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1
00:00:03,374 --> 00:00:05,339
This is not a Harvey Wallbanger.
2
00:00:05,340 --> 00:00:07,740
Here, let me write down the recipe for you
3
00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:09,740
so you never forget.
4
00:00:09,741 --> 00:00:11,973
Oh, okay, okay.
5
00:00:11,974 --> 00:00:15,840
You know, I must've forgot because
I'm not a swinger from the seventies.
6
00:00:15,841 --> 00:00:18,407
Just keep it, all right?
7
00:00:19,641 --> 00:00:21,773
Why are you harassing the bartender?
8
00:00:21,774 --> 00:00:23,706
Because. It's a thing I do.
9
00:00:23,707 --> 00:00:26,673
When my husband nags me, I take
it out on the service industry.
10
00:00:26,674 --> 00:00:29,373
Oh, so that's why you made
those baristas cry this morning.
11
00:00:29,374 --> 00:00:32,206
Oh my God! The mayor
is trending on Twitter.
12
00:00:32,207 --> 00:00:34,706
You don't even want to
know what the hashtag is.
13
00:00:34,707 --> 00:00:37,506
I have to show this to my dad.
14
00:00:37,507 --> 00:00:40,272
Okay, how do I know if a girl likes me?
15
00:00:40,273 --> 00:00:41,871
She doesn't.
16
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:44,139
If I like a guy, I let
him buy me breakfast.
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00:00:44,140 --> 00:00:47,606
(short laugh) But other
girls have different rules.
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00:00:47,607 --> 00:00:51,339
Okay, if she likes you, she'll
punch you when she says goodbye.
19
00:00:51,340 --> 00:00:53,406
If she like-likes you,
20
00:00:53,407 --> 00:00:56,107
she'll tug on your shirt sleeve.
21
00:00:56,108 --> 00:00:59,706
What? You're not talking about
Stephanie, are you? Bad idea!
22
00:00:59,707 --> 00:01:03,234
No! You should go for
it! Stephanie is amazing!
23
00:01:03,235 --> 00:01:05,076
And it'll finally get
you out of the house so I
24
00:01:05,077 --> 00:01:06,906
can stop telling guys
that you're my brother.
25
00:01:06,907 --> 00:01:10,706
All I'm saying is: Don't
crap where you work.
26
00:01:10,707 --> 00:01:13,272
Speaking of crapping where you work,
27
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:16,339
the mayor was just caught
taking a dump in a pothole.
28
00:01:16,340 --> 00:01:19,373
The election's over. Why
is he still campaigning?
29
00:01:19,374 --> 00:01:21,373
(crowd laughing)
30
00:01:21,374 --> 00:01:23,439
He got sick and tired of
City Council telling him
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00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,473
to do something about
potholes, so he finally did.
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00:01:25,474 --> 00:01:28,840
At rush hour, while shouting,
"This is gonna take a while!"
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00:01:28,841 --> 00:01:31,873
Well, I guess he was just
doing his civic doody.
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00:01:31,874 --> 00:01:34,740
Ha! Ha! Ha! Nice. (laughing again)
35
00:01:34,741 --> 00:01:38,206
Well, he will be attending
our charity casino night.
36
00:01:38,207 --> 00:01:41,172
Whoever lands him as a client
will get a $5,000 bonus.
37
00:01:41,173 --> 00:01:43,007
That bonus is mine.
38
00:01:43,008 --> 00:01:45,107
See you guys tomorrow night.
39
00:01:45,108 --> 00:01:47,107
(background chatter)
40
00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:50,007
Punch and tug? What does that mean?
41
00:01:50,008 --> 00:01:52,272
That is uncharted territory.
42
00:01:52,273 --> 00:01:54,573
Or the worst massage parlor ever.
43
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(crowd laughing)
44
00:01:56,207 --> 00:01:58,740
Fill the lens
45
00:01:58,741 --> 00:02:01,606
With all your friends
46
00:02:01,607 --> 00:02:05,206
Oh now
47
00:02:05,207 --> 00:02:07,239
Is forever
48
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:10,606
Come on, fill the lens
49
00:02:10,607 --> 00:02:11,638
With all your friends
50
00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:15,264
Subtitles by awaqeded
www.addic7ed.com
51
00:02:16,698 --> 00:02:18,865
(cheering)
52
00:02:20,131 --> 00:02:22,130
Bryce, any sign of the mayor?
53
00:02:22,131 --> 00:02:24,564
Not yet, sir. Perhaps he passed
54
00:02:24,565 --> 00:02:27,063
an irresistible pothole on the way over.
55
00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:29,063
- (elevator bell)
- Oh, this must be him!
56
00:02:29,064 --> 00:02:31,430
Announcing the arrival of His
Excellency, the Honourable...
57
00:02:31,431 --> 00:02:34,430
random employee plus
well-dressed hanger-on.
58
00:02:34,431 --> 00:02:36,930
- Thank you!
- (crowd laughing)
59
00:02:36,931 --> 00:02:39,097
- So, how glamorous is this?
- I know!
60
00:02:39,098 --> 00:02:41,597
I think you should tell
Stephanie how you feel tonight.
61
00:02:41,598 --> 00:02:43,997
No, you know what? Nelson's
right. It's too complicated.
62
00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:46,930
- I'm just going to forget the whole thing.
