All language subtitles for Spun Out s02e09 Dream On.eng

You call yourself a
buckle? You have two jobs,

holding up my fanny pack and
making me look good. Come on!

Everything okay, Bryce?

Stephanie, I'm glad you're here.
Could you help me take this off?

Well, this is really jammed, huh?

- Please be gentle.
- Well, I'm sorry,

but this won't budge.

Wait. I think it moved. Yeah.

- Maybe if put my hand here...
- Yes.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Yes!

Ah, sweet release!

I feel so wonderfully naked.

Oh, yeah... Oh...

(growling)

(gasping)

Oh, dear God, no!

Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.

"It was the biggest and the
smallest fish I ever saw".

Mwah!

Why are you making us watch this?

We're inviting you to see
Beardy and Baldy do improv

at Flibbertigibbets.

It's going to be explosive. Pew! Pew! Pew!

- Pew! Pew! Pew!
- Pew.

Oh, improv, I love improv!

Okay, I'm gonna need an occupation.

As will we all if we don't come up with
ten positive ways to say "food poisoning"

for our client, Pink Chicken,

home of the underdone hen.

"Revisit the memory of a great meal".

Good!

"All our calories are temporary".

Stephanie. So nice of you
to make it in this morning.

I'm sorry. I had a really
rough sleep last night.

Oh, I know. That red-eye from Japan
after closing that deal was a killer.

Oh wait, that was me.

And I still made it in on time!

I need you working on
the McMillan Charity Ball.

Uh, Stephanie, I have
some phone messages for you

in my fanny pack. Could
you help me out here?

What? No! I don't want to help
you with your crotch purse.

I'm not that type of
girl. I'm a working girl.

I'm not a working girl.
I work, and I am a girl.

I'm a woman! Stop looking at me, please.

Hmm... I wonder what that was all about.

No, I'm not barely legal,

and you really have to stop calling here.

You know what I wish?

I wish I had a third hand
that was always giving people

the middle finger. Save
me time while driving.

You flip people off that much?

I'm a teacher, Beckett, and
the highway is my classroom.

Beckett. Can I ask you

- a question as a writer?
- Sure, Dave.

Then you can ask me a
question as an astronaut.

You know, I wish I had a third
hand that was always givingyou

- the finger.
- Ah, but you don't.

Hey, have you read
Richard Branson's new book?

Don't. It is a self-congratulatory
piece of crap.

Which is actually the title of the book.

What makes people like that think that
anyone wants to read about their lives?

- I'm writing my own book.
- Yeah, I mean,

you should write a book.

Just this morning, I said to Beckett,

"Dave could totally
write a kick-ass book."

- No, you didn't.
- Really? I meant to.

Anyway,

that bastard Branson has inspired me to
write down some of my stories on paper.

I just want you to have a look at it,
let me know if I'm on the right track.

I'm flattered. Dave Lyons
wants me to read his...

- Here it is.
- ...very large book.

Hey, be brutally honest, OK?

Ha, ha, ha!

You gotta read.

- I like reading.
- Ha, ha, you like reading!

Four espressos. All the way from Manion's.

You realize you have an espresso
machine five feet away from you.

- Mm-hmm.
- OK,

these are all for you then.

Yeah, I was up super
late last night working.

- Ohh, that's so boring.
- Well, it's not the only reason.

OK, wanna hear something really messed up?

Always.

OK, but you have to
promise not to tell anybody.

I 80% promise.

Last night,

I had a sex dream about somebody in DLPR

and I cannot get the image out of my head.

Who?! Beckett?

- Not Gordon!
- Worse...

- Hello, Stephanie.
- AH!

- Abby.
- Amazing!

Sorry to interrupt your
jovial gal chat, ladies.

But these are the flyers
for my improv show,

and I wanted to personally invite you both.

Oh, really?

I'm sure Stephanie would love
to go to your show, Bryce.

She loves you.

So does Abby, she loves you too.

Well, you two make me feel like a real

improv-Mick-Jagger.

