Original subtitles

Grr!

I can't believe we're about to meet Tommy Thunder!

He's my favourite movie star!

He's got it all, strength, muscles, ability to lift stuff.

Not to mention eyes you could get lost in for days.

Hey, remember when he was being chased by ninja pirates

while skiing on Haunted Mountain?

- What movie was that again? - Ninja Ski Pirates

- on Haunted Mountain? - I doubt that was it.

His movies are great,

but his heroics sometimes seem unrealistic.

Oh, come on! It doesn't get any more realistic

than the underwater bear fight in Mutant Commando III!

Ladies and gentlemen, here to promote his new movie

with some cheaply made Meh Meal toys,

which are guaranteed to have 12% fewer jagged edges.

- Ow! - (Squeaks)

Anyway, here he is, the star of Tommy Thunder Presents,

Tommy Thunder in Rise of the Thunder King,

Tommy... Uh... Thunder!

(Cheering)

Tommy is happy to be here.

Ugh! This place is a dump.

- Tommy, you're our hero! - That's great.

Maybe you can be heroes someday too.

Hi. We're all big fans of your work.

That's great. Maybe you can be heroes someday too.

You hear that, Sonic? Tommy says I could be a hero someday!

- You are a hero, Tails. - Thanks!

Though it means less coming from you.

Excuse me, coming through. Stand aside.

We're here with Tommy Thunder, movie star, humanitarian,

patron saint of kick-butt-ery!

- Mmm... Buttery. - Yes, sir,

- Tommy Thunder's a hero! - He's not a hero.

He's an actor! He doesn't actually save lives.

You saved my life, Tommy Thunder.

When I was ill, your movies were the one bright spot

in my otherwise bleak existence.

- You're a true hero. - Aw!

- Fine. He helped some old lady. - (Whistle blows)

Not to alarm everyone, but...

Eggman's attacking! Every man, woman and child

for him, her or itself!

But me first. Aaah!

(Screaming)

I ordered a baker's dozen.

That's supposed to be 13 rugelach, not 12.

This doesn't concern you, hedgehog!

Knuckles, toss me a day-old baguette!

Batter up.

Why do all my social interactions end like this?

(Cheering)

Tommy's gotta admit, Tommy's impressed.

Maybe even you can be a hero someday.

Touch�. But you're right. Tommy Thunder's not a hero.

Just a devilishly good-looking actor,

number-one box-office draw,

and rich beyond your wildest dreams.

But not a hero like you guys.

- I'm glad to hear... - Speaking of segues,

could Tommy follow you around for a few days?

As a method actor, it'll really help him

get into his next action role.

- Really? - Awesome!

- Sweet! - People always follow me.

Ah, I don't know. You're kind of...

- An egomaniac? - Right.

And there's no room for ego on Team Sonic!

- Ahem! - And friends.

I was gonna include you guys, albeit not individually.

Anyway, I just don't think it would be a good fit, OK?

Knock, knock! I have to say that because you don't have a door.

- It's kinda pathetic, actually. - What do you want, Tommy?

You're right. Being a hero isn't about ego.

It's about elaborate gifts!

It's your visage in melon form!

So, now can I follow you on your adventures?

Slam! I have to say that because I don't actually have a door.

I didn't know Meh Burger had a VIP section.

It doesn't.

Right this way, Mr Thunder.

Wow, he didn't sigh and roll his eyes at us.

When you ride with Tommy Thunder,

you get the star treatment.

Wow! These plates are so clean you could almost eat off them!

Thanks for bringing us here, Tommy.

- It was really nice of you. - Yes, it was.

So, anyway, about your buddy, Sonic...

I was just thinking, completely on my own,

that you should give him another chance.

Let him follow you for a few days.

But he's such a phoney!

Only a slack-jawed rube would be charmed by that guy!

(Giggles) Right.

But weren't you just saying how unrealistic his movies are?

This is your chance to fix that!

He can finally make a film expressing

what it's really like to be a hero!

All right, I'll give him a shot.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to dispose of a rotten,

half-eaten fruit sculpture of my head.

You will not regret this!

