Original subtitles

ANNOUNCER: From Television City in Hollywood:

* Good Times *

* Anytime you meet a payment *

* Good Times *

* Anytime you meet a friend *

* Good Times *

* Anytime you're out from under *

* Not getting hassled Not getting hustled *

* Keeping your head above water *

* Making a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

* Easy credit rip-offs *

* Good Times *

* Scratching and surviving *

* Good Times *

* Hanging in a chow line *

* Good Times *

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em *

* Good Times **

Hey, Thelma, when are you getting out of there?

I got a date tonight too, you know?

Don't rush me.

I need more time to put on my makeup.

The way you put yourself together,

you don't need a bathroom,

you need an assembly line.

Boy, that girl will drive you crazy

with all that makeup.

She does lay it on a little heavy.

Yesterday, I stepped on one of her false eyelashes.

I thought I had killed a centipede.

Hey, Mama,

make sure you iron that shirt real smooth,

'cause the girl I'm going out with tonight

likes to touch me a lot.

You know, you're getting to be

the Richard Roundtree of the project.

Four dates this week,

and each one with a different girl.

What can I say, Mama? When you're hot, you're hot.

Right now, the two things in most demand around here

are me and gasoline.

Yeah, you do have the same build as a gas hose.

I'll be right back.

I've got to go downstairs. We're out of mouthwash.

You're making a special trip for that?

Yeah. The girl I'm going out with tonight

is in the special life-savingcategory.

I expects to do

a lot of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Hi, JJ.

Hey, Willona.

Where's Junior Long-Legs going in such a hurry?

To get some mouthwash.

He's got another heavy date tonight.

Oh, well, that boy is really growing up.

You know, I remember

when the only thing he had on his mind

was making the basketball team.

Now he's trying out for the cheerleaders.

Assorted.

Ooh, Willona, heat up the coffee.

Coming right up.

THELMA: Mama, you pressing my dress yet?

I'm just getting started.

Some day when I want a vacation,

I'm going to take a job as a maid.

Well, it's Saturday night,

and you got yourself a couple of teenagers.

Yeah, well, I'm not too happy about Thelma's date.

She's going out with a 21-year-old boy.

Well, what are you worried about?

Thelma's 16.

When I was 16,

I went out with 21-year-old boys, and...

You know, Florida,

maybe you got something to worry about.

Oh, hi, Willona.

Hi, sweetie.

And if you're in a hurry for this dress,

I got a little ways to go yet.

Mama, you don't have to iron that.

I decided to wear my pink one.

Well, thanks for giving me the rest of the night off.

You know, Thelma,

your daddy and I still ain't too pleased

with this boy you're going out with tonight.

Mama, you and Daddy still on that kick?

You'll both change your mind when you meet Eddie.

I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

Eddie asked me for a date.

He's brilliant, kind, sensitive

and thoughtful and intellectual and--

And too old.

Eddie's fantastic, Ma.

He's going to be a professor some day.

He got his bachelor's degree,

and now he's going for his master's degree.

He's the most wonderful boy I ever met in my whole life!

Oh, Thelma!

Sixteen, what a great age.

That's when you meet

the most wonderful guy in your whole life

every week.

Did you see how starry-eyed she was

when she talked about him?

Yeah, we had that same starry-eyed look

when we were young.

I remember you and Jimmy Phillips.

What about you and Charlie Ketchum?

Charlie...

You know, I can still remember how gone I was on him.

Tall, slim, smooth...

Ooh, and when we danced, boy, could he dip.

My dreamboat was Jimmy Phillips,

but his motor was too fast for me.

He took me to see a Lena Horne picture,

and when I felt his arms going around me, I froze.

While Lena was on the screen singing "Stormy Weather,"

I was in the balcony singing "Show Me The Way To Go Home."

That was a lot of years and 50 pounds ago.

You were something else in those days.

All the boys used to call you

the girl with the dangerous curves.

Well, the curves are still here,

but they've widened the road a little.

I found this heavy new mouthwash.

It's called Control Tower.

One gargle, and all the girls circle around

waiting for landing instructions.

Who's he going out with tonight?

Some girl named Gloria.

Last night, it was Charlotte.

Two nights before that, it was Linda.

And the night before that, it was Barbara.

Sounds like a basketball schedule.

Play two nights, rest one night.

