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1
00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:02,431
(Door creaks)
2
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,511
(Moaning)
3
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:37,713
You want a piece of me? Come get some.
4
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:46,711
(Moaning)
5
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:48,639
Heads up.
6
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:50,432
(Splatter)
7
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,392
(Moaning)
8
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,398
Oh, shit!
9
00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:01,151
- Oh, hiya.
- Don't sneak up on me like that!
10
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,794
Ooohh! Do you want a cup of tea?
11
00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:05,558
Yes.
12
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:13,750
- Aarrghh!
- (Moaning)
13
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:25,963
14
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:36,315
- There's your tea.
- Thank you.
15
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:38,794
- You're up early.
- I haven't been to bed.
16
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:42,310
Me and Mike met up with two Scottish guys
in the pub and they gave us cheap speed.
17
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:44,635
Oh, Tim, that's so tacky.
18
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:46,716
I know. They were so nice.
19
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:50,036
If we'd have said no, they'd have got offended
and beaten us to death with a pool cue.
20
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,593
Where's Mike now?
21
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,235
(Makes motorbike noises)
22
00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,271
Is there any post?
23
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:04,108
- I did hear droppage.
- I'm gonna go and get my rejection letters.
24
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:05,354
(Wailing)
25
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:09,033
I met this really, really nice girl last night.
26
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:12,630
Shh! I'm supposed to be your girlfriend.
27
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:16,713
- Marsha might hear.
- Don't be daft!
28
00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:20,878
- You never know who's listening.
- Nobody's listening.
29
00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:25,711
- You never know who's listening.
- Nobody's listening.
30
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,118
(Sighs)
31
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,868
So who was this girl, then?
32
00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:36,313
Her name was Cassandra, she was
a psychic, she gave me her phone number.
33
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,750
That's our phone number.
34
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:41,510
Man, she's good.
35
00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,830
(Sighs loudly) Rejection, rejection, rejection.
36
00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:49,678
This is shit! This is so shit!
37
00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:54,989
I'm a good writer, you know?
All I want is a chance to prove it.
38
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:57,031
Yeah? Too much to ask?
39
00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:01,517
(Sniffs) Oh, I really miss my boyfriend.
40
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,358
I'm gonna go to Hull to see Richard.
41
00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:08,269
Don't try and stop me, Tim. OK?
I really need this.
42
00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:11,952
Oh! It's from Flaps!
43
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,150
- Who?
- The woman's magazine.
44
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:17,158
I've got an interview today!
I'd better get ready.
45
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:21,398
- What about Richard?
- Who? Right, I'm gonna go to the shops.
46
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:23,908
- Do you want anything?
- Porn!
47
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,473
Tim, I'm not gonna buy you porn.
48
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:28,353
You can get it from railway sidings
like everybody else.
49
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,597
I can't, I'm an adult.
I'm supposed to leave it there.
50
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:33,631
(Shooting and moaning)
51
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,479
Oh, hi, Bri!
52
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,633
- (Shooting and moaning)
- Brought your mop back.
53
00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:49,510
- (Moaning)
- What are you playing?
54
00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:53,189
It's a subtle blend of lateral thinking
and extreme violence.
55
00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,988
What, like It's A Knockout?
56
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:00,871
Did you want something?
57
00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:04,148
No. Not really.
58
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,710
Oh, there's a letter here for you.
Came yesterday.
59
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:10,997
It's open.
60
00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:16,717
Yeah. I opened it by accident
because we've both got I's in our names.
61
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,798
(Ticking)
62
00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:31,030
(Ticking stops)
63
00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:37,470
- It's from Vulva.
- Is that another woman's magazine?
64
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:40,876
Vulva, it's an old friend.
She's having a show tonight.
65
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,275
You've got a friend called Vulva?
Who's called Vulva?
66
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:46,710
- Her real name's lan.
- What do you mean her real name's lan?
67
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,672
- She's non-gender specific.
- What, you mean he's a tranny?
68
00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:52,473
- More than that.
- What, a big, fat tranny?
69
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:59,198
Vulva. We had a multimedia performance-art
partnership before she moved on.
70
00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:04,394
Such aesthetic wonders. Such vibrant times.
71
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:06,158
Yeah, I can imagine.
72
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:18,234
No. No, no. We did valuable work.
73
00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:29,989
She was the beautiful one, really.I just danced to her tune.
74
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:32,471
It was purity.
75
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:37,640
It was physical. Not in a sexual sense,
no, we were collaborative.
76
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:42,999
I don't expect you to understand. Most people
don't want to hear, they just switch off.
