All language subtitles for title_t00

OK, Don.
We'll take it from here.

Good. I gotta hurry.
I'm gonna be late for my analyst.

AN CE-EU AR

How about that sound?

You shouldn't come in like that.
I may have had another patient.

I know.

But I had to find out about that sound.

What's that all about, doctor?

I don't really know
what it's all about, Don.

It's beautiful.

Beautiful sound.

You're a remarkable man.

Should we begin?

- I had a weird dream last night.
- Go ahead. Tell me about it.

I can and I can't.

I woke up.

No, it was a nightmare,
and it woke me up.

But I couldn't remember it.

When you couldn't remember it,
did you think about anything?

That was weird too.

I suddenly remembered something
that happened to me when I was a kid.

Something I haven't thought about
since it happened.

What was it, Don?

It was the day
I found out about niggers.

I don't feel like lying down.

- You mind if I sit over there?
- No, go ahead.

I was 5.

And I knew there were colored people
and white people.

But then Mama took me to school.

And it was almost all white kids.

And nothing much happened
on the first day.

But on the second day,

I was walking to school alone.

My big brother,
he was already in third grade.

When you got a kid brother
in kindergarten

it can be kind of an embarrassment.

So he ran on ahead
to be with his buddies.

Anyhow, there was a group
of white kids on the street up ahead.

And as I came up,

they started laughing
and running and yelling.

Run, run, here comes the nigger!
Run, run!

"Here comes the nigger."

And I looked around.

And I didn't see any niggers.

But if they wanted to play,
so did l.

So I started laughing
and running and yelling.

"Run, run, here comes the nigger!

"Run, run, here comes the nigger."”

Suddenly there was my big brother.

And I ran up to him.

And I started yelling,
"Run, run, here comes the nigger!”

And he hit me.

Then he did something worse.

He told me what a nigger was.

IR AR Y-l

How'd you feel about that, Don?

A hate flashed in me.

And I started to hit my brother.

I hated him, and I hit him.

I hated me.

And I hit him.

And I rammed that knife
into his heart.

What?

What?

The Albanian.

WA E gk

I stuck that knife into him.

And he was my brother,
and he was me, and I hated him.

- What are you talking about?
- He was an Albanian double agent.

He had secret information that
threatened the security of our country.

My assignment was to kill him.

And I did a while ago
on Seventh Avenue.

- So much for my cover.
- Your cover?

Doesn't make any difference.
I had to tell you today anyway.

- I'm glad.
- What are you glad about, Don?

- I don't have to lie to you anymore.
- Lie?

I'm a CEA agent.

You are a CEA agent.

Then you really did kill someone?

It's fascinating, isn't it, Don?

Well, I suppose it's the conditioning
of motion pictures or television,

or perhaps it's the time we live in,

but killing is serious, and yet this little
card somehow makes it less shocking.

And acceptable in a way.

You mean you can actually
legally kill someone.

Yeah. And it bothers me sometimes
because I don't feel guilty about it.

Don't you think that's
psychotic behavior?

No, I don't.

No, it explains
your utter lack of hostility.

You can vent your aggressive feelings
by actually killing people.

It's a sensational solution
to the hostility problem.

Are you trying to tell me
it's all right to kill people?

It's simply a moral question.

And morality is a social invention.

And in this case society has decided
that it's not only morally acceptable

for certain people to kill other people,
but it's even commendable.

- I gotta write a paper for the institute.
-1 don't think the CEA would like that.

Oh, yes, the CEA.

I can't imagine why they'd allow
an agent in analysis.

- They didn't. They assigned me.
- Assigned you, why?

It's the last phase of a complete
rundown we've been doing on you.

- On me?
- Shall we go for a drive, Sidney,

so we can talk?
This place could be bugged.

Bugged? Nonsense, Don.

The sanctity of a psychiatrist's office
is like a confessional.

- You know that. Now...
- Really?

I put this one there myself.
God knows what else could be in here.

Shall we go for a drive?
My chariot awaits.

This is a...

You're putting me on.

- The president of the United States?
- We only got one.

President, that's fantastic.

Well...

...look, Don, I don't know how
the selection fell upon me,

but analysis is a very personal thing.

I'll have to meet
with the president, talk,

much like you and I did
when we first met.

Then if we show some rapport,
then it's...

No time.
It's all been determined.

Dr. Lee-Evans,
he's your analyst, right?

Yes. What does that have
to do with it?

Most of what you're asking,
he can answer better than l.

- What are we doing at the Whitney?
- You play the gong,

he digs art.
Go ahead, he's waiting for you.

So they finally decided to tell you.
Bunch of damn time-wasters.

You ought to have been with him
three months ago.

But why me, not you?

Look at this thing.

Pile of junk.

- Shock you?
- No, not shock. Surprise.

No, I think it's a beautiful piece
of contemporary sculpture.

That's why you and not me.

I'm just too damned old.

You like this?

Beautiful.

ER O TN =T I=N 1100 g
- I've known them all.

Freud, Jung, Wright, Pavlov, Sullivan,
all the old giants.

They were men of their time.
You're a man of your time.

The president's analyst.
Beautiful.

He's a vital man.
You'll need every bit of your strength.

- What kind of shape is he in?
- No manifestation of illness,

no real neurosis,
certainly not psychotic.

Well, then what is it?

- Pretty, isn't she?
- Yes.

He is overworked, overtired,
overburdened.

He needs to talk to someone outside
the stresses of his supercharged life.

He needs to talk to someone
who doesn't want anything from him.

- When do I see him?
- You leave tomorrow.

Tomorrow?
Well, what about my patients?

It's a little complicated,
but I'm taking care of it.

It's certainly an unprecedented
opportunity.

I have to admit it. I envy you.

- The president.
- Goodbye, my son.

Thank you, sir.

- I'm gonna walk.
- OK, Sidney, I'll see you tomorrow.

- Pick you up around about noon.
- I R

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

Hevy.

- I thought you'd gone.
- I'll go if you want me to.