Now, he may be a wild tiger now,

but some day, that one girl's going to hook him,

and zap... one skinny, tame house-cat.

Amen.

And good Lord, what is this?

What?

"Sexual Behavior In the Ghetto"?

How'd this trash get into my house?

I don't know,

but let's sit down and read it.

It's a lot of typewritten pages.

It looks like the kind of dirty trash

that kids pass around between each other.

Let me see.

Uh-huh... pretty heavy stuff.

Oo-ee, now, here's something

that's interesting.

I'm not interested.

It says the male...

Let me see that.

That JJ!

I'll make him sorry he brought garbage like this

into this house.

Now, how do you know it was JJ?

It might've been James.

Willona, we've been married for 18 years,

and I got news for you...

James don't need no instructions.

Well, I still say

a refresher course ain't never hurt nobody.

No, this is JJ, all right.

Florida, why are you so surprised? JJ's 17.

Today, kids read that kind of stuff.

I don't like what's going on,

and I don't want my kids exposed to it.

What are you going to do, Florida?

It's a whole new world.

Well, personally, I like the old world better.

JJ, come out of there!

I want to talk to you.

JJ, come out here!

Yeah, Mama?

JJ, how do you explain this?

What?

"Sexual Behavior in The Ghetto."

I don't know.

If they can't explain it in here, I sure can't.

Don't give me none of your sass.

What are you doing with this?

That ain't mine. Don't lie to me, JJ.

I ain't lying.

I wouldn't buy nothing like that.

I'd rather wait for the movie to come out.

Hi, everybody.

Hi, honey.

What's happening?

Nothing. Why don't you go outside and play?

Mama, I've been playing basketball for three hours.

Well, then, go on outside and play some more.

Mama, what are you trying to do?

I'm going to get a heart attack.

Then go into my room and do your homework.

I already did my homework. Michael!

Mama, why are you trying to get rid of me?

Does it have something to do

with what you're hiding behind your back?

Now, Mama, this is probably Michael's.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

Well, he does the most reading in the family.

What you got there?

Is it something on black unity?

In a way.

"Sexual Behavior In The Ghetto."

JJ! Well, it ain't mine.

Mama, if you and Daddy are having any problems...

there's a whole section about it in the library.

And if you don't want any problems,

you get that junk off my couch and go into the room

like I told you.

Yes, ma'am.

JJ, you ought to be ashamed of yourself,

blaming an 11-year-old boy for reading such trash.

Well, if he reads this, he ain't going to be 11 long.

Michael wouldn't be interested in that stuff anyway,

right, Gramps?

That's right. I'm only interested

in stuff that will help the black community.

If it wasn't for stuff like that,

there wouldn't be no black community.

Go to your room.

I don't know what I'm going to do with this one.

I try to raise a good Christian family,

and here it is, my oldest son has the morals of a Philistine.

Aw, Mama, I didn't have nothing to do with this.

Yes, you did, and I want you to hush.

I've heard enough of it.

Hey, is this the last round,

or do I still got time to lay down a bet on the fight?

We got troubles.

We're really going to have trouble

if you don't give me some sugar.

Hi, James.

Hey, Willona. I see you got your usual ringside seat.

Look, here, Florida,

before you hit me with your fuss of the day,

let me hit you with mine.

It's been on my mind all day, and I still don't like the idea

of Thelma going out with this 21-year-old boy.

That don't even make the Top 30 on the fuss charts.

Here's number one.

Will you look at what JJ brought into this house?

"Sexual Behavior In The Ghetto."

Now, hold on, Dad.

I didn't have nothing to do with this.

Hell, you son of a gun.

James!

Aw, baby, you call this serious?

A boy his age wanting to know about these things

is the most normal thing in the world.

And he ain't a boy no more. Shucks, he's a man.

Come here, Junior.

I thought I told you

everything there was to know,

but I can't blame you

for wanting to find out something else, though,

you dog, you!

You know, son, I was just like you

when I was your age, a kid back in Mississippi.

Did all right with the girls too.

I'll bet you were dy-no-mite.

I was nitroglycerin.

Of course, that was before I met your mother.

Boy, the chicks used to line up

just waiting for a ride in that big, black limousine.

Big, black limousine?

When did you drive a big, black limousine?

Well, I used to drive a friend's hearse.