- (elevator bell)
63
00:02:46,931 --> 00:02:50,164
(mixed reactions in the crowd)
64
00:02:51,897 --> 00:02:54,397
- Change your mind?
- Y'uh-huh.
65
00:02:54,398 --> 00:02:57,297
- You guys look great!
- You look amazing.
66
00:02:57,298 --> 00:02:59,597
Thank you. Hard to
believe it's the same girl
67
00:02:59,598 --> 00:03:02,063
that had spinach in her
teeth all day yesterday.
68
00:03:02,064 --> 00:03:04,063
Ah, sweetheart, you
could have an entire salad
69
00:03:04,064 --> 00:03:06,230
hanging from your teeth and
you'd still look beautiful.
70
00:03:06,231 --> 00:03:09,564
- (crowd laughing)
- Thanks, dad.
71
00:03:09,565 --> 00:03:12,731
- Hey.
- Hi.
72
00:03:12,732 --> 00:03:15,997
You look... Your... dress...
73
00:03:15,998 --> 00:03:17,997
(crowd laughing)
74
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:20,796
- Duh!
- Ow!
75
00:03:20,797 --> 00:03:24,063
- (crowd laughing)
- Why'd you do that?
76
00:03:24,064 --> 00:03:27,097
- I don't know. I thought I saw a spider.
- What?!
77
00:03:27,098 --> 00:03:29,631
- (crowd laughing)
- What?
78
00:03:29,632 --> 00:03:32,963
- I have shiny shoes!
- (crowd laughing)
79
00:03:32,964 --> 00:03:35,330
- What was that?
- I froze!
80
00:03:35,331 --> 00:03:37,932
She didn't have any sleeves.
My whole plan hinged on sleeves!
81
00:03:39,231 --> 00:03:42,330
Bryce, would you call the
mayor? He should be here by now.
82
00:03:42,331 --> 00:03:44,364
- Already on it, sir.
- (musical ringtone)
83
00:03:44,365 --> 00:03:47,297
Yello! Mayor Johnson speaking.
84
00:03:47,298 --> 00:03:51,297
- (crowd laughing)
- Oh! What are you wearing?
85
00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:54,830
- (crowd laughing again)
- Speak slowly.
86
00:03:54,831 --> 00:03:57,163
Mr. Mayor, you're here!
87
00:03:57,164 --> 00:03:59,930
Yep. Landed on the roof in my helicopter.
88
00:03:59,931 --> 00:04:02,796
Thank you, taxpayers! (chuckling)
89
00:04:02,797 --> 00:04:04,796
(crowd laughing)
90
00:04:04,797 --> 00:04:07,830
Oh, this must be that
lovely daughter of yours
91
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:10,664
I've been hearing so much about!
92
00:04:10,665 --> 00:04:13,530
No, sir. I'm his
executive assistant, Bryce.
93
00:04:13,531 --> 00:04:15,364
Also, I'm a man.
94
00:04:15,365 --> 00:04:17,364
Woops! (short laugh)
95
00:04:17,365 --> 00:04:20,364
- Your head looks like a boobie.
- (crowd laughing)
96
00:04:20,365 --> 00:04:22,464
Hey, guys!
97
00:04:22,465 --> 00:04:25,264
They've auto-tuned the mayor's video.
98
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:28,330
This is gonna take a while
This is gonna take a while
99
00:04:28,331 --> 00:04:30,197
This is gonna take a while
100
00:04:30,198 --> 00:04:33,219
That's my jam! Send me that link, sweetie!
101
00:04:33,220 --> 00:04:34,940
I'll send you the link,
but remember, if you
102
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,830
sign with our firm, it's because of me.
103
00:04:36,831 --> 00:04:38,997
Oh yes! We sure will remember that,
104
00:04:38,998 --> 00:04:41,597
- Bryce McBradden.
- (crowd laughing)
105
00:04:41,598 --> 00:04:44,163
And now, if we could discuss
representation. Mr. Mayor...
106
00:04:44,164 --> 00:04:46,930
- Uh, uh, uh.
-
This is gonna take a while
107
00:04:46,931 --> 00:04:50,397
This is gonna take a while
This is gonna take a while
108
00:04:50,398 --> 00:04:53,564
(crowd laughing)
109
00:04:53,565 --> 00:04:57,397
- Gordon! Lookin' good, buddy.
- I know. I have a mirror!
110
00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:59,863
- (crowd laughing)
- Hey, hey!
111
00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:02,030
G, avoid this game. It hates people.
112
00:05:02,031 --> 00:05:04,464
Doesn't hate me. I have a system.
113
00:05:04,465 --> 00:05:06,763
I take the weight of
the ball and I divide it
114
00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:09,197
by the thread count of
the spinner guy's beard
115
00:05:09,198 --> 00:05:11,530
and then I pick my lucky number...
116
00:05:11,531 --> 00:05:13,398
Red 7!
117
00:05:13,399 --> 00:05:15,079
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
118
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:19,430
- Who cares about Beardy's beard?
- I have a name. Red 7, winner!
119
00:05:19,431 --> 00:05:21,564
(Gordon laughing)
120
00:05:21,565 --> 00:05:24,230
- Thank you, Red Seven!
- Gordon, that's amazing!
121
00:05:24,231 --> 00:05:26,896
All right, let's go again! Hard spin!
122
00:05:26,897 --> 00:05:30,097
Red 23! Come on, Kitty needs a new kidney!
