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00:00:06,162 --> 00:00:09,700
VERNON (V.O.) For the record, I'm
normally a really good driver.
2
00:00:12,768 --> 00:00:15,736
But when you're doing
90 in a stolen bread truck...
3
00:00:15,738 --> 00:00:17,372
while pouring a Jack and Coke..
4
00:00:17,374 --> 00:00:21,009
For one of your female companions...
5
00:00:21,011 --> 00:00:24,413
well, hell, a truck that
size can get just a bit top-heavy.
6
00:00:24,415 --> 00:00:27,748
But luckily, the good
Lord gave me a sign...
7
00:00:27,750 --> 00:00:29,716
and when I plowed straight through it...
8
00:00:29,718 --> 00:00:33,189
it slowed us down just
enough to keep us out of the creek.
9
00:00:34,424 --> 00:00:36,291
Well, most of us that is.
10
00:00:36,293 --> 00:00:39,863
Now hang on, I wasn't
always just a joy-riding drunk.
11
00:00:41,131 --> 00:00:42,897
See, about 20 years ago...
12
00:00:42,899 --> 00:00:45,601
I was damn near the
biggest thing in country music.
13
00:00:45,603 --> 00:00:48,437
Burnin' Vernon, yeah, that's
what they called me...
14
00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:51,406
on account of my
record burnin' up the charts.
15
00:00:51,408 --> 00:00:52,907
Those were the days, man.
16
00:00:52,909 --> 00:00:57,980
The women, the
parties, the party favors.
17
00:00:57,982 --> 00:01:00,415
Some people don't take to fame.
18
00:01:00,417 --> 00:01:02,820
Me, I was made for it.
19
00:01:04,486 --> 00:01:06,853
Now, getting busted
in some cheap motel...
20
00:01:06,855 --> 00:01:08,755
with every substance known to man...
21
00:01:08,757 --> 00:01:11,729
should only help the
career of a young musician.
22
00:01:13,129 --> 00:01:16,264
But there was a little
more to it than that.
23
00:01:16,266 --> 00:01:18,239
Daddy's girl
24
00:01:18,377 --> 00:01:20,620
You got me got me got me now
25
00:01:20,770 --> 00:01:23,486
Daddy's girl
26
00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:27,444
Come on come on come on come on
27
00:01:30,313 --> 00:01:31,612
VERNON (V.O.) That son of a bitch...
28
00:01:31,614 --> 00:01:34,549
burned my record right then and there.
29
00:01:34,551 --> 00:01:36,418
Yeah, and once word got out...
30
00:01:36,420 --> 00:01:39,757
Burnin' Vernon took
on a whole new meaning.
31
00:01:40,991 --> 00:01:45,195
And my career... went up in flames.
32
00:01:48,498 --> 00:01:50,264
But don't worry...
33
00:01:50,266 --> 00:01:52,567
oh, I'm still the king.
34
00:01:52,569 --> 00:01:54,870
Oh, yeah, been touring the country.
35
00:01:54,872 --> 00:01:57,505
I don't like to brag
about it all that much...
36
00:01:57,507 --> 00:02:00,407
but I was voted number
two Elvis impersonator...
37
00:02:00,409 --> 00:02:02,177
in all of Laughlin, Nevada.
38
00:02:02,179 --> 00:02:03,745
Burnin' Vernon?
39
00:02:03,747 --> 00:02:07,318
Ha, more like a
hunka-hunka burnin' love!
40
00:02:09,853 --> 00:02:13,154
That oughta get you
pretty much up to speed.
41
00:02:13,156 --> 00:02:16,460
(CHURCH BELL TOLLS)
42
00:02:32,442 --> 00:02:34,375
(POLICE SIREN CHIRPS)
43
00:02:34,377 --> 00:02:38,348
What kind of a sick son of a bitch...?
44
00:02:42,352 --> 00:02:44,955
(SIREN CHIRPS)
45
00:02:45,955 --> 00:02:47,349
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
46
00:02:47,349 --> 00:02:50,882
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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00:02:51,394 --> 00:02:54,598
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
48
00:02:55,919 --> 00:02:57,698
VERNON (V.O.) Now
that little incident...
49
00:02:57,700 --> 00:03:00,837
should of only cost me 30 days in jail.
50
00:03:03,673 --> 00:03:05,406
But I guess you could say...
51
00:03:05,408 --> 00:03:07,310
I'm pretty good at bein' bad.
