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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,478 --> 00:00:02,668 وقتی بچه بودم مامانم از هر فرصتی استفاده میکرد 2 00:00:02,693 --> 00:00:05,578 تا ما رو بغل کنه، ماچ کنه، حسابی بچلونه و خودشو بهمون بچسبونه 3 00:00:05,603 --> 00:00:08,537 و فقط سالی یکبار توقع داشت ما هم محبتش رو جواب بدیم 4 00:00:08,562 --> 00:00:09,628 روز مــادر! 5 00:00:09,653 --> 00:00:11,419 اصولاً ما هم از این فرصت استفاده میکردیم 6 00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:13,175 تا سر به سرش بذاریم و بخندیم 7 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,868 اوه یه نگاه به تقویم مخصوص من بندازین تو پر ترددترین جای خونه هم هست 8 00:00:15,893 --> 00:00:16,718 چطوری رفته اونجا؟ 9 00:00:16,743 --> 00:00:18,148 عجیبه، من ندیده بودمش 10 00:00:18,173 --> 00:00:20,015 می خواید یه نگاهی بندازین؟ 11 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:22,898 ببینید روز خاصی تو ماه مِی داریم که لازمه یادتون باشه 12 00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:24,328 نه من میدونم فقط برنامه ی سینکو دِ مایو هست 13 00:00:24,353 --> 00:00:26,186 فکر کنم مامان راجع به روز کارگر تو فرانسه حرف میزنه 14 00:00:26,211 --> 00:00:27,781 نه روز جنگ ستارگانه 15 00:00:27,967 --> 00:00:29,764 چهارم مِی قرارمون بود، مگه نه؟ 16 00:00:29,789 --> 00:00:31,088 - چطور یادم رفت! - راست میگه 17 00:00:31,113 --> 00:00:32,271 - من عاشق روز جنگ ستارگانم - باید برم خرید 18 00:00:32,296 --> 00:00:33,648 - منم همینطور -نه، نه 19 00:00:33,673 --> 00:00:35,578 - چرا یادم رفته بود؟ - میخواید یه راهنماییتون کنم؟ 20 00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:38,170 بله، هیچی بیشتر از استفاده از روز مادر برای شکنجه ی بورلی گلدزبرگ 21 00:00:38,195 --> 00:00:40,029 باعث نمیشد ما بچه ها با هم متحد و صمیمی بشیم 22 00:00:40,054 --> 00:00:41,945 چی شده؟ از مدرسه برگشتین خونه؟ 23 00:00:41,970 --> 00:00:43,437 چه سوپرایزی 24 00:00:43,462 --> 00:00:45,924 داشتم این کارت های قشنگی که روش برام متن نوشتین رو نگاه میکردم 25 00:00:45,949 --> 00:00:47,487 تقریباً یه سال پیش بود بهم دادین 26 00:00:47,512 --> 00:00:50,042 شاید بهتر باشه شماهام بیاین یه نگاهی بهشون بندازین 27 00:00:50,067 --> 00:00:52,648 شاید یه حسی از اینکه راجع به چیه بگیرین و اینکه چه احساسی به من میدن 28 00:00:52,673 --> 00:00:54,062 دیگه انقدر پرحرفی بسه 29 00:00:54,087 --> 00:00:55,828 من یه غذای میان وعده میخوام 30 00:00:55,853 --> 00:00:57,695 مثلاً یه چیزی که بشه با چیزهای دیگه خورد 31 00:00:57,777 --> 00:00:58,468 مثلِ پنکیک 32 00:00:58,493 --> 00:00:59,898 گندت بزنن، من بیخیال شدم 33 00:00:59,923 --> 00:01:02,070 مورری، تو شنبه شب منو میبری به اون رستوران لاتینه 34 00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:05,218 و قراره بریم چاچا برقصیم چون این بچه ها خیلی قدرنشناس هستن 35 00:01:05,243 --> 00:01:07,429 نه من اصلاً نمی خوام چاچا برقصم 36 00:01:07,454 --> 00:01:10,195 اوه، خیلی خوبم میای چاچا برقصیم ایندفعه میخوام بترکونم 37 00:01:10,220 --> 00:01:12,042 و توام ایندفعه منو نمیندازی! 38 00:01:13,382 --> 00:01:15,640 خیلی خب، به اندازه ی کافی خوش گذرونی کردین کودن ها 39 00:01:15,665 --> 00:01:17,593 برید به مامانتون بگین که میدونین روز مادره 40 00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:19,601 آه، ولی ما کل سال رو به اشتیاق این شکنجه میگذرونیم 41 00:01:19,626 --> 00:01:21,632 این یکی از رسوم خوب خوانوادگیمونه 42 00:01:21,657 --> 00:01:22,589 همین که گفتم! 43 00:01:23,049 --> 00:01:24,214 هی مامان 44 00:01:24,696 --> 00:01:27,882 ما الان فهمیدیم که این آخر هفته روز مادره 45 00:01:27,907 --> 00:01:30,703 چی؟ من اصلاً یادم نبود 46 00:01:31,087 --> 00:01:32,507 وای باورم نمیشه که یادتون بوده 47 00:01:32,532 --> 00:01:34,866 وای من واقعاً خیلی بچه هام رو دوست دارم 48 00:01:34,891 --> 00:01:36,724 حالا نوبته بغل همراه با اشکِ 49 00:01:36,749 --> 00:01:38,261 بچه خرخون رو قوربونی کن و فرار کن 50 00:01:39,122 --> 00:01:41,542 - اوه، سوگلی خودم - داستان منم بگین! 51 00:01:54,929 --> 00:01:56,963 سوم مِی 1980 یا یه چیز تو همین مایه ها بود 52 00:01:56,988 --> 00:02:01,202 و برادرم و رفقاش میخواستن معروف ترین فیلم اون دهه رو تماشا کنن 53 00:02:01,237 --> 00:02:03,366 بابا، ازت می خوام که کنترل رو بدی من 54 00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:06,077 و زمانیکه ما بدون تو مشغول تلویزیون دیدنیم بری برای ما ماچو درست کنی 55 00:02:06,102 --> 00:02:07,841 - نه - واقعاً فکر کردی این راهت جواب میده؟ 56 00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:09,761 آره، الان ما کل فیلم رو از دست میدیم 57 00:02:09,786 --> 00:02:11,643 من یه واچمَن سونی دارم فقط 9 تا باتری لازم داریم 58 00:02:11,668 --> 00:02:12,765 فقط 9 تا باتری لازمه 59 00:02:12,790 --> 00:02:14,056 شما خنگولا میخواید چیکار کنین؟ 60 00:02:14,081 --> 00:02:16,579 امشب میخوان یه فیلم که پخشش از تلویزیون خطرناکه رو پخش کنن 61 00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:17,737 اسمش روز بعدیه 62 00:02:17,762 --> 00:02:19,517 واسه جایی که آمریکا با روسیه جنگ اتمی داشته 63 00:02:19,542 --> 00:02:20,564 - بـــوم! - آمریکا 64 00:02:20,589 --> 00:02:21,884 جیسون روباردز، آره! 65 00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:24,169 همه معلم های مدرسه هشدار دادن که این فیلم رو تماشا نکنیم 66 00:02:24,194 --> 00:02:26,720 برا همین ما باید اینو ببینیم تا پیغام کور خوندین، شفاف منتقل شه 67 00:02:26,745 --> 00:02:28,454 اگه بگم باشه، خفه میشی؟ 68 00:02:28,479 --> 00:02:29,511 قراره بترکونیم! 