Original subtitles

* Good Times Any time you meet a payment *

* Good Times *

* Any time You need a friend *

* Good Times *

* Any time You're out from under *

* Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

* Easy credit ripoffs *

* Good Times *

* Scratchin' and survivin' *

* Good Times *

* Hangin' in A chow line *

* Good Times *

* Ain't we lucky We got 'em *

* Good Times *

On the for real side, man,

I can't wait for the action tonight.

We gonna be on them Warlords like white on rice.

Yeah, man. We really gonna waste those chumps bad tonight.

Hey, you with us tonight, J.J.?

Well, I would like to join you gentlemen

in this evening's activities,

but unfortunately, you see,

I have an emergency dental appointment.

My baby tooth is starting to cut through my gums.

See it's right in here. Oh, the pain.

Hey, man. You trying to tell us you still got your baby teeth?

Well, I can't help it if my body grew faster than my baby teeth.

Man, where you gonna find a dentist

at 8:00 on a Saturday night?

I don't know, but that's what makes it an emergency.

J.J., Mad Dog handed down the word.

Now, you been a Satan's Knight for three months now,

and you copped out every time we was getting ready to go down.

You cop out tonight...

instead of going to the dentist,

you'll be able to mail in your teeth.

Since you put it that way,

I can put my baby tooth a little further back

on my priority list.

Now you talking, man, because we need everybody we can get.

Right on. See, because when we get finished

wiping out them Warlords,

Satan's Knights will be the baddest gang in Chicago.

Right on, man. Right on.

We gotta get them for last time.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, they put a hurting on us last time.

Fifteen Satan's Knights stretched out and two dead.

Yeah, two dead.

Two dead?

Well, see, I'm a Sagittarius,

and my horoscope says today's a bad day for bleeding.

Cool the jive, J.J.

You better be there.

Yeah, you better be there.

We'll be here to pick you up at 8:00,

and Mad Dog is gonna be with us.

And don't nobody say no to Mad Dog.

Think on that for a while.

Hello, Mrs. Evans. Hello, Mrs. Evans.

Hello there, Sylvester. Tyrone.

Well, why are y'all standing here in the hall?

J.J., why don't you invite your friends in?

Oh, you see, Mrs. Evans, we were just leaving.

We came by to invite J.J. to a dance tonight.

Yeah.

Oh, that's nice. You boys have a nice time now.

Thank you, Mrs. Evans, we will.

Bye, Mrs. Evans.

Bye, now.

Well, goodbye.

Don't forget, J.J. 8:00.

And you better be ready,

or your folks will need a program

to know who you are.

Hey, Junior.

What's wrong with you?

I seen accident victims look happier than you do.

Nothing, Dad. Nothing to worry about.

He's probably trying to figure out

which one of his girls

he's gonna take to the dance tonight.

His friends just invited him.

Yeah? You gonna take Henrietta, son?

Nah, Dad. I ain't taking no girl.

You going stag?

Yeah, I expect to be doing a lot of staggering.

Now, J.J., there isn't gonna be any drinking is there?

No, Ma, just a lot of punch.

That's nice.

You go and get washed up for dinner.

Okay, Mom.

Speaking of dinner, baby. What we got to eat tonight?

Lobster Neuberg.

Huh?

Translation: cornbread and greens.

Yeah, but we usually have some meat on Saturday night.

Well, I took one look at what they had

in the meat market and I passed.

What was wrong with it?

It was okay, if you like your meat

a deep, golden brown before it's cooked.

And the vegetables ain't no better.

The beets are bushed, the spinach is spent,

and the Brussels don't sprout.

But the prices sure do.

You know something, baby?

The only thing keeping this country

from going to the dogs?

The price of dog food.

Everythingis out of line.

You know, I stopped in to get you a nice tie,

and I had to go as high as $1.75.

Oh, now Florida, what you getting me a tie for, baby?

I already got a tie.

That old stringy black tie you wear to funerals?

Ain't none of them people they buried complained about it.

Ah, but this is not a funeral we going to.

It's not an ending. It's a beginning.

I still can't get over little Charlie McDaniel.

All grown up and opening his own law office.

Yeah, doing it in style too.

Giving a party for all the folks who knew him

since he was a little bitty boy.

That's why I wanted to get you a good-looking tie.

How you like it?

That's fine, baby. Is that silk?

For $1.75?

That ain't even minimum wages to a silkworm.

Yeah, this is real nice, baby, thank you.

Hey, what you wearing to the thing?

Well, I tried on my old cocktail dress

and I had to take it in a little at the waist.

I'm very happy to report

I've gone down from a quart to a fifth.

