Original subtitles

* Good times *

* Any time you meet a payment *

* Good times *

* Any time you need a friend *

* Good times *

* Any time You're out from under *

* Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs Good times *

* Easy credit rip-offs Good times *

* Scratchin' and survivin' Good times *

* Hangin' in a chow line Good times *

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em? *

* Good times *

Thelma, can you button this, please?

Okay.

Stand still, Michael.

There.

Thank you.

Oh!

Hey, Thelma,

ain't breakfast ready yet?

Relax, Popsicle stick.

Can't you see it's being made?

Boy, things sure get done a lot faster when Ma's around.

Well, I'm doing the best I can.

Is it my fault Ma had to leave town

all of the sudden?

Boy, sending you in for Ma

is like sending in Tiny Tim for Stevie Wonder.

J.J., why don't you stop picking on Thelma?

Thanks, Michael.

You're welcome,

but I agree with J.J.

I'm so hungry I can eat a horse.

And whatever she cooks is going to taste like one, anyway.

Would you two stop picking on me!

Oh, Thelma,

the coffee's boiling over.

Well, turn the flame down.

Well, you're the woman of the house,

you handle it.

Look at that--

You've got two bighead brothers in here,

and nobody wants to help.

That's because we enjoy watching you

in your misery.

If you enjoy misery, stand in front of a mirror.

You've got some nerve,

you old Frankenstein face!

Why don't you just stop hassling me, okay?

I don't want to hear--

All right, Junior, all right.

That's enough, now. Knock it off.

You see your sister is having a hard time.

My shirt ready yet, baby girl?

Yeah, Daddy, I just finished it.

Daddy...

I didn't realize I put that much starch on it.

I'm sorry, Daddy. I was trying so hard.

Well, that's all right, baby,

I just have to carry wide packages today,

that's all.

I mean, after all, I am the assistant foreman

at Brady's.

I can carry anything I want to.

I'm sorry, Daddy.

Ma went to a funeral in Cleveland,

and we've got the stiff right here.

How would you like a stiff lip with no starch in it.

Thelma?

Michael, leave me alone.

I'm having enough trouble.

Daddy, can you tell Thelma that the--

Michael, you heard your sister, leave her alone, son.

All right,

I just wanted to tell her

that the oatmeal is burning.

Oh, no!

Thelma,

are you sure you didn't do the special effects

for Towering Inferno?

Junior, how would you like me to press your face?

Oh, Daddy,

I'm making a mess of everything.

No, you're not, baby girl.

I mean, everything considered, you're doing a great job.

Your mother would be real proud of you.

Now, come on, y'all,

let's sit down and eat this delicious breakfast

Thelma has made for us.

Yeah, go right on, Michael.

Don't be pushing me, J.J.

All right, stop.

Come on in here.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Maybe it's a reprieve from the governor.

Hello?

Florida!

Mom! All right!

Hi, baby!

Well, we was hoping we'd hear from you.

Oh, yeah, everything's fine here.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, your daughter's doing a great job of taking over.

Hmm.

Yeah, just a minute, baby.

Listen, your mother wants to say hello to all of you,

but make it quick now, because it's long distance.

Hi, Mama, I'm fine.

Hi, Ma, I'm fine too.

Ahem.

Hello, mother dear,

this is your eldest son here.

Let me give you a long list of all the disasters going--

Uh... yeah, Junior's just jiving, baby.

Everything here is fine.

Just relax and enjoy the funeral.

Daddy!

I mean...

Have a nice time with your Aunt Clara.

Oh, she's the one that died?

In that case, have a nice time with your folks, baby.

Yeah, Florida, I know it's a sad occasion,

but your aunt did live a nice, long life.

Huh?

Oh, baby, my job at Brady's is going fine.

Couldn't be better.

And I'm doing great at my movie ushering job.

Look, Florida, everything here is under control.

Ain't no sense in you rushing back.

Yeah, but I wish you'd get here

by dinnertime.

Nothing important, baby,

just Junior fat-mouthing as usual.

Yeah, well, we all miss you.

We love you...

especially me.

All right. Bye, baby.

Bye, Ma!

Junior, your membership in this family

is hanging by a very slender thread.

I'm about to put your birth certificate

in escrow.

Now, go ahead and eat some food.

Boy, this... looks delicious.

Not too burned?

No, baby girl...

not at all.

Can't hardly wait to eat it, can you, Junior?

