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Previously on "Splitting Up Together"...
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- What happened?
- We, uh...
3
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- Slept together.
- Who'd you have sex with?
4
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- Frank.
- Yeah, AKA Sugar Beard.
5
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,080
Are the three of you aware
that Martin and I broke up?
6
00:00:09,086 --> 00:00:11,508
Lisa Apple, are you pregnant or not?
7
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I think we may have to ruin
Martin and Lena's weekend.
8
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[INSECTS CHIRPING]
9
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[VACUUM WHIRRING]
10
00:00:23,812 --> 00:00:25,044
Hey, Lena.
11
00:00:27,015 --> 00:00:28,251
Lena!
12
00:00:28,257 --> 00:00:29,849
Can we please talk?
13
00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:32,426
Sorry! I can't hear you!
14
00:00:32,754 --> 00:00:36,881
Okay, well, how am I able to
hear you if you can't hear me?
15
00:00:36,887 --> 00:00:38,887
[WHIRRING STOPS]
16
00:00:41,101 --> 00:00:43,796
Hey, look, I know you
don't want to get into it,
17
00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:46,087
but I think it would
healthy for us to have...
18
00:00:46,093 --> 00:00:47,416
A baby?
19
00:00:47,670 --> 00:00:52,548
Really, Martin? A baby with Lisa Apple?
20
00:00:52,662 --> 00:00:55,750
And what would that even
mean to the kids, to us?
21
00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:58,592
- How do we explain that to people?
- I-I don't know.
22
00:00:58,598 --> 00:01:02,314
- I don't know, but I-I do know...
- This is the ultimate sign,
23
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:05,118
the ultimate, giant
billboard of a sign...
24
00:01:05,124 --> 00:01:09,003
- "It's over!" "Move on!"
- I disagree. I don't want to.
25
00:01:09,009 --> 00:01:10,493
[SIGHS] And, by the way,
26
00:01:10,499 --> 00:01:14,346
who accidentally gets
someone pregnant at your age?
27
00:01:14,352 --> 00:01:16,150
- Did you forget how sex worked?
- Come on.
28
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- Did you not use birth control?
- We used birth control, okay? It's just...
29
00:01:19,382 --> 00:01:20,582
It's just...
30
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My guys are very dogged. You know that.
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- Milo.
- Are you seriously
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00:01:27,642 --> 00:01:30,129
giving your sperm a
shout-out right now?
33
00:01:30,135 --> 00:01:31,335
I'm not giving them a shout-out.
34
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:33,828
- It's more like credit where credit is...
- "Dogged"?
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You know what? They're
reckless. Every last one of 'em.
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That's their job, Lena.
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Look.
38
00:01:43,428 --> 00:01:46,652
We don't actually know if
Lisa is pregnant, right?
39
00:01:46,658 --> 00:01:49,438
Yes. Technically, we
don't know for sure.
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00:01:49,444 --> 00:01:51,856
So, before we go making
any rash decisions
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00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:54,863
or saying things about each other's
sperms that we can't take back,
42
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can we at least find out if it's true?
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- "We"?
- Me.
44
00:01:59,175 --> 00:02:01,866
I promise to get to the
bottom of this, okay?
45
00:02:02,466 --> 00:02:04,055
But you...
46
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Just don't skip ahead to the ending.
47
00:02:07,873 --> 00:02:09,980
Don't skip ahead to us ending.
48
00:02:09,986 --> 00:02:12,101
So, what, I'm supposed to just
49
00:02:12,107 --> 00:02:14,194
- sit around here and...
- Wait.
50
00:02:15,143 --> 00:02:16,605
Just wait.
51
00:02:16,726 --> 00:02:18,225
You know, I know you're
not big on waiting.
52
00:02:18,231 --> 00:02:20,123
I know you like to rally the troops
53
00:02:20,129 --> 00:02:22,036
and march them down the field, but...
54
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just this once...
55
00:02:25,156 --> 00:02:28,367
will you wait up for me?
56
00:02:32,648 --> 00:02:34,548
Go talk to Lisa Apple.
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I'm on it.
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00:02:37,951 --> 00:02:41,253
Keep giving me hope for a better day
59
00:02:41,259 --> 00:02:44,648
Keep giving me love to find a way
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00:02:44,927 --> 00:02:49,037
Through this heaviness
I feel, I just need
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-
Someone to say everything's okay
- Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com -
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Everything's okay
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I know, you guys.
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00:02:57,783 --> 00:03:00,462
I know, but Martin's trying.
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00:03:00,468 --> 00:03:01,900
You know who else was trying?
66
00:03:01,906 --> 00:03:03,478
Toby last year.
67
00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:05,360
But that didn't get him
out of the second grade.
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00:03:05,366 --> 00:03:06,973
Harsh, but fair.
69
00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:09,471
See? That's what I'm
trying to be... fair.
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00:03:09,477 --> 00:03:12,260
Even though every fiber of
my being is telling me to run,
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I am not doing that.
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00:03:13,579 --> 00:03:15,768
Why? Because that's what love is...
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00:03:15,774 --> 00:03:17,299
ignoring your own instincts
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00:03:17,305 --> 00:03:19,441
and putting someone else's needs first.