What you say?

Well I say you still one hundred proof

and you still go to my head.

Hey, you ain't exactly Coolidge yourself.

Michael, stop cheating now.

I'm not cheating, Thelma.

What y'all two doing?

What does it look like we're doing?

Playing Monopoly.

See, Michael,

and you said he wouldn't be able to figure it out.

Thelma, you owe me for landing on Liberia.

Michael, I told you to call it Park Place.

I made it African.

Brothers don't own nothing on Park Place.

Well, I feel weird saying I wanna buy

two hotels for Ghana.

Is something wrong, J.J.?

You haven't opened your mouth for almost 20 seconds.

Something must be wrong.

Now it's 25 seconds, and for you that's a record.

Okay, I'll tell you.

I got myself a heavy problem

and I need a lot of brain power to solve it.

Oh?

So, Thelma, why don't you leave the room

so we can eliminate the dead wood.

Now he's back to normal.

J.J., this is my room and I'm staying.

Anyway, how do you know I can't help?

Because you'll tell.

Me? I won't tell, I swear.

Oh, J.J., you got my word. I promise I won't tell.

Okay. I'm a member of the Satan Knights.

Ooh, I'm gonna tell!

Hold on!

Hey, J.J., I thought you were too smart

to get mixed up with something as dumb as gangs.

I didn't choose them, Michael. They chose me.

One day in school, Neckbone and Mad Dog cornered me

and explained the benefits

of the Satan Knights health and accident insurance plan.

They said that if I didn't join, they had a plan

to insure that I had an accident to my health.

But you really haven't been running with them, have you?

No, I mainly been running from them.

But today they getting down with the Warlords,

and Mad Dog hisself is coming personally

to see that I participate.

Boy I wish I could declare amnesty

before I went to war.

Why don't you just say no?

I tried that once

and I almost collected on my insurance policy.

Hmm. Charlie's invitation sure is fancy.

It don't even say, "Bring your own bottle."

Baby, it smells like dinner is ready.

I'm so hungry I got hunger pains shooting all through my stomach.

All right, when your pains start coming three minutes apart,

I'll rush you over to McDonald's.

I don't think I can make it to the Big Mac delivery room.

Okay, I'll put dinner out.

You know, I still can't get over Charlie.

A lawyer.

That just goes to prove, even in this neighborhood,

nothing can keep you from reaching the top

unless you let it.

That's right, baby.

All these kids going wrong, it sure gives you a kick

when you see a young brother making something out of himself.

You got a few good kicks coming

if I know those three kids we got back there.

Yeah.

Hey, we making such a big deal about Charlie being a lawyer,

we almost forgot that Michael's a sure bet

for the Supreme Court.

I sure makes good babies.

The wonder is, you did it all alone.

That little girl that you made all by yourself

is pretty special too.

Yeah, that's because she takes after her mama.

Aww.

You know Thelma's got a lot of promise, baby.

I bet she could be a lawyer too if she wanted to.

Well, just imagine that.

The first brother and sister on the Supreme Court.

Hot damn. What a family.

And don't forget Kid Dy-no-mite.

He's making a special place for himself with his paintings.

Yeah, I gotta admit though,

I was worried about Junior there for a while.

Seemed like he had oatmeal in his head.

Oh, James.

But he got himself straightened out.

Yes sir. We got us some family.

Them kids didn't have no easy road, baby.

But they traveling right now.

You're right.

That's because they had me to guide them.

And I did it all by myself, huh?

Hey, J.J., you can get killed going against the Warlords.

Yeah, I won a fight with my fist once in a while,

but when it comes to guns, never.

I'll tell you one thing I like about my body.

It ain't got no holes in it.

Well, too bad you can't say the same thing about your head.

You know, for once you're right, little sister.

Them Warlords are mean.

There must be 300 Warlords.

Five hundred.

How many Satan Knights are there?

One hundred.

According to the latest J.J. poll,

500 go into 100...

as many times as they want to.

I'm gonna tell Daddy about it.

Now hold on there, girl!

You know, J.J., if Daddy finds out what's happening, man,

he gonna kill you.

Problem number one.

And if Mama finds out you belong to a gang,

oh, J.J., it'll break her heart.

Problem number two.

And if you don't go to the fight tonight,

Mad Dog and all the Satan Knights

gonna be out to kill you.

Problem number three through 10.

FLORIDA: Children, dinner's ready.

And that's problem number 11.

How to get Mom and Dad out of the house

before Mad Dog and the gang get here.

Come on, children.

Ooh, that looks good.

What were you all doing back there so long?

Just rapping.