52
00:03:10,747 --> 00:03:12,947
Hey, fellas... what's...
53
00:03:12,949 --> 00:03:15,816
What's the sleeping situation in here?
54
00:03:15,818 --> 00:03:17,018
Take a top bunk.
55
00:03:17,020 --> 00:03:19,254
You snore, you wake up on the floor.
56
00:03:19,256 --> 00:03:20,589
Okay, I'm probably just gonna...
57
00:03:20,591 --> 00:03:22,760
make a pallet down here.
58
00:03:24,260 --> 00:03:26,793
Hey, I know you.
59
00:03:26,795 --> 00:03:28,529
Wait a minute...
60
00:03:28,531 --> 00:03:30,732
you one of Merle
Haggard's... kids, ain't you?
61
00:03:30,734 --> 00:03:32,433
That son of a bitch
had a damn ton of kids.
62
00:03:32,435 --> 00:03:34,869
Man, I love Merle Haggard.
63
00:03:34,871 --> 00:03:36,071
Is that right?
64
00:03:36,073 --> 00:03:38,406
No, man, uh, my dad and you...
65
00:03:38,408 --> 00:03:39,474
were best friends growing up.
66
00:03:39,476 --> 00:03:41,143
His name's Robert Murray.
67
00:03:41,145 --> 00:03:42,543
He played fiddle in your band.
68
00:03:42,545 --> 00:03:44,412
No way, Walter... little Walt?
69
00:03:44,414 --> 00:03:45,846
Yeah.
70
00:03:45,848 --> 00:03:47,849
What the hell are
you doin' in here, son?
71
00:03:47,851 --> 00:03:49,250
Well, it's kind of a long story.
72
00:03:49,252 --> 00:03:50,493
But a Sasquatch I caught...
73
00:03:50,494 --> 00:03:53,424
turned out to be an
extremely hairy lumberjack named Dale.
74
00:03:58,595 --> 00:04:00,661
I... I know that now.
75
00:04:00,663 --> 00:04:02,095
Oh hell, classic Murray...
76
00:04:02,097 --> 00:04:03,798
you are a chip off...
77
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:04,732
the old block.
78
00:04:04,734 --> 00:04:06,566
You know that? Hey, look here.
79
00:04:06,568 --> 00:04:08,302
I got somethin' I gotta show you!
80
00:04:08,304 --> 00:04:09,737
This is gonna freak you out.
81
00:04:09,739 --> 00:04:12,006
This right here, that's
me and your daddy!
82
00:04:12,008 --> 00:04:14,474
We took them bikes with
us everywhere we went.
83
00:04:14,476 --> 00:04:16,043
Where's my dad?
84
00:04:16,045 --> 00:04:17,577
See that little blurry
spot right there in the corner?
85
00:04:17,579 --> 00:04:18,947
That's his thumb.
86
00:04:18,949 --> 00:04:20,680
Do you got any with
his actual face in it?
87
00:04:20,682 --> 00:04:22,149
[GUARD] Hey, Vern, time to go!
88
00:04:22,151 --> 00:04:23,284
Hey, I gotta run, my man.
89
00:04:23,286 --> 00:04:25,286
We gonna catch up later, okay?
90
00:04:25,288 --> 00:04:26,954
Hot tip... keep an eye on...
91
00:04:26,956 --> 00:04:28,156
this dude right here.
92
00:04:28,158 --> 00:04:29,557
He stabbed the last guy...
93
00:04:29,559 --> 00:04:31,425
he was playing with for cheatin' on him.
94
00:04:31,427 --> 00:04:32,560
That's a lie.
95
00:04:32,562 --> 00:04:34,665
I stabbed him for winning.
96
00:04:35,699 --> 00:04:37,197
We're cool. I usually cheat...
97
00:04:37,199 --> 00:04:39,134
to lose anyway.
98
00:04:39,136 --> 00:04:42,106
(MUSIC PLAYING)
99
00:04:48,077 --> 00:04:49,145
(SCARF SWOOSHES)
100
00:04:59,072 --> 00:05:01,022
VERNON (V.O.) Unfortunately,
the police...
101
00:05:01,024 --> 00:05:02,690
impounded my car.
102
00:05:02,692 --> 00:05:06,094
Good news is all my
clothes were still in the trunk.
103
00:05:06,096 --> 00:05:08,195
Bad news is they got the keys...
104
00:05:08,197 --> 00:05:10,900
and I can't afford to get her out.
105
00:05:17,774 --> 00:05:20,707
This is unbelievable, man!