77
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:47,113
It's hard to hear the story of a love affair
between two straight men,
78
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:51,199
one of whom is the most divine woman alive.
79
00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:55,519
(Sighs) So, are you gonna go?
80
00:05:55,560 --> 00:06:00,270
- I don't know, I haven't seen her for ages.
- No, I meant are you gonna go now?
81
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:03,271
Oh, yeah.
82
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:12,192
Research, research, research, research,research, research, research.
83
00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:21,154
Clothes, clothes, ideas, clothes...
84
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:28,953
Clothes, ideas, photographers... and... ooh!
85
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:38,231
(Moaning)
86
00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:43,911
Right.
87
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:46,997
Current affairs, right. Ooh, current affairs.
88
00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:49,157
OK. What do you think about...
89
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,237
What do you think about current affairs,
Daisy?
90
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:57,352
What do I think about them?
Erm, well, I like them. I think they're good.
91
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,391
Right. What shall I wear?
92
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,989
- I think you should dress like a lesbian.
- How do lesbians dress?
93
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,076
Kind of like Suzi Quatro?
94
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,080
It's not really a lesbian magazine.
95
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:11,756
It's more for modern, go-getting women
with something to say, women like...
96
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:14,553
- Suzi Quatro?
- No! Like me.
97
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:19,390
I'm not sure if I should go casual or strappy.
Reliable and frumpy or stupid and glamorous.
98
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,032
Why don't you go something in-between?
99
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,150
- Frumpy and stupid.
- Save you getting ready.
100
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:27,352
- Tim, I'm serious! This is important, I've...
- Look! Daisy...
101
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:30,631
Daisy, Daisy, Daisy.
102
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,871
It's gonna be OK.
103
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:39,517
Now have a big toke on this South African
drugs-reefer-style spliff doobie.
104
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:43,030
I dunno. Might make me paranoid.
105
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,355
(Sighs) Oh, all right.
106
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:51,879
(Gasps)
107
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,750
(
Music from Psycho)
108
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,268
- (Loud ticking)
- (Gasps)
109
00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:02,915
- (Gasps)
- You all right?
110
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:05,711
Yeah.
111
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,951
(
Chirpy '60s pop)
112
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,997
I nearly didn't make it. I was followed
most of the way here by a squirrel.
113
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,429
Must have seen it six or seven times.
114
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:31,356
- Maybe it was six or seven different squirrels.
- (Laughs)
115
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,878
- I like your shoes.
- They're Patrick Cox's.
116
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,559
Oh, right. Borrowed them. Yeah.
117
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,591
Small feet for a bloke.
118
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:47,432
(Laughs) Oh, give Josh a big kiss for me.
See you Saturday. Daisy Steiner?
119
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:53,795
Hiya, Linda! Be with you in a minute.
Love the shoes. Patrick Cox's?
120
00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:54,909
(Mouths)
121
00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:00,748
Maybe you should try buying your own shoes
in future.
122
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,512
Hello, Vulva.
123
00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:17,630
So... come.
124
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,631
Hi.
125
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,319
Erm...
126
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:25,234
Hello! Shit.
127
00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,431
Hello, Vulva.
128
00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,313
Yeah, hi, Vulva. Nice invitation.
129
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,432
Mm?! Oh, yeah, yeah. Hi, Vulva.
130
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,358
Vulva! Hi! How are you? How?
131
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:47,393
How are you? How are you?How... are... you?
132
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:50,512
Brian, painter. Damien... Damien?
133
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:52,516
Damien Hirst, hi, it's Brian.
134
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:55,074
Vulva, I'm talking to Damien.
135
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,157
Is it water with the sheep in the box?
136
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,875
No, I paint. Lots of work with... paint.
137
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:05,435
I do big... big... big...
138
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,756
Fucking loser. Yeah, yeah, big loser.
139
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,950
Brian, painter, loser.
140
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,356
Big, fucking... loser!
141
00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:16,954
Just...
142
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:21,829
- Take a seat.
- (Heartbeat)
143
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:26,994
Daisy, is it?
144
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,679
Ah. Like a little flower.
145
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:32,393
- (Laughs)
- Right, I'm Yolanda.
146
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:35,830
This is Tracy, who is our stylist,
and Catherine who is Head of Marketing,
147
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,872
and you've already met Sarah,
she's Administration.
148
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:42,959
The position requires you to work closely
with Michelle and Tara
149
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,390
who are busy working on features
for our first edition
150
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,510
which we're aiming to get out
by the end of the month.
151
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,949
We've started our launch campaign,
have you seen it?