- Listen, I never want you to go.
- Oh, I'm glad you said that.

But I warn you, I'm a nester.

I have this need to make a nest
everywhere I go.

- Listen, do you believe in magic?
- No. I was analyzed.

I need to take care of a man,
to cook, sew, make love,

admire his brains
in adoring admiration, be dominated.

I'm a natural-born female slave.

I want to marry you.

No.

Hey. No fun. I tried it once.

- Never again.
- What's the matter with you?

- What kind of nut are you, anyhow?
- Oh, I'm not a nut.

It's my business to know myself, which
I do, and other people, which I do.

You're my girl. You're my woman.
You're Mrs. Me.

Could be, because I really think
I love you right back.

- See?
- But I thought I loved Morton

when I married him.

- Morton?
- I don't trust me any more.

Yeah, well, trust me.

Look it, I...love...you.

And it's my professional opinion
that you love me too.

I do love you.

- But I'm afraid.
- No, no.

- You're not lying to me, are you?
- No, no.

If I could take all the things that I am,
all the feelings I have,

all the things that I want and somehow
get them on a computer card,

you would be the answer.

I don't know why or how
you've come along

at this particular point in my life.

See, that's the magic part.

I'm not gonna let you go.

Marry me.

We could live together for a while,

and if it worked out,

then we could get married.
OK?

What a pleasure to meet you,
DI I

I've admired your paper,
"Ego, Superego in Media".

- Thank you.
- Won't you sit down?

- Yes.
- I am Ethan Allan Cocket,

- director of Central Enquiries Agency.
- Oh, yes.

And this is Mr. Henry Lux, head of
the Federal Board of Regulation.

Sir, this is certainly an honor...

I don't hold with this
psychiatric mumbo jumbo.

I don't approve of what my colleague
from the CEA is going to tell you.

But I have been overruled,
R R

DI RSI T
before you meet the president,

there are things we feel
you must understand.

IR
- What?

LR
- Security and Safety.

First, I want you to know, you will be
under the protection of the CEA.

Well, thank you very much, sir,
but I hardly feel that's necessary.

Perhaps. But once you've spoken
to the president,

you will be in the topmost
secret category.

You can impart nothing of what
N RN A CE R R L o =

Well, that's a condition under which
every psychiatrist meets every patient.

The girl.

I say he don't get the job
till he improves his morals.

We've already settled that.

R e
- Your relationship with Miss Butler,

while not particularly bothersome
to the CEA,

we have, of course, checked
her clearance, and she's just fine,

does present a problem
with our colleagues in the FBR.

Well, now, just a minute.

While I appreciate the honor
of the position offered,

- my personal life is my own.
- Not anymore it isn't.

- Of course it is.
- That's all been taken care of.

My dear Mr. Lux,
no man is an island.

Most of us require the warmth
of human companionship.

- Poppycock.
- In any event, it is settled.

Dr. Schaefer may have his lady.

We've taken the liberty of securing

a charming little house in Georgetown
for you and Miss Butler.

Mr. Masters will escort her there now.

A frivolous, immoral expenditure
of taxpayer money.

Well, I can find a place of my own,
and I can certainly pay for it.

However, with all the taxes
I pay each...

Yes, well, we've researched your taste,
and I'm sure you'll like this one.

Now, as to your office,
it's directly below mine.

And at your request,
it is bug-proof.

Well, that's a relief.

Now, when can I expect
the president?

You don't expect him.
He expects you.

The president's schedule
is so demanding,

we will be unable to establish
any regular appointment time.

BRI T
- He will send for you

whenever he has an hour.

Your office, my boy.
I hope you like it.

Oh, it's...

I've installed signal lights
wherever necessary.

We were able to set up this first
appointment. He'll see you now.

Your key.

This time we'll accompany you
part of the way.

From here on, my boy,
you are on your own.

Oh, yes. Thank you.
Now, I...

- Oh, yes. Your directions.
- Oh, thank you.

- Good luck.
- Thank you, sir.

Watch your step.

Mr. President.

- It's beautiful.
- We knew you'd like it.

You'll need a car. That's yours.

Marvelous.

Well, thank you very much, sir.

Not at all, my boy. You're very
important to all of us, very important.

Poppycock.

Our nest.

Do you like it?

I love it. I could live
in a packing crate with you.

Sidney, for a psychiatrist
you're a very peculiar man.

What was it like?

Fantastic. He's really a great man,
you know.

You can't believe the...

No. No, I can't tell you
about that part.

It doesn't matter. The parts
I can tell you about are fantastic.

That man carries a load that would kill
ten ordinary men, and alone.

Well, now at least he has me
to share some of it with.

But you'd think that he'd spend his
time worrying about China or Russia...

Hasn't slept in eight nights
worrying about Libya.

Do you know about politics
and Libya and things like that?

No, I don't have to know about that.
He has political advisors for that.

He has a medical doctor
to take care of his physical needs,

- and me to keep his head straight.
- You're gonna do it too.

- Yeah, you bet I am.
- Hey. How?

I just keep him from carrying
excess anxieties.

- Are they catching?
- What?

A A

Not as long as I have you.

What's that all about?

It's him. He needs me.

- But you just met with him...
- Oh, yes. I know.

I thought psychiatrists
had regular hours.

Well, they do, I don't. New rules.
I'll see you later.

Don.

Oh, I've gotta go.

Look, I'll...

Wednesday. How's next Wed...? No,
Tuesday. Tuesday. Maybe Tuesday.

.Truman administration.

Now, if you will step this way,
we will go through the North Portico.

We hope you have all enjoyed
your tour of your White House.

Nan?

She no longer lives here,
DI I

- What do you mean?
- I am sorry, my boy.

I'm afraid we have
unpleasant news for you.

- Something happened with Nan?
- No, my boy, it's not that at all.

- What is it?
- It's rather... Rather

a complicated security problem.

It's not complicated at all.

Doctor...

...you talk in your sleep.

What do you mean, I talk...?

