Original subtitles

* Good times Any time you meet a payment *

* Good times Any time you need a friend *

* Good times *

* Any time you're Out from under *

* Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs Good times *

* Easy credit ripoffs Good times *

* Scratchin' and survivin' Good times *

* Hangin' in a chow line Good times *

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em *

* Good times **

J.J., what are you doing?

I'm doing what all great artistesdo--

I'm painting a self-portrait.

I'm putting my ebony beauty on canvas.

Are you ready to be bedazzled?

Ta-dah.

Hey, J.J.,

that looks just like you.

Thank you.

That's why if I were you, I'd burn it.

Hold it there. Hold on there, girl.

You're looking at a face that will make the foxes fight,

because what you see here is Kid Dy-no-mite!

Listen, Kid Dy-no-mite, while I tell it right.

The only foxes that'll fight for you

are the ones who look like they belong in a zoo.

Oh, Ma, you look beautiful.

Thanks, honey.

Oh, Ma, I love this dress.

Well, I owe that to my designers.

It's an original J.C. Penney.

You know,

this is the first time in years I didn't make my own dress,

but I figured

this was going to be an uptown wedding,

so I thought I'd wear an uptown dress.

It's a little tight downtown.

Oh, Ma, don't say that.

You're going to be the prettiest one there.

When you walk in anywhere,

your smile lights up the whole place.

Oh, thanks, honey.

And I take after you...

lightning up the place.

Right.

In your case, there is a power failure.

What you talking about, a power failure?

The girl with the turned-off face

and the 100-watt mouth.

All right, kids.

That's enough. That's enough.

Where's the wedding at, Ma?

Ooh, only at the Empire Room.

Wow!

Whoo-whee!

I took Henrietta to eat there one time

and all we could afford was the tip.

Surprised you could afford that.

Hey, baby, ain't Michael back with my suit yet?

Not yet, honey.

That was some party

you guys gave Eddie last night.

Yeah.

You know, I could have gotten the stains out of your lapels,

but how in the world did you get barbecue sauce

on the back of your pants?

I don't remember.

I asked Eddie and he don't remember.

Matter of fact,

don't none of the guys seem to remember,

but one thing is for sure, baby--

it was a night to remember.

Boy, that was some party.

Hey, Dad, when I get married,

you're going to throw me one of those parties too, huh?

Oh, yeah, Junior.

We're going to have a big one for you.

Going to be lights, cameras,

plenty of action.

Kid Dy-no-mite going to be the main attraction...

as soon as he gets a job.

Lorraine and Eddie

sure waited a long time to get married.

How long were they going together?

Oh, about 18 years...

but Lorraine finally put it to him.

She said, "If you want to keep on eating chicken here

"every Sunday,

"you're going to have to stick around

for the rest of the week for leftovers."

Well, it looks like

all your old friends are married now, huh?

Yeah, all except Willona.

How come Willona ain't married?

Well, maybe it's because she was married before,

and she don't want to get into that again,

but, you know,

I think if she goes to this wedding today,

she just might give it some thought.

You know what the problem with Willona is, baby?

She's too picky.

Oh, Daddy, she's got a right to be picky.

She's a beautiful woman, she's smart--

Yeah, but, Thelma,

she ought not to stay picky,

because women that play hard to get

don't get got.

But, James, how could you say that?

I played hard to get, and I got got.

Well, in some cases,

women that's got shall get.

Have mercy.

You know, you had a lot of tricks

working for you, though.

Mm-hmm.

Only reason I gave up smoking cigarettes

is because every time I blew a smoke ring,

you kept putting your finger through it.

Oh, James, how you talk.

Daddy, Mama's always told me how much you courted her.

Yeah, well, I might have did the courting,

but your mother here did the navigating.

What? Yeah, you did.

Boy, she had a lot of stuff working for her.