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00:03:19,447 --> 00:03:21,113
That's what love is?
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00:03:21,119 --> 00:03:23,542
Well, it's open for debate,
but, yes, that's what it is.
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- [DOOR OPENS, BELL JINGLES]
- Pbht!
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Mason, hey! What are you doing here?
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00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,443
I thought you hated crafty stuff.
80
00:03:29,449 --> 00:03:32,226
I do, but Hazel's camp friends
wanted to try, so we're all here.
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00:03:32,232 --> 00:03:34,032
- Well, tight.
- Mom.
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00:03:34,239 --> 00:03:37,650
And, Hazel, I love this new look.
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So much going on.
84
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,256
It's about gloves. Okay,
darling? It's about gloves.
85
00:03:42,262 --> 00:03:43,954
- Okay, well...
- Listen.
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- No, I am.
- We all are.
87
00:03:46,552 --> 00:03:48,873
It's... it's very intriguing.
88
00:03:51,555 --> 00:03:53,881
Here... I'll set you
kids up at this table.
89
00:03:53,887 --> 00:03:55,884
And, Toby, we'll continue
our conversation...
90
00:03:55,890 --> 00:03:57,673
- on love and sacrifice when I return.
- [BELL JINGLES]
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I need more brown.
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You got it.
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- Ah-ha! So you're a Taurus.
- [CHUCKLES]
94
00:04:03,899 --> 00:04:07,865
- I guess.
- Ah, spoken like a true Taurus. [CHUCKLES]
95
00:04:07,871 --> 00:04:09,791
And so, what are you?
96
00:04:09,975 --> 00:04:11,299
I'll give you a hint.
97
00:04:11,305 --> 00:04:13,689
My ruler is Mars. I'm
a natural-born leader.
98
00:04:13,695 --> 00:04:15,275
My element is fire.
99
00:04:15,281 --> 00:04:16,774
I really don't follow...
100
00:04:16,780 --> 00:04:20,459
Okay, I also share a star
sign with Mariah Carey,
101
00:04:20,465 --> 00:04:23,280
Chance, the Rapper, and Scott Eastwood.
102
00:04:24,073 --> 00:04:26,407
- I basically just gave it away.
- [LAUGHS]
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- I'm an Aries, girl!
- Oh, an Aries! Right!
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00:04:30,724 --> 00:04:33,446
- Like Scott Eastwood.
- Hell, yeah!
105
00:04:33,546 --> 00:04:35,538
- [SIGHS]
- Oh, man, I am...
106
00:04:35,544 --> 00:04:37,649
so stoked on you being a Taurus.
107
00:04:37,655 --> 00:04:39,231
It's like I hit the jackpot.
108
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,448
You're honest, loyal.
109
00:04:41,454 --> 00:04:43,235
Yes, that's me.
110
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Womp, womp, womp-womp
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She give me what I wanna
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Ball so hard, need a warm-up
113
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I bagged her at the Walmart
114
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-
Yeah...
- Wow, man. Wow!
115
00:04:51,873 --> 00:04:54,154
I don't normally feel
comfortable playing favorites,
116
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,925
but this track is my favorite!
117
00:04:56,931 --> 00:04:58,316
She give me what I wanna
118
00:04:58,322 --> 00:04:59,907
-
Ball so hard, need a warm-up
- Meeting.
119
00:04:59,913 --> 00:05:01,214
I bagged her at the Walmart...
120
00:05:01,220 --> 00:05:02,420
- Hey.
- I'm in a meeting.
121
00:05:02,426 --> 00:05:04,105
Yeah, I know, but I need to talk to you.
122
00:05:04,111 --> 00:05:05,444
[SIGHS]
123
00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:06,926
- [MUSIC STOPS]
- Come on in.
124
00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,331
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
125
00:05:08,337 --> 00:05:10,263
- Hey, man. I-I'm Martin.
- I'm Valee.
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00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:12,231
Uh, sorry to interrupt, um,
127
00:05:12,237 --> 00:05:14,545
but I-I need your help with that...
128
00:05:15,542 --> 00:05:18,631
that new band, The Lisa Apple Situation.
129
00:05:18,637 --> 00:05:20,537
Lisa Apple's not really a band.
130
00:05:20,543 --> 00:05:22,943
It's his ex-girlfriend
who might be knocked up.
131
00:05:22,949 --> 00:05:24,842
- Womp, womp, womp-womp.
- Dude!
132
00:05:24,848 --> 00:05:26,576
I'm just trying to be
transparent with my client.
133
00:05:26,582 --> 00:05:28,467
Who knocks somebody up at your age?
134
00:05:28,473 --> 00:05:29,972
My guys are very dogged.
135
00:05:29,978 --> 00:05:31,410
Not me.
136
00:05:31,416 --> 00:05:33,214
Super low sperm count.
137
00:05:33,220 --> 00:05:35,186
So, we're just telling
Valee everything about our...
138
00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:37,815
- our lives? Okay.
- Yeah.
139
00:05:37,821 --> 00:05:41,605
Well, [CLEARS THROAT] Lisa
Apple is not my only problem.
