Original subtitles

Grr!

One chili dog. I eat chili dogs now.

Seems cool and edgy. I'm thinking of making it my thing.

Here. This is probably close to what you ordered.

You know what? I don't want a chili dog any more.

Now I just wanna burn this place to the ground!

- Robots, attack! - Not so fast, Egghead!

We won't let you destroy Meh Burger.

Fine. I've got an even better plan to get decent service.

First, I'd like to say it's an honour to meet the man

who owns Meh Burger.

Your institution is responsible for more evil

- than I could ever dream of! - Uh... Thank you?

But there's still room for improvement.

Orbot! Slideshow!

This is an artist's rendering of the current,

inefficient Meh Burger.

Now, here's my proposal. A team of efficient robotic employees!

A shiny, new Meh Burger!

And a place where you get what you actually ordered!

I love it! I'm very suggestible!

These machines will never be able to replicate

the customer service experience that comes from a live employee.

- Could I get some ketchup? - Get it yourself.

I'm on my break.

Your business is very valuable to us, pink customer.

Come on! At least give me a chance to show you

that I'm better than a bunch of robots.

We can have a contest.

OK, but if you lose, you're fired!

This is Soar the Eagle,

broadcasting live from Village Centre where local flunky,

Dave the Intern, is about to challenge a series of robots

in a fast-food throwdown!

Clearly, it's a slow news day.

The first event? Burger flipping!

Ouch! Er, I mean, round one goes to the machines,

with a final tally of Dave, 17, Machine, 135.

Next up, the Stop and Mop!

Mustard, easy!

Mysterious orange chunky goo, piece of cake!

Piece of cake? That one's a toughie.

Well, he earned that one.

And now for the final event,

the drive-thru speaker translation!

This one's worth more points

than all the other events combined.

That's to create false dramatic tension.

Or this competition would be over.

(Indistinct mumbling)

Two double Meh Burgers, and an order of humdrum rings.

(Indistinct mumbling)

- Uh... One... - (Buzzer)

And Dave goes down! A devastating blow to humanity!

But at least they'll finally get my order right.

Dave, it's difficult for me to say this, but... you're fired!

Actually, that wasn't so hard at all.

In fact, I kind of liked it.

In celebration of my new good mood,

I hereby announce a party tomorrow.

(Cheering)

Enjoy your tin death chefs.

I'm off to the woods for something safe to eat,

like unidentified plants, berries and mushrooms.

Gentlemen, today I was fired from my part-time,

minimum-wage job.

This is an outrage! Your boss shouldn't judge you

based on how ineffective you are at work!

Tomorrow, Meh Burger's going to have a big party

and the Lightning Bolts are gonna crash it.

Here's how it's gonna go down.

Thank you all for coming

to the grand reopening of Meh Burger!

In celebration, all cheeseburgers today are free!

(Cheering)

Aw. Cheese? But I'm lactose intolerant!

I also hate gogobas.

Once our operative gives the thumbs up, we move in.

New intel! Free cheeseburgers!

Abort mission! Abort mission!

(Sighs)

To the new Meh Burger, where you get what you actually ordered!

(Cheering)

Not something wrong,

served by a lackadaisical staff of slugs,

who don't give a rat's patootie.

In fact, odds are, they served you some rat's patootie!

Our lawyers have assured me the percentage of rat's patootie

in these burgers is well within the legal limit!

But we can forget those dark, old days. Well, you can.

Not me! Eggman never forgets!

So, I'm going to exact my revenge

on this so-called restaurant and all of its customers!

I'll break us out!

Ow!

The force field goes underneath too.

- We're doomed! - Not necessarily.

There's somebody outside the force field we can call on.

Hi. This is Sticks. I'm in the woods right now.

If this is a threat or conspiracy, press one.

You don't have an answering machine.

'Cause I hate machines!

You were right about the robots! We're all trapped in Meh Burger!

You're doing an I-told-you-so dance?

- Maybe. - I need you

to get over to my workshop right away!

Sticks, listen carefully.

I need you to bring me some stuff.

A transducer and a beam-concentration nozzle,

- the big one, not the small... - Transfloozle, pocket wrench...

Yeah, I got it.

A voltage bridge, a welding laser...

You can't keep us in here forever!

I know! That's why I'm launching you into outer space!

Wait. What?

Ta-ta! (Evil laugh)

Sticks here. Quick question. Where's Meh Burger?

Right above you!

This is no good. The key to a successful restaurant

is location, location, location!

You'll have to take out the force field from mid-air.

You can borrow my plane, but need a co-pilot.

Is there anyone left in town who can fly it?

Why should I help save lame-o Meh Burger?

You and I have one thing in common,

unless you also believe the government changes

word spellings and replaces our dictionaries while we sleep.

- We both hate robots, right? - Of course I do!

They took my job!

Keep your mitts on the wheel!

Don't tell me what to do! You're not my mom's boyfriend!

It feels pretty sweet defeating Dave the Intern, Meh Burger

and Sonic in one fell swoop!

And as an extra bonus, I don't have to wait in lines any more!

I wonder if these come in husky?

Why is there never anyone to help when you need it? Hello?

(Screaming)

First thing you need to do is slow our ascent

before we get to the vacuum of space.

You'll have to disarm a couple of the thrusters.

Dave, we need to get closer!

Oh, that's really nice of you, but I'm kind of a loner.

Oh, you mean the plane! Right!

Hey! It's working!

With half the thrusters gone,

the rest are struggling against the weight.

They're gonna seize! We gotta disable this force field, fast!

Time to even out my tan without fear of scrutiny.

Everybody, grab a table cloth. You can use them as parachutes.

Can I get another one? This one has a mustard stain!

Mine has a hole in it!

I need you to make an electromagnetic pulse

to jam the force field's current.

- I don't know what that means! - You can do it, Sticks!

You'll need a power supply.

Find something that looks like a battery

with three squiggly wires coming out of it.

OK, got the battery!

Now find a beam-concentration nozzle.

It's like a small rubber traffic cone with a clip on the end.

Attach that to the loose wire and press the big, red button!

Nice going, Sticks!

Dive, Dave! Dive, dive, dive!

We're starting to get a little close to the ground here.

That sound is never good.

Aaah!

A perfect one-point landing.

Ugh!

Pretty nice of Mr Slate to promote him to Dave-the-Manager.

Well, he deserved it for helping you save the whole town.

A meaningless title, though.

He doesn't have any employees to manage.

Actually, I took care of that.

I salvaged one of the robots and reprogrammed it.

This is a salad! I ordered a chili dog!

I'm on my break.

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