Every time I asked her if she wanted to go to a movie,

she'd pick out a picture

like Seven Brides for Seven Brothers,

Honeymoon Hotel,

Member of the Wedding,

Bride of Frankenstein.

Bride of Frankenstein?

Yeah, I guess Ma figured if Frankenstein'd get married,

so could Dad.

All of a sudden,

I feel a sudden urge to go to the bathroom.

Hi, Daddy. I got your suit.

Yes, it's looking fine too.

I'm not expecting a big tip,

but it sure would be a nice surprise.

No surprise, huh?

Uh-uh.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hello? Just a minute. James!

Yeah.

It's for you.

All right. Thank you.

Hello?

Hey, Dwayne.

How you doing, man?

What?

You were at the party last night?

Did we have fun?

Say what?

We ran Eddie through the car wash?

Yeah, we got him all steam-cleaned

and hot-waxed for the wedding, huh?

Yeah.

Aw, man, I'll never forget last night.

Nothing.

Huh?

I forgot about that.

Oh, yeah, we'll be ready.

We appreciate it too.

Okay.

Yeah, Dwayne's going to drive by

and pick us up, take us to the wedding.

Oh, that's nice.

Then we wouldn't have to take the El and two buses.

Yeah.

Hey, Daddy, you know I read in a magazine

that James Brown

used to shine shoes

in front of the radio station that he now owns.

Well, I ain't got no radio station.

How about a quarter?

All right.

Ma, you know, personally,

I don't believe in those fancy weddings

like Lorraine and Eddie are having.

When I get married,

it's just going to be my husband and me,

up on a lonely hilltop,

saying our vows to each other.

There'd better be a preacher up on that lonely hilltop,

or you'd better not come back to the valley.

Oh, Ma.

Hi, Flo. You're looking good.

Thank you.

Why aren't you dressed for the wedding?

Because I ain't going.

You ain't going?

Uh-uh.

Oh, Lorraine's going to be heartbroken

if you don't show up.

Honey, she'd only be heartbroken if Eddie don't show up.

Come on, Flo.

You know what a drag weddings are.

A drag? Mm-hmm.

Seeing all our old friends again?

Now, that's the part that's a drag.

You know,

because they always pull the same old jive routine--

"Willona, darling, it's been years,

and, you know, you don't look a day older,"

and then I say,

"Honey, you know, that's the truth.

You don't look a day older either,"

and inside, we're both thinking the same thing,

"That chick is ready for Medicare."

Oh, Willona, you know you look great.

Something else must be bugging you.

Yeah.

Okay, I'll tell you what's bothering me.

What is it?

Now, practically everybody

going to be there's going to be married, right?

Mm, yeah.

Okay, and the minute I walk in the door,

I know exactly

what they're all going to say,

"Willona, when you going to be next?"

And to make sure I'm next,

they going to try to unload any dude who's single

and wearing a pair of pants.

Now, I'm liable

to wind up dancing

with a little, old, bald-headed sucker

who's breathing onion dip directly up into my face,

or better yet,

a 290-pound monster who thinks he's romantic,

singing in my ear while he's stomping on my toes,

and those are the good-looking ones.

Oh, now, Willona, you know it's not as bad as all that.

Then all my happy, helpful girlfriends,

honey, somehow, they force me in a corner,

and out comes all the baby pictures.

Then I've got to go,

"Ooh, ooh, honey, she-- Ooh, she's beautiful.

Oh, darling, he is adorable."

Then I find out that he's the "she"

and she's the "he."

Willona, people don't go around

showing pictures of their kids anymore.

Oh, no?

No.

Flo, is this the purse

you're taking to the wedding?

Yeah.

What we got here?

Well, I just took them along in case somebody asked.

Well, at least,

you can tell J.J. from Thelma.

I sure hope so.

Flo, it's murder.

Everybody is trying to get me married.

Well, I ain't going to put myself through

those unnecessary changes

on my only day of rest.

I ain't going.