- What's that have to do with Nan?
- When you talk in your sleep,

- you violate the National Security Act.
- The Na...?

While the CEA may consider
Miss Butler acceptable

at a top security level,
the FBR does not.

My God.

How do you know what I say
in the privacy of my own bedroom?

You're doing a marvelous job
with the president.

- He looks ten years younger.
- Thank you, sir,

but I wanna know
what you've done with Nan.

At the taxpayers' expense,

we've installed her in a suite
at the Shoreham Hotel.

You may continue the relationship,

provided you go there only during
the daylight hours and do not sleep.

- Listen to me, my boy.
- What?

I'm sure by now
it must be apparent to you

that there is some strain
between the CEA and the FBR.

It's petty nonsense, this rivalry,
but nevertheless it does exist.

Give me a little time
to reason with Mr. Lux.

I'm sure we can get you two children
back together again.

OK, but you get her back here fast
because I need her.

I need her very badly.

Tough day?

Listen,

if I were an analyst, which I am,

I would say I was rapidly turning into
a paranoid personality, which I am.

Is there an analyst you could go to?

Every other psychiatrist
has another doctor he can talk to.

- Not me.
- Sidney...

The presidency used to be
the world's loneliest job.

Now even he has someone.
He can talk to me.

- I'm here.
- We can't even go to bed together.

I talk in my sleep,
and they'll arrest you.

Honey, why don't you just quit?

I can't. I know too much.
They'd never let me get away.

They would never let me get away.

You see? I'm paranoid.
I am paranoid.

I don't think you're paranoid.
I think you have a firm grasp on reality.

Listen.

Do you have any idea how badly
the Russians and the Chinese

and even the Cubans
want to get ahold of me?

Sidney, you're scaring me.

With what I know, they'll throw me
in a brain laundry.

Did you ever hear of Dr. Chen Hu
and his electrodynamic process

of thought reform? Two days.

Two days with him, he'll have
every thought in my head

pouring out into tape recorders.

- What?
- Everybody's after me.

Sidney, this is me, Nan.

I've got to get you some help.
They must let you see a doctor.

P[E110Yg

Wait a minute.

No.

No, no, no.
You're absolutely right. No.

I've simply and clinically
been letting...

...my fantasies carry me away, huh?

No, I'm all right.

Oram I?

Why don't I just simply
and clinically find out?

Oh, I'm shot.

I was right.
I'm not paranoid.

They're all spies.

Boy, I hope this isn't a wrong number.

No, it's not.

- It's me.
- Oh, Sidney.

Why, Sidney, what is it?
You sound terrible.

Oh, I just...

I just woke up from a dream.

Shook me a little bit.
I dreamt that you were...

IR I

...you weren't here when I woke up.

And when I woke up,
you weren't, and...

Well, kiss good night.

Oh, Sidney, I miss you,

and I miss our nest,
and I wish you were a plumber.

Good night, my darling.

This is Company 32.
Scramble and stand by

for tape transmission for Section 12.

Why, Sidney, what is it?
You sound terrible.

Oh, I just...

! just woke up from a dream.

Shook me a little bit.
I dreamt that you were...

I dreamt that...

...you weren't here when I woke up.

And when I woke up,
you weren't, and...

Well, kiss good night.

And although the original was burned
by the British in 1812,

the White House was fortunate
in having a duplicate donated

during the recent redecoration
by Mrs. Kennedy.

Now, as we leave the White House...

Now, we're in Washington
and we're gonna stay in Washington

until we've seen every single
national shrine! Now, shut up!

...and next to it, one believed to be
that of President Martin Van Buren.

Hurry along, folks.

Hurry along.
Hurry along, folks.

Gee whiz, Dad. Why can't we take
the FBR tour? I wanna see the files.

Sorry, we've got to get back to
New Jersey as soon as we've finished.

Now, be a good boy
and enjoy your heritage.

Look. Now, there's a picture
of Andrew Johnson.

See? He's got long hair.

- Why can't I let mine grow?
- Because I said so, that's why.

Hello there.
I wonder if I might talk with you.

- Yes?
- I'm on the president's personal staff.

Did you break anything?
Oh, no, no, no, nothing like that.

No, actually it's something
quite special.

You see, the president likes us
to seek out tourists

who come through the White House,
a typical American family.

It's sort of a personal,
confidential project.

There are all sorts of apparati
for polling the public.

The president feels
they're all too cold, too impersonal.

That they don't really
contact real people.

So without anyone knowing it,
except the people he chooses,

he reaches out to find out what you
really think, what worries you,

what kind of government
you really want.

You mean the president is interested
in what we think, the Quantrills?

That's right.

If I may, I'd like to stop by the hotel
this afternoon to begin the interview.

Well, we were planning
to leave for home.

That's Seaside Heights, New Jersey.

We've got a crowded weekend,
but of course...

- We could...
- That's even better.

The president likes us
to conduct interviews

on the subjects' home ground.

Right. You know, find out his interests,
his hobbies, et cetera, et cetera.

That is unless you object
to having a guest.

Object? We'd love it!

I was planning pot roast bourguignon
for Saturday. Would that be all right?

- Total sound!
- What?

Comrade Ambassador.

I have just been informed
that Dr. Sidney Schaefer

has run away from his job
as the president's analyst

- and is now fair game.
- Wonderful. Bravo.

Kidnap him so that we may
transport him safely to Russia

and extract all those beautiful
secrets from his head.

How do you do, Dr. Schaefer?

I'm Kropotkin, Russian Secret Service.
I won't hurt you.

I come only to do you good

and to transport you to Russia
where you'll live happily ever after.

Why did you just say that?

Just rehearsing.

Dr. Sidney Schaefer.

Now see here, chaps,

the PM expects that we,
and not anyone else,

shall be the first to abduct
DI I

You understand, of course,
that you mustn't hurt him.

After all, the Americans are our allies.

Just take him quietly, and we'll ship
him off to London in my trunk.

Kill him.

I want him dead.

Dr. Schaefer must die.
He knows too much.

