Original subtitles

What would make this a great experience for you,

and what would you like to come out

of the experience with?

I'm looking to come... No, I'm kidding.

I mean, it would be an added bonus, but...

I think you're setting yourself up

for a disappointment.

Okay. Orgasm fail.

No orgasms today.

**

Karley: God, being a mostly straight woman

can be really stressful.

For some reason, some men seem to find it hard

to make a woman come,

and I'm sick of dating my vibrator.

I got to thinking, "Why are happy endings available to men

but not to women?"

In the age of Amazon Prime, why is it impossible for a woman

to get an orgasm on demand in this town, right?

**

According to the Internet, there are over 1,000

happy ending massage parlors in New York City alone,

but those are almost exclusively for men.

Unfair.

I wonder if the rest of the ostensibly horny people

in this city agree that the female population

is orgasmically marginalized.

Have either of you ever had a happy ending massage?

No, not at all.

-No. -No.

I've never had a happy ending massage.

Have you ever had a happy ending massage?

[ Whining ]

I don't even know what it means.

Have you ever had a strange woman

that you paid jerk you off at the end of a massage?

I wish I had. Oh, my...

I'm looking to get one.

How do you jerk off a woman?

Have you ever had a happy ending massage?

I have, actually. It was very clinical.

-Oh, really? -Yeah.

I was just... It was very, like...

It wasn't very sexual.

From what I understand, it's, like,

if they massage your shoulder. They'll massage your dick.

-Yeah. -Like, that's about it.

Do you think it can be the same way for women,

and that women could just go in

and get a sort of mechanical handjob

and feel better afterwards?

I feel like most women

are kind of, like, sapiosexual.

Like, it's not just the cock they want.

Like, there's something beyond that.

-Cock and brain. -That's cock and brain.

Yeah.

Women just aren't agreeable to being like,

"Hey. Finger me and then I'm gonna leave."

There definitely is a social stigma

that women can't explore their sexuality

in ways that men can.

Yeah, like, in the name of gender equality,

I feel like we should be able

to get orgasms from strangers.

-Exactly. -I'm looking to find one.

I hope you find your happy ending.

Thank you.

Karley: It seems that most people don't think women

are interested in happy endings,

but I am, and I can't be the only one.

Thankfully, I discovered a website

called Cowboys and Angels,

which offers professional male escorts for hire,

so, in search of the transactional orgasm

of my dreams, I booked an hour with Ash,

a hunky male companion with hair longer

and shinier than mine.

Hi. Hey.

Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.

-Karley, right? -You look great. Yeah.

Ash.

I want to see you get ready.

Yeah? All right. Cool.

How long have you been an escort?

Five years.

Do you like it?

I do. I love it.

At the end of the day,

it's all about connecting with somebody.

Right. And looking good.

Well, yeah.

You definitely got to look decent.

-Yeah, yeah. -Yeah.

And when people pay for your services,

is sex guaranteed?

Not at all. Not at all.

It's strictly for our time. Yeah.

But if you feel like the date is going well

and you're getting along with someone,

you could choose to sleep with them?

I will say, things can get very romantic.

It's like a normal date, like, nothing is guaranteed.

-Exactly. Exactly. -Yeah.

So, like, I have to work a little harder, too.

Yeah.

Okay, should we go?

-All right. Let's do it. -Yeah.

Karley: Even though I wasn't definitely going to get my happy ending,

I was excited to get day drunk with my overpriced arm candy

and pretend not to be staring at his pecs.

How much does it cost to spend a day with you?

$4,500.

That's not cheap.

I guess, but worth it.

True. I think so.

So what's the protocol when you're out in public

with someone, like, can I...

Am I allowed to touch you, or what?

It's very much like a boyfriend-girlfriend experience,

so, yeah, like, generally, like,

I'll be walking like this

or I'll have my arm out, like, you know?

-Yeah. Yeah. -It's casual and natural.

Okay.

Thank you. -You're welcome.

I like the gentlemanly touch.

Cheers. -Cheers.

Who is your typical client?

The general age demographic will be between 30 and 40.

You get a lot of high-powered businesswomen

who just don't have time for bullshit,

so they're looking for a good date experience,

somebody they can have a great time with

and just no strings attached.

