Original subtitles

Ahh!

Hello.

Time for another episode of

The"... whoa!

Guaranteed no-slip jib arm my hat!

Hello, again.

I'm your host, Phil Chloro, and

it's time for another episode of

The Podcast."

On my last visit, I encountered

a non-native, hitherto-unknown,

invasive plant.

Yes!

We're getting closer.

The scent grows stronger here.

I... I dare say it's making me a

bit light-headed.

It is about 2 feet high, and...

Great Caesar's ghost!

The smaller ones, I'll take back

to the lab.

But this big one...

Fragrance.

You're a thick-skinned fellow.

? Oh, oh, oh, oh ?

? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh ?

? Hey ?

? Hey ?

? Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh ?

? Oh, oh, oh, oh ?

? Hey ?

Yeah.

Okay, don't do it, Sally.

Don't do what?

Tempt fate.

You're already on double

probation for dress-code violation.

Principal Blackwater is just

itching to give you another citation.

For expressing my individuality?

She wouldn't dare.

Wilcox, Sally... violation

number 188, no shorts in school.

But... I'm wearing leggings.

You can't even see any skin.

Yes, but you have shorts, and

they are in school.

Violation number 8, no hats.

They can be used to signal gang

associations.

It's from the animal shelter!

Look!

And violation number 222,

no platform, high-top sneakers.

They are orthotics.

My doctor insisted I wear them, actually.

Good day, Miss Wilcox.

Why do you provoke her like that?

'Cause... The dress code is wrong.

Why should I dress like everybody else?

Why do you insist on making

everything such an epic battle?

Would it be such a big deal to

fit in a little bit?

Yeah. The dress code isn't

even that strict.

Never.

Death before conformity.

Hey, are you okay?

I feel a great wave of

sickness, as if some horrible

evil is descending upon us and

there's nothing we can do to stop it.

Hello, classmates.

Ann?

Hello, Adam.

Hello, Watch, Sally.

What are you doing here, Ann?

Did you get kicked out of Hogwarts?

Oh, didn't you know?

I transferred to Lizzie Borden,

wanted to be closer to home.

In fact, I think we have a few

classes together, Adam.

Isn't that a fun coincidence?

No. No, it's actually neither

of those things.

What's your game, Broom-Hilda?

With you, there's always a reason.

If you devoted less time to

obsessing about me and more to

your own life, you might pick a

better outfit.

Ann, we sit over here.

Yeah.

Yeah, we sit here.

This is... this is "we."

I think a field trip to a

parallel world constitutes a

bonding experience.

So, I think now this is "we."

Come on.

And I thought a Spooksville

full of apocalyptic zombies was bad.

If you don't mind, keep it down, please.

Class is starting.

Ooh.

Maybe not.

Are we sure this is the right room?

Of course we're sure.

It's biology with Mr. Chloro.

It says it on the board, but I

guess reading wasn't really

required at your old school.

Look. Here.

Hello, children.

I can't tell you how excited I am today.

In fact, I'd say it's one of the

most important days of my life.

And hopefully, it will be the

same for you, too.

Is Mr. Chloro acting a little weird today?

Only a little?

What's he normally like?

Totally weird, but in a

completely different way.

One thing about

Lizzie Borden High... you really

get what you pay for.

But it's free.

Mm-hmm.

You cannot insult our school.

All right? You don't have the right.

There'll be no talking today.

The punishment for not listening

to this lesson will be... Severe.

Excellent.

The blossom will be pleased, and

all must please the blossom.

"All must please the blossom."

What?

Is this gonna be on the test?

On this monumental day,

you'll learn how plant life is

far superior to human life, and

because of that fact, how human

life must be subjugated to serve its glory.

I wonder if it's too late to

transfer back to the

Lilith academy for young ladies.

You will each have the

opportunity to bond with one of

these lovely specimens.

Uh, Mr. Chloro, I think I

might have a question about one

or two of the things you said.

All of your questions will be answered.

You don't have to be so obvious.

I feel sorry for her.

I'm sorry.

Let me just bang my head against the wall.

You feel sorry for her?

Hey, Sally, you're way off base here.

Ann's been great.

She's been coming over, helping

with my mom, looking through old

photo albums, helping her remember.

Regular Florence nightingale.

But she's got a bubbling

cauldron of monkey eye in her basement.

Ow!

What'd you do that for?

I'm waking you up.

Sally, you can't just go

around poking people in the arm.

You'll thank me later.

Relax.

What's that?

I found it on the floor in the classroom.

Do you always eat everything

you find on the floor?

I'm not eating it.

I'm studying it.

I'm curious.

Apparently, it's some kind of

organic material.

But from what?

It definitely merits further investigation.

You know what else merits

further investigation?

Why Ann suddenly goes to our school.

Is he all right?

Yeah, he's just thinking.

That's the face that says we're

going straight from school to the lab.

You're not invited.

I'm not invited to Watch's

basement nerd emporium?

Oh, I'm devastated.

I'll just have

to console myself with a quick

trip to fashion week for my new

school wardrobe.

She plays rough.

Okay, I just added what we

can assume is plant material to the slide.

Now when I add a drop of

carbonated water, the material shrinks.

Any other plant material would

absorb the water and plump right up.

But when I add this...

It plumps immediately.

