Original subtitles

* Good times Any time you meet a payment *

* Good times Any time you need a friend *

* Good times any time You're out from under *

* Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave when you can *

* Temporary lay offs Good times *

* Easy credit ripoffs Good times *

* Scratchin' and survivin' Good times *

* Hangin' in a chow line Good times *

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em *

* Good times **

Hey, Thelma, you just ate my model.

Sorry, J.J.

That's the only apple we had left in the house.

Paint a banana.

Mama, I'm an artist, I gotta paint what I feels--

and today I feel apples.

Well, if you feel apple how come you always acting bananas?

Can't you paint half an apple? You got half a brain...

Oh, get out of there.

Children.

Ma, my whole artistic mood is ruined.

What I'm gonna do for the rest of the day? I'm desperate!

Do your homework.

I ain't that desperate.

The phone is still dead, Mom.

I know, Thelma, your daddy's out

trying to raise money to pay the bill now.

Willona's taking messages for us,

didn't you give her number to your friends?

Yeah, but none of my boyfriends called yet.

Huh, that figures,

your boyfriends are so dumb they probably

can't remember more than one number.

Look who's talking! How about the chicks you go out with?

I don't have to worry about my chicks,

because they don't have to remember no number.

They can knock on my door.

If they can find the door.

The door is right there.

All right, children, I want you to stop it.

You kids only have your social life to worry about.

I've got to worry about a part-time job

that's being messed up.

[KNOCKING]

By the time that department store reaches me

the part-time job will be no time.

Good afternoon.

Yes?

My name is Henry Anderson, and I have a free gift for you.

Well, even if it's free we can't afford it.

Ma'am I'm sure you'll find it interesting,

it's a calendar with important dates of black history.

Black history?

Take it, Mama. It's free.

Yeah, but I got a feeling

what he got in his briefcase ain't.

I am selling something, ma'am,

but I'd still like the boy to have this free calendar.

He sounds like a true soul brother.

Here you are, son.

Thank you.

If you like that, I'm sure you'll find it

really interesting what I'm selling.

It's an entire encyclopedia of black history.

Black encyclopedia?

Fantastic, we sure could use one around here.

Now wait a minute, Michael,

I'm only up to E in the white encyclopedia.

Let's take one color at a time.

Oh, you have another son?

Yes.

If you'd just let me come in, I'd like to talk to you.

I am not interested.

May I sit down?

In somebody else's apartment.

Now, will you leave?

Mama, he's B-L-I-N-D.

But, Michael, he can still H-E-A-R.

J.J.!

Here's your briefcase and... Thank you.

...I'm sorry we were so rude. Please sit down.

Oh, it's nothing to get upset about,

just treat me like anybody else.

I may be an unsighted person,

but I still have my other senses to compensate.

For instance, I'd say the young man

is 12 years old, about five feet

and extremely intelligent.

Thank you, how'd you know that?

I know a lot of things.

Sometimes I can see things sighted people can't.

How do I look?

Well, from the direction of your voice

I'd say you're quite tall,

and from the confidence with which you ask the question,

very handsome.

This man can see things sighted people can't see.

There's also a young lady in the room.

Yeah, that's right. I'm Thelma, but how did you know I was here?

By your perfume.

Yeah, she's wearing Lily of the Ghetto.

I can tell by your voice that you're very pretty.

Mr. Anderson, you just blew your winning streak.

Mr. Anderson, what does Mama look like?

Well, from the moment I heard her at the door

I knew that she was kind, warm, youthful and very charming.

Mr. Anderson, can I get you a cup of coffee?

Please, don't put yourself to any trouble.

Oh, it's just my way of thanking you

for not mentioning my weight.

I'm sure that you have a very lovely figure.

You just won yourself a donut too.

Mr. Anderson, can you tell me more about these books?

This set of encyclopedias is for you, Michael.

This is only volume one,

the whole set contains 10 volumes.

It covers everything from Crispus Attucks to Malcolm X.

Oh, wow, look at this!

Here you are, Mr. Anderson,

this is your coffee,

and the donut is right in front of you.

Thank you, Mrs...? Evans.

Mama, come here, look at this.

It says here that when George Washington

crossed the Delaware he had two black men with him.

Hey, that's a switch,

the two black dudes are sitting and George is standing.

I never knew this! This is terrific.

Take it easy, Michael, don't get too carried away.

Hey, Ma, listen to this.

It says a black scout named James Armistead

saved General Lafayette and his men from capture by the British.

Hmm, I can just imagine him now

standing there in a 1776 Cadillac.

Lafayette, we's here.

Mom, this book is great.

Mr. Anderson, you got anything

in that book about black artists?

