All language subtitles for G.T.S01E11.The.TV.Commercial.540p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

ANNOUNCER:
From Television City
in Hollywood:

* Good Times *

* Any time you meet
A payment *

* Good Times *

* Any time you meet
A friend *

* Good Times *

* Any time you're
Out from under *

* Not getting hassled,
Not getting hustled *

* Keeping your head
Above water *

* Making a wave
When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

* Easy credit rip-offs *

* Good Times *

* Scratching and surviving *

* Good Times *

* Hanging in a chow line *

* Good Times *

* Ain't we lucky
We got 'em *

* Good Times *

Hey, Daddy,
listen to this.

Not now, Michael.

I got a big stack of bills
to get through.

Oh, let's see,
I'll pay this one,

stall this one,

have to argue
about this one,

and this one I'm gonna put
in the funny papers.

Lord, would you look at
this electric bill?

This is ridiculous.

Has the gas bill
gone up too, Daddy?

Oh, not too bad.

At least if you can't afford
to pay the electric bill,

you can still put
your head in the oven.

I think all the poor people
ought to get together

and send letters
of protest to Washington.

No way, son.

They stopped us from doing that
by raising the price of stamps.

If things are
getting rough, Daddy,

maybe I can get a part-time
job after school.

So could I.

Oh, no. You guys just
concentrate on your education.

I'll take care of
this family.

But thanks anyway,
'cause I appreciate the thought.

You know, me and your mama's
still pretty lucky.

We're lucky too, Dad.

Yeah, we got ourselves
some wonderful kids.

Hey, Dad,
I could use $18.

Well, two out of three
ain't bad.

What you need
$18 for?

A set of barbells!
Barbells?

Yeah, when I go to
the beach this summer,

I want to drive
the girls crazy

with my massive body.

I don't know what you
want with barbells.

With that skinny body
and that big head

and those big feet,
you look like a barbell.

Go ahead,
make fun of me, y'all.

But if I get
those barbells,

I may get me a job
as a lifeguard.

And if I like it,

I may even learn
how to swim.

Stop bumping your gums,
will ya?

I got enough problems.

Hey, who made a toll call
to Oak Park?

Not me!

I got to go
to the bathroom.

Junior, did you make
a toll call?

Well, Dad, see, what happened
is that I met this classy chick,

and when I called her,
I couldn't reverse the charges.

Otherwise, she would have
thought I was cheap.

I told her
I was the head of Motown.

I didn't lie,
'cause actually what I told her

was that I was
the head of No Town.

Junior, I got
a fat phone bill here

that's a result of
your playing Casanova.

Now the next time
you make a toll call,

you and me gonna go
to knuckle junction.

The boss of No Town.

Willona, have I got
something to tell you.

The most exciting thing
happened at the supermarket.

I still can't believe it.

Let me guess.

They got in some
fresh meat by mistake?

No, I was standing in
the vegetable section,

you know, thumping melons
and squeezing lettuce

and squishing squash,

when this man
walked over to me,

tapped me on my shoulder,

and said he was from
an advertising agency

that does TV commercials.

You're jiving.
No!

He said he needed
an honest face

to try to sell
their new product.

A TV commercial?

Ooh! What you say!

Rodney Allen Rippy,
eat your little heart out!

Hold on.

Oh, Florida,
that's outta sight.

The only trouble is when
you're watching television,

you won't be able to
run to the john

during the commercial,
'cause it might be you.

Take it easy now.
It's nothing definite yet.

He said he had to look
at some other faces

before he decided.

Then how can you lose?

If he's looking
for an honest face,

he's not gonna find a more
honest face than yours.

Oh, Willona.

I mean it.
You got the perfect face.

You got the kind of face they
look for in commercials now.

You got that nice plain,
ordinary, everyday face.

Thanks, Willona.

I mean it. They could
look for a month

and not find a plainer
face than yours.

Florida Evans, you got it
made in the shade,

Miss TV Star.

Oh, that'll be the day

when they have
Florida Evans on television.

I got to go.

Well, I still say
they gonna pick you,

'cause when it comes to
a plain, ordinary face--

Willona, I heard you
the first five times.

What I mean is, Florida,

they couldn't have found
a more beautiful one.

Hi, folks.

Hey, Ma,
let me help you.

Oh, thank you, baby.

Well, baby, you sure was
gone a long time.

James, I bet you
can't guess why.

Why?

The most exciting
thing happened!

I was standing
in the supermarket,

just standing there
and looking at the squash,

and a man asked me
to do a TV commercial.

What?
You gonna do a TV commercial?

You, Mama?

And why not?

This man was watching me

while I was walking
around at the market,

and he decided
he liked what he saw.

You ain't doing
no brassiere commercial.

James.

Ain't no wife of mine

advertising nothing
below the neck.