123
00:05:30,098 --> 00:05:33,364
Yeah, I'm putting all my money on Red 23.
124
00:05:33,365 --> 00:05:35,997
Ooh! Black 19!
125
00:05:35,998 --> 00:05:38,197
Kitty gets a pine box!
126
00:05:38,198 --> 00:05:40,464
(crowd laughing)
127
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:44,230
- This is not my day.
- Not Kitty's either. Ha!
128
00:05:44,231 --> 00:05:46,497
Hey, you.
129
00:05:46,498 --> 00:05:49,497
Sorry for punching you earlier,
but you didn't have any sleeves.
130
00:05:49,498 --> 00:05:51,763
- What?
- Nothing. Nothing.
131
00:05:51,764 --> 00:05:55,030
I've always thought anything you
truly want is worth fighting for
132
00:05:55,031 --> 00:05:58,597
so tonight, I'm just gonna go for it.
133
00:05:58,598 --> 00:06:01,637
Beckett, I think I know
what you're getting at.
134
00:06:01,638 --> 00:06:02,397
You do?
135
00:06:02,398 --> 00:06:06,297
And you can dream on, buddy,
because it is never gonna happen!
136
00:06:06,298 --> 00:06:09,464
Okay? You may think you have a chance,
but we're not even in the same league.
137
00:06:09,465 --> 00:06:11,631
I thought that would
have been obvious by now.
138
00:06:11,632 --> 00:06:14,264
(crowd laughing)
139
00:06:16,031 --> 00:06:17,828
I thought the worst she could say was "No."
140
00:06:17,829 --> 00:06:19,664
(crowd laughing)
141
00:06:19,665 --> 00:06:22,464
Mr. Mayor, may I show you to our VIP room.
142
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:25,297
This place sucks! Let's trash it.
143
00:06:25,298 --> 00:06:27,830
Or we could just play Blackjack.
144
00:06:27,831 --> 00:06:29,830
You remember Bryce?
145
00:06:29,831 --> 00:06:33,531
Oh, your boobie's been
on my mind all night.
146
00:06:34,764 --> 00:06:37,130
And on that note, place your bets.
147
00:06:37,131 --> 00:06:38,631
Sure!
148
00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:41,364
Can you spot me some chips?
149
00:06:41,365 --> 00:06:42,863
Of course, why not?
150
00:06:42,864 --> 00:06:45,497
I mean, it's all for a good
cause, assuming you lose.
151
00:06:45,498 --> 00:06:48,465
- I'm going all in!
- Oh, my God...
152
00:06:49,698 --> 00:06:52,063
- Seventeen.
- Hit me.
153
00:06:52,064 --> 00:06:54,631
- Are you sure?
- Hit me or I'll hit you.
154
00:06:54,632 --> 00:06:56,631
(crowd laughing)
155
00:06:56,632 --> 00:06:58,796
- 25. Bust.
- (mayor laughing)
156
00:06:58,797 --> 00:07:01,397
Boobie said bust.
157
00:07:01,398 --> 00:07:03,298
(laughing again)
158
00:07:03,531 --> 00:07:05,997
Hit me.
159
00:07:05,998 --> 00:07:08,530
- (crowd laughing)
- It's all right, Bryce.
160
00:07:08,531 --> 00:07:12,297
Bryce, I've got him covered. Hit him.
161
00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:15,130
- 35.
- Yay! I won!
162
00:07:15,131 --> 00:07:18,364
Oh! I guess... I guess
you did at that, huh?
163
00:07:18,365 --> 00:07:21,144
Now if we could just discuss
representation because I...
164
00:07:21,145 --> 00:07:22,464
Shh! Go play the slots.
165
00:07:22,465 --> 00:07:25,464
You're coolin' the table, honey.
166
00:07:25,465 --> 00:07:27,731
(crowd laughing)
167
00:07:28,998 --> 00:07:32,364
- So?
- Crapped out before I even got the chance.
168
00:07:32,365 --> 00:07:34,564
What?! So you didn't tell her how you feel?
169
00:07:34,565 --> 00:07:37,997
I tried! You weren't there. It was carnage!
170
00:07:37,998 --> 00:07:40,631
- Lost a lot of good men that day.
- (crowd laughing)
171
00:07:40,632 --> 00:07:43,364
You have to take advantage of tonight.
172
00:07:43,365 --> 00:07:47,464
Look at you. You're wearing a tux.
You will never look this good again.
173
00:07:47,465 --> 00:07:51,130
- (crowd laughing)
- What can I get you?
174
00:07:51,131 --> 00:07:53,796
Something to take my mind off my marriage.
175
00:07:53,797 --> 00:07:56,230
- Someone set your car on fire.
- What?!
176
00:07:56,231 --> 00:07:58,551
- You're welcome!
- (crowd laughing)
177
00:07:58,552 --> 00:08:00,297
Just give me a scotch!
178
00:08:00,298 --> 00:08:03,997
- I need to get white-girl wasted.
- (crowd laughing)
179
00:08:06,331 --> 00:08:09,364
Look, I don't want anyone else
to know about my problems, okay?
180
00:08:09,365 --> 00:08:11,664
You can tell me anything, Nelson.
181
00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:14,030
This clearly falls under
bartender-client privilege.
182
00:08:14,031 --> 00:08:17,830
- (crowd laughing)
- He made me choose.