We cannot risk some foreign power
grabbing him.

You men are the inner defense
of our nation.

It is upon your shoulders
that this great responsibility falls.

We do not bear our burden lightly.

With the full knowledge of our
responsibility we must find him.

In the interest of national security,
kill him.

Take no chances.
Shoot him on sight.

We shall, we must,
find Dr. Schaefer.

The nation expects it of us.

Find him.

[ €11N Y}

Think of your mothers,
think of the yet unborn children.

Amazing.

Well, we know what we must do.

Obviously we have to beat
our colleagues

and the foreign spy services
to Dr. Schaefer,

and we must prevent the FBR
from assassinating him.

Don, you know him best.
I'll leave it in your hands.

You're to take him quietly, if you can.

Of course, if it looks like you'll
lose him, you'll have to kill him.

Yes, sir.

White House to Quantrills' in five
hours, ten minutes and 51 seconds.

- Not bad, if I do say so myself.
- You drive too fast!

You're gonna get a ticket one of these
days, and that's gonna slow you down.

Well, there it is.

Typical American home
of a typical American family.

Come on in.

- Bing, unload the car.
- Gee whiz, Dad.

Oh, look at the time.
I'm gonna be late for my class.

Honey, have Bing unload the car
TR W LT [N

I just did, dear.

- Look real?
- Yes, yes.

- Plastic. Made it in my own workshop.
- No.

She's always at me about my driving.

But don't get me wrong.

She's a great wife
and a good mother.

Total sound.

Want a draft beer?

A=

- This class she goes to, what is that?
- Her karate class.

Look at this. No decorator.
Did it all herself.

Now, getting back to what
I was saying about us,

the Quantrills, being liberals.

I meant that we're liberals

in the same tradition as the president.

Did I tell you we voted for him?

A=

When I say "liberal”, of course,

I don't mean left-wingers
or anything like that.

I mean, you know,
we're for civil rights.

L=
- Sit dowvvn.

We've both done weekend picketing.

As a matter of fact,

we sponsored the Negro doctor
and his wife

when they moved
into the development.

Well, the president will be
very pleased to hear that.

That's great.

If I do say so, it took a little courage.

The Bullocks, next door,
real right-wingers.

American flag up every day,
real fascists.

Ought to be gassed.
You know the type.

Oh, yes.

Brother, the fight they put up.

But I told them.

These are liberal times.

Hey, Dad. You want
the Magnum .357 in the house?

Darn it, Bing. I told you not to play
around with my guns.

No, I do not want that in the house.
That is my car gun.

My house gun is already in the house.

Put that back
in the glove compartment,

and don't let me catch
you fooling with my guns again.

I'm sorry, Dad.

- Great kid.
- I thought you said

- you were an accountant.
TN

Why do you have
all these guns around then?

You know...

Honey... Oh.
I'm sorry about the silly clothes,

but we take our lessons
at the police station

and they don't have facilities
for us ladies to change.

Now, there are the girls.
Listen, I'll see you guys around 5:00.

I thought we could drive into New York
tonight and eat Chinks, OK?

Right.

- You'll grow up to be a delinquent...
- Wait till you hear!

...do you hear me?
If you ever do that again,

I'll break every bone in your body.

You guys won't believe it...

You're kidding!

- These guns and karate, why?
- The right-wing extremists.

Disarm them,
and us liberals will disarm.

- Right?
- Right.

AT g

There's a top-secret telephone call
that I simply must make.

- Oh, sure, sure.
- You have someplace private?

There is a 25-foot extension
on this hall phone.

Take it in the powder room,
lock the door.

I make a lot of calls from there.

Thank you, Wynn.

- Long distance.
- Hello, operator.

I would like to speak
with Dr. Stephen Lee-Evans

in New York City at 246-6598.

What's the area code, please?

No, I don't know
the area code number...

- Two-one-two?
- Yes, thank you very much.

'I try to remember that. Now,
would you please ring me through?

You may dial that number directly.

Well, yes, I know I can dial it,

but now that I have you,
couldn't you just dial it for me?

- Doctor's office.
P

This is Dr. Sidney Schaefer. I'd like
to speak with Dr. Stephen Lee-Evans.

- Please, it's very urgent.
- I'm sorry, the doctor is out.

- Can he be reached?
- Sorry, but he...

- It's desperate that I reach him.
- I'm sorry.

Yes, well, certainly tell him I called.
Tell him that I'm worried.

I'm very worried about
the CEA, the FBR... No!

No, don't tell him that.

That's a secret.
Nobody's supposed to know that.

No, just forget I said
anything about that.

Tell him I'll call him back later.
Yes, goodbye.

FBR.

He's gone for a little while.

- Where?
- Chinks.

Don't say that.
Say "Chinese restaurant”.

- "Chinks" is bigoted.
- W hat restaurant?

In New York.
I don't know which one.

Don't your folks eat
in the same restaurant?

Mom's a gourmet. She says there's
so many good restaurants,

if they ate in a new one every time,
they still couldn't eat in all of them.

- And, boy, you know what?
- What?

- Most of them are lousy.
- Don't say "lousy". It's impolite.

- What'll we do, Sullivan?
- I don't know, Carter.

They'll be back before we can hit
enough places.

- We better wait.
- You gonna kill Dr. Schaefer?

- Yes, son. We're gonna kill him,
- Oh, boy.

- I adore Mandarin cooking, don't you?
- Oh, yes.

I mean, the Cantonese is so, well,
it's so American. It's terribly bland.

We have been trying
to get a Mandarin chef

to come to Seaside Heights
to teach our ladies' group

because we've simply had it
with the French thing.

- Do you get Gourmet magazine?
- I read the White House copy, yes.

Say, I wonder if it'd be possible
for you to make a call for me.

Muggers!

- I'll take care of this!
- Grab him!

Peace.

Hey, peace.

Don't be afraid.

I'm in trouble.

- Most people are.
- We saw them chasing you.

First time I ever saw Chinese fuzz.

If I could...