140
00:05:41,611 --> 00:05:43,697
Okay, I'm still trying to
patch things up with my ex-wife,
141
00:05:43,703 --> 00:05:46,314
- Lena, but she's...
- Got you on hold till she figures out
142
00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,118
what's happening with
the, uh, Apple Situation.
143
00:05:49,124 --> 00:05:50,603
Hundo-P!
144
00:05:50,609 --> 00:05:52,212
- Don't say that.
- Okay.
145
00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:55,970
Look, I know I need to talk to
her, and I'm gonna. I am on it...
146
00:05:55,976 --> 00:05:57,679
but I'm just kind of
dreading it, you know?
147
00:05:57,685 --> 00:05:59,672
I mean, whether she is
or... or isn't pregnant,
148
00:05:59,678 --> 00:06:01,476
I know she's not gonna
be happy to see me.
149
00:06:01,482 --> 00:06:02,682
[CELLPHONE CLICKING]
150
00:06:02,688 --> 00:06:03,888
Yo. Hey!
151
00:06:03,894 --> 00:06:06,061
Hey, I am baring my
soul to you right now
152
00:06:06,067 --> 00:06:07,364
and you're on your phone?
153
00:06:07,445 --> 00:06:10,747
Valee is listening, and
we're not even friends.
154
00:06:10,753 --> 00:06:12,041
I feel like we're friends.
155
00:06:12,047 --> 00:06:14,247
- Uh, yeah...
- I am listening.
156
00:06:14,253 --> 00:06:17,237
I'm just searching Lisa
Apple's 'gram for Intel.
157
00:06:18,456 --> 00:06:19,875
She just posted.
158
00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:25,244
"A lot on my mind."
159
00:06:25,250 --> 00:06:27,557
- She's pregnant.
- Definitely pregnant.
160
00:06:31,238 --> 00:06:32,438
You know what we should do next?
161
00:06:32,652 --> 00:06:34,060
We should all paint a teapot together.
162
00:06:34,066 --> 00:06:36,551
Then we'd have, like,
a friendship tea set.
163
00:06:37,050 --> 00:06:38,547
We're totally doing that.
164
00:06:38,636 --> 00:06:40,500
- Bible.
- ALL: Bible!
165
00:06:40,506 --> 00:06:41,706
Bible!
166
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,302
Right.
167
00:06:43,308 --> 00:06:48,690
168
00:06:48,696 --> 00:06:50,692
- What the hell?
- [FAUCET RUNNING]
169
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:53,183
- Honey, what's going on?
- [FAUCET TURNS OFF]
170
00:06:53,672 --> 00:06:56,750
- What do you mean?
- You're acting like some kind of a lap dog.
171
00:06:56,756 --> 00:07:00,080
- And also, friendship tea set?
- It's fine.
172
00:07:00,168 --> 00:07:02,418
I haven't seen Hazel all summer, and...
173
00:07:02,424 --> 00:07:04,736
I missed her, and I'm just
trying to rekindle things.
174
00:07:04,742 --> 00:07:09,645
175
00:07:09,844 --> 00:07:11,862
- Are you wearing makeup?
- Mm, no.
176
00:07:11,868 --> 00:07:15,474
Okay, well, this morning, your
complexion was "Apricot Ice,"
177
00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:18,249
and now it's practically "Summer Peach."
178
00:07:18,255 --> 00:07:19,740
[QUIETLY] It's tinted sunscreen.
179
00:07:19,746 --> 00:07:22,160
[NORMAL VOICE] Look, Hazel
went to Andr? Leon Talley's
180
00:07:22,166 --> 00:07:23,552
- Fashion Camp, okay?
- Okay.
181
00:07:23,558 --> 00:07:26,087
And those kids are her gay bunkmates,
182
00:07:26,093 --> 00:07:28,474
who, as you can see, are flawless.
183
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,765
Hazel, also flawless.
184
00:07:31,092 --> 00:07:33,771
Me... not so flawless.
185
00:07:33,777 --> 00:07:35,029
What? That's not true.
186
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:37,343
Mom, stop. I look like an old sheep dog.
187
00:07:37,349 --> 00:07:38,841
More green, darling.
188
00:07:39,173 --> 00:07:40,453
On it, darling!
189
00:07:40,859 --> 00:07:43,375
Okay, I am not comfortable
with you changing
190
00:07:43,381 --> 00:07:45,262
who you are and
abandoning your interests
191
00:07:45,268 --> 00:07:46,757
for some glove-wearing...
192
00:07:46,763 --> 00:07:50,152
"That's what love is... putting
someone else's needs first."
193
00:07:50,158 --> 00:07:51,752
Exactly. Thank you.
194
00:07:55,466 --> 00:07:57,558
What's the ETA on brown?
195
00:07:57,564 --> 00:08:00,158
196
00:08:00,164 --> 00:08:01,753
[PAINT SPUTTERS]
197
00:08:02,450 --> 00:08:03,738
GENE: Welcome back.
198
00:08:03,824 --> 00:08:06,542
Will the silver fox
be joining you today?
199
00:08:06,548 --> 00:08:09,855
Oh! No, but thank you for asking.
200
00:08:09,861 --> 00:08:13,715
No, I'm... I'm dining alone.