69 00:02:29,536 --> 00:02:31,923 ولی این اصلاً ترکوندن نبود به هیچ عنوان 70 00:02:31,948 --> 00:02:34,775 این اصلاً برای ترکوندن نیست به هیچ عنوان 71 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:38,069 معلوم شد فیلم روز بعدی تصویری وحشتناک و کاملاً حقیقی 72 00:02:38,094 --> 00:02:40,032 از یه شهر کوچیک دقیقاً مثل شهر ما بوده 73 00:02:40,057 --> 00:02:44,079 که بعد از دستور وحشتناک رئیس جمهور برای جنگ و حمله هسته ای نابود شده 74 00:02:44,104 --> 00:02:45,487 - زیادی واقعیه - جنگ چیز بدیه 75 00:02:45,512 --> 00:02:47,309 - خیلی ترسیدم - دیگه هیچوقت اون آدم سابق نمیشم 76 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:48,720 از این استیو گوتِن بِرگ خوشم میاد 77 00:02:48,745 --> 00:02:49,868 خشمش خیلی زیاده 78 00:02:49,893 --> 00:02:52,315 بابا، اصلاً به چیزی که الان دیدی اهمیتی نمیدی؟ 79 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:54,992 هر لحظه ممکنه یه ابر شکلِ قارچ اتمی بیرون از پنجره امون ببینیم 80 00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:57,509 خودم میگم اون ابر رو بیارن تا شاید تو بعدش خفه شی 81 00:02:57,534 --> 00:02:59,343 و منم بتونم برگردم سَرِ تلویزیون تماشا کردنم 82 00:02:59,382 --> 00:03:01,919 اون شب همه ی کشور اون فیلم رو دیده بودن 83 00:03:01,944 --> 00:03:03,413 و به دنبالش یه ترس فراگیر به وجود اومد 84 00:03:03,438 --> 00:03:05,271 Okay, students, even though we warned you all 85 00:03:05,296 --> 00:03:07,064 not to watch that terrifying TV movie, 86 00:03:07,089 --> 00:03:09,356 apparently everyone in this school did, 87 00:03:09,381 --> 00:03:11,400 as well as 100 million other people. 88 00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:14,392 Therefore, we are going to have an emergency meeting 89 00:03:14,417 --> 00:03:16,540 entitled "The Day After 'The Day After.'" 90 00:03:16,565 --> 00:03:17,759 Of course, the gym is booked, 91 00:03:17,784 --> 00:03:20,829 so it'll be "The Day After The Day After 'The Day After.'" 92 00:03:20,854 --> 00:03:21,759 So, Wednesday. 93 00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:23,184 Oh, my God. How are you? 94 00:03:23,209 --> 00:03:24,408 I had nightmares all night. 95 00:03:24,433 --> 00:03:25,565 I didn't watch the movie. 96 00:03:25,590 --> 00:03:27,691 I spent the night organizing my Garbage Pail Kids 97 00:03:27,716 --> 00:03:29,115 into a protective binder. 98 00:03:29,140 --> 00:03:31,103 Don't want you to feel like things are going too fast, 99 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,728 but this is our nest egg. 100 00:03:32,753 --> 00:03:34,095 Well, after watching that movie, 101 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,253 I realized we don't have any time to waste. 102 00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:37,883 We should have our first kiss, 103 00:03:37,986 --> 00:03:38,970 right here, right now. 104 00:03:38,995 --> 00:03:40,579 We talking cheek or lips? 105 00:03:45,070 --> 00:03:45,962 Uh... 106 00:03:47,055 --> 00:03:48,064 Thank you. 107 00:03:49,274 --> 00:03:50,814 I'm a big fan, big fan of you. 108 00:03:50,839 --> 00:03:52,739 Listen, my parents are renting a house 109 00:03:52,764 --> 00:03:53,896 at the shore this weekend. 110 00:03:53,974 --> 00:03:54,798 Come with me. 111 00:03:54,823 --> 00:03:56,509 We'll spend each moment like it's our last. 112 00:03:56,534 --> 00:03:57,967 What is the deal with this movie? 113 00:03:57,992 --> 00:03:59,728 My mom said I could bring someone, 114 00:03:59,753 --> 00:04:01,653 - so I choose you. - Well, okay, then! 115 00:04:04,764 --> 00:04:07,065 "The Day After" is the best movie ever! 116 00:04:07,579 --> 00:04:11,392 Oh, my God, she just invited you down the shore! 117 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:12,272 I know, Dave Kim. 118 00:04:12,297 --> 00:04:14,431 - But your mom will never say yes. - I know, Dave Kim! 119 00:04:14,456 --> 00:04:16,509 - You gotta think of something. - I know, Dave Kim. 120 00:04:16,534 --> 00:04:18,321 Lucky for me, the timing was perfect. 121 00:04:18,346 --> 00:04:19,376 (Bette Midler's "Wind Beneath my Wings" plays) It was Mother's Day. 122 00:04:19,401 --> 00:04:22,001 I'd strike hard and fast with a schmaltzy gift 123 00:04:22,026 --> 00:04:24,526 featuring the vocal power of Bette Midler. 124 00:04:24,551 --> 00:04:26,884 It would make my mom say yes to anything. 125 00:04:26,909 --> 00:04:31,979 I can fly higher than an eagle 126 00:04:33,962 --> 00:04:39,876 'Cause you are the wind beneath my wings 127 00:04:41,459 --> 00:04:44,493 Unfortunately, my sister had the exact same plan. 128 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,657 This is pandering garbage! You can't do this. 129 00:04:46,682 --> 00:04:47,204 Why not? 130 00:04:47,229 --> 00:04:49,618 Because I'm working on my own pandering garbage 131 00:04:49,643 --> 00:04:52,444 so that Mom will let me go to college 5,000 miles away. 132 00:04:52,469 --> 00:04:53,735 Emory is in Georgia. 133 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,493 That's why I need to ask her on Mother's Day, 134 00:04:55,518 --> 00:04:57,185 when she's all buttered up and distracted. 135 00:04:57,198 --> 00:04:59,032 But we can't both lower Mom's defenses 136 00:04:59,057 --> 00:05:01,224 with an insincere, theatrical show of our love. 137 00:05:01,249 --> 00:05:03,267 Well, you're just gonna have to back down. 138 00:05:03,292 --> 00:05:05,923 Your dumb thing is way less important than college. 139 00:05:05,948 --> 00:05:07,114 But when will I have the chance 140 00:05:07,139 --> 00:05:09,039 to rub cocoa butter on my lady's shoulders again? 141 00:05:09,064 --> 00:05:11,017 Honestly, I can't imagine you ever will. 142 00:05:11,042 --> 00:05:13,376 But still, this is my whole future. 