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1
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What you're about to see is a
version of the pilot that never aired.
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00:00:04,165 --> 00:00:05,781
It was a version
delivered to the network.
3
00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:08,026
It's about ten minutes longer...
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00:00:08,026 --> 00:00:10,721
that the pilot that was
eventually broadcasted.
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00:00:10,953 --> 00:00:13,108
It also features a different theme song
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00:00:13,824 --> 00:00:17,248
and it has an ending that
I think you will enjoy that.
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00:00:17,248 --> 00:00:19,280
I really wish it could
be originally aired,
8
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,608
but, thanks to DVD, you can see how
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00:00:21,608 --> 00:00:23,239
the show should be aired.
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00:00:57,649 --> 00:00:59,765
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
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00:01:29,929 --> 00:01:32,807
Who are you? Hold it, ski bum!
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'12 hours have passed since the Mayor's
daughter was first reported missing.
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'The police now believe she was kidnapped
or... is just very good at hiding.
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- 'The abduction... '
- About time, Chief.
15
00:02:00,809 --> 00:02:04,245
Mr. Mayor, a squad car found
this in a telephone booth.
16
00:02:04,329 --> 00:02:07,127
An anonymous caller
tipped us off its location.
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"We have your daughter. Pay us
$1 million or we'll kill her."
18
00:02:10,889 --> 00:02:12,880
"Details later. Have a nice day."
19
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$1 million! Good Lord!
20
00:02:16,409 --> 00:02:19,958
By the way, sir, your home security
guard is in critical condition.
21
00:02:20,049 --> 00:02:22,802
Poor man. He was like an employee to me.
22
00:02:22,889 --> 00:02:25,449
'We're at the scene of a
liquor store robbery that was...
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'thwarted by the man beside
me, inspector Sledge Hammer.
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00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,958
'Inspector Hammer,
tell us what happened.'
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00:02:30,958 --> 00:02:33,422
'Well, miss, I went at
the store when two thugs
26
00:02:33,423 --> 00:02:35,886
entered and threatened
the owner with shotguns.
27
00:02:35,969 --> 00:02:38,265
'At that time I drew
my Magnum and killed
28
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'em both, then I bought
some eggs, some milk
29
00:02:40,809 --> 00:02:43,004
'and some of those
little cocktail weenies.'
30
00:02:43,089 --> 00:02:47,048
'Inspector Hammer, was what you did
in the store absolutely necessary?'
31
00:02:47,129 --> 00:02:50,007
'Oh, yes, I had no groceries at all.'
32
00:02:50,849 --> 00:02:54,444
This Sledge Hammer... who is he?
33
00:02:54,529 --> 00:02:58,078
A menace. He used to fire
warning shots at jaywalkers.
34
00:02:58,169 --> 00:03:00,041
After this incident, I suspended him six
35
00:03:00,042 --> 00:03:02,287
months with orders not
to leave his apartment.
36
00:03:02,369 --> 00:03:04,564
Take him off suspension
and put him on this case.
37
00:03:04,649 --> 00:03:07,699
Mr. Mayor, rumour has it that this man
38
00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:10,997
talks to his gun like it was a person!
39
00:03:11,089 --> 00:03:12,946
This isn't open for discussion.
40
00:03:12,947 --> 00:03:15,401
This is an order. I want Sledge Hammer!
41
00:03:25,689 --> 00:03:29,648
What's all the racket?!
42
00:03:29,729 --> 00:03:33,881
Will you put a lid on it!
43
00:03:33,969 --> 00:03:36,483
Hello? Just a minute.
44
00:03:36,569 --> 00:03:39,212
Hey, people, show some consideration!
45
00:03:39,213 --> 00:03:41,927
Keep it down! I'm on the phone, huh?
46
00:03:42,009 --> 00:03:43,890
Hey, other people live here, all right?!
47
00:03:45,849 --> 00:03:47,805
OK, go ahead, speak to me.
48
00:03:48,689 --> 00:03:50,805
You got it. I'll be right down.
49
00:03:53,009 --> 00:03:55,682
You hear that? I'm off suspension.
50
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:58,727
Looks like they can't
keep a good man down, huh?
51
00:03:58,809 --> 00:04:00,561
Or me either.
52
00:04:19,809 --> 00:04:22,960
- Sledge Hammer!
- What's going on? I have get to work.
53
00:04:23,049 --> 00:04:25,165
I've got a sniper on that roof.