Oh, that's nice.

J.J., say the blessing.

Thank you, Lord, for the food we are about to receive.

And may he continue to receive it

while he's at the receiving hospital.

What's that supposed to mean, Thelma?

Dad-- Uh, nothing, Dad.

Uh, nothing.

She's just trying to provide a little entertainment.

And, uh, speaking of entertainment,

as everyone seems to be these days,

what are you two lovely parents doing this p.m.?

It was a choice between turning on the TV

and watching the fights

or opening the window and listening to them.

The TV won.

You mean you gonna watch TV on that old set?

That picture's got so much snow in it,

Redd Fox comes out white.

Why don't y'all go to the movies,

see something on a big widescreen,

stereophonic sound and color.

Junior, you must be joking. $2.50 a ticket?

I rate all them movies TD, for Too Damn Expensive.

Pass the hot sauce.

Come on, Ma and Dad, live it up.

You deserve a night out. That's right.

There are a lot of good movies playing.

Blackbell Jones, Blacula, Black Godfather, Six Black Men.

They all sound like violent pictures to me.

I don't like violence.

But when they get off the screen,

they're still able to walk out alive.

There's a comedy out with James Earl Jones

and Diahann Carrol called Claudine.

James Earl Jones is a garbage man,

and she's on welfare.

Julia on welfare?

Ooh, boy. This I got to see.

Honey, we haven't been to a movie in a long time.

Wanna go?

Well... I'll pop for the popcorn.

Small size.

Why not? It'll do us good to get out the house.

It's just kinda nice of you kids

to want to see us have a good time.

That's all right. Don't mention it.

I'll wash the dishes. And I'll dry.

And I'll say the grace.

After the meal?

Yeah, suddenly I feel the need for a prayer.

[KNOCKING]

That's them.

I'll get it.

Michael, maybe we shouldn't answer it.

We got to sooner or later.

You think J.J.'s plan has a chance?

It better.

Or J.J. don't have a chance.

Who you supposed to be?

I'm Michael, J.J.'s brother.

Okay.

You tell your brother that we're here, dwarf.

Yeah, we're here, dwarf.

J.J.?

Something is here to see you.

Who's the fox?

She's my sister.

Hey, sweet thing, I'm Mad Dog. What's your name?

Thelma.

Thelma?

Thelma. Thelma.

Where you get a weird name like Thelma?

When I was born, my mama took one look at me

and called me Thelma.

Just like your mama took one look at you

and called you Mad Dog.

Hey, Mad Dog. You want me to punch her out, man?

Hey, man. You better leave my sister alone, Boneneck.

It's Neckbone, brother.

Hey, hey. Be cool, man.

We got no time to go through changes with the fox.

J.J., I'm waiting on you, man!

Hi, fellas.

What's the matter with you, man?

I'm sick, man. Real sick.

Yeah, he's running a fever.

That's right. How high is it now, J.J.?

I dunno, Thelma, but it says,

"To be continued on the next thermometer."

Neckbone? Yeah?

Go see what that thing says.

Yeah, Dog.

Hey, man, I wouldn't get too close. It's catching.

Get out the way, brother.

He got chills and everything.

He's gotta get back in bed. He can't go anywhere tonight.

Yeah, I'm supposed to go into emergency surgery

as soon as they find the right color thread.

98.6, same as his weight.

Ah!

You playing the nut role.

Yeah, you playing the nut role.

The only sickness you got is chicken fever.

And if you don't get well real quick,

me and this .22 are gonna make it fatal.

All of a sudden my temperature just went down 22 degrees.

Right back to normal.

Get yourself together, blood. We got to move.

We moving?

Moving right along.

This here crib is really sharp.

Yeah, it's really sharp. Yeah.

We'll have to up J.J.'s dues a couple of bucks a month.

I hear it.

Anybody live this good can afford it.

Hey, man. Leave our stuff alone.

Our mom and dad don't like nobody

messing with our stuff.

Your daddy?

You mean your old man still stays here with y'all?

Sure.

Well, my old man split right after I was born.

Hmm. I don't blame him.

Come on, man. Let me drive on this chick, man.

Now, I told you to save it.

We got no time for preliminaries.

We got a main event with the Warlords, remember?

You brothers shouldn't be fighting other brothers anyway.

Ain't you ever heard of black unity?

Black unity?

Yeah, ain't that a rock group

that play over on the South Side?

Rock group on the South Side!

Not at all hard to do!

It means black people ain't going nowhere

until we stop fighting and learn to work together.

My brother's right.

Every time you fight, it not only hurts you,

but don't you know it hurts our whole community?

