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[ Ominous music plays ]
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00:00:11,469 --> 00:00:14,264
[ Swing music plays ]
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00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:18,643
♪♪
4
00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:22,439
[ Buzzing ]
5
00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:27,402
♪♪
6
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:28,653
Excuse me.
7
00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:33,033
Would anybody like
to purchase a hand?
8
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:36,870
I have a human hand
for sale.
9
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:41,374
Is -- Is anyone interested in --
in a buying a man's hand?
10
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,001
[ Sighs ]
11
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How much
for just two fingers?
12
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,048
Oh.
13
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:51,217
Buy me a whiskey,
and we'll call it even.
14
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:58,641
So, what do you plan to do
with all them fingers, anyway?
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00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:04,230
[ Ominous music plays ]
16
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:07,400
[ Swing music plays ]
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♪♪
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[ Clapping ]
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♪♪
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[ Applause ]
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:35,178
♪♪
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Announcer: And then
there was Violet Galuhwaye,
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00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:41,309
whose insecurity
climbed in through her window
25
00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:44,604
on the night
of her 19th birthday.
26
00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:46,815
♪♪
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00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:48,108
From that day forth,
28
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:53,363
it controlled her every move
with its steady man hands.
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00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,782
♪♪
30
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:59,035
She was so grateful
for all the attention,
31
00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:02,997
even the air around her
learned how to vomit.
32
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:05,375
[ Hisses ]
33
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,418
[ Swing music plays ]
34
00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:12,674
And just when the world looks
most bleak, love rears its face.
35
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:17,720
It rears and rears
and rears and rears...
36
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,723
[ Twinkle! ]
37
00:02:20,723 --> 00:02:35,905
♪♪
38
00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:37,490
[ Squeaks ]
39
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:42,412
♪♪
40
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,496
[ Door closes ]
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00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:44,873
Announcer: Once all alone,
42
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:48,668
Violet swore if her Insecurity
would only return,
43
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:52,714
she'd never take it
for granted again.
44
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:57,635
It is often said that witnessing
the warmth of true love,
45
00:02:57,635 --> 00:02:59,179
even from a distance,
46
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,640
can transform
the loneliest heart
47
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:06,436
into a burning pile
of garbage.
48
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,646
♪♪
49
00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:10,690
Thankfully, the local hospital
50
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:14,360
was well versed
in modern medicalia.
51
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:18,406
Scalpel.
52
00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:19,991
Bone saw.
53
00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:22,744
[ Saw whirring ]
54
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,871
Slam poet.
55
00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:30,126
Oh, say can you scream,
56
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:33,296
by the con's burly plight?
57
00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:36,591
In God we thrust,
in butts we nut.
58
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:40,762
Uncle Sambo
and Agent Orenje Julieass
59
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:44,933
used mustard gas
and ketchup gas
60
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:48,144
to relish truth, justice,
61
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:51,481
and the American't waste.
62
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:55,526
Oh, that was lovely.
63
00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:56,569
Did you write it?
64
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:59,781
Nurse, tape her up, please.
65
00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:02,617
Announcer:
Once her mouth was taped up,
66
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:05,954
people began to see
Violet's beauty.
67
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:09,666
And after others
see your beauty,
68
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:12,585
you may actually
become beautiful.
69
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:16,047
Possibly even blond.
70
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:19,926
Violet became so beautiful,
she grew beauty marks.
71
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:24,764
So many that soon you could
no longer see her face --
72
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:28,017
just the beautiful
beauty marks.
73
00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:29,644
[ Pop! ]
74
00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:32,772
Now everyone who gazed upon her
was captivated
75
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:35,358
by her comeliness.
[ Wolf-whistle ]
76
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:38,528
But there was only one
she wanted.
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00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:43,408
♪♪
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00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,492
[ Twinkle! ]
79
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:46,536
[ Dial tone, dialing ]
80
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:48,288
Woman: Hello? 911?
81
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,747
God, please come quick!
82
00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:51,708
He's choking!
He's choking!
83
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,376
This beautiful monster came in,
84
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,044
flaunting
her ravishing good looks...
85
00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:56,838
[ Choking ]
...and her exquisite allure
86
00:04:56,838 --> 00:05:00,000
murdered the only man
she'll ever love!
87
00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:02,302
He's dead!
88
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,549
Announcer: Beauty got blood
on its hands that night,
89
00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:07,961
which revealed one thing.
