
I don't need
your permission.
388
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:25,759
Now, wait a minute,
son, hold it.
389
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:27,160
Your mother
ain't here, Junior.
390
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:28,928
How you going to make a
decision like that
391
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,163
without her being here?
392
00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:31,197
Good thing she's not.
393
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:32,832
She probably
would try to stop me.
394
00:15:32,866 --> 00:15:34,067
Then why
you doing it, son?
395
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,970
Well, Dad,
somebody's got to do something.
396
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,405
I mean, things are tough.
397
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:41,441
In the Army,
I'll be making $344 a month,
398
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:42,809
plus room and board.
399
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:44,077
I could send that home,
400
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:47,480
and that would be
one less mouth for you to feed.
401
00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:49,916
I just stopped by to let y'all
know what I was doing,
402
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,918
and tell y'all
the good news.
403
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,688
Well, I'm going down
to take my physical.
404
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:56,189
Junior!
405
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:58,158
I'm sorry, Dad.
406
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,629
He's joining up
because I lost my job.
407
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:03,897
Daddy, he didn't say that.
408
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:05,131
He ain't got to,
baby girl.
409
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,332
I mean,
I know the truth.
410
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:07,334
Oh, Daddy,
411
00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:08,435
you know
we love you.
412
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,270
Yeah, Daddy,
it's not your fault.
413
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,072
It happens to people all over.
414
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:15,241
You said yourself
the unemployment figure was 8.3.
415
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:18,411
Well, I bet among black men,
it's over 20%.
416
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:21,815
For black men in this house,
it's 100%.
417
00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:24,384
Boy, the economy's
got me jammed in the middle.
418
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,885
It's causing my family
to break up,
419
00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:28,121
and there ain't a damn thing
I can do about it.
420
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,123
Come on, Daddy,
stop worrying.
421
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,691
Let me fix you
something to eat.
422
00:16:31,725 --> 00:16:32,692
Please,
Thelma...
423
00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:41,101
Daddy feels bad enough
as it is already.
424
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:44,704
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
425
00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:45,805
Don't answer it.
426
00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:47,507
It's probably
just some more bad news.
427
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,075
Hello?
428
00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:51,444
Yes, just a minute.
429
00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:53,313
Daddy, it's for you.
It's Brady's.
430
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,347
Brady's--
431
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,249
them jive-time rascals--
432
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:59,853
probably want their paycheck
back from last week.
433
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:01,588
Yeah?
434
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,090
What?
435
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:06,359
Oh, man, you jiving?
436
00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:08,695
Well, all right!
437
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,397
Got my job back.
I'm working again.
438
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:11,564
Daddy, that's great!
439
00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:13,366
Yeah, it seems like
the personnel manager
440
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:14,634
made a mistake.
441
00:17:14,668 --> 00:17:17,037
I never got laid off
in the first place.
442
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:18,271
Look here, Lord,
443
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:20,306
I want to thank you
for helping me out.
444
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:22,475
Now, don't y'all
tell your mother I said that.
445
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:25,578
She'll be wanting to drag me
to church every Sunday.
446
00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:27,047
Oh, Lord,
I've got to stop Junior
447
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:28,815
before he takes that physical.
448
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,684
Daddy, how can you?
It's too late.
449
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,085
Not if he didn't
get sworn in yet.
450
00:17:32,118 --> 00:17:34,087
You ain't in the Army
until you raise your right hand
451
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:35,088
and take that oath.
452
00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:36,589
I'll see y'all.
453
00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:37,590
Hey, wait a minute.
454
00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:38,591
What induction center
455
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:39,693
did he say
he was going to?
456
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,528
Um... he didn't say.
457
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,463
I'll find it.
I've got to find it!
458
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,635
All right,
send in the next group.
459
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,379
Line up over there,
men, and shout off.
460
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,380
One.
461
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:01,381
Two.
462
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:02,382
Three.
463
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,450
Four...
464
00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:06,152
And one more makes five.
465
00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:11,791
Good God.
466
00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:16,463
Evans?
467
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,365
Yes, sir!
468
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:19,899
Step back in line,
469
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:23,036
and take
that hat off.
470
00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:24,037
Uh...
471
00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:25,038
Yeah?
472
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:27,807
Don't I get a hatcheck claim?
473
00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:30,043
James Evans Junior?
474
00:18:30,043 --> 00:18:31,044
Yes, sir!
475
00:18:31,044 --> 00:18:32,245
Come on in, please.