106
00:05:20,709 --> 00:05:24,178
My stepdad and my ex-wife loved you.
107
00:05:24,180 --> 00:05:25,712
Is that right?
108
00:05:25,714 --> 00:05:28,916
We used to make so much
sweet love to your cassette tapes!
109
00:05:28,918 --> 00:05:30,618
Yeah, there's some sweet jams on there.
110
00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:33,521
Oh, yeah, she was
such a beautiful dancer.
111
00:05:33,523 --> 00:05:37,461
We had an awesome
time. She was so beautiful.
112
00:05:38,661 --> 00:05:41,829
All gone... all right...
113
00:05:41,831 --> 00:05:43,998
What do you got here, huh, kiddo?
114
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,767
You stole a bread truck and crashed
it into a church sign.
115
00:05:46,769 --> 00:05:47,942
And there were hookers?
116
00:05:48,072 --> 00:05:50,637
In my defense, I was under
the influence of a ton of drugs...
117
00:05:50,639 --> 00:05:52,440
and alcohol, at the time.
118
00:05:52,442 --> 00:05:53,541
Atta boy!
119
00:05:53,543 --> 00:05:56,978
You, sir, are a wild man!
120
00:05:56,980 --> 00:05:59,447
Guilty as charged... yet innocent.
121
00:05:59,449 --> 00:06:01,149
Yes, I love that!
122
00:06:01,151 --> 00:06:03,418
But not everybody gets
what you're all about.
123
00:06:03,420 --> 00:06:04,819
You know what I mean? I do.
124
00:06:04,821 --> 00:06:06,620
To me, you are freedom.
125
00:06:06,622 --> 00:06:08,623
You're freedom, man.
126
00:06:08,625 --> 00:06:10,091
All right, strap in, kiddo.
127
00:06:10,093 --> 00:06:11,793
This one's gonna sting a little bit.
128
00:06:11,795 --> 00:06:14,661
You are to remain in
monitored probation...
129
00:06:14,663 --> 00:06:16,663
in the state of
Tennessee for one calendar year.
130
00:06:16,665 --> 00:06:18,832
Uh, that's not gonna work for me, hoss!
131
00:06:18,834 --> 00:06:20,067
I'm hittin' the road in the morning...
132
00:06:20,069 --> 00:06:21,702
got a couple gigs down in Tunica...
133
00:06:21,704 --> 00:06:23,103
gonna make a little cash.
134
00:06:23,105 --> 00:06:25,673
Ooh, I dig it.
135
00:06:25,675 --> 00:06:26,908
But... there's more.
136
00:06:26,910 --> 00:06:29,444
You owe 1000 hours of
community service...
137
00:06:29,446 --> 00:06:30,777
in that church you wrecked.
138
00:06:30,779 --> 00:06:32,880
1,000 hours? No way.
139
00:06:32,882 --> 00:06:35,949
You also better get a job,
with all the child support you owe.
140
00:06:35,951 --> 00:06:37,151
Say what?
141
00:06:37,153 --> 00:06:39,721
Child support... you owe a ton of it.
142
00:06:39,723 --> 00:06:42,990
For your 15-year-old daughter, Charlotte?
143
00:06:42,992 --> 00:06:47,195
Don't tell me you
didn't know about this?
144
00:06:47,197 --> 00:06:50,565
VERNON (V.O.) Finding out you got
a daughter who's halfway to 30...
145
00:06:50,567 --> 00:06:52,567
can come as quite a shock.
146
00:06:52,569 --> 00:06:54,180
And after a brief phone call...
147
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,603
with the mother of this child...
148
00:06:55,605 --> 00:06:57,204
I still wasn't convinced.
149
00:06:57,206 --> 00:07:00,541
So I figured I better just
pop in and see for myself.
150
00:07:00,543 --> 00:07:03,678
(MUSIC PLAYING)
151
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,813
I just got a message that said
152
00:07:05,815 --> 00:07:07,382
Yeah hell has frozen over
153
00:07:07,384 --> 00:07:09,653
I got a call from the lord
154
00:07:14,656 --> 00:07:16,390
You look like hell.
155
00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:18,058
Well, hey there.
156
00:07:18,060 --> 00:07:20,493
They didn't tell me I had
two illegitimate daughters.
157
00:07:20,495 --> 00:07:22,130
Cut the crap, Vernon.
158
00:07:22,132 --> 00:07:26,134
Can I just see her? I
mean, see if she looks like mine?