90
00:05:07,961 --> 00:05:12,298
Man: When I ponder the infinite
expanse of the universe,
91
00:05:12,298 --> 00:05:21,558
I realize just how insignificant
we humans truly are.
92
00:05:21,558 --> 00:05:24,477
I don't like feeling
insignificant, see?!
93
00:05:24,477 --> 00:05:25,770
How do you like it?!
94
00:05:25,770 --> 00:05:27,147
Huh?
95
00:05:27,147 --> 00:05:30,442
Yeah, bitch, get in there!
Yeah, get!
96
00:05:30,442 --> 00:05:31,651
[ Sucking ]
97
00:05:31,651 --> 00:05:32,694
[ Grunting ]
98
00:05:32,694 --> 00:05:34,237
Announcer: That we drink
to drown the darkness
99
00:05:34,237 --> 00:05:38,116
that's been punishing us
ever since that mysterious day
100
00:05:38,116 --> 00:05:42,328
when all the stars packed up
and left the sky.
101
00:05:42,328 --> 00:05:44,289
[ Swing music plays ]
102
00:05:44,289 --> 00:05:48,960
♪♪
103
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:53,047
Like how, after 35 years,
even the healthiest couples
104
00:05:53,047 --> 00:05:57,719
must find ways to keep
the love fresh and exciting.
105
00:05:57,719 --> 00:05:59,512
Gloria!
106
00:05:59,512 --> 00:06:02,515
Gloria, go get me a beer!
107
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:11,203
What's takin' you
so long in there?!
108
00:06:11,203 --> 00:06:14,248
I don't see
no beer in my hand.
109
00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:17,251
Do you see a beer
in my hand?
110
00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:21,130
My hand wants that beer,
Glor!
111
00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:22,423
It's gettin' antsy.
112
00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:27,386
My hand's itchin' for
that beer we discussed, Glor.
113
00:06:27,386 --> 00:06:29,221
Look at it!
114
00:06:29,221 --> 00:06:30,431
The hell?
115
00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:32,975
It's makin' sauce, Glor.
116
00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:34,143
Here's your damn beer.
117
00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:36,312
Don't bring me a beer
right now, woman!
118
00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:38,439
My hand's making sauce.
119
00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,399
The hell's
comin' outta there?
120
00:06:40,399 --> 00:06:44,278
My mom's famous
boogigabatch sauce.
121
00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:46,989
You're makin' a mess
all over the floor, Harry.
122
00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:48,240
Glor, you know
123
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:52,078
how good my mom's secret
goojedubatchi sauce is?
124
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,120
We're gonna be rich.
125
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,831
Ah, geez. Is another
money-grubbin' scheme?
126
00:06:55,831 --> 00:06:57,959
Just taste it.
127
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:00,795
Oh, my God.
128
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,422
It's the most incredible thing
I've ever known.
129
00:07:03,422 --> 00:07:05,257
It can't be comin' from you.
130
00:07:05,257 --> 00:07:06,467
It's better than you.
131
00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:08,344
Do you see it
coming out of there?
132
00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:10,179
Yeah.
From your hand there.
133
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:12,723
So I am makin' it, see?
134
00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:14,225
Now go get
the money bucket.
135
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:16,227
You gonna let me touch
the money bucket?
136
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:17,687
Ooh la la!
Chu-cha-cha!
137
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:20,523
You catch it in the bucket,
sell it in town,
138
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,525
we're in the gravy, baby.
139
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:24,485
You married right,
I tell ya.
140
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:26,696
I'm gonna call my mother
an' tell her.
141
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:29,490
She always said
you'd never amount to nothing.
142
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,283
Don't call her now!
143
00:07:31,283 --> 00:07:32,994
Handle it first.
144
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:35,579
This is my chance to patch
things up with my ma.
145
00:07:35,579 --> 00:07:36,789
Now that I'm finally
proud of ya.
146
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:40,751
Glor, all this sauce is
gettin' wasted, ya ding-dong!
147
00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:42,712
You know what?
Mother was right about you.
148
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,380
All ya ever do
is sit on yer ass
149
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:45,756
gushin' sauce out of ya hand.
150
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:48,384
Glor, the bucket.
Please.
151
00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:49,760
Hello? Yeah.
Hey, Ma.
152
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,555
I was just callin' to say
you were right about the bum.
153
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:55,391
Come on, Gloria.