But, Willona,

everybody's expecting you.

Florida, there ain't no way I'm going to that wedding.

A single woman at that wedding

is like a ham hock at a bar mitzvah.

Hey, I thought I heard Willona's voice out here.

Ain't she here?

You thought right.

Well, is she ready to go?

She ain't going, James.

Thanks, Junior.

Well, what's the matter with her?

I don't know.

It's just not like Willona.

She's going through a change, huh?

Michael.

He reads, Ma. He reads.

Yeah, he reads things I don't understand.

Michael, go outside and play.

This is no conversation for a little boy.

Okay.

I'm a member of this family,

and I don't even get a chance to sit down and rap.

Later.

Honey, you know the trouble with Willona

is she's not married,

and she don't like going places

where people bringing up the subject.

She's sensitive and unhappy about it.

Florida, what you talking about?

You know Willona's happy. She's always cracking jokes.

That just could be the cover-up of how she really feels.

You know, she spends an awful lot of time alone

in that apartment.

Yeah, maybe we ought to get her

a pair of goldfish.

They don't talk much,

but you don't have to housebreak them.

[KNOCKING]

Hey, I bet you that's Dwayne now, baby.

I'll get it.

Hey, Dwayne, how you doing, man?

Hey, James.

Hi, Florida. Hi, kids.

Hi, Dwayne.

Dwayne, it has been a long time,

but you look just great.

Thanks. I feel great.

I don't know

when I've seen you look better.

Your wife must be taking good care of you.

Real good.

She divorced me six months ago.

So you're not married now.

No.

James, you never told me.

It never came up.

Single, huh?

Right.

My, my.

You do look good.

You going with anybody now?

No, I'm kind of playing it loose now.

Oh, now, that's interesting.

Well, I must say again,

I can't get over how good you look.

Try.

Dwayne, why don't you go on downstairs, man.

I'll be down there in a minute.

Yeah, sure.

Hey, nice seeing you kids.

Okay, bye, Dwayne.

I'll see you later.

All right.

Now, Florida, come on, now,

promise you're going to cool it here.

No matchmaking, hear?

Cool what?

You know I can see that arithmetic going on

in your head.

You think Willona plus Dwayne equal Mr. and Mrs. Pool.

Well, what's wrong with that?

Although the thought never entered my mind.

Never entered?

Baby, it's occupying every nook and cranny.

Come on, Florida,

promise you ain't going to do no matchmaking here.

But, James, it's so easy.

Now, promise now. No matchmaking, baby.

All right, I promise.

Okay, let's go.

We'll see you kids. Bye, Daddy.

Bye, Ma. Have a good time.

Bye, kids. All right.

Now, y'all behave yourself, huh?

Okay, Mom, we will.

Oh, James, wait here by the elevator.

I want to tell Willona something.

Hey, now, Florida.

Now, you promised now. No matchmaking, hear?

I just want to stop by and ask her to drop in

and look on the kids while we're gone.

Lord, forgive me for breaking this promise,

but if I remember my Adam and Eve correctly,

it was you who started this matchmaking business.

Thelma, can't you see I'm reading?

Well, go read somewhere else.

I was here first. Cut it out, Thelma.

Good morning, kids.

BOTH: Good morning, Ma.

Oh, Ma, how was the wedding? Was it a beautiful ceremony?

I don't know.

I cried so loud, I didn't hear none of it.

How did Lorraine look?

Oh, she was great, and they did it up fancy.

She had something old,

something new, something borrowed,

and something blue.

How come she didn't have something black?

She did, honey-- 200 of us.

Oh, Ma.

Morning.

Morning, Daddy. Good morning, James.

Is that coffee ready yet, Florida?

Not quite.

Damn.

James, it's Sunday morning.

I know it's Sunday morning.

Damn.

What's bothering you, Daddy?

There's nothing bothering your father.

Florida, how can you stand there and say it was nothing?