Looks delicious.

Uh-oh.

Well, I've been sitting here

fat-mouthing with you kids so much,

I've made myself late for work.

But, Dad, what about your breakfast?

Well, good as it looks, Thelma, I'm going to have to skip it.

I've got to get dressed, but y'all eat it all up, hear?

It'll help you grow up big and strong.

Then how come you don't eat it, Dad?

Because I'm already grown, and shut up.

Oh, Dad, don't forget about the shirt.

Oh, yeah,

I don't want to forget that.

It'll be all right

once I hammer down these sleeves.

Mm-mm-mm.

Thelma, I hate to be picky,

but there's one thing that I hate,

and that's an unfluffed pillow.

Well, the pillow between your ears

ain't fluffed too tough either.

You've got some nerve talking about pillows--

Look, J.J., I'm tired of you criticizing me.

[SHOUTING]

All right, all right, y'all, please, stop it.

If there was ever a time

I wasn't in the mood for hassling,

it's right now.

Oh, Dad, you're home.

No, I ain't home, fool,

I'm sunning on the beach in Acapulco.

What I mean is that you're home early.

Yeah, I'm home early, Junior, so what?

Something wrong, Daddy?

No, ain't nothing wrong,

except you heard the latest unemployment figure

is 8.3?

Well, you can add me to the statistics--

I just got laid off.

Not you, Daddy,

you're assistant-foreman.

Yeah, and the foreman's going to be standing

in front of me at the unemployment office.

Seems like things slowed down at the plant,

so Brady put a bunch of us

on what they call "temporary layoff."

Well, Daddy, that's not so bad.

It's just temporary.

Baby girl, if there's one thing I've come to find out in life

is permanent, it's a temporary layoff.

The president

said that the economy's going to turn around.

Yeah, I'd like to turn it around,

bend it over, and give it a swift kick.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Hey, one of y'all answer that, please.

If it's your mother,

I don't know how I'm going to tell her about this.

I'll handle this.

Hello.

Evans house of happiness.

Oh, hello, Mr. Carter.

Yeah, sure, I can be in early today.

No, no problem at all.

Okay, bye.

Well, Dad,

you look like a black cloud...

So I'm here to bring you the silver lining.

That was my boss from the movie theater.

He wants me to come in early today.

So what?

I'll be taking up the financial slack in the family.

Junior, what are you talking about?

Well, Dad, like I told y'all,

I've been doing great at my movie ushering job,

and the reason he wants me to come in early today

has got to be to give me a promotion.

He wants to make me the head "ush."

What makes you so sure?

Because whenever there's a delicate situation,

he always calls on me to handle it.

Like last week,

we had this little problem up in the balcony.

You know, this couple was getting too cozy,

hugging and stuff like that,

but I handled it diplomatically.

Well, what did you do?

I threw both those guys out.

He probably wants to make me head of the candy concession.

That means a raise

and all of the Milky Ways I can eat.

With those teeth, you can cost them a fortune.

Hey, wait a minute.

It's probably something even more bigger than that.

Mr. Carter's probably going to retire.

He probably wants to make me the manager.

Imagine me, Brother J.J.,

manager of the Lakeshore Theater.

I've been your cashier for 18 years, Mr. Carter.

I didn't think the Lakeshore Theater

would ever close.

Neither did I, Edna, neither did I.

But why?

Why?

Because the last 10 pictures we showed

had more people in the cast than we had in the audience.

My mother told me not to go into show business.

Hey, Edna, don't cry.

When I take over as boss, I'll be a great boss.

Well, Mr. Carter, all set for our big conference?

Should I cut off the phones?

It's already been taken care of.

Good thinking, Mr. Carter, good thinking.

Mr. Carter, you know,

I appreciate this confidence you have in me,

and rest assured,

whatever it is you want me to do,

I'm willing to go all out.

You certainly will.

I like you, J.J.

And I like you too.

Now, listen, J.J., starting today,

there'll be a new sign on the marquee--

"Closed Permanently."

Oh, a new disaster film?

Who's in it?

You.

Try to cheer up, Daddy.

Yeah, Daddy, things are not that bad.

J.J.'s getting a raise,

and I can get a few more babysitting jobs.

Yeah, and I can earn my lunch money

by picking up empty deposit bottles.

Hey, now, listen, both of you.

I appreciate what you kids are trying to do,

but there's one thing I want you to remember--

I'm the breadwinner in this family.

