Original subtitles

* Good Times Any time you meet a payment *

* Good Times *

* Any time You need a friend *

* Good Times *

* Any time You're out from under *

* Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

* Easy credit ripoffs *

* Good Times *

* Scratchin' and survivin' *

* Good Times *

* Hangin' in A chow line

* Good Times *

* Ain't we lucky We got 'em *

* Good Times *

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

I'll get it.

Yeah, it's probably President Ford

calling to tell us why the country's

in such bad shape.

I just hope he ain't calling collect.

Oh, James.

Hello?

Oh, Henrietta.

No, J.J.'s not here.

Listen, Henrietta,

we've all just been dying to meet you,

so why don't you come over and have dinner with us tonight,

and think of what a big surprise that'll be for J.J.

Good.

Then we'll see you in a little while.

Okay. Bye-bye, sweetheart.

James, we're finally going to meet

J.J.'s girl, Henrietta.

I'm so excited.

I can hardly wait to see what kind of girl she is.

Baby, I can't think of but two kinds.

There's the dumb kind

you bring home to meet your folks,

and the hip kind you bring home when your folks ain't there.

Oh, which kind was I?

Yes?

Well...

See, I just thought of a third kind.

See, you was the kind

that most guys hope to marry,

but just wasn't lucky enough to catch.

Oh, James,

that is the sweetest, most touching way

I ever heard you

squirm out of anything yet.

You know I mean every word.

Oh.

You know something, James?

You should have been a typist.

You sure are partial to the touch system.

Hey, Michael, Thelma, you all come out here a minute.

I've got some good news for you.

What is it, Ma?

Yeah, what's up?

Henrietta is coming to dinner,

and I don't want you

to mention one word about this

when J.J. gets home.

It's going to be a surprise.

Thelma,

I want you to help me finish dinner, okay?

Okay, Mom.

And, Michael? Yeah, Mom?

I want you to scrub up good,

comb your hair,

and put on another shirt.

For some dopey girl?

Mama, the guest

is the one who's supposed to do all that stuff,

not me-- I live here.

You need some help

making a wardrobe selection?

Let me see.

Should I wear my shirt with the stripes

or the one with the wide collar?

Oh, go on, go, go.

Honey, you know, it wouldn't hurt

if you put on another shirt too.

For some old dopey girl?

James.

Let me see,

should I wear my brown shirt

or my brown shirt?

Oh, James.

Mm.

Ma's cooking--

Yeah, on the appreciation scale of 1 to 10,

your cooking gets a big 9.9.

Only 9.9?

Yeah, Thelma's cooking gets a 0.1.

After you take the first swallow,

you point one to the Pepto Bismol.

For all you know, Totem Pole,

I might have cooked what you just inhaled.

Impossible.

My nose is programmed to cut off automatically,

and my stomach goes into instant reject.

J.J., what are all those newspapers for?

Maybe he wants you to housebreak him.

Mom, what I have here is a few of the morning,

the afternoon, and a few

of the neighborhood throwaways

that I picked up

before they were thrown away.

I want

to closely scrutinize the possibility

of getting a full-time job.

What happened to your part-time ushering job?

Part-time ain't good enough, Ma.

I need a full-time job.

You're looking at a brand-new me--

J.J. the Conscientious,

J.J. the Mature,

J.J...

The fool.

To show you how mature I am, Ma,

I will ignore the child.

Moving on.

As you know, Ma, in a couple of months,

I'll be graduating from high school,

therefore, I'm going to start thinking about my future now.

You know, it's a cold, ugly world

I've got out there to face.

And with your face out there,

it'll be colder and uglier.

What?

You Frankenstein.

All right, all right, that's enough you two.

J.J., you know,

it is hard to believe

that you're starting to take life serious.

Well, I am, Ma.

Now, let's see what fantastic jobs

are available for James Evans Jr.

"Electronic engineer,

"digital analog circuit design--

"Must have

"telecommunications experience

"in modern design and active filter retreat.

"Semiconductor manufacturing expertise preferred.

Salary commensurate with experience."

Moving on to the next ad.

Hmm, this one ain't no easier.

Moving on to the next page.

Hey, Ma, here's one in my bag--

"Salesman wanted--

young, eager, and bright."

I'm young, I'm eager...

And you'd better quit while you're ahead.

Ma, can we trade her in for a future draft choice?

Thelma, stop bothering your brother.