Well, it was nothing.

What happened?

Nothing. Nothing?

Boy, if this is the way Dad acts when nothing happens,

I'd hate to be around when something happens.

Junior, you was the first-born,

wasn't you?

Yeah.

You bucking to be the first to go?

Well, something tells me

I'm about to be sent out to play again.

I bet I play more basketball than Walt Frazier.

Daddy, what happened?

All right, Thelma.

I'm about to give you the latest episode

in the continuing series called "Broken Promises,"

starring Florida Evans.

We got ready to go to the wedding,

and she said,

"James, wait here by the elevator

"while I go in and tell Willona

to look in on the kids,"

so I waited.

Meanwhile, Dwayne is downstairs waiting,

so who comes walking out of the house

all dressed up and ready to go to the wedding with your mother?

Willona.

Oh, Ma, you got Willona to go.

How'd you do it?

Well, I promised

I wouldn't let nobody at the wedding

keep hassling her about getting a man.

Yeah, and that's one promise she kept.

Well, couldn't nobody get close to Willona,

because your mother was doing all the hassling...

And then when we got to the wedding,

she found out Willona was sitting with us

at table three,

and Dwayne was sitting way down at table eight.

Well, Thelma, your mother got downright hysterical.

She must have moved everybody in that building around

till she finally got Willona and Dwayne

sitting next to each other.

James, you know you're exaggerating.

I only asked one couple to move.

Yeah, baby, but the bride and groom?

Oh.

Hey, baby, you know I'm only teasing.

But then all through dinner,

she kept yakking in Dwayne's ear,

talking about, "Dwayne, ain't Willona beautiful?

"Dwayne, ain't Willona cute?

Dwayne, ain't Willona charming?"

The way she was hitting at the man,

you'd thought he was a goal line,

and she was Mercury Morris.

Oh, James, it wasn't that obvious.

It was too.

You know, I told you, Florida,

this matchmaking is dangerous business.

Now, you throw two people together,

you'll never know what's going to happen...

Mostly trouble.

Oh, I don't know about that, James.

When my Uncle Harry and my Aunt Charlotte

got married,

that was arranged.

Huh?

He must have been happy. They had 12 children.

Maybe he was trying to lose your Aunt Charlotte

in the crowd.

But you didn't say what happened with Willona and Dwayne.

Did they dig each other?

Are you kidding?

Your mother come on so strong,

Dwayne got up in the middle of dinner,

excused himself, and got the hell out of there.

James, now, you know he left

because he wasn't feeling well.

No, baby,

that was just a polite way

of saying all that talk was driving him crazy.

Then a half hour later, Willona left.

Her excuse was a splitting headache,

but you know why she left.

All right, so I messed up,

I admit it,

but I was only trying to get two nice people together.

I didn't mean no harm.

I know that, baby.

I hope you learned your lesson too.

See, butting in other people's business,

it can't cause nothing but trouble.

Hi, y'all.

Hi, folks.

Now, Dwayne just picked me up to go out for the afternoon,

so we thought we'd stop by and say hello.

Dwayne, you didn't tell me. Where are we going?

Oh, I thought we'd take a drive.

I know a nice place down by the shore. You're going to like it.

I will if it's half as nice as the place we went to last night.

Oh, yeah.

You two were together last night?

Oh, yeah.

After the wedding, we went for a little late dinner.

But I don't understand.

Dwayne, you said you weren't feeling well,

and, Willona, you said you had a headache.

Florida, the minute I saw Willona,

I dug her.

I tried to talk to her, but I didn't have a chance.

But you were sitting right next to each other.

Yeah, I know, but--

no hard feelings, Florida--

but you were talking so much

that I didn't have a chance

to get a word in edgewise.

Ahem.

So you two like each other?

We are together like white on rice.

Alrighty.

Well, James,

what were you saying about making trouble?

Well, no,

you misunderstood me, baby.

