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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,567 --> 00:00:05,466 All right, everybody back. Wounded commander coming through. 2 00:00:05,467 --> 00:00:08,066 Oh, come on, Bryce. It's nothing. Just guide me 3 00:00:08,067 --> 00:00:11,267 to my office through the blinding white pain where I will quietly die. 4 00:00:11,268 --> 00:00:14,033 - Dad, what happened? - He was playing in the firm's 5 00:00:14,034 --> 00:00:17,000 celebrity golf tournament and there was a 3-wood accident 6 00:00:17,001 --> 00:00:19,499 - on the 14th hole. - Oh, that was no accident. 7 00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:21,499 Wayne Gretzky did that deliberately. 8 00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:26,133 Said I looked at his daughter funny. I did. 9 00:00:26,134 --> 00:00:28,933 - Sir, you really should go home. - I can't. 10 00:00:28,934 --> 00:00:32,432 The McSchnitzels from Germany are coming in today. Do you know how many Oktoberfests 11 00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:36,599 and Kraftwerk tribute bands I had to sit through to get a chance at this account? 12 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,933 Oh, Jane Fonda, that hurts! 13 00:00:39,934 --> 00:00:41,799 Jane Fonda? 14 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,166 Yeah, it's a condition. Whenever he's in intense pain, 15 00:00:44,167 --> 00:00:47,200 he screams out the name of female stars he has the hots for. 16 00:00:47,201 --> 00:00:49,766 Yeah, but don't worry. I can work through the pain. 17 00:00:49,767 --> 00:00:52,666 Oh... Courtney Cox! 18 00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:55,933 When I was 10, I dropped a bowling ball on his toe, 19 00:00:55,934 --> 00:00:58,566 and my entire birthday party heard him scream out, 20 00:00:58,567 --> 00:01:03,133 "Goldie Hawn on a pogo stick!" Ugh. 21 00:01:03,134 --> 00:01:04,833 Wow, that was great. 22 00:01:04,834 --> 00:01:06,599 Now get Dave to say, 23 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:10,699 "Roseanne Barr on a trampoline!" 24 00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:14,267 Fill the lens 25 00:01:14,268 --> 00:01:16,200 With all your friends 26 00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:22,833 Oh now is forever 27 00:01:22,834 --> 00:01:25,733 Come on fill the lens 28 00:01:25,734 --> 00:01:27,967 With all your friends 29 00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:30,614 Subtitles by awaqeded ---- addic7ed.com ---- 30 00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:34,433 Wow. You're late for work. 31 00:01:34,434 --> 00:01:36,366 Yeah, because I couldn't find any clean underwear. 32 00:01:36,367 --> 00:01:38,600 Not even the pair that says, "perfect ass". 33 00:01:38,601 --> 00:01:41,133 Yeah, I'm actually wearing those. At least on me 34 00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:43,433 someone's gonna get a chance to see them. 35 00:01:43,434 --> 00:01:45,199 Stop taking my underwear, 36 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,600 and stay away from my laundry quarters. 37 00:01:47,601 --> 00:01:49,767 - I paid you back. - Yes, but the washing machine 38 00:01:49,768 --> 00:01:51,733 wouldn't accept your post-dated cheque. 39 00:01:51,734 --> 00:01:54,600 Well, you better wish me luck, 40 00:01:54,601 --> 00:01:57,566 because I am going down to face the lint monster. 41 00:01:57,567 --> 00:01:59,099 Lint monster? 42 00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:01,099 There's this one pig who has a plot 43 00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:03,500 to never clean out the lint trap. It's this creepy shade 44 00:02:03,501 --> 00:02:04,999 of Cheeto-fingers orange. 45 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:08,666 Wait... have you tried calling the laundry police? 46 00:02:08,667 --> 00:02:12,166 Oh, wait, they don't exist, because that's just crazy. 47 00:02:12,167 --> 00:02:15,099 Mock me all you want, but I am not letting this go, Beckett. 48 00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:17,133 The lint monster will be defeated. 49 00:02:17,134 --> 00:02:20,467 Well, I'm off to face the subway minotaur. 50 00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:26,433 Hey, man! How's my favourite 51 00:02:26,434 --> 00:02:28,899 charming most-handsome writer today? 52 00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:31,199 He's having trust issues because he has friend 53 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:34,733 who sucks up to him every time he wants him to do something. 