Women generally are looking to feel special

and feel like I'm actually listening to them.

I actually care about who they are

or what they're into.

But I feel like

we're having a really nice, genuine conversation,

and this idea that, you know, like,

if you're paying for someone to pay attention to you,

that that's sad.

It's, like, well, I pay a therapist.

Like, why is it different?

Yeah. That's true.

You know, I actually pay so many people

to pay attention to me.

I have, like, a trainer, a therapist, like,

a yoga instructor.

Like, literally, I just pay people

to be around me all day, basically.

I mean, this is fun for me.

Do you ever find yourself really attracted

to the person

and end up having a lot of fun, like,

and you just even forget that it's a service?

I will say I do have a lot of fun,

but I never forget it's a service.

-Okay, so it's a job? -Yes.

It's definitely a job.

What I'm looking for is, I'm interested in the idea

of just having a happy ending, right?

I just feel like guys get that and it's just interesting

that it doesn't feel like there

is a service out there for women who just,

like, want to get off.

I get it, and I really think there should be a service

because it could be done

in a very therapeutic way and a safe way.

Who doesn't want that, like, having an amazing massage

and have all parts of your body massaged

and finishing off with a nice orgasm?

Sounds pretty amazing to me.

Do you think that there's more women

who are willing to pay for it,

whether it be for an orgasm or for companionship,

than people think? -Big time.

When I started working, there was 20 guys in the agency.

Now there's over 60 guys at the agency,

and I feel like there was a need for it,

and suddenly it's there.

I would assume that there has to be multiple factors, right?

One has to be that women are making more money,

but I also think that, in terms of female sexual agency,

we've come a long way in recent years.

Yeah, definitely.

I think it comes more from an empowered point of view.

They don't care what anybody else thinks.

Cheers.

Karley: Wow. I was having so much fun.

I almost forgot it wasn't a real date until the check came.

I'm picking up the check, right?

-Yes. -It's okay.

I'm empowered.

I really enjoyed my time with Ash.

I thought he was so charming,

but what I learned from this experience

is that paying for a male escort,

there's just a huge time commitment.

It's not really that guarantee of an orgasm on demand.

You're just paying for someone's time,

but I thought that it was interesting

that he said that there's a huge increase in the amount of women

who are willing to assert themselves

and what they want sexually and to pay for male companionship,

and that makes me think that if I dig a little deeper

that I might be able to find someone

who's offering women

a transactional orgasm on demand.

It's got to be out there.

Fully naked or panties?

I feel like I've actually, like, been traumatized.

Do you trust these hands to touch you?

**

Karley: After my male escort fail,

I needed to try a different approach,

something a little more free love.

Thankfully, I discovered a man in San Francisco

who claims to be a guru of female pleasure.

In order words, a vagina whisperer.

Tom: I've got my pussy puppet here.

Can we do the pussy puppet thing?

-This is very scientific. -Yes.

This is a very scientific puppet.

Tom, who is a sexological bodyworker,

operates in this gray space where he uses massage

and sensual touching to help women

to understand their own bodies and their own pleasure,

while also feeding them pleasure.

So we're talking about self-knowledge here,

and we want to know what your parts are

and agree on the language we're using.

Inner lips, outer lips, vestibular bulbs,

urethral sponge, perineal sponge,

clitoral hood and clitoris.

The G-spot.

Actually, yeah, the G-spot, right...Feel it.

It has little ridges on it,

just like the urethral sponge.

What would make this a great experience for you,

and what would you like to come out of the experience with?

I'm looking to come... No, I'm kidding.

I mean, it would be an added bonus, but...

I appreciate your vulnerability

you're expressing there.

If you have the expectation or even the desire

to have an orgasm during this session,

I think you're setting yourself up for a disappointment.

Let's put that one totally off the table and make it a rule,

actually, and say, "No orgasms today."

Okay.

That's not what we're gonna do.

Karley: Shit. Why am I here again?

Women sometimes come to me wanting...

I call it a yoni massage...

yoni, the tantric word for sacred temple.

Yeah.

They'll just come and say, "I want a yoni massage

and I want an orgasm. Give it to me."

I used to offer that kind of service right away,

and then I discovered that, really,

it was counterproductive,

that we might make a huge gain in the beginning,

but then it just would fizzle.