I'm sure he won't
be calling me.

But anyway,
he gave me his card

and told me he'd get in
touch with me if he needed me.

A card?
Let me see it.

I'm an expert
on cards, Mama.

Here it is.

Hey, look at that
fancy gold lettering.

Well, fancy or not,
let's not count our chickens.

I ain't got that job yet.

But, Mama, you said the man
was interested in you,

and they pay big for
commercials, Ma.

I'll bet you'll get
at least $100.

One hundred dollars?

Mmm-mmm!

Yeah, they'll probably put
Mama in some long evening gown,

stick her on
top of a mountain

with the wind blowing
through her hair.

Picks up a bottle
of ketchup

and smacks her lips.

And says,
"Mmm, dat's good!"

"Dat's good"?

It's a commercial.
She can't say, "dat's bad."

Mama's not going
to speak bad English

when she goes
on television.

Right, Ma?
Dat's right.

Ma, please!

Thelma, how you know they don't
want Mama to speak street talk?

Why you think they picked
a black woman anyway?

I don't care why
they picked her, JJ.

All I know is my mother
is not going to speak--

Thelma, baby,
don't worry about it.

If they let me go
on television,

ain't no way I'm gonna use
anything else but good English.

That's right, baby. Your
mother's a proud black woman.

If they ask her to say,
"Dat's right,"

she'd take that bottle
of ketchup and throw it

off that mountain
right into da ribber.

I don't like
to hear that, Dad.

If JJ says it again,

I'm gonna throw him
in da ribber.

Oh, Thelma baby,
we're just teasing.

Now you all got me on
television advertising ketchup

when I don't even know
the product is,

and the man
ain't even called yet.

He'll call, Mama.

And when you get paid,

I could use $18
for a set of barbells.

There he goes again--

"Skinny Sam,
the Gimme Man."

What barbells?

Mama, summer's coming on.
I need muscles.

When I put on a T-shirt
this summer,

I just don't want
to look like a T.

Now listen, all y'all.

If your mother gets
some money, it's all hers.

And, baby, you can spend it
any way you like--

gas bills, phone bills,
anything at all.

Thanks, James.

Now why don't we all get
our heads out of the cloud?

I'm still a mother
with a family,

and I'm late getting
dinner started.

Mama, did the man say when
he was gonna call you?

Well, he said
he'll call by 4:00

if they was
gonna use me.

It's ten after now.
Ten after?

Well, I guess won't
become the Mrs. Olsen

of the projects.

You know, baby,
it's all for the best.

You start off
doing TV commercials,

the next thing you know, you'll
be putting your footprints

in the cement at
Grauman's Chinese Theatre.

While you're doing that,
I'll be in the back

of the crowd walking
your French poodles.

Oh, James!

Ain't no way in the world
for me to embarrass you

by asking you to walk
my French poodles.

I'll let the chauffeur
do that.

Thank you.

You'll have to stay
at home

and babysit
with my Siamese cats!

You crazy!

Hey, that'd be groovy,

being the son
of a famous movie star.

I'd have my own Cadillac
to drive down

and get my food stamps.

I don't think
that's funny, JJ,

'cause if the man
had called,

Mama would have had
a golden opportunity.

Dat's right.

You ought to learn how
to speak English.

That's enough of that.
I want you to stop arguing.

[EVERYONE TALKS AT ONCE]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING]

[RING]

Answer the phone,
baby!

Uh-uh, James.

[RING]

Hello.

Yes, this is
the Evans' household.

Mrs. Evans?

Sure, just one moment,
please.

Baby, it's him!

Hello?

Yes, Mr. Moore.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Yes, I'll be home
this evening.

Mm-hm.

How much did you say?

Oh, my. Yes.

Good-bye, Mr. Moore.

Mama, what did he say?

Somebody get me
a glass of water.

Junior, get your mother
a glass of water!

Come on, baby,
sit down.

Tell me, what did he say?
What happened?

Well...
he said I got the job!

He said I'll be selling a new
product called Vita Brite,

and it's a health tonic,
and they're going to send over

the script with what
I have to say.

And then, James,
he said something

I don't think I heard right.
What?

About how much
they was gonna pay me.

They said something
about repeats

and reruns
and re-something-or-other.

And then he said
I could make as much as...

$5,000!

Whoo! All right!

Five thousand dollars?

JAMES:
Have mercy!

That's more than the president
of No Town makes!

I can't believe it!
Junior, give me that water.

Water?
For a big star like Mama?

She ain't drinking nothing
but the best from now on--

Kool-Aid!

Five thousand dollars?

[GIGGLING]

[GASPING FOR BREATH]
H-Hi, folks.

This is Florida Evans,
and I...

Oh, I won't be able to do that!
I just know I won't!

Oh, Mama,
listen to me!