I have [GRUMBLES] so much on my mind.
201
00:08:13,721 --> 00:08:15,803
Oh, I just meant do you
need the second chair?
202
00:08:15,809 --> 00:08:19,129
No, but what do I need? [CHUCKLES]
203
00:08:19,135 --> 00:08:20,805
So, I-I can take the chair?
204
00:08:20,811 --> 00:08:23,093
I don't know. I don't know anything.
205
00:08:23,099 --> 00:08:24,361
That's not fair. I did know.
206
00:08:24,367 --> 00:08:26,575
I knew my whole life that
I wanted to have a baby,
207
00:08:26,581 --> 00:08:27,981
and then I never met the right guy.
208
00:08:27,987 --> 00:08:29,878
So I got a donor, and now I'm pregnant.
209
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,084
I'll get a different chair.
210
00:08:31,090 --> 00:08:33,455
And then I met the silver fox,
211
00:08:33,461 --> 00:08:35,228
whose real name is Sugar Beard,
212
00:08:35,234 --> 00:08:37,099
- aka Country Music Face.
- Mm-hm.
213
00:08:37,105 --> 00:08:39,887
- And you saw him. He's so handsome.
- I did.
214
00:08:39,893 --> 00:08:41,711
And he's really into me.
215
00:08:41,717 --> 00:08:44,108
- And he values honesty.
- Mm-hm.
216
00:08:44,114 --> 00:08:45,699
[SIGHS]
217
00:08:45,777 --> 00:08:47,906
I have to tell him, don't I?
218
00:08:47,912 --> 00:08:50,038
I-I mean, I don't want to, but should I?
219
00:08:50,044 --> 00:08:52,344
I-I'm just... I'm afraid
that I'm gonna scare him off!
220
00:08:52,358 --> 00:08:54,659
Based on this interaction,
I'm thinking you will.
221
00:08:54,958 --> 00:08:57,553
Do you know how to act normal or...?
222
00:08:57,559 --> 00:08:59,177
What happened to the bread guy?
223
00:08:59,183 --> 00:09:00,454
- He seemed nicer.
- Look...
224
00:09:00,460 --> 00:09:01,932
why not just tell him what's going on
225
00:09:01,938 --> 00:09:03,565
and say that you're asking for a friend
226
00:09:03,571 --> 00:09:05,768
and that you want his thoughts
on what the friend should do?
227
00:09:05,883 --> 00:09:07,765
Are you kidding? That's your advice?
228
00:09:07,771 --> 00:09:10,054
Because anyone who's
attended middle school
229
00:09:10,060 --> 00:09:12,362
knows that when you say
you're "asking for a friend,"
230
00:09:12,368 --> 00:09:14,031
you're asking for yourself.
231
00:09:14,037 --> 00:09:15,935
Yeah, but that's only because
people don't put enough
232
00:09:15,941 --> 00:09:17,507
thought into a credible backstory.
233
00:09:17,513 --> 00:09:18,913
You really have to flesh out the friend
234
00:09:18,919 --> 00:09:20,128
if you want someone to buy it.
235
00:09:20,134 --> 00:09:22,631
- No. That's never worked.
- Wrong.
236
00:09:22,637 --> 00:09:24,344
This saved my friend Jonas' marriage.
237
00:09:24,350 --> 00:09:26,201
- Oh, come on.
- Yeah. I've known him since college.
238
00:09:26,207 --> 00:09:28,616
Good guy, lives in Encino,
married his high-school sweetheart,
239
00:09:28,622 --> 00:09:31,906
but two kids later, their
love life goes kaput.
240
00:09:31,912 --> 00:09:33,608
So, he asks "for a friend"
241
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:35,506
if she thinks introducing a third party
242
00:09:35,512 --> 00:09:37,529
- might spice things up.
- [CHUCKLES]
243
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:38,945
And what did the wife say?
244
00:09:38,951 --> 00:09:40,619
The wife doesn't exist.
245
00:09:40,625 --> 00:09:42,256
Neither does Jonas. That's my point.
246
00:09:42,262 --> 00:09:43,836
Work on your backstory.
247
00:09:44,152 --> 00:09:47,370
248
00:09:47,376 --> 00:09:49,610
- Mae Day, what's all this?
- [KEYBOARD CLACKING]
249
00:09:49,704 --> 00:09:51,377
Presentation for Bio.
250
00:09:51,963 --> 00:09:53,309
Oh, word?
251
00:09:54,004 --> 00:09:55,470
Talk me in.
252
00:09:55,476 --> 00:09:56,676
[KEYCHAIN CLINKS]
253
00:09:56,677 --> 00:09:58,077
Tell me all the deets,
254
00:09:58,083 --> 00:10:01,682
or as a scientist would
say, the details. [CHUCKLES]
255
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:02,985
It's about how baby boomers
256
00:10:02,991 --> 00:10:04,698
ruined the planet for future generations
257
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,699
by ignoring the clear
signs of global warming.
258
00:10:06,705 --> 00:10:07,924
Ah-ha!
259
00:10:08,222 --> 00:10:09,722
They totally did.