So what is the process, exactly?

The first session in sexological bodywork

would be exploring why they're there

and what their issues are.

If they're really ready for it,

the second session would be a standard massage,

getting comfortable with each other,

and then the third session,

if everything is going smoothly,

we might go right to a vaginal mapping experience

or a yoni massage.

Do you think that the reason that women eventually

do feel comfortable coming to you is

because there is a therapeutic element?

Oh, sure.

Yeah, and oftentimes, because of our upbringing,

because of the culture we live in,

which is really a sex-negative culture,

because of the conditioning we've had mostly

from religious...

particularly the Christian background...

we are whole except our genitals.

Sexological bodywork is about being alive,

totally alive in our bodies.

So should we do the vaginal mapping?

Yeah. I want to map my vagina.

This is the more intimate part,

and so I wanted you to take my hands in yours here.

-Mm-hmm. -I wanted to make sure that...

You know, we're doing this for TV...

that you're choosing this for you.

Do you trust these hands to touch you?

-I'm down. -We can...You're down?

-I'm down. Yeah. -Okay.

Get under the sheet with your head right here.

Tom: Vaginal mapping is a process

of learning about your vagina,

me going in and touching different parts of the yoni

and doing a scale of 1 to 3 on the positive side

or 1 to 3 on the negative side,

getting feedback from you of what's pleasurable,

what's painful, what's irritating.

Karley: I would say that's a negative one

because that makes me feel

like I'm gonna pee my pants.

Mm-hmm.

When I move a little bit forward...

Maybe, like, a zero.

Mm-hmm.

Forward still.

Zero.

So the point is for me

to learn in this sort of slow

and controlled setting where feels good.

Exactly.

Where there's no pressure to perform

or to get anywhere or whatever.

We're just on, like, a Lewis and Clark mapping expedition.

We're crossing the Missouri

and heading up into the wild country.

Karley: I knew there was a therapeutic component

to sexological bodywork,

but this feels a bit OB/GYN-esque.

I assume that for some women,

the medical component makes being touched

by a man in this way more approachable,

but I'm personally not looking for therapeutic hand-holding.

What's the number?

Like, 1, 2.5, 3.

I don't...I mean, is 3, like, crazy?

And honestly, how am I supposed to try to come

while you're asking me to do literal math?

Oh, no.

Tom: The female orgasm,

it's not even in the same category

as the male orgasm.

It's a mystery, ultimately.

It's like God or something, you know?

You approach it with humility.

Karley: Two strikes on my quest for a happy ending.

It got me thinking,

"What's so damn difficult about the female orgasm

that makes even professionals shy away from promising one?"

So, welcome. Welcome to Cocktales.

Thank you for coming.

Karley: When Tom is not busy mapping people's vaginas,

he leads a men's sexuality group called Cocktales.

Here, men sit around in a circle

and basically share their insecurities

around the female orgasm.

So twice in the experience of Cocktales,

we've had women witnesses,

so we're doing a version of that tonight with Karley

sitting outside the circle and holding space for us.

So let's just do introductions.

I'll start.

I'm Tom, and I'm feeling excited and curious.

I'm Ilio, and I feel my heart

going a little faster than normal.

It tells me I'm a little nervous.

Hi. My name is Jason,

so I'm feeling a little sacrificial or something,

not so excited about bearing some intimate details

of my own insecurities.

Okay, well, I'll come at this from the, um,

pretty insecure place.

I'm happily married.

I had to go through a lot of stuff

to get to this very average lover place that I am right now.

I would love to be capable of helping my wife

have these explosive, amazing orgasms,

and I feel like it's on me to step it up.

[ Sighs ]

So I think where I want to start is kind of like,

the ego in me wants to be, of course, pleasing,

and I do feel like a failure if I've come,

and she has not.

One thing I'm experiencing is instead of being

that assertive male presence during sex,

to leave room for something else to happen,

not being this man that's there driving the orgasm,

and I know there's, like, a little part in me

that has to die each time that I do that.

Yeah. -Thanks.

She needs to be able to come to ease my sensitive male ego.

There can be so much charge and attachment

around a woman's orgasm.

I feel like I've actually, like, been traumatized.

