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1
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,275
Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
2
00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:06,437
The winner of tonight's seventh
annuaI Elvis impersonator contest
3
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:10,354
is none other than
contestant number 21,
4
00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:12,510
Harold Lauderneck!
5
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:44,716
15 Elvis Presley impersonators
killed in the last three weeks!
6
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:49,078
What on earth could the motive be
to murder Elvis impersonators?
7
00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:54,188
- To get in the Guinness Book.
- Hammer, this is serious business.
8
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,879
Performers are dropping like flies!
9
00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:01,919
I suggest you get over to
the county coroner's office
10
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,389
and see what you can find out!
11
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:10,231
I'm gettin' it again.
There it is. There it is!
12
00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:14,359
I will never figure out how people
time and time again
13
00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:16,396
can do something like this.
14
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,871
The taking of a human life
is just deplorable.
15
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:23,669
Not that. Drawing chalk outlines
around bodies -
16
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:26,718
it's a ridiculous way to make a living.
17
00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:42,637
I'll yell you, this has got to be
the strangest seriaI killings I've seen
18
00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,314
since that weirdy was bumping off
19
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:49,154
anybody who's ever been
on Candid Camera.
20
00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:51,276
Next of kin been notified?
21
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:54,636
Yes, but none of them
could identify the bodies.
22
00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:56,995
They all look alike. Dead ringers.
23
00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:01,790
Well, I hope nobody's offended,
but I'm just gonna eat lunch.
24
00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:04,519
What? You're gonna have lunch now?
25
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:07,353
I know it's an odd time
to have lunch,
26
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:11,513
being so late in the afternoon
but I cannot afford to skip meals.
27
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:16,959
What exactly was the method used
to do in these Elvises?
28
00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:21,795
The assailant struck each victim
in the head, using a blunt object.
29
00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:25,077
- What kind of blunt object?
- I'm not exactly sure.
30
00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:29,278
But fragments have led me to believe
that the weapon was gold plated.
31
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,874
- Gold plated?
- Yes.
32
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:35,839
And it's my guess that
each one of the fataI blows
33
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:38,036
was administered by a microphone.
34
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,076
A microphone?
35
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:46,079
We should bring some game show hosts
in for questioning.
36
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:49,789
Mm, look at this. Aah!
37
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:53,668
Would you please stop eating?
It's in very poor taste.
38
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:55,716
You're right, I'm sorry.
39
00:03:55,800 --> 00:04:00,157
You're absolutely right. I should have
brought enough for everybody.
40
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:04,518
I've got to get ready.
Photographers are coming to take pictures
41
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,478
of myself with all these dead Elvises.
42
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:10,870
- For the newspapers?
- No, the Guinness Book!
43
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:16,952
Imagine what it's like being a coroner.
44
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:21,397
Knowing the first thing to greet you
in the morning is a dead body.
45
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,392
Of course I can imagine, Doreau.
46
00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:26,516
I was married for five years.
47
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,200
'Let's go over what we know so far. '
48
00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:34,238
15 Elvis impersonators
have been murdered.
49
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:38,154
- They have one common denominator.
- They're all dead.
50
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:42,199
I insist you adopt a more serious
demeanour towards this case.
51
00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:44,714
You're using it
to make mediocre jokes.
52
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:49,920
Don't be fooled, Doreau. My mind
is slowly putting the pieces together.
53
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:54,039
Sooner or later,
I'll get that beef jerky and when I do...
54
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:02,232
How's this investigation coming? Any leads?
55
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:06,074
No, but after a few more get killed,
we'll have more to go on.
56
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,879
A few more... Hammer!
57
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:13,272
You're not supposed to let anybody else
get killed! You're supposed to stop it!
58
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:16,716
Look what the press
has labelled this creep.
59
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,189
This makes me wanna throw up!
60
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:23,717
Look at that. Why is the press
always glorifying violent people?
61
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,633
Why don't they write
about somebody like me?
62
00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:31,077
Sir, can't we postpone these contests?
Under the circumstances.
