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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,437 --> 00:00:19,578 For the past few years, Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant, and Karl Pilkington 2 00:00:19,612 --> 00:00:24,417 have been meeting regularly for a series of pointless conversations. 3 00:00:24,452 --> 00:00:26,052 This is one of them. 4 00:00:26,087 --> 00:00:27,721 Testing. Is that all right? 5 00:00:30,324 --> 00:00:34,060 Hello, and welcome to The Ricky Gervais Show, with me, Ricky Gervais, 6 00:00:34,094 --> 00:00:35,962 Stephen Merchant... Hello. 7 00:00:35,996 --> 00:00:39,532 And a little round-headed buffoon. That is... Karl Pilkington. 8 00:00:39,566 --> 00:00:40,766 Right. 9 00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:47,295 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 10 00:00:47,307 --> 00:00:49,543 I think it probably best, uh, Rick, 11 00:00:49,577 --> 00:00:53,748 if we return to the very beginning of time, the dawn of man. 12 00:00:53,783 --> 00:00:57,520 Because, of course, uh, even in primitive prehistoric ages, 13 00:00:57,554 --> 00:01:00,023 medicine was practiced in some ways, 14 00:01:00,058 --> 00:01:01,959 from the, uh, research people have done... 15 00:01:01,993 --> 00:01:03,628 Cave paintings and the like. 16 00:01:03,662 --> 00:01:05,997 Uh, Karl, I wonder if you would just give us your initial thoughts... 17 00:01:06,031 --> 00:01:10,402 On, um, you know, the, uh, the medicine of the ancient world. 18 00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:13,372 Uh... 19 00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:16,342 You, you're not...you sound like you're... If you haven't studied it or... 20 00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:18,711 Or you're being... You being modest? Are you being modest? 21 00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,145 Never, never really thought about it. 22 00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:23,615 I know that, um, Tutankhamun, 23 00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,450 - he, uh... - Tutankhamun? 24 00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:28,253 He, he died of like a, of a knee injury. 25 00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:30,556 So, they didn't have that much medicine knocking about back then. 26 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,626 Right, where did you get this information from? It sounds vague. 27 00:01:32,661 --> 00:01:35,129 It came off a chariot. They're dangerous things. 28 00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:37,132 He came off a chariot. 29 00:01:37,166 --> 00:01:39,735 Honestly, it's...you're gonna make yourself look daft here, 30 00:01:39,769 --> 00:01:41,170 because that's what happened. 31 00:01:41,204 --> 00:01:43,139 Imagine that. In a room, 32 00:01:43,173 --> 00:01:45,541 with Karl Pilkington, we make ourselves look daft. We make ourselves look daft. 33 00:01:45,576 --> 00:01:47,711 How would we have... That would be incredible. 34 00:01:47,745 --> 00:01:50,346 Shall we move on to, um... 35 00:01:50,381 --> 00:01:52,315 The ancient world in terms of Egyptians, 36 00:01:52,350 --> 00:01:54,818 the Greeks, the Romans, of course, cause they made huge advances. 37 00:01:54,885 --> 00:01:58,354 Particularly the Romans, who understood, of course, the importance of sanitation. 38 00:01:58,389 --> 00:02:00,657 You know, famously, you know, streets were clean. 39 00:02:00,691 --> 00:02:03,793 Yeah. Don't you think that... 40 00:02:03,827 --> 00:02:08,064 If we hadn't have cleaned up as much, that... 41 00:02:08,098 --> 00:02:10,233 I don't know, we'd be stronger. 42 00:02:10,268 --> 00:02:12,970 What? Uh, well, well I know what you mean. 43 00:02:13,004 --> 00:02:14,471 Yeah, they, they say... They're saying now... 44 00:02:14,506 --> 00:02:16,207 They say let your kids eat dirt. 45 00:02:16,241 --> 00:02:19,711 Yeah of course, well that, that's exactly what, um, uh, immunization is. 46 00:02:19,745 --> 00:02:21,980 Giving you a bit of the disease. 47 00:02:22,014 --> 00:02:23,749 Yeah but it's gone mental now. Whenever a baby's born, 48 00:02:23,783 --> 00:02:25,451 he's drugged out of his eyeballs. 49 00:02:25,485 --> 00:02:27,754 It's only about a week old. They're giving him all sorts of shots. 50 00:02:27,788 --> 00:02:29,055 Like what? 51 00:02:29,090 --> 00:02:30,691 Loads of stuff, stuff for whooping cough. 52 00:02:30,725 --> 00:02:32,293 Yeah, you don't want whooping cough. 53 00:02:32,327 --> 00:02:33,961 Tutankhamun could have died of whopping cough. 54 00:02:33,995 --> 00:02:35,864 No, but, but they give it loads of stuff. 55 00:02:35,898 --> 00:02:37,966 And, uh, now it's like you... 56 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,801 I don't know, it's making us weak. 57 00:02:39,836 --> 00:02:41,804 There's this big thing, you know, about the super bug... 58 00:02:41,838 --> 00:02:44,574 Where people took half the course of antibiotics. 59 00:02:44,608 --> 00:02:47,344 It was almost like an immunization, 60 00:02:47,378 --> 00:02:51,415 to the bacteria and virus against the antibiotic. Yeah. 61 00:02:51,450 --> 00:02:52,950 That's, that's what I mean. So, yeah... 62 00:02:52,985 --> 00:02:54,953 We need some germs, as you'd call 'em. But 63 00:02:54,987 --> 00:02:56,621 there are some that we have eradicated. 64 00:02:56,656 --> 00:02:59,691 I mean I think it was, uh, in our lifetime, 65 00:02:59,726 --> 00:03:02,628 that they eradicated smallpox from the world. 66 00:03:02,662 --> 00:03:04,196 There are rumors, of course... 67 00:03:04,231 --> 00:03:09,368 Uh, that both Russia and America still have 68 00:03:09,403 --> 00:03:12,972 the smallpox virus under lock and key, which they could theoretically... 69 00:03:13,007 --> 00:03:16,009 Breed and use in a chemical warfare situation. 