159
00:07:26,136 --> 00:07:28,868
I mean... me, see the resemblance...
160
00:07:28,870 --> 00:07:29,918
you know what I'm saying.
161
00:07:29,919 --> 00:07:31,337
Oh, she's yours...
162
00:07:31,339 --> 00:07:32,353
and you can see her...
163
00:07:32,354 --> 00:07:33,974
just as soon as you
pay your child support.
164
00:07:33,976 --> 00:07:35,476
It's a court order.
165
00:07:35,478 --> 00:07:37,377
Why didn't you ever
tell me I had a daughter?
166
00:07:37,379 --> 00:07:40,248
You know, I thought you would
say something stupid like that.
167
00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:41,685
Just one second...
168
00:07:45,889 --> 00:07:48,223
I sent you over a dozen letters.
169
00:07:48,225 --> 00:07:50,757
And all you ever sent back
were these cheesy head shots...
170
00:07:50,759 --> 00:07:52,192
with your stupid motto.
171
00:07:52,194 --> 00:07:54,728
"Follow your
dreams." "Follow your dreams."
172
00:07:54,730 --> 00:07:56,967
"Rock on, Debbie, follow your dreams."
173
00:07:58,502 --> 00:08:00,267
Hey! You gotta cut me some slack.
174
00:08:00,269 --> 00:08:03,003
My manager always handled my fan mail.
175
00:08:03,005 --> 00:08:05,906
Fan mail?
176
00:08:05,908 --> 00:08:10,478
Trust me, Vernon, you don't
have any fans in this house.
177
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,947
Oh... he don't look rich.
178
00:08:12,949 --> 00:08:15,548
I told you, it's royalty money.
179
00:08:15,550 --> 00:08:17,784
Ah, he's British.
180
00:08:17,786 --> 00:08:20,454
Vernon, Charlotte's dad.
181
00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:24,791
Let me make something
crystal-glass clear, Napoleon.
182
00:08:24,793 --> 00:08:26,493
I'm King Dad around these parts.
183
00:08:26,495 --> 00:08:28,729
You can bet your boat
I'mma keep it that way.
184
00:08:28,731 --> 00:08:31,298
I ain't got no boat to bet, amigo.
185
00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:35,973
Exactamundo... hombre.
186
00:08:39,108 --> 00:08:40,641
(METAL CLANGS)
187
00:08:40,643 --> 00:08:42,342
So, you kind of owe me a small fortune.
188
00:08:42,344 --> 00:08:44,778
Oh, come on, can't we work
out some kind of payment plan?
189
00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:46,047
Here's the plan.
190
00:08:46,049 --> 00:08:47,481
You pay me $500 a week...
191
00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:50,086
and I don't throw your ass back in jail.
192
00:08:52,354 --> 00:08:56,926
(MUSIC PLAYING)
193
00:09:08,031 --> 00:09:10,465
I need to get a gig, and fast.
194
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,133
Good news is...
195
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:14,101
when you got a number-one
record under your belt...
196
00:09:14,103 --> 00:09:17,138
well, there ain't no bar in
town would say no to that.
197
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:20,307
Hell to the naw! No way.
198
00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:21,442
Tell you what, pal.
199
00:09:21,444 --> 00:09:22,744
I'm gonna do you a favor.
200
00:09:22,746 --> 00:09:24,745
This might just be your lucky day, son.
201
00:09:24,747 --> 00:09:26,246
I'll play for two grand flat...
202
00:09:26,248 --> 00:09:28,416
and I won't even take a cut of the door.
203
00:09:28,418 --> 00:09:31,719
Oh, you're gonna do me a
big, old favor, are ya?
204
00:09:31,721 --> 00:09:33,553
You're gonna do an about-360...
205
00:09:33,555 --> 00:09:35,089
and get out of my daddy's club!
206
00:09:35,091 --> 00:09:38,592
You got some brass balls,
boy, some big brass balls.
207
00:09:38,594 --> 00:09:40,195
I'll give you that!
208
00:09:40,197 --> 00:09:43,932
Earl, I'm uncomfortable with
the way you stare at my crotch.
209
00:09:43,934 --> 00:09:49,403
You took my daddy's
vintage Smith and Wesson...
210
00:09:49,405 --> 00:09:53,908
Jesse James revolver and
robbed Whitt's Barbecue...
211
00:09:53,910 --> 00:09:55,377
at 4:00 o'clock in the damn mornin'...