260
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:13,826
I created a CGI animation
261
00:10:13,832 --> 00:10:16,249
showing the decades of
changing weather patterns.
262
00:10:16,255 --> 00:10:18,234
- [COMPUTER WHIRRING]
- Wow.
263
00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:20,263
So you just banged this
whole thing out, huh?
264
00:10:20,269 --> 00:10:21,825
You're really on it.
265
00:10:21,831 --> 00:10:24,337
You know, sometimes, I-I
say that I'm on it, but...
266
00:10:24,343 --> 00:10:26,124
honestly, I'm nowhere near it.
267
00:10:26,130 --> 00:10:28,438
- Okay?
- And I'm sure you're not dying to do it.
268
00:10:28,444 --> 00:10:30,538
- I actually really need to...
- You just rolled up your sleeves
269
00:10:30,544 --> 00:10:34,042
and handled your business
like a grown-ass man.
270
00:10:34,048 --> 00:10:35,961
I don't think we have
to assign a gender to it,
271
00:10:35,967 --> 00:10:37,738
but yes, I did.
272
00:10:37,744 --> 00:10:39,780
Procrastination is for losers.
273
00:10:39,786 --> 00:10:41,469
- [KEYBOARD CLACKING]
- "Losers"?
274
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,272
- [CLACKING STOPS]
- Losers.
275
00:10:43,278 --> 00:10:46,682
Cowards. Weaklings. Little babies.
276
00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:47,888
The elderly.
277
00:10:47,894 --> 00:10:51,399
If there's a task at hand,
just get to it. Right?
278
00:10:51,792 --> 00:10:52,992
Right.
279
00:10:54,078 --> 00:10:55,673
- [CLACKING RESUMES]
- [SIGHS]
280
00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:56,989
Okay.
281
00:10:57,267 --> 00:10:58,551
Thank you.
282
00:10:59,556 --> 00:11:00,876
LENA: Hey, Mason?!
283
00:11:00,882 --> 00:11:04,283
I found a blending egg in the bathroom
284
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:06,170
- of the shop, and...
- MASON: Mine.
285
00:11:06,176 --> 00:11:07,649
Just leave it in my room, please.
286
00:11:07,655 --> 00:11:09,548
Oh. Okay, will do!
287
00:11:10,142 --> 00:11:12,149
But, Mason, I've been thinking.
288
00:11:12,155 --> 00:11:14,563
- I know you want to impress Hazel...
- MASON: Yep.
289
00:11:14,569 --> 00:11:17,125
and I just want to make sure
290
00:11:17,131 --> 00:11:19,224
you don't lose sight of
yourself in the process.
291
00:11:19,230 --> 00:11:20,430
I won't.
292
00:11:20,631 --> 00:11:22,934
Okay, 'cause it's just... it...
293
00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:24,335
- [DOOR OPENS]
- You've been a little...
294
00:11:24,341 --> 00:11:31,715
295
00:11:31,721 --> 00:11:33,016
Why?
296
00:11:33,410 --> 00:11:34,707
And how?
297
00:11:34,713 --> 00:11:36,019
But mostly why.
298
00:11:36,025 --> 00:11:37,504
Guilty of the "how,"
299
00:11:37,510 --> 00:11:40,316
but I'm pretty sure the
"why" speaks for itself.
300
00:11:40,322 --> 00:11:41,715
Don't you love?
301
00:11:41,721 --> 00:11:44,353
Um... well...
302
00:11:44,359 --> 00:11:45,559
I know. Me, too.
303
00:11:45,565 --> 00:11:47,541
I mean, no offense, but I kind of
304
00:11:47,547 --> 00:11:49,728
never really got Mason
before, but this...
305
00:11:49,734 --> 00:11:51,722
this is just mm, mm, mm, mm, mwah!
306
00:11:51,728 --> 00:11:53,834
Totally, but this is
all reversible, right?
307
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:56,780
Whoa. You look beat to hell.
308
00:11:56,986 --> 00:12:00,010
That's kind of what
I was wanting to say.
309
00:12:00,979 --> 00:12:02,497
Mason, it's too much.
310
00:12:02,503 --> 00:12:04,791
Really? I think it's super subtle.
311
00:12:04,797 --> 00:12:08,269
He looks like a plastic
surgeon from the 1970s.
312
00:12:08,275 --> 00:12:09,947
As long as Hazel likes it, I don't care.
313
00:12:09,953 --> 00:12:11,844
See? That's fascinating to me, son.
314
00:12:11,850 --> 00:12:13,864
That's what I want to explore.
315
00:12:13,870 --> 00:12:16,258
It's clear you want Hazel to want you,
316
00:12:16,264 --> 00:12:19,946
but do you even want her if
it means keeping up all this?
317
00:12:19,952 --> 00:12:22,775
- Mom, yes. I'm in love with Hazel.
- He's deeply in love with her.
318
00:12:22,781 --> 00:12:23,981
Are you, though?
319
00:12:24,173 --> 00:12:29,486
Or are you in love with the idea
of her being in love with you?
320
00:12:29,492 --> 00:12:31,700
- No, I'm in actual deep love with her.
- I'm so confused right now.
321
00:12:31,706 --> 00:12:32,906
Shh, shh, shh.