Aw, it's so nice

to see father and son talking things over.

Oh, shut up, Willona.

Father and son, huh? They look more like

a couple of sailors on weekend passes.

Well, I've got to get ready for my date.

Look here, Junior.

If you're making time in the hallway,

don't lean up against no doorbells.

Dy-no-mite!

Well, that's a fine way to raise your son, James.

What you planning for him next?

A job as an usher in a Pussycat Theater?

Well, I hate to give up my ringside seat,

but I am totally disgusted

by this whole discussion

on sexual behavior in the ghetto.

Well, let me relieve you of your embarrassment.

Now, James, about JJ and this.

Oh, baby, you're getting upset about nothing.

You call this kind of trash nothing?

That's right, nothing.

It's perfectly normal for a kid his age

to be interested in these things,

and it ain't a filthy piece of trash.

I'm surprised at you for being so old-fashioned.

Old-fashioned?

Hi, Daddy. Hey, baby.

Mama, where'd you find that?

I've been looking all over for it.

Yours, Thelma?

Yes.

That's yours? Yes.

Well, young lady, you sit down here right now,

just sit down and tell me

what the hell you're doing reading this filthy trash!

Thelma, what has gotten into you lately?

Going out with 21-year-old men and reading stuff like this?

There's nothing wrong

with going out with someone 21-years-old, Dad,

and what's wrong with reading stuff like that?

Because it's stuff like that.

Daddy, it's not what you think.

It's educational.

Educational. Where was it printed?

Porno Tech?

James, there's no need to shout at the girl.

Florida, what's wrong with you?

Ain't you as upset about this as I am?

Well, I'm not exactly thrilled,

but I'm also a little confused. About what?

When you thought it was JJ reading this stuff,

it was hallelujah time.

Now that you find out that it's Thelma's,

you want to call in the exorcist.

There's a difference between girls and boys.

No kidding.

You must have read the first page.

You know what I mean.

Boys don't get pregnant.

No, but they're usually

somewhere around the scene of the crime.

Will you stop trying to defend your daughter?

I don't need defending.

I have no intention of getting pregnant.

I just hope your 21-year-old boyfriend

knows that.

Daddy, he's a wonderful person,

and you're making him sound like a lecherous old man.

All right, baby, I'm sorry.

He's a lecherous youngman.

Thelma, why can't you go out with boys your own age?

Because they're boring and immature.

They don't know what it's all about.

Yeah.

James, aren't you forgetting something?

When we were going out,

you were three years older than me.

That's different, baby.

You was old for your age.

What do you mean by that?

I mean you was experienced.

What?!

That ain't what I mean.

I don't know whatI mean.

This girl's about to drive me up the wall

with her 21-year-old boyfriend and reading that filthy trash.

Daddy, you're locked somewhere in the 19th century.

Mama, I'm going downstairs to wait for Eddie.

Now, you hold on, young lady. You ain't going nowhere.

Ma?

James, Thelma is a good girl.

Yeah, and she's going to stay that way.

Well, I gots to keep on trucking.

Don't wait up for me tonight,

'cause it's going to be a long evening.

* Tonight, tonight Won't be just any night *

Now I've seen everything.

You let the wolf out the door

and you're going to lock Little Red Riding Hood up.

Yeah, how come it's all right for him

to go out on a date and not me?

Well, he ain't my daughter. I ain't got to worry about him.

Well, he's going out with somebody'sdaughter.

Well, then, let her father worry.

Daddy, I haven't done anything wrong.

Thelma, just go to your room, baby,

till I can figure this out here.

Mama?

Now, James...

Don't worry about Eddie.

I'm going to treat it real diplomatic-like.

I'll just say, "Eddie, she can't go out this evening.

She's got a fever of 105 degrees."

Then I'll throw him down the stairs.

Daddy, you're nothing but a male chauvinist!

Now, you hear that?

You hear the dirty words she done picked up

from reading that trash?

James, "chauvinist" ain't no dirty word.

You ain't never seen it

on the walls of none of the projects,

have you?

Hey, Mama.

What's the matter with Thelma?

She's crying like crazy.

It's nothing that concerns you, son.

Go back in your room and study.

Mama, why is it that every time something goes on around here,

I've got to go back in my room and study?

You know, I'm going to be smart in school,

but I sure am going to be stupid

to what's happening around here.