I'm sure you're gonna have Stephanie
rolling on the floor in fits of...

Laughter. Rolling on the
floor in fits of laughter.

I wouldn't be surprised. There's
literally no chairs at the venue.

So, would you like me to frame
this and put it up in your locker?

Or is that gonna make it a little
hard for you to make out with?

I'm gonna kill you.

What's that? Never stop? Awesome.

What?

He saved how many children from
that well? How big was that well?

How clumsy were those children?

Sounds like a bestseller.

It's a rags-to-riches story, except
the rags are made out of spun gold.

Any good story has to have some adversity.

It can't be all high points.

Man, I don't know how
I'm gonna tell Dave this.

Ohh... Here's an idea: don't.

He said to be honest.

But he meant "Do I look
fat in this dress" honest,

not "Do I have something
in my teeth" honest.

I don't follow. (sighing)

Truth is like the movieAlien.

Oh, I cannot wait for this.

Had that baby-space-freak
in the guy's stomach

just died inside of him, everybody
on board might've been okay,

but it got out and killed
everybody on that ship.

Not Sigourney Weaver.
She went on to doAvatar.

My point exactly.

That's what the truth will do.

Beckett.

Just curious. What do you think so far?

Well, Dave, to be honest...

- (grunting)
- You okay?

Yeah.

I loved it! In fact,

the only reason I put it down is
because it was so heavy. Congrats,

- big guy.
- Oh, thank you,

Beckett guy. I'm going to go

call that hump Branson and tell
him to watch his literary back.

Mazel tov. The baby-space-freak

dies inside.

- Hi.
- Hey!

How's the rest of your day going? Any more
visits from your little bald dream weaver?

I just got that image out of my head.

Oh my God, what are the odds?

Whoa!

Oh my...

Oh, my God...

Thanks, guys.

Where did you get those guys?

I think they're auditioning
for the Blue Man Group.

Actors are sad.

(all): Hey!

Is it just me

- or did it get more handsome in here?
- It's just you.

Stephanie, McMillan's coming
in tomorrow and he wants

to discuss your strategy. So,
you'll have to start early.

- OK, got it, great, thank you.
- And to expedite things, I'll be working

- right by your side.
- Yep, that's how my life works.

- (all): Hey!
- Hey!

Ha, ha, ha! Oh, Tolstoy.

It's funny because it's bleak.

Hey.

- What do you think?
- Sweet lean.

- Good angle.
- It took me two hours to perfect.

It's a little hard to maintain, but
I think I'm up for the challenge.

- Nice to see you applying yourself.
- You gotta have goals.

- Ah, Beckett.
- Dave.

Glad I tracked you
down. Great lean, Nelson.

Dave, flawless entrance.

You got me so excited about my memoir,

I just wanted to run a few ideas past you.

It's not likeWar and
Peace is going anywhere.

- What were you thinking?
- I jotted down some stuff

on a napkin.

Ooh, linen.

- You steal this?
- They're complimentary, I believe.

Well, there's a lot of good stuff here.

"Write book as if answering
fan letter from God."

- So, what do you think?
- Well...

(grunting)

It's a lean cramp.

I think whatever you want to do is good

and people are going to love it.

Great. Well, since you love it so much,

I want you to ghostwrite this book for me.

What? No. Really?

No. Me? No.

Yes. You. Congratulations.

You know, I'm thinking
about calling the book

The Greatest Story Ever Told.

- That's already been done.
- Oh, uh... King of Kings.

That's a flawless exit.

(elevator bell)

Good morning!

Oh no!

I figured you guys
would be so busy working,

I'd bring you some breakfast.

What have you got?

- Well, there's oysters...
- Ooh.

And... oysters.

Breakfast of champions.

Well, I for one am not afraid

of a morning mollusk.
Abby, you shouldn't have.

Yeah, Abby, you really shouldn't have.

Licking envelopes.

Classic Bryce.

- Such a giver.
- Please stop.