63
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,720
We tried that. The promoters refused.
64
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:37,998
They're building up to the finals.
These are the preliminaries.
65
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:43,154
Sort of the elimination rounds.
I know what you're talking about.
66
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,435
I feeI a migraine coming on.
67
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:49,308
I have found a method of
stopping those headaches for good.
68
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,312
- What is that?
- Acupuncture.
69
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:56,152
- Get away from me.
- I'm good with needles.
70
00:05:56,240 --> 00:06:00,233
- Get away from me with the needles.
- I do this on myself. I...
71
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,276
Here, listen, watch.
72
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:05,033
- I am known for this.
- No, it's gone!
73
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:08,192
- Give me one chance.
- Stay away from me.
74
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:11,192
- No needles!
- His loss.
75
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:37,111
He had sideburns that were thick and bushy
76
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,839
and his jaw was very rigid-like.
77
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,708
- What's shakin'?
- Another murder.
78
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:52,430
- This woman was a witness.
- Confess! I know you did it! Talk!
79
00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:56,752
- I'll get it out of her.
- She's a witness, not a suspect.
80
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,278
Sorry.
81
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:06,919
- I don't know where my head is at.
- Aha! I think I've got it.
82
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,753
Ma'am, is this the assailant you saw?
83
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,511
That's him. This is the killer.
84
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,990
We have a link between
our killer and his victims.
85
00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:21,835
We have to round up all the Elvis
impersonators with criminaI records.
86
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:25,151
I hate to admit this, Hammer...
but you're right!
87
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:35,989
It's a shame That's Incredible!
isn't on any more.
88
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,275
Can the comments, Hammer.
89
00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:42,751
Do any of these... men resemble
the attacker you saw in the parking lot?
90
00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:45,149
Yes.
91
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,629
- Well, which one?
- All of them.
92
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,515
Is there one in particular?
93
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,751
It's either the second or the fifth man.
94
00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:01,798
Would it help if we asked him to speak?
95
00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:07,192
Wait. Got a better idea.
Number two, step forward.
96
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,390
Do a little bit of your act.
97
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,994
- Hm...
- Stop screwing around!
98
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:17,709
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
99
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,756
Hey, baby, hm...
100
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,070
That's terrible.
101
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,116
Thank you.
102
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:29,671
Hold the applause untiI the end
OK, number five, same thing.
103
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,114
Love me nah nah nah-nah nah
104
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,236
Elvis is my name
105
00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:37,675
Ha, la la ahoy, baby
106
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:40,479
Hey, na na na-na na-na na
107
00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:43,836
- Oh, ha, baby...
- That's the one!
108
00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:45,876
That's the man I saw.
109
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:49,555
- Are you certain?
- Yes! He's the killer.
110
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,230
Clear 'em out of there, please.
111
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,673
If you follow me, I'll file your report now.
112
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:05,275
Well, Captain, we got our man.
113
00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:08,591
Any chance of me
rockin'n'rollin' on his skull?
114
00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:14,676
The man identified is a cop put there
to test the witness's credibility!
115
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:16,910
We're back at square one.
116
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:21,312
Not true, Captain.
We can set a trap for this lard-head.
117
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:24,119
We'll lure him in. I got just the right bait.
118
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:28,830
- What's that?
- Me! I'm gonna do Elvis.
119
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:39,796
'Tired of the humdrum routine of work?'
120
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,030
'Put on some blue, suede shoes
121
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:46,159
'and become one of the millions
of successfuI Elvis impersonators. '
122
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:50,677
'Our instructors will teach you
everything you need to know. '
123
00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:55,515
'So call us today.
We're fully college-accredited. '
124
00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,198
I've checked the background of each victim.
125
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,636
Every one of them
have attended that schooI.
126
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,951
- Uh-huh.
- So I took the liberty of enrolling you.
127
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:12,590
What do I need to go to
some crackpot schooI for?
128
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,750
I know how to imitate Elvis.
129
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:18,992
You just move your lips and
twitch your hips and... look bloated.
130
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:25,633
But maybe the killer also went
to the schooI and knew his victims.
