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1
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♪♪
2
00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:09,050
Announcer:
Nevertheless, if you mashed together every soul on Earth,
3
00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:12,721
it would weigh less
than one flea.
4
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:15,849
Ryan Regrt scratched
so religiously
5
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,559
that the sore on his arm
6
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:21,396
grew into the shape
of a small church.
7
00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:25,900
The more fanatic he scratched,
the deeper the itch became,
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00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:28,820
until Ryan was more church
than child,
9
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:33,074
wholly swallowed
by the swell, gone.
10
00:00:33,074 --> 00:00:34,951
His grieving parents
were grateful
11
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,787
for the tragic loss
of their beloved boy,
12
00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:39,247
as it gave them
the perfect place
13
00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:43,960
to mourn the tragic loss
of their beloved boy.
14
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,795
Luckily, the church pastor
15
00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:50,050
taught them how to repent
for this perverse pleasure.
16
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:53,178
Pastor: That's good.
A little to the left.
17
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:57,348
Right there. Ah, don't stop.
Yes. Ahh, ahh. Yes! Oh!
18
00:00:57,348 --> 00:01:00,268
Ohhhhh!
19
00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:08,985
♪♪
20
00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:10,487
Announcer:
But as man evolves,
21
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:14,240
war itself must become
increasingly sophisticated.
22
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,952
You puny maggots need me
to break you into men...
23
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:20,330
'cause you're maggots!
What are you?
24
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:23,833
I'm a maggot, sir!
I can't hear you!
25
00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:25,543
I'm a maggot, sir!!
26
00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:26,711
I don't understand!
27
00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:30,340
Sir! I am -- I'm saying I --
I'm saying a maggot!
28
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:34,177
But I'm confused -- how are you
a maggot of some kind?!
29
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:38,014
Just 'cause you told me I was,
so I'm a maggot, sir!
30
00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:40,350
But how is that
physiologically possible?!
31
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:43,269
Huh, maggot?!
It just is!
32
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:45,355
I can't explain
the biology of it,
33
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:48,108
but I am a maggot,
I swear!
34
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,027
Are you playin' mental games
with me, maggot?
35
00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,946
No, sir!
Am I playing
36
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,156
mental games
with you, maggot?
37
00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:57,283
I really don't know.
I-I really don't know, sir!
38
00:01:57,283 --> 00:02:01,246
[ Sobbing ]
Do I look like I'm playing mental games?
39
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:04,374
Look me in the eye.
What do you see in there?
40
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:06,334
[ Sniffles ]
41
00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:09,796
God, I hope he can't
really see inside me --
42
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,339
how fragile I am...
43
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:14,425
how I can only feel big
by belittling others...
44
00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:18,263
how I'd crumble were I not
held whole by his fear of me.
45
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:22,225
Can he tell that
I'm the real maggot?
46
00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:24,894
Hey, now,
I'm not gonna let you
47
00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:27,105
beat yourself up like that.
48
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,315
Wait. How did --
I can hear your voi--
49
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:32,569
Shh! It's okay.
I genuinely respect you,
50
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:35,446
not because of your performance
of masculinity,
51
00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:39,075
but in spite of it.
But...I'm toxic trash.
52
00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:42,453
You know what I see behind
all your emotional armor?
53
00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:45,123
A real cool cookie.
For real?
54
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:47,584
Triple sugar
shine real, real.
55
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:50,336
I've waited my whole life
to hear someone tell me that.
56
00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:55,550
Now that it happened, why do
I still feel so alone inside?
57
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:58,178
You're not alone.
I'm in there with you.
58
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,388
You're my tough
little guy, okay?
59
00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:03,308
Who's my tough
little guy? I am.
60
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,351
I can't hear you.
61
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,228
I-I'm your tough
little guy!
62
00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:08,354
Louder!
63
00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:10,273
I'm your tough little guy!
64
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:13,610
God, I feel so appreciated
for the first time.
65
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:16,029
How can I ever
thank you, guy?
66
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,072
How 'bout, uh, maybe --
67
00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:20,033
I don't know --
a -- a little kiss?
68
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,243
Oh.
That's not what I...
69
00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:24,412
That -- That would make me
uncomfortable.
70
00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:26,372
After all
I've done for you?
71
00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:28,625
One quick little kiss
inside of our minds.
72
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,294
No one has to know.
Um, okay.
73
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:34,464
Um, well, o-okay,
just -- just one.
74
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:38,092
[ Smooches ]
75
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:40,386
That wasn't
so bad, was it?
76
00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:43,014
I guess not.
Gimme a little more.