212
00:09:55,379 --> 00:09:58,113
for a half a rack of
ribs and some coleslaw!
213
00:09:58,115 --> 00:10:02,283
(HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS)
214
00:10:02,285 --> 00:10:03,817
Coleslaw!
215
00:10:03,819 --> 00:10:06,187
200 bucks and all the beer I
can drink? What do you say?
216
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:07,757
Out!
217
00:10:09,626 --> 00:10:12,762
(MUSIC PLAYING)
218
00:10:13,996 --> 00:10:15,765
I... I don't think so.
219
00:10:17,934 --> 00:10:19,602
No.
220
00:10:26,742 --> 00:10:28,610
23 cents short.
221
00:10:28,612 --> 00:10:30,881
Think there's any way
you could spot me a quarter?
222
00:10:33,183 --> 00:10:35,716
Maybe you could see it in
your heart to help an old boy out?
223
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:39,390
Who's down on his luck,
but really needs a cold beer.
224
00:10:42,693 --> 00:10:46,060
Ma'am, you don't know how desperately
I need this beer.
225
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:50,097
Well, we might could work something out.
226
00:10:50,099 --> 00:10:51,533
Oh, my God.
227
00:10:51,535 --> 00:10:53,368
Uh-huh.
228
00:10:53,370 --> 00:10:55,736
I may need two.
229
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,638
[VERNON] One thing I know...
230
00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,407
the price of beer just went up.
231
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:02,212
Now I gotta go check on
that church I damaged.
232
00:11:05,147 --> 00:11:09,283
Hello? Here to report for duty.
233
00:11:09,285 --> 00:11:11,252
Be right with you now.
234
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:14,089
Well, we were having
trouble finding anyone local...
235
00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:16,724
so we had to reach out to
our sister ministries...
236
00:11:16,726 --> 00:11:19,192
found him out in Tulsa.
237
00:11:19,194 --> 00:11:21,928
Ought to be arriving any day now.
238
00:11:21,930 --> 00:11:24,231
I don't know what he looks like.
239
00:11:24,233 --> 00:11:25,700
Pastor Johnson...
240
00:11:25,702 --> 00:11:28,068
well, $500 a week for
doing the Lord's work...
241
00:11:28,070 --> 00:11:30,071
ain't nothing to
turn your nose up at now.
242
00:11:30,073 --> 00:11:34,908
That's right, $500 a week
plus half the weekly coffer.
243
00:11:34,910 --> 00:11:38,214
(MUSIC PLAYING)
244
00:11:43,252 --> 00:11:45,619
Sir, can I help you?
245
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:46,921
Is anyone there?
246
00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:50,191
Oh, hey there!
247
00:11:50,193 --> 00:11:53,594
Are you okay?
248
00:11:53,596 --> 00:11:54,995
I'm fine.
249
00:11:54,997 --> 00:11:56,897
Yes, I'm blind, but I ain't deaf.
250
00:11:56,899 --> 00:11:58,834
What can I do for you?
251
00:11:58,836 --> 00:12:01,336
Uh... I'm your new preacher!
252
00:12:01,338 --> 00:12:03,004
Yeah, I thought I
better get over here...
253
00:12:03,006 --> 00:12:05,309
and see where I'm tending my flock.
254
00:12:07,176 --> 00:12:08,576
She ain't much to look at...
255
00:12:08,578 --> 00:12:12,513
but the bed's comfy
and, well... it's free.
256
00:12:12,515 --> 00:12:15,182
Well, like the scripture
says, brethren...
257
00:12:15,184 --> 00:12:18,619
it's easier to fit a free
bed through the eye of a needle...
258
00:12:18,621 --> 00:12:21,924
than it is to get a camel through
the gates of heaven.
259
00:12:22,925 --> 00:12:24,558
And one more thing.
260
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:27,260
The county called and they
sending over some jailbird...
261
00:12:27,262 --> 00:12:28,962
to work off his community service.
262
00:12:28,964 --> 00:12:30,465
Ought to be here any day now.
263
00:12:30,467 --> 00:12:33,768
Could be some swindler, or
some chicken-shack gypsy.
264
00:12:33,770 --> 00:12:37,004
If I were you, I'd
keep an eye out on him.
265
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:40,007
(MUSIC PLAYING)
266
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,776
VERNON (V.O.) If I'm
gonna be the preacher...
267
00:12:41,778 --> 00:12:45,113
then I'm gonna need
somebody else to be the convict.