54 00:02:34,734 --> 00:02:38,233 I'm speaking at our old HS... that's short for high school. 55 00:02:38,234 --> 00:02:39,733 Sure. 56 00:02:39,734 --> 00:02:41,899 And I, uh, need you to write me a speech. 57 00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:44,466 Something... languagey. 58 00:02:44,467 --> 00:02:47,966 - You know that's not a word? - I did not. 59 00:02:47,967 --> 00:02:50,324 - I don't know, man. I'm pretty busy. - Oh, come on! 60 00:02:50,325 --> 00:02:51,944 You remember in the 10th grade when you forgot 61 00:02:51,945 --> 00:02:54,166 your sandwich and I gave you half of mine? 62 00:02:54,167 --> 00:02:56,466 And you said, "Thanks, I owe ya". 63 00:02:56,467 --> 00:03:00,366 Damn it. I knew that was gonna come back to bite me in the ass. 64 00:03:00,367 --> 00:03:04,333 Now, I want this speech to be called... Iron Man. 65 00:03:04,334 --> 00:03:05,932 I think that's already taken. 66 00:03:05,933 --> 00:03:08,999 OK, then Iron Man 2. Just make me sound awesome! 67 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:13,932 Sweet Valerie Bertinelli! 68 00:03:13,933 --> 00:03:15,433 What's going on with your dad? 69 00:03:15,434 --> 00:03:18,066 Ugh, he's a stubborn idiot who won't take painkillers 70 00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:20,433 because he's afraid it'll "put him off his game". 71 00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:23,999 Oh. Well, if his game is Random Celebrity Shout-out, 72 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,266 don't worry, he's way ahead on points. 73 00:03:26,267 --> 00:03:29,867 - Parker Posey! - Ding! 74 00:03:29,868 --> 00:03:33,999 Anyway, he refuses to take his medication, so I had to find another way to help him. 75 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,299 Frozen yogurt 76 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:39,733 - with Demerol happy sprinkles. - Oh. 77 00:03:39,734 --> 00:03:41,899 It's a shame they don't have a Hallmark card 78 00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:44,633 for the first time a daughter dopes up her dad. 79 00:03:44,634 --> 00:03:46,133 (She laughs.) 80 00:03:46,134 --> 00:03:49,500 Who said it was the first time? 81 00:03:49,501 --> 00:03:51,800 - (Dave groaning) - Hey, Dad. 82 00:03:51,801 --> 00:03:54,133 - Hey. - How are you feeling? 83 00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,066 I've shouted out the name of every guest star 84 00:03:56,067 --> 00:04:01,600 from The Love Boat, including Charo twice. 85 00:04:01,601 --> 00:04:03,800 But look, if you're here to try and talk me into taking 86 00:04:03,801 --> 00:04:06,700 some sort of medication, just forget about it, all right? 87 00:04:06,701 --> 00:04:09,266 I'm not gonna do it. Dave Lyons is a warrior, 88 00:04:09,267 --> 00:04:11,833 a fighter, the manliest of men! 89 00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:13,833 Oh! Frozen yogurt with white chocolate sprinkles! 90 00:04:13,834 --> 00:04:16,500 Gimme, gimme, gimme! Gimme. Ohhh. 91 00:04:16,501 --> 00:04:19,867 Oh, I love frozen yogurt. Ah... 92 00:04:19,868 --> 00:04:21,700 Ah... Ahhh! 93 00:04:21,701 --> 00:04:25,299 Katie Couric! Oh! 94 00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:28,233 Mmm! Oh, this is so good. 95 00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:31,099 It's like I'm getting butterfly kisses on my brain. 96 00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:34,233 Oh-ho-ho, this is better than drugs. 97 00:04:34,234 --> 00:04:36,266 Or exactly as good. 98 00:04:36,267 --> 00:04:38,299 Mmm. 99 00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:41,400 Anyway, I'm working on entrance walks for my speech. 100 00:04:41,401 --> 00:04:45,066 Which one do you like best? There's the wink and then the point. 101 00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:48,333 Then there's the point and then the wink. 102 00:04:48,334 --> 00:04:50,899 (cell phone ringing) 103 00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:52,932 Hey, Abby. What's up? 104 00:04:52,933 --> 00:04:54,433 Oh, thank God you answered. 105 00:04:54,434 --> 00:04:56,500 We're practicing entrance walks over here. 106 00:04:56,501 --> 00:04:59,867 There's the wink and the gangster strut. 107 00:05:03,734 --> 00:05:05,233 [Beckett,] 108 00:05:05,234 --> 00:05:07,034 The lint monster is back! 109 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,500 Uh, yes. And unlike every other monster 110 00:05:14,501 --> 00:05:18,166 in the history of fiction, its one weakness is cleaning the lint trap. Bye-bye. 111 00:05:18,167 --> 00:05:20,266 [It is about more than that, Beckett.] 