I knew you'd ask that question.

You're an artist yourself, aren't you?

Of course.

I can smell the paint.

I'm sure you're a fine artist too.

Hey, this dude is too much.

First he knows I'm handsome, now he knows I'm talented.

Boy, this guy's got the Six Million Dollar Man

beat by five million dollars.

We're very proud of our section on black artists.

Charles White, Ernie Barnes, Henry O. Tanner.

Oh, maybe next year I'll be written up in one of your books.

Only if there's a section on black fools.

It'd be under T for Thelma.

Mr. Anderson, does the encyclopedia

have anything about the theatre?

Oh yes, a very extensive section, Thelma.

It covers James Baldwin, Lorraine Hansberry,

has biographies of Marion Anderson,

Leontyne Price, Paul Roberson...

Wow, Mama, doesn't that sound out of sight?

I got a feeling the cost is out of sight too.

Oh, Mrs. Evans, it's not as expensive as you'd think.

We have a special easy payment plan.

Could you afford, say, $20 down and $5 a week?

The $20 down is impossible

and the $5 a week is tougher than that.

You're such a wonderful family,

how about $5 down and $2 a week?

Two dollars a week?

Oh, Ma, can't we stretch our budget?

Child, we ain't got no budget.

All we got is a cookie jar with some pennies and prayers--

and by the end of the week it's down to prayers.

You're missing a wonderful opportunity, Mrs. Evans.

Now it only costs $109,

next week it'll be up to $250.

Yeah, Mama, we better act fast.

Hey, Mama, we could do it,

I won't buy so much perfume and hair spray.

And I'll make the supreme sacrifice,

I'll give up my weekly Big Mac.

Oh, please, Mama, if you buy us these books

I'll never ask for anything again as long

as I live in my whole life.

Come on, Mama, we can do it, I'll save.

Please, Mama, come on.

Wait a minute, children, that's a lot of money.

Ma, I'll save too.

[INDISTINGUISHABLE]

James, I'm glad you're here.

Oh?

We got company.

Yeah, well if it's a bill collector

you better tell him to get to the end of the line.

He's selling something.

Selling something?

Baby, you must be kidding. I been out scuffling trying

to raise money to pay the bills we got now,

didn't come up with but $5, and you're in here

listening to some slick pitch from a jive dude.

Plus you're serving him the last donut

I was saving for myself when I got home.

James, let me explain.

Well, look here, man, I don't know what you're selling,

but we ain't buying nothing.

So you might as well pack up your bag and get on out of here.

Daddy, he's selling encyclopedias,

it's the whole history of black people.

Yeah? Well, the history of these black people

is that we can't afford to buy no encyclopedias

about the history of them black people.

Now split, man.

Hey daddy, you shouldn't talk to him that way.

I don't need you telling me how to talk to no fancy peddler.

Oh, Ma.

Michael, may I have the book, please?

Well, will you listen to Mr. Saddity?

"Michael, may I have the book, please?" What is that?

Mr. Anderson, can we still keep the calendar?

Sure, it's yours, enjoy it, son.

Thank you.

Under the circumstances

maybe I'd better come back another time.

Yeah, try July 1985.

James.

Well, what kind of clumsy ox

you all done brought in here?

Knocking over furniture, stumbling and bumbling around?

How you expect somebody to buy something you selling

you can't even... Daddy!

He's blind.

I'm sorry, I didn't know.

Why didn't somebody say something?

What you all just standing around for?

Thelma, get the man another cup of coffee.

No, no please, don't bother.

Sit down, please Mr. Anderson, I'm sorry.

What you selling?

An encyclopedia of Black history, Mr. Evans.

It's $109, James.

But it's only $5 down and $2 a week, Daddy.

It tells the whole story of black people.

Yeah, from slavery to Shaft.

From "Lift that bale, tote that barge,"

to "Get your hands off me, honky."

Mr. Evans, your children can have

the whole cultural history of our race

right at their fingertips.

Yeah, well we always did want the kids

to get a good education.

What you think, baby?

I don't know, James, it's up to you.

Well, $2 a week ain't going to make or break us.

All right, Mr. Anderson, you got yourself a deal.

[CHEERING]

If you'll just sign this contract on the bottom line.

All right.

I'll deliver the entire set

to you personally this evening.

And, Mr. Anderson, here's the five for the down.

You'll have to excuse the condition of the wrinkled money,

had to do a lot of squeezing to get it.

Thank you, and here's your copy of the contract.

It's awfully nice meeting you and your family, Mr. Evans.

Same here.

Let me show you to the door, Mr. Anderson.

Thank you.

Nice talking to all of you.

Bye.

Goodbye, Mr. Anderson.