What I said was, "The minute they saw each other,

I knew they was going to hit it off."

James.

But, Dad, you said--

That's what you said.

You-- you did say that.

Oh, Willona, I'm so happy for you,

I don't know what to do. Florida, honey.

Florida, could I talk to you in private

for just one minute?

Oh, sure, sure, sure.

Have a seat. I'll be right out. Okay, honey.

Hey, you want a beer or something while we waiting?

No, man, we're going to have lunch pretty soon.

Willona, I'm just so happy for you,

I don't know what to do.

I just knew it

the minute I laid eyes on you,

you were going to make a nice couple...

Flo. Flo! Wait. What?

Listen to me. What?

I've got a strong feeling

you are counting on a wedding.

I mean, you say you like each other.

Sure, we like each other,

and what's all this talk about me starting a new life?

You make it seem like the life I have is so bad.

Florida, this may come as a shock to you, honey,

but I've got a good life, and I'm enjoying myself.

I was only trying to help.

Florida,

where is it written

that every woman has got to be married,

or she's a nobody, hmm?

You know, it's really funny.

A man over 30 who's unmarried, the world calls him a "swinger."

A woman over 30 who's unmarried, they call her an "old maid."

Now, I am not knocking families and kids,

but that is just not my bag.

Oh, Willona,

how could you say that,

the way you feel about our kids?

Florida, I love those three characters,

honey,

but if I had to raise them, I'd be climbing the walls.

Florida, you know, when I was married,

I figured I might be pregnant one day,

so I went down to one of those Red Cross schools

to try to learn about raising babies.

Mm-hmm.

Now, would you believe I flunked "Talcum Powder"?

Oh, come on, Willona.

No, Florida, let's face facts.

There are different strokes for different folks.

That's all.

Now, you take my cooking as an example.

You know my cooking is so bad

that the alley cats picket the garbage pail?

All right, I shouldn't have interfered.

I should have known better.

That's okay, honey,

because I know

where you was coming from,

but you've got to promise me something.

Please, don't worry about me, because I am fine.

But--

Hey, honey, I know I'm alone sometime,

but there's a big difference

between being alone and being lonely.

And the one thing I ain't is lonely.

Well, I know you understand, honey.

Now, Willona got a dude waiting on her,

so come on.

Come on, man.

Dwayne, dear, I am ready whenever you are.

Okay, honey, I'm ready too.

Hey, Willona. Huh?

What was going on in there?

Oh, nothing, James, just a little girl talk.

I'll see ya later.

Have a good time.

Have a nice time.

Well, James, you were right and I was wrong.

Do me a favor. Hmm?

The next time I open my mouth

and try to do any matchmaking,

shut it up real fast.

All this time,

I ain't found but one way to shut your mouth.

Hey, I got some big news for you.

I just left Willona's,

and she and Dwayne were out again last night.

Oh, Ma, that's not big news. They been out six times already.

The big news is Dwayne proposed.

Now, that's big news.

Florida, I hope you're finally satisfied

now that you done finally fricasseed Dwayne's chicken.

His chicken is still in the pot.

Willona didn't turn on the flames.

She said no.

She turned him down?

Now I guess you realize she meant it

when she said she didn't want to get married again.

Where Willona get off being so high and mighty,

turning down a good solid dude like Dwayne?

Well, baby, he ain't got nothing to worry about.

If he's serious about getting married,

there's this nice girl down at the car wash,

got a good steady job, good-looking.

She'd appreciate somebody like Dwayne too.

I'm going to see that they get together,

because one...

What you doing?

Shutting your mouth, matchmaker.

Takes one to know one.

Then shut my mouth.

[***]

[***]

* Mm-mm-mm *

* Just lookin' Out of the window *

* Watching the asphalt grow *

* Thinkin' how It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good times Good times *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs Good times *

ANNOUNCER: Good Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em *

* Good times **