What'd you add?

Blood.

So, you're saying this is a

part of some blood-sucking plant?

That's not such an unusual

botanic phenomenon.

Many carnivorous plants excrete

digestive enzymes to break down

the prey and extract the nutrients.

In this case, I'm postulating

that it's searching for all the

sugar in the blood.

Anybody for a snack?

Adam?

We have leftover artichoke from dinner.

Ahh. Don't mind if I do.

Enjoy.

Hey, look.

I'm a man-eating plant.

Anyway, this merits further investigation.

Oh, look, look, look, look.

I'm a man, and I'm eating a plant.

Yes, I get it.

I get it.

Adam?

Hey, dad.

I ran into one of your

teachers at the supermarket

today... Mr. Chloro.

Oh, yeah.

That's my science teacher.

Well, he was nice enough to

give me a belated housewarming gift.

He showed us a plant like that in class.

It was just a bit smaller.

Did he?

It's an unusual flower.

Smell.

Oh, Mrs. Waverly.

Hi.

Have you seen Watch anywhere?

Oh, he left already with Adam.

Really?

Yes.

Hold on.

Smell.

It's okay.

Sally, I am adult, and I am

telling you to smell this plant.

No, I ca... I'm actually allergic.

I don't want to get the plant sick.

Sally?

Sorry.

You're late.

Please take a flower.

No... no, thank you.

Not today.

I cannot believe you stood me up.

I came by to pick you guys up.

You will not believe wh... A weed.

Oh, boy.

No. No! No!

Mrs. Blackwater, you have to

see what's going on in my science...

Class.

Wilcox, Sally.

New rule... all students and

faculty are required to carry a

precious seedling.

The students are running

through the halls naked.

Okay. This is weird, even for

Lizzie Borden High.

Only the richest soil will do.

We must guard the precious

blossom with our insignificant

animal lives...

Protect them from all threats.

A weed.

Root it out.

Root it out.

Root it out.

No. No.

I'm gonna go get mine.

I feel naked without it.

Um, hello?

On second thought, never mind.

Keep the change.

Stop.

Come.

Come join us.

All hail the blossom.

A weed!

A weed! Over there!

Hurry!

A weed!

Follow me! Hurry!

A weed!

All hail the blossom.

All hail the blossom.

All hail the blossom.

Spread out, brothers and sisters.

There is a weed in the area.

It must be found.

It must be stopped.

Spread out.

Find the weed.

Do what must be done.

Find the weed.

Find the weed.

Find the weed.

Find the weed.

Bad news, monster plant.

Find the weed.

Find the weed.

Find the weed.

The blossom is supreme.

That which spreads the blossom is good.

All else is bad.

Weeds are bad.

Adam, please.

It's me... Sally.

Look, I know you're possessed by

a giant plant monster right now,

but you've got to recognize my face.

You've got, like, a major crush on me.

You're a weed.

Adam, listen.

I've saved you over and over again.

I'm not asking for a "thank you"

note or anything, but you're not

feeding me to a giant plant.

Just makes us... just about even.

Don't pretend you're not enjoying this.

Watch?!

Watch, where are you?!

Right here.

Where I can better serve the blossom.

Stop. What are you doing?

You will become one of us.

We care for the seedlings until

they're old enough to feed.

Then, we'll be honored to allow

them to use our bodies as food.

As soon as you inhale the

truth, you will join us.

Help me!

Somebody help!

I sense more weeds nearby.

Find them.

Three years of swim practice

really helped me with my breath holding.

Okay, take two.

Okay, this is hopeless.

Hello, again.

I'm your host, Phil Chloro, and

it's time for another episode

The Podcast."

On my last visit...

Ugh, is that diet soda?

My mom always said the stuff was

terrible for you.

I wish I had some right now.

Aah! Let go of me!

You're helping me?!

I prefer to think of it as

hurting the plant.

Why... Won't... You... Break?!

Aah!

Help me.

Get a saw or something.

It won't work.

We need that.

Ohh!

You picked a bottle of soda

instead of gardening shears?!

I cannot believe you're in honors biology.

Here's a shocker for you.

I'm in honors chemistry, too.

What are you doing?

Every kid's favorite experiment.

Is it working?

Drink it all down for mama, baby.

No!

No, the blossom must live!

All it asked for is our lives!

Aah!

What happened?

Do I even want to know why you

two are covered in cola?

Ew, diet cola.

Let us never speak of this again.

I can't afford dress-code

violations from Blackwater.

And I'm pretty sure head-to-toe

covered in dirt counts as out of uniform.

You?

I just don't like her.

Defeating that thing, it was...

Smartly played, Sally.

Well, thanks for... Saving you?

Trying to save me, actually,

after I saved you and everybody else.

Well, it turns out the whole

town owes their lives to your

pathological need to do things

differently from everyone else.

But they'll never know it.

At least not from me.

Oh, by the way, how come you

weren't taken over by the plant monster?

Frankly, it turns out the

boys at Lizzie Borden High are

not so meticulously about their deodorant.

So, you just stopped

breathing through your nose entirely.

Basically, yes.

Hey, guys.

It's a brilliant idea.

Yeah.

What?

Let's go.

? Oh, oh, oh, oh ?

? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh ?

? Hey ?

? Hey ?

? Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh ?

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