112 00:05:20,267 --> 00:05:22,966 It is about disrespect. Disrespecting your neighbours. 113 00:05:22,967 --> 00:05:25,867 And plus, it is just... yuck! 114 00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,966 There's, like, the wink and then the gun. 115 00:05:27,967 --> 00:05:30,199 Then there's, like, the wink and then the nod. 116 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,700 What's up? 117 00:05:31,701 --> 00:05:34,733 Look, Abby, I have very important work to do over here. 118 00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:37,299 Hey, you got any without the wink? 119 00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:39,366 The wink is the glue. 120 00:05:39,367 --> 00:05:41,833 Have you never walked in anywhere? 121 00:05:41,834 --> 00:05:43,633 [Please, Beckett,] 122 00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:45,333 I can't do this alone. 123 00:05:45,334 --> 00:05:48,600 All right, fine. Hey, Gordon, what are you doing right now? 124 00:05:48,601 --> 00:05:51,966 Right now? Watching Nelson walk. 125 00:05:51,967 --> 00:05:53,466 When he winks, 126 00:05:53,467 --> 00:05:55,633 I feel like I'm in on something. 127 00:05:55,634 --> 00:05:57,700 Can you go and help my roommate? 128 00:05:57,701 --> 00:06:00,932 Abby has this crazy lint conspiracy thing going on. 129 00:06:00,933 --> 00:06:03,533 - Belly button lint? - Dryer. 130 00:06:03,534 --> 00:06:06,767 It's not my area of lint-spertise. 131 00:06:06,768 --> 00:06:11,166 But I love a challenge. 132 00:06:11,167 --> 00:06:15,366 OK, lint specialist on the way. Good luck. 133 00:06:15,367 --> 00:06:17,099 Any update on sir? 134 00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:19,600 Oh, my Shakira! 135 00:06:19,601 --> 00:06:21,467 He's not great. 136 00:06:24,367 --> 00:06:27,968 Drastic times call for drastic measures. 137 00:06:30,367 --> 00:06:32,966 Ah, Geena Davis, somebody kill me! 138 00:06:32,967 --> 00:06:36,867 Sir, I hate to see you like this. Will you please take a painkiller? 139 00:06:36,868 --> 00:06:40,133 Why is everybody around here trying to coddle me, all right? 140 00:06:40,134 --> 00:06:42,133 I can play through the pain. For God's sakes, 141 00:06:42,134 --> 00:06:44,500 I won the Tour de France 7 times in a row 142 00:06:44,501 --> 00:06:46,767 without taking drugs! 143 00:06:48,534 --> 00:06:50,700 I believe that was Lance Armstrong. 144 00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:54,566 Oh, that's probably why they took back my medals. 145 00:06:54,567 --> 00:06:57,833 Ah! David Bowie! 146 00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:00,066 What? The man is beautiful! 147 00:07:00,067 --> 00:07:02,867 - Oh, oh! Sir. - What? 148 00:07:02,868 --> 00:07:05,767 Were you gargling with hotdog water? 149 00:07:05,768 --> 00:07:07,899 - Is it bad? - Uh-huh. 150 00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:11,600 I can't tell if I have bad breath, or if my hand stinks. 151 00:07:11,601 --> 00:07:14,533 Well, maybe just to be sure, why don't you have a mint? 152 00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:17,433 Oh, good idea. OK. 153 00:07:17,434 --> 00:07:19,500 A mint! A mint! I said have A mint! 154 00:07:19,501 --> 00:07:21,467 I'll pay you for them! 155 00:07:23,768 --> 00:07:28,066 Spotted the hipster in 415. He only wears plaid, 156 00:07:28,067 --> 00:07:31,932 so it can't be him. OK, that leaves it down to... 157 00:07:31,933 --> 00:07:33,566 pretentious film student, 158 00:07:33,567 --> 00:07:37,932 or hairy guy with bike clips on his pants. 159 00:07:37,933 --> 00:07:39,533 (knocking on door) 160 00:07:39,534 --> 00:07:41,867 - Who is it? - Gordon Woolmer. 161 00:07:41,868 --> 00:07:44,034 I'm here about the lint. 162 00:07:45,801 --> 00:07:48,466 Get inside. It is not safe to talk out there! 163 00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:50,433 It isn't? I just did! 164 00:07:50,434 --> 00:07:52,899 Oh, my God. I'm doing it again. 165 00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:54,968 I'm doomed! 166 00:07:56,701 --> 00:07:58,767 It's pretty good. 167 00:07:58,768 --> 00:08:01,333 I don't get the opening joke, though. 168 00:08:01,334 --> 00:08:03,701 That's just you saying you're happy to be there. 169 00:08:05,467 --> 00:08:07,533 OK. Now I get it. 170 00:08:07,534 --> 00:08:10,899 That IS funny! Ah! 171 00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:14,932 OK, about the speech, um... very compelling. 172 00:08:14,933 --> 00:08:19,099 What a variety of, uh... words. 