I've been going to
the Community Workshop Theater,

and I can teach you all
there is to know about acting.

Just follow my directions.

Thelma, don't try
and change your mama, hear?

The commercial man said
he wanted what she was,

and what she was is
what he's gonna get.

And believe me,
that's mighty good.

I know that, Dad,
but it won't hurt

for her to speak like a real
TV commercial announcer.

Now, Ma, here's
a great diction exercise.

Just do what I do
and repeat after me, okay?

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

Come on, Ma.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

[WITH EXAGGERATED ENUNCIATION]
The br-own cow

has speck-led spots.

Come on, Mom,
now you can do it.

Right from the diaphragm.
Come on.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

[WITH EXAGGERATED ENUNCIATION]
The br-own cow...

[MOUTHING ALONG WITH FLORIDA]

...has speck-led spots.

That's all right!
That's all right!

I think we owe it
to the brothers

to make it
the black cow.

Michael, it ain't
gonna make no difference.

Brown cow or black cow,

the milk is still
gonna come out white.

And the money
we gonna make

is still gonna come out green.

Come on now, y'all, stop jiving
while I'm rehearsing Mommy.

You're making her nervous.

I don't need no help
in that department.

I'm already a wreck.

Oh, Mama.

Naw, besides,
to be a TV star,

you got to be
a real natural.

Now here's the way
you should do this spot.

Hi, y'all out there
in TV land.

This is Florida Evans,

star of stage, screen
and the ghetto.

I'm here to tell you about
Vita Brite health tonic.

My husband, James,
used to have slow blood.

He would cut himself
shaving on Monday

and wouldn't bleed
until Thursday.

But now...

thanks to Vita Brite
health tonic,

my blood is fast,
fast, fast.

Now I bleed
all the time.

Thank you,
husband James,

for that unsolicited
testimony

for which the grateful
folks at Vita Brite

will send you an additional
check for $1,000.

And remember...

Vita Brite is dy-no-mite!

Now, Mama, when you
do the commercial,

you have to get
into character.

So try and think
of yourself

as an average housewife
with three kids.

One of which needs
a set of barbells

to be tall, tan
and terrific.

And a hard-working
husband.

Who could sure use
the $5,000.

Boy, that's a lot
of money, baby.

Who would've ever thought
you'd be making that?

Well, now, James,
wait a minute.

That $5,000
is put-away money.

That's for the children's
education and our old age.

I only hit
the jackpot once,

but you're the one that
comes in with it every day.

Hey, I must be somebody
special too, huh?

I've just been kissed by a lady
that makes $5,000 a day.

Less $18 for a set
of barbells.

JJ, don't you think
of anyone but yourself?

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Baby, that must be
the man with the script.

This is it, Mama.

Time to do it,
'cause opportunity is knocking.

That's right.

Wait a minute, y'all.

Baby, it's the real thing.
Now come on.

Package for
Miss Florida Evans.

Thank you.

Hey, wait a minute.

Do you use Vita Brite?

Day and night.

Damn, I'd hate to think
what he looked like

before he was using it.

Oh, Ma, that must be
the TV commercial.

Ooh.

This is your passport
to stardom!

Hollywood,
here she comes!

Here, Ma, read it.

And when you do, remember
everything I taught you.

I'll try, honey,

but if they don't have nothing
in here about speckled cows,

we in a lot of trouble.

Come on, Ma, read us
the TV commercial,

and make believe
you really on TV.

"Hi...
hi there...

"I'm...
I'm Florida Evans

"here to tell you
about Vita Brite,

"America's wonderful
new health tonic.

"Make it a daily habit.

"Stop at
your favorite supermarket

and pick up a..."

Oh...

"Pick up a six-pack
of health."

Come on, baby,
you're doing great!

Yeah, you sound
like you was

right here
in the living room.

JJ, let Mama finish!
Go ahead, Mama.

"I used to wake up
listless

"and tired every morning.

And then my family doctor
suggested that I try..."

What family doctor?

All we got is a bottle of iodine
and three band-aids.

Baby, you sound real good.
Keep going. Come on.

"I have been
using Vita Brite

for three months and..."

James, I ain't been using
this stuff for three minutes.

I ain't never even
used it at all.

James, they got me
telling lies.

Baby, it ain't lying.

It's called selling.

I don't care
what you call it.

They hired me
for an honest face,

and I ain't gonna give it
a crooked mouth.

Mama, everybody knows that what
you see on TV isn't for real.

You think Redd Foxx really makes
his living from a junkyard?

Yeah, he's just playing the part
of a man who owns a junkyard.

Yeah, like you're playing
the part of a woman

who's been drinking Vita Brite
for three months.

It ain't lying, Mama,
it's acting.

You think Henry Fonda
would lie?

What's he gotta do
with it?

When you see him doing those
floor wax commercials,

do you think he really
waxes his own floors?