70 00:03:16,043 --> 00:03:18,411 Well, there was a bit of a scandal a few years ago. 71 00:03:18,445 --> 00:03:20,046 I think ten years ago, where... 72 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,582 In a, a university laboratory, 73 00:03:22,616 --> 00:03:26,352 someone came across a marked yogurt pot, in deep freeze, that had smallpox in it. 74 00:03:26,386 --> 00:03:29,488 When you say it was marked, was it like someone's put their name on it... 75 00:03:29,522 --> 00:03:32,057 Cause they don't want someone to, uh, to eat their smallpox yogurt? 76 00:03:32,092 --> 00:03:33,559 No, no. No, I, I think they, they... 77 00:03:33,593 --> 00:03:35,895 You know, they looked into it, and it was the deep, 78 00:03:35,929 --> 00:03:38,063 frozen, um, smallpox virus. 79 00:03:38,097 --> 00:03:40,766 What I mean is, it's under lock and key or, or... 80 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,001 Or frozen, minus... Well, that's not good enough, is it? 81 00:03:43,036 --> 00:03:44,536 Why? Under lock and key and all... 82 00:03:44,570 --> 00:03:46,771 It's just, it's not good enough. Get rid of it. 83 00:03:46,806 --> 00:03:49,607 Why are they keeping a little tub of smallpox knocking about? 84 00:03:49,642 --> 00:03:51,543 Well they're not, they're not meant to be. 85 00:03:51,577 --> 00:03:53,912 Well, that's a lesson... Yeah, but what was it doing there in the first place? 86 00:03:53,946 --> 00:03:56,013 That's, to me, that's like in James Bond, 87 00:03:56,048 --> 00:03:58,248 where they don't kill him when they have the chance. 88 00:03:58,282 --> 00:04:00,550 There's always that little thing of, "Oh let's play with danger. 89 00:04:00,584 --> 00:04:02,252 "Let's keep a bit." Yeah. 90 00:04:02,286 --> 00:04:04,187 Well it's probably... Next to AIDS in the Kia-Ora bottle. 91 00:04:04,221 --> 00:04:08,490 I don't, I don't understand why you, why you'd, why you'd store that. 92 00:04:08,525 --> 00:04:10,225 Well, there's probably a presumption. 93 00:04:10,260 --> 00:04:12,461 It's probably an overhang from the, uh, Cold War. 94 00:04:12,496 --> 00:04:13,930 Where people were thinking... 95 00:04:13,964 --> 00:04:15,898 Well, listen, what if Russia's still got some smallpox? 96 00:04:15,933 --> 00:04:17,734 We better hang on to some smallpox. 97 00:04:17,768 --> 00:04:19,668 It's just clutter, though, as well, isn't it? 98 00:04:19,703 --> 00:04:21,837 You say, we're obsessed with keeping stuff. 99 00:04:21,871 --> 00:04:25,073 And it's the same with germs, we can't even say, "Get rid of that." 100 00:04:25,108 --> 00:04:26,975 We won't be needing it. Smallpox... 101 00:04:27,010 --> 00:04:29,178 We'll keep it, just in case. Get rid of it! 102 00:04:31,014 --> 00:04:34,017 Don't, we've got this obsession thing again at saving everything. 103 00:04:34,052 --> 00:04:37,054 You say that but, of course, famously, Alexander Fleming 104 00:04:37,089 --> 00:04:41,493 discovered, uh, what may be the most important breakthrough... 105 00:04:41,527 --> 00:04:45,764 Um, of the 20th century, which was the first antibiotic, I think, in 1928. 106 00:04:45,799 --> 00:04:49,167 And he discovered that cause he, uh, left a bit of old bread out... 107 00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:52,837 For awhile, and it went all moldy in his kitchen. 108 00:04:52,872 --> 00:04:54,172 And he thought, "Oh, what's that?" 109 00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:56,841 - Oh, let's have a look. - I know but it's... 110 00:04:56,875 --> 00:05:01,545 Like I've said to you before, it's, it's down to him being scruffy, more than anything. 111 00:05:01,579 --> 00:05:03,113 Well, no... It just seems like... 112 00:05:03,147 --> 00:05:04,614 There's a lot of scruffy kitchens around. 113 00:05:04,649 --> 00:05:06,616 But, think if his cleaner had come in and gone, 114 00:05:06,650 --> 00:05:10,153 "Oh, Mr. Fleming, oh, you, oh, you..." 115 00:05:10,187 --> 00:05:13,624 You disgust me, you fucking filthy, scruffy cunt. 116 00:05:13,658 --> 00:05:15,159 I'm gonna throw this bread away. 117 00:05:15,193 --> 00:05:18,229 He's gonna go, Um, uh, Maude. 118 00:05:18,264 --> 00:05:20,498 What did you do with that, um, old bread I left out? 119 00:05:20,533 --> 00:05:23,335 It had gone green, sir, so I chucked it away. 120 00:05:23,369 --> 00:05:27,139 Oh, Maude, you dopey, fucking slut. 121 00:05:27,174 --> 00:05:30,276 You've just caused millions and millions of people to die. 122 00:05:30,310 --> 00:05:31,910 Keep out of my fucking kitchen! 123 00:05:31,945 --> 00:05:33,579 I know, but, but don't put it there. 124 00:05:33,613 --> 00:05:36,448 It's the same way, smallpox in a yogurt pot... So you're on Maude's side? 125 00:05:36,482 --> 00:05:39,351 It's a yogurt, in a yogurt pot. Wow. 126 00:05:39,385 --> 00:05:40,886 You're asking for trouble. 127 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,955 But what if Maude had come in and thrown that away? 128 00:05:42,989 --> 00:05:45,157 Again? He couldn't, he couldn't shout at her. 129 00:05:45,191 --> 00:05:47,626 She's doing her job. I'd be annoyed if it was still there. 130 00:05:47,660 --> 00:05:49,595 Yeah. Just don't put like... 131 00:05:49,629 --> 00:05:52,431 Yogurt pots with smallpox in the fridge for a starter. Yeah, but you... 132 00:05:52,466 --> 00:05:54,834 Yeah, but you were saying earlier, um... 133 00:05:54,868 --> 00:05:57,136 "Oh, let's let babies eat mud. Don't inject 'em." 134 00:05:57,171 --> 00:05:59,406 - Yeah, but... - "Let 'em crawl around a dirty floor. 135 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:00,774 "Clean up the floor and no one would die." 136 00:06:00,808 --> 00:06:02,676 I did say that. But we've gone too far now. 137 00:06:02,711 --> 00:06:04,011 Babies are coming out mad. 138 00:06:04,045 --> 00:06:06,447 Oh, they can't handle anything now. 139 00:06:06,481 --> 00:06:09,183 They're coming out all maddy. 