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[ Traffic noises ]
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♪♪
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Announcer: But the other thing
about this jail was...
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it could only afford
one wall of bars.
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Guard!
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Whenever a prisoner
wanted to escape,
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the guards had to lug it over
to him so he could try.
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Ugh. Ugh.
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Auuuugghhh!
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All right, pal.
You done here?
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00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:37,912
Yeah, I'm good.
Thanks, guys.
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00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:39,789
Yeah, yeah.
[ Snaps fingers ]
13
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:42,500
Damn it, we supposed
to be on break.
14
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I mean, where's our rest?
15
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It's as though, despite the fact
that we are the jailers,
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00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:50,633
in a sense,
we are in our own prison...
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00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:52,093
of the mind.
18
00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:56,222
Oh, man.
What a thought!
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Announcer:
That's when Prisoner 72301
20
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,686
figured out how to escape.
21
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Guard, bars!
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Do it now, or I say
something so profound,
23
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it'll blow every mind
in this joint.
24
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Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, easy.
Let's not get heavy here.
25
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,823
I-I'm --
I'm bringing it.
26
00:01:13,823 --> 00:01:18,244
You -- Your head here.
27
00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:20,080
J-J-Just don't
say anything
28
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,999
to upend my world view,
all right?
29
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I got kids.
I got kids.
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You know what
I always wondered --
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like, what's the deal
with society, bruh?
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Oh, man,
that's a trip.
33
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You're free!
No bars can hold you now, boys.
34
00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:44,145
Yah, boys! Yah! Yah!
Whoo-hoo!
35
00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:46,815
Where did he go?
W-Where'd he go?
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Aah!
37
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Aaaaaaaaaaaah!
38
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Aaaaaaaaaaah!
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Announcer: Then again, some
people are born victims --
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all of them.
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00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:17,595
♪♪
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And some days, your whole life
flashes before your eyes,
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00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:25,436
in real time,
starting with Day One.
44
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One last push, ma'am.
It's a boy!
45
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Oh! Oh, God.
46
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,777
What?
Oh, no!
47
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What is it?!
48
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I'm sorry, ma'am --
he's a dirty pig.
49
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[ Cries ]
50
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Announcer: But some accidents
are even worse...
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00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,958
when the victim
doesn't deserve it.
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Sir?
Mr. Lem, can you hear me?
53
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Oh. Where am I?
54
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Who am I?
55
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Your name is Neil Lem.
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You've been in an accident.
You were driving,
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and a woman was
on the sidewalk without a bra.
58
00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:03,641
You took your eyes off the road
to ogle her breasts.
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00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:06,895
Oh.
You hopped the curb
60
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,271
Oh!
And its owner.
61
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Oh, God.
And his kids.
62
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Ohh!
And their friends.
63
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,568
Oh.
And their pet hamster.
64
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:17,155
But, miraculously,
we were able to save...
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only the hamster.
66
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I...was ogling?
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The good thing is you managed
to swerve back onto the road.
68
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:26,080
Thank God.
Straight into
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Ohh!
None of those
70
00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:29,417
The parents
are devastated.
71
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:31,336
Understandably,
many have bought guns...
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Ohh!
...and are going on
73
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I-I don't know who I am,
but I'm -- I'm --
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I'm sure I did not mean
to ogle a girl.
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Woman. Woman.
She wants to meet you.
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00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:45,350
Meet me? Why?
It's the least
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I mean, it seems like you
like her so much.
78
00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:49,729
We thought,
maybe you two
79
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,648
meet under these tragic
circumstances,
80
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:54,108
it bonds you into
an unlikely romance
81
00:03:54,108 --> 00:03:55,652
wherein you help
each other heal.
82
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,362
Could be an amazing
love story.
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00:03:57,362 --> 00:04:00,073
Oh. Um...I...Okay.
84
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,158
Do -- Do I --
Do I look all right?
85
00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:03,952
Sure. Lila!
86
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,286
Come on in, honey.
87
00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:07,538
Wait. W-When did
the accident happen?
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00:04:07,538 --> 00:04:09,249
It was about
three hours ago.
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Why?
She's just...
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older than I --
I'm sorry.
91
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,212
Is she not your type?
No!
92
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:15,171
I didn't --
I didn't mean...
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00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:18,800
She's really vulnerable
right now.