...just stay in this...

...bus here for a while
and rest till I get my...

...until I get my breath back.

Just one question.

Are you a man of violence?

He's pretty.
My name is Snow White.

- Isn't he pretty, Old Wrangler?
- We're all pretty, Snow White.

Look, we're musicians on our way
to the Great Lakes area.

Just finished an engagement here,
we're gonna play up there.

You can come with us if you like.

You can sleep in my bed.

Hey, Kropotkin,
my dear old friend.

My compatriot.
My competitor.

How are you?
How nice to see you!

Please, no Russian. I'm spying.

I thought they cycled you
back to Eastern Europe.

They did. But when you guys hired
Dr. Schaefer,

they decided I was the one to grab
him, so here I am. Say, how's Pierre?

Didn't you hear?

Oh, no.

Easy come, easy go.

Tranquilizer.
Crude, but effective.

- How are you doing on this one?
- Same as you.

You know, your Dr. Schaefer's
not bad for an amateur.

- Wanna make a bet?
- Depends on the bet.

I bet I find Schaefer before you do.

OK, it's a bet. How much?

- Dinner at Bardil Rifats.
- Bardil Rifats? But that's in Albania.

Albania's my next assignment
if I don't get Dr. Schaefer.

And if I'm there,
the least you could do...

All right, but you'll have to get
your side to leak information

in order to get my side
to send me over.

VWell, that's a breeze.
I'll see you.

- Kropotkin.
- Yes?

We may both lose.

The FBR has orders
to kill him on sight.

Good for them. I see you Americans
are getting more sophisticated.

Hope you don't mind
if I eliminate some FBR.

Mind?

- Surely you jest.
R

Keep the faith, baby.

I want to tell you how much
I appreciate what you are doing.

Hey, why not? You know,
we're all fugitives here.

We're all seekers.

Hey, you'll be safe with us.
You just stay as long as you like.

Thank you, thank you, I've...

I've gotta think.
Find a perspective, recover myself.

Well, you know where it's at
out there. It's wrong.

It doesn't work.

- Hey, you come explore with us.
- Explore?

You know...

...the lost innocence...

...the peaceful center.

Hey, where it's at with you, man.

Oh, thank you.

Let's smell the flowers.

The changes that keep going down

And they always will

{f can get my fiil

If 1 go along with the changes
That go round and round

It's all there to see

As they come to me
If I go along with the...

I'm supposed to know so much.

I feel like I don't know anything.

My whole...

My whole world
is out of control, spinning.

Smell the earth.

Isn't it good?

Oh, yes.

Now is pretty.

Love now.

I'm now.

Love me.

The changes that keep going down

The circles, they'll all fall down

Then there's only now

If 1 go along with the changes
That rearrange my mind

It's so strange, my mind

{ can change my mind
If I go along with the changes

A look at yourself sets you running

Afraid of you who looked at you

A-running

Changes that keep going down

And they always will

{f can get my fiil

If 1 go along with the changes
That go round and round

It's all there to see

As they come to me

If 1 go along with the spirals
That circle around

That I, that I just found

Like a silent sound

If 1 go along with the changes
That rearrange my mind

It's so strange, my mind

{ can change my mind

If I go along with the changes

A look at yourself sets you running

Afraid of you who looked at you

A-running

Changes that keep going down

And they always will

{f can get my fiil

If 1 go along with the changes
That go round and round

Changes that keep going down

The circles, they'll all fall down

Then there's only now

If 1 go along with the changes
That rearrange my mind

It's so strange, my mind

Oh, it's the Puddlians.

Hey! How you doing?
How are you, people?

Hey!

Hello, man.

- Hey, this is the fugitive.
TR

He's out of sight, man.

- Come on into the dressing room.
- Yeah.

I hear you had a close call in
New York with some tiny teen boppers.

No, it wasn't much, mates.

Some bloody nut threw some LSD
in the fruit punch.

There they were, 1,200 screaming
freaked-out freakers.

You wouldn't have some Congo hash

you could trade me for some
mighty fine LSD, would you?

- Done.
- Groovy.

Mother's milk.

There was a time
She needed me to lean on

There was a time
But now it's past and gone...

Blue ice cubes? How degenerate.

I'll be proud to see
What she"s come to be

She's ready to be free
It's too plain to see

She's through needing me

Even though I cry myself
To sleep at night

{ can't help knowing
What was done was right

{ hope she knows
I'll always be around

If that bird that left the nest
Ever hits the ground

She's ready to be free
It's too plain to see

She's through needing me

She's ready to be free
It's too plain to see

She's through needing me

It's beautiful. Somebody put
LSD in the fruit punch.

There was a time
She needed me to lean on

There was a time
But now it's past and gone

Hey, Kropotkin.

I'll be proud to see
What she"s come to be

Hevy.

{t's too plain to see
She's through needing me

She's ready to be free
It's too plain to see

She's through needing me

Hevy.

Hey, man, where's your hair?

Now, don't worry, Dr. Schaefer.
Nobody's gonna hurt you.

You happen to be
a very valuable person.

- You're not musicians, are you?
- Canadian Secret Service.

Canadian spies?

You think it's fun being a silent
bleeding partner in North America?

Canadian spies.

Armed with what's in your head,

perhaps we might alter
the course of history.

Sullivan, FBR.

OK, I'm sorry I ran away.
You can take me back to Washington.

- Those are not my orders.
- You mean, I'm free?

My orders are to kill you.

What?

Valentine.

Valentine!

- Got any Magnum .44s?
- There's some on the boat.

Too late. I promised Helen
I wouldn't work late.

- Give me your gun.
- It's against regulations.

Field Manual C, page 112.

Paragraph "License to Kill",
subparagraph three.

Sorry, Sullivan, but rules
are rules. You know that.

All right. If it wouldn't be inconvenient,

would you please get me
some Magnum .44s?

Sure, Sullivan, I'll go get them.
After all, I'm just a squire.

You're the knight.
You have the license to kill.

Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute, here. Wait. I'm...