54
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:31,918
That no-good,
yoghurt-eating creep!
55
00:04:32,009 --> 00:04:33,198
- Building evacuated?
- Yeah.
56
00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:39,560
We got vermin on the
roof... but I got an idea.
57
00:04:39,649 --> 00:04:42,209
- Who are you talking to?
- Nobody.
58
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,489
What are you doin'? You'll get killed!
59
00:05:22,369 --> 00:05:24,325
I think I got him.
60
00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:40,362
- What's the problem?
- The lousy machine took my money.
61
00:05:40,449 --> 00:05:42,724
Stand away from it.
62
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:44,561
No!
63
00:05:50,969 --> 00:05:54,120
Hammer! In my office right now!
64
00:05:58,889 --> 00:06:02,438
What the hell did I tell you
about firing your gun inside?
65
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,485
Er, you said, er... don't do it.
66
00:06:04,569 --> 00:06:05,909
You damn right I talked not to do it!
67
00:06:05,910 --> 00:06:08,118
And take off those damn
sunglasses when I'm talking to you!
68
00:06:08,209 --> 00:06:10,325
- What sunglasses...?
- I said, take 'em off!
69
00:06:12,889 --> 00:06:17,167
You couldn't resist it, you
couldn't resist blowing up a building
70
00:06:17,249 --> 00:06:20,047
on your way to work, could you, Hammer?
71
00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:24,247
Look, the only way to fight criminals
is to be wilder than they are.
72
00:06:24,329 --> 00:06:28,447
- Pow! That's my message.
- I feel a migraine coming on.
73
00:06:28,529 --> 00:06:30,201
A migraine here.
74
00:06:30,289 --> 00:06:32,032
Captain, I feel that the reason you get
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00:06:32,033 --> 00:06:34,043
these headaches is
your neck is outta line.
76
00:06:34,129 --> 00:06:36,689
You need a chiropractic adjustment.
77
00:06:36,769 --> 00:06:39,283
That better?
78
00:06:39,369 --> 00:06:43,567
You sadistic, depraved,
bloodthirsty, barbaric...
79
00:06:43,649 --> 00:06:46,083
You call me in to shower
me with compliments?
80
00:06:46,169 --> 00:06:49,559
No! You heard what happened
to the Mayor's daughter?
81
00:06:49,649 --> 00:06:49,877
No.
82
00:06:49,878 --> 00:06:52,880
What's the matter with you,
Hammer? Don't you read the papers?
83
00:06:53,609 --> 00:06:56,092
No, I get information from more reliable
84
00:06:56,093 --> 00:06:58,637
sources like rumour and small children.
85
00:06:59,809 --> 00:07:03,245
She was kidnapped last night
from the Mayor's own home.
86
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:06,279
You have been personally requested
87
00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:09,362
to head up the investigation
into the matter.
88
00:07:09,449 --> 00:07:12,885
Requested? Really? By whom?
89
00:07:12,969 --> 00:07:17,759
By me. I'm impressed with the
way you get results, Hammer.
90
00:07:17,849 --> 00:07:21,080
Chief Reisner said me that once you
obtained information from a suspect
91
00:07:21,169 --> 00:07:22,738
by tying him to the back of your car
92
00:07:22,739 --> 00:07:24,525
and dragging him through half the city.
93
00:07:24,609 --> 00:07:29,160
No, that's bunk! Half the city?
No, we never left the parking lot.
94
00:07:30,129 --> 00:07:33,758
Chief, I find this
man perfectly rational.
95
00:07:33,849 --> 00:07:35,646
Anybody mind if I smoke?
96
00:07:35,729 --> 00:07:39,358
Oh, you light a cigarette in front
of me, sir, you know what you get?
97
00:07:39,449 --> 00:07:41,679
- Whoa! No!
- A stick of gum.
98
00:07:41,769 --> 00:07:45,284
The Surgeon General has determined
cigarette smoking is very bad for health.
99
00:07:45,369 --> 00:07:46,723
Why don't you just quit?
100
00:07:48,169 --> 00:07:51,400
- Pardon me.
- Ah, Detective, please, come in.
101
00:07:51,489 --> 00:07:53,824
Gentlemen, meet Detective
Dori Doreau. There is
102
00:07:53,825 --> 00:07:56,483
no one more knowledgeable in her field.
103
00:07:57,489 --> 00:08:00,130
Which is arranging things
in alphabetical order?