152
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,991
(Heartbeat stops)
153
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:55,554
- I'm sorry.
- Have you seen the launch campaign?
154
00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:58,957
Yes.
155
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:02,390
Our magazine reflects the needs
of today's women.
156
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:05,238
We want it big, hard and we want it now.
157
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:08,158
I knew I should have boughtHuge Fat Cocks.
158
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,397
We need to know whether you feel,
as someone working for our magazine,
159
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,716
you could honestly and intelligently
reflect the needs of our demographic...
160
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:15,670
(
Magic Roundabout)
161
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:17,756
...the 20-40-year-old-woman
who doesn't say no,
162
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:22,999
who sees her home interiors
the same way she sees her life...
163
00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:26,430
(
Magic Roundabout drowns speech)
164
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,999
...spunk!
165
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:33,158
We don't want you to pigeonhole yourself
but would you call yourself a postfeminist?
166
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:34,872
Um...?
167
00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:37,753
Let me put it this way,
do you drink pints or shots?
168
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:42,309
Well, I do drink a pint, I will drink a pint,
169
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:46,148
but I've been known to drink
a vodka and tonic, you know,
170
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,998
at a wedding, or...
171
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:52,152
Well... thanks for coming.
172
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,589
It's been really useful.
173
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,796
(Sighs) Right, well...
174
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:05,480
Girl power!
175
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,630
Don't write me off, Vulva.
176
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,597
I can be...
177
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:14,518
conceptual.
178
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:17,718
(Laughs) I'm sorry, Brian.
179
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,794
- Please.
- It's your work.
180
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:26,597
Abstract expressionism
is so mid-to-late '80s. (Laughs)
181
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,200
(Whoops of laughter)
182
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,071
(Laughter echoes)
183
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,951
(Flicks light switch)
184
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:48,396
'There's no reason for us to stay
any longer than necessary.'
185
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:55,113
'Let's split up, look for any survivors
and get out of here.'
186
00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:01,272
- (Sighs)
- Hey!
187
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:06,755
- How did it go?
- Yeah, great. It went well, actually.
188
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,473
- Anyone phone?
- Your boyfriend.
189
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:12,512
- Anyone important?
- No.
190
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,355
(Sighs loudly)
191
00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:20,716
You know when you said it went well?
192
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,035
Well, when you said "well",
193
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:27,550
- did you mean shite?
- Yes.
194
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:32,668
I froze up. I just... made a tit of myself.
195
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:34,233
How much of a tit?
196
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,033
I said..."girl power".
197
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:42,951
Did you do this?
198
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,199
Yes.
199
00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:51,590
Well, I mean, you know,
you might have impressed them.
200
00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:53,313
How?
201
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,711
- Tim!
- Yeah, I'm thinking.
202
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,752
Oh, shit! Shitting shit it!
203
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:04,510
Oh, don't be so dramatic, you don't know for
definite you haven't got it. They might phone.
204
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:06,551
(Phone rings)
205
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,113
Well, pick it up, then!
206
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:15,874
Hello? Oh, hi, Mike. Yeah, he's here,
I'll just get him. It's your boyfriend.
207
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,911
He's not my boyfriend.
208
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:19,917
- Hi, babe.
209
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,031
- Hello, Timmy.
- 'Where are you? '
210
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,355
- Er, Sheffield.
- What are you doing in Sheffield?
211
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,710
- Fell asleep on the tube.
- The tube doesn't go to Sheffield.
212
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:33,437
- Yeah, I must have changed at King's Cross.
- Well, don't fall asleep on the way back, OK?
213
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,436
- (Snores)
- 'Mike? '
214
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,755
Mike!
215
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:43,152
What is it with you two?
You sound like his dad sometimes.
216
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:47,716
Well, it's a long story.
217
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:55,311
(Phone rings)
218
00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,393
(Phone rings)
219
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,590
Hello? Brian?
220
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,915
No, he's the weirdo downstairs.
221
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:07,919
Oh! Sorry, Brian! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come up. OK, bye.
222
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,393
Brian's coming up.
223
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:10,634
Why did he phone?
224
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:14,309
I don't know,
why did he paint his arse blue last week?
225
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:18,114
- You don't like him, do you?
- I do, I just think he's a bit pretentious.
226
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,231
How do I look?
227
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,794
- A bit pretentious?
- I think you look lovely, Brian.
228
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,479
Do you think I should lose the waistcoat?
229
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:29,672
I think you should burn it, cos, you know,
if you lose it, you might find it again.
230
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,391
Are you going out, Bri?
231
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,318
Yeah, he's gonna see
his transsexual ex-boy-girlfriend's new play.