268
00:12:45,115 --> 00:12:48,519
Fortunately, I got a plan.
269
00:12:57,060 --> 00:13:00,728
Well, my day just got a lot better!
270
00:13:00,730 --> 00:13:02,930
Why do I feel like I'm
making a deal with the devil?
271
00:13:02,932 --> 00:13:04,999
Look, man, you don't
owe me a thing, okay?
272
00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:07,036
Okay, thank you.
273
00:13:08,838 --> 00:13:10,938
Why are you here?
274
00:13:10,940 --> 00:13:13,007
Your daddy was my best friend.
275
00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:14,875
When he died, I just
couldn't handle it...
276
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,311
so I just up and split.
277
00:13:16,313 --> 00:13:18,212
Then the record hit and everything...
278
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:21,783
and I never came back to check on you.
279
00:13:21,785 --> 00:13:23,820
I just want to say, I'm sorry.
280
00:13:25,688 --> 00:13:28,089
Why are you really here, man?
281
00:13:28,091 --> 00:13:30,390
I need you to go back to
that church I damaged...
282
00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:32,726
and do my community
service, so I don't get found out...
283
00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:35,430
being a fake preacher and
have to go back to jail.
284
00:13:35,432 --> 00:13:36,433
Got it.
285
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,566
You could have
skipped all the other crap.
286
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:39,967
Where's your car?
287
00:13:39,969 --> 00:13:41,338
That's another story, come on.
288
00:13:43,332 --> 00:13:46,401
Rest of the tools are in the shed.
289
00:13:46,403 --> 00:13:47,768
Can't wait.
290
00:13:47,770 --> 00:13:49,403
I'm not doing any of this stuff.
291
00:13:49,405 --> 00:13:52,107
Yes, you will.
292
00:13:52,109 --> 00:13:55,444
Well, Pastor Johnson, I'm
headed home for the day.
293
00:13:55,446 --> 00:13:58,080
You good with this convict stickin'
around till sundown?
294
00:13:58,082 --> 00:13:59,714
[VERNON] Yeah, I'll be fine.
295
00:13:59,716 --> 00:14:01,318
Oh, before I forget! Keys.
296
00:14:04,053 --> 00:14:06,689
That big one goes to
the front door and that...
297
00:14:06,691 --> 00:14:08,022
little one goes to the closet...
298
00:14:08,024 --> 00:14:09,557
that holds all the communion supplies.
299
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:11,392
You mean, like old
wafers and grape juice...
300
00:14:11,394 --> 00:14:12,695
that kind of thing?
301
00:14:12,697 --> 00:14:14,995
Yeah, well we use a
little table wine here.
302
00:14:14,997 --> 00:14:18,999
(MUSIC PLAYING)
303
00:14:19,001 --> 00:14:21,769
Oh, my God, there's ribs in here!
304
00:14:21,771 --> 00:14:25,306
Hey, what's the difference between
�Sell By� and "Best By"?
305
00:14:25,308 --> 00:14:29,878
I always felt like �Sell
By� was more of a suggestion?
306
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:31,745
Do you think she got my eyes?
307
00:14:31,747 --> 00:14:35,383
Except for like... oh... oh...
308
00:14:35,385 --> 00:14:37,252
I think she got my eyes.
309
00:14:37,254 --> 00:14:41,822
No, no, her eyes kind of go, woo-woo!
310
00:14:41,824 --> 00:14:43,859
And yours kind of go, woo... woo.
311
00:14:43,861 --> 00:14:46,527
You don't know what the
hell you're talking about.
312
00:14:46,529 --> 00:14:48,031
Aw, my God.
313
00:14:56,005 --> 00:15:00,008
You know, Vernon, you're not the
first man I sent a sign to.
314
00:15:00,010 --> 00:15:02,777
But you gotta be the first one
to smash right through it...
315
00:15:02,779 --> 00:15:05,015
like some kinda drunken hillbilly, ha-ha!
316
00:15:06,216 --> 00:15:08,517
Take the wheel, Special J.
317
00:15:08,519 --> 00:15:10,719
Look out! Comin' in hot!
318
00:15:10,721 --> 00:15:15,156
Look at this... preacher in
the front, party in the back!
319
00:15:15,158 --> 00:15:16,691
Quit hoggin' the ribs, man!
320
00:15:16,693 --> 00:15:18,460
Oh, yeah.
321
00:15:18,462 --> 00:15:21,296
All right, Vernon, if you
want to earn your daughter's love...