Get it yourself.
154
00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:56,726
I'm on the phone, Harry.
155
00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:59,353
You know I don't like
to get outta my chair.
156
00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:01,355
Money's dumpin' here.
C'mon.
157
00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:04,483
You don't have control
over me no more, Harry.
158
00:08:04,483 --> 00:08:06,152
I'm a wealthy woman now.
159
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,403
I'm through with you.
160
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,613
Please tell me
you're gettin' the bucket.
161
00:08:09,613 --> 00:08:12,783
Or at least a beer?
-I'm leavin' you, Harry.
162
00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:15,453
I'm gonna travel the world
with my big riches.
163
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,872
And where'd
you get them riches?
164
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:21,667
I happen to be partner
in a very lucrative
165
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:24,336
new sauce organization
of some kind.
166
00:08:24,336 --> 00:08:25,463
So long!
167
00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:26,505
[ Rug rips ]
Aah!
168
00:08:26,505 --> 00:08:27,590
Gloria! Baby!
169
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,091
Are you okay?
170
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:31,385
Harry, Harry...
171
00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:32,636
I'm not gonna make it.
172
00:08:32,636 --> 00:08:35,014
Oh, God!
I wish I could save you,
173
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:38,517
but I-I don't like
to get outta my chair.
174
00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:40,644
At least I'm gonna die
a wealthy woman.
175
00:08:40,644 --> 00:08:44,106
Finally, I can afford
to be sorry, Harry.
176
00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:47,109
Sorry I got so selfish
after I got rich.
177
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:49,779
Maybe that's the secret
that the secret sauce
178
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:52,239
was trying to teach us --
179
00:08:52,239 --> 00:08:53,699
that love is a...
180
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:55,910
[ Choking ]
181
00:08:57,328 --> 00:09:00,748
Noooooooooo!
182
00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:01,957
Noooo!
183
00:09:01,957 --> 00:09:05,586
Announcer: The secret to love
was lost forever that day,
184
00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:07,713
but Harry hung on for weeks,
185
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:10,549
refusing to eat
any of the murderous sauce
186
00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:11,717
that took his lady wife.
187
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,762
Tragically, he didn't like
to get out of his chair,
188
00:09:14,762 --> 00:09:18,432
so he began to waste,
to starve,
189
00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:21,310
to die to death.
190
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,521
♪♪
191
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:26,232
[ Women vocalizing ]
192
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,733
♪♪
193
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:30,277
[ Glimmer! ]
194
00:09:30,277 --> 00:09:33,864
♪♪
195
00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:38,244
And as his old friend and
sudden savior reared her face,
196
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:43,040
Harry's gaze glimmered
and glormed with the realization
197
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:46,710
that beauty glistens in the eye
of the beholder.
198
00:09:46,710 --> 00:09:49,463
[ Echoing ]
Beholder, beholder.
199
00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:52,550
[ Glimmer! ]
200
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:55,553
[ Sucking ]
201
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,388
Man: [ Thinking ] I'm beholding.
202
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:58,540
I'm beholding.
203
00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:02,726
I'm beholding.
204
00:10:02,726 --> 00:10:05,855
Announcer:
So whoever beholds the hardest
205
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:09,525
can make the sky insecure
once again...
206
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:11,735
[ Angelic choir vocalizing ]
207
00:10:11,735 --> 00:10:15,114
...make it break out
in a disgusting rash of zits
208
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:19,910
across the greasy face
of the endless night.
209
00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:21,704
♪♪
210
00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:24,540
[ Harry groaning ]
211
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:29,503
♪♪
212
00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:32,756
♪ There's blood in the kitchen
213
00:10:32,756 --> 00:10:35,593
♪ There's blood in the hall
214
00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:42,600
♪ There's blood in the parlor
where my lady falls ♪
215
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,728
♪ "Oh, master, oh, master
216
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:48,689
♪ Don't lay the blame on me
217
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:52,151
♪ 'Twas the false nurse
and Lankin ♪
218
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:55,696
♪ That killed your lady"
219
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:58,782
♪ Long Lankin was hanged
220
00:10:58,782 --> 00:11:01,952
♪ On a gibbet so high
221
00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:08,167
♪ And the false nurse was burned
in a fire close by ♪
222
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,461
♪ La-da-da, dum
223
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:14,423
♪ Mmmm
224
00:11:14,473 --> 00:11:19,023
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