Tommy's so excited to learn about the hero process!

Yeah, just try to stay out of my way, OK?

You won't even know I'm here. So, what's your workout routine?

What time do you go to bed? What time do you wake up?

Have you ever tried gazpacho? What is gazpacho?

Ugh! It's frustrating to be followed around

- by someone so annoying! - Well, sorry.

Not you. Him!

Some people don't get that us hero types need time to brood.

- Grr! - Grr!

- Ugh! - Ugh!

- Grr! - Grr!

- (Alarm goes off) - There's a robbery!

Can you believe the price we got on these? What a steal!

Oh, crud! Weasel Bandits. And they're extra punny today.

Gang, let's get to work.

Tommy, stay out of the way.

Tails, gimme a boost.

- And that's how we... - Cut!

That was great! Hey, you mind if I step in for take two?

I have some ideas that I think will really improve the scene.

You can't do a re-take in a battle!

It's OK. We can do a re-take. Anything for Tommy Thunder!

OK, so, you guys just stand in this clump here,

like you've just been defeated

and Tommy'll just wrap you up with this rope.

And there you have it, folks!

Movie star Tommy Thunder

single-handedly captured this pack of vicious bandits!

- (Clapping) - I didn't do it all myself.

I had a lot of help. My manager, my agent, my stylist,

that little goober with the two tails.

- I think he's talking about me! - And, of course, Sonic!

He's the one who taught me how to be the realistic hero

- that I am today. - Think you're so cool.

Knock, knock! Still no door, huh?

- What do you want, Tommy? - Just wanted to thank you

for teaching Tommy how to think and behave like a real hero.

Now Tommy's got the whole thing down cold!

Wait a sec. Tommy doesn't -

I mean, you don't think you actually captured those bandits?

Tommy sees what's going on here! You're jealous!

Tommy'd be jealous of Tommy, too.

What? I'm not jealous!

He doesn't have time to argue.

He's late for his appearance on a show. Tommy Thunder out!

Grr!

So, Tommy, tell me about your harrowing battle

with those ne'er-do-well reprobates.

- The criminals. - Oh! Huh, yeah.

Tommy looked at those thugs. There must have been 50 of 'em,

all with heat vision and wielding machetes.

But Tommy said to 'em, "Not today."

You don't monkey around!

Not when they have the nuclear launch codes!

? Makin' some muffins on a Tuesday night ?

Wow. Sounds like you're ready for anything,

even that evil Dr Eggman.

I can take on a thousand Eggmen. You hear that, Doc?

Tommy Thunder's calling you out!

What the snap? I suppose I have to retaliate!

Well, there goes my evening. Now I gotta put on pants.

Hey, be honest with me. How'd Tommy look on camera?

Yeah, those shoe lifts really help.

Well, well, if it isn't Tommy Blunder,

international superstar and hurter of feelings!

Uh, Malcolm, got to call you back.

Hey, Big E!

Don't take any of that stuff Tommy said too seriously.

It's all part of the show. (Nervous laugh)

You make an interesting point, but on the other hand...

Obliterator Bot, obliterate!

Ah! Mommy! I'm not really a hero, I'm just an actor.

An A-list actor, but still.

My name's not really Tommy Thunder either.

It's Irwin Fertelmeister!

Well, Irwin, in that case...

Hey! What did Obliterator Bot ever do to you,

other than try to obliterate you?

- Grr! Argh! - (Beeping)

You're lucky my muffins are ready.

We've just arrived on the scene of what appears to have been

an epic battle between Tommy Thunder and Eggman.

Let's ask this bystander about Tommy's heroics

in this latest brouhaha.

(Cheering)

Uh... Tommy was great!

- A true hero! - Yep, that's right!

Tommy did it all! And now that his hero research is finished,

Tommy's ready to deliver a complicated,

nuanced performance in his most realistic film to date,

Attack of the Giant Ant People... in Space!

Sonic, you showed a great deal of maturity

in sharing credit with Tommy.

Get ready for your reward.

You're gonna love the Oysters Rockefeller.

- We're here for the VIP room. - There is no VIP room.

And there never was.

I knew it!

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