476
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,689
Hey, doc,
what you doing?
477
00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:45,058
I'm going to look
in your mouth.
478
00:18:45,058 --> 00:18:47,060
Then why did I
take off my clothes?
479
00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:49,195
Come on,
up on the table.
480
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:51,698
All right, Evans,
481
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,299
open your mouth
and say, "Ah."
482
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:55,068
Couldn't we talk this over?
483
00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:56,202
Come on.
484
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:57,404
Is it going to hurt?
485
00:18:57,437 --> 00:19:00,206
Well, if you don't
open up, it will.
486
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:10,050
I see you still have
your tonsils...
487
00:19:10,083 --> 00:19:11,651
and a lot of teeth.
488
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:16,456
And that's the way
I plan on keeping it.
489
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:17,791
All right.
490
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,392
Read the bottom line
on that eye chart
491
00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:20,360
over there.
492
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,702
"Made in Japan."
493
00:19:31,104 --> 00:19:32,572
Well, if you can
read that one,
494
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,441
I guess you can
read the others.
495
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,876
Come on, up against the wall.
496
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:39,079
I have to get a chest X-ray.
497
00:19:39,112 --> 00:19:41,581
Well, I know
that can't hurt.
498
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,618
Now, face
the wall, Evans.
499
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:52,692
Here we go.
500
00:19:52,726 --> 00:19:53,693
All right.
501
00:19:57,964 --> 00:20:00,667
I can't find your chest.
502
00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:06,973
Huh. Oh, there it is.
503
00:20:07,007 --> 00:20:08,308
All right.
504
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:10,377
Take a deep breath
and count three.
505
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:12,645
[BUZZ]
506
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:14,347
All right.
507
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:20,653
I'm supposed to get one
sideways too,
508
00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:23,623
but you haven't got
a sideways.
509
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:27,794
Back up on the table.
510
00:20:29,129 --> 00:20:31,564
Now what are
we going to do, doc?
511
00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:34,134
Just relax, Evans.
512
00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:36,536
What's that for?
513
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,171
I have to take
some blood.
514
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:39,172
From who?
515
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:42,976
Well, I'd like
to have it from you.
516
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:45,845
I'd like to have
a second opinion.
517
00:20:45,879 --> 00:20:50,083
Uh... couldn't we wait
till I cut myself shaving?
518
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,851
Evans.
519
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:02,162
That was just
the alcohol.
520
00:21:05,165 --> 00:21:08,068
That cotton's a killer.
521
00:21:16,643 --> 00:21:17,977
There.
522
00:21:18,078 --> 00:21:21,314
Now, just one little heart test,
and you're all finished.
523
00:21:26,986 --> 00:21:29,422
All right, come over here.
524
00:21:31,391 --> 00:21:35,628
Now, just run up and down
those steps as fast as you can,
525
00:21:35,662 --> 00:21:37,997
and keep running up and down
as fast as you can
526
00:21:38,098 --> 00:21:40,400
until I tell you to stop.
527
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:42,102
All right, ready?
528
00:21:42,102 --> 00:21:43,837
Go.
529
00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:51,878
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
530
00:21:57,117 --> 00:21:59,452
Major Bullock here.
531
00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:03,356
Oh, what is it, dear?
I'm kind of busy right now.
532
00:22:03,390 --> 00:22:05,658
Oh, really?
533
00:22:05,692 --> 00:22:06,960
Tonight?
534
00:22:07,060 --> 00:22:09,295
Oh, that's great.
535
00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:12,532
When did they get in?
I haven't seen old Bob in years.
536
00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:15,502
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
537
00:22:15,535 --> 00:22:16,603
Well, then,
538
00:22:16,636 --> 00:22:20,473
he can sleep
in our room.
539
00:22:20,507 --> 00:22:23,376
Okay, okay.
540
00:22:23,410 --> 00:22:25,445
Gee.
541
00:22:27,947 --> 00:22:30,250
No, no, no.
542
00:22:30,283 --> 00:22:31,918
I'll stop at the store
on the way home
543
00:22:31,951 --> 00:22:33,086
and pick up something.
544
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:34,521
How are we for scotch?
545
00:22:34,554 --> 00:22:36,289
Good, good.
546
00:22:36,322 --> 00:22:37,490
Unless old Bob
has changed,
547
00:22:37,524 --> 00:22:39,492
we're going to need
plenty of it.
548
00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:40,660
Oh, boy.
549
00:22:40,694 --> 00:22:44,264
Gee, it's been
five years at least.