140 00:06:09,217 --> 00:06:11,018 All maddy? Get ill... Yeah they get ill easy. 141 00:06:11,052 --> 00:06:14,087 They're not tough babies anymore. 142 00:06:14,122 --> 00:06:18,124 We're ending up with a load of weak people who need looking after all the time. 143 00:06:18,158 --> 00:06:19,759 That costs a lot of money. 144 00:06:19,793 --> 00:06:21,927 And they can't do anything. They're useless. 145 00:06:21,962 --> 00:06:24,763 Now that doesn't happen in, in other nature. 146 00:06:24,797 --> 00:06:27,799 If a little, weak bird is born... 147 00:06:27,833 --> 00:06:29,667 You see Bill Oddie saying, "That won't last..." 148 00:06:31,103 --> 00:06:33,338 He says, he says, "That won't last a week," and he's right. 149 00:06:33,372 --> 00:06:36,641 You watch and say, "Oh that, that third baby that came out died." 150 00:06:36,675 --> 00:06:38,475 And what's your point, Karl? And he's right. 151 00:06:38,510 --> 00:06:40,411 That modern medicine, which can help people live to the age of 75, 80... 152 00:06:40,445 --> 00:06:43,581 They shouldn't be doing that? They should let people just die off? 153 00:06:43,615 --> 00:06:45,550 I just... Well, here's something, right? 154 00:06:45,584 --> 00:06:46,884 Go on. The estate that I grew up on... 155 00:06:46,919 --> 00:06:48,453 - There's a woman there. - Yeah. 156 00:06:48,487 --> 00:06:50,288 Scruffy Sandra. Her name is. 157 00:06:50,322 --> 00:06:54,525 I like her already. Oh, it's great. It's so descriptive. 158 00:06:54,559 --> 00:06:57,095 Now... She had no chance, even if she cleaned up her act. 159 00:06:57,129 --> 00:06:58,863 Yeah. She'd come in looking like Pretty Woman. 160 00:06:58,897 --> 00:07:00,465 You go, "All right, Scruffy." 161 00:07:00,499 --> 00:07:02,200 No... What's the point? What is the point of... 162 00:07:02,235 --> 00:07:03,568 - Oh, fuckin' hell. - So, so the thing is, 163 00:07:03,603 --> 00:07:05,837 she used to always get on these buses called, "Dial-A-Rides" 164 00:07:05,871 --> 00:07:07,906 that were sort of like posh taxis. 165 00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:09,975 You could call for one that come round to your house. 166 00:07:10,009 --> 00:07:11,710 Yeah. And it would pick you up and you'd pay like 50 P. 167 00:07:11,744 --> 00:07:13,812 But it would pick up a bunch of other people as well? 168 00:07:13,847 --> 00:07:15,948 Yeah, yeah on the way. So it, it... 169 00:07:15,982 --> 00:07:17,883 It would take ages to get to where you're going. And what a nightmare that is. 170 00:07:17,918 --> 00:07:19,418 No, oh it's, it's, it's good, though. 171 00:07:19,452 --> 00:07:21,019 It's kind of a bit of a day out, old people used to love it. 172 00:07:21,054 --> 00:07:22,821 Cause you'd get to see things. Right. Right. 173 00:07:22,856 --> 00:07:25,124 And, uh, you'd hear a call coming in on the radio, that, you know... 174 00:07:25,158 --> 00:07:27,993 Scruffy Sandra is being picked up . And you go, "Oh, God." 175 00:07:28,028 --> 00:07:30,763 And she'd always have loads of bin bags with her for some reason. 176 00:07:30,797 --> 00:07:31,997 Now the thing is... 177 00:07:32,032 --> 00:07:33,633 Well, she sounds clean. 178 00:07:33,667 --> 00:07:35,468 She, no, she stunk. Well she's taking out the bin bags. 179 00:07:35,502 --> 00:07:36,802 Was she homeless? 180 00:07:36,837 --> 00:07:39,104 No, she wasn't homeless. No, she used to just, uh... 181 00:07:39,139 --> 00:07:41,206 She just didn't bath and that. She just stunk. 182 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,108 But the, but the weird thing is... 183 00:07:43,142 --> 00:07:44,709 Why didn't they call her Stinky Sandra? 184 00:07:44,743 --> 00:07:48,146 She never was ill. Right. 185 00:07:48,180 --> 00:07:50,516 - People didn't sit next to her. - Yeah. 186 00:07:50,550 --> 00:07:52,184 - Because she stunk. - Yeah. 187 00:07:52,218 --> 00:07:55,821 Now because of that, anyone who might have had a bit of flu, 188 00:07:55,856 --> 00:07:59,492 or a cold, never sat next to Scruffy Sandra. 189 00:07:59,527 --> 00:08:00,860 Right. Cause she stunk. 190 00:08:00,895 --> 00:08:03,330 But that was good. That was like a protection thing for her. 191 00:08:03,365 --> 00:08:06,767 Cause she knew that because she stunk, 192 00:08:06,802 --> 00:08:08,135 no one wants to sit next to her. 193 00:08:08,170 --> 00:08:12,639 She wouldn't pick up the, the germ. 194 00:08:12,673 --> 00:08:14,574 Right. Now, but this is quite... 195 00:08:14,608 --> 00:08:16,743 Your point is, in order to fend off illness, 196 00:08:16,777 --> 00:08:19,512 you have to not bathe, and so you stink? 197 00:08:19,547 --> 00:08:22,415 So you're saying, that it wasn't that she'd built up an immunity. 198 00:08:22,450 --> 00:08:25,819 It was that she stank so much, that flu wouldn't come near her. 199 00:08:27,154 --> 00:08:29,255 This is such a specific example. 200 00:08:29,289 --> 00:08:31,457 It's, it's not applicable in any other scenario. 201 00:08:31,491 --> 00:08:33,659 There's always colds, there's always flu. 202 00:08:33,693 --> 00:08:36,228 It's whether your immunity is, is good or bad. 203 00:08:36,262 --> 00:08:37,996 That's interesting, isn't it, that, um... 204 00:08:38,031 --> 00:08:40,833 More, sort of, colds are spread through shaking hands, 205 00:08:40,867 --> 00:08:44,970 than people, you know, just taking in the air. 206 00:08:45,004 --> 00:08:47,906 That's why some sort of germaphobes don't even shake hands anymore. 207 00:08:49,009 --> 00:08:50,542 Yeah but that's going too far. 208 00:08:50,576 --> 00:08:52,077 Cause they're gonna die of something. 209 00:08:52,111 --> 00:08:54,045 You can't be that paranoid. You gotta get on with your life. 210 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:55,614 Loneliness. 