173 00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:20,500 So, you really like it? 174 00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:23,066 Well, you think it might be a bit, uh... 175 00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:26,133 Hmm, what's the word? Braggydoshish? 176 00:08:26,134 --> 00:08:30,867 Uh... nope, that's not the word... or even a word. 177 00:08:30,868 --> 00:08:33,400 Anyway, I'm gonna need you to do a whole other pass here. 178 00:08:33,401 --> 00:08:36,500 Really? 'Cause I kinda feel like I nailed it. 179 00:08:36,501 --> 00:08:38,800 (Nelson laughs.) You did not. 180 00:08:38,801 --> 00:08:41,357 OK, well, I have a lot of work to do, so... 181 00:08:41,383 --> 00:08:42,867 Oh, but you have time 182 00:08:42,868 --> 00:08:45,966 to mooch half my veal sandwich in the 10th grade? 183 00:08:45,967 --> 00:08:49,367 I can't wait to read it when it's good! 184 00:08:51,134 --> 00:08:53,666 OK, the Germans will be here soon, and my dad 185 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:57,233 - is finally ready to go. - Yep, he's primed for action. 186 00:08:57,234 --> 00:09:00,299 - Thanks to me. - Yep, thanks to... What? 187 00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:03,400 I sprinkled a double dose of pain killers on his frozen yogurt. 188 00:09:03,401 --> 00:09:07,032 You ninny! Medicating your father is my job. 189 00:09:07,033 --> 00:09:09,333 I gave him pain killers and told him they were breath mints! 190 00:09:09,334 --> 00:09:10,101 You what?! 191 00:09:10,127 --> 00:09:13,192 He's going to be stoned like a biblical whore. 192 00:09:17,367 --> 00:09:20,666 Oh, my God, we're too late. 193 00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:22,299 Hey, sugar pumpkin. 194 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:24,400 Oh, and hi, Stephanie. 195 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,966 Why is my desk on the wall? 196 00:09:29,967 --> 00:09:34,233 Sir, the McSchnitzels will be here in 15 minutes! 197 00:09:34,234 --> 00:09:38,333 - No way that's a real name. - You've got to pull yourself together! 198 00:09:38,334 --> 00:09:41,032 I'm fine, I'm fine. I feel good. 199 00:09:41,033 --> 00:09:43,032 Dad, are you sure you don't want me to handle this? 200 00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:46,600 Oh, don't be silly, butter eyes. 201 00:09:46,601 --> 00:09:49,133 I told you I can work through the pain. 202 00:09:49,134 --> 00:09:53,233 Although there's this weird thing: I can see around corners now. 203 00:09:55,534 --> 00:09:58,999 That's because Bryce slipped painkillers into your breath mints. 204 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,999 No, it's because Stephanie sprinkled painkillers onto your yogurt! 205 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:05,166 Oh, might be because I've been self-medicating with whiskey all day. 206 00:10:05,167 --> 00:10:07,500 - You have? - Of course I have! 207 00:10:07,501 --> 00:10:10,466 How do you think I was going to work through the pain? Strength of character? 208 00:10:10,467 --> 00:10:12,899 All right, Bryce, we're gonna need coffee... strong coffee. 209 00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:16,867 I'm talking mother-lifting- a-car-off-her-baby strong. All right, 210 00:10:16,868 --> 00:10:18,400 let's see. Let's see. 211 00:10:18,401 --> 00:10:21,500 If we add together the potency of the drugs and the alcohol, 212 00:10:21,501 --> 00:10:22,999 subtract the caffeine, 213 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,333 take into account the speed of my blood flow, 214 00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:27,999 I think I should have about 45 minutes 215 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,899 before I pass out for the next 72 hours. 216 00:10:30,900 --> 00:10:33,433 OK, then, no, that's perfect. That gives you just enough time 217 00:10:33,434 --> 00:10:35,433 to land the client, and then you can take 3 days off. 218 00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:37,600 - Yes, exactly. - Here you go, sir. 219 00:10:37,601 --> 00:10:39,633 - Ah, thank you, Bryce. - (phone ringing) 220 00:10:39,634 --> 00:10:41,600 Oh, hold on. Oh. Hello? Yeah, this is Dave Lyons. 221 00:10:41,601 --> 00:10:43,855 Oh. Oh, no, that's fine. No, that's perfectly 222 00:10:43,856 --> 00:10:46,867 understandable. Well, we'll see you then. 223 00:10:46,868 --> 00:10:49,500 That was the Germans. They're stuck in traffic. 224 00:10:49,501 --> 00:10:52,333 They're going to be an hour late. 225 00:10:52,334 --> 00:10:57,266 I can't help but feel that secretly drugging you was partly our fault. 