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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:01,958 It's over. 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,390 I... I can't believe it. 3 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,793 Listen, Richard, we had a great time. 4 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:11,593 Maybe I even loved you but times change. 5 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:14,677 I've got to think about me, about my life. 6 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:17,757 The Guardian want me to write this pop column. 7 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:21,998 I'm going to Fuji to interview the Fugees, Maui for Bowie, Malaga for the Gallaghers. 8 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:24,474 I'm going to be meeting new people. 9 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:26,915 'I just don't think I'll have time for you.' 10 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,912 I'm sorry but I think this is best for both of us. 11 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,076 'In the long run you'll thank me.' 12 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:37,478 'I'm meeting loads of new people and that doesn't leave any room in my life for you.' 13 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,192 'It's over, Daisy.' 14 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,834 It's over... I can't... 15 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:45,396 I can't believe it. 16 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,074 (Phone line goes dead) 17 00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:59,996 18 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,399 Rich has finished with me. 19 00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:18,552 It's hardly surprising. You were getting off with people behind his back. 20 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:19,715 How come he finished with you? 21 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:23,757 Cos I was getting off with people behind his back. 22 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:27,839 - How did he find out? - Well, I told him. Y'know... 23 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,440 You... You told me to tell him. 24 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,600 You said it would clear the air, you know. 25 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,556 Strengthen our relationship. 26 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:39,639 - I didn't mean it! - Oh, you're evil. 27 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:43,349 I'm not the deceiver here. I'm not the cheating harpy! 28 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,436 You're so damaged. 29 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:50,918 Just cos Sarah hurt you, you're wreaking your petty vengeance on womankind. 30 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:52,599 Yes. 31 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:54,159 Yes. 32 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,511 (Shouts) And I'd do it again, I tell you! I'd do it again in an instant! 33 00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:01,792 (Laughs manically) 34 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:05,998 (Smash) 35 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:10,717 Sorry. Sorry. So, um... 36 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:12,796 Are you OK? 37 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:16,992 Yeah, yeah. I'm fine, I s'pose. I mean... 38 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:22,277 It was inevitable really. Neither of us were giving it the time it deserved. 39 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,629 It was... It was my fault. 40 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:26,875 I just... I feel... 41 00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:29,673 - Tim! - What? You said you were fine. 42 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,631 (Knock) 43 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:38,516 Brian? 44 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,236 Brian? 45 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,271 (Shuts door) 46 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,317 Brian? 47 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,510 (Tuts) 48 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,791 (Door opens and closes) 49 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,831 (Crazed laughter) 50 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:58,516 (Creaking) 51 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:03,396 Er, no! Johnny! 52 00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:07,108 Agh! Er... 53 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,071 Oh...! 54 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,190 Help me, I'm stuck. 55 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,754 "Why should I?" this, "Why should I?" that! 56 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:17,270 Why don't you start taking some responsibility in your life? 57 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,232 Leave me alone! 58 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:25,793 Don't think I'm going to tidy it! It'll remain in that state till you return! 59 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:31,233 That's if you return. Quite frankly, I don't give two shits if you come back or not! 60 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:35,036 Ooh! Hello, kitten. Fancy a dab of Rioja? 61 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:36,758 Oh, just a splash. 62 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:42,273 (Birdsong) 63 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:48,551 - Can I borrow a tea bag? - Only if you bring it back. 64 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:53,117 You can have a tea bag, Brian, you can't borrow one. 65 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,231 What are you playing? 66 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,555 Tomb Raider III. 67 00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,716 - (Lara Croft groans) - She's drowning. 68 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:00,795 Yeah. 69 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:04,999 - Is that the point of the game? - Depends what mood you're in, really. 70 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:06,917 What sort of mood you in, then? 71 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:10,350 Well, I just got a letter from my ex-girlfriend, three months late, 72 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,470 explaining why she dumped me. 73 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,796 It was full of "You'll always be special" and "I'll always love you" platitudes 74 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:19,674 designed to make me feel better while appeasing her sense of guilt 75 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:24,475 for running off with a slimy City boy called Duane and destroying my faith in everything. 76 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:28,639 - So it didn't really work, then? - No, it made me wanna drown things! 77 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,795 You've got some paint on you. 78 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:38,589 It's a literal tribute to the self-reflexivity of Rembrandt. 79 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:41,154 - Did he like it? - He's dead. 80 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:45,109 - Bloody hell, that really backfired. - (Lara screams) 81 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,675 Tell me all about it, kitten. 82 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,990 Split up with my boyfriend. 83 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:57,271 Oh, well... I can't say I'm surprised. 