211 00:08:55,648 --> 00:08:57,115 And it's good to feel ill, because when you feel better, 212 00:08:57,150 --> 00:08:59,451 you appreciate how good you feel. Doesn't make any sense at all, 213 00:08:59,485 --> 00:09:00,752 "It's good to feel ill." No, no. 214 00:09:00,787 --> 00:09:02,387 Doesn't make any sense at all. No, it does afterwards. 215 00:09:02,421 --> 00:09:03,922 The other weekend when I was ill... 216 00:09:03,957 --> 00:09:06,291 I don't know what was up with me but I got, I got something. 217 00:09:06,325 --> 00:09:07,759 Symptoms? Uh... 218 00:09:07,793 --> 00:09:09,260 Went to toilet a lot. 219 00:09:09,295 --> 00:09:10,629 Felt sick at the same time. 220 00:09:10,663 --> 00:09:14,400 Got sweat on, uh, felt weak, had the shakes. 221 00:09:14,434 --> 00:09:16,001 - Uh... - Just a bug, yeah. 222 00:09:16,035 --> 00:09:19,404 Lasted, lasted probably about 24 hours. 223 00:09:19,439 --> 00:09:21,874 After that 24 hours... 224 00:09:21,908 --> 00:09:23,876 You go, "Oh, I feel good again." 225 00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:25,310 It's nice to feel good again. 226 00:09:25,344 --> 00:09:27,579 And it makes you appreciate how good you feel. 227 00:09:27,613 --> 00:09:29,948 Now sometimes, I don't know if I feel well. 228 00:09:29,982 --> 00:09:32,183 Doesn't make any sense at all, either. 229 00:09:32,218 --> 00:09:34,919 What do you mean, sometimes you don't know whether you feel well? 230 00:09:34,954 --> 00:09:36,554 Because I, because I have been in my body for years. 231 00:09:36,589 --> 00:09:38,723 There he goes again. Don't...yeah. 232 00:09:38,757 --> 00:09:40,591 There he goes again. The two minds... No. 233 00:09:40,625 --> 00:09:42,659 If there was, if there was some sort of kit... 234 00:09:42,694 --> 00:09:43,860 That the doctor said, 235 00:09:43,895 --> 00:09:44,961 How are you feeling, Mr. Pilkington? 236 00:09:44,996 --> 00:09:46,196 And I go, "Oh, I think feel all right." 237 00:09:46,230 --> 00:09:47,264 And they go, "Well, do you?" 238 00:09:47,298 --> 00:09:48,565 And, I don't know. And they go... 239 00:09:48,599 --> 00:09:50,567 Well, step into the machine. Right? 240 00:09:50,601 --> 00:09:54,204 Get into the machine, and if he could somehow... 241 00:09:54,239 --> 00:09:59,810 Transfer my feeling, into his body. 242 00:09:59,845 --> 00:10:01,779 So I could feel how he feels. 243 00:10:01,813 --> 00:10:03,514 And then he can feel how I feel. 244 00:10:03,549 --> 00:10:05,917 And he'll go, "Oh, you're not well at all." 245 00:10:05,951 --> 00:10:08,186 Your heartbeat's irregular for a start. 246 00:10:08,221 --> 00:10:09,655 You're a maniac. This is... 247 00:10:09,689 --> 00:10:11,256 I don't know what's going on here. No. Because... 248 00:10:11,291 --> 00:10:13,893 Cause you're... Why don't you just accept that if you feel well, 249 00:10:13,927 --> 00:10:16,229 you know... Cause you don't know if you feel well. 250 00:10:16,263 --> 00:10:17,664 Hang on, let's get this machine built. 251 00:10:17,698 --> 00:10:19,065 Sorry, why are people bothering studying AIDS? 252 00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:20,700 We gotta get this machine built. 253 00:10:20,735 --> 00:10:23,103 Listen, this machine could do a lot of good, if they could do it. 254 00:10:23,137 --> 00:10:24,505 Why? 255 00:10:24,539 --> 00:10:26,807 Because some people, you hear about people who go... 256 00:10:26,841 --> 00:10:28,542 Oh, I think I've got a bit of wind. 257 00:10:28,576 --> 00:10:30,643 Before you know it, they drop down dead. 258 00:10:30,678 --> 00:10:32,446 Right? Because they didn't know. 259 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,381 They just... Well, 260 00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:38,452 Didn't, didn't Mr., uh, Mr. Jones have, have a sweat on, Mrs. Jones, before... 261 00:10:38,486 --> 00:10:40,053 Oh yeah, he did, but he always had a sweat on. 262 00:10:40,088 --> 00:10:42,589 Well, didn't it bother him? No, he was used to it. Happened for years. 263 00:10:42,623 --> 00:10:44,157 Why didn't you come in? 264 00:10:44,191 --> 00:10:45,491 So, and what would the machine do again? He felt all right. 265 00:10:45,525 --> 00:10:48,360 The machine would make my doctor... 266 00:10:48,394 --> 00:10:49,995 Yeah. Feel like me. 267 00:10:50,029 --> 00:10:51,530 So Mr. Jones went... Cause there's too many ill people. 268 00:10:51,564 --> 00:10:53,231 to the doctor, and said, "Oh, I've got a sweat on." 269 00:10:53,266 --> 00:10:55,133 - Right? - Right, so he'd go, 270 00:10:55,168 --> 00:10:57,969 Hmm, well I tell you what, get in the machine. 271 00:10:58,004 --> 00:10:59,972 - So, Mr. Jones gets in the machine. - Yeah. 272 00:11:00,006 --> 00:11:01,640 The doctor hits the button. 273 00:11:01,674 --> 00:11:03,409 Mr. Jones gets into the doctor. 274 00:11:03,443 --> 00:11:05,344 - The doctor goes, "You have got a sweat on." - Right. 275 00:11:05,378 --> 00:11:08,214 I'm familiar with this cause I had a fella in the other day with a similar thing. 276 00:11:08,248 --> 00:11:10,349 Take three of these. 277 00:11:10,384 --> 00:11:11,985 You are a mental case. 278 00:11:12,019 --> 00:11:13,419 I don't know what that, I don't know what this is. 279 00:11:13,454 --> 00:11:15,154 Because... But, why can't the doctor make 280 00:11:15,189 --> 00:11:17,190 that observation like a doctor does? Yeah, what is this... 281 00:11:17,224 --> 00:11:19,059 Why can't the doctor, using his knowledge, observe the person... 282 00:11:19,093 --> 00:11:20,994 I'll tell you why... This is not a scene from Ghost. 283 00:11:21,029 --> 00:11:22,796 This is like Patrick Swayze... 284 00:11:22,831 --> 00:11:24,365 Listen. When me nerves were short... 285 00:11:24,399 --> 00:11:26,367 Are they not short already, have they extended since then? 286 00:11:26,402 --> 00:11:29,070 Well, I just have to do stretches, and it's pulled 'em. 287 00:11:29,104 --> 00:11:30,872 It's pulled 'em about. Right. 288 00:11:30,906 --> 00:11:33,807 But when I, when I had that, I'm not very good with words. 