104
00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:01,528
Hammer, I'm warning you!
105
00:08:01,609 --> 00:08:05,966
It's all right, Captain, my background in
terrorist psychology and defence tactics
106
00:08:06,049 --> 00:08:07,881
should hold its own against any joke.
107
00:08:19,889 --> 00:08:23,848
The voice of the man who called
with the ransom note tip was on tape.
108
00:08:23,929 --> 00:08:25,708
The voice belongs to the leader of a
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00:08:25,709 --> 00:08:28,081
clandestine terrorist
group known as the AVON.
110
00:08:28,169 --> 00:08:30,967
Avon? Ding dong!
111
00:08:31,049 --> 00:08:35,600
The Allied Violent Offence Network.
Could we kill the lights, please?
112
00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:38,078
Keep that gun in your holster, Hammer!
113
00:08:45,529 --> 00:08:47,884
This is the symbol of the organization.
114
00:08:49,009 --> 00:08:51,523
I feel it speaks for itself.
115
00:08:53,729 --> 00:08:56,766
This is the leader of the
group: Weird Williard Luxley.
116
00:08:56,849 --> 00:08:59,682
Luxley's family was so certain
that he'd turn out rotten...
117
00:08:59,769 --> 00:09:03,398
that they put him up for adoption
three years before he was born.
118
00:09:03,489 --> 00:09:07,243
This is Feliz Navidad, a
fiery Latin revolutionary
119
00:09:07,329 --> 00:09:11,038
who illegally entered this country
by posing as Julio Iglesias.
120
00:09:12,834 --> 00:09:13,662
Next...
121
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:16,401
Cottage Cheese Clodman, black militant.
122
00:09:17,077 --> 00:09:19,605
Coldman actually came
from a welthy family...
123
00:09:19,605 --> 00:09:20,793
and born white.
124
00:09:20,973 --> 00:09:23,924
He had his race surgically
changed in order to feel opressed.
125
00:09:26,258 --> 00:09:27,106
Who's that?
126
00:09:29,811 --> 00:09:30,914
My nephew.
127
00:09:33,483 --> 00:09:35,555
Sorry, I brought the
proyector from home.
128
00:09:37,429 --> 00:09:43,186
Lastly, we have former member
Kurt Kruggle, a despicable pervert.
129
00:09:43,269 --> 00:09:46,818
First arrested five years ago
for making love to a fire hydrant.
130
00:09:46,909 --> 00:09:49,900
An additional charge was brought against
Kruggle for parking in front of it.
131
00:09:50,901 --> 00:09:52,267
Could we have the lights, please?
132
00:09:54,169 --> 00:09:56,500
Well. I heard enough. I'll
find Kruggle, torture him,
133
00:09:56,501 --> 00:09:58,924
and get him to tell me where
those scumsuckers are heading.
134
00:09:59,009 --> 00:10:04,447
I don't care what methods do you use,
Hammer, just bring back my daughter.
135
00:10:04,529 --> 00:10:06,485
I will, sir, dead or alive.
136
00:10:07,169 --> 00:10:09,922
The point is to bring
her back alive, Hammer.
137
00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:12,906
Right, alive, of course.
When I say dead...
138
00:10:12,907 --> 00:10:15,606
No, no, I don't know where my head's at.
139
00:10:17,129 --> 00:10:21,566
Er, Sledge, it's my
idea that you and Doreau
140
00:10:21,649 --> 00:10:24,004
would sort of... team up...
141
00:10:24,089 --> 00:10:25,841
on this case.
142
00:10:26,889 --> 00:10:29,164
She's, er... She's a woman, sir.
143
00:10:29,969 --> 00:10:34,326
I mean, she's a woman. Look
at her. She's a woman, sir.
144
00:10:34,409 --> 00:10:36,392
She's clearly a woman.
With alll due respect...
145
00:10:36,393 --> 00:10:37,879
Look, I'm not gonna
partner with a woman.
146
00:10:37,969 --> 00:10:39,726
You will partner with Pia Zadora if the
147
00:10:39,727 --> 00:10:41,484
Chief asks you to! Do you understand?
148
00:10:41,569 --> 00:10:45,278
- The only partner I need is my amigo!
- I told you put that...
149
00:10:48,249 --> 00:10:51,764
- Sorry, Captain, that was reflex.
- Reflex?
150
00:10:54,329 --> 00:10:56,285
Come on, lady.