550
00:22:44,297 --> 00:22:46,232
Well, dear, I know
it's been that long,
551
00:22:46,266 --> 00:22:47,634
because the last time
we saw them
552
00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:49,336
was right before
your operation,
553
00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:53,273
so don't tell me
when it was.
554
00:22:53,306 --> 00:22:54,374
I know it
perfectly well.
555
00:22:54,407 --> 00:22:56,876
It was five years ago.
556
00:22:58,111 --> 00:23:00,046
No, no, no, dear,
557
00:23:00,046 --> 00:23:02,048
that was
Ellen's tonsils,
558
00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:03,183
and the year
before that,
559
00:23:03,216 --> 00:23:05,518
it was Jimmy's
wisdom teeth.
560
00:23:05,552 --> 00:23:09,422
Well, I'm telling you.
It was five years ago.
561
00:23:09,456 --> 00:23:11,157
I ought to know,
I'm a doctor.
562
00:23:11,191 --> 00:23:12,158
Sergeant,
563
00:23:12,192 --> 00:23:13,360
I've got to
talk to you.
564
00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:14,861
Man, I just hope
I ain't too late.
565
00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:15,962
No, take
your clothes off
566
00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:17,364
and have a seat.
567
00:23:17,397 --> 00:23:18,965
Do I look like I'm here
for a physical?
568
00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:21,201
Nothing surprises me
in the new Army.
569
00:23:21,234 --> 00:23:23,203
You should see the kid
we've got in there now.
570
00:23:23,236 --> 00:23:25,905
I've been to three induction
centers looking for my kid.
571
00:23:25,939 --> 00:23:27,974
I've got to stop him
before he takes the oath.
572
00:23:28,074 --> 00:23:31,644
Patty, that was
Grandma's operation!
573
00:23:31,678 --> 00:23:33,513
Goodbye.
574
00:23:35,982 --> 00:23:39,252
You can--
You can sit down now.
575
00:23:39,285 --> 00:23:42,689
No, no, not there,
over on the table.
576
00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:46,926
Hey, that's his hat.
Is he in there?
577
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:47,927
Yes.
578
00:23:47,961 --> 00:23:49,396
But you can't go
in there.
579
00:23:49,429 --> 00:23:51,297
The hell I can't.
580
00:23:51,331 --> 00:23:52,766
Junior?
581
00:23:52,799 --> 00:23:53,767
Junior?
582
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:54,901
Speak to me, Junior.
583
00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:57,203
Please, I can't hear
this man's heart.
584
00:23:57,237 --> 00:24:00,740
That's because
it's stopped beating.
585
00:24:00,774 --> 00:24:02,776
Junior, I got my job back.
I'm working again.
586
00:24:02,809 --> 00:24:04,277
You ain't got
to join up.
587
00:24:04,310 --> 00:24:05,612
Would you mind repeating that?
588
00:24:05,645 --> 00:24:06,946
I said I got
my job back, son.
589
00:24:07,047 --> 00:24:07,947
I'm working again.
590
00:24:08,048 --> 00:24:09,249
Everything's
going to be fine.
591
00:24:09,282 --> 00:24:10,650
You ain't got
to join the Army.
592
00:24:10,684 --> 00:24:11,651
Honest?
593
00:24:11,685 --> 00:24:13,586
Honest.
594
00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:15,689
Now, hear this--
595
00:24:15,722 --> 00:24:19,192
I hereby de-enlist.
596
00:24:19,225 --> 00:24:20,960
Alrighty.
597
00:24:38,378 --> 00:24:40,313
* Just lookin'Out of the window *
598
00:24:40,347 --> 00:24:43,950
* Watching the asphalt grow *
599
00:24:43,983 --> 00:24:48,088
* Thinkin' howIt all looks hand-me-down *
600
00:24:48,088 --> 00:24:50,423
* Good timesGood times *
601
00:24:50,457 --> 00:24:53,793
* Keepin' your headAbove water *
602
00:24:53,827 --> 00:24:56,629
* Makin' a waveWhen you can *
603
00:24:56,663 --> 00:24:59,733
* Temporary layoffsGood times *
604
00:24:59,766 --> 00:25:01,935
ANNOUNCER:
Good Times is recordedon tape
605
00:25:02,035 --> 00:25:03,937
before a live audience.
606
00:25:04,037 --> 00:25:06,740
* Ain't we lucky we got 'em *
607
00:25:08,408 --> 00:25:12,445
* Good times *
41891
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