322
00:12:32,996 --> 00:12:35,200
I think I'm figuring
something out about myself.
323
00:12:36,337 --> 00:12:39,606
[KEYS JINGLING]
324
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:41,685
- Ugh.
- I know.
325
00:12:41,691 --> 00:12:43,695
I know you don't want to see me.
326
00:12:43,802 --> 00:12:45,694
Trust me. I've stalled
as long as I could
327
00:12:45,700 --> 00:12:48,890
to avoid putting that
exact look on your face.
328
00:12:48,896 --> 00:12:51,019
Well, sorry about my face.
329
00:12:51,025 --> 00:12:52,322
- Bye.
- No, look.
330
00:12:52,328 --> 00:12:54,910
Lisa, I'm sure I'm the last
person you want to talk to.
331
00:12:54,916 --> 00:12:56,918
Actually, you were the first
person I wanted to talk to
332
00:12:56,924 --> 00:12:59,713
when I left your house that
night half-naked and crying.
333
00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:01,339
But I never heard from you.
334
00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:04,027
Right, so then I became the last person
335
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:06,636
- like I was originally saying.
- Just...
336
00:13:06,642 --> 00:13:10,033
And, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Look, forget it. Lisa.
337
00:13:10,465 --> 00:13:13,945
I heard something about
you, potentially about us.
338
00:13:14,839 --> 00:13:16,543
And if it's true,
339
00:13:17,035 --> 00:13:19,160
I-I want to be there to...
340
00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,637
see you through.
341
00:13:21,643 --> 00:13:23,666
See me through?
342
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:26,370
Are you pregnant?
343
00:13:26,770 --> 00:13:28,270
I'm not doing this!
344
00:13:28,370 --> 00:13:30,396
You don't get to come here
and ask me your questions
345
00:13:30,402 --> 00:13:32,173
- when you haven't answered any of mine.
- Okay.
346
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:34,354
No, I... Hey, I get that. That's fair.
347
00:13:34,768 --> 00:13:36,364
What are your questions?
348
00:13:36,877 --> 00:13:38,168
[KEYS CLACK]
349
00:13:38,759 --> 00:13:40,564
Did you sleep with your ex-wife?
350
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,360
Wow, just... just s-starting off
351
00:13:42,366 --> 00:13:43,970
- with the big one, huh?
- Did you?
352
00:13:47,759 --> 00:13:49,166
I did, yeah.
353
00:13:50,128 --> 00:13:52,011
Well, that sucks.
354
00:13:54,443 --> 00:13:57,051
So, I was right about you
still having feelings for her.
355
00:13:57,623 --> 00:13:58,923
You were right.
356
00:14:01,012 --> 00:14:02,492
So you admit you lied?
357
00:14:02,498 --> 00:14:03,698
Lisa...
358
00:14:03,704 --> 00:14:04,904
Did you also lie about
359
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:07,210
being able to do two-finger
pushups like Bruce Lee?
360
00:14:07,216 --> 00:14:09,374
No! I used to be able
to do those in college.
361
00:14:09,380 --> 00:14:12,048
I swear! This guy Dan has a tape.
362
00:14:15,442 --> 00:14:17,561
So, are you and Lena
getting back together?
363
00:14:18,152 --> 00:14:19,868
I guess it depends.
364
00:14:22,309 --> 00:14:25,113
- Can I ask you a question now?
- Negative.
365
00:14:25,403 --> 00:14:27,703
Test was negative, so
you're off the hook.
366
00:14:28,194 --> 00:14:29,725
So, you're not pregnant?
367
00:14:29,731 --> 00:14:32,604
Nope. So, there's no
reason for you to be here.
368
00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:34,137
I guess not.
369
00:14:34,212 --> 00:14:35,545
[KEYS CLACK]
370
00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,994
I have one more question.
371
00:14:41,823 --> 00:14:44,110
Do you think you could ever forgive me?
372
00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:49,395
Everything okay?
373
00:14:49,586 --> 00:14:50,990
Yeah, yeah.
374
00:14:51,192 --> 00:14:52,792
Talk to me, girl. What's wrong?
375
00:14:52,861 --> 00:14:55,367
Well... [CLEARS THROAT] it's just...
376
00:14:56,956 --> 00:15:00,266
You know my friend Karen,
my best friend since I was 9?
377
00:15:00,272 --> 00:15:01,575
I think I've told you about her before.
378
00:15:01,581 --> 00:15:05,574
She's allergic to stone fruit,
and she was in the Air Force.
379
00:15:07,475 --> 00:15:09,778
- Capricorn?
- Oh, yeah.
380
00:15:09,854 --> 00:15:12,172
Yeah, I think I remember
Karen. Yeah. How is she doing?
381
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,977
Not good. See, Karen always
wanted to have a baby,
382
00:15:14,983 --> 00:15:16,590
but she never met the right guy.
383
00:15:16,596 --> 00:15:19,047
- Not even in the Air Force?
- No.
384
00:15:19,354 --> 00:15:24,535
So, she decided to use a donor,
which I really admire. Don't you?
385
00:15:24,541 --> 00:15:27,350
Oh, yeah! Totally. I mean, she
took fate into her own hands.