226 00:10:57,267 --> 00:10:59,266 Oh, sweetie, don't worry about it. 227 00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:01,733 You know what? This kind of reminds me of that time 228 00:11:01,734 --> 00:11:04,666 that you and Bryce drugged my frozen yogurt 229 00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:07,833 and my mints, and those Germans were coming. 230 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:11,133 Man, if we could get through a zany caper like that, 231 00:11:11,134 --> 00:11:13,099 we can get through anything. 232 00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:16,267 No, Dad, that's all happening right now. 233 00:11:16,298 --> 00:11:19,172 Oh... we're doomed. 234 00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:25,233 Do not fall asleep. You cannot fall asleep! 235 00:11:25,234 --> 00:11:27,233 It's a no-go on rescheduling the meeting. 236 00:11:27,234 --> 00:11:29,566 The McSchnitzels won't be our way for another 6 months. 237 00:11:29,567 --> 00:11:32,866 Aww, baby, I am so proud of you. 238 00:11:32,867 --> 00:11:35,133 Daddy loves you. 239 00:11:35,134 --> 00:11:38,632 Daddy loves his baby girl. 240 00:11:38,633 --> 00:11:40,666 Ah. 241 00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:44,300 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Bryce. 242 00:11:44,301 --> 00:11:47,933 I can't feel my face! 243 00:11:47,934 --> 00:11:50,233 Get somebody in here to find out if I still have a face. 244 00:11:50,234 --> 00:11:51,933 Yes, I'll get right on that, sir. 245 00:11:51,934 --> 00:11:53,800 Yes. Yes, let's get right on that. 246 00:11:58,101 --> 00:12:00,133 Here it is. I went back, 247 00:12:00,134 --> 00:12:02,933 did some rewrites, added some jokes, 248 00:12:02,934 --> 00:12:05,634 had a little fun with it. I think you'll like it. 249 00:12:07,401 --> 00:12:10,467 Yeah, listen. Um, I think I'm gonna hand it over 250 00:12:10,468 --> 00:12:12,733 to this guy for some punch-up. 251 00:12:12,734 --> 00:12:16,467 A, that's a little insulting. You don't even know his name. 252 00:12:16,468 --> 00:12:19,367 And B, Glasses here is our accountant. 253 00:12:21,434 --> 00:12:25,233 I thought Crocs and Dress Socks was our accountant. 254 00:12:25,234 --> 00:12:28,200 You know what? Go ahead, give it to Glasses. 255 00:12:28,201 --> 00:12:31,499 I don't care. You can give it to Crocs and Dress Socks, Spits When He Talks, 256 00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:33,499 or Farts When She Walks, because I'm done! 257 00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:35,733 All right, come on! 258 00:12:35,734 --> 00:12:37,599 Hang on a second. 259 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,599 What about that time in college 260 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,599 when I brought home that pizza and I hooked up you with a slice 261 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:45,566 and you said, "Thanks, I owe ya"? I don't remember getting a slice back. 262 00:12:45,567 --> 00:12:47,866 All right, you get one more draft, and then when I'm done, 263 00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:50,900 I am clear of all food-related debt. 264 00:12:52,633 --> 00:12:54,367 Hey, Questlove. 265 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,133 How are you at writing speeches? 266 00:12:59,134 --> 00:13:01,499 I can't try, but I haven't written a speech 267 00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:05,434 since my valedictorian address at Harvard. 268 00:13:07,434 --> 00:13:11,534 Really sounds like more of a job for Glasses over there. 269 00:13:14,334 --> 00:13:16,433 The monster is in the trap. 270 00:13:16,434 --> 00:13:18,566 Repeat: the monster is in the trap. 271 00:13:18,567 --> 00:13:20,799 [The mustard is on the shirt.] 272 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,166 [Repeat: the mustard is on the shirt.] 273 00:13:23,167 --> 00:13:25,632 - What's that code for? - Code? 274 00:13:25,633 --> 00:13:28,833 I got mustard on my shirt! 275 00:13:28,834 --> 00:13:31,400 Damn it, Gordon! You made me take my eyes off of him! 276 00:13:31,401 --> 00:13:34,666 Oh. 277 00:13:34,667 --> 00:13:37,632 Oh, damn it! It's the wrong guy! 278 00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:40,566 Oh, I really thought we had him this time. 279 00:13:40,567 --> 00:13:44,166 Now that the laundry room is empty, can we deal with this mustard stain? 280 00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:47,133 It's time to go back into the belly of the beast. 