151
00:11:00,009 --> 00:11:03,558
That man makes Rambo
look like Pee-wee Herman.
152
00:11:07,128 --> 00:11:08,533
Sledge Hammer is your real name?
153
00:11:08,534 --> 00:11:09,268
Yes.
154
00:11:10,229 --> 00:11:11,333
Your father's name is Jack?
155
00:11:12,006 --> 00:11:12,789
How did you know?
156
00:11:26,324 --> 00:11:29,456
I take it you're driving. Better
start searching for Kruggle.
157
00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:31,584
All right. Look, lady, as long as we're
158
00:11:31,585 --> 00:11:33,748
stuck together, let's
get one thing straight.
159
00:11:33,829 --> 00:11:38,266
I'm the guy, I'm the man, I'm the
guy. And I call the shots. Got it?
160
00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:41,625
I call the shots and I
fire the shots, comprehendo?
161
00:11:41,709 --> 00:11:43,157
Don't tell me. I bet you think all
162
00:11:43,158 --> 00:11:44,860
women should be barefoot and pregnant.
163
00:11:44,949 --> 00:11:46,934
No, I encourage women to wear shoes.
164
00:11:48,069 --> 00:11:51,266
Why don't you drop this
adolescent, macho cop act of yours?
165
00:11:51,349 --> 00:11:53,449
It's humanly impossible for anyone to be
166
00:11:53,450 --> 00:11:55,706
as nihilistic as
you're pretending to be.
167
00:12:06,469 --> 00:12:08,221
Freeze, pizza face!
168
00:12:10,469 --> 00:12:13,222
- There you are, ma'am. You all right?
- Thank you!
169
00:12:13,309 --> 00:12:16,619
This kinda stuff
shouldn't happen. Bye-bye.
170
00:12:16,709 --> 00:12:19,382
All right, stand up, rag-weed, pronto!
171
00:12:21,789 --> 00:12:26,180
- Hammer, what are you doing?
- I'll teach this genetic mistake a lesson.
172
00:12:26,269 --> 00:12:30,023
We're in front of City Hall. Wanna
be taken in for police brutality?
173
00:12:30,109 --> 00:12:31,106
What a...
174
00:12:32,709 --> 00:12:36,827
All right, all right, I'm not
even gonna touch this sea urchin.
175
00:12:36,909 --> 00:12:41,674
Stand back, Doreau. So, big shot,
time to pick on somebody your own size.
176
00:12:42,709 --> 00:12:44,859
- Punch yourself in the mouth.
- What?
177
00:12:44,949 --> 00:12:49,500
You heard me, punch yourself in
the mouth right now. It's an order.
178
00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:54,744
Oh, come on, harder than that.
Otherwise I'm gonna do, I'm telling you.
179
00:12:57,469 --> 00:13:00,454
All right, that was nice. Now
slug yourself in the stomach.
180
00:13:02,509 --> 00:13:05,626
I'm running outta time.
Just finish yourself off.
181
00:13:24,309 --> 00:13:27,107
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
182
00:13:27,189 --> 00:13:30,261
All right, Doreau, let's scour
the seamy side of this city
183
00:13:30,349 --> 00:13:33,898
and find ourselves a sleazeball
by the name of Kruggle.
184
00:13:37,229 --> 00:13:40,380
I recommend you invest
in Company Industrial...
185
00:13:58,109 --> 00:13:59,159
You sure he's here?
186
00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:00,539
According with the
license, that's his van.
187
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,260
Girls wait in the car!
188
00:14:01,349 --> 00:14:04,864
- Yeah, I'm with you.
- Look, you're gonna get me killed!
189
00:14:04,949 --> 00:14:06,697
I'm a cop, not some schoolmarm.
190
00:14:07,709 --> 00:14:10,866
All right. Just make sure
nobody comes in after me, OK?
191
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:19,538
- OK, ladies, wait in the john.
- They don't speak English.
192
00:14:22,549 --> 00:14:25,347
- You spoke perfect Swedish.
- These are the only words I know.
193
00:14:25,429 --> 00:14:29,058
All right, look, I'm a cop.
My name is Sledge Hammer.
194
00:14:29,149 --> 00:14:31,424
Sledge Hammer?
195
00:14:31,509 --> 00:14:37,061
- I'm taking you in for questioning. -
Wait, I-I gotta put some clothes on first.
196
00:14:37,149 --> 00:14:41,108
- Well, go ahead and do it.