94
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,803
She's gone.
I hope you're happy.
95
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:25,640
[ Hyperventilating ]
96
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,106
Sir?
Mr. Lem?
97
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,983
Can you hear me?
98
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,734
What...happened?
99
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,653
You said some offensive
things to a woman,
100
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,363
and the media got wind
of everything you've done.
101
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,657
Mm-hmm.
There's been riots across the state.
102
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:44,325
The whole
country's in chaos. Oh.
103
00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:45,618
But before
it got out of control,
104
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,704
the police were deployed
to maintain the peace...
105
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:49,706
Thank Christ for --
...which means thousands
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00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:52,333
of innocent citizens
have been shot quite dead.
107
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:55,378
That's awful.
The human animal will take only so much
108
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:58,423
before they rise up to tear
down governments that oppress.
109
00:04:58,423 --> 00:04:59,716
-Ohh.
-Sensing weakness,
110
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:00,000
the North Koreans
launched the first nuke.
111
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,553
-Ohh!
-But after we retaliated,
112
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,722
Iran, Russia, China,
Japan, India,
113
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,682
Brazil unleashed
all they had.
114
00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:09,684
Most of Earth's
population is dead.
115
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:14,314
Of the survivors,
90% are mutant-ed.
116
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The only thing
the globe agrees on
117
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is that this is all your fault,
and you must pay.
118
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,612
[ Hyperventilating ]
119
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:25,241
Mr. Lem? Can you hear me?
120
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,535
Where am I?
What happened?
121
00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:29,412
The mutants consider you
their God...
122
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:30,830
...presuming this was
all your grand plan
123
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:33,833
to remake civilization with
their kind as our overlords.
124
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:34,667
Ohh. Ohh.
125
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,545
But we normals beseech you --
stand with us.
126
00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:39,297
Ohh. Ohh.
Declare allegiance
127
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,424
Aah.
Will you wave
128
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:44,260
I-I swear I'll never
ogle anyone again.
129
00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:45,303
Forget about that!
130
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,763
You're the only
fertile male left --
131
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,473
we need your help
to repopulate. What?
132
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:49,849
Come.
Give me some semen.
133
00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:51,142
Oh. Ohh.
Hurry. Come on.
134
00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:52,518
Hit me, stat!
Uh, okay.
135
00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:55,521
Do you have, like,
a-a dirty magazine?
136
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:57,023
Haven't you
ogled enough?!
137
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,400
We've got medical
extraction procedures.
138
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Ohh!
139
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:08,159
Ohh. Hello?
140
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,452
Mr. Lem, you're up.
141
00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:13,039
Great. All's back to normal.
You're free to go.
142
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,291
But the ogling?
143
00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:17,043
Turns out that
was a hoax.
144
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:20,129
You're totally fine.
Exit's through there.
145
00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:23,758
Ohh. Uh.
146
00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:30,264
This is the worst hoax
I've ever been a part of!
147
00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:31,724
And I was in the camps.
148
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,393
Oh!
149
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,144
Guard!
150
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:39,690
Announcer: The only way to
escape the prison of reality
151
00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:44,404
is to turn your life into a lie
so you are not you.
152
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,365
You're a different person
making all this up
153
00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,700
in his journal
of fantastical fiction,
154
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:53,955
a lonely loser
as pathetic as a poet.
155
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:58,960
No, put that down!
Please, n-not poetry!
156
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,670
Aaah!
157
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:03,005
Where'd he go?
Where'd he go?
158
00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:05,675
Announcer: Life flashes forced
Officer Dale
159
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,928
to recall
his first disappointment...
160
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,638
how, since the age of 6,
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00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:14,684
he yearned for a puppy
but his parents were allergic...
162
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,018
to making him happy.
163
00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:19,313
So, instead, they had
his grandma move in,
164
00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:21,023
and Dale taught her some tricks.
165
00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:24,402
He trained Nana to sit up
and beg for her meds.
166
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:29,031
She could shake...
Here, Nana, Nana!
167
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:31,909
...catch a Frisbee
in her teeth.
168
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:35,246
When she messed the rug,
he rubbed her nose in it
169
00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:39,208
until the foul of her
unpleasantness was gone.