Michael, go on back in your room.

Daddy...

Don't "Daddy" me. Go on back in your room now.

James...

your daughter is in there crying.

Baby, you've got to understand.

I love our sons, both of them,

but Thelma's the only daughter we got, baby.

She's special. She's my little girl.

Little girl?

Have you had a good look at her lately?

Yeah, and that's what scares the hell out of me.

Baby, I know we raised her right

and I know she knows right from wrong,

but 21 years old...

Oh, James.

Did you see the look in her eyes

when she started talking about him?

I had the same glow on my face

when I told my parents about you.

Yeah, well, you had reason to glow.

Well, so has she.

Now, Eddie is somebody special.

He's going to be a college professor.

Pfft.

So he uses a lot of big words you don't understand.

[KNOCKING]

Oh, that's him now.

Look, this is a very special moment for Thelma.

Well...

Come on, at least talk to him.

Okay...

but I ain't going to let him snow me.

Hi, I'm Eddie Conroy.

Is this the Evans' apartment?

Well, it ain't Let's Make a Deal.

You must be Mr. Evans.

I'm Thelma's mother. Won't you come in?

Yes, thank you, ma'am.

Is Thelma ready?

Ready for what?

The concert starts in about half an hour.

She'll be ready in a little while.

You know how girls are.

Yes.

I'll bet you do.

James, please. Won't you sit down?

Yes. Thank you.

Would you like a drink?

A cup of coffee?

A soda pop?

No, thanks.

Why don't you offer him a belt of booze? He's 21.

James...

Young man, do you mind if I ask you a question?

No, sir. go ahead.

How did a dude like you ever meet my daughter?

Well, I interviewed her while I was doing my research.

Research?

Yes, I'm completing a thesis for my master's.

Thesis?

This cat even uses short words you don't understand.

You see that, James?

He interviewed Thelma for his thesis.

What's it about?

Well, it's called "Sexual Behavior In The Ghetto."

This?

I found Thelma to be one of my more interesting subjects.

You wrote about my daughter in this here thing?

She's page 25.

When a 21-year-old cat

goes out with a 16-year-old girl,

he ain't looking for no ice cream.

I don't understand.

I understand you wrote a filthy piece of trash here,

and I don't appreciate you

getting my daughter mixed up in it.

I told you 21 years old ain't nothing but trouble.

I ought to drop him... Oh, James.

A college thesis can't be dirty...

can it?

No.

I interviewed a cross-section of ghetto residents

and asked them about their sexual behavior.

Yeah, well, it still don't sound like Mother Goose to me.

Just tell me one thing, baby. What does it say on page 25?

My interview with Thelma

helped to prove a strong theory I have.

You see, in broken homes with just one parent,

there's a high percentage of loose attitudes towards sex.

He's right, James.

That's what Thelma's interview's about.

It says so right here.

"But in homes with a solid family foundation,

"especially a strong father figure,

"the incidence of unwanted pregnancies

is almost nonexistent."

You mean page 25 is clean?

It sure is.

And that's all Thelma's interview

was all about.

It makes real nice reading too.

What did you say was the reason for Thelma's low...

Incidence.

"Homes with a solid family foundation."

No, I mean the part after that.

Oh, "strong father figures."

Yeah.

That's the part.

Hey, uh, Thelma, what's keeping you, girl?

Don't you know your date's out here waiting on you?

Hi, Eddie.

Hi, Thelma. Wow, you look great.

Thanks.

Thank you, Daddy.

Mm-hm. Have a nice time, baby.

We will, Daddy.

Good night, Mr. and Mrs. Evans.

Good night. You take care of my little girl, now.

You know, if Eddie needs more work on his thesis,

he can come up here and fire away anytime,

because like he said in the paper,

I'm the expert on how to raise kids, right?

Right.

Junior, what you doing home so early?

It ain't but 8:00.

It was a bad scene, man.

I knocked on the girl's door,

her father answered the door,

smelled the mouthwash on my breath,

saw the gleam in my eye,

and slammed the door right in my face.

Score one for another family with a strong father figure.

* Mmm... *

* Just looking out of the window *

* Watching the asphalt grow *

* Thinking how it all looks hand-me-down *

* Good Times Good Times *

* Keeping your head above water *

* Making a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

NARRATOR: Good Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em *

* Good Times **