I'll be back this evening.

All right, we'll see you.

I mean, we'll be here.

Oh James, that was a nice thing to do, helping out a blind man.

Oh, baby, that ain't had nothing to do with it.

I just thought it would be a good idea

to have some decent history books around here for the kids.

You know this paper here could be the road to culture.

Thank you, Daddy.

Yeah, it sure will be nice to have them books.

Yeah, uh-uh.

Hey baby, I see something I don't like here.

What is it, James, what?

It says there is an extra $1 a week carrying charge,

$3 credit investigation charge,

and if we miss two payments in a row

there's a $20 penalty charge.

Then they got a final balloon payment

that's going to blow us away.

We just make sure we don't miss any payments.

Yeah, like we didn't miss

any payments to the telephone company, huh?

Oh lord, now look, I know this is bad news.

What?

The print on it's so fine you need

a magnifying glass to read it.

Look here, "The seller has a lien on the purchaser's chattel"

Now I know we're the purchaser, but who the hell is chattel?

They must have spelled it wrong.

They probably think we're rich Texans and they meant cattle.

Chattel means everything we own: Furniture, stove, refrigerator,

TV, clothes, everything!

Ma, they can take everything!

James, what have we signed?

I got a feeling we gonna be an unfurnished naked family.

How could a brother rip us off?

It's easy, Michael.

Don't forget now,

Benedict Arnold was somebody's brother too.

Well, baby, that was some fine meal.

Well, thank the lord we had enough to eat.

Yeah, but you know if we go for that encyclopedia

hokey-doke, this table going to be down to poke and grits.

What's poke and grits, Daddy?

Son, that's when you ain't got nothing to eat,

you poke out your lips and grit your teeth.

It's all my fault.

No.

It's not your fault, baby, we're all to blame.

We were just trying to help out a blind man.

Yeah, if he's blind.

What you mean by that, James?

Oh, now think about it, baby.

This cat comes in here fumbling and stumbling,

bumps into a few things, tells us he's blind

and we fall for the jive.

And me signing that contract,

I fell for it worse than anybody,

gave him the last $5 I had.

Now wait a minute, y'all.

I got a great idea how we can get out of this thing.

Listen to this, we lock the door,

pack our bags, and before he gets here

we go down to the Ambassador East Hotel,

get a suite and lay there until this thing blows over!

J.J., where we going to get the money

to stay at the Ambassador East?

I took the ball to the one-yard line,

let somebody else carry it over for the touchdown.

It's Willona's answering service

with the latest batch of messages

for the Evans family.

Not that I'm complaining, James,

but what is happening with the telephone?

Nothing, I ain't paid the bill.

Oh...

Any calls for me, Willona?

There sure was, honey,

Eddie called, he wants to take you

to the basketball game Saturday night.

Oh, really?

Uh-huh, and Jimmy called,

he wants to take you to the basketball game Saturday night.

Uh-oh.

And Larry called, he wants to take you

to the basketball game Saturday night.

What, all three of them?

Mm-hmm. Oh no, what I'm going to do now?

Are you hip to eeny, meeny, miny, moe?

Well, now that we dispensed with the small fry,

let's get onto the biggie.

Yeah. Anyway.

J.J.?

Yes, Ma?

I'll give you a "Yes, Ma."

Lay it on me, Willona,

how many females been calling panting

for their Saturday evening reservations

with Kid Dy-no-mite?

You had one call, Fred Thompson.

Oh, Fred Thompson?

Now, Fred Thompson is worth millions of Thelma calls.

My main man, Fred. My down home partner, Fred!

What my main running mate want?

He wants you to ask Thelma

to go to the basketball game with him Saturday night.

Looks like Kid Dy-no-mite is a wet firecracker.

And Flo, you had one call from Thora Fuller.

You know your friend that's had 11 kids

and about to have another one any day?

Well, what was the message?

Help! Oh, Willona!

And James, you had a call from the carwash.

Oh good, they want me to come in

tomorrow for the weekend business, huh?

No, they're expecting a heavy rainstorm,

they're not even going to open the place up.

Boy that's great, just great!

Take on debt and lose, you pay.

Tell you, if it wasn't for bad luck,

we wouldn't have no luck at all. Damn.

See, White folks is right, we are happy carefree people.

Wa-ow!

* Camptown ladies sing this song Doo-da, doo-da *

* Camptown ladies Five miles long **

Hey Willona, could you wind down?

I could wino!

I'll see you all later.

Okay. That girl's crazy.

You know something, baby, that about rips it, though.

With no weekend money coming from the carwash,

ain't no way in the world we can afford them encyclopedias now.

When that dude gets here with that phony hustle tonight,

we just gonna have to sock it to him.