281 00:13:47,134 --> 00:13:52,233 OK, but on the way, can we stop by the laundry room? 282 00:13:52,234 --> 00:13:54,467 Dad. Dad. 283 00:13:54,468 --> 00:13:56,566 - Last call. - Oh! 284 00:13:56,567 --> 00:13:59,866 - Oh. - There you go. 285 00:13:59,867 --> 00:14:01,899 - Oh, my God! - What? 286 00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:03,933 - Oh, my God! - What? 287 00:14:03,934 --> 00:14:06,699 - It's Michael Stipe! - What? 288 00:14:06,700 --> 00:14:09,833 - I love REM! - Dad, it's R-E-M. 289 00:14:09,834 --> 00:14:13,632 I know how to spell it, sweetheart. Now, you just shh, shh. You just shushy-pie. 290 00:14:13,633 --> 00:14:17,233 I'm gonna go talk to Michael Stipe, because I am a shiny, happy people. 291 00:14:17,234 --> 00:14:19,200 - (phone ringing) - Oh, sorry, Michael, 292 00:14:19,201 --> 00:14:20,733 I gotta take this. 293 00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:23,532 Hello, this is Dave Lyons. Hmm? 294 00:14:23,533 --> 00:14:26,899 All right, that's dandy. OK. 295 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:29,200 Hey, did anybody order some Germans? 296 00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:31,599 'Cause we got a couple out in the lobby. 297 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,599 Don't move, Dad. We'll handle this. 298 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,367 OK. 299 00:14:37,234 --> 00:14:39,599 He's not moving. 300 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:42,499 - We can handle this. - We can totally handle this. 301 00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:44,166 It's gonna be fine. 302 00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:47,000 (weeping) How are we gonna handle this? 303 00:14:47,001 --> 00:14:48,700 Just follow my lead. 304 00:14:51,767 --> 00:14:54,833 - After you. - Ugh! 305 00:14:54,834 --> 00:14:57,266 - Greetings! - And welcome to our firm. 306 00:14:57,267 --> 00:15:00,499 - I'm Stephanie, and this is Bryce. - Guten Tag. 307 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:03,433 - I am Kristof McSchnitzel. - And I am Kirsten McSchnitzel. 308 00:15:03,434 --> 00:15:05,966 - And together we are... - (both): The McSchnitzels. 309 00:15:05,967 --> 00:15:08,799 - Of course. - Yeah. So, 310 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:12,300 how about that traffic, huh? What are you gonna do, am I right? 311 00:15:12,301 --> 00:15:16,900 Even if it just you alone on the highway, you are the traffic. 312 00:15:19,395 --> 00:15:20,915 What are you gonna do? 313 00:15:20,916 --> 00:15:23,205 Ah, you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't. 314 00:15:23,206 --> 00:15:24,666 Is Herr Lyons ready to see us? 315 00:15:24,667 --> 00:15:27,666 Um, about that, the's been a little complication. 316 00:15:27,667 --> 00:15:30,632 - Yeah, small complication. - What kind of complication? 317 00:15:30,633 --> 00:15:33,233 He's dead. 318 00:15:33,234 --> 00:15:36,833 Dead?! Dead! 319 00:15:36,834 --> 00:15:40,532 - Yes! My father is dead! - We just talked to him 30 seconds ago. 320 00:15:40,533 --> 00:15:43,467 It was very unexpected and sudden. 321 00:15:43,468 --> 00:15:45,666 Oh, oh, oh. 322 00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:50,133 Dave Lyons. Hallo, und herzlich willkommen. 323 00:15:50,134 --> 00:15:52,133 Wait a zweiten, this man is dead? 324 00:15:52,134 --> 00:15:55,300 Uh... dead... set on pleasing you! 325 00:15:55,301 --> 00:15:57,100 Exactly. 326 00:15:57,101 --> 00:16:00,699 Now, if you'll both follow me, please. 327 00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:03,766 Dead? Really? Ugh! 328 00:16:03,767 --> 00:16:05,601 Come on! 329 00:16:08,633 --> 00:16:13,203 (saxophone) 330 00:16:15,134 --> 00:16:18,033 Stop playing the damn saxophone! 331 00:16:18,034 --> 00:16:20,699 The whole world is going to hell in a laundry basket, 332 00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:24,666 and all you care about is some stupid sax you found in the boiler room! 333 00:16:24,667 --> 00:16:26,233 Are you crying? 334 00:16:26,234 --> 00:16:30,400 Of course I'm crying! I just put a dryer sheet in my eyes! 335 00:16:30,401 --> 00:16:32,026 (beep) 336 00:16:32,027 --> 00:16:34,367 Don't worry, I'll make sure to take out the lint. 337 00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,033 Don't bother. 338 00:16:36,034 --> 00:16:39,767 Nobody does. Nobody ever does, so why should you, huh? 339 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,899 That's it. 340 00:16:43,900 --> 00:16:46,699 The lint monster isn't just 1 person; 341 00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:49,566 it is the entire building. 342 00:16:49,567 --> 00:16:53,566 All of those sweatpants, the granny bras, those bath mats... 343 00:16:53,567 --> 00:16:55,100 And my mustard shirt. 