232
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:39,990
Oh, that sounds great! Oh, we'll come!
You'll come, won't you, Tim?
233
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,634
- No way, it's not my cup of tea.
- No, it isn't.
234
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,069
Oh, come on, Bri, it'll be great, it'll be fun.
235
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:49,272
You'll hate it. It's just a bit of art,
load of wankers, influential people.
236
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,470
- Free booze, though!
- Mm, yeah.
237
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,114
OK, let's go to the theatre.
238
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:56,469
You can come if you want
but you probably won't get in.
239
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,348
There's three of us,
we've only got one invitation.
240
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,631
That's OK. Go on, in you go.
There's not that many here.
241
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:07,674
- They haven't got tickets.
- Look, mate, I've told you, you can go in.
242
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,711
It's ridiculous, they haven't even been invited.
243
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,991
Just leave it, Brian.
Let's just go in, it'll be fine.
244
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:16,555
We're not gonna embarrass you,
we're here if you need us.
245
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,716
OK. Sorry. Sorry.
246
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:30,716
Hello!
247
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,716
- Shit!
- Hi!
248
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,433
- What you doin' here?
- Oh, we just came with Brian.
249
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:37,072
Oh, how wonderful!
250
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:41,238
- So how's it all goin' with the flat?
- It's fine.
251
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:45,558
Sorry, you come here for a big night out
and there's your landlady spying on you.
252
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,272
(Forced laugh)
253
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,718
Hello, Brian.
Haven't seen you for a long while.
254
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,352
Been painting.
255
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,834
You've just been trying to avoid me,
haven't ya?
256
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:01,397
- (Bell rings)
- The show's starting.
257
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,231
(Desolate wind)
258
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,391
(Snores)
259
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:21,192
(
Trumpets)
260
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,708
- Hey!
- Sh!
261
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:27,798
Macro...
262
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,792
biotic!
263
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:32,948
Dust me clean!
264
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:37,275
A breath... alizer!
265
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:40,790
Using... a cleaning spray.
266
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:42,998
Knee...
267
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,429
- jerk!
- Suck it in!
268
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,710
Filter it out!
269
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,478
Go on!
270
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,358
(Frenzied beats and manic laughter)
271
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:59,912
Arrrhhhh...
272
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,349
Beautiful. Beautiful.
273
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:07,273
I cannot believe I said "girl power".
274
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:10,680
Hey, deadhead! Take a bite of peach.
275
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,875
(Gunshot and moaning)
276
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:15,396
(Wails)
277
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,991
Hearing...
278
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:26,870
aidzz.
279
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,357
Fade...
280
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,315
out!
281
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:37,831
(Ripple of applause)
282
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,635
It's not finished!
283
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:45,829
- It's finished.
- (Applause)
284
00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:01,159
- Do you mind if I put my glass there?
- It's a free country.
285
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,595
I thought... you were brilliant.
286
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:09,634
- And who are you, then?
- I'm Daisy Steiner, writer, sort of journalist.
287
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:12,752
Do you know any famous
or important people?
288
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,995
My mum's cousin
went to school with Enya.
289
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:18,077
She was in the year above
but they had the same percussion teacher.
290
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,478
I hate your mum and I hate you.
291
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,954
That's brilliant. Brilliant!
292
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:32,031
- Vulva, hi.
- Brian! You came!
293
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:36,039
- Wouldn't have missed it for the world.
- Are you still painting?
294
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:39,629
Not exclusively.
I'm moving into multimedia pastures -
295
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:44,834
installations, a platter of organic processes
mixed with a pinch of irony
296
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,713
and a side helping of self-deprecation.
297
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:49,990
Sounds delicious!
298
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,156
You should see what's for pudding.
299
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,191
(Laughs loudly)
300
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:56,990
(Exaggerated laughter)
301
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,949
Oh, Brian, you came.
302
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,797
No, I just spilt my drink.
303
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:12,310
So nice to see you. Are you still painting?
304
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:15,511
N-not... er... multimedia...
305
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:20,190
platters... irony and self-deprecation.
306
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,879
Sounds a little hard to swallow.
307
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,672
There's... there's pudding.
308
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:28,429
Pud-ding! I always loved your quirkiness.
309
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:31,517
You must be able to see I've moved on.
310
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,028
The projects I've been working on
with Hoover
311
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,958
are the most incisive and effective
I've ever done.
312
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,959
I can't believe some of the shit
I used to do with you.
313
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:45,835
That's the difference between you and me,
Brian, I could always see into the distance,
314
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:50,271
you, it has to be said,
were always a little short-sighted.