322
00:15:21,298 --> 00:15:24,599
you're gonna have to
change your heart...
323
00:15:24,601 --> 00:15:27,603
and learn hope, and love...
324
00:15:27,605 --> 00:15:30,205
and cool [BLEEP] like that.
325
00:15:30,207 --> 00:15:31,672
You know what I'm saying?
326
00:15:31,674 --> 00:15:33,474
Well said, E.
327
00:15:33,476 --> 00:15:35,176
Dad'damnit!
328
00:15:35,178 --> 00:15:37,378
I dropped sauce all over my robe!
329
00:15:37,380 --> 00:15:38,582
Amen.
330
00:15:41,751 --> 00:15:43,118
Come on, Walt!
331
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,619
Where are we going? I don't wanna...
332
00:15:44,621 --> 00:15:45,990
Come on, back out.
333
00:15:47,124 --> 00:15:50,124
I'm taking this with me.
334
00:15:50,126 --> 00:15:51,725
[CHARLOTTE] Hey, Mom, I'm headed out.
335
00:15:51,727 --> 00:15:53,094
Okay, home by midnight, right?
336
00:15:53,096 --> 00:15:55,062
Right, and remember,
if Mabel's mom calls...
337
00:15:55,064 --> 00:15:57,397
we're braiding each others'
hair and watching a G-rated movie.
338
00:15:57,399 --> 00:15:58,398
I got it.
339
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,668
- I love you.
- I love you.
340
00:16:00,670 --> 00:16:02,269
Hey, I'm gonna need you home by 10:00!
341
00:16:02,271 --> 00:16:03,470
Not gonna happen, Ronnie.
342
00:16:03,472 --> 00:16:04,906
My house, my rules!
343
00:16:04,908 --> 00:16:05,974
Not your house, Ronnie.
344
00:16:05,976 --> 00:16:07,309
Squatter's rights!
345
00:16:07,311 --> 00:16:09,109
You're not a squatter, Ronnie.
346
00:16:09,111 --> 00:16:11,278
The hell, I ain't!
347
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:14,382
All right, I'm
ready to meet my daughter.
348
00:16:14,384 --> 00:16:16,051
What are you gonna say to her?
349
00:16:16,053 --> 00:16:18,652
[RONNIE] Byways and
highways and greenways of America...
350
00:16:18,654 --> 00:16:20,356
I'm a born squatter!
351
00:16:28,966 --> 00:16:30,464
And no drinking, young ladies!
352
00:16:30,466 --> 00:16:34,201
Because I'll know. Nothing
gets by Ronnie... nothing!
353
00:16:34,203 --> 00:16:36,940
I got eyes in the back of my head!
354
00:16:41,912 --> 00:16:43,114
Whoa.
355
00:16:44,847 --> 00:16:46,583
Did you see her?
356
00:16:48,117 --> 00:16:50,954
Oh, I'm almost out of ribs.
357
00:16:57,961 --> 00:17:00,161
Are you okay, man?
358
00:17:00,163 --> 00:17:04,598
She's like a full-grown
woman... I made that.
359
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:08,303
Okay... we should
probably get some food.
360
00:17:08,305 --> 00:17:12,676
You got it, hoss... one more, bartender.
361
00:17:19,683 --> 00:17:21,615
Double shot, please.
362
00:17:21,617 --> 00:17:24,385
I gotta preach in the morning.
363
00:17:24,387 --> 00:17:26,490
(SNORING)
364
00:17:29,893 --> 00:17:31,694
(GOAT BLEATING)
365
00:17:40,869 --> 00:17:44,806
Walt! What time is it?
366
00:17:44,808 --> 00:17:48,042
I don't know, the truck's dead.
367
00:17:48,044 --> 00:17:51,211
It's like 8:30.
368
00:17:51,213 --> 00:17:53,347
Aren't you supposed
to fake preach today?
369
00:17:53,349 --> 00:17:55,450
- Sh...
- (GOAT BLEATING)
370
00:17:55,452 --> 00:17:57,087
Is that a goat?
371
00:17:57,647 --> 00:18:00,350
(MUSIC PLAYING)
372
00:18:02,885 --> 00:18:04,084
Come on!
373
00:18:04,086 --> 00:18:07,756
Son of a bitch give me a drink
374
00:18:07,758 --> 00:18:09,056
One more night
375
00:18:09,058 --> 00:18:10,325
Thank you.
