Original subtitles

Grr!

As we remember, the epicentre of tourism for our fair village

was the giant ball of twine.

That is, until someone unwound it.

Boo!

I only did it to stop a rock slide

from steamrolling the town!

I remember it like it was yesterday.

No time for a flashback! We need to reinvigorate tourism!

Suggestions?

What if we sold T-shirts for the town?

- Get our name out there! - Great idea!

Just one quick question. What is the name of our town?

ALL: Uh...

Our village must have a name. And I know just how to find out!

Everyone, to the library!

Or I could just look it up online.

But the library's an important resource,

with its card catalogues

and cabinets full of microfiche!

- Found it! - Yeah!

- Oh... - Our town was orinagilly called

Badgerville,

named after its founder, Jebediah Badger.

He was a ruthless bank owner and land developer,

who seized power by manipulating the system.

Good thing we don't let people like that

run our city any more... (Nervous laugh)

He kicked people out of their homes

just to develop on their land and expand his fortune.

Eventually, our ancestors rebelled,

chasing him out of town!

Then they tore down the signs

bearing his image and the town's name.

Afterward, they were too lazy to hang up new ones.

So I guess, technically, it's still called Badgerville.

That's impossible!

Jebediah Badger was... my great-great-grandfather!

(Gasp)

My ancestor was... "the man!"

Jebediah Badger stood for everything I hate in this world,

abuse of power, oppression, shoddy sign construction...

You had nothing to do with him,

so it's nothing to be ashamed of.

I guess I overreacted. Thanks, Amy.

I feel like everyone's looking at me funny.

How's that different?

Because now it's not paranoia.

People, I don't even agree with Jebediah Badger!

I try and help everyone.

I must've saved that walrus baby, like, 50 times!

Don't you talk about my baby.

We can't stand idly by and let our town be named after

some no-good, stinkin' badger.

We need a new name for our village!

I agree! Let's put our heads together and -

(Screams) She's coming for us!

(Screaming)

(Sighs) Maybe it's best if I lay low for a bit.

Amy, you go make sure they don't name the town something stupid.

How about we name it Shimmydown Town?

No way. It's gotta be something with pizzazz, like Sonic-Topia.

Nah, it should have a strong, intimidating name, like...

Knuckles. I've always liked that one for some reason.

It should be a name that sounds nice and boosts our image.

Something like Pleasant Valley.

(Murmurs)

Intentionally vague, bordering on misleading,

but not open to legal dispute. It's perfect!

(Cheering)

Not so fast!

- (Murmurs) - Everybody chillax.

I'm not here to fight. I heard we need a new name for our town.

And I found the perfect option.

- Eggman City! - I like it!

What? No! That's terrible. We're not naming it Eggman City.

Who made you king? I say, let the people decide!

- (Cheering) - Yeah!

But the people just decided. Everybody liked Pleasant Valley!

You can't just declare a new name.

You need to draw up a proposition

and hold a referendum. There's a process!

Unless you want to be all... Jebediah Badger about it.

Boo!

(Hisses)

From the rolling meadows to the beautiful beaches

to that perpetual dumpster fire behind Meh Burger,

there's something for everyone

in a place called Pleasant Valley!

- (Loud feedback) - Ow!

Y'all ready for Eggman City?

(Resounding silence)

First order of business, free T-shirts!

Calm down. There's enough swag for everyone.

(Sigh)

Citizens for Pleasant Valley.

(Growls)

Hey! This isn't a library!

- Hey! This isn't a library. - But... this is a library.

Obviously you don't understand parallel construction jokes.

(Sigh)

Amy Rose thinks we should name our town Pleasant Valley.

But did you know that Amy Rose

is an associate of known conspiracy theorist

and descendant of Jebediah Badger, Sticks the Badger?

What else is Amy Rose hiding?

Paid for by citizens who'd prefer Eggman City.

I can't take this any more!

Well, I've done everything I can. Now we just have to vote

and hope people make the right decision.

Have a little faith in the democratic process.

- It always comes through! - It's a landslide!

Eggman City triumphs with a record 98% of the vote!

Let's talk to the man of the hour, Dr Eggman!

Thank you, Soar. I also want to thank all the villagers

who were swayed by my charismatic campaign

and voted without actually reading the proposition itself.

And why would they? Your commercials and free T-shirts

stated the point so clearly!

Yes, well, what the T-shirts failed to mention was that

hidden within the ordinance

was a clause to give me absolute power!

You chumps just elected me your supreme leader!

(Evil laugh)

Oh, by the way, I'm shutting down the media.

- Ain't our system grand, boys? - You'll need a cabinet.

Might I submit my resumé for Secretary of the Interior?

And can I be water commissioner? They get all the chicks.

Now that I'm in charge, I have big plans.

Yes, yes! Collect my trash in a timely fashion!

(Evil laugh)

I also have big plans for the city. It's demolition time!

(Screaming)

What the heck do you think you're doing?

Clearing space for my new theme park, of course!

Which, by the way, will be great for tourism.

- You're welcome. - What about the villagers?

They can work at the theme park or visit it!

See? It's all good. Now move along.

Need I remind you that I was elected supreme leader?

What I'm doing is within the letter of the law

and you can't stop me!

I'll find a way to stop you legally, Eggman!

Everyone, come with me to the library!

(Whistling)

Fine, I'll go myself.

(Sighs of relief)

Shh!

(Snoring)

- That's it! - Shh!

Sticks, I've got great... Whoa, what are you doing?

This town's no place for a badger like me.

You have no idea how wrong you are.

I discovered that even though Jebediah was run out of town,

he never relinquished ownership of the land.

- That greedy, no-good... - Don't you see?

That means, legally,

the land belongs to Jebediah Badger's only descendant, you!

I own the village? And everything in it?

- Uh-huh. - The stores? The houses?

- Yep. - The mind-reading antennae

cleverly disguised as trees?

The invisible tower where the government hides aliens?

The factory where they create our duplicates

so they can replace us with pod people?

If any of those things existed, you'd own 'em.

Let's go kick Eggman out of my village,

unless you're the pod version of Amy,

then you can wait here.

If we demolish the youth centre, I can double the size

- of my funnel cake stand! - Come on, Eggman!

You can't just destroy the village.

Sorry, I can't hear you over the noise of building a theme park!

Wait! According to these records,

Sticks is the true owner of the village!

So you're saying our votes don't mean anything?

Exactly! None of your votes matter!

Boo!

But I'm giving the town back to the people!

(Cheering)

And I figured it all out thanks to the wonders of the library!

- Boo! - It's over, Eggman.

I don't care if you nullified my term as supreme ruler.

That youth centre's going down!

Oh...

Outta the way!

Come on, kids. Move it or lose it!

You can finish colouring later!

What? No! Stupid thing's stuck!

- You win this time... - We pretty much win every time.

I guess we owe you an apology, Sticks. After your heroics,

we'd be honoured to keep the name Badgerville.

(Cheering)

Nah, that's OK.

Let's name the village after someone who deserves it.

Someone selfless and honourable.

I say we call it Hedgehog Village.

Wow, Sticks. Naming the town after me? You shouldn't have.

I mean, I get why you'd want to, but...

Not after you! After my good friend, Amy Rose the Hedgehog,

who always stood by me, no matter what.

- Aw! - Aw!

You sure you don't want to call it Knuckles?

I've always liked it for some reason.

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