183
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:20,863
He said: my career or my marriage.
184
00:08:20,864 --> 00:08:23,430
I told him: No ultimatums or I'm leaving!
185
00:08:23,431 --> 00:08:25,731
(crowd laughing)
186
00:08:25,732 --> 00:08:27,963
I don't know much about
relationships, Nelson,
187
00:08:27,964 --> 00:08:31,197
but nobody on their deathbed ever
said they wished they worked more.
188
00:08:31,198 --> 00:08:33,664
Most of them must said,
"My God, there's nothing!
189
00:08:33,665 --> 00:08:36,964
- There's absolutely nothing!"
- (crowd laughing)
190
00:08:38,531 --> 00:08:42,597
Hey, good news! My video just
got its one millionth hit!
191
00:08:42,598 --> 00:08:45,564
This is gonna take a while
This is gonna take a while
192
00:08:45,565 --> 00:08:49,264
- Uh, Mr. Mayor?
- (crowd laughing)
193
00:08:49,265 --> 00:08:53,030
- Can we speak?
- Sure. Are we friends?
194
00:08:53,031 --> 00:08:55,997
You know what? I have to at
least tell her how I feel.
195
00:08:55,998 --> 00:08:57,438
- Yes. Yes!
- Okay.
196
00:08:57,439 --> 00:08:58,659
(elevator bell)
197
00:08:58,998 --> 00:09:01,464
Whoo!
198
00:09:01,465 --> 00:09:03,364
It's a stripper, everybody!
199
00:09:03,365 --> 00:09:06,564
- (crowd laughing)
- Show me what you've got!
200
00:09:06,565 --> 00:09:08,796
Nope, I'm an actual cop.
201
00:09:08,797 --> 00:09:11,152
- I'm still curious.
- (crowd laughing)
202
00:09:11,153 --> 00:09:12,264
Whoa, the heat!
203
00:09:12,265 --> 00:09:15,896
I gotta burn some files, destroy
some evidence and log out of MySpace!
204
00:09:15,897 --> 00:09:18,765
- Don't judge me.
- (crowd laughing)
205
00:09:19,998 --> 00:09:21,997
Stephanie, I need to talk to you.
206
00:09:21,998 --> 00:09:23,652
Beckett, get over it!
It's not gonna happen!
207
00:09:23,653 --> 00:09:24,731
Okay.
208
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:26,731
Good evening, officer.
209
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,896
My name is Dave Lyons.
Welcome to my casino.
210
00:09:28,897 --> 00:09:32,030
Oh, thank you. You're under arrest for
operating a casino without a permit.
211
00:09:32,031 --> 00:09:34,063
What?! No, no, I'm sorry,
212
00:09:34,064 --> 00:09:36,079
there must be some sort
of misunderstanding.
213
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:38,252
Nelson, will you please
show this man our permit?
214
00:09:38,253 --> 00:09:39,601
Yeah.
215
00:09:41,632 --> 00:09:44,664
- I would, but I don't have it.
- What?
216
00:09:44,665 --> 00:09:47,697
Well, until I see a permit, this
casino is illegal and nobody leaves.
217
00:09:47,698 --> 00:09:50,497
Hey Dave, it's been a rough
night. Can I just go home?
218
00:09:50,498 --> 00:09:52,364
No! In fact, nobody can.
219
00:09:52,365 --> 00:09:55,063
I need you to guard the elevator to
make sure nobody leaves the building.
220
00:09:55,064 --> 00:09:57,230
And Nelson, I need you to find that permit
221
00:09:57,231 --> 00:09:59,330
before this officer is
arresting me for murder.
222
00:09:59,331 --> 00:10:01,997
- Okay.
- Go!
223
00:10:01,998 --> 00:10:06,530
- Now...
- So, uh, you work on tips, right?
224
00:10:06,531 --> 00:10:08,664
Really not a stripper.
225
00:10:08,665 --> 00:10:11,765
- Oh...
- I don't have the abs for it.
226
00:10:16,455 --> 00:10:17,931
Until I see that permit,
I'm gonna need you
227
00:10:17,932 --> 00:10:20,714
to stay right here,
where I can see you.
228
00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:25,085
What the hell did you think
I was gonna bump my head on?!
229
00:10:25,086 --> 00:10:25,855
(crowd laughing)
230
00:10:25,856 --> 00:10:27,654
Sorry, it's habit.
231
00:10:27,655 --> 00:10:30,055
Dad, the mayor's gone missing. And yes,
232
00:10:30,056 --> 00:10:31,442
I checked the potholes outside.
233
00:10:31,443 --> 00:10:33,821
Sweetheart, I'm just a
little bit busy right now.
234
00:10:33,822 --> 00:10:35,821
- What happened?
- Well...
235
00:10:35,822 --> 00:10:37,730
Oh no, sir. Is this about
the offshore accounts...
236
00:10:37,731 --> 00:10:38,821
NO, NO! Nothing like that.
237
00:10:38,822 --> 00:10:41,383
No. Local affair, local police. Nothing...
238
00:10:41,384 --> 00:10:42,721
Don't worry, sir.
239
00:10:42,722 --> 00:10:45,454
If they send you to
prison, I'll go with you!
240
00:10:45,455 --> 00:10:49,387
We'll wait until it rains and then
we'll dig. The ground's softer then.