I don't think there's anything in my life

that I've spent more time thinking about

and practicing for

and attempting and still, at 63 years old,

not knowing anything.

Karley: Should I... Can I say something?

In the sort of wider culture,

men are expected to be competent when it comes to sex,

and so the vulnerability of asking,

like, "What feels good for you?" or "What am I doing wrong?"

or "How do I do this?" is, like, "emasculating,"

whereas, of course that's going to be the primary way

that you would actually find out how to please somebody,

and then women feel like they can't ask for what they want

because they don't want to,

you know, hurt their partner's ego

or make them feel insecure,

and then it creates this problem of communication.

Tom: Thanks.

Like, that's to me what the big challenge is for men

approaching the feminine orgasm is,

like, maybe your preconceptions about what sex is

and who you are as a man isn't,

maybe, necessarily correct.

Really it's, like, well, we're talking about

dissolving your identity, you know, your sexual identity,

which to me is, like, a huge part of who you are.

That's terrifying.

Karley: I really felt so honored

to be able to sit in on Cocktales

and watch all these men talk about female sexuality

and their own pleasure in this really vulnerable

and sensitive way. I really --

It tugged on my heartstrings in a way that I did not expect.

I invite us to end like we have some circles, if we can stand.

All: Ha!

Karley: I think that what these men are really acknowledging

is that the female orgasm is complex,

and it's also, in a lot of ways,

tied to the ego of the man who's trying to fuel it,

and I just think because of that,

the idea of giving a woman an orgasm on demand

is a really intimidating task to approach

with both parties that are involved,

and because of that, I think that it's gonna

take a really specific type of man

to want to enter into that exchange.

How do you make a woman orgasm?

Dr. M.: It's my job

to unlock the mysteries of each woman's body.

**

So I've been looking far and wide,

both online and in real life,

for a guy who offers women the service of a happy ending,

and it's been really hard to find.

I've found men who offer the service of companionship

or, you know, sexological bodywork or therapeutic massage,

but it's been difficult to find a guy who just says,

"I offer women an orgasm on demand."

But finally, I got tipped off to this one guy.

He goes by the name Dr. M.,

and his website is called "Her Private Pleasures."

He seems to be exactly what I've been looking for.

He offers a 1-hour service,

which provides erotic touching and then a happy ending,

so he's literally coming over to my apartment right now.

[ Horn honks in distance ]

[ Intercom rings ]

[ Door buzzes ]

Unfortunately, because we live in sex-negative America,

Dr. M. has chosen to remain anonymous.

[ Knock on door ]

Hey. Nice to meet you.

-Thanks. -Come on in.

So, Dr. M., what is it exactly that you do?

I use sensual touch to give women pleasure.

For the session, you lie facedown.

It's not tantra.

There are no spiritual chants or anything like that,

and there's no expectation of reciprocation.

Okay.

You may experience a single orgasm,

multiple orgasms or more nuanced waves of pleasure.

What kind of women seek out this service?

Some women are hard-working professionals.

Some are young moms.

Some are involved with clueless lovers.

Some are in sexless marriages,

but don't want to have the affair,

and others, quite frankly, are just horny.

[ Laughs ] Should be fun.

How do you make a woman orgasm?

All women are different.

Some like a slow and gentle touch,

others faster and firmer.

Some like internal stimulation,

others, external.

I go by body language.

It tells me everything I need to know.

**

-Should I be naked? -Yes.

-Fully naked or panties? -Fully.

**

Karley: Well, here we go.

**

**

Actually, this guy is not bad.

**

I can see this becoming a regular occurrence

and becoming destructive to the future

of my romantic relationships.

After searching high and low and literally inside myself

for a happy ending,

it was clear that when a man offers sexual services to women,

it's often dressed up as romance or therapy,

but what I like about Dr. M.

is that he's calling it like it is,

and that's the biggest turn-on for me,

even despite the fact that he's randomly dressed

like a white rapper.

Maybe the current market of women

looking for transactional sexual pleasure is niche,

but the fact that these services are becoming more popular

makes me think that we're headed toward a future

where women will be free to be just as desperate as men.

One small orgasm for a woman, one giant leap for womankind.

Rub you later, sluts.

[ Bell dings ]

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