344 00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:59,266 They all conspire together to make that one gross orange! 345 00:16:59,267 --> 00:17:02,367 - Huh. - Well, we solved it. Ah! 346 00:17:02,368 --> 00:17:06,367 Next up, finding that jerk who keeps leaving scientology posters on the wall. 347 00:17:08,134 --> 00:17:10,532 (cell phone ringing) 348 00:17:10,533 --> 00:17:12,833 This is the woolly mammoth. 349 00:17:12,834 --> 00:17:15,599 - [Does she know anything?] - She knows nothing. 350 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:18,666 Good, good. 351 00:17:18,667 --> 00:17:22,200 It's time for Operation Cheeto-Fingers. 352 00:17:22,201 --> 00:17:24,599 Roger that. 353 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,666 This'll teach her to use her own damn laundry quarters. 354 00:17:27,667 --> 00:17:31,933 So long, Agent Orange. Over and out. 355 00:17:31,934 --> 00:17:34,966 Being a double agent is fun. 356 00:17:34,967 --> 00:17:39,333 Plus, you get to use all those passports. 357 00:17:39,334 --> 00:17:42,266 Well, here you go. I hope you like it. I know 358 00:17:42,267 --> 00:17:44,499 I totally believe in it. 359 00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:46,699 This is an odd direction. 360 00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:48,699 "Hey, kids. I'm the Iron Man. 361 00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:52,666 I like to wink and point at things. The end." 362 00:17:52,667 --> 00:17:55,333 - Uh, love the Iron Man part. - Mm-hmm. 363 00:17:55,334 --> 00:17:58,433 Really like the wink-and-point thing, 364 00:17:58,434 --> 00:18:02,466 but the part where you crap all over me, it's kind of abrupty. 365 00:18:02,467 --> 00:18:04,471 Again, not a real word. 366 00:18:04,472 --> 00:18:06,666 I mean, if you didn't want to do the favour for me, 367 00:18:06,667 --> 00:18:09,133 - you should have just said so. - I didn't mind doing the favour. 368 00:18:09,134 --> 00:18:11,899 I did mind feeling like an indentured sandwich slave. 369 00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:14,748 Look, I'm sorry I took you for granted. 370 00:18:14,749 --> 00:18:16,967 - I really do appreciate you. - Really? 371 00:18:16,968 --> 00:18:18,547 - Most of the time. - I'll take that. 372 00:18:18,548 --> 00:18:19,748 All right, listen. 373 00:18:19,749 --> 00:18:21,667 What do you say we work on this thing together? 374 00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:24,066 Uh, I think that sounds like a superlative idea. 375 00:18:24,067 --> 00:18:25,899 Who's making up words now? 376 00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:30,066 Hey, I got your opening walk. 377 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:32,099 - Slo-mo superhero. - With a wink? 378 00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:34,334 The wink is the glue. 379 00:18:37,067 --> 00:18:38,567 (making sound effects) 380 00:18:38,568 --> 00:18:40,533 - I should wear a cape. - Nope. 381 00:18:40,534 --> 00:18:42,533 - Well, how about a leotard? - Nope. 382 00:18:42,534 --> 00:18:45,166 - Oh, I know, a mask! - What? No. 383 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:47,966 We are aware that your organization has 384 00:18:47,967 --> 00:18:50,066 been trying to introduce your national delicacies 385 00:18:50,067 --> 00:18:52,533 to the North American market for some time now... 386 00:18:52,534 --> 00:18:55,400 become a Yankee Strudel Dandy, if you will. 387 00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:59,300 - (David and Steph laugh.) - I always like to start with a joke. 388 00:18:59,301 --> 00:19:01,667 I look forward to hearing one. 389 00:19:01,668 --> 00:19:04,366 Delightful. 390 00:19:04,367 --> 00:19:07,066 Well, maybe we should start out with what I consider to be 391 00:19:07,067 --> 00:19:08,600 a staple of your chain. 392 00:19:08,601 --> 00:19:11,267 The Mettbrotchen. Stephanie? 393 00:19:15,833 --> 00:19:18,066 Uh... 394 00:19:18,067 --> 00:19:20,500 To your foodie, 395 00:19:20,501 --> 00:19:22,667 a sandwich made with raw meat and onions on bread rolls 396 00:19:22,668 --> 00:19:24,333 may not sound appealing. 397 00:19:24,334 --> 00:19:27,200 But you deep fry that thing in mayonnaise 398 00:19:27,201 --> 00:19:29,200 and call it a crispy mayo-meatwich, 399 00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:31,766 and we'll have people lining up around the block. 400 00:19:31,767 --> 00:19:34,067 - Stephanie? - Right. 401 00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:39,933 Uh, as a... as a side dish, 402 00:19:39,934 --> 00:19:44,233 we'll add Pellkartoffeln, but call them German fries. 