241
00:10:49,388 --> 00:10:52,116
Great, if they throw me in the
Shawshank, that'll be lovely.
242
00:10:52,117 --> 00:10:53,247
(crowd laughing)
243
00:10:54,522 --> 00:10:58,088
Look, sweetheart, obviously I'm
not gonna get the $5000 bonus,
244
00:10:58,089 --> 00:11:00,754
so why don't you get out there
and keep it in the family?
245
00:11:00,755 --> 00:11:03,255
Oh yeah, I got this. I'm in it to spin it!
246
00:11:03,256 --> 00:11:07,055
- Ooh, that's good!
- Bryce, find the mayor.
247
00:11:07,056 --> 00:11:09,055
Yes, sir.
248
00:11:09,056 --> 00:11:12,588
Officer, you are aware that all
the proceeds go to charity, right?
249
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,356
Oh yeah? What charity?
250
00:11:15,589 --> 00:11:17,688
(crowd laughing)
251
00:11:18,956 --> 00:11:22,622
- The needy?
- (crowd laughing again)
252
00:11:31,589 --> 00:11:34,055
Mr. Mayor, you don't need to hide.
253
00:11:34,056 --> 00:11:37,387
- The police are not here for you.
- Of course they're not!
254
00:11:37,388 --> 00:11:39,855
There's no video. Not anymore.
255
00:11:39,856 --> 00:11:42,456
(crowd laughing)
256
00:11:44,022 --> 00:11:46,255
So, would you care to join
me in Mr. Lyons office?
257
00:11:46,256 --> 00:11:49,955
I want to do a bit more wagering.
But I don't want to play for money.
258
00:11:49,956 --> 00:11:52,955
I want to play... for that.
259
00:11:52,956 --> 00:11:55,088
- You mean my...
- Oh yeah, that's right.
260
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:57,421
You got a real pretty fanny pack.
261
00:11:57,422 --> 00:12:00,487
- (crowd laughing)
- I'll tell you what.
262
00:12:00,488 --> 00:12:03,094
If you win, the fanny pack is yours.
263
00:12:03,095 --> 00:12:05,837
But if I win, you tell
Dave that Bryce McBradden
264
00:12:05,838 --> 00:12:07,721
brought your business to the company. Deal?
265
00:12:07,722 --> 00:12:10,754
- Deal!
- Name your game!
266
00:12:10,755 --> 00:12:13,322
Blackjack, Texas Hold Em, Five Card Stud?
267
00:12:13,323 --> 00:12:17,421
One, two, three, four,
I declare a thumb war!
268
00:12:17,422 --> 00:12:19,387
(crowd laughing)
269
00:12:19,388 --> 00:12:22,222
Here, try this. The mayor
taught me how to make it.
270
00:12:22,223 --> 00:12:25,055
- It's a Stuffed Ballot Box.
- Hm. What's in it?
271
00:12:25,056 --> 00:12:27,487
It's 2 shots of rum, then
you wipe your fingerprints
272
00:12:27,488 --> 00:12:30,487
off the glass so it can't
be traced back to you.
273
00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:32,621
Gordon, tell me I gave you
the casino permit to file.
274
00:12:32,622 --> 00:12:34,988
Why would you give me the permit to file?
275
00:12:34,989 --> 00:12:36,988
You seem smarter than that.
276
00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:39,955
- (crowd laughing)
- Great, that means I lost it!
277
00:12:39,956 --> 00:12:43,121
Wow! You lost the permit and your husband
278
00:12:43,122 --> 00:12:46,288
- in the same day?
- What?!
279
00:12:46,289 --> 00:12:49,222
I'll explain while we look for the permit.
280
00:12:49,223 --> 00:12:51,855
Hey! What happened to
bartender-client privilege?
281
00:12:51,856 --> 00:12:54,989
- Oh, that's not real.
- (crowd laughing)
282
00:12:56,256 --> 00:12:58,188
You know,
283
00:12:58,189 --> 00:13:02,121
doing time really forces
you to reevaluate your life.
284
00:13:02,122 --> 00:13:05,288
You're not doing time.
You're drinking scotch.
285
00:13:05,289 --> 00:13:08,288
Yeah, by the way, I really
appreciate you letting me do that.
286
00:13:08,289 --> 00:13:09,850
Actually, I asked you
to stop several times.
287
00:13:09,851 --> 00:13:11,487
Oh, come on!
288
00:13:11,488 --> 00:13:14,055
I'm sorry, it's just I'm
worried about my daughter.
289
00:13:14,056 --> 00:13:16,762
I don't think she's prepared
for that train wreck out there.
290
00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:18,489
I don't know, I think
she got a pretty good head
291
00:13:18,490 --> 00:13:20,521
on her shoulders...
and I've got a keen eye.
292
00:13:20,522 --> 00:13:23,055
- Where did you get that?!
- Hmm?
293
00:13:23,056 --> 00:13:26,255
- (crowd laughing)
- Sorry.
294
00:13:26,256 --> 00:13:28,721
You know, Jasper, I like you.
295
00:13:28,722 --> 00:13:32,588
You're a good kid. Even if
you did send me up the river.
296
00:13:32,589 --> 00:13:35,121
You're sitting in a chair
that costs more than my car...
297
00:13:35,122 --> 00:13:38,088
- Where did you get that?!
- (crowd laughing)
298
00:13:38,089 --> 00:13:40,021
Mr. Mayor?