289 00:11:33,841 --> 00:11:36,376 Go on. So when I was going in saying, 290 00:11:36,411 --> 00:11:39,046 "Doctor, me knee's aching." 291 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,881 Uh, and he'd go, 292 00:11:40,915 --> 00:11:43,717 "What sort of ache is it?" I don't know. 293 00:11:43,751 --> 00:11:46,320 Yeah. I don't know. I, it's just an ache. 294 00:11:46,354 --> 00:11:47,988 Toothache. It's like a toothache, in me leg. 295 00:11:48,022 --> 00:11:49,589 No, but it's different. It's a different ache. Go on. 296 00:11:49,623 --> 00:11:51,324 Now the thing is... Ass ache. It's like an ass ache. 297 00:11:51,358 --> 00:11:53,259 It's hard to explain an ache. 298 00:11:53,293 --> 00:11:55,294 So he'd have to feel the ache and then he could make an assumption from that? 299 00:11:55,328 --> 00:11:56,362 Thank you. 300 00:11:56,396 --> 00:11:57,997 So he would presumably go through training... 301 00:11:58,031 --> 00:12:00,499 Going in the machine, and then they'd bring in various sick people. 302 00:12:00,533 --> 00:12:03,202 And he would experience and feel every single ailment. 303 00:12:03,236 --> 00:12:05,004 - Great. - Yeah, but over... 304 00:12:05,038 --> 00:12:07,607 Doctor, I'll let you know now what a swift kick in the bollocks feels like. 305 00:12:07,641 --> 00:12:09,375 Just in case you ever have to diagnose that. 306 00:12:09,410 --> 00:12:12,713 Oh, you. Okay, I'll remember that one. 307 00:12:12,747 --> 00:12:14,248 Yeah, but... 308 00:12:14,282 --> 00:12:15,816 Doctor, now you're gonna feel a spike up the ass. 309 00:12:15,850 --> 00:12:17,251 It's all about... 310 00:12:17,285 --> 00:12:19,454 Okay, I'll remember that one. Okay. Doctor... 311 00:12:19,488 --> 00:12:22,123 No, couldn't I just wait till the man comes in with a spike up your arse? 312 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:24,226 No, no, you've gotta tell you so you know feel it. 313 00:12:24,260 --> 00:12:26,095 But I reckon I could assess it 314 00:12:26,129 --> 00:12:27,396 if he's coming with a spike up his ass, I'd be able to tell. 315 00:12:27,431 --> 00:12:28,964 No, no. You've gotta experience everything 316 00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:31,033 before someone comes in and gets into your body like Ghost. 317 00:12:31,068 --> 00:12:32,835 And you'll know what it is. 318 00:12:32,869 --> 00:12:35,104 Hey, listen. Let's not, let's not dismiss this idea out of hand, of course. 319 00:12:35,138 --> 00:12:37,906 Because you'll famously remember, uh, Rick, that 320 00:12:37,940 --> 00:12:40,875 Karl had the idea of a man who can grow backwards. 321 00:12:40,910 --> 00:12:44,712 So, he's born as an old man and when he dies, he's a young baby. 322 00:12:44,747 --> 00:12:46,481 And with all ideas come something. 323 00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:48,115 Einstein said that. 324 00:12:48,150 --> 00:12:49,984 He said, "If, if a an idea isn't..." 325 00:12:50,018 --> 00:12:52,053 Go on. Wait, wait, wait... 326 00:12:52,088 --> 00:12:54,089 Just let him finish it. We've got an Einstein quote here. What did Einstein say? 327 00:12:54,123 --> 00:12:55,624 Yeah. This is an historic day. 328 00:12:55,658 --> 00:12:57,126 Um, Karl, sorry, what were you saying? 329 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,462 What did, what did, uh, what did, uh, Albert Einstein say? 330 00:12:59,496 --> 00:13:01,264 He just said something along the lines of... 331 00:13:01,299 --> 00:13:03,467 No, no, no. Give us the quote. 332 00:13:03,501 --> 00:13:05,669 It doesn't matter about how, how he worded it. No, no, no don't... 333 00:13:05,703 --> 00:13:07,237 It's the point in hand. Well, I think it is. 334 00:13:07,272 --> 00:13:10,873 I think a quote... I think like all, I mean any, any sort of, uh... 335 00:13:10,908 --> 00:13:13,476 Poetic content of anything is exactly how it's... 336 00:13:13,510 --> 00:13:16,412 How it's worded. So just, what, what did Einstein say exactly? 337 00:13:16,446 --> 00:13:17,980 It's not... Well, he... What is it? 338 00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:19,514 He said something along the lines of... 339 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:20,682 Go on. Uh... 340 00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:22,717 An idea. If an idea isn't daft... 341 00:13:22,751 --> 00:13:24,919 Oh, start again. Start again. No, come on, let's hear it. 342 00:13:24,954 --> 00:13:26,521 No cause he start... 343 00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:29,523 He said, if an idea isn't daft, it isn't worth thinking about. 344 00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:31,192 What? Say that again. 345 00:13:31,226 --> 00:13:34,429 If an idea isn't daft, it isn't worth thinking about. 346 00:13:34,464 --> 00:13:35,964 I can't imagine him saying, "daft." 347 00:13:35,999 --> 00:13:38,034 No I can't. I can't. No, well, it was something like that, though. 348 00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:43,073 Meaning that every new idea seems a bit mental. Mmm. 349 00:13:43,107 --> 00:13:44,307 Yeah. 350 00:13:44,342 --> 00:13:45,575 Right? It's a good point. 351 00:13:45,610 --> 00:13:47,110 But then it leads to something. 352 00:13:47,145 --> 00:13:49,112 Mmm. I'm not sure that he... Well, well, no. 353 00:13:49,147 --> 00:13:50,880 But I think if we were sat with Einstein now. 354 00:13:50,915 --> 00:13:52,782 And you had brought up the machine that allows doctors to feel, 355 00:13:52,817 --> 00:13:54,917 - I don't think he'd be saying we should pursue that idea. - No. 356 00:13:54,952 --> 00:13:58,020 There's some ideas that go that, that... I think the earth might be round. 357 00:13:58,055 --> 00:14:00,289 You go, "Oh, it is flat." And then there's people... 