84 00:04:57,320 --> 00:05:01,313 I heard Tim shouting at you a couple of nights ago, I was shocked. 85 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:06,078 - What? - "You stupid cow." Something about a key. 86 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:09,192 "You can't shoot straight, you big-titted bitch." 87 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,956 (Laughs) No... No, no, that was Lara Croft. 88 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,350 - Well, it sounded like Tim. - No, it was Tim. 89 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:20,753 He was talking to Lara Croft, a video-game character. He gets very frustrated. 90 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:22,877 Is that what the problem was? 91 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:27,276 - What do you mean? - Is that why you split, he's got no patience? 92 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,475 Shit! 93 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:36,028 "If we pretend we're a couple, this flat could be ours." 94 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,469 "It's madness! It'll never work!" 95 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:42,354 "Trust me, Tim, she'll never find out." 96 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,391 (Mocking) Trust me, Tim, she'll never find out. 97 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:45,793 Shut up! 98 00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,796 Think! Think, think! 99 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:50,354 Think. I'm thinking... 100 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,631 Could Tim and I, could we have... Could we have... 101 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:54,749 There, right in front of you! 102 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,793 - A plate? - Dog! 103 00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:00,638 - A dog! - Yeah, good one(!) 104 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:07,031 - A dog? - A dog. A dog. 105 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,310 Cos... if we had a dog, 106 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:13,990 then it would help us stay together because it would be like having a child, 107 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,874 only hairier, smaller, wilder, quicker, smellier. (Laughs nervously) 108 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,956 I don't see why not. 109 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:24,238 Well... good. I've always wanted a dog actually. 110 00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:25,759 (Mimics dog's bark) 111 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:29,833 All right, mate, yeah. (Laughs) No, I'm really looking forward to it. 112 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,428 We're going to kick some serious ass, mofo. 113 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:36,278 Yeah, all right, I'll see you later. Over and out. 114 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,909 (Pants like a dog) 115 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,157 Who was that? 116 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,873 It was Mike. We're going paintballing later. 117 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,480 - I thought he was banned? - No, only for six months. 118 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,636 How does that poor accountant feel about it? 119 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,995 (Gunfire and shells whistle through air) 120 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,031 I dunno. 121 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,037 (Barks loudly) 122 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:03,750 - What you doing?! - Marsha says that we can have a dog. 123 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:07,236 - What?! - We can have a dog! Isn't that great? 124 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,716 (Barks and growls like a dog) 125 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:15,078 Stop it! What d'you want a dog for, you'll only end up seeing other dogs on the side? 126 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,714 (Whines) Don't you want to get a dog? 127 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,832 - No. - Why not? What are you frightened of? 128 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,440 I'm not frightened of anything, why would I be frightened? 129 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,268 ( Roobarb and Custard Theme) 130 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,591 (Screams) 131 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:33,469 (Barking) 132 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,270 You're scared of them, aren't you? 133 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:43,198 - No. - Yes, you are. 134 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,913 All right, I had a minor phobia when I was a kid. 135 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,996 - How minor? - I had to have counselling. 136 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:50,190 Really? Sorry. 137 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:55,598 She said I had canophobia. I thought "Great, now I'm frightened of bamboo too." 138 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,154 - How many times did you go? - Three or four. 139 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,395 It started to work, you know. 140 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,591 She said I had as much chance of being struck by lightning 141 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:05,631 as I had of being bitten by a dog. 142 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,191 So... what's the problem? 143 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:12,392 Well, I was leaving the practice one day, feeling really well-adjusted and happy, 144 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:15,910 and this fucking great Alsatian came haring down the road towards me, 145 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:19,953 jaws slung with bloody slaver, eyes lit by the fires of Hades' eternal damned kingdom. 146 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,319 It leapt into the air, 147 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:25,831 I remember thinking "This is it, I'm seven years old and this is the end." 148 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,713 Fortunately, Lady Luck was smiling at me that day. 149 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,990 - What happened? - I got struck by lightning. 150 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:34,430 - What?! - It hurt but it scared the shit out of the dog. 151 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:38,234 - Now you're scared of dogs and lightning? - And bamboo. 152 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,196 It's funny, really. 153 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,391 I always really wanted a dog when I was... little. 154 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,590 But I wasn't allowed one. 155 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:48,675 Really? 156 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,359 (Barking) 157 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,996 Play with me! 158 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,712 Oh, please play with me, please! 159 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,116 I don't know, Daisy. 160 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:05,755 Look, I know I've sprung this on you, you know? 161 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:09,998 If you don't like it, I'll understand. But... 162 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:12,634 I really need this, you know? 163 00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:16,992 I mean... I'll do everything for it, you know? 164 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:22,394 I'll feed it and I'll walk it and I'll... I'll change its little hutch. 