Do you have a technique
you care to demonstrate?

No, he doesn't. No.

Why not? You will note

that technique is key for maximum coverage.

Your turn, Stephanie. Fair is fair.

Ooh. "Aw, shucks".

- Mmm!
- Ooh!

Oyster puns.

And you dreamt about him. Amazing!

- (slurping)
- Mmm!

Branson, Lyons here.

I was just calling to let you
know that I'm writing a memoir.

There's a chance you
might be mentioned in it,

but there's a much greater
chance that you won't.

Alright, well, adios, Sir Dick.

Sir Dick. He hates that.

Put that in. Put that in. (chuckling)

OK, now, when I write,

I like to figure out the
protagonist. What's his arc?

What are his inner demons? Why should we go

on this journey with him, and
what will he learn about himself?

Yes, OK. Well,

inner demons? That he's great.

- OK.
- We will go on this journey with him

because he's great.

And in the end, he will learn

what he already knew...

- That he is great?
- Exactly.

OK! Alright.

Let the magic begin.

Alright.

Yep.

- (chuckling)
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

- Uh...
- Oh, of course, of course! Yeah.

Sorry.

Hey, you gonna drink that scotch?

- Uh, no.
- Oh!

No need to waste it!

Hmm! I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'll just be over here.

- You get to work.
- Alright.

Ah! OK.

I have an idea. Since I know what you want,

why don't I write a chapter,
and I'll bring it back to you.

- Great. Writing's fun, huh?
- OK.

- Hey, Steph!
- No...

Okay, that's cool, I can walk and talk.

Nothing else here requires
Bryce's tongue, so you may leave.

Look, I was having fun

and things got a little
out of hand and I'm sorry.

Pardon me. I have an appointment.

Oh, brilliant.

If it isn't Abby's big grand finale.

Hey there, cutie pie. How much did
we to pay you to dress like that, huh?

- Excuse me?
- No, I get it, I get it.

I have dirty dreams
about my co-worker, Bryce.

Weird, sexless Bryce with
his big fat fanny pack.

Could I give you a hand with this, hmm?

- Let me take that off for ya.
- Dear God,

- my heart medication is in there.
- Ooh, ooh, ooh!

You like that? Ha, ha, ha!

Mr. McMillan.

I have an appointment
to see Stephanie Lyons.

- Yes, well, she couldn't be here today...
- She couldn't be here today,

she was swept away by a tornado.
Such a shame. Freak accident.

Don't worry about that girl, she's
insane. Have you been to Manion's?

We have a great wing special on today!

- I can't eat saturated fats!
- Oh...

- Oh, here's your medication.
- Thank you, crazy girl.

Oh, my God. Thank you, Bryce.

Oh, no need to thank me.

Just performing the traditional
duties of the office eunuch.

- Bryce, I...
- And scene!

Hey, Beckett, you coming
to our improv show tonight?

- How many people you got so far?
- With you...

one.

But the theatre only holds
ten, so it'll feel full.

Yeah. Sorry, Gordon, there's just
no way I can make it to your show.

I'm making literary history.

I'll put you down as a maybe.

Wow, look at you all typey-
typey, smiley-Wiley. You see?

- Lying works.
- Actually, I went in a different direction.

Different how? I thought we'd just
agreed that lying always works?

I wrote the truth and I
think it humanized him.

That's what people want to read.

- They want depth.
- The book weighed 100 pounds,

how much more depth do you need?

You just don't get it, do
you? You don't read Superman

to get to really know Clark Kent!

You read it to see
Superman defeat Doomsday.

Doomsday killed Superman.

He did? Well, thanks for ruining it.

Beckett, I have some amazing news.

Oh, and I have some amazing
news for you. Read this.

Really? Alright!

(chuckling)

This isn't what we agreed to write.

- Why isn't this what we agreed to write?
- Dave,

your book is just a list of
things that make you awesome.

Nothing that makes you interesting.
I don't think there's a story here.

Big guy.

Interesting.