358 00:14:00,323 --> 00:14:04,592 Who stand in doorways, covered in crucifixes with, uh, tinfoil on their head... 359 00:14:04,626 --> 00:14:06,727 Saying, "Jesus is in my cock." 360 00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,362 Yeah, but... Now, he's a mentalist. 361 00:14:08,396 --> 00:14:10,030 Yes, but what I'm saying is... 362 00:14:10,064 --> 00:14:11,799 Wouldn't you have said it was mental years ago... 363 00:14:11,833 --> 00:14:14,468 When someone said, "I'm gonna make a machine, so I can look inside your head." 364 00:14:14,502 --> 00:14:18,906 Years on, "Hello, get in the machine, we've got an MRI scanner." 365 00:14:22,879 --> 00:14:26,715 Um, you may obviously be aware, Karl, 366 00:14:26,749 --> 00:14:31,253 that the first contraceptive diaphragms, centuries ago, 367 00:14:31,288 --> 00:14:33,755 were, uh, citrus rinds. 368 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:37,759 Half on orange rind, for instance, would be, would be used. 369 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:40,730 - I mean... - More selfish men turned 'em inside out. 370 00:14:42,366 --> 00:14:45,268 I believe that's also still being used in parts of Manchester. 371 00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:47,604 Half of what? 372 00:14:47,638 --> 00:14:50,106 An orange. Just think of your head. 373 00:14:52,176 --> 00:14:53,509 And it worked? 374 00:14:53,544 --> 00:14:57,446 Well, we don't know, uh, at this juncture. 375 00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:00,481 I mean maybe, I don't know. 376 00:15:00,516 --> 00:15:02,483 It worked for contraception, because women went, "Fuck off." 377 00:15:02,518 --> 00:15:06,253 What are you coming to me with a fucking orange on your cock for, you dopey cunt? 378 00:15:06,287 --> 00:15:08,856 But it could, I mean again, it's not thinking it of... 379 00:15:08,890 --> 00:15:11,358 We look, we look at it now, and we laugh. 380 00:15:11,393 --> 00:15:13,060 But look, look at what's happening. 381 00:15:13,094 --> 00:15:16,397 People now are always trying to get us to eat more fruit. 382 00:15:17,599 --> 00:15:19,233 - I don't... - Amazing. 383 00:15:19,268 --> 00:15:20,401 That's, that's a way of getting... 384 00:15:20,435 --> 00:15:21,702 I thought for a minute he was gonna say... 385 00:15:21,737 --> 00:15:23,437 I know. Okay, so they start with it... 386 00:15:23,471 --> 00:15:25,105 Then they went from that, the orange rind to say a coconut shell. 387 00:15:25,140 --> 00:15:26,774 Yeah... That was too big, that didn't work. 388 00:15:26,808 --> 00:15:29,110 Run! Here's comes Coconut John. 389 00:15:29,144 --> 00:15:31,479 No, don't put half a pineapple on your cock, that's insane. 390 00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,414 Yeah, no, it's mental. And then somewhere down the line, 391 00:15:33,449 --> 00:15:35,049 they finally got to contraception, as we understand it. 392 00:15:35,084 --> 00:15:36,818 Is that... I thought that was where you going, but no. 393 00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:38,686 No, no. It's something about eating oranges is healthy for you. 394 00:15:38,721 --> 00:15:42,690 No, what I'm saying is, if you go into any well-known supermarket. 395 00:15:42,725 --> 00:15:46,561 And you look at say some young kid who's had a kid... 396 00:15:46,595 --> 00:15:48,796 And you look at stuff in their shopping basket... 397 00:15:48,831 --> 00:15:50,298 Yeah. They're not buying fruit. 398 00:15:50,332 --> 00:15:53,201 They're buying, you know, burgers and chips. 399 00:15:53,236 --> 00:15:55,137 Turkey Twizzlers, crisps. 400 00:15:55,171 --> 00:15:57,940 Yeah. Crisps and all that. Now, but they love having it away. 401 00:15:59,509 --> 00:16:01,910 Get some fruit in. 402 00:16:01,945 --> 00:16:03,979 So, they definitely have fruit in the house. 403 00:16:04,013 --> 00:16:06,448 Which at the moment, a lot of kids don't have fruit in their house. 404 00:16:06,482 --> 00:16:07,983 That's why they're eating Turkey Twizzlers. 405 00:16:08,017 --> 00:16:10,585 But, the mom loves having it her way, 406 00:16:10,619 --> 00:16:12,053 so she would have loads of fruit in. 407 00:16:12,087 --> 00:16:13,688 So if she was... So everyone's happy. 408 00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,724 If she's using an orange for contraception... The kids are eating fruit. 409 00:16:15,758 --> 00:16:17,359 she would, she would also be giving the kids half. 410 00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:18,894 Well, you wouldn't waste it. 411 00:16:18,928 --> 00:16:20,428 So half the orange she'd give to the kids, 412 00:16:20,462 --> 00:16:21,863 and half the orange, she'd stick up her fanny. 413 00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:23,531 Yeah, a treat for everyone. 414 00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:26,233 Have a bit of fruit, and she's got what she wants. 415 00:16:26,267 --> 00:16:28,335 Whereas at the moment, what happens? 416 00:16:28,369 --> 00:16:30,871 A burger is not gonna be helpful for anyone. 417 00:16:35,678 --> 00:16:39,448 If you want me tonight, pop a sesame seed bun on your cock. 418 00:16:41,485 --> 00:16:43,720 Take out the fucking pickle. No one likes a fucking pickle up the fanny. 419 00:16:43,754 --> 00:16:46,156 Oh, he's a bloody romantic. 420 00:16:46,191 --> 00:16:49,827 Oh he, oh he popped a plum roll sausage up my fanny yesterday. 421 00:16:49,862 --> 00:16:51,428 He loves me... 422 00:16:54,533 --> 00:16:57,936 Modern man, in a sense, with all the technology we have, can play God. 423 00:16:57,970 --> 00:16:59,437 And this is something which is huge now. 424 00:16:59,472 --> 00:17:01,806 A lot of ethical discussions about things like stem-cell research. 425 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,408 Should we be interfering? No. 426 00:17:03,442 --> 00:17:05,243 In what should be a Godly terrain? 