So what? What do you mean, so what?

So why don't you just call this whole thing off?

What you say, brother?

I say I ain't your brother. That's what I say.

Besides, fighting helps to make a man out of you.

Ain't that right, Mad Dog?

Damn right.

When is it gonna start helping you?

You asking for trouble--

[YELLS]

Kung fu karate chop suey. Let's do it, y'all. Come on.

J.J., have you lost the little bit of mind you have?

Out of my way, girl!

I'm gonna break bones, kick some butts!

All right. Now you with it.

I am a Satan Knight. All right!

Right on, J.J. Ha, ha, yeah!

Sure got together fast there, J.J.

Uh, I'm raring to go.

Don't hold me back. What's the plan?

Simple. We just sneak in they territory and start popping.

How you plan on sneaking 100 dudes in their territory?

Dressed as welfare workers?

Come on, let's go.

Yeah, let's get it on, man.

Uh, don't y'all wanna hear my plan?

What plan?

Huh. Glad you asked.

Thelma, take notes of this great plan.

Michael, guard the door

and make sure nobody hears this great plan.

Here is the first leg of the greatest plan in the world.

First we sneak into their territory.

I already said that.

Uh, that's the good part.

See, so we gonna be close to the Cook County General Hospital

so we won't have to go so far for treatment.

You trying to stall, J.J.?

No, I just wanna make sure I lay the plan on y'all.

Now, here is the plan.

Uh... here is the plan.

You already said that.

Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, Yeah I just wanted to make sure

y'all was paying attention.

Uh, Thelma?

Score Mad Dog a hundred for paying attention.

Spit it out.

Uh, this is the plan that won World War II.

Personally endorsed by George C. Scott.

[UNINTELLIGIBLE]

Wait, I got something important to say!

What?

I don't wanna go.

[CLAMORING]

James, we could have waited a little while longer.

Freeze our butts off waiting in that line?

We can do that at home free of charge.

I guess you're right.

But the kids gonna be so disappointed.

Well...

FLORIDA: J.J.!

Ma, Dad, I thought y'all went to the movies.

We was, but we changed our mind.

What's going on here?

Well, what you doing dressed like this?

And Tyrone, Sylvester, why are you holding him?

Well, like I told you, Mom, I'm going to this dance,

and these are my escorts.

Well, y'all turn him loose.

Hey, man. Get out of the way.

We got business with the Warlords.

Boy, I don't give a damn who you got business with.

My son ain't going to no gangfight.

What the hell you doing getting mixed up with a gang?

I ain't-- J.J., you're in a gang?

No, Ma. They chose me. I didn't choose them.

I told y'all now. Turn him loose.

And I told you to get on, old man.

Who do you think you're talking to that way?

I'm Mad Dog, dig it, head of Satan's Knights War Council.

Is that supposed to be something big?

You heard what I said.

Mad Dog, you don't get your hand out of my wife's face,

I'm gonna slap a muzzle on you.

Now, Junior ain't going to no gangfight.

Junior ain't got no choice!

Hey now, watch out!

[J.J. YELLS]

JAMES: Junior! Somebody call an ambulance.

Call an ambulance! Please, do something!

Call an ambulance!

J.J., say something, baby.

Somebody's been shot.

James, he fainted. Do something. Call somebody.

Quick, call an ambulance!

Get us some help, please!

WOMAN: Who shot him?

ANNOUNCER: You have just seen part one of "J.J. and the Gang."

Stay tuned for scenes from next week's show.

Now, baby, all I need is five minutes alone with that Mad Dog.

Just five minutes with him.

But Daddy, that's only gonna cause more trouble.

And besides, after the court hearing,

they'll put Mad Dog away where he belongs.

Yea, the same as Neckbone and that other character.

They still walking the street.

Now, James, before you do anything you'll be sorry for,

remember what the Good Book said,

"Turn the other cheek."

Well you let Mad Dog turn the other cheek,

Refer to me as Your Honor. Don't call me "Man."

I was giving you the benefit of the doubt.

Baby, I done told you,

you ain't got nothing to do with this no more.

This between me and Mad Dog. One on one.

[WHISTLING]

What are you doing eating pretzels for breakfast?

Baby, don't think of these as pretzels.

Think of them as Mad Dog's finger.

ANNOUNCER: Be sure to watch Good Times next week

for the conclusion of "J.J. and the Gang."

[***]

[***]

* Mmm *

* Just lookin' Out of the window *

* Watching the asphalt grow *

* Thinkin' how It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good Times Good Times *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs Good Times *

ANNOUNCER: Good Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

* Ain't we lucky We got 'em *

* Good Times **