143 00:05:13,401 --> 00:05:15,134 Okay, fine. I'll back down. 144 00:05:15,159 --> 00:05:16,525 But only 'cause you're my sister 145 00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,821 and I love you, so I'll let you have this one. 146 00:05:18,846 --> 00:05:20,079 And you lose, sucker! 147 00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:22,037 Adam, stop! You stop! 148 00:05:22,062 --> 00:05:22,928 Stop! 149 00:05:23,679 --> 00:05:25,029 Okay, everyone, 150 00:05:25,137 --> 00:05:28,705 welcome to "The Day After" emergency assembly. 151 00:05:28,846 --> 00:05:30,967 First of all, I just want to assure you 152 00:05:30,992 --> 00:05:32,435 that everything is gonna be okay. 153 00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:34,093 It will not be okay! 154 00:05:34,118 --> 00:05:35,748 There's nowhere to hide in a nuclear winter! 155 00:05:35,773 --> 00:05:36,367 Whoa. (Chuckles) 156 00:05:36,392 --> 00:05:37,391 What Coach means is 157 00:05:37,416 --> 00:05:38,882 that there could be a nuclear winter, 158 00:05:38,907 --> 00:05:40,356 but it definitely won't happen. 159 00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:41,139 Till it does. 160 00:05:41,164 --> 00:05:43,268 Does not, because it was just a movie. 161 00:05:43,293 --> 00:05:44,692 That will, for sure, come true. 162 00:05:44,717 --> 00:05:46,279 Look, I know a lot of you are scared 163 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:48,554 that the President is gonna snap, push a button, 164 00:05:48,579 --> 00:05:50,124 and incinerate us all, 165 00:05:50,149 --> 00:05:51,914 but I assure you, it will not happen. 166 00:05:51,939 --> 00:05:54,573 When it does, I'll be safe and snug 167 00:05:54,598 --> 00:05:56,030 in my fallout shelter 168 00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:59,564 while the rest of you mutants scrounge for cockroaches. 169 00:06:00,378 --> 00:06:01,946 What, you got no argument for that one? 170 00:06:01,971 --> 00:06:02,665 No, you're right. 171 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,624 That movie has shaken me to my core. 172 00:06:04,649 --> 00:06:05,805 I have so many regrets. 173 00:06:05,830 --> 00:06:07,673 You got about a week to fix 'em, Andre. 174 00:06:07,698 --> 00:06:09,476 Well, let's start with that one right there. 175 00:06:09,501 --> 00:06:11,134 My name is not Andre. 176 00:06:11,159 --> 00:06:13,024 I only said it was in college 177 00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:15,189 to make myself seem more interesting to the ladies. 178 00:06:15,214 --> 00:06:17,587 - Let it out! - My name is Jonathan! 179 00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:20,087 And I love you, Lunch Lady Bernice! 180 00:06:20,112 --> 00:06:21,439 Are you out there? 181 00:06:23,282 --> 00:06:25,447 You're probably mashing potatoes. 182 00:06:26,134 --> 00:06:26,759 Oh, boy. 183 00:06:26,784 --> 00:06:28,918 Okay, this day is a wash. 184 00:06:29,362 --> 00:06:31,423 Everybody go home and hug your loved ones. 185 00:06:33,221 --> 00:06:34,754 I know I should be happy to have the day off, 186 00:06:34,779 --> 00:06:36,532 but I'm, like, genuinely terrified. 187 00:06:36,557 --> 00:06:38,557 Me too. I feel so helpless. 188 00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:40,239 I never even got to party in Daytona. 189 00:06:40,264 --> 00:06:42,664 While Barry was desperate to survive nuclear war, 190 00:06:42,689 --> 00:06:44,423 I was using Mother's Day as a weapon 191 00:06:44,448 --> 00:06:45,514 to get what I wanted. 192 00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:48,689 Oh! (Sobbing) 193 00:06:48,811 --> 00:06:50,510 Did you like my movie, Mama? 194 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:53,204 I loved it so much, I wanna crush your little face! 195 00:06:53,229 --> 00:06:54,696 Apropos of nothing... 196 00:06:54,754 --> 00:06:56,774 Can I ask you a totally random question? 197 00:06:56,799 --> 00:06:58,259 Anything, sweetie. 198 00:06:58,284 --> 00:07:00,485 Well, I have a really big favor to... 199 00:07:00,510 --> 00:07:01,543 Mom! (Laughing) 200 00:07:01,568 --> 00:07:03,034 I got into Emory, and I wanna go to Emory, 201 00:07:03,059 --> 00:07:05,032 so I need a check for Emory so I can go to Emory. 202 00:07:05,057 --> 00:07:06,890 And Happy Mother's Day. I love you, snuggle, snuggle! 203 00:07:06,915 --> 00:07:08,525 Aah! Oh, yes! 204 00:07:08,550 --> 00:07:10,165 My baby's going to college! 205 00:07:10,190 --> 00:07:13,191 What?! No! No, no, no, no. 206 00:07:13,216 --> 00:07:14,821 Adam, be happy for your sister. 207 00:07:14,846 --> 00:07:16,618 - This is a huge day. - No, no, no, no, no! 208 00:07:16,643 --> 00:07:18,676 Don't make it about me. It's your day, Mommy. 209 00:07:18,701 --> 00:07:20,806 No! No, no, no, no, no, no! 210 00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:22,898 Emory may be a thousand miles away, 211 00:07:22,923 --> 00:07:26,725 but with the love of my children and 20 flights a year, 212 00:07:27,128 --> 00:07:28,628 we will manage. 213 00:07:29,035 --> 00:07:31,196 I'm gonna get my pilot's license. 214 00:07:31,221 --> 00:07:31,774 Boop! (Laughs) 215 00:07:31,936 --> 00:07:34,336 Um, Mama, know what else is exciting? 216 00:07:34,361 --> 00:07:36,695 Jackie invited me down the shore next weekend. 217 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:37,610 Oh, no, no. 218 00:07:37,635 --> 00:07:39,154 Your sister is going away to college. 