Original subtitles

Grr!

Go, go, go,

go, go, go, go, go!

(Pants)

Woo hoo!

Brain freeze!

Ow, ow, ow!

Oh, what did I do to deserve this?

You guys! I got big news!

You're getting married?

What? No!

Our band has been asked to play a concert

on the other side of the island!

- Yeah! - Woo hoo!

Just one question. We're in a band?

Dude-itude, remember?

We saved the women of the village

from becoming mind-controlled zombies?

We ended Justin Beaver's musical career?

There were crackers in the green room.

- Oh yeah! - Right.

How are we gonna get our gear to the concert?

The Dude-Mobile!

Road trip!

Have fun on your trip, guys!

Don't do anything I wouldn't do!

I thought you said to have fun.

(Growls)

Since we'll be in this car for the next 15 hours,

let's make some productive use of our time.

¶ Dude-itude's back y'all We ain't wack, y'all ¶

¶ We want you to hear us way up at the back wall ¶

¶ So drop your hands and raise your feet ¶

¶ 'Cause Dude-itude's droppin' this phat beat ¶

¶ We bring the rhythm, the funk ¶

¶ Gotta drum set in the trunk

¶ A team of furry critters with swag, panache, spunk ¶

¶ Our guts are full of chili dogs ¶

¶ The van's in overdrive

¶ You haven't seen a real band until you've seen us live! ¶

We are going to own this concert.

Nothing can stop us now!

I need to stop now.

According to this pamphlet,

our route passes right by the famous water tower

shaped like a ketchup bottle!

Famous? I never heard of it.

It was prominently featured in a deleted scene

from Mutant Commando III.

Fine. We can make one stop.

(Exasperated Sigh)

(Snoring)

(Whistling)

Welcome, folks,

to the home of the World's Largest Non-Rocking Chair!

Oh, can I sit in it?

Oh, heavens no.

This chair's for eye-sittin' only.

(Groans)

Amy, please tell me you're having

as miserable a time as I am.

Actually, Sticks and I are having a relaxing spa weekend.

But come on, I'm sure your trip isn't that bad.

Now, over here is the official letter from the Book of Records

asking me to stop contacting them.

I stand corrected. Well, have fun on your vacation.

Take lots of pictures!

No pictures!

(Sighs)

Look what I just bought at the gift shop!

A scaled-down replica

of the World's Largest Non-Rocking Chair!

(Snoring)

Ohh.

Ugh, I can't take it anymore! Tails, give me the wheel!

Hey, hey! Give it back!

- No! - Come on! I got it!

We are going straight through to that concert. No more breaks,

no more tourist traps, no more stops!

(Siren)

Hey, what's the haps, Officer?

You boys look to be a long ways from home.

We are! Our band's got a gig on the other side of the island.

We're Dude-itude. Maybe you've heard of us?

I don't listen to the rock 'n' roll.

We don't take kindly to trouble makers round these parts,

especially not some...

blue-headed delinquent.

You tell him, Officer!

Ugh. Troublemaker? Delinquent?

But I'm Sonic the Hedgehog!

I'm the quintessential hero type!

I'll be keeping my eye on you three.

Ah, not another speeding ticket.

I'll fight it in court, but I don't think they're gonna accept

"gotta go fast" as a medical condition.

Knuckles, you take the wheel for a bit.

(Snoring)

Which way do I go?

Come on, universe. Give me a sign.

Message received.

(Hooting owl)

Whoa. Where are we?

- Ahh! - Ahh!

(Screaming)

Knuckles, what is this, uh, fine gentleman doing in our van?

You guys were asleep and I needed company.

Thankfully, this drifter looked like he needed company too!

So, uh, guy...

what are you doing out in these parts?

Ugh,

biding my time.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled broadcast of silence

for this important announcement:

A maniac, the notorious Bike Chain Bandit, is on the loose!

Motorists should be on the lookout

for a large, snaggletoothed opossum

wearing a trench coat

and carrying a duffel full of bicycle chains.

Uh, guys? Can we have a team meeting?

It's not about you.

It's about a totally different sociopath

in the backseat of a completely different van.

That's a relief! I thought for sure this guy was the maniac.

(Growls)

Sonic, you were wrong! He is the maniac! Get him off me!

Knuckles, move over. I'm driving!

Wha-- Are you pulling over?

Safety first, Sonic.

(Screaming)

(Siren)

Oh, thank goodness.

Officer, back there... The Bike Chain Bandit!

I knew you punks were up to no good.

No, no, no. You don't understand!

I'm Sonic the Hedgehog.

Sonic the Hedgehog,

you're under arrest.

You get one phone call.

Make it a good'un.

Amy, no time to explain.

Tails, Knuckles, and I are in jail.

We need you to bail us out!

(Screaming)

Sonic,

I'm really not in the mood for your practical jokes right now!

Sticks and I got our hands full. We'll talk later.

Looks like you boys

just won an overnight stay at the grey-bar hotel.

(Laughs)

Oh good, I thought we were gonna spend the night in jail.

Well lookie what we got here...

If it isn't Dreamboat Express!

Big fan!

Nowadays we go by--

Yup, That's us, Dreamboat Express!

Can't believe they locked you guys up too.

The 5-0's been pointing fingers at everybody

thanks to this Bike Chain Bandit.

Soon as they heard about my fledgling chain wallet business,

forget about it.

That's horrible!

Chain wallets haven't been cool for 15 years.

We know what the bandit looks like.

We could catch him and clear our names

if we could get out of here.

If you're half as good at stopping bad guys

as you are at singing innocuous, nonthreatening music,

then I'll help you bust out!

Great! You create a distraction.

Now all we need is some kind of inconspicuous

yet surprisingly powerful magnet...

I have this industrial micro magnet

that I keep hidden on my person at all times.

That'll have to do.

Soup's on,

inmates.

I can't eat that.

I demand a vegetarian meal with a...

what do ya call those things...

vegetables!

Hey! Get back here, slime balls!

¶ Gotta go fast!

¶ Gotta go too fast for you!

¶ Now we're catching up to you

¶ Rock 'n' roll is how we do

¶ We're gonna do it!

(Siren)

¶ Don't you try to hide from your past ¶

¶ 'Cause Sonic and crew are hot on your tail ¶

¶ And we're closing in fast!

There he is!

¶ Closing in fast

He's getting away!

I got this!

¶ Now we're catching up to you

¶ And rock 'n' roll is how we do ¶

¶ We're gonna do it!

¶ Ooh yeah!

¶ Don't you try to hide from your past ¶

¶ 'Cause Sonic and crew are hot on your tail ¶

¶ And we're closing in fast!

h!Ag

¶ Gotta go fast

¶ Gotta go too fast for you

¶ Now we're catching up to you

¶ And rock 'n' roll is how we do ¶

¶ We're gonna do it!

¶ Ooh yeah!

¶ You gotta go fast!

Glad you like chains.

'Cause you'll be wearing them for the next 15 to 20.

I was wrong about you three.

You're not just some low-life hooligans.

You're law-abiding hooligans!

And you're free to go.

Step on it, Tails!

Maybe we can still make it in time for...

Uh, did we miss the concert?

Nah, you're an entire month early!

(Laughs nervously)

I guess I was so excited about the concert,

I didn't pay attention to the date.

On the plus side,

the site of the World's Oldest Rock

is only two hours from here.

(Growls)

¶ Gotta go fast!

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