427 00:17:05,277 --> 00:17:07,846 You say, "No," straightaway. Straightaway, "No." 428 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:11,550 I think, uh, it's sort of like messing about now. 429 00:17:11,585 --> 00:17:13,820 I think that's the problem. 430 00:17:13,854 --> 00:17:16,422 We've got the tools, and they like to use them. And that's what happens. 431 00:17:16,457 --> 00:17:19,593 I've got a sander, uh, for Christmas. 432 00:17:19,627 --> 00:17:21,829 And I can't wait to sand stuff. 433 00:17:21,863 --> 00:17:25,066 I can't even think of enough things that need sanding, but I want to use it. 434 00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:26,267 Not Scruffy Sander. 435 00:17:26,302 --> 00:17:28,336 And that's the problem isn't it? 436 00:17:28,371 --> 00:17:30,305 If you've got the tools, you can't have the tools and say, "Pop 'em in the shed." 437 00:17:30,339 --> 00:17:32,306 No, I want to use 'em. A new tool, here. 438 00:17:32,341 --> 00:17:33,941 They sat in the shed, though. All right. 439 00:17:33,976 --> 00:17:35,610 That's the problem isn't it? All these, all these... 440 00:17:35,644 --> 00:17:38,212 - You know, medical people, um... - Hmm. 441 00:17:38,247 --> 00:17:40,515 That's what happened in The Hulk, isn't it 442 00:17:42,451 --> 00:17:45,988 Yeah. Well again, that's, I'll just say that is a work of fiction, The Hulk. 443 00:17:46,022 --> 00:17:48,491 Yeah, but with all fiction... Comes... 444 00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,727 The future. 445 00:17:52,296 --> 00:17:55,498 Yeah, certainly in science fiction. 446 00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:57,334 But the problem is, this is what I say is the problem. 447 00:17:57,368 --> 00:17:59,770 Go on. Go on though. This is a... Is there a quote from someone? 448 00:17:59,804 --> 00:18:01,705 Well, yeah. Let's sum it up then. Karl, shoot me. 449 00:18:01,740 --> 00:18:03,274 People are living too long. 450 00:18:05,444 --> 00:18:07,979 Is that it? That's not a summary yet. Have one more go. 451 00:18:08,013 --> 00:18:10,081 This is, this is the real one. 452 00:18:10,115 --> 00:18:14,118 - Uh, it'll be something like... - Mmm. 453 00:18:14,152 --> 00:18:16,753 Today's cure is tomorrow's headache. 454 00:18:18,088 --> 00:18:19,422 Is that all right? That's all right. 455 00:18:19,456 --> 00:18:21,190 'Cause what I'm saying there is... 456 00:18:21,224 --> 00:18:23,726 Go on. We can come up with, with stuff. 457 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:25,493 Mmm. 458 00:18:25,528 --> 00:18:27,596 We can come up with a tablet to get rid of headache. Mmm. 459 00:18:27,630 --> 00:18:31,032 Tomorrow, your headache's gone. Your legs are hurting. 460 00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:34,136 So today's cure is actually tomorrow's leg ache. 461 00:18:34,170 --> 00:18:36,238 So today's cure is tomorrow's leg ache. 462 00:18:36,273 --> 00:18:39,242 Yeah. But ages ago I said to you, don't solve problems. Go on. 463 00:18:39,276 --> 00:18:40,676 Yeah. 464 00:18:40,711 --> 00:18:46,682 Because a problem solved is a problem caused. 465 00:18:46,717 --> 00:18:50,586 I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die! 466 00:18:50,620 --> 00:18:52,788 I don't remember that quote. 467 00:18:57,394 --> 00:19:00,930 Medicine is the art or science of healing. 468 00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:06,069 And that doesn't always have to be um, a drug or a surgery. 469 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,237 We mustn't just forget that, um... 470 00:19:08,271 --> 00:19:11,340 Some people don't need medicine. They just need help. 471 00:19:11,374 --> 00:19:14,944 Um, for example, there are people that help disabled people... 472 00:19:14,978 --> 00:19:17,080 Um, have intercourse. 473 00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:19,148 There's someone that actually helps the man 474 00:19:19,182 --> 00:19:20,616 put in his penis... 475 00:19:20,651 --> 00:19:24,121 Um, to the uh, the woman's, um, vagina, and they leave the room. 476 00:19:24,155 --> 00:19:26,790 No, no. I've never seen. I've never even heard of this. 477 00:19:26,857 --> 00:19:29,393 It's true. Absolutely true. There are helpers. Steve? 478 00:19:29,427 --> 00:19:32,529 Yeah, I know I believe that is the case. Yeah. 479 00:19:32,564 --> 00:19:36,901 And that's just, no, just as needed as anything that might cure their health. 480 00:19:36,935 --> 00:19:38,302 But it's not, it's not. That's pleasure. 481 00:19:38,337 --> 00:19:39,771 Yeah. So what are you saying? 482 00:19:39,805 --> 00:19:42,274 Because you can't walk or, or move... 483 00:19:42,308 --> 00:19:45,478 That you can't love someone and want to, to share that love and consummate? 484 00:19:45,512 --> 00:19:46,946 I'm just saying it's not a priority. 485 00:19:46,980 --> 00:19:49,215 Well no, but they, they're gonna live. 486 00:19:49,250 --> 00:19:52,719 They're, they're healthy apart from their disability. 487 00:19:52,753 --> 00:19:53,987 I've met someone. 488 00:19:54,021 --> 00:19:57,491 They want to, you know, consummate this, this love. 489 00:19:57,525 --> 00:20:00,060 And someone is, um, helps them out and goes, well... 490 00:20:00,094 --> 00:20:01,694 You know, that's part of my job. 491 00:20:01,729 --> 00:20:03,196 No it's not part of the job. 492 00:20:03,230 --> 00:20:04,898 But it, it is part of the job. 'Cause no one would take this job on. 493 00:20:04,932 --> 00:20:06,666 Because that's their job. I have never heard anyone say... 494 00:20:06,701 --> 00:20:08,568 Oh, I've had a right day today. 495 00:20:08,603 --> 00:20:10,804 Why? I've been playing with Arthur's, uh, tackle all day. 496 00:20:10,838 --> 00:20:12,572 They don't play with Arthur's tackle. I've never... 497 00:20:12,607 --> 00:20:14,574 They pop Arthur's tackle in Hilda's vagina. 