219 00:07:39,179 --> 00:07:41,353 That's enough excitement for one Mother's Day. 220 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,720 But I made up a whole tap routine 221 00:07:43,745 --> 00:07:46,112 celebrating my love for you on this special day. 222 00:07:49,230 --> 00:07:50,067 Yeah! 223 00:07:50,365 --> 00:07:53,293 You love your little baby boopie tapping his piggy wiggies. 224 00:07:53,318 --> 00:07:54,617 Adappa-dappa-doo 225 00:07:54,967 --> 00:07:56,834 Adappa dappa da dappa 226 00:07:57,725 --> 00:07:58,535 (Laughs) Thank you, Mama. 227 00:07:58,560 --> 00:07:59,270 (Chuckling) Oh, yeah. 228 00:07:59,295 --> 00:08:00,739 Happy Mother's Day. 229 00:08:00,764 --> 00:08:02,264 You will pay dearly for this. 230 00:08:02,553 --> 00:08:05,587 Emory, Emory (Chuckles) 231 00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:08,637 While everyone was afraid 232 00:08:08,662 --> 00:08:10,030 our president would lead us to war, 233 00:08:10,055 --> 00:08:13,090 my big bro would lead his loved ones to safety. 234 00:08:13,145 --> 00:08:15,628 - Fellow members of the JTP... - JTP! 235 00:08:15,653 --> 00:08:16,807 - ...and the love of my life, Lainey... - Lainey! 236 00:08:16,832 --> 00:08:18,323 - Don't do that. - Sorry! 237 00:08:18,348 --> 00:08:20,860 I know you're all worried about a nuclear apocalypse 238 00:08:20,885 --> 00:08:22,795 after seeing that scary movie on TV, 239 00:08:22,820 --> 00:08:24,753 but I want you to know everything will be okay. 240 00:08:25,408 --> 00:08:26,966 I call it Barry's Bunker. 241 00:08:27,184 --> 00:08:29,001 Sadly, there's limited room in the bunker, 242 00:08:29,026 --> 00:08:30,893 so some of you will be left outside to melt 243 00:08:30,918 --> 00:08:32,815 or be eaten by post-apocalyptic zombies. 244 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:33,996 So, who goes and who stays? 245 00:08:34,021 --> 00:08:36,976 Obviously, you're in, 'cause you're my foxy lady, 246 00:08:37,001 --> 00:08:39,201 but the rest of you much prove your worth. 247 00:08:39,270 --> 00:08:40,817 Geoff Schwartz, what skills do you have? 248 00:08:40,842 --> 00:08:42,007 I know which berries are poisonous, 249 00:08:42,032 --> 00:08:43,301 'cause I once ate some bad ones. 250 00:08:43,326 --> 00:08:45,551 Super useful. Next, Naked Rob. 251 00:08:45,576 --> 00:08:48,344 What skills do you have? And don't say "being naked." 252 00:08:49,082 --> 00:08:49,801 Come back to me. 253 00:08:49,826 --> 00:08:52,860 Andy, clearly you're in, 'cause you have tiny little fingers 254 00:08:52,885 --> 00:08:54,324 that are perfect for shelling nuts. 255 00:08:54,349 --> 00:08:55,699 Plus, you can sleep in a drawer. 256 00:08:55,724 --> 00:08:58,528 Very insulted, but it's more important to live. 257 00:08:58,553 --> 00:09:00,528 Matt Bradley, looks like you're in serious trouble here. 258 00:09:00,553 --> 00:09:02,199 I was an Eagle Scout and a lifeguard, 259 00:09:02,224 --> 00:09:03,357 and I learned how to frame a house 260 00:09:03,382 --> 00:09:04,887 when I did Habitat for Humanity. 261 00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:06,511 Fine, I guess you could cook or something. 262 00:09:06,536 --> 00:09:08,762 Well! I'm glad you're all here, 263 00:09:08,787 --> 00:09:11,488 'cause I have something very important to tell you. 264 00:09:11,513 --> 00:09:12,942 - Get out! - Don't worry, guys. 265 00:09:12,967 --> 00:09:14,634 We won't have to deal with this joker 266 00:09:14,659 --> 00:09:16,703 when we're in our titanium-reinforced bunker. 267 00:09:16,728 --> 00:09:18,561 You do know I raised myself since I was six, 268 00:09:18,586 --> 00:09:21,387 so if there's an end-of-the-world situation, 269 00:09:21,412 --> 00:09:23,309 you'd want me there real bad. 270 00:09:23,334 --> 00:09:25,601 Yelling at a sandwich for having too much mustard on it 271 00:09:25,626 --> 00:09:26,625 is not a skill. 272 00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:27,989 Well, I can repair a radio, 273 00:09:28,014 --> 00:09:29,762 rebuild an engine, swing a hammer, 274 00:09:29,787 --> 00:09:32,231 catch a fish, start a fire with small sticks. 275 00:09:32,256 --> 00:09:32,793 What can you do? 276 00:09:32,818 --> 00:09:34,270 I can basically do anything. 277 00:09:34,295 --> 00:09:35,995 I can break-dance, 278 00:09:36,794 --> 00:09:38,387 kick a light switch on and off, 279 00:09:39,225 --> 00:09:40,942 use a hockey stick as an old-timey cane. 280 00:09:40,967 --> 00:09:42,500 Sweetie, those aren't really survival skills 281 00:09:42,525 --> 00:09:44,809 as much as they are adorable things I love about you. 282 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,634 Whatever. I'm your leader. 283 00:09:46,659 --> 00:09:47,356 That's my skill. 284 00:09:47,381 --> 00:09:49,301 It kind of seems like your dad's our leader, 285 00:09:49,326 --> 00:09:50,759 'cause he's the oldest and wisest 286 00:09:50,784 --> 00:09:52,176 and actually knows how to survive. 287 00:09:52,201 --> 00:09:53,700 It's settled. Your dad will keep us safe 288 00:09:53,725 --> 00:09:54,864 when the mutant zombies attack. 289 00:09:54,857 --> 00:09:55,762 - Okay. - Fine! 290 00:09:55,787 --> 00:09:58,176 I don't need you or food or water. 291 00:09:58,201 --> 00:10:00,684 I can sustain my life on my own awesomeness. 292 00:10:00,786 --> 00:10:02,317 As Barry stormed off in a fury, 293 00:10:02,342 --> 00:10:04,942 I'd strike back at Erica for stealing my thunder. 