315
00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:55,638
Anyway, we're having a postmortem
at the Squid and Mashed Potato.
316
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,148
(Voice distorts)
I suppose you could tag along.
317
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:04,192
You make your mind up
and maybe I'll see you later.
318
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:09,675
- (Hissing)
- (
Music from Psycho)
319
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,598
Now, come on! There's no need for us
to be here any longer than necessary.
320
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,870
Let's split up, look for survivors
and get out of here!
321
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:24,600
I'm writing a novel, poetry, articles,
short stories, children's book.
322
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:27,672
- Ooh, and I'm doing a skydiving course.
- Look, piss off, will ya?
323
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,233
- Come on!
- What are you doing?
324
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,236
- I'm saving us!
- This is Hoover.
325
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,396
- Ahh!
- (Moans)
326
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,237
Bye.
327
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,159
(Marsha) Bye, then.
328
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:39,952
I'll see you later.
329
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:43,158
- (Moaning)
- Aagghh!
330
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,233
(Snores)
331
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:50,755
- So beautiful.
- Yeah.
332
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:55,152
Like a... kind of visual poetry.
333
00:21:56,600 --> 00:22:00,070
- Wish I could do that.
- Well, I'm sure you could if you had funding.
334
00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:03,396
Right hook... bang.
335
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,432
- What?
- I should have done it long ago, Daisy?
336
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:10,792
In his drunken, childish way, Tim saved me.
337
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:16,195
Talk about expression, talk about the truth,
338
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:22,190
but what truer expression is there
than the purity of the clenched fist?
339
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,514
I am a man, Daisy.
340
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,037
A man!
341
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:31,118
Vulva treated me like a monkey!
342
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:34,118
I'm more than that, I am a man!
343
00:22:34,360 --> 00:22:36,351
A monkey-man!
344
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:40,792
A beast with a mind, and a mind, and fists!
345
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:45,436
And I will not be subdued again,
not by Vulva, not by anyone!
346
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:49,319
Hey, fella!
347
00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:51,078
- Ngh!
- (Whimpers)
348
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:58,029
(Cock crows and door slams)
349
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,518
Morning, slugger. Any letters?
350
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,551
I don't know.
351
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:09,239
Agh!
352
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:15,269
- How do you feel?
- Oh, like I'm gonna die.
353
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:18,596
- Oh, me too.
- So what happened last night?
354
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:22,110
We went to see
an interesting piece of contemporary theatre,
355
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:26,278
we drank an enormous amount of free wine,
we ate our body weight in Twiglets
356
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,436
and you punched an artist in the face.
357
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:30,677
Shit.
358
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,915
- I'm not supposed to eat Twiglets.
- Why not?
359
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,554
They make me violent.
360
00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:39,351
It's from the magazine.
361
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:43,234
Maybe they did like me.
Maybe they liked my kookiness.
362
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,475
I could be like the cute one in the office,
you know?
363
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,557
The ditzy one who always gets it wrong,
the office clown.
364
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,034
I'd be like "Ooh, Yolanda, I've lost the file."
365
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:54,231
She'd say "That's all right, Daisy,
we just like having you around,
366
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,716
cos you're crazy and wild,
an asset to the office dynamic."
367
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,634
- It's a no.
- Oh, well, never mind.
368
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:05,912
Who needs them anyway, Daisy?
What do they know? They're just jealous.
369
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:09,270
- Of what?
- Your tits?
370
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,949
It's not about my tits any more, Tim.
I wish it were.
371
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:14,433
It's not like the old days
372
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,677
when you could get a job wearing a short skirt
and showing a bit of cleavage.
373
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,075
I've got to prove my intellectual worth.
374
00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:23,908
I know there's something I've got to be,
I just don't know what it is.
375
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:26,394
I feel like a rabbit...
376
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,071
trapped on a road to nowhere,
377
00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:32,476
frozen in the headlights of the 21 st century.
378
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:36,513
Daisy, for the last time,
will you stop being so dramatic?
379
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,594
Why do you have to make
such a performance out of everything?
380
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:40,834
Yeah!
381
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:47,236
- (
Magic Roundabout)
- Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit...
382
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:51,671
Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit,
rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit!
383
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,629
Ooh, like a little flower!
384
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:02,917
Thank you for coming, it's been very useful!
385
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,709
It's been very useful!
386
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,915
Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit!
387
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,630
Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit!
388
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,194
(Whispers) It's not as easy as it looks, is it?
389
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:27,949
- Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit...
- (Snores)
390
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:39,949
391
00:25:39,999 --> 00:25:44,549
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