386
00:15:27,356 --> 00:15:29,153
Yes, she did! Yes, that's right,
387
00:15:29,164 --> 00:15:30,447
and it's just so Karen
388
00:15:30,453 --> 00:15:32,261
- if you know her, and I do.
- Mm.
389
00:15:32,267 --> 00:15:33,638
Here's the rub...
390
00:15:33,644 --> 00:15:36,045
a week after she finds
out she's pregnant,
391
00:15:36,142 --> 00:15:39,034
she meets this really great guy.
392
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,536
Ooh, plot twist.
393
00:15:40,542 --> 00:15:42,139
And now she's like, "Maya,
394
00:15:42,145 --> 00:15:44,124
my best friend since I was 9,
395
00:15:44,130 --> 00:15:46,250
do you think that I should tell him?
396
00:15:46,256 --> 00:15:48,759
Do you think that he's
gonna break up with me?"
397
00:15:48,917 --> 00:15:52,117
What do you think, you know,
just from a guy's perspective?
398
00:15:52,123 --> 00:15:53,323
Honestly?
399
00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:55,128
He's definitely gonna dump her.
400
00:15:55,311 --> 00:15:56,704
When Jasper was born,
401
00:15:56,710 --> 00:15:58,783
that little creature just took over...
402
00:15:58,789 --> 00:16:00,392
the bed, the boob. I...
403
00:16:00,398 --> 00:16:03,396
It was all diapers. No date nights.
404
00:16:03,498 --> 00:16:05,577
That's a lot to ask of the average guy,
405
00:16:05,750 --> 00:16:08,382
and add the fact that
it's not even his baby.
406
00:16:08,882 --> 00:16:10,381
Karen doesn't stand a chance.
407
00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:12,042
Mm. She's gonna need our support,
408
00:16:12,048 --> 00:16:13,481
so I definitely want to meet her.
409
00:16:13,487 --> 00:16:15,759
If not tonight, some other time.
410
00:16:16,028 --> 00:16:17,977
You want to meet Karen?
411
00:16:19,368 --> 00:16:22,411
He's been like this
for hours, and watch.
412
00:16:22,417 --> 00:16:26,182
Mason? Can I put another
puppy sticker on your face?
413
00:16:26,269 --> 00:16:28,587
If it's okay, just say nothing.
414
00:16:28,957 --> 00:16:30,566
[SIGHS]
415
00:16:33,163 --> 00:16:35,293
What's wrong with you? Stop doing that.
416
00:16:36,464 --> 00:16:39,653
Mason, sweetheart, what happened?
417
00:16:39,659 --> 00:16:42,268
I did everything she
wanted. It didn't matter.
418
00:16:42,337 --> 00:16:44,052
She snapshattered my heart.
419
00:16:46,278 --> 00:16:48,781
LENA: "All these weights,
but we didn't work out."
420
00:16:48,787 --> 00:16:50,269
Oh, that's pretty clever.
421
00:16:50,275 --> 00:16:53,188
"Clever"? It's not clever. It's cruel.
422
00:16:53,194 --> 00:16:55,221
You know, things can be both.
423
00:16:56,495 --> 00:16:58,868
Mason, honey, I know you're hurting,
424
00:16:58,874 --> 00:17:02,477
and I know things seem scary,
but you don't have to be afraid.
425
00:17:02,891 --> 00:17:06,487
This is your chance to
figure out who you are
426
00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:09,664
outside the confines of a relationship.
427
00:17:10,591 --> 00:17:13,500
You've spent so much time...
428
00:17:14,202 --> 00:17:17,399
- taking care of everyone else.
- I have?
429
00:17:17,405 --> 00:17:22,097
And now it's time for you
to try to take care of you.
430
00:17:22,103 --> 00:17:24,307
Nurture your own interests.
431
00:17:24,313 --> 00:17:26,279
Maybe learn to play an instrument.
432
00:17:26,285 --> 00:17:27,924
- I play piano.
- Or travel.
433
00:17:27,930 --> 00:17:29,611
You've always wanted to see Europe.
434
00:17:29,617 --> 00:17:30,863
I'm a high-school student.
435
00:17:30,869 --> 00:17:34,509
Hey, lady, you, lady
436
00:17:34,515 --> 00:17:37,521
Cursing at your life
437
00:17:37,625 --> 00:17:41,761
You're a discontented mother
438
00:17:41,926 --> 00:17:45,335
And a regimented wife
439
00:17:45,341 --> 00:17:47,229
Okay, she's definitely
talking to herself again.
440
00:17:47,235 --> 00:17:51,220
I've been to paradise
441
00:17:51,226 --> 00:17:56,572
But I've never been to me
442
00:17:57,045 --> 00:17:59,270
Are you having a nervous breakdown?
443
00:17:59,744 --> 00:18:01,109
[PAPER RUSTLES]
444
00:18:01,115 --> 00:18:05,685
445
00:18:05,848 --> 00:18:07,346
- [DOOR OPENS]
- MARTIN: Lena?
446
00:18:08,677 --> 00:18:09,990
Hey, babe...