294 00:10:04,967 --> 00:10:06,800 Armed with my high-tech VHS editing gear, 295 00:10:06,825 --> 00:10:08,291 I'd manipulate my mom 296 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,903 with an even-more-epic Mother's Day video. 297 00:10:11,093 --> 00:10:12,826 Whatcha up to, schmoopa-lumpa? 298 00:10:12,851 --> 00:10:13,950 Oh, I'm just finishing up 299 00:10:13,975 --> 00:10:15,583 a little goodbye video for Erica. 300 00:10:15,608 --> 00:10:16,168 Aww. 301 00:10:16,193 --> 00:10:17,551 It's a little early for goodbyes, 302 00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:19,231 - wouldn't you say? - Well, before you know it, 303 00:10:19,256 --> 00:10:21,317 she'll be gone to college and only coming home on holidays. 304 00:10:21,342 --> 00:10:23,042 - I guess that's true. - And then, junior year, 305 00:10:23,067 --> 00:10:24,767 she'll fall for a handsome Southern fella 306 00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:26,091 and get married, 307 00:10:26,116 --> 00:10:27,637 and then she'll see his family for the holidays. 308 00:10:27,662 --> 00:10:28,994 But then I won't see her at all. 309 00:10:29,019 --> 00:10:30,918 Well, she'll come home occasionally 310 00:10:30,943 --> 00:10:31,989 until she has kids 311 00:10:32,014 --> 00:10:33,781 and then travel gets too hard with the twins. 312 00:10:33,806 --> 00:10:35,840 Well, the twins are as much mine as they are hers. 313 00:10:35,865 --> 00:10:38,198 - She's gotta visit! - She has no time. 314 00:10:38,223 --> 00:10:39,422 The twins are in school, 315 00:10:39,447 --> 00:10:41,514 and Erica got a job working the front office there 316 00:10:41,539 --> 00:10:42,849 and it's way too consuming. 317 00:10:43,606 --> 00:10:45,443 Anyhow, let's watch that movie. 318 00:10:45,671 --> 00:10:46,937 (Bette Midler's "Wind Beneath my Wings" plays) Lucky for me, 319 00:10:46,962 --> 00:10:48,161 - I was able to use - _ 320 00:10:48,186 --> 00:10:49,795 the cheesiest effects the 80's had to offer. 321 00:10:49,820 --> 00:10:52,126 Stop it! I'm trying to eat my Count Chocula! (Twinkle!) 322 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:54,670 And I showed my mom a world without Erica. 323 00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:57,078 What did I tell you?! Stop filming me... 324 00:10:57,103 --> 00:10:58,536 You're everything I would like to be 325 00:10:59,279 --> 00:11:01,421 I'm taking a Spanish quiz! I will kill you! 326 00:11:01,485 --> 00:11:03,820 I can fly higher than an eagle 327 00:11:03,845 --> 00:11:05,765 Okay, I don't know what this is, but you better stop... 328 00:11:06,893 --> 00:11:09,562 I can't wait to leave this house and never come back! 329 00:11:09,587 --> 00:11:10,953 Get out! (Twinkle!) 330 00:11:12,990 --> 00:11:15,359 - For wind beneath my wings - _ 331 00:11:16,716 --> 00:11:19,789 (Crying) Oh, my God! What have I done? 332 00:11:20,595 --> 00:11:21,828 (Sniffles) I told my baby girl 333 00:11:21,853 --> 00:11:23,753 she could move away from the family, 334 00:11:23,778 --> 00:11:26,512 and now I'll never see her or the twins 335 00:11:26,537 --> 00:11:29,672 because of that damn desk job at the school. 336 00:11:29,697 --> 00:11:31,363 Are you just giving up? 337 00:11:31,460 --> 00:11:33,627 That's not the Beverly Goldberg I know. 338 00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:36,320 Oh, my God, you're so right. 339 00:11:36,603 --> 00:11:38,796 I gotta get back that envelope she put in the mail! 340 00:11:38,821 --> 00:11:40,520 Also, can I go to the beach with Jackie this weekend? 341 00:11:40,590 --> 00:11:43,925 Yes, fine, do whatever! I gotta get my baby back! 342 00:11:46,848 --> 00:11:48,547 Poo! Who designed these things? 343 00:11:48,572 --> 00:11:49,917 They're impossible to get into. 344 00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:51,408 Uh, ma'am? Can I help you? 345 00:11:51,433 --> 00:11:53,866 Yes. I accidentally dropped something in here, 346 00:11:53,891 --> 00:11:55,609 and I desperately need to get it back. 347 00:11:55,634 --> 00:11:57,815 (Laughing) Oh, yeah. Was it your keys? 348 00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:59,206 You'd be surprised how many people -- 349 00:11:59,231 --> 00:12:01,714 Actually, it's that letter right there from Erica Goldberg. 350 00:12:01,739 --> 00:12:03,514 She's my little baby girl. (Chuckles) 351 00:12:03,539 --> 00:12:06,212 Do you have any I.D.? We can't just give out mail. 352 00:12:06,237 --> 00:12:07,337 It's a federal offense and all. 353 00:12:07,362 --> 00:12:09,432 Obviously, I knew that, 354 00:12:09,457 --> 00:12:11,357 which is why I'm just gonna... Bloop! 355 00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:13,487 Hey! I know where you live! 356 00:12:13,512 --> 00:12:14,589 I don't give a fuck. 357 00:12:14,614 --> 00:12:16,247 Adult Adam: As my mom was running away from a felony, 358 00:12:16,272 --> 00:12:18,487 Barry ran to the smartest man he knew. 359 00:12:18,512 --> 00:12:20,276 Pops! We need to talk. 360 00:12:20,301 --> 00:12:22,701 As you can see, I've been hard at work on the chalkboard. 361 00:12:22,726 --> 00:12:23,925 Okay, why are people 362 00:12:23,950 --> 00:12:26,284 always dragging chalkboards around this house? 363 00:12:26,309 --> 00:12:27,315 Doesn't matter! 364 00:12:27,340 --> 00:12:30,206 There has been a great betrayal, and I find myself bunkerless. 