- Could you turn around?
197
00:14:41,189 --> 00:14:44,261
Please? I'm modest.
198
00:14:51,469 --> 00:14:55,098
OK, I'm decent now, you stinking cop!
199
00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:59,463
Always keep a gun on you
when you get a massage?
200
00:14:59,549 --> 00:15:03,814
How else a guy like me gonna
get a woman to give me one?
201
00:15:03,815 --> 00:15:05,385
Drop the piece, huh?
202
00:15:06,429 --> 00:15:07,987
Slowly.
203
00:15:14,669 --> 00:15:16,625
I heard a shot.
204
00:15:19,189 --> 00:15:21,145
Hi-ya!
205
00:15:23,069 --> 00:15:27,187
Doreau, that was excessively
violent and completely unnecessary.
206
00:15:27,269 --> 00:15:29,225
I loved it. It was poetry in motion.
207
00:15:29,309 --> 00:15:33,268
Thank you. I was top of my
class in hand-to-hand combat.
208
00:15:35,549 --> 00:15:39,542
- I'd like to fight you sometime, Doreau.
- You're on.
209
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:45,301
- So who do you think the cowboy is?
- Oh, he's the manager. Good friend of mine.
210
00:15:45,389 --> 00:15:47,122
Let's get out of here
before he wakes up.
211
00:15:47,853 --> 00:15:49,809
All right, troublemaker, let's go.
212
00:15:50,949 --> 00:15:52,905
These were a Christmas gift.
213
00:15:58,029 --> 00:16:00,987
I told you a hundred
times, I don't know nothin'!
214
00:16:02,949 --> 00:16:06,624
It's freezing in here. Can I
have some hot coffee or something?
215
00:16:08,549 --> 00:16:12,224
Yeah, sure. Doreau, pass me
the hot coffee, would you?
216
00:16:12,309 --> 00:16:14,584
- It is cold in here.
- Yeah.
217
00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:16,625
Brrr!
218
00:16:20,069 --> 00:16:23,539
Whoa! I forgot to give you
a cup! I'm sorry, Kruggle!
219
00:16:23,629 --> 00:16:26,780
- What are you doing?
- You did that on purpose.
220
00:16:26,869 --> 00:16:28,888
You can't do that, man, I got my rights!
221
00:16:30,229 --> 00:16:33,020
Listen, I'm the inspector
Sledge Hammer. I don't give
222
00:16:33,021 --> 00:16:34,984
a damn about the rights of criminals!
223
00:16:35,069 --> 00:16:39,028
The only rights I'm interested
in defending are the rights of...
224
00:16:39,109 --> 00:16:41,259
- American citizens!
- I'm a citizen.
225
00:16:41,349 --> 00:16:44,022
Shut up! Don't confuse me.
226
00:16:46,989 --> 00:16:49,503
I ain't telling you pigs nothin'.
227
00:16:54,201 --> 00:16:54,863
OK, slimeball.
228
00:16:56,469 --> 00:16:59,700
- I'm taking you to the circus.
- The circus?
229
00:17:02,029 --> 00:17:04,463
I never been to the circus before.
230
00:17:05,869 --> 00:17:09,066
Whaddaya talkin' about,
man, I'm going to the circus?
231
00:17:09,149 --> 00:17:11,105
This is great.
232
00:17:11,869 --> 00:17:15,418
All right, Kruggle, for the
last time... what do you know?
233
00:17:15,509 --> 00:17:18,706
You don't scare me, man,
you ain't gonna shoot.
234
00:17:18,789 --> 00:17:21,940
- OK, OK, I'll talk!
- Hammer!
235
00:17:22,029 --> 00:17:24,383
Er... Luxley, he said
that he and some of
236
00:17:24,384 --> 00:17:26,625
the old gang were going to get together
237
00:17:26,709 --> 00:17:28,665
and kidnap the Mayor's daughter.
238
00:17:28,749 --> 00:17:31,468
He asked me if I wanted to
help. I told him, "No way!"
239
00:17:31,549 --> 00:17:34,109
- What else?
- That's it, I swear!
240
00:17:36,269 --> 00:17:41,866
Oh, yeah, Luxley said that they had
one person working on the inside.
241
00:17:41,949 --> 00:17:44,019
- Yeah, who was that?
- I don't know.
242
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,583
Someone really close to the
Mayor, that's all I know.
243
00:17:48,669 --> 00:17:52,344
- Yeah? Who?