77
00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:47,268
Mmm.
Mmm. Mmm.
78
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:49,437
This is all
happening so fast.
79
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:51,272
[ Growling ]
What was that?
80
00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:54,484
Be still, my cookie.
This'll be over quick.
81
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,653
[ Crunching ]
82
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:59,239
Where'd I go?
Where am I?
83
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:03,076
You're in the realm
of love eternal.
84
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,285
Isn't it beautiful?
85
00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:05,578
I-I don't know.
86
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,872
Just kidding.
You're in my tummy.
87
00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,666
It's beautiful.
88
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:12,919
Oh, boy.
I gotta go to the bathroom.
89
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:18,007
[ Groans ]
[ Plopping ]
90
00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:21,135
I feel like you're taking
advantage of me, Private.
91
00:04:21,135 --> 00:04:22,845
Aw, that's all
in your head.
92
00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:25,807
Which reminds me --
I-I forgot to wipe. Hang on.
93
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,310
Well, we better
get back to it
94
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:30,895
before the guys
notice anything.
95
00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:34,607
And don't you dare squeal
about what I done did to you.
96
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:39,487
Well, do I look like I'm
playing mental games, maggot?!
97
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,781
No, sir!
You're not, I swear!
98
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:44,367
Then answer this question,
maggot --
99
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,744
why do you treat me like dirt
when all I ever wanted
100
00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:49,998
was to bask
in the light of your love?!
101
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:54,460
[ Sobbing ]
102
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:57,588
Great! You're ready!
What?
103
00:04:57,588 --> 00:04:58,756
This was all a part
104
00:04:58,756 --> 00:05:00,000
of a covert elite
psychic training program.
105
00:05:01,342 --> 00:05:03,469
You are now
the perfect soldier.
106
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:07,557
Really? Thanks.
W-What an honor.
107
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:12,020
Yep. Go on now. The big war
is right through there.
108
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,981
♪♪
109
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,275
[ Laughter ]
110
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:19,652
Well, that takes care
of that dildo.
111
00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:22,989
Announcer: Private Ray Pontle
simply did what was required
112
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:26,367
to get out of his
dangerous combat obligations.
113
00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:29,746
Now he was free to pursue
his true calling --
114
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:33,249
a life of secretly watching
women purchase underwear.
115
00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:37,295
-Aah!
-He knew Sarge would be fine.
116
00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:42,759
Sergeant Pat Mounder, on behalf
of the U.S. Armed Forces,
117
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:44,719
it's my duty
to inform you
118
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:47,305
that we're gonna have
to let you go.
119
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,640
[ Robotic voice ]
You are firing me?
120
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,017
It's not your fault.
121
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:54,645
It's just you're not a good
fit for our organization.
122
00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:57,774
You're more like a piece of meat
that just keeps on living.
123
00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:01,569
But your war made
me like this.
124
00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:03,905
Now, w-we could
get into all that
125
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:05,490
"he said, meat said"
stuff,
126
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:08,076
but you'd be better off
trying for a job
127
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:10,411
as a raisin or a maggot.
128
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,164
I'll kill you.
129
00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,749
I'll kill everyone!
130
00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:17,335
Congratulations!
131
00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:20,421
You passed your cyborg
warrior training.
132
00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:21,798
You're ready!
133
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,674
What an honor.
134
00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:27,011
[ Music playing ]
135
00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:31,766
Announcer: Tessa Doinel had
wasted enough of her life
136
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:33,768
doing whatever men
wanted her to do.
137
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:38,815
She decided to take a stand
and buy the blue ones this time.
138
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:43,569
Find what you're
looking for?
139
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:46,447
Did you see these underwear?
T-They...
140
00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:50,118
Yes, all the panties on this
rack are self-bleeding.
141
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:50,952
But why?
142
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,704
They bleed
so you don't have to.
143
00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:56,124
Ooh, these would
look sexy on you.
144
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:58,000
No, I-I don't like it.
145
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,504
Not your color?
No, it's the blood.
146
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:04,173
Oh.
Well, there are other fluids.
147
00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:07,427
These ones here
are self-snotting.
148
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,053
[ Coughs ]
149
00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:11,305
Ooh,
that's hot on you.
150
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:13,266
You looking to spice up
your marriage?
151
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:16,269
Well, I'd like
to have kids, so...
152
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,478
You should've said so.
153
00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:21,732
These ones are crotchless
for easy...you know.
154
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,693
Go on, push.
Huh?
155
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,027
Push.
Unh.
156
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:27,029
Don't be shy.