Now, let's see

what they want the young, eager,

bright salesman to sell.

"Cemetery plots."

Hmm, "Must have car."

Car? Are they kidding?

They must mean "hearse."

Maybe you'd better move on to the next paper.

Wait a minute, Ma.

Here's something that looks good--

Restaurant manager.

"Large restaurant

"has opening for management position.

"Excellent salary and benefits.

Send resume."

That's "resumé," stupid.

Oh, resumé.

Then the job must be in a French restaurant.

J.J.,

a resumé is a written history of all the jobs

and work experiences you've had in the past few years.

But suppose you ain't had no job or work experience,

then what do you send?

Your regrets.

I'm sorry, Mama,

but I don't know why I have to go through all this trouble

just to eat dinner at home. But, Michael,

you look so cute.

Mama, why do I have to look cute to eat?

Why can't I look like J.J.?

Hey!

Mom, I could understand getting dressed

for Julian Bond or Muhammad Ali,

but some dopey, old--

Michael, why don't you go into Thelma's room

and read the funnies?

Man, you can't say two words around here

without being sent out to another room.

J.J., what I can't understand

is why all of the sudden concern about your future

and making big money?

I've got my reasons, Ma. I've got my reasons.

J.J., you'll never find anything in the papers you qualify for.

Then I'll go to the employment agency,

and I'll say to that personnel director,

"It's about time you all saw the light

and hired the great Kid Dyn-o-mite."

Aah.

Junior, what you doing with all these newspapers?

I'm looking for a full-time job, Dad.

Say what?

That's right, Dad.

I think it's about time

that I go out into the world

and become the master of my own destiny.

Yeah, well, master without a good education,

the only destiny you're going to have

is a swift kick in the butt.

Well, I'm going to have a high school diploma.

Oh, Junior, nowadays, that ain't enough to get you as high

as the bottom of the heap.

I'm telling you, it's rough out there, son.

What you need to be concentrating on

is a junior college

and one of them big-time art schools.

Well, Dad, I tell you right now.

My mind is definitely not on junior college or art school.

But, J.J., what could be more important

than your art?

Henrietta and...

the possibility of getting married.

Married?

You?

And why not?

Henrietta digs sweets,

and I am the Almond Joy

of her life.

Yeah, that's right,

a big nut covered with chocolate.

Go ahead, have your frivolity,

but I think I'm in love.

You think you're in love, huh?

Well, I've been hit by something.

The mere thought of Henrietta turns on my ignition,

but rides the sparks that start my motor racing.

Junior, you don't need no wife. You need a mechanic.

J.J., there's no need

to discuss marriage for you.

You're too broke, too irresponsible,

and too young.

James,

something smells strange

all of a sudden.

First, it's this full-time job

and now this marriage nonsense.

We're going to find out what it's all about

as soon as Henrietta gets here.

When Henrietta gets where?

Here.

We invited her over for dinner.

It was going to be a surprise.

Well, since I hate surprises, and Henrietta hates dinner,

I'll call her and tell her to stay home.

You'll do nothing of the kind.

Put that phone down.

Oh, Ma, Henrietta can't come here.

This building's dangerous. Some weirdo may bother her.

I come to this building every day

and nobody bothers me.

That's because

weirdos got respect for each other.

[KNOCKING]

Oh, that must be Henrietta now.

Don't open it, Ma. Pretend we're not home,

or better yet, I'll write a note saying we moved

and shove it under the door.

I'll shove you under that door.

Answer it.

[KNOCKING]

Answer the door, Junior.

Surprise.

My Lord.

I invite her over to dinner,

but I didn't know

she was going to bring company.

Uh... Henrietta,

I want you to meet the beautiful lady

who made this historic meeting

possible,

my mother, Mrs. James Evans.

Oh, Mrs. Evans,

this is one of my biggest thrills.

That's quite a compliment.

And...

I want you to meet the old block that I'm the chip off of,

my father, James Evans Senior.

I'm the block,

but the chip is cracked.

It's nice to meet you, Mr. Evans.

Same here, Henrietta.

And I want you to meet my brilliant little kid brother,

Michael,

and my sister, the weirdo Thelma.

You know, you all look exactly like I had you pictured.

You don't look nothing like we had you pictured.

What my wife means is that...

you're much prettier than we thought you'd be.

Yes.

A lot much.

Thanks.