Going to be anybody slicing the loaf,

it's going to be me, hear?

Hey, gang.

Well, just as I promised y'all,

the financial hole in this family

has been plugged.

You got a raise?

No, I got fired...

But I've got something better.

Our money problems are over.

Junior, you ain't making no sense.

I am making sense.

Family, are y'all ready for this?

I,

James Evans Junior,

have enlisted in the United States Army.

You did what?

I enlisted in the Army, Dad.

Junior, I ain't in the mood

for none of your jokes now.

But I ain't joking, Dad.

I'm all signed up and everything.

Daddy, he's serious.

Junior, are you crazy?

Boy, what you going to do in the Army?

You're scared of your own shadow.

What little there is of it.

J.J., what outfit they going to put you in,

the "Lean Berets"?

Go ahead, make fun, little sister,

but I'll have you know I'm a natural soldier,

born with a military mind.

Yeah, you've got a military mind, all right.

Them naps is marching in close order drill.

Your brain is AWOL.

But, Dad...

Don't "But, Dad" me.

Boy, you ain't going into the Army.

You ain't nothing but a kid.

But, Dad, the Army builds men.

Yeah, but first,

you've got to bring them all the parts.

Dad, the Army will snap me right up,

especially when they hear about my combat record.

What combat record?

I'll have you know I've seen every John Wayne war movie

ever made.

Going in as a hero, huh?

No, I'm willing to work my way up.

I'll start off as G.I. J.J., PFC.

* M-O-U-S-E *

This Army stuff ain't no game, boy.

This is serious business,

and you ain't ready for it yet.

But, Dad, you went into the Army at my age.

Yeah, well, see,

I got an invitation to the Korean War.

In them days, Uncle Sam wasn't taking no for an answer.

And, J.J., you've never been away from home before.

That's the good part.

I get a chance to see the world for free.

Chicks in every country will stay up all night

just to get a touch of Kid Dy-no-mite...

And, Dad, in the new Army,

they let you choose where you want to go.

Yeah, and you know what your choice is going to be?

Death Valley or Iceland.

Well, I hear that Iceland is kind of nice in the spring.

Yeah, if you're a snowball, which you ain't.

Now, Junior, you ain't going into the Army,

and that's all there is to it.

You couldn't even make it through basic training, boy.

You ain't never had it that tough.

Couldn't be any tougher

than living in this neighborhood.

No? Well, when's the last time

you went on a 10-mile hike?

The last time the elevator broke down.

How about crawling on your belly

with live ammunition flying over your head?

Do it every Wednesday--

only way to get home from school

after the Warlords and the Saint Knights

get down.

Junior, how about not seeing a girl

for 12 whole weeks, huh?

Oh, no!

Oh, yeah.

That's cruel and inhumane punishment,

but I guess the chicks

will just have to make the sacrifice.

Junior, you ain't going into the Army,

and that's all there is to it,

so you might as well forget that.

Wait a minute now, Dad.

I've never disobeyed you,

but the Army says I'm old enough.

I don't need your permission.

Now, wait a minute, son, hold it.

Your mother ain't here, Junior.

How you going to make a decision like that

without her being here?

Good thing she's not.

She probably would try to stop me.

Then why you doing it, son?

Well, Dad, somebody's got to do something.

I mean, things are tough.

In the Army, I'll be making $344 a month,

plus room and board.

I could send that home,

and that would be one less mouth for you to feed.

I just stopped by to let y'all know what I was doing,

and tell y'all the good news.

Well, I'm going down to take my physical.

Junior!

I'm sorry, Dad.

He's joining up because I lost my job.

Daddy, he didn't say that.

He ain't got to, baby girl.

I mean, I know the truth.

Oh, Daddy,

you know we love you.

Yeah, Daddy, it's not your fault.

It happens to people all over.

You said yourself the unemployment figure was 8.3.

Well, I bet among black men, it's over 20%.

For black men in this house, it's 100%.

Boy, the economy's got me jammed in the middle.

It's causing my family to break up,

and there ain't a damn thing I can do about it.

Come on, Daddy, stop worrying.

Let me fix you something to eat.

Please, Thelma...

Daddy feels bad enough as it is already.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Don't answer it.

It's probably just some more bad news.

Hello?

Yes, just a minute.

Daddy, it's for you. It's Brady's.

Brady's--

them jive-time rascals--

probably want their paycheck back from last week.

