Original subtitles

And, sweetie...

When you finish with your homework,

remember to water the plants

and clean off the garden gnomes.

I don't want my babies getting dirty.

It's kind of creepy when you call them

your babies, mom.

I'm joking.

You know how much pride I take

in my gardening.

Don't worry.

I will take care of your... babies.

Thank you.

I knew I could count on you.

Okay, who is ready for

a romantic getaway of antiquing?

Ah! I am!

Aha!

Now I left all the emergency numbers

on the fridge.

But if it's... if it's urgent,

don't hesitate to call us.

I'm gonna be fine, mom.

You guys go. Enjoy yourselves.

Go before all the ceramic cow creamers

are snapped up.

Okay. See ya tomorrow, honey.

This isn't a mistake, right?

She'll be okay?

Oh, she's a good kid.

Dodie, it's one night.

What can possibly happen?

Now come on! Let's go!

Okay.

Time for your bath.

"What'd you do on your weekend, Sally?"

Oh, nothin'.

Just the most awesome thing ever.

I...

Washed garden gnomes.

Yippee.

No, no! No!

No! No!

No! No! No!

Oh!

? Oh, oh, oh, oh ?

? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh ?

? Hey ?

? Hey ?

? Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh ?

? Oh, oh, oh, oh ?

? Hey ?

No, no, no! No, no!

Ohh, this is bad!

This is very bad!

Okay.

Don't move.

Not that you can.

Let's see... Okay, not helpful!

Ugh!

Where is it? Where is it?

Who put so much junk in this drawer?!

Aha!

Now we're in business.

Okay.

Please work.

Come on.

My mom's gonna kill me.

Okay. First aid kit.

If I were a first aid kit,

where would I be?

Dad's saw.

Aha! Yes!

Okay.

Come on.

No gnome is going down on my watch.

There.

Perfect.

There is no perfect crime.

My mom's totally gonna know

and she's never gonna trust me again.

Unless...

Okay.

Where, where, where, where?

Nope.

Aha! This'll work.

No one ever looks in here.

There.

Sometimes you gotta sacrifice yourself

for the greater good...

The greater good being

me not getting in trouble and not getting

grounded for life.

Is someone playing a trick on me?

Who's out there?!

I don't know who's out there,

but it's not funny!

Adam!

Watch?

Nothing was ever there.

Okay?

You thought you saw something?

You didn't. Mnh-mnh.

Everything... Is good.

The trowel is gone.

What?

Ow!

No way.

Uh...

This is nuts.

Uhh!

No!

This isn't happening.

This isn't happening!

Garden gnomes are not attacking!

Aah!

Get away from me! Ugh!

Okay.

Watch?!

Get over here! I need...

Adam, I need your help!

Stupid Springville reception!

I thought we fixed that?!

There's more?!

You just made a mistake, Mr. Gnome.

This is my house,

and no gnome is getting back in!

Come on! Come on! Come on!

Come on!

Lights on.

No dark, lurking areas.

Windows shut.

Okay.

This house... Is gnome-less.

Okay, why is the power off?

Of course.

I forgot to check the basement!

Sally, that's, like, supernatural 101!

I may be small, but I'm definitely bigger

than a gnome

and I'm not made of terra-cotta.

I know you're down there.

Regardless of how cute you are...

I will end you!

I'm serious.

I was a starter on my field hockey team,

and I've taken down girls

with thighs bigger than you!

Last chance.

Okay.

You asked for it.

It's a full-on invasion!

Time to go!

Why are you doing this?!

You're supposed to be friendly!

I told my mom those gnomes are creepy,

but does she listen to me?

No.

I need answers.

There's gotta be a way to stop them.

Garden gnomes.

Okay. Here we go.

"Garden gnomes have been used

throughout history

as the protectors from evil.

The peaceful creatures are known

for their loving upkeep and safeguarding of

their owners' gardens."

Yeah. Great. Fine.

Where's the part where

these peaceful creatures

go crazy and try to kill the owners' kid

while they're away antiquing?

What to do in case of garden gnome

apocalypse?