I'm a citizen of the United States
of America. I haven't broken any laws.

Look, I just don't wanna be
the president's analyst anymore.

Mr. Sullivan, look.
I didn't do anything.

You can't just go around shooting
people like this. We've laws.

There's a Constitution that prevents
you from going around killing people.

- Look...
- I haven't done anything.

- Look, I don't know what you did...
- Nothing.

I don't know what you didn't do.
All I do is follow orders.

I didn't do anything.
That's the whole... l didn't do anything.

Mr. Sullivan, you don't understand.
I am a psychiatrist.

I work in Washington. I had a little
nervous breakdown and ran away.

That's all that's happened.
N R LG

No. No mistakes!
The FBR does not make mistakes.

- They're making a mistake this time.
- These are my orders.

Signed by Henry Lux himself.
Boy, I'd sure like to keep this.

Henry Lux himself.

But I've gotta turn this in with your
prints and picture after I shoot you.

Regulations. Too bad too.

Boy, would this be great
to show my grandchildren, huh?

Henry Lux himself. And with my name
right at the top of the paper.

Makes you want to bend
a regulation just once in a while.

Yes, bend them. Break them!
Look, take me back to Washington.

- I'll prove to you it's all a mistake.
- No.

- It's all a big mistake, please.
- No, no.

S ERRET R VI RS
- Rules are rules.

- Where is that idiot?
- Rules?

1T T
- Rules!

- Valentine!
- Oh, get me out...

Rules. Oh, gosh, I gotta get...

It's all right. You're all right.

- The FBR, the bullets, the gun.
- Calm down, he's dead.

He's dead.

It's all right. It's OK.
You're safe.

Oh, forgive me.

Permit me to introduce myself.
I am Kropotkin.

Russian Secret Service.

Bureaucrats, they're all alike.

They make life impossible
for an honest citizen,

but a pleasure for a spy.

Take that little beast
who just tried to assassinate you.

He made it unnecessary for me
to go through the painful motions

of really kidnapping you.

Sometimes I thank God for the FBR.

You have to forgive me.
I just don't understand all of the...

Now, then, my dear Dr. Schaefer.

You are about to defect
to Mother Russia.

- I am?
- Of course.

- Defect?
- Logic is on our side.

This isn't a case of a world struggle
between two divergent ideologies

or different economic systems.

Every day, your country
becomes more socialistic,

my country becomes
more capitalistic.

Pretty soon we'll meet
in the middle and join hands.

No, my dear doctor, you're going
to defect because you want to live.

Defect.

How? How? How?

This ship is a marvelous way to travel.

The Canadian Secret Service
have rendered her officially invisible.

And...

...I suggest a leisurely cruise
along the Great Lakes.

Up the Saint Lawrence Seaway,

and then out to the Newfoundland
coast to meet one of our trawlers.

Of course, if you prefer,
I could arrange for a submarine,

but personally I find
submarine travel tedium.

Tedium.

Tedium. Tedium.

Tedium.

- Let's...
- Tedium.

Yes, very nice Russian spy.

I wanted to take a cruise from him.

Tedium

Tedium

Tedium

Tedium

Tedium

Tedium

Krop... Krop...

Krop...

- Good morning, Mr. Krop.
Bl oY Tel L I

- Kropotkin.
- Morning. It's a beautiful day, isn't it?

Yes. Yes, it's brisk.

The sea. I love the sea.

If I couldn't be a spy,
I think I'd like to be a sailor.

- What is it you love about the sea?
- The sea?

The sea, my friend, is freedom.
Look at it. No boundaries.

Here a man's destiny is his own.
It's man against the elements.

When I'm at sea,
suddenly I feel like a giant.

And yet, you chose to be a spy.
Well, don't you find that curious?

Not at all.

Aside from the difference in status,
they're very much the same thing.

The last refuge
of the incurable romantic.

Well, this spying, are you good at it?

If you will forgive my towering
immodesty, I am very good at it.

Like my father before me.

So your...

- Your father was a spy?
- Oh, not "was", is.

He's the head of the foreign section
central office, in Moscow.

- He's a very powerful man.
- Really?

- And your mother?
- Dead.

Purge of 1937.
She was a revisionist.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
- That's all right. It's not your fault.

Well, your father,
now, is he a good spy?

Good? He is the very best.
Ruthless, cunning.

You know, I've often thought that
if he had that much more ambition,

he could have been
the premier of Russia.

Is that why you gave up
your ambition to be a sailor?

- Because your father was a spy?
- I told you.

The last refuge
of the incurable romantic.

- Who arrested your mother in 19377?
- My father. Ruthless.

Well, what was...?

- What was she like?
- My mother?

She was warm and old-fashioned.
You know, a typical revisionist.

- I mean, what did you feel about her?
R

You know...

...I'll bet I can tell you the exact
moment that you gave up

the idea of being a sailor
and became a spy.

Really? That's fascinating. When?

- When they arrested your mother.
- That's right.

How did you know that?

- You really love your father, don't you?
- Love? That's hardly the word.

The man is a colossus. He's Peter
the Great. He's Ivan the Terrible.

You have to see him to believe him.
And you probably will see him.

- Sort of a "super dad", huh?
- Yeah.

- You hate him?
- Yeah, I hate him. No, I love him.

A Freudian slip.

You said aloud for the first time
that you hate your father.

But this is fascinating. What else
do you read in my character?

Mr. Kropotkin, we'd better stop.

I can only deal in the truth. And the
kind of truth that we have to deal with

can be devastating
to a personal facade

as carefully erected as your own.

Please, I insist.
This amuses me. I must insist.

We were talking about
my feelings for my father.

We were talking about
how I may or might not

love my father as much
as I should, or could.

Kropotkin, you call
yourself a free man?

You're the least
free man I've ever met.

You hate your father
so much you couldn't say it.

Why should I hate my father?

Because you loved your mother,
and he killed her, for one reason.

For another, you've lived in abject
fear of the man all your life.