299
00:13:40,022 --> 00:13:42,222
Mr. Mayor, what are you doing?
300
00:13:42,223 --> 00:13:46,188
I just had one of every
appetizer at the same time!
301
00:13:46,189 --> 00:13:47,955
The same time!
302
00:13:47,956 --> 00:13:51,621
Look, you're in a lot of trouble right
now, and we'd like you at our firm.
303
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:54,121
Listen, listen, why don't
you come back to my chopper
304
00:13:54,122 --> 00:13:56,222
and I'll show you how firm I am.
305
00:13:56,223 --> 00:13:57,103
(crowd laughing)
306
00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:59,754
Mr. Mayor, would you please
stop with the innuendo?
307
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:02,588
- I'd like to be in your end-o!
- (crowd laughing)
308
00:14:02,589 --> 00:14:04,955
Seriously? You're hitting on me right now?
309
00:14:04,956 --> 00:14:08,521
You're the number one man in the city and
you were caught on camera doing number two!
310
00:14:08,522 --> 00:14:11,088
- Hey, everybody poops.
- (crowd laughing)
311
00:14:11,089 --> 00:14:13,398
Instead of standing there
with that smug smile,
312
00:14:13,399 --> 00:14:15,387
you should be begging me to get you off!
313
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:18,554
- I'm begging you. Get me off!
- No! Hey, no!
314
00:14:18,555 --> 00:14:21,721
(mayor moaning in pain and crowd laughing)
315
00:14:21,722 --> 00:14:24,655
- Right in the constituents!
- (crowd laughing again)
316
00:14:28,922 --> 00:14:31,588
- What are you doing?
- Guarding the elevator.
317
00:14:31,589 --> 00:14:35,222
- Oh! From what?
- (sighing): I don't know.
318
00:14:35,223 --> 00:14:39,055
It made a lot more sense a
few drinks ago. How 'bout you?
319
00:14:39,056 --> 00:14:41,055
Well...
320
00:14:41,056 --> 00:14:43,188
I kicked the mayor in the balls.
321
00:14:43,189 --> 00:14:46,621
- That's one way to cast your vote.
- Yeah.
322
00:14:46,622 --> 00:14:49,554
I know I said you didn't
have a chance with the mayor,
323
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:52,088
but now, thanks to me, nobody does.
324
00:14:52,089 --> 00:14:54,721
Wait, when you said I didn't have a chance,
325
00:14:54,722 --> 00:14:57,055
you were talking about with the mayor?
326
00:14:57,056 --> 00:14:59,889
Yeah. Who else would I be talking about?
327
00:15:01,122 --> 00:15:03,487
- Nobody.
- (clearing her throat)
328
00:15:03,488 --> 00:15:06,554
You know, I got kicked in the balls once.
329
00:15:06,555 --> 00:15:09,121
Ah, you're just saying
that to make me feel better.
330
00:15:09,122 --> 00:15:12,222
No. No, no, it's true.
You remember these things.
331
00:15:12,223 --> 00:15:14,754
It was 3rd grade.
332
00:15:14,755 --> 00:15:17,021
Her name was Sarah Miller.
333
00:15:17,022 --> 00:15:19,988
- Ah! I had the hugest...
- Boner?
334
00:15:19,989 --> 00:15:23,888
- (crowd laughing)
- What?! No.
335
00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:26,788
- I was 8, you perv!
- Yeah. Pff!
336
00:15:26,789 --> 00:15:30,288
- I had the hugest crush.
- Right.
337
00:15:30,289 --> 00:15:34,188
It had just snowed, so I
thought that I would show
338
00:15:34,189 --> 00:15:38,121
my affection by packing snow
down the back of her shirt.
339
00:15:38,122 --> 00:15:39,093
(Stephanie laughing)
340
00:15:39,094 --> 00:15:41,121
Went in for what I thought would be a kiss.
341
00:15:41,122 --> 00:15:44,487
Instead, I got a kick. Right
in my little bean purse.
342
00:15:44,488 --> 00:15:47,155
(laughing again)
343
00:15:47,156 --> 00:15:49,721
Why didn't you just say "I like you"?
344
00:15:49,722 --> 00:15:51,621
It's not that simple.
345
00:15:51,622 --> 00:15:54,955
I mean, we had to see each other
every day at work... Uh, work?
346
00:15:54,956 --> 00:15:57,256
Wh... School.
347
00:15:59,388 --> 00:16:01,508
And then, after that,
I never got the chance.
348
00:16:01,509 --> 00:16:02,387
How come?
349
00:16:02,388 --> 00:16:05,721
- She was arrested immediately for arson.
- What?!
350
00:16:05,722 --> 00:16:09,454
Yeah, she was a nasty girl who got a
sex change and grew up to be Gary Busey.
351
00:16:09,455 --> 00:16:12,089
(crowd laughing)
352
00:16:13,289 --> 00:16:16,955
- (Stephanie laughing)
- Or so I think. I don't know.
353
00:16:18,388 --> 00:16:21,821
Oh, it's a great story, Beckett. Thank you.
354
00:16:21,822 --> 00:16:25,288
Listen, Stephanie, there's
something I want to tell you...
355
00:16:25,289 --> 00:16:28,688
Stephanie, you're needed in
your father's office immediately.