365 00:12:30,231 --> 00:12:31,596 Just get to the chalkboard. 366 00:12:31,621 --> 00:12:34,455 I've created a list of my greatest assets. 367 00:12:34,618 --> 00:12:35,950 Do you think they'll help me survive 368 00:12:35,975 --> 00:12:38,674 when this world turns into a radiated, barren wasteland? 369 00:12:38,699 --> 00:12:41,307 Is this about that terrifying "Day After" movie? 370 00:12:41,332 --> 00:12:42,932 Woof, that gave me the willies. 371 00:12:42,957 --> 00:12:44,290 No! You're supposed to be 372 00:12:44,315 --> 00:12:46,082 my wise and reassuring grandfather 373 00:12:46,107 --> 00:12:47,471 that tells me everything's gonna be okay. 374 00:12:47,496 --> 00:12:50,432 I'd like to, Bar, but look at this list. 375 00:12:50,457 --> 00:12:52,659 You don't have a single useful skill, 376 00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:53,995 and I'm old! 377 00:12:54,045 --> 00:12:56,151 We'll be the first to go when the end comes. 378 00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,309 - That's not comforting. - Tell me about it. 379 00:12:58,334 --> 00:12:59,433 What are we gonna do? 380 00:12:59,458 --> 00:13:01,393 I got kicked out of Dad's pretend bunker, 381 00:13:01,449 --> 00:13:03,792 - which I pretended first. - That's it. 382 00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,885 We'll build our own bunker in the basement. 383 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,042 Dad will never allow that. 384 00:13:07,067 --> 00:13:08,777 Then, you just gotta convince him. 385 00:13:08,802 --> 00:13:10,729 - To the chalkboard! - To the chalkboard! 386 00:13:10,754 --> 00:13:12,621 - Oh, it's here. - There it is. 387 00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:15,776 Emory is gonna be so awesome. 388 00:13:15,801 --> 00:13:16,979 Check out the brochure. 389 00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:18,437 They have an incredible music program, 390 00:13:18,462 --> 00:13:21,096 and a brand-new recording studio that's open to undergrads. 391 00:13:21,121 --> 00:13:24,022 Or, funner idea, you stick around here 392 00:13:24,047 --> 00:13:27,048 and attend the local junior college/welding academy. 393 00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:27,846 (Laughing) Oh! 394 00:13:27,871 --> 00:13:29,948 Aww, that's sweet. You're gonna miss me. 395 00:13:30,062 --> 00:13:31,962 But too bad the check's in the mail 396 00:13:31,987 --> 00:13:32,987 and that ship has sailed. 397 00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:35,698 Here's the thing about that check. 398 00:13:36,504 --> 00:13:38,839 What is my college deposit doing back in this house?! 399 00:13:38,864 --> 00:13:40,431 It's a funny story, really. 400 00:13:40,456 --> 00:13:41,688 There is zero chance 401 00:13:41,713 --> 00:13:44,128 that this story will amuse and delight me, zero! 402 00:13:44,153 --> 00:13:46,839 Well... (chuckles) It was in the mail. 403 00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:50,260 but I thought (clicks tongue)... "I don't want it in the mail." 404 00:13:50,285 --> 00:13:52,643 So I took it out of the mail. 405 00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:56,413 Why?! Why?! 406 00:13:56,438 --> 00:13:59,305 A certain unnamed schmoopie showed me a video 407 00:13:59,330 --> 00:14:01,530 and made me realize that going to Georgia 408 00:14:01,555 --> 00:14:04,307 is a bad decision for us. 409 00:14:05,155 --> 00:14:05,440 Me. 410 00:14:05,465 --> 00:14:06,424 But wait. 411 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,567 I wrote a Mother's Day song that celebrates my love for you. 412 00:14:08,592 --> 00:14:11,260 Just, please, listen. Um... (Piano plays) 413 00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:12,952 For she's a jolly good mother 414 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,810 For she's a jolly good mother 415 00:14:14,835 --> 00:14:17,604 For she's a jolly good mother 416 00:14:17,996 --> 00:14:19,651 Please let me go to college far away 417 00:14:19,668 --> 00:14:20,393 No. 418 00:14:20,433 --> 00:14:22,174 - That no mother can... - Denied. 419 00:14:22,199 --> 00:14:23,864 (Strikes counter) Damn it! 420 00:14:25,439 --> 00:14:27,539 Bust out that zinc, 'cause your man 421 00:14:27,564 --> 00:14:29,174 is going to the shore with you next weekend. 422 00:14:29,199 --> 00:14:30,398 That's amazing! 423 00:14:30,835 --> 00:14:32,128 You ruined my life! 424 00:14:32,170 --> 00:14:33,831 Erica, how are things, dear sister? 425 00:14:33,856 --> 00:14:34,628 What's going on? 426 00:14:34,653 --> 00:14:35,956 Well, your little beach bud made it 427 00:14:35,981 --> 00:14:38,140 so that I can't go to the college of my dreams 428 00:14:38,165 --> 00:14:40,454 just so he can suck face with you in the sand. 429 00:14:40,479 --> 00:14:41,485 Her words! 430 00:14:41,510 --> 00:14:42,567 But I wouldn't be opposed to it. 431 00:14:42,592 --> 00:14:45,293 I hope it was worth it, because you just lost a sister. 432 00:14:47,407 --> 00:14:49,306 - My Teddy Grahams! - What was that? 433 00:14:49,331 --> 00:14:50,830 They're little graham-cracker cookies 434 00:14:50,855 --> 00:14:51,821 shaped like teddy bears. 435 00:14:51,846 --> 00:14:53,371 No, I know what Teddy Grahams are, Adam. 436 00:14:53,384 --> 00:14:54,387 I meant with your sister. 437 00:14:54,412 --> 00:14:56,612 I kinda made a video that ruined college for her 438 00:14:56,637 --> 00:14:58,090 so we could hit the beach. 