You know, I'm going to let you and Mrs. Evans in

on a little secret.

Secret?

Yeah, I mean,

you're really lucky to have a son like J.J.

He's the most adorable dude I know.

Henrietta's only fault is telling it like it is.

Junior, we can see how it is.

Thelma, we're going to be

a little while before dinner,

so why don't you take Henrietta into your room

and let her hear some of your new albums.

But I don't have any new albums, Ma.

Then take her in there

and hum some of the ones you don't have.

Ah, yeah, okay.

Come on, Henrietta,

I've got a couple of really bad records

I bet you haven't heard yet.

Well, don't be too sure, Thelma.

After all, I do get around.

J.J. Uh-oh.

Something tells me things are going to be said

that a little kid shouldn't hear,

but I'm staying anyway.

Now, you go in our room and read the funny papers.

Daddy, I already read the funny papers,

and they don't have as much action

as there is out here.

Go!

Oh, Daddy, how come I always got to split

when things get exciting?

You think it's exciting?

Now, keep standing there, hear?

Boy, I'll tell you,

there's nothing I like better

than a dull evening at home.

Okay, J.J., you've got a lot of explaining to do,

so get with it, and I want the whole story.

We ain't got to hear the whole story, Baby.

We can guess the beginning,

because we've just seen the middle.

Does that mean you don't want us to do anything about this?

I don't know what we can do about it,

other than make sure Junior understands

everything there is to know

about this kind of situation.

Well, what is there to understand?

He understands that one plus one makes three.

Junior, you ain't got to marry Henrietta,

and there ain't no law that says you do.

James! But, Dad...

Florida, when a girl gets pregnant today, it's her fault.

I mean, there's all sorts of ways--

There's all sorts of ways to prevent this kind of thing,

and she could have done it by herself just by saying "no".

James, now, there are a whole lot of things

that a girl can do by herself,

but getting pregnant ain't one of them.

Now, Henrietta had a willing accomplice.

But, ma...

Now, how do you know he was a willing accomplice?

I bet it's just a con job to trap Junior into marrying her.

But, Dad...

Ah, Junior, shut up.

This ain't none of your business.

James, this is crazy.

You just said yourself

that J.J. wasn't prepared for what's out there.

Who would want to trap him into bringing home the bacon

when he can't even catch the pig?

Florida, the girls get pregnant all the time

just to land a good catch.

James, J.J. is my son too, and I love him dearly,

but I don't think an unemployed teenager

is a good catch.

Oh, well, he is.

Now, he may not seem like much right now, Baby,

but one day, he's going to be a great artist.

I think the girl's just using her head

trying to get in on the ground floor.

But, Dad...

Junior, I told you to shut up.

You ain't got nothing to do with this.

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]

Girl, you sure got a lot of good records

to dance to.

Ain't nothing I like better to do than to dance.

Oh, really?

Yeah, you get me out there on the dance floor,

I'll look just like a butterfly.

Well, at least, I used to.

Now I look a little more like the Goodyear blimp.

Hey, Thelma, what's wrong?

I mean, you ain't said much of nothing

ever since we got in here.

I'm sorry, Henrietta.

I guess it's hard for me to say much that matters,

because, well, I really don't know you.

Aw, what's to know?

I'm Taurus. I'll be 17.

I'm an only child. I'm in the 11th grade.

I'm pregnant.

As a result, I look terrible in a bikini.

Henrietta,

what was it like when you found out?

I mean, were you upset?

Did you cry or what?

Well, that's kind of hard to explain.

See, at first, I was scared,

and then I started feeling more like a woman

and less like a little girl,

and then I started thinking about what it took to be a woman

and a mother,

and, wow, it got scary all over again.

I would have been scared from the jump.

If I told my parents I was pregnant,

they'd explode.

Girl, my parents were the last thing

for me to worry about.

It's like when I told my mother,

she just stared, and then she said,

"I wonder if my becoming a grandmother

means I have to start mixing Geritol with my gin?"

What did your father say?

Oh, nothing much, just that I'm getting everything I deserve

for not being more careful.

Well, with all the birth-control information

that's floating around,

why weren't you?

I had a very good reason.

I never thought I'd get pregnant.

You know, I've dated a lot of guys

who tried to push me farther than I wanted to go,

but then I'd start thinking of things that could happen

I didn't want to happen,

and, hey, Henrietta,

I'm not trying to put you down or anything,

but it just wasn't worth it.