When his floors get dirty,
he just buys a new house!

And how about
those milk commercials?

How do we know Mark Spitz
really drinks milk

to build strong teeth?

How do we know he
even got strong teeth?

How do we even know
he's even got teeth?

And Joe Namath is doing those
pantyhose commercials now.

You think
he really wears 'em?

Not in the locker room.

Baby, everybody knows
that what you see on TV

ain't exactly real.

I mean, like that guy
in the little boat

that goes sailing
around the toilet.

I ain't never seen
no yachtsman in our john.

And he's living dangerous.

One flush
and he's buried at sea.

Mama, it's not like
you're doing anything wrong.

All it is
is a little white lie.

Thelma, when it comes to lying,
I am color-blind.

They all look
the same to me.

Now you kids are just
making excuses

'cause you're excited
about that $5,000.

Baby, there ain't nothing wrong
with having $5,000 now.

You said yourself
you wanted the money

for the kids' education.

Yeah, Ma,
I want to be a lawyer.

And I want to become
a great actress!

And I'm torn between
a life as an artiste

and a great barbells man.

Look, kids, I want you to
have all those things,

even the barbells,

but I don't want you
going around saying:

"I owe it all to
my mother the liar."

Baby, I ain't gonna try
and talk you into nothing

that's gonna make you go
against your principles.

But, Florida,
$5,000 is a lot of money.

And, baby, this is
a dog-eat-dog world out there,

and I'm tired of being inside
the dog looking out.

James, should there be
a price on truth?

I don't know, baby,

but for $5,000,
the price is right.

And besides,
it's a health tonic.

I mean, just 'cause you ain't
used it for three months

don't mean it might not
be good for folks.

Yeah, look what it did

to that little, scrawny
fella that delivered it.

Come on, baby,
at least try it.

Yeah, here's
a Vita Brite, Dad.

I'll get some glasses.

Huh?
Oh, all right.

I wonder how much of this stuff
you're supposed to take.

Well, it can't hurt, baby.

It's a health tonic.

Give me a double.

I'm gonna be the fastest blood
in the west!

Smells pretty good.

Well, here's to you, baby!

Here's to Vita Brite.

It brings you health
and brings us wealth.

Hey...

Not bad.

Ooh, it makes me warm
and tingly all over.

I ain't felt like this
since I stopped drinking.

Wonder what they got
in this stuff.

"Vitamin C,
Vitamin D,

Vitamin E."

"Eighteen percent alcohol."

Eighteen percent alcohol?

James, Vita Brite
is Vita Booze!

"Keep out of the reach
of children."

* Oh, tie a yellow ribbon *

* 'Round the old oak tree *

Michael!

Come here, son.
Here, sit down.

* Do you still want me? *

It's gonna be
all right.

We gonna take good care
of you. James?

Oh, he'll be all right, baby.

The best thing he can do
is just sleep it off.

Oh, James, we were getting so
turned around by all that money,

we got too busy to
look after our own kids.

* I get on the bus *

After drinking
all that stuff,

it's a wonder
you can feel anything.

James, after seeing what
this stuff did to Michael,

there's no way I'm gonna
do that commercial.

You're right, Florida,
and I ain't got no argument.

Now hold on.

Somebody's gotta be the voice
of reason around here.

We finally got a chance to
get a piece of the action.

I'm not interested
in no action

that's gonna sell 18 percent
booze as a health tonic.

It's only selling, Mama.

It's part of America.

Junior, this is
the Evans' house,

and your mother ain't
selling nothing

that's gonna put
11-year-old kids on skid row.

Now let's just worry
about your brother, huh?

Mama, I'm glad you're
not doing that commercial.

I can do it.

"Take Vita Brite
and sleep tight."

Yeah, he'll be
all right, baby.

I'll put him
in our room.

* Tie a yellow ribbon... *

WOMAN:
So do what I do--

give your family Kasey's Korn
Krinkles for breakfast.

Kasey's Korn Krinkles
are delicious

with sugar,
strawberries and cream.

Your family will love them.

With sugar,
strawberries and cream,

a bale of hay
would be delicious.

Mama, that could have
been you doing a commercial.

No way.

Mr. Moore said the government
wouldn't let them

advertise Vita Brite
on television.

Besides, if they did,
I know a much better person

than me
to do that commercial.

Who's that?

Dean Martin!

* Fly me to the moon *

* Da-da-da *

Ha, ha!

[***]

* Mmm *

* Just looking out
Of the window *

* Watching the asphalt grow *

* Thinking how it all looks
Hand-me-down *

* Good Times
Good Times *

* Keeping your head
Above water *

* Making a wave
When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

NARRATOR:
Good Times is recorded
on tape before a live audience.

* Ain't we lucky
We got 'em *

* Good Times *