- He... he didn't say.
244
00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:58,028
Please release me, let me go.
245
00:17:59,989 --> 00:18:02,344
Doreau, put that blindfold on me.
246
00:18:05,349 --> 00:18:08,261
You know, this is one
shot I always miss.
247
00:18:14,233 --> 00:18:15,786
Someone the Mayor
gives a lot of money to!
248
00:18:15,869 --> 00:18:18,375
That's absolutely all I
know! You gotta believe me!
249
00:18:23,309 --> 00:18:25,704
- You hit the balloon.
- Yeah, I know.
250
00:18:26,549 --> 00:18:27,668
I missed.
251
00:18:36,069 --> 00:18:38,649
I have access to the names and salaries
252
00:18:38,650 --> 00:18:39,999
of everyone on the Mayor's payroll.
253
00:18:43,629 --> 00:18:46,063
Why are you prejudiced
against computers?
254
00:18:46,589 --> 00:18:50,707
That's how I met my wife...
on a computer dating service.
255
00:18:50,789 --> 00:18:53,542
- You're married, Hammer?
- Was married.
256
00:18:54,669 --> 00:18:56,819
She ran off about three years ago
257
00:18:56,909 --> 00:19:00,060
with some geek member
of the Peace Corps.
258
00:19:00,149 --> 00:19:04,142
Said he was more sensitive than me.
Can you believe that? Oh, my God!
259
00:19:04,829 --> 00:19:07,627
Well, you know... Some women
can't take being married to a cop.
260
00:19:07,709 --> 00:19:12,260
I don't know. I guess some women
can't take being married to a cop.
261
00:19:13,549 --> 00:19:17,098
She accused me of bringing
my work home with me.
262
00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:20,946
She didn't understand. You don't
leave it at the office. I'm a cop!
263
00:19:22,538 --> 00:19:26,143
Everybody wants results but, you
know, nobody's willing to do it,
264
00:19:26,229 --> 00:19:28,065
nobody's willing to take the action.
265
00:19:29,189 --> 00:19:33,148
All the other cops
are... wusses, except me.
266
00:19:35,589 --> 00:19:37,739
Can't let my guard down for one minute.
267
00:19:39,069 --> 00:19:42,345
Hammer... you just did.
268
00:19:49,949 --> 00:19:52,588
Punch up the Mayor's personal finances.
269
00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:55,547
I'll bet the perpetrator is a
member of his immediate family.
270
00:19:55,629 --> 00:19:59,099
Well, that only leaves the Mayor's
wife, which is highly unlikely.
271
00:19:59,189 --> 00:20:01,150
She's one of the most
respected women in the city.
272
00:20:03,909 --> 00:20:08,266
Look at this. Mrs. Flambo supports
every worthy charity in existence.
273
00:20:08,349 --> 00:20:11,864
- Yeah? All except my favourite one.
- What's that?
274
00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:13,428
Toy Guns For Tots.
275
00:20:15,349 --> 00:20:19,900
Hammer! Hammer! Hammer!
You did it again, Hammer!
276
00:20:19,989 --> 00:20:23,948
Kurt Kruggle is filing a complaint
against you as we speak right now!
277
00:20:24,029 --> 00:20:28,625
Said you turned a simple questioning
session into a full-fledged carnival!
278
00:20:28,709 --> 00:20:30,054
It's not true. There was no trapeze
279
00:20:30,055 --> 00:20:31,667
act, no elephants. It had the flavour...
280
00:20:31,749 --> 00:20:36,265
Captain Trunk, Hammer has managed
to obtain vital information...
281
00:20:36,349 --> 00:20:38,101
Shut up, Doreau!
282
00:20:38,189 --> 00:20:40,655
You keep defending
this buffoon's actions
283
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:41,851
and you're gonna be in hot water, too!
284
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:59,826
- Well, the traitor is the wife.
- What, mrs. Flambo?
285
00:20:59,909 --> 00:21:02,460
That's right. The wife kidnapped
her own innocent daughter.
286
00:21:03,140 --> 00:21:04,633
I'm gonna have a chat with her.
287
00:21:04,879 --> 00:21:08,108
Look, Hammer, I totally
disagree with this theory,
288
00:21:08,189 --> 00:21:12,341
but as your partner, I'm
prepared to back you up 100%.
289
00:21:12,429 --> 00:21:15,785
Let me go with you. I'm
just