356
00:16:28,689 --> 00:16:30,989
(crowd laughing)
357
00:16:33,522 --> 00:16:37,387
Yup. Well, there comes a
day in every girl's life
358
00:16:37,388 --> 00:16:40,188
where she's got to tell her daddy
she kicked the mayor in the nards.
359
00:16:40,189 --> 00:16:43,088
- (crowd laughing)
- Beckett,
360
00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:44,588
Nelson really needs you.
361
00:16:44,589 --> 00:16:46,788
I have to guard the elevator. Take my post?
362
00:16:46,789 --> 00:16:48,664
- Is there any champagne left?
- Yeah, half bottle.
363
00:16:48,665 --> 00:16:50,754
(both): Okay.
364
00:16:50,755 --> 00:16:54,754
- (crowd laughing)
- Hey.
365
00:16:54,755 --> 00:16:56,387
What's going on?
366
00:16:56,388 --> 00:16:59,988
Um, my marriage is over.
367
00:16:59,989 --> 00:17:03,121
What?! I'm so sorry, man.
368
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:04,955
How's Graham taking it?
369
00:17:04,956 --> 00:17:08,255
No, um, he left me.
370
00:17:08,256 --> 00:17:09,855
That's not what you told me.
371
00:17:09,856 --> 00:17:11,921
- Shut up, Gordon.
- Okay.
372
00:17:11,922 --> 00:17:15,721
- (crowd laughing)
- I... I shoulda told you, I know.
373
00:17:15,722 --> 00:17:17,565
But I just kept thinking
that he'd come back
374
00:17:17,566 --> 00:17:19,381
and kinda spare me the embarrassment.
375
00:17:20,689 --> 00:17:23,387
You know, it's funny, um, I miss him,
376
00:17:23,388 --> 00:17:26,088
but I kinda miss the things about him more.
377
00:17:26,089 --> 00:17:29,354
You know, like, uh, he
always knew what puff
378
00:17:29,355 --> 00:17:33,322
went with what tie, even
without looking in my closet.
379
00:17:35,156 --> 00:17:36,654
Or, uh...
380
00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:40,423
how he always knew how to make
a perfect Harvey Wallbanger.
381
00:17:42,989 --> 00:17:46,121
- Ah, son of a bitch!
- No, it's good, let it out, let it out.
382
00:17:46,122 --> 00:17:48,288
No, no! It's the permit, Beckett.
383
00:17:48,289 --> 00:17:51,722
I wrote the recipe for the Harvey
Wallbanger down on it at Manion's!
384
00:17:52,956 --> 00:17:54,955
Permit now. Graham later.
385
00:17:54,956 --> 00:17:57,088
Okay.
386
00:17:57,089 --> 00:17:59,322
That's so sad!
387
00:17:59,323 --> 00:18:01,688
He's got to go all the way to Manion's
388
00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:04,487
and I know how to make a Harvey Wallbanger!
389
00:18:04,488 --> 00:18:06,755
(crowd laughing)
390
00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:10,188
So, let me get this straight.
391
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:12,688
You were showing this
young woman how delicious
392
00:18:12,689 --> 00:18:16,222
the hors d'oeuvres were
when she "drop-kicked your
393
00:18:16,223 --> 00:18:18,288
majestic marbles"?
394
00:18:18,289 --> 00:18:20,654
Honourable majestic marbles.
395
00:18:20,655 --> 00:18:22,788
That is not true! He grabbed me!
396
00:18:22,789 --> 00:18:24,288
Ma'am, you'll get your chance.
397
00:18:24,289 --> 00:18:27,021
Yeah, but you lost your
chance with me, Miss Thing!
398
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:29,021
(crowd laughing)
399
00:18:29,022 --> 00:18:30,921
Hey, boss!
400
00:18:30,922 --> 00:18:33,222
I found the permit. It was my fault.
401
00:18:33,223 --> 00:18:35,788
My marriage is falling apart and
my head's been kinda elsewhere.
402
00:18:35,789 --> 00:18:38,188
- Ah well, don't give it a second thought.
- So you forgive me?
403
00:18:38,189 --> 00:18:40,487
No, your marriage. Don't give
your marriage a second thought.
404
00:18:40,488 --> 00:18:42,821
- (crowd luahging)
- Thanks, Chief.
405
00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,806
Hey, have we landed you as a client yet?
406
00:18:44,807 --> 00:18:48,654
Nelson, you're on kinda thin ice right now.
Why don't you wade your way back to shore?
407
00:18:48,655 --> 00:18:51,721
- (crowd laughing)
- So...
408
00:18:51,722 --> 00:18:54,255
I've decided to go with your firm,
409
00:18:54,256 --> 00:18:56,855
as long as you fire your daughter.
410
00:18:56,856 --> 00:18:59,155
It's okay, dad, I understand.
411
00:18:59,156 --> 00:19:02,521
- Business is business.
- Stephanie, stay right where you are.
412
00:19:02,522 --> 00:19:05,521
And you, get the hell out of my building!
413
00:19:05,522 --> 00:19:07,921
And you might want to take
the elevator down because
414
00:19:07,922 --> 00:19:11,521
your helicopter has been towed
by my much larger helicopter.
415
00:19:11,522 --> 00:19:14,421
You can't do that! I'm the mayor!
416
00:19:14,422 --> 00:19:17,406
Yeah? Well I'm Dave Lyons. Oh,
and Officer, here are your cuffs.