[ Grunts ]
157
00:07:27,029 --> 00:07:28,406
[ Moans ]
158
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,158
[ Grunting ]
159
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:31,742
[ Moaning ]
160
00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:33,161
Here it comes.
161
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:34,871
Harder. Harder!
162
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:35,997
[ Grunting ]
[ Moaning ]
163
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:38,499
[ Water splashes, baby cries ]
164
00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:41,627
Ooh, that's sexy.
165
00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:43,880
You broke it,
you bought it.
166
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,841
I don't know how to take
care of it. Gotcha covered.
167
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:48,426
Just feed the goddamn thing
168
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,636
till it moves out
or goes to jail.
169
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:54,182
Truth is, I-I don't actually
have a husband.
170
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,308
Not a problem.
171
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:58,853
We carry a wide selection
of wifebeaters.
172
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:05,485
I knew I'd find love if o--
Oh, oh, oh!
173
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:06,652
He dumped me!
174
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:09,322
I'll never bask
in the light of love...
175
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,491
love...love...
love...love...
176
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,368
Announcer: Private Pontle
had found his soul mate.
177
00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:15,912
He just had to speak to her
178
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:19,123
and begin his new life
of perfect joy.
179
00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,374
Wait! Miss!
180
00:08:20,374 --> 00:08:22,251
[ Horn honking ]
181
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:24,128
Woman's voice:
Attention.
182
00:08:24,128 --> 00:08:25,588
You have activated our
183
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,423
automated insecurity system.
184
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:30,259
I didn't take anything.
Go on -- check.
185
00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:32,762
There's nothing missing.
186
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,514
Oh. I see.
187
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,141
You're saying that there's
something missing in me,
188
00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:38,184
is that it?
189
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,895
Like there's a hole
in my soul or something?
190
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:44,732
How dare this thing attack me!
Trying to make me feel guilty?
191
00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:48,569
Judge me? I'm a good guy.
So maybe I'm not perfect.
192
00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:51,739
But I'm expected to what --
search inside of myself
193
00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:54,534
and confront
the bad things I've done?
194
00:08:55,785 --> 00:09:00,581
Okay, fine! I made him suffer
in a really bad war!
195
00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:02,166
I'm a monster!
196
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,335
How can I pay
for what I've done?!
197
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:08,464
You can be forgiven for how you
treated Sergeant Pat Mounder
198
00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:11,300
if you seek absolution
from above.
199
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,803
And Sarge is probably fine,
right?
200
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,763
Right? Right?
Right? Right?
201
00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:19,475
Announcer: Sergeant Mounder
was thrown into war after war
202
00:09:19,475 --> 00:09:23,980
until every shred
of his flesh was blown up.
203
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:26,691
They managed to keep
his essence alive,
204
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:30,653
though he was stripped down
to pure consciousness energy --
205
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:34,407
the perfect killing machine.
206
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,659
Contrite,
Private Pontle prostrated
207
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,119
before his higher power,
208
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:41,831
begging for holiness
to bright his life.
209
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:47,461
♪♪
210
00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:48,671
It is often said
211
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:52,174
you should never give a man's
pure consciousness
212
00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:55,595
a clear shot
to exact vengeance.
213
00:09:57,221 --> 00:09:59,599
But the yucks was on
the sergeant again
214
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,000
because, when you're tormented
by the itch of guilt,
215
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:05,938
there is only one path
to relief.
216
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:08,941
Private:
Oh, that's good. Yes, yes. Right there. To the left.
217
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:12,278
Ah, yes. Right there, yes.
That's good.
218
00:10:13,904 --> 00:10:15,906
I'm free!
219
00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:19,452
[ Gasps ]
220
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,287
I'm basking in love.
221
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:24,707
I'm basking in love!
Oh, I'm basking in love!
222
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:26,584
Announcer:
And if you spend your life
223
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,586
praying for the light of love...
224
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,713
-I'm basking in love!
-...you magnify it in your head
225
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:34,091
until it can caress the stuff
between your atoms...
226
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:36,636
-Aaaah!
-...that gunk in there
227
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:41,599
that makes them
all stick together as one whole.
228
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:44,435
Tessa: Aaaah!
229
00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:48,731
♪ There's blood in the kitchen ♪
230
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,901
♪ There's blood in the hall ♪
231
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:58,407
♪ There's blood in the parlor
where my lady did fall ♪
232
00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:05,164
♪ Long Lankin was hanged
on a gibbet so high ♪
233
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:11,962
♪ And the false nurse was burned
in a fire close by ♪
234
00:11:12,012 --> 00:11:16,562
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