Yeah?

What?

Oh, man, you jiving?

Well, all right!

Got my job back. I'm working again.

Daddy, that's great!

Yeah, it seems like the personnel manager

made a mistake.

I never got laid off in the first place.

Look here, Lord,

I want to thank you for helping me out.

Now, don't y'all tell your mother I said that.

She'll be wanting to drag me to church every Sunday.

Oh, Lord, I've got to stop Junior

before he takes that physical.

Daddy, how can you? It's too late.

Not if he didn't get sworn in yet.

You ain't in the Army until you raise your right hand

and take that oath.

I'll see y'all.

Hey, wait a minute.

What induction center

did he say he was going to?

Um... he didn't say.

I'll find it. I've got to find it!

All right, send in the next group.

Line up over there, men, and shout off.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four...

And one more makes five.

Good God.

Evans?

Yes, sir!

Step back in line,

and take that hat off.

Uh...

Yeah?

Don't I get a hatcheck claim?

James Evans Junior?

Yes, sir!

Come on in, please.

Hey, doc, what you doing?

I'm going to look in your mouth.

Then why did I take off my clothes?

Come on, up on the table.

All right, Evans,

open your mouth and say, "Ah."

Couldn't we talk this over?

Come on.

Is it going to hurt?

Well, if you don't open up, it will.

I see you still have your tonsils...

and a lot of teeth.

And that's the way I plan on keeping it.

All right.

Read the bottom line on that eye chart

over there.

"Made in Japan."

Well, if you can read that one,

I guess you can read the others.

Come on, up against the wall.

I have to get a chest X-ray.

Well, I know that can't hurt.

Now, face the wall, Evans.

Here we go.

All right.

I can't find your chest.

Huh. Oh, there it is.

All right.

Take a deep breath and count three.

[BUZZ]

All right.

I'm supposed to get one sideways too,

but you haven't got a sideways.

Back up on the table.

Now what are we going to do, doc?

Just relax, Evans.

What's that for?

I have to take some blood.

From who?

Well, I'd like to have it from you.

I'd like to have a second opinion.

Uh... couldn't we wait till I cut myself shaving?

Evans.

That was just the alcohol.

That cotton's a killer.

There.

Now, just one little heart test, and you're all finished.

All right, come over here.

Now, just run up and down those steps as fast as you can,

and keep running up and down as fast as you can

until I tell you to stop.

All right, ready?

Go.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Major Bullock here.

Oh, what is it, dear? I'm kind of busy right now.

Oh, really?

Tonight?

Oh, that's great.

When did they get in? I haven't seen old Bob in years.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Well, then,

he can sleep in our room.

Okay, okay.

Gee.

No, no, no.

I'll stop at the store on the way home

and pick up something.

How are we for scotch?

Good, good.

Unless old Bob has changed,

we're going to need plenty of it.

Oh, boy.

Gee, it's been five years at least.

Well, dear, I know it's been that long,

because the last time we saw them

was right before your operation,

so don't tell me when it was.

I know it perfectly well.

It was five years ago.

No, no, no, dear,

that was Ellen's tonsils,

and the year before that,

it was Jimmy's wisdom teeth.

Well, I'm telling you. It was five years ago.

I ought to know, I'm a doctor.

Sergeant,

I've got to talk to you.

Man, I just hope I ain't too late.

No, take your clothes off

and have a seat.

Do I look like I'm here for a physical?

Nothing surprises me in the new Army.

You should see the kid we've got in there now.

I've been to three induction centers looking for my kid.

I've got to stop him before he takes the oath.

Patty, that was Grandma's operation!

Goodbye.

You can-- You can sit down now.

No, no, not there, over on the table.

Hey, that's his hat. Is he in there?

Yes.

But you can't go in there.

The hell I can't.

Junior?

Junior?

Speak to me, Junior.

Please, I can't hear this man's heart.

That's because it's stopped beating.

Junior, I got my job back. I'm working again.

You ain't got to join up.

Would you mind repeating that?

I said I got my job back, son.

I'm working again.

Everything's going to be fine.

You ain't got to join the Army.

Honest?

Honest.

Now, hear this--

I hereby de-enlist.

Alrighty.

* Just lookin' Out of the window *

* Watching the asphalt grow *

* Thinkin' how It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good times Good times *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs Good times *

ANNOUNCER: Good Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em *

* Good times *