170
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:42,628
But when Dale took Nana
to the vet to get fixed,
171
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,297
they discovered she had mange,
172
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:49,510
and he had to put her out of his
misery and into his ecstasy.
173
00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:50,678
[ Gunshot ]
174
00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:53,639
Weeks later, when his chum
got a 3-legged dog,
175
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:57,810
Dale was jealous because he
could only afford a pet leg.
176
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:02,607
It spent all day humping itself,
happy as a lark's arm,
177
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:06,319
and even gave birth
to a litter of toe-lets...
178
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:10,907
until the day it got hit
by a wheel.
179
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:13,326
Doctors had to amputate
his whole body
180
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,828
and replace him
with a wooden one.
181
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:18,706
Other dogs mistook Sock
for a stick,
182
00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:23,002
so he contracted rabies
and went on a rampage.
183
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:26,631
Witnessing such carnage
gave Dale a deep desire
184
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,591
to create his own fate.
185
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:32,595
But tragically, the urge
to conjure a better new world
186
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:36,933
can turn even a decent
human being into a poet.
187
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:41,020
Dale: The sun-dappled lark
crouched on a branch,
188
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:44,357
admiring the brilliance
of the poet...
189
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:47,735
[ Tweets ]
No. That's ridiculous.
190
00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:54,367
The chipmunk crouched
on a branch in awe of the poet.
191
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,369
No, no, no.
192
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,079
Hm. Hm.
193
00:08:58,079 --> 00:08:59,038
[ Gasps ]
194
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:00,373
I know!
There he is!
195
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,542
Sir, we need you to come
with us immediately.
196
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,086
Excuse me? I-I don't...
No, we need your poetry.
197
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,088
It's the only thing
that can save the world.
198
00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:08,798
Your poetry
really matters.
199
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,466
It does?
Totally.
200
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:12,802
The world needs
your poetry right away!
201
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:15,137
For real?
Yes, and the amazing thing --
202
00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:17,056
we're not making fun
of you at all.
203
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,225
The government personally
requested that you,
204
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:22,019
the best poet on earth,
come read his super not boring,
205
00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:23,980
not lame, not solipsistic,
indulgent,
206
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:26,274
narcissistic, vapid,
deluded twaddle.
207
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:28,025
Come on! Let's move!
208
00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:31,112
Oh, my God,
this is amazing.
209
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:33,739
I know! It's incredible.
You're such a good poet.
210
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:36,742
I always secretly hoped
this would happen.
211
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:38,661
Oh, it's happening.
Let's go!
212
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,580
This is so inspiring.
213
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,873
Hang on.
I've got to write about this.
214
00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:44,375
But we need you!
Hold on.
215
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:47,962
Words are coming --
slowly, but, oh, they're coming.
216
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,839
Sir, we don't have time!
217
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:52,758
You know, you're kind of
in my space right now,
218
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:54,552
lagging my flow?
219
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:56,095
Not sure if you've heard,
220
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:59,348
but I've recently been
acknowledged by the military
221
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:00,000
as a pretty important poet,
222
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,811
so I can probably
get you fired.
223
00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:06,439
No. Please don't, sir.
I need this job.
224
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,524
I have 52 children.
Well, now you know
225
00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:10,359
there are some things
more important than sex
226
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:14,238
with a whole bunch
of stupid, beautiful women.
227
00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:16,657
You really taught me
something today.
228
00:10:16,657 --> 00:10:17,908
How did you get so wise?
229
00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:19,535
I've had a lot
of lonely time
230
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:23,581
to think up a lot of very wise,
um, thoughts...
231
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:26,459
Oh, that's so cool.
...thoughts...thoughts...
232
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,752
Anyway, we better go.
233
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,962
World needs you and all.
Yeah, right.
234
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:33,090
My poem isn't finished.
But, sir, the world!
235
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:37,053
I need you to respect
my beautiful process.
236
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:43,351
Aaaaah!
237
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:47,313
Announcer:
And that was the day that man never remembered
238
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:50,608
to stop ogling the Earth.
239
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,234
[ Thwap! ]
240
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:57,073
♪ There's blood in the kitchen ♪
241
00:10:57,073 --> 00:11:00,284
♪ There's blood in the hall ♪
242
00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:07,291
♪ There's blood in the parlor
where my lady did fall ♪
243
00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:11,921
♪♪
244
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:16,521
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