131
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:31,352
You can go there and
see if you can find out about past students.
132
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:33,590
That's a good idea, Doreau.
133
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:38,117
You know, I hate to admit it but...
sometimes you think like a man.
134
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,151
I respect that.
135
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,071
Thanks a lot.
136
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:48,078
Coming from you,
that's quite a compliment.
137
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:52,239
Be carefuI, Sledge.
138
00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:55,949
Attempting to snare a seriaI killer
could end in death.
139
00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:57,996
I certainly hope so.
140
00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:01,117
I haven't killed a seriaI killer in months.
141
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,397
But if I ever do lose my life in the line of duty,
142
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:09,155
there's one very important
last request I'd like you to do.
143
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,118
Sure, Sledge, what is it?
144
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:15,237
Make sure my transmission gets rebuilt.
145
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:30,760
Good afternoon. Welcome to
the SchooI of Elvis Impersonators.
146
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,274
I'm your instructor, Mr P.
147
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,954
After you finish this 12-week course,
148
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:39,555
I'm gonna have moulded
you boys into The King.
149
00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:50,790
Class has begun. You're late.
150
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:56,236
That depends. If I didn't show up at all,
this could be considered early.
151
00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:01,353
Why don't you just take a seat in the rear?
152
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,629
First, let me tell you about myself.
153
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:10,918
I've been doing Elvis for 35 years.
I'm the best.
154
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,310
I'm so good Elvis himself, in his later years,
155
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,709
came to me for a refresher course.
156
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,473
This guy's really out to lunch, huh?
157
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,438
Hey, you. Come up here.
158
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,308
You ain't nothin' but a troublemaker.
159
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,597
You had any troublemakers
like me recently?
160
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:37,955
Why in hell would you ask that, boy?
161
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:41,589
I guess I just have a suspicious mind.
162
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:47,959
I don't think you can make it
in my class, smarty-pants.
163
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:52,192
You're gonna have to prove it to me
that you can. Right now.
164
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:55,033
Or I'm bootin' your hide out of this class.
165
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,429
Now dance!
166
00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:00,273
- What?
- I said dance!
167
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:03,955
I wanna see if you've got
a naturaI sense of rhythm.
168
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,156
Move your body, boy, and dance!
169
00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:22,917
Is that your best stuff, boy?
170
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:26,197
You ain't nothin'
but a big, old wuss.
171
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,991
You think I'm a wuss?
172
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,156
All right! All right!
173
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,636
You want an encore?
174
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,549
You're not supposed to be in here!
175
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:54,633
This is the student record room.
Private. I'm calling the police.
176
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,359
Hold off, friend, I am the police.
177
00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:59,396
Inspector Sledge Hammer.
178
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:02,631
- I'm on an investigation.
- Investigation?
179
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:04,836
Maybe you can help me.
180
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:08,754
Can you think of any past students
who might have, I don't know,
181
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,592
acted... strangely?
182
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:12,159
Yes, all of them.
183
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:16,631
Can you think of one
who might have resorted to... murder?
184
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:20,679
I'm not answering any more questions.
Leave. Right now!
185
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:24,548
I want to get home
in time to watch Mr Belvedere.
186
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,596
I guess somebody has to.
187
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:38,356
The department got you in here
but to lure the killer you have to win.
188
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,874
Don't worry, Doreau, I'll win.
189
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:45,158
You haven't rehearsed. You don't
even know what song you're singing.
190
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,071
Neither did Elvis.
191
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:52,757
Listen, I'm gonna win because
whatever I put my mind to do, I do.
192
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:55,229
Sheer will is my greatest talent.
193
00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:58,874
Well, I have to admire your confidence.
194
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:01,797
Sure you're not nervous?
195
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:04,838
I've never been nervous in my life.
196
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,431
Now, where am I in this line-up?
197
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:22,116
You're following a guy from Dallas
and preceding someone from Miami.
198
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,715
Between Dallas and Miami?
199
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:28,360
What a terrible place for me to be.