165 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:25,591 And if you still don't like it, then, well... 166 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,637 we'll kill it. 167 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,431 - All right. - Wahoo! 168 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,233 - But not a big one. - All right. (Growls) Sorry! 169 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:38,670 Sorry, sorry. It could be good for you, it could be the turning point. 170 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:40,915 It might help you conquer your fear. 171 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,155 Stop trying to get your own way 172 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,670 by turning everything into a psychodrama that somehow benefits me, OK? 173 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:50,998 I am my own person. I will deal with my problems in whatever way I see fit. 174 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,508 Aagghh! Get away from me! 175 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:56,677 Heads and tails, heads and tails, heads and tails 176 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,957 Heads and tails, heads and tails, heads and tails 177 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,751 (Barking) 178 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:04,791 I can't believe you brought me here. 179 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,308 - It's great, isn't it? - It smells. 180 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,237 - Twist! - It smells. 181 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:10,554 - Hi! - Hello. 182 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:14,630 I'm Daisy Steiner, this is my friend, Twist. 183 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,148 - Twist. - Mm. My parents were hippies. 184 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,634 I see. What can I do for you? 185 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:23,840 - We'd like to buy a dog. - You'd like to buy a dog. 186 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:25,871 Yes, I'd like to buy a dog. 187 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,197 Yes, erm... there. 188 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,431 Have you owned a dog before? 189 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:34,311 Mm... sort of. 190 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,396 Sort of? 191 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,113 ( Animal Magic Theme) 192 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,915 Come on, boy! 193 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,032 (Whispers) No. 194 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:49,633 Now, I want you to think very carefully before you choose a dog. 195 00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:54,993 Can I afford to keep it? Will I be able to take it for walks twice a day, if not more? 196 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,600 Can I give it a secure, loving home? 197 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,431 Um... 198 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,039 yes. 199 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:05,269 (Sneezes) 200 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,311 ( Military drumming) 201 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:13,552 OK, number one, don't eat the paintballs. 202 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:15,633 Number two, this is just a game. 203 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,753 If you take it too seriously, you're only gonna be hurting yourself. 204 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,074 It's not war, 205 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:24,439 it's just an exercise in teamwork and tactics. 206 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:27,517 You go too far, you will get banned. 207 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:28,591 Eh! 208 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,597 Groovy! 209 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,512 Shit. 210 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:37,755 Oh! 211 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:39,555 (Daisy) Oh. 212 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,194 He's been with us a while now. 213 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,834 - ( Dance Of The Suger Plum Fairy) - It's his last day here. 214 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,075 Why, somebody bought him? 215 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:49,509 Dogs only stay with us for a limited period. 216 00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:53,838 - Where do they go after that? - Heaven? 217 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,996 A gay club?! 218 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:58,713 No, Miss Steiner. We put them down. 219 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,473 All of them. 220 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,709 No! 221 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,751 (Daisy wails) 222 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,030 No! No! No! 223 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,239 Come on, Colin, we're taking you away from this place! 224 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,840 - Colin? - That's what I called my box. 225 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:15,871 ( Military drumming) 226 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:30,270 Hi, Dom, yeah. This is Duane Benzie. 227 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:34,677 This is Duane Benzie. (Echoes) How you doing? 228 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,071 ( Baywatch Theme) 229 00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,551 (Laughter) 230 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,079 Tim, your girlfriend's very beautiful. 231 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,111 (Laughs nervously) 232 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,237 ( Psycho Theme) 233 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,391 Tim, hi. I didn't expect to see you here. 234 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,352 You never struck me as the outdoor type. 235 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,469 What? 236 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:16,353 That reminds me. You left some stuff at the flat. 237 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,960 Well, I think it's your stuff. 238 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,197 The bag was full of comics and toys. 239 00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:26,439 I was thinking maybe I'd drop it round in the car, save you the trip. 240 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,751 You stole my girlfriend. 241 00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:32,477 (Sighs) Tim, now come on. 242 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:34,711 I didn't want it to be like this. 243 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:38,719 It wasn't meant to be personal. You don't choose who you fall in love with. 244 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:40,591 When you get that feeling, it's like... 245 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:45,031 - (Huskily) Sexual. - Like a force beyond your control. 