439 00:14:58,222 --> 00:14:59,888 Anyway, does it get cold at night? 440 00:14:59,913 --> 00:15:02,145 - Should I bring a jacket? - Um, that's horrible. 441 00:15:02,170 --> 00:15:03,436 Yeah, it doesn't sound that great 442 00:15:03,461 --> 00:15:04,427 when I hear it out loud. 443 00:15:04,452 --> 00:15:06,385 Maybe a windbreaker, 'cause the ocean breeze. 444 00:15:06,410 --> 00:15:07,676 I actually think it's best 445 00:15:07,701 --> 00:15:09,121 that I do my own thing for a while. 446 00:15:14,046 --> 00:15:16,355 After his talk with Pops, Barry was determined 447 00:15:16,380 --> 00:15:19,043 to brilliantly trick my dad into building a bunker. 448 00:15:19,068 --> 00:15:20,145 Hey! What the hell? 449 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:21,840 Sorry, had a hard day. 450 00:15:21,865 --> 00:15:23,565 Thought I'd catch up on some world events 451 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:24,918 by listening to the radio. 452 00:15:25,107 --> 00:15:27,975 (Barry's Voice) Beeeeeeeeep! This is not a test 453 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,731 of the Emergency Broadcast System. 454 00:15:29,756 --> 00:15:32,790 Oh, no, this is real and completely serious, 455 00:15:32,815 --> 00:15:34,410 'cause the newscaster said so! 456 00:15:34,435 --> 00:15:36,502 We have confirmation from President Reagan 457 00:15:36,527 --> 00:15:38,860 that Russia has launched a bunch of nukes at Jenkintown, 458 00:15:38,885 --> 00:15:40,582 just like in that movie we all saw. 459 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,407 It's happening right now as we speak, 460 00:15:42,432 --> 00:15:43,631 live, here in the '80s. 461 00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:46,903 I know, Dad. This is a very scary moment. 462 00:15:46,928 --> 00:15:49,614 It's so real, I don't know what to do. 463 00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:53,973 Ha! I only made that incredibly authentic newscast 464 00:15:53,998 --> 00:15:56,699 to scare you into seeing the truth. 465 00:15:56,724 --> 00:15:59,301 I told you you're not building a dopey bunker in the basement. 466 00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:00,925 Thank you for keeping an open mind. 467 00:16:00,950 --> 00:16:03,217 I will also need money for the following items. 468 00:16:03,242 --> 00:16:06,442 "700 pounds of poured concrete, lifetime supply of potatoes, 469 00:16:06,467 --> 00:16:08,734 seven bottles of ketchup for the potatoes..." 470 00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,606 There's one in the fridge. Just take that and go. 471 00:16:10,631 --> 00:16:12,134 There's more. We need, "a chicken, 472 00:16:12,212 --> 00:16:14,980 a cage for the chicken, medicine for the chicken, 473 00:16:15,005 --> 00:16:16,720 a chicken exercise-wheel, 474 00:16:16,745 --> 00:16:19,012 a lady chicken to keep the other chicken company." 475 00:16:19,037 --> 00:16:22,048 Please stop asking me to build a life for this chicken! 476 00:16:22,073 --> 00:16:24,173 - Did he say yes to the bunker? - I said no! 477 00:16:24,198 --> 00:16:25,497 Did you tell him about the chicken? 478 00:16:25,522 --> 00:16:26,954 I don't wanna hear about the chicken! 479 00:16:26,979 --> 00:16:28,837 The chicken's the whole thing! 480 00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:30,035 He doesn't care about the chicken! 481 00:16:30,060 --> 00:16:31,910 Murray, just buy the boy a chicken. 482 00:16:31,935 --> 00:16:34,746 No chicken! It's just a movie, Barry. 483 00:16:34,771 --> 00:16:37,705 Look me in the eye and tell me for sure... 484 00:16:37,829 --> 00:16:40,930 For absolute sure... that this will never happen. 485 00:16:44,765 --> 00:16:46,004 That's what I thought. 486 00:16:46,057 --> 00:16:49,692 With that, my dad realized how truly terrified Barry felt. 487 00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:52,231 Meanwhile, I figured it was time to make things right. 488 00:16:52,256 --> 00:16:54,410 Come on, Mom, right this way. 489 00:16:55,855 --> 00:16:57,731 Wait, there's no cuddle fort down here. 490 00:16:57,756 --> 00:17:00,664 Yeah, I lied. Erica, he's here! 491 00:17:00,689 --> 00:17:02,310 So, where's this cute mailman? 492 00:17:02,335 --> 00:17:04,235 Hey! I lied about that, too. 493 00:17:04,366 --> 00:17:05,982 We all need to sit down and talk. 494 00:17:06,007 --> 00:17:08,699 If this is another adorable video to con me, 495 00:17:08,724 --> 00:17:09,589 it's not gonna work. 496 00:17:09,614 --> 00:17:11,514 Actually, this one's for both of you. 497 00:17:13,182 --> 00:17:15,814 Turns out, that third and final Mother's Day gift 498 00:17:15,839 --> 00:17:17,642 would end up being the most important gift 499 00:17:17,667 --> 00:17:19,189 I'd ever give in my whole life. 500 00:17:19,292 --> 00:17:21,823 Whoo! Good job! 501 00:17:21,924 --> 00:17:24,987 Wow. Look at me, I was so young. 502 00:17:25,026 --> 00:17:26,307 Not anymore. 503 00:17:27,659 --> 00:17:28,743 My video reminded them both 504 00:17:28,768 --> 00:17:32,134 that even though the years fly and we never stop growing, 505 00:17:32,368 --> 00:17:37,187 there are some things that will never, ever change. 506 00:17:37,212 --> 00:17:38,210 It must have been cold there in my shadow 507 00:17:38,235 --> 00:17:39,149 You grew up so fast. 508 00:17:39,174 --> 00:17:41,954 Yeah, but I'll always be your little girl. 509 00:17:42,014 --> 00:17:45,716 I know, and I'll always be your mama, 510 00:17:45,818 --> 00:17:47,157 no matter where you are, 511 00:17:47,182 --> 00:17:49,597 even if it's... Georgia. 