447
00:18:09,996 --> 00:18:12,488
good news... I spoke to Lisa Apple.
448
00:18:16,568 --> 00:18:17,768
No.
449
00:18:17,774 --> 00:18:19,867
No, no, you promised. You promised.
450
00:18:19,873 --> 00:18:21,253
- You said that you would wait.
- Martin.
451
00:18:21,259 --> 00:18:23,674
Lisa is not pregnant, okay?
452
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:26,365
- There's no obstacle other than...
- Me.
453
00:18:26,566 --> 00:18:28,966
I'll just go right
back to the way I was.
454
00:18:29,265 --> 00:18:30,657
I'll put you first.
455
00:18:30,663 --> 00:18:32,675
I will put you first, too.
456
00:18:32,947 --> 00:18:35,107
Okay, I will put you wherever you want.
457
00:18:35,113 --> 00:18:37,262
You just have to just let
me know where to put you.
458
00:18:37,268 --> 00:18:38,722
I don't want to have to tell you.
459
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,618
And trust me... eventually,
you won't want to be told!
460
00:18:42,624 --> 00:18:44,149
But I don't understand.
461
00:18:44,155 --> 00:18:46,359
You know, everything was fine.
We were getting along great.
462
00:18:46,365 --> 00:18:47,741
We... we just had our honeymoon.
463
00:18:47,747 --> 00:18:49,814
Right, and at some
point, the honeymoon ends
464
00:18:49,820 --> 00:18:51,560
and we're back to the day-to-day,
465
00:18:51,566 --> 00:18:55,501
and... and if I'm being honest...
466
00:18:56,180 --> 00:18:57,411
What?
467
00:18:58,576 --> 00:19:03,272
I spent so long wishing
that you still wanted me,
468
00:19:03,278 --> 00:19:07,871
I think I lost sight of whether
or not I still wanted you.
469
00:19:09,639 --> 00:19:10,839
[SCOFFS]
470
00:19:10,951 --> 00:19:13,277
Okay. Wow.
471
00:19:14,149 --> 00:19:15,448
Like...
472
00:19:15,690 --> 00:19:18,454
Seriously, wow.
473
00:19:18,460 --> 00:19:21,878
Martin, you're the one
who has to wait now.
474
00:19:22,404 --> 00:19:26,494
You have to be patient. I-I
can't just let you choose me.
475
00:19:26,567 --> 00:19:29,676
I need to know that
I'm also choosing you.
476
00:19:30,004 --> 00:19:31,303
You know what?
477
00:19:31,467 --> 00:19:34,096
After 16 years of marriage
and this half-assed divorce,
478
00:19:34,102 --> 00:19:35,999
if you still don't know
how you feel about me,
479
00:19:36,005 --> 00:19:38,768
then... oh, my God, you
nutbag... you never will!
480
00:19:38,774 --> 00:19:42,072
- Martin.
- No, there's nothing left to discuss here, Lena.
481
00:19:42,267 --> 00:19:44,383
This little experiment is over.
482
00:19:44,389 --> 00:19:46,673
- What's that supposed to mean?
- It means that...
483
00:19:46,679 --> 00:19:48,386
I want out of this arrangement.
484
00:19:49,590 --> 00:19:50,982
I want to sell the house.
485
00:19:50,988 --> 00:19:58,359
486
00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:00,287
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
487
00:20:00,293 --> 00:20:07,069
One of us is changing, or
maybe we just stopped trying
488
00:20:09,217 --> 00:20:13,158
So, it looks like Lisa
Apple isn't pregnant.
489
00:20:13,219 --> 00:20:14,714
ARTHUR: Good.
490
00:20:15,510 --> 00:20:17,334
Cute-ass baby, though.
491
00:20:17,340 --> 00:20:19,425
Little head, big glasses.
492
00:20:19,525 --> 00:20:21,725
At least Lena and Martin are back on.
493
00:20:21,827 --> 00:20:24,893
No, looks like that's
not happening, either.
494
00:20:24,899 --> 00:20:26,985
Aw. What a bummer.
495
00:20:26,991 --> 00:20:28,708
You know what's not a bummer?
496
00:20:28,714 --> 00:20:31,631
[LEATHER SQUEAKING]
497
00:20:31,637 --> 00:20:36,273
498
00:20:36,305 --> 00:20:38,906
I feel like I should
like it more than I do.
499
00:20:38,982 --> 00:20:40,182
You sure?
500
00:20:40,188 --> 00:20:42,479
'Cause I'm really
feeling myself right now.
501
00:20:42,485 --> 00:20:45,583
- Really?
- Yeah, I feel like a member of the Night's Watch.
502
00:20:45,589 --> 00:20:48,806
You look like Count Chocula.
It's a nonstarter for me.
503
00:20:49,205 --> 00:20:50,613
You want to have sex?
504
00:20:50,619 --> 00:20:52,218
It might change your mind.
505
00:20:53,815 --> 00:20:57,049
- Pants off, cape on. Yeah.
- Okay, they're leather. I need your help.
506
00:20:57,055 --> 00:21:02,055
Sync & corrections by PetaG
- www.addic7ed.com -
507
00:21:02,105 --> 00:21:06,655
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
37363
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