246 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,270 You know what they say about love and war? 247 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:52,110 Yeah, one involves a lot of physical and psychological pain and the other one's war. 248 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:54,799 Talking of which, what team are you on, A or B? 249 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,831 Er, we're B. 250 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:02,033 Me too. Looks like we'll be fighting side by side. 251 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:06,035 Who knows, maybe that's what we need. 252 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,231 (Mimics gun going off) 253 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,751 Later. 254 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:18,432 I've rehearsed that moment a thousand times. 255 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:21,836 - Is that the first time you've seen him since... - Yes. 256 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:23,108 I think I was pretty cool. 257 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:27,199 I could have flown off the handle, smashed his face in, set fire to him, but I didn't. 258 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:31,074 - What will you do when you see him next? - I'm gonna set fire to him. 259 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,711 (Coos) Hello! Hello! Hello! 260 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:38,833 Ahh! Now, you stay there! You stay there! 261 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:41,314 Mummy's going to make a cup of tea. 262 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:45,239 Ahh! We're gonna be best friends. We're gonna have such fun. 263 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,989 Ahh! Do you want something to eat? - Yes, please. 264 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,709 - Where is it, then? - (Gasps) 265 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,432 The little dog? 266 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:56,671 (Squeaks) 267 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:58,991 The bandanna, isn't it? It makes me look stupid. 268 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,998 - Ahh! - Do you want me to take it off? 269 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:05,953 - C-Colin. - No, Daisy, it's Brian. 270 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,150 I think you're sitting on my dog. 271 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,037 Oh, my God. 272 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:17,072 Look, I'll count to three... 273 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:19,751 and then stand up. 274 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:22,030 - OK? - I can't watch. 275 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:23,559 One... 276 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,033 two... 277 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:30,430 three. 278 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:31,879 Go! Go! Go! 279 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,834 Agh! (Laughs manically) 280 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:45,312 - The flag's to the northwest. - How do you know? 281 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,395 I've just seen it. 282 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:49,273 - Oh, this is so exciting! - Is this your first time, kid? 283 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,356 - I'm 36. - Is this your first time, old man? 284 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:54,073 Yeah. I've always fancied myself as a bit of a soldier. 285 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,111 - I've always fancied myself. - I've always fancied you. 286 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,149 Not here. 287 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,111 - Have you ever done this before? - You could say that. 288 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:00,559 What do you mean? 289 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:05,037 Let's just say the last time I was in this situation, I wasn't using a paintball gun. 290 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,514 You've seen combat? Where? 291 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,551 Erm... on the television. 292 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:13,115 You said the last time you were in this situation you didn't use a paintball gun. 293 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:15,151 - He didn't. - What did you use? 294 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,077 It was a big stick. 295 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,236 - I'm going for the flag. - You shouldn't do that. 296 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:22,352 We're deep in enemy territory, we've got to choose our moment carefully. 297 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:26,757 This place is swarming with A's, they're not just in the jungle, they are the jungle. 298 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,836 What do you think this is, Vietnam? 299 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,110 Yeah. 300 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,431 Son of a bitch! 301 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:48,595 He didn't mean it! He didn't mean it! You didn't mean it. 302 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,438 Say (High voice) "I didn't mean it, Colin." 303 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:55,031 - I didn't mean it, Colin. - No, like I said it. 304 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:57,671 (High voice) I didn't mean it, Colin. 305 00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,711 There. Yes, good boy! 306 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,031 He's beautiful. 307 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,116 Reminds me of my own dog, Pompom. 308 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:07,835 - I didn't know you had a dog. - As a child, yeah. 309 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:10,553 Used to spend hours playing together in the garden. 310 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:14,593 I'd dress him up in period costumes and take amusing photographs. 311 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:16,631 Loved him so much. 312 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:18,796 It was tragic, really. 313 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:20,519 Why? 314 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:22,915 One day we were playing in the street, 315 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:27,397 I was taking some pictures of him dressed as an Elizabethan merchant. 316 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,478 Suddenly, something caught his eye. 317 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,309 Maybe it was a stray tomcat 318 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:37,750 or a brightly coloured ball bouncing out of sight, 319 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,995 or maybe the stick I threw. 320 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,918 He ran out into the main road, 321 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:47,038 exploded under an articulated lorry. 322 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:49,511 He blew up? 323 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:55,715 No, the weight of the truck on his frail body burst him like a cheap party balloon, 324 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:58,149 sending his ruff forty feet into the air. 325 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,511 There, you see? 326 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,909 Such vibrant colours. 327 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:09,519 (Groaning) 328 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:13,190 That paintball was meant for me, he's made this personal. 329 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,231 He made it personal when he slept with your girlfriend. 330 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,111 Now he's made it more personal. 