Random House didn't seem to
share your opinion, though,

when they offered me a six-figure advance.

Really took the sting out of the
two grand I was going to pay you.

Nelson, would you like to help
me write the next bestseller?

For two grand, I'll even read it.

You just had to let him out, huh?

Looks like your night just opened up.

Should I put you down as a single

or will you be bringing nine friends?

- Hey, Bryce.
- (both): Shh! Rehearsing.

Hey, Stephanie.

(chuckling) That got pretty out of hand.

I sexually harassed a client

and then I chucked his heart medication.

So you're gonna pour me a shot, and then
you're gonna help me go apologize to Bryce.

Fine.

I like this mirror way
better than an actual mirror.

Why's that, Gordon?

Because in this mirror, there's no goat man

staring back at me,
beckoning me into his world.

- Ugh!
- Ugh!

Gordon, can we talk to Bryce for a sec?

Sure, I'm gonna go to Flibbertigibbets,

burn some sage. It's
haunted. See you there.

Look, Bryce, I feel terrible.

You really didn't deserve that.

You are a handsome, charming man.

I know. I'll admit I was hurt at first,

but then I remembered people
will say almost anything

once they become sexually obsessed with me.

- (laughing)
- Sorry.

I wouldn't say... I
wouldn't say obsessed...

Oh, tut, tut, dear girl.

There's no shame in it.
You're in good company.

Everyone wants a slice of Bryce.

- They do?
- Yup. Ren Fair, Comic Con,

and now the world of improv.

- Oh.
- Well, that's great, Bryce,

but I still feel really bad. Is there
anything we can do to make it up to you?

Sure, come to our show.

- Oh, absolutely, yes. We will be there.
- Yes!

I mean, we made fun of
him, we didn't kill him.

Oh, no.

- We will be there.
- Great.

Although I will ask you
to make yourselves scarce

when my groupies come by.
They accept every suggestion.

- How's the book coming, Dave?
- Well, except for the fact

that Nelson's draft is
horrible, it's going great.

Look,

I love a good 'good
triumphs over evil' story.

I just never read an 'awesome crushes

everything' tale where the main character's
only struggle is where to put his awards.

It's no struggle, I put most of them there.

The rest go in the bathroom.
Creates the illusion of humility.

My point is your book

doesn't tell the story
of who you really are.

Surely, you must've had one setback.

You've never burned microwave popcorn?

How? I mean, the instructions
are right on the bag

and the machine has a
button that says "popcorn."

I give up. You are perfect.

Now, look, there's a mystique
to being Dave Lyons, alright?

And that mystique keeps
us in this lovely office.

Besides, if people want
to hear a rich man whine,

they can just turn on FOX news.

So, do you think you'll ever
write the whole story one day?

It's already written.

And when I'm dead and I no longer care

about profit margins, it'll come out.

You want to read some?

Go on.

This is the saddest thing I've ever read!

Why couldn't you be at
Stephanie's Christmas pageant?

Rotten eggnog scandal of '98.

Oh, it was that important?
I've never even heard of it.

Exactly. Thanks to me, no one did.

That's a decision I will always regret.

Hey guys, we're heading over to
Bryce and Gordon's improv show.

- Wha...
- Merry Christmas.

Shh. You don't have to be strong now.

I don't know.

- Hey! Great show tonight.
- Thanks.

So how much did Beardy and Baldy make?

Well, at five dollars a
ticket, minus my comps,

and my ginger ale...

We only owe the venue twenty dollars.

And once I give it to them
they'll give me Bryce back.

Well, either way, it takes a lot
of guts to get up there on stage.

I know. I was nervous at
first, but then I learned

to just let it go. It all
starts with the trust fall.

- The trust fall?
- Yeah. Here, I'll show you.

Turn around.

Turn around.

OK, now fall.

Feels good, doesn't it?

To trust.

It does. Almost too good.

Oh, dear God, no!

Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.

I forgot how to shrug.

Repair and Synchronization by
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