417
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:20,487
- How'd you do that?
- I can dislocate my thumbs.
418
00:19:20,488 --> 00:19:23,654
- (crowd laughing)
- I'll show you out.
419
00:19:23,655 --> 00:19:26,821
And this is not a shoulder
pack, you philistine!
420
00:19:26,822 --> 00:19:27,640
(crowd laughing)
421
00:19:27,641 --> 00:19:30,821
Oh, ma'am, I'm gonna have to
ask you a couple more questions.
422
00:19:30,822 --> 00:19:34,121
Wow. If you really are a stripper, now
would be a good time to yell, "Hit it!"
423
00:19:34,122 --> 00:19:37,088
(laughing) Oh, I...
424
00:19:37,089 --> 00:19:39,521
Just kidding. I'm not a stripper.
425
00:19:39,522 --> 00:19:42,788
Oh! Right. (sighing in relief)
426
00:19:42,789 --> 00:19:45,121
So, as soon as she walks out of that door,
427
00:19:45,122 --> 00:19:47,487
- you're going to do it, right?
- (sighing)
428
00:19:47,488 --> 00:19:50,621
It's all about the timing, and
the timing is finally right.
429
00:19:50,622 --> 00:19:52,454
(together): War.
430
00:19:52,455 --> 00:19:55,155
One, two, three, bam!
431
00:19:55,156 --> 00:19:58,354
King o' Hearts! If that's not a sign...
432
00:19:58,355 --> 00:20:01,489
What am I waiting for? I'm goin' in.
433
00:20:06,388 --> 00:20:10,622
You don't need my
permission. But you've got it.
434
00:20:13,256 --> 00:20:15,255
(Stephanie laughing)
435
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:17,588
All you wanted was to ask me for coffee?
436
00:20:17,589 --> 00:20:19,921
I thought I was gonna
get arrested or something.
437
00:20:19,922 --> 00:20:23,454
I know, that was the fun part.
And legally you had to stay.
438
00:20:23,455 --> 00:20:25,788
All right, guys. I'm gonna
go for coffee with Jasper.
439
00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:28,055
- Have a good night.
- Good night, sweetheart.
440
00:20:28,056 --> 00:20:31,222
Oh, Beckett. In the elevator,
you wanted to tell me something?
441
00:20:31,223 --> 00:20:33,322
Yeah.
442
00:20:36,189 --> 00:20:38,456
Um...
443
00:20:39,689 --> 00:20:41,821
You look beautiful.
444
00:20:41,822 --> 00:20:43,588
(crowd going "Aw!")
445
00:20:43,589 --> 00:20:46,489
Thank you.
446
00:20:51,455 --> 00:20:53,888
She tugged my sleeve! Did you see that?!
447
00:20:53,889 --> 00:20:57,189
- I saw!
- Who's the man? You're the man!
448
00:21:00,122 --> 00:21:02,555
(crowd laughing)
449
00:21:02,810 --> 00:21:06,688
Things were much simpler on the inside.
450
00:21:10,432 --> 00:21:13,297
So you think it meant something? The tug?
451
00:21:13,298 --> 00:21:16,284
Beckett, when you and I were dating,
452
00:21:16,285 --> 00:21:17,818
we were like here.
453
00:21:17,819 --> 00:21:20,818
You know, no matter how hard we
tried, we couldn't get to here.
454
00:21:20,819 --> 00:21:23,018
But when I see you with Stephanie,
455
00:21:23,019 --> 00:21:26,018
you guys are past here and
you're like way up there!
456
00:21:26,019 --> 00:21:29,722
Seriously, one day she is going to
come knocking at that door and she...
457
00:21:29,723 --> 00:21:30,370
(knocking at the door)
458
00:21:30,371 --> 00:21:33,151
Really? Right in the
middle of an awesome story.
459
00:21:33,152 --> 00:21:35,484
(crowd laughing)
460
00:21:35,485 --> 00:21:38,451
Hey, uh, is it all right if
I move in for a little while?
461
00:21:38,452 --> 00:21:41,085
I can't cook or clean, but um,
462
00:21:41,086 --> 00:21:44,818
- I look great in my underwear.
- (crowd laughing)
463
00:21:44,819 --> 00:21:47,551
You guys are the best! The rest
of the suits are on their way.
464
00:21:47,552 --> 00:21:49,319
(crowd laughing)
465
00:21:50,552 --> 00:21:54,217
- To best friends.
- They're the only kind of friends to have.
466
00:21:54,218 --> 00:21:56,485
Hell yeah!
467
00:21:57,919 --> 00:21:59,918
Ah!
468
00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:02,185
Okay, we have some ground rules.
469
00:22:02,186 --> 00:22:03,841
(crowd laughing)
470
00:22:03,842 --> 00:22:07,113
Nobody on their death bed ever
said they wished they worked more.
471
00:22:07,114 --> 00:22:10,249
Most of them just said
"Gordon plug that back in!"
472
00:22:10,262 --> 00:22:11,550
(crowd laughing)
473
00:22:11,778 --> 00:22:14,090
- You're okay.
- I'm all right.
474
00:22:15,283 --> 00:22:17,719
- My work is very important to me.
- I'm not ready.
475
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,176
- No, you're not.
- (crowd laughing)
476
00:22:19,376 --> 00:22:24,576
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00:22:24,626 --> 00:22:29,176
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