498 00:20:14,609 --> 00:20:16,142 I don't think they do. 499 00:20:16,177 --> 00:20:17,811 They do. How can they enjoy that? 500 00:20:17,845 --> 00:20:19,646 I mean maybe once. They're not doing it to enjoy it. 501 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,582 Maybe once and they'd go, "That didn't work did it? I didn't enjoy that Hilda." 502 00:20:22,617 --> 00:20:24,184 No. How can they enjoy it with a nurse... 503 00:20:24,218 --> 00:20:26,052 But don't, she'd...no. ...stuck there having to do that? 504 00:20:26,087 --> 00:20:30,023 They help her in. She helps Arthur in, or he, might be a male nurse. 505 00:20:30,057 --> 00:20:34,327 Pops Arthur in. Goes, "Okay, Arthur, um, I'll see you in a few minutes." 506 00:20:34,361 --> 00:20:35,762 Right, goes outside. 507 00:20:35,796 --> 00:20:37,931 But what's the point though in that? 508 00:20:37,965 --> 00:20:39,366 Why? 509 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,468 Because it's all about the mood and everything. 510 00:20:41,502 --> 00:20:44,438 He's just stuck onto her like, like a stag beetle coming onto a leaf. 511 00:20:44,472 --> 00:20:46,740 There's no enjoyment in that. 512 00:20:46,774 --> 00:20:49,275 Oh, the well-known, uh, stag beetle copulating with a leaf syndrome. 513 00:20:49,310 --> 00:20:52,513 - No, but I'm just saying... - That's a well-known position in the Kama Sutra. 514 00:20:52,547 --> 00:20:53,847 I'm just saying... No he knows that you know. 515 00:20:53,882 --> 00:20:56,316 He... So I think it's a lovely act. 516 00:20:56,350 --> 00:20:59,019 And someone's willing to... Wouldn't you help someone in? Definitely not. 517 00:20:59,053 --> 00:21:00,287 No? What so... Definitely not. 518 00:21:00,322 --> 00:21:03,156 No, no, say the guy goes, "Oh, this is my wife." 519 00:21:03,191 --> 00:21:07,028 Um, we're both so, I can't... I can't, you know, can you just pop me in, Karl? 520 00:21:07,062 --> 00:21:10,998 Um, you're the only, you know, you're the only person around. 521 00:21:11,033 --> 00:21:13,100 No, I don't think it's important enough. But there are people... 522 00:21:13,135 --> 00:21:14,802 What do you mean you don't think it's important enough? 523 00:21:14,837 --> 00:21:17,871 I'd be happy to go around, put the washing on for them, make the bed. 524 00:21:17,906 --> 00:21:19,206 Do you want a cup of tea? 525 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:20,641 Yeah I'd love one. There you go. 526 00:21:20,675 --> 00:21:23,010 Oh, just before you go... Forget it. 527 00:21:23,045 --> 00:21:25,679 If they asked me to do that, I would, I'd quit. 528 00:21:25,714 --> 00:21:27,414 And I think, I don't think it happens... 529 00:21:27,449 --> 00:21:29,116 Because people wouldn't take it on for a job. It does happen. 530 00:21:29,150 --> 00:21:30,851 You never hear about it. On Comic Relief... It does. 531 00:21:30,885 --> 00:21:32,286 when they're raising money, they don't go, 532 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:33,887 "Thanks to Midland Bank for this $100,000." 533 00:21:33,921 --> 00:21:35,688 That's gonna go towards Arthur getting his end away. 534 00:21:35,723 --> 00:21:38,257 That's ridiculous. So you'd, you would... 535 00:21:38,291 --> 00:21:43,027 Rather them not have the pleasure of each other, than just help 'em in? 536 00:21:43,062 --> 00:21:44,896 No 'cause it would... 537 00:21:44,930 --> 00:21:46,764 They'd work out some way that they could do something for each other. 538 00:21:46,798 --> 00:21:48,432 I want to play the guitar. 539 00:21:48,467 --> 00:21:49,667 Me fingers aren't long enough. 540 00:21:49,701 --> 00:21:51,135 I've knocked it on the head. 541 00:21:51,170 --> 00:21:52,704 It's the same thing. 542 00:21:52,738 --> 00:21:54,272 If you can't do it, don't do it. 543 00:21:54,306 --> 00:21:56,874 So, you're telling me, right, okay, um... 544 00:21:56,909 --> 00:22:00,545 If the, supposing there's a little fellow, he's got no arms, no legs, 545 00:22:00,579 --> 00:22:02,213 - right? - Right. 546 00:22:02,248 --> 00:22:04,750 Little Bob. Okay, there he is. 547 00:22:04,784 --> 00:22:06,852 All right, Karl. All right. 548 00:22:06,886 --> 00:22:11,457 Um, he's got a friend, another little fella with no arms and no legs. 549 00:22:11,492 --> 00:22:13,092 All right, Karl. 550 00:22:13,127 --> 00:22:16,363 Right, they love each other. Two little, two little fellows. 551 00:22:16,397 --> 00:22:18,965 Two little dwarves with no arms and no legs, okay? 552 00:22:18,999 --> 00:22:22,602 Lovely little fellows. They get married, okay? 553 00:22:22,636 --> 00:22:25,805 Karl, you can't, you can't put my, uh... 554 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,474 My penis up my, um, my boyfriend's bottom, can you? 555 00:22:28,509 --> 00:22:29,942 No, I can't, no. 556 00:22:29,977 --> 00:22:31,444 Oh, why not? Why not, Karl? Do you need anything else doing? 557 00:22:31,479 --> 00:22:33,246 Uh, no, I'm fine. I'm fine... 558 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:34,981 No, it's weird how you can manage everything else. 559 00:22:35,016 --> 00:22:37,050 Well, no. I mean, it's well, everything else seems to be sorted. 560 00:22:37,084 --> 00:22:39,285 Well, just the chair. Why do you need help in this department? 561 00:22:39,319 --> 00:22:40,987 Well, because he's over there, and I'm here. 562 00:22:41,021 --> 00:22:42,789 And I just, if you just pop me in and just leave it there. 563 00:22:42,823 --> 00:22:44,057 No, I'm not doing that. It's not good for you. 564 00:22:44,091 --> 00:22:45,692 You've lost your arms and legs. 565 00:22:45,726 --> 00:22:48,027 You'll be losing that soon if you carry on sticking it up there. 566 00:22:53,359 --> 00:23:01,359 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 567 00:23:01,409 --> 00:23:05,959 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 48679

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