403 00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:47,233 Ah, like French fries, but with less surrender. 404 00:19:47,234 --> 00:19:50,133 Exactly. 405 00:19:50,134 --> 00:19:53,533 If you see, this map shows that you will be dominating Western Europe 406 00:19:53,534 --> 00:19:56,266 from the Mediterranean all the way to the Baltic sea. 407 00:19:56,267 --> 00:19:59,200 (McSchnitzels): Hmm, ja. 408 00:19:59,201 --> 00:20:00,732 (Bryce whispering) 409 00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:03,300 Hmm? Yes, our slogan. 410 00:20:03,301 --> 00:20:07,766 We suggest "For better or for Bratwurst". 411 00:20:07,767 --> 00:20:09,933 Bryce, why don't we show them the t-shirts? 412 00:20:09,934 --> 00:20:12,166 Yes, why don't we show them the t-shirts? Right this way. 413 00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:14,400 Yes, let's show the Germans the t-shirts. 414 00:20:14,401 --> 00:20:16,633 Let's show the Germans the t-shirts, 415 00:20:16,634 --> 00:20:20,699 show the Germans the t-shirts. They must see our t-shirts! 416 00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:23,466 Let's show the Germans the t-shirts. 417 00:20:23,467 --> 00:20:25,734 They must LOVE our t-shirts! 418 00:20:27,467 --> 00:20:30,766 (McSchnitzels): Wunderbar! 419 00:20:30,767 --> 00:20:33,400 Yes, it do believe it will be wunderbar when you... 420 00:20:33,401 --> 00:20:36,567 Bryce, for God's sakes. 421 00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:38,999 When you are working with DLPR. 422 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,466 And by the way, I am the DL in DLPR. 423 00:20:42,467 --> 00:20:45,300 My name is Dave Lyons. 424 00:20:45,301 --> 00:20:48,300 - You have me convinced. - Where we sign? 425 00:20:48,301 --> 00:20:51,701 - Uh, right here. - That does it, then. 426 00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:58,333 Well, I think it's gonna be wonderful to be working with you, 427 00:20:58,334 --> 00:21:00,066 because, quite frankly, 428 00:21:00,067 --> 00:21:01,633 I love you. 429 00:21:01,634 --> 00:21:03,999 I love you! 430 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,667 We all love them, sir! 431 00:21:05,668 --> 00:21:09,300 - I love you too. - Oh, thank you, Bryce. 432 00:21:09,301 --> 00:21:11,466 Thank you so much. 433 00:21:11,467 --> 00:21:14,400 Goodbye. Have a safe trip home. 434 00:21:14,401 --> 00:21:17,266 Auf Wiedersehen. 435 00:21:17,267 --> 00:21:18,966 - Auf Wiedersehen. - Guten Tag. 436 00:21:18,967 --> 00:21:21,832 - (Dave chuckles weakly) - Well, done, Bryce. 437 00:21:21,833 --> 00:21:24,234 - Back at you. - Yeah. 438 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,067 How much longer will he be out? 439 00:21:30,068 --> 00:21:33,167 Well, according to his own calculations, another two and a half days. 440 00:21:33,168 --> 00:21:35,232 You know, it's kind of cute seeing him like this, 441 00:21:35,233 --> 00:21:37,800 so innocent, like a sleeping kitten. 442 00:21:37,801 --> 00:21:40,733 We should put his hand in warm water and see if he pees. 443 00:21:40,734 --> 00:21:42,299 Ah! 444 00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:44,266 How goes the day, team? 445 00:21:44,267 --> 00:21:46,033 Dad, that's amazing. How are you feeling? 446 00:21:46,034 --> 00:21:47,333 I feel great, thanks for asking, 447 00:21:47,334 --> 00:21:49,532 but where the hell are those Germans? I thought 448 00:21:49,533 --> 00:21:51,432 those people were supposed to be punctual. I tell ya, 449 00:21:51,433 --> 00:21:53,566 they never would have kept Poland waiting like this. 450 00:21:53,567 --> 00:21:56,618 - So, drinks at Manion's? - Great idea. 451 00:21:56,619 --> 00:21:57,513 Yes. 452 00:21:57,534 --> 00:22:00,203 Sir? 453 00:22:00,901 --> 00:22:04,001 We should... just go. 454 00:22:05,090 --> 00:22:07,896 What about that time in College, when I brought home that pizza... 455 00:22:07,996 --> 00:22:09,623 and I gave you a slice... 456 00:22:09,624 --> 00:22:12,426 and you said "thanks, I owe you." 457 00:22:13,118 --> 00:22:14,289 (laughter) 458 00:22:14,290 --> 00:22:16,043 - Why am I so angry? - What is happening? 459 00:22:16,044 --> 00:22:17,439 Why am I so mad? 460 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:18,933 That is ridiculous. 461 00:22:19,087 --> 00:22:19,909 Woah, man! 462 00:22:20,179 --> 00:22:26,140 Subtitles by awaqeded ---- addic7ed.com ---- 463 00:22:26,190 --> 00:22:30,740 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35890

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