He killed her,
why shouldn't he kill you?

But if I hate my father...

...why did I choose to become a spy?

Since you were afraid to rebel,
you chose the one thing

that you knew would earn approval
from him. You chose to be like him.

That's true.

You must be a very unhappy man.

I do.

I hate my father.

Good.

I hate him.

- I hate my father.
IV

I, V.I. Feodor Kropotkin,
hate my father.

Ay, me.

All my life I've been
miserably unhappy.

But I always thought it
was my Russian soul.

No, not your soul, your neuroses.

N[ ¢
- Oh, yes.

- There's a cure?
- Yes.

- You could cure me.
- Probably, yes.

- But you won't.
- I can't. There's no time.

- How much time?
- Three, possibly seven years.

- I gotta think about something.
- Of course.

- Dr. Schaefer?
- Yes?

Will you take me as a patient?

Well, I don't know what'll happen
to me when I go to Russia.

I doubt very much whether
your father would approve that.

Russia? What's a man like you
doing going to Russia?

It's a nice place to visit,
but I wouldn't want to live there.

I know. I've lived there.

Would you care to go
for a short drive on the lake?

I'd be delighted.

Before we can deal with my problem,
which is very important,

- we have to secure your safety,
- That's true.

- Also important.
B

Go back to Washington
and continue to treat the president.

Are you mad? That's impossible.
The FBR's trying to kill me.

You know the president.
Do you think he'd condone that?

No, no, it's not in his character.
But what about them?

Then obviously it's being done behind
his back and without his knowledge.

- But how does that help me?
- I can get you safely to Washington.

Tell the president.
You'll be OK, you'll be safe.

I can. I can do it.

If I can just beat
the loneliness of the job.

- You have Nan, don't you?
- I even began to think she was a spy.

She is. CEA. Her clearance
is as high as yours.

- What? Are you sure?
- Of course, I've worked with her.

- I can talk to her?
- Of course.

- Why didn't they tell me?
- Bureaucrats.

R e
- Bureaucrats!

- Long distance.
- Operator, this is Dr. Sidney Schaefer.

I'd like to speak to the president of
the United States at the White House.

- Do you have the area code?
- No, I don't know the area code.

202, area code 202. Yes.
Now, would you please connect me?

- What is the area code, please?
- For heaven's sake. Area code 202.

Thank you. What is the calling
party's name?

Thank you, operator.
It's Dr. Sidney Schaefer.

- Will you hold on, please?
- Yes, I'll hold on.

Frustrating, isn't it?

I had a situation like this
once in Bessarabia.

But with the Inter-Arabian
Phone Company, you expect it.

- Operator.
- Yes, operator?

- Are you holding?
- Yes, I'm still holding.

Thank you.

You know, the one thing that
I learned from my patients,

they all hate the phone company.

Even the stockholders of the phone
company hate the phone company.

I know. Bedouins hate
the phone company.

I've never been in a country

where everybody didn't hate
the phone company.

- Isn't that fascinating?
- Operator.

- Yes. Yes, operator?
- Are you holding?

- Yes, well, I'm still hanging on here.
- We're doing our best.

Yes, operator, I'm sure
you're doing your very best.

But this is a very urgent call.
It's a matter of life and...

Hello?

I don't have any more change.
Do you have...?

Beautiful.

The number you have reached
has been disconnected.

Please be sure you are dialing the
correct number. This is a recording.

- Can you...?
- Look, I'll go back to that store,

and I'll get a pocketful
of change. Now, you wait here.

If that foolish coin
of yours drops, try again.

- Yes.
- And please, be nice to the operator.

- Oh, yes, I will.
- The area code is 202.

- I know.
- Would you repeat that?

202.

Yeah, well, hurry back.

Hello? Hello?

Hello?

Let me out of here.

- What took you so long?
- I had to stop for gas.

- Where's the good doctor?
- He's gone.

I thought you took him.

What do you think?

Well, you didn't take him,
and we certainly didn't...

...but...

Looky here.

It wasn't one of those
pushy new countries,

because whoever took him was very
sophisticated and dangerous.

They took the whole booth.

- Who knew he was here?
- Only you and me.

And you only knew
because I called you from town.

- And your phone's not tapped.
- No, but this booth was.

Are you trying to tell me that
every phone in the country is tapped?

- That's what's in my head.
- Don, this is America, not Russia.

What do you want from me?

But who could...

Who?

- Hello?
- Hi there.

Glad to have you aboard,
DI I

Aboard?

We're mighty sorry about any trouble
we might have caused you,

but I know, once we've explained
our problem, you'll understand.

Where is this? I mean,
where am 1? Who are you?

How about that.
I forgot to introduce myself.

My name is Arlington Hewes.
I'm president of TPC.

RN oY
- The Phone Company.

The Phone Company?

Do you have any idea
how much your phone company

spends each year
just on maintenance?

- No, I've never thought about that.
- Well, I guess many people don't.

But those billions of miles of wire
and all those exchanges...

Why, just the maintenance on our
thousands of offices and buildings...

Not to mention our rolling stock:

the cars and trucks,
the airplanes and satellites...

And then all those fine people who are
on the payroll to take care of all that...

Now, wouldn't it be just grand

if we could get rid of that
old-fashioned hardware.

- What's this about?
- There's another thing

that's gonna come
as a surprise to you.

There are quite a few people who
actually dislike the phone company.

Why have you kidnapped me?

And because of this irrational dislike
of their own publicly owned company,

they often don't pay their bills

and sometimes even damage
the equipment.

Would you look over here, doctor?

Now, to look at that hand,
you'd never dream you're also looking

at a miracle in communications,
would you?

Well, let's take a closer look.

Thanks to the science
of microelectronics,

you are looking at a telephonic
receiver and transmitter.

We call it the Cerebrum
Communicator or the CC for short.

This dandy little device
can actually perform

every function of the old-fashioned
telephone and more.

And it does it without
any costly maintenance.

Without telephone poles,
without wires, without exchanges,

without anything in fact, except
another CC in another location.