331 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,196 Doesn't get more personal than sleeping with your girlfriend. 332 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:20,593 For Christ's sake, Mike! 333 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,632 Have you ever considered thinking about what you're gonna say before you say it? 334 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:27,468 Perhaps you could set up a checkpoint to vet your thoughts for insensitivity. 335 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:31,911 You hate me. You're only going out with me cos of what happened when we were little. 336 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:33,439 Oh! 337 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,399 Mike! 338 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,155 Mike? 339 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:44,512 Mike! 340 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:49,313 You know, Daisy, this is gonna be a big responsibility. 341 00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:52,352 Dogs are like kids: Want, want, want. 342 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,473 He is a little life. 343 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,150 He has needs. 344 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,159 I know, Marsha, I do, I really do. 345 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:07,079 I'm not just gonna discard him as soon as he's served his purpose. 346 00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:11,113 He's a living thing, he's not just some kind of novelty toy. 347 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,751 (Flash) Come on, little Colin, dance for me! 348 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,268 Ha, ha, ha! Dance! 349 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:20,437 Yes, come on, Colin, dance, dance! 350 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:23,836 - Dance, dance, dance, dance... - (Laughs manically) 351 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:27,395 - Oh! - Dance for me! Dance! 352 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,749 - Dance! - Ha! Ha! Ha! 353 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,871 Mike. 354 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:38,511 Mike. 355 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:42,239 Mike. 356 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:46,831 Mike. 357 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,872 (Mobile rings) 358 00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:53,873 - (Mobile continues ringing) - Saved by the bell. 359 00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:58,556 - Aren't you gonna answer that? - I've got an answering service. 360 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:03,151 - You've got an answer for everything. - I can't believe you just said that. 361 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,191 Neither can... (Splutters) 362 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,231 Neither can I. 363 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:11,154 Tim, firing these guns at such close range is very dangerous. 364 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:14,476 - You were just about to shoot me. - In the back of the head, yeah. 365 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,318 In the face, it's a lot different. 366 00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:23,071 Look, if we're gonna do this, let's at least be sporting about it. 367 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,869 What do you say, 20 paces? 368 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,358 - OK. - OK. 369 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,511 Ha! 370 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,239 Oh. 371 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,792 Ha, ha, ha. 372 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:56,910 You see, Tim, 373 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,679 that's the difference between you and I. 374 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,674 Organisation. 375 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,029 Careful thinking. 376 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:07,195 Forward planning. 377 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,835 That is why I sleep in the arms of a beautiful woman 378 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,678 and you spend your evenings alone in your bedsit. 379 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:17,992 With cheap porn. 380 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,270 (Yells) Timmmmy! 381 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:39,476 It's not a bedsit. 382 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:40,794 It's a flat. 383 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:43,719 Aarrgghh! 384 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:44,749 Yes! 385 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,160 No, Mike! Mike! 386 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,711 Mike! Oh, Jesus, no! 387 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,672 (Sobs) Medic! 388 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,637 Is that you, Tim? 389 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,875 I'm here, man, just hold on, hold on! 390 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:00,797 I'm tired, Tim. 391 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:04,873 Just, er... (Sobs) Everything's gonna be fine, I promise. 392 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:09,199 (Sobs) I'm sorry I said those things, I just... I wasn't thinking straight. 393 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:12,789 I can say pretty stupid things myself, sometimes. 394 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,832 Oh, Mike, I'm the stupid one, I've always been the stupid one. 395 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,599 (Sobs) What you laughing at? 396 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,108 I guess I got to be the hero after all. 397 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,549 Yeah, I guess you did. 398 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,629 I've gotta... I've gotta sleep. 399 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,477 No, no, Mike, stay with me! 400 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,193 - I'm so tired. - No, Mike! 401 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,674 - Bye, old friend. - No, Mike! 402 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,711 (Splutters) 403 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,717 No! 404 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,792 - I really enjoyed that today. - Me too. 405 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:50,593 - You always enjoy it. - I enjoyed it more than usual. 406 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:52,631 (Laughter) 407 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:55,754 I feel cleansed. It's been a really good day. 408 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:59,076 That, my friend, is the beauty of simulated violence. 409 00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:03,113 Let's pick up Daisy and go down the pub. I haven't got a care in the world. 410 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:07,199 - (Thunder) - Hey, viano tormenty. 411 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,231 What did you say? 412 00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:10,679 I said there's a storm coming. 413 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:13,271 (Rumble of thunder) 414 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:54,872 ( Dramatic choral) 415 00:23:55,950 --> 00:24:05,992 416 00:24:06,042 --> 00:24:10,592 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31324

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