512 00:17:50,251 --> 00:17:51,032 Georgia? 513 00:17:51,057 --> 00:17:52,456 - You mean... - It's like I say... 514 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:56,139 With the love of my children and 50 flights a year, 515 00:17:56,595 --> 00:17:57,204 we'll manage. 516 00:17:57,229 --> 00:17:59,296 - You said 20 flights. - We'll figure it out. 517 00:17:59,321 --> 00:18:01,154 You always walked a step behind 518 00:18:01,312 --> 00:18:04,213 In the end, my mom got her perfect Mother's Day. 519 00:18:04,422 --> 00:18:06,022 Not because she held us close, 520 00:18:06,047 --> 00:18:08,547 but because she learned to let go. 521 00:18:09,023 --> 00:18:10,923 As for my dad, he finally realized 522 00:18:10,948 --> 00:18:12,649 just what Barry needed to hear. 523 00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:15,675 Listen, I was thinking about what you said. 524 00:18:16,004 --> 00:18:18,173 And the truth is, I'm scared, too. 525 00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:20,087 - You are? - I'm terrified! 526 00:18:20,481 --> 00:18:22,142 All I wanna do is protect my family, 527 00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:23,833 and the thought that I might not be able to do it, 528 00:18:23,858 --> 00:18:25,658 that keeps me up at night. 529 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:29,267 - So, what do we do? - Nothing. 530 00:18:29,326 --> 00:18:31,059 You just gotta live the life you got 531 00:18:31,084 --> 00:18:32,915 and keep the ones you love close. 532 00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:35,212 Did you ever know that you're my hero? 533 00:18:37,210 --> 00:18:39,043 I'm still scared, Dad. 534 00:18:39,544 --> 00:18:40,353 I know. 535 00:18:40,378 --> 00:18:43,045 The world can be a scary, unpredictable place. 536 00:18:43,275 --> 00:18:45,384 But if we can be there for each other, 537 00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:47,884 that's when life can truly surprise us. 538 00:18:47,909 --> 00:18:50,610 President Reagan has been left "greatly depressed" 539 00:18:50,635 --> 00:18:52,103 after watching "The Day After" 540 00:18:52,128 --> 00:18:53,767 and has decided to change his policy 541 00:18:53,792 --> 00:18:55,235 on nuclear proliferation. 542 00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:56,659 As crazy as it seems, 543 00:18:56,684 --> 00:18:59,084 a single TV movie would end up saving the planet. 544 00:18:59,241 --> 00:19:01,742 And a little video I made in my room... 545 00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:02,759 Mama! (Laughs) 546 00:19:02,784 --> 00:19:05,610 ...would forever change my sister's life. 547 00:19:05,982 --> 00:19:08,728 And in return, she ended up saving mine. 548 00:19:09,634 --> 00:19:10,642 Hey. 549 00:19:10,667 --> 00:19:12,000 I talked to your sister, and she said 550 00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:13,624 that you aren't a total piece of crap 551 00:19:13,649 --> 00:19:15,249 and that you actually saved her life. 552 00:19:15,268 --> 00:19:16,834 That's actually pretty high praise 553 00:19:16,859 --> 00:19:18,792 coming from her, but it doesn't change the fact 554 00:19:18,817 --> 00:19:20,250 I was a total... 555 00:19:20,275 --> 00:19:22,909 - I want you to know I know the truth - Wow. 556 00:19:23,191 --> 00:19:24,431 Uh, thanks. 557 00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:27,264 My compliments to the chef. 558 00:19:27,452 --> 00:19:29,619 Next time, maybe just don't say anything. 559 00:19:29,876 --> 00:19:30,821 Got it. 560 00:19:31,085 --> 00:19:32,767 In the end, I never got 561 00:19:32,792 --> 00:19:34,134 my beach adventure with my girlfriend. 562 00:19:34,159 --> 00:19:36,326 But it didn't matter, 'cause I helped my sister 563 00:19:36,351 --> 00:19:38,770 begin the adventure of a lifetime. 564 00:19:39,236 --> 00:19:40,528 Thank you, Mommy. 565 00:19:40,553 --> 00:19:43,053 Sure, none of us knew what the future would hold, 566 00:19:43,078 --> 00:19:46,207 but that's what makes the journey so exciting. 567 00:19:49,642 --> 00:19:52,076 - Oh, and I - _ 568 00:19:57,617 --> 00:20:02,641 You are the wind beneath my wings 569 00:20:04,410 --> 00:20:05,442 Thought you might enjoy 570 00:20:05,467 --> 00:20:07,345 some great tunes as you prepare our dinner. 571 00:20:07,370 --> 00:20:08,907 (Barry's voice) Beeep. We interrupt dinner 572 00:20:08,932 --> 00:20:11,426 for the Emergency Broadcast System. 573 00:20:11,451 --> 00:20:13,919 Oh, no! This sounds serious and real! 574 00:20:13,944 --> 00:20:15,677 We have confirmation from the White House 575 00:20:15,702 --> 00:20:18,034 that radioactive zombies have attacked Jenkintown. 576 00:20:18,059 --> 00:20:20,326 The military guys say the only way to outrun them 577 00:20:20,351 --> 00:20:23,314 is with a pair of brand-new, expensive Air Jordan sneakers. 578 00:20:23,339 --> 00:20:25,806 I don't own those! I'll be the first to go! 579 00:20:25,831 --> 00:20:28,267 - What should we do? - If the world's gonna end, 580 00:20:28,475 --> 00:20:30,861 I'm gonna snuggle my baby till the zombies arrive. 581 00:20:30,886 --> 00:20:32,573 Stop! I'll just wear my Reeboks. 582 00:20:44,150 --> 00:20:48,700 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 47386

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