But, James, we could be wrong,

how do we know he isn't really blind?

Florida, I bet you that dude could see a roach

tap dancing a mile away.

[KNOCKING]

Wait, let me get it, baby.

Junior, get on the floor and lay down by the door.

Now, I'm going to show you just how blind this cat is.

Oh, James.

I said lay down on the floor by the door, man.

Oh, come on, Dad, I ain't laying down on no floor.

I beg your pardon?

I was just laying down on the floor.

Come in.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Uh-huh, uh-huh, see?

I told you, you satisfied now?

Man, I done seen some cons in my time,

but you take the cake trying to run

that phony blind job on us.

If you're talking about that person laying there

on the floor, I heard him breathing.

Oh, now come on. I wasn't breathing, Dad, honest.

I heard him breathing clearly.

Do you think I'd pretend I lost

one of God's most precious gifts?

You think I'd commit a blasphemy

like that just to sell an encyclopedia?

Damn right.

We can't be sure.

Maybe this will convince you,

it's a Photostat copy of my Army medical records.

This happened in Korea.

Korea?

Yeah, the Yalu River, 91st Recon.

91st Recon?

Hey, man, you the cats that replaced us.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Hey look, I hate to ask you to get me out of another hole,

man, but we can't deal with that contract,

you all got too many clauses in it.

You got clauses in there to turn us every which way but loose.

And the company's going to take away everything we've got

if we can't keep up them payments.

Hey, that's terrible, I didn't know nothing about them clauses.

Look, I'd like to tear your contract up, but I can't.

I already turned in a signed copy of it to my boss.

Well, what are we going to do?

We're not blaming you, but we're in a lot of trouble.

Don't worry, Mrs. Evans,

I'm not going to let that company

take advantage of you good people.

I'm going to call up my boss right now

and get him to straighten this thing out.

Where's the phone, please?

Well, it's right over here.

Oh, but you can't do that...

No problem, I dial by feel.

No, no...

I'll settle this with my boss right now.

No, Mr. Anderson, you don't understand,

my wife is trying to explain...

Anderson here, Mr. Fields, please.

Mr. Fields, Anderson.

Say I'm over here at the...

Say, I'm over here at the Evans' place

and they tell me there are some irregularities

in their encyclopedia contract.

No, I want you to tear that contract up

and call the whole thing off.

But you can't do that, Fields, you're cheating these people.

No, you listen to me,

if you don't tear up that contract, I--

He hung up on me.

That makes me mad enough, I ought to just quit.

Man, you quit when you picked up that phone.

You know something, man,

you ain't nothing but a no-good phony hustler.

What are you talking about?

Mr. Anderson, can you read Braille?

Of course.

Good, what do this say?

You ought to be ashamed of yourself,

making fake phone calls.

I don't understand what you're talking about.

No, well maybe you'll understand this.

Hello, operator, give me the police.

Police, I want the Bunko squad.

Hello, Bunko squad?

We've got a blind man here who is full of bunk.

Sure, I'll hold on for a minute.

You've got sixty seconds, and then I'm turning you in.

And give me my $5, man.

Look here.

Hello, police, it was a false alarm, sorry.

Mr. Anderson, goodbye.

Hey, just tell me one thing.

What's that?

How'd you know my phone call was fake?

The phone is disconnected.

Ah, then your call was fake too?

That's right.

So you out-conned me?

Have mercy.

Wow, how could you do that to a blind brother?

Mr. Anderson, you may be blind,

but you ain't no brother of ours.

You lie, you cheat, you steal.

You're a disgrace to blind people.

In fact, you're a disgrace to all people.

You through, Mrs. Evans?

Yeah.

Then let me tell you something:

Blind people are just like everybody else,

you take the good with the bad.

So long, brothers.

You know something, James?

I got a feeling he was blind long before he lost his sight.

Kids, I'm sorry about the books. I know how bad you wanted them.

That's all right, Dad, no problem.

And Ma, you were brilliant on that phone call.

You are the best actress I ever saw.

Thelma's right. What was she on the phone everybody?

She was dy-no-mite!

Hey, you ready for this, baby?

Here's a letter from the phone company asking us

if we'd like to switch to one of them push button

princess phones with a choice of colors.

Now listen now, including robin's egg blue,

sunflower yellow or boudoir beige.

Well, it was nice of them to ask,

but I think we better stick to basic black

and hope we can find basic green to pay for it.

[***]

[***]

* Mm-mm-mm *

* Just lookin' Out of the window *

* Watching the asphalt grow *

* Thinkin' how It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good times Good times *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs Good times *

ANNOUNCER: Good Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em *

* Good times **