376
00:18:10,327 --> 00:18:11,794
This can't be me
377
00:18:11,796 --> 00:18:15,432
Son of a bitch If
I can't get clean
378
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:19,700
I'm gonna drink my life away
379
00:18:19,702 --> 00:18:21,636
(CHURCH BELL TOLLS)
380
00:18:21,638 --> 00:18:25,974
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
381
00:18:25,976 --> 00:18:30,179
Oh oh oh
382
00:18:30,181 --> 00:18:34,048
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
383
00:18:34,050 --> 00:18:38,386
Oh oh oh oh oh
384
00:18:38,388 --> 00:18:41,658
- Just go on without me.
- (CHURCH BELL TOLLS)
385
00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:46,631
Whew!
386
00:18:50,902 --> 00:18:54,335
Okay, you can do this, man.
387
00:18:54,337 --> 00:18:58,840
Just go out there and
fire these people up.
388
00:18:58,842 --> 00:19:02,710
Just another stage and
you know how to own it.
389
00:19:02,712 --> 00:19:04,846
[CURTIS] I appreciate the
pep talk, Pastor Johnson...
390
00:19:04,848 --> 00:19:06,247
But I'll be just fine...
391
00:19:06,249 --> 00:19:09,484
been playin' the
organ since I was a boy.
392
00:19:09,486 --> 00:19:13,091
Can't wait to hear what you
say to the people today, though.
393
00:19:14,692 --> 00:19:16,557
Me, too.
394
00:19:16,559 --> 00:19:19,629
I may have ate too many
wings... too many wings.
395
00:19:22,532 --> 00:19:25,601
[WALT] Aw, hell, the real preacher?
396
00:19:25,603 --> 00:19:28,172
Oh, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.
397
00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:35,118
VERNON (V.O.) I'm starting to realize...
398
00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:36,644
fate has a sense of humor.
399
00:19:36,646 --> 00:19:39,614
One minute, you're passed
out in a creek bed, half-naked...
400
00:19:39,616 --> 00:19:41,650
and drunk, then, hocus pocus...
401
00:19:41,652 --> 00:19:44,052
you're preachin' to the congregation.
402
00:19:44,054 --> 00:19:45,187
Mornin'.
403
00:19:45,189 --> 00:19:46,356
Good morning.
404
00:19:47,691 --> 00:19:52,760
I've been thinking a
lot about what to say...
405
00:19:52,762 --> 00:19:58,901
this being my first
morning to preach for y'all.
406
00:19:58,903 --> 00:20:04,139
And all of a sudden, it
hit me... that old saying...
407
00:20:04,141 --> 00:20:08,709
the truth will set you free.
408
00:20:08,711 --> 00:20:11,749
VERNON (V.O.) I guess
it's time to face the music.
409
00:20:13,048 --> 00:20:15,116
You got to have faith!
410
00:20:15,118 --> 00:20:16,918
(MUSIC PLAYING)
411
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:18,353
You got to have love!
412
00:20:18,355 --> 00:20:19,955
Amen! Amen!
413
00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:22,990
You got to reach out and
take the spirit by the bells...
414
00:20:22,992 --> 00:20:24,426
and ring 'em!
415
00:20:24,428 --> 00:20:26,527
Hallelujah!
416
00:20:26,529 --> 00:20:32,301
To introduce myself I'm
a man of wealth and taste
417
00:20:32,303 --> 00:20:34,603
VERNON (V.O.) Hah!
Ain't nothing to worry about.
418
00:20:34,605 --> 00:20:37,126
Well, this ain't no
different than playing Elvis...
419
00:20:37,267 --> 00:20:38,315
for a packed house.
420
00:20:38,431 --> 00:20:40,229
I've been in the darkness for so long...
421
00:20:40,356 --> 00:20:42,945
I know exactly where to find the light.
422
00:20:42,947 --> 00:20:44,545
Oh, yeah.
423
00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:46,599
Well, I hope these people are ready...
424
00:20:46,755 --> 00:20:47,481
'cause I'm about to rock...
425
00:20:47,483 --> 00:20:49,751
the devil outta this
little white church.
426
00:20:49,753 --> 00:20:53,256
I'm gonna have them
hangin' on my every word.
427
00:20:55,491 --> 00:20:59,629
Now if I can only
figure out what to say.
428
00:21:09,073 --> 00:21:10,740
Oh, shi...
429
00:21:11,957 --> 00:21:16,074
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430
00:21:16,124 --> 00:21:20,674
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