Invalid search. Huh.

Great.

You used my shower!

This is my house!

Leave me alone!

Oh, no! Now what?!

Oh, no, no!

Golf clubs.

My dad always keeps his golf clubs in here.

They're everywhere.

I've defeated howling ghosts, vampires,

fear dimensions, reanimated tonsils,

and finally, I am defeated

by a bunch of garden gnomes.

Lame.

I'm sorry, mom and dad.

No.

This isn't the end.

I don't care how many ceramic terrorists

are out there!

This is my house, and my parents trusted me

to protect it,

and that's what I'm gonna do!

Get ready, gnomes.

It's about to get real.

Score!

Yes!

Bull's-eye.

See ya!

Trash in, trash out.

I... Said... Out!

So long, suckers.

Who's the boss now, munchkins?

This house... Is clean.

Sally! You in there?

Adam!

Hold on!

You guys!

I'm alive!

Are you all right?

We called you, but we couldn't get through.

Sally, why are there

ancient runes on your door?

What?

I need to know what this says right now.

First off, my translation skills

are a bit weak.

Also, it's appears to be

an obscure derivation of ancient elvish.

And how would you know that?

There's a fantasy creature

language glossary in the back of my deluxe

"Dragon Masters" guide.

Ah. Sounds legit.

As far as I can make out,

it says "King Slayer."

What does that mean, Sally?

I have no idea.

Quick! Inside!

They're back!

Who?

Find something to defend yourself with!

Defend ourselves from who?

The garden gnomes.

The garden gnomes?

This is not funny!

Okay, I've been defending

this house all day by myself!

These guys are playing for keeps.

Protect the perimeter!

From the lawn ornaments?

It's an all-out assault!

Seal the entrance!

Yo, I don't know much about garden gnomes,

but aren't they supposed to be

the good guys?

Or at least neutral good?

And not alive!

Well, they are alive

and they are far from good.

There has to be a way to stop them.

They're just garden gnomes.

What do we know?

Uh, they're small,

most of them have beards,

and they wear lederhosen.

Oh! Lederhosen?

Allows the person to move

very, very quickly.

They're excellent for hiking.

So I've been told before.

Mm.

Okay, we can't hold this for much longer.

Uh... uh... I...

I'll go get a hammer and nails

from my dad's workroom.

We'll nail it shut.

No!

Uhh!

Yeah, we're just right here

if you need anything.

No!

Have you even seen them move?

I know!

It's like when we're looking

at them, they don't move.

Then once we look away, they start moving

extremely fast.

Aah!

Do you smell barbecue?

Yeah.

The barbecue is us.

Guys!

Sally! Help!

Help! Help!

Sally, these gnomes are

really mad about something.

What did you do?

Nothing!

You must've done something!

Now you're on their side?!

Sally, just do something!

Okay.

Just figure it out.

Huh. "King Slayer."

"King Slayer."

What could they be telling you?

Of course.

How can I be so stupid?!

It's me.

I'm the King Slayer.

Did Sally just bail on us?

The key. The key.

The key.

Please stay together.

Please stay together.

Please stay together.

Okay.

Stop!

Your king isn't dead!

He's right here!

It was an accident.

I didn't mean to.

I take full responsibility.

Do whatever you want to me.

Just let my friends go.

Hey, I think they're leaving.

Close your eyes again.

So that's what this is all about.

They were looking for their king.

And this is what happens when you try

to hide your mistakes from your parents.

Who are going to freak out

if this house isn't in perfect shape

by tomorrow morning when they get home!

You guys gotta help me clean up.

Please.

Please, Watch.

Come on.

Everything looks beautiful!

In perfect order!

See? Told ya.

Nothing to worry about.

Dodie, you will not believe

how clean it is in there.

We need to go away more often.

So, uh, no problems, honey?

No. No.

Everything was, um... real... quiet.

How was the antique hunt?

Well... the hunt was a bust,

but we did find one item.

Bill?

You're gonna love it.

Aah!

? Oh, oh, oh, oh ?

? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh ?

? Hey ?

? Hey ?

? Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh ?

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