Well, I felt the same way,

but, girl, one day, I thought I was in love,

and, boom, it was worth it.

But there's more kinds of love

than physical love.

Now you tell me.

And what you going to do about finishing school?

Well, what can I do?

I mean, the three R's just don't make it

when they're Reading, Writing, and Raising a Kid.

How does my brother feel about all of this?

Oh, Thelma, J.J.'s been really terrific,

you know, like, if it wasn't for him,

I don't know what kind of shape I'd be in.

James, taking sides in this

is all wrong.

Now, we're talking about two kids

who may be on the verge of ruining their lives,

and we've got to do something about it.

Well, what can we do about it?

This boy can't even raise his self.

His idea of raising a baby

would probably be to feed it strained Snicker bars.

James, finding a solution isn't going to be easy,

but we've got to find one.

Florida, why do we have to find a solution?

How come her folks can't find a solution?

She's the one with the problem.

Okay, then,

we'll let them find a solution,

and if they demand a wedding,

fine.

We'll even split the tab.

We'll let them bring the shotgun,

and we'll bring the shells.

Can I say one thing?

What?

The baby ain't mine.

What?

That's right.

Henrietta did a crazy thing before we met

in a moment of passion.

I didn't even know it happened

until I noticed that her 100-dollar figure

was becoming a victim of inflation.

Junior, tell me one thing, please,

if it ain't your baby,

then why you want to marry her?

I didn't say I want to marry her.

I said I was thinking about marrying her,

because I think I'm in love with her.

Well, Junior,

we can't stop you from thinking

you're in love with Henrietta,

but if you're thinking about marriage,

think again, hear?

That's right.

Now, the legal age to get married in Chicago is 21.

You're only 18,

which means you must have our permission...

And we ain't about to give it.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans, please,

you don't have to get on J.J.'s case because of me.

J.J., look,

I really appreciate you wanting to marry me,

but the fact is

I'm not marrying you or anybody else.

Well, the least you could do

is wait for me to ask you before you turn me down.

J.J., I like you more than I do anybody else,

but right now marriage ain't what I want.

But what about the baby?

It needs a father.

Not you.

Henrietta, tell me something.

How your folks feel about your condition?

Mr. Evans, for years,

my folks ain't felt nothing but hangovers.

Well, you sure ain't going

to help them rush to get on the wagon

by making them grandparents

without bringing home a husband.

Henrietta, what will you do?

Where will you live?

I haven't thought about that yet.

Well, look, Henrietta,

you can't go back to your folks.

I mean, you was having a rough enough time

by yourself.

Now, there's going to be two of you.

I know.

Henrietta,

if you're not for marriage,

it seems to me

that the best thing is--

Put the baby up for adoption.

That makes sense.

I can't see no other way.

Well?

I'm keeping my baby.

But, Henrietta,

you're hardly more than a child yourself.

You've got no job. You've got no education,

What can you possibly give to that child?

Love, Mrs. Evans.

I need something to love.

That's something my parents never gave me.

It's a lonely world out there.

It's going to be a lot less lonely with my baby.

Well, what about us, Henrietta?

J.J., we can still keep seeing each other.

Nothing's changed that.

Yeah, I know, we can go out and have two Big Macs

and one little Mac.

Henrietta,

I wish I didn't have to say this,

because I think I know how you feel,

but, honey,

you're only going to be hurting that baby.

Life for both of you is going to be pure hell.

I've got nothing else.

I'm willing to take that chance.

Well...

I guess I'd better go.

Henrietta, don't go. Stay for a while, please.

J.J., you're a really beautiful dude.

It's been really nice meeting all of y'all,

really, it has.

Bye.

Goodbye, sweetheart...

and remember,

if you ever need us, we're right here.

Ma, am I terrible?

I feel sorry for her,

but I'm glad it's not me.

There but for the grace of God, Thelma.

No, there's nothing to be ashamed of

in what you're thinking.

Now, if y'all through

with the birds and the bees,

let's get down with some black-eyed peas.

I'm starving.

* Just lookin' Out of the window *

* Just lookin' Out of the window *

* Watchin' The asphalt grow *

* Thinkin' how it all Looks hand-me-down *

* Good Times Good Times *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

ANNOUNCER: Good Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

* Ain't we lucky We got 'em? *

* Good Times *