And now you're probably wondering
why have we made it so small.

Because it will be in and powered by
your own brain.

Fantastic? Well, not quite, no.

We merely inject the CC
into that part of the bloodstream

which leads to the brain.

Technically speaking for you doctors,

we inject the CC
into the internal carotid artery.

The bloodstream carries
it directly to the cerebrum

where it lodges comfortably
in the anterior central gyrus,

which for us laymen is simply
that part of the brain

where intellectual
associations take place.

Can you imagine the ease, the fun,
with which you can place a call?

Why, all you have to do is think
the number of the person

you wish to speak with,
and you're in instant communication

anywhere in the world.

Would you like an opinion
of a qualified psychiatrist

on all that I've just seen and heard?

Yes, sir, I sure would.
We're always interested

in the opinions
of qualified people.

I mean, after all
it's your phone company too.

You're a megalomaniac,
and The Phone Company is psychotic.

Getting back to our problem:
We realize the public has a misguided

resistance to numbers.
For example, digit dialing.

They're resisting depersonalization.

And so Congress will have to pass
a law substituting personal numbers

for names as the only
legal identification

and requiring a prenatal insertion
of the Cerebrum Communicator.

Then a tax could be levied and paid
directly to The Phone Company.

- It'll never happen.
- Well, it could happen

if the president of the United States
were to use the power of his office

to help us mold public opinion
and get that legislation.

- And that's where I come in?
- Yes, that's where you come in.

Because you are in possession
of certain personal information

concerning the president which
would be of immeasurable aid to us

in dealing with him.

Well, you will get
not one word from me.

Oh, I think we will.

If they got him, and I believe they
got him, that is where they got him.

- Beautiful building.
Y Y P NITE el

Designed in 1963 by lkiru Matsumoto.

- Very good.
- Not so good.

It's in their annual statement.
I'm a stockholder.

- Isn't gonna be easy to crack.
- Easier than you think.

Just turn the beams back
on themselves,

and we can walk right through.

- Annual statement?
- No, Moscow briefing.

Very good indeed.

- What now?
- We blow the main power supply.

OK, what kind of time before
the emergency power comes on?

Ten, maybe 12 minutes.
We gotta rush.

- If we don't, what?
- We gotta kill our way out, OK?

- Shall we rescue our doctor?
- Yeah.

- Shall we rescue our doctor?
- Yeah.

If I don't resume my analysis
pretty soon, I'm gonna flip out.

Go ahead.

Remind me to tell you about
our explosives in the Pushkin Dam.

Amazing, the Pushkin Dam
has our tightest security.

- We gotta take a chance.
- Are you mad?

- That's our analyst. You could kill him.
- What else are we gonna do?

The power's coming back on
in a minute.

- We gotta get him out.
- Well, OK. Try it.

But if you kill him,
we're both gonna be very unhappy.

Come on, Sidney, let's travel.

What? No, no, no, not yet.
I've gotta destroy this place.

- We've gotta destroy everything.
- Can't do that.

This is the control for the phone
company for the entire nation.

If you blow up this building,
they won't have service for a month.

- Wreck the economy.
- No. No, we've gotta do something.

We've gotta get out
before the lights come on.

No, no. Now, listen. Listen.
I'm your doctor. Trust me.

It's vital that we make the public
hate The Phone Company.

I mean really hate it.

- You all right?
- Yes.

Now, I can't explain all the details
but, not only America,

but the whole world depends on what
we do here right now. Believe me.

I believe you,
even if I am a stockholder.

Me too. Kropotkin, you've been
briefed on this place.

- What can we do?
- I can implement plan Rasputin.

- Rasputin, what's that?
- It's a plan to disrupt

communications in America.

If I can get into
the main communicator,

I can make every phone
in America go crazy.

It'll take them months to straighten
it out. How's that, doctor?

I
- Great.

The lights are gonna come on now
before we can get out.

- You hold them off while I finish.
- No.

Look, you wanna save the world?
You're the great humanitarian?

Take the gun.

Welcome to the club.

By golly, Dr. Schaefer, we sure wish
you hadn't gotten out of that booth.

Oh, and you have company.

I hope you understand that we have
to deal quite harshly with intruders.

It's not the intention or the policy
of The Phone Company

to deal harshly with anyone.
But there are certain circumstances

when even your phone company
finds it must take certain steps.

- Oh, you have company.
- He's a recording.

It's like a visit with Abe Lincoln
in Disneyland.

...deal quite harshly with intruders.

It's not the policy or intention
of The Phone Company

to deal harshly with anyone. But there
are circumstances in which we...

Warning, extreme emergency.

Warning, extreme emergency.

Come on, Sidney!

Now, look, just pull this.

Save your ass!

Take that, you hostile son of a...

- Merry Christmas!
- Oh, hello.

Look.

- Hey, Kropotkin!
- Don, how are you?

Oh, look at you.

- Merry Christmas!
- Nanotchka, merry Christmas.

Keep your hands off of that woman.

- Hi, Sidney.
- Hi, Sidney.

- Kropotkin, welcome home.
- Thank you.

Give me a little of that.
Hey, listen.

Listen, you'll never guess
why I'm so late getting home.

The president suddenly had
to change his hour to a later one.

To secretly meet with representatives
of The Phone Company.

Who are at this very moment
showing him the TPC top-secret plan

for better service and lower rates.

In an effort to bolster
their ever-sagging public image.

Well, you live with spies,
you've got no secrets.

From Russia with love.
Here, caviar, beluga.

Champagne, Lithuanian.

Well, congratulate me.

- Congratulations!
- For what?

It was in my evening report.
He's now a major general!

Major gen... Oh, that's beautiful.

- But there's one thing you don't know.
- What's that?

I caught my father dealing
with Red China.

I'm now the head
of the foreign section.

Sensational! So how come
he's getting healthier than me, huh?

- I'm all right.
- Interpersonal relationships are better.

It's time we started
considering group therapy.

- All right...
- Let's get drunk.