200
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,798
I'll be rootin' for you.
201
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:38,874
Now it's time to bring out
our next contestant, Mr Sledge Hammer!
202
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:06,677
Kiss me, darlin'
203
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,591
Oh, kiss me on the lips
204
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:12,639
.. on the mouth
205
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,359
Kiss me...
206
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,398
Every way...
207
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:22,359
Kiss me north and south
208
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,595
Kiss... Kiss me...
209
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:28,353
If you kiss m... Kiss me...
210
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:31,352
- Get out of here!
- Kiss me...
211
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,476
Shut up! Shut up!
212
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:44,315
One thing I demand from an audience
is courtesy.
213
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:59,077
Well, I've never met a woman
Look exactly like you, oh no
214
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:02,470
Well, I've never met a woman
Look exactly like you
215
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,949
Well, I've never met a woman
216
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,110
Bad news as you
217
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:11,310
Hoo!
218
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:26,595
Glory, glory
219
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:31,196
Hallelu-u-u-ujah
220
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,038
His truth
221
00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:42,869
Is marchin' on
222
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:45,796
His truth
223
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:56,313
Is marchin' on
224
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,110
Whoo!
225
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,476
Glory, glory.
226
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,111
Top that.
227
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,838
I'm sorry. That was reflex.
228
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:46,118
I can't believe it! You were brilliant.
229
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,589
I know. Well, I've done my part.
230
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:53,435
Let's see if one of my scum-sucking
competitors takes the bait.
231
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:11,637
Freeze, sea-eeI!
I'm booking you for a lifetime engagement.
232
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:21,318
What's the matter, man?
I was just trying to congratulate the guy.
233
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:25,359
I don't need your kind of praise, ringworm.
Get him outta here.
234
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:31,796
- Looks like we got our man.
- Are you sure?
235
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:35,793
I didn't see his golden microphone.
That's part of his MO.
236
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:39,714
The golden microphone
is probably a load of bunk.
237
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:44,434
Let's see if that bar is still open,
I'll buy you a soda pop.
238
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,995
That man has a golden microphone!
239
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:10,073
Thanks a lot, I really need you
to tell me these things
240
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,836
Who the heck d'you think you are?
241
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:20,879
I'm the greatest impersonator
of Elvis who has ever lived.
242
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:24,234
It was you. You killed them all.
243
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:27,437
- Why?
- Because I am clearly superior.
244
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:31,115
I was laughed at.
That's why they all had to die!
245
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:37,717
OK, freako, but that doesn't explain
why you chose not to waste me.
246
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:42,635
- I knew you were policeman.
- Only one person could have known.
247
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:50,038
I know that guy!
He's the janitor in the Elvis schooI.
248
00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:52,076
I also clean night clubs!
249
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:55,914
For years I have had to watch
people inferior to me
250
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,956
enjoy the bright lights.
251
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:01,874
I can do Elvis more efficiently
than any of you!
252
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,556
Consider yourself under arrest.
253
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,835
And consider yourself dead!
254
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:17,551
Hold it!
255
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:37,028
Goodbye, Sledge Hammer!
256
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:04,592
- Horrible. Just horrible.
- I know.
257
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:09,197
That was the worst high note I ever heard.
258
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,751
Hammer! Hammer, you'll be hap...
259
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:18,879
Hammer!
260
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,354
That freak that you bagged
261
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:29,116
is going to make a full recovery
from his electrifying performance.
262
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,156
Oh, Captain, don't be crueI.
263
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:33,470
Oh, I'm sorry, Hammer.
264
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:37,917
I know you're sensitive about Elvis puns.
It was unintentionaI. Really.
265
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,638
Oh, Hammer!
266
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:44,748
Are you all shook up over sending
a man to do the jailhouse rock?
267
00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:52,076
I'm gettin' outta here.
268
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:55,709
I'm fed up with hearing
about Elvis all the time.
269
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:59,270
- Maybe I'll take a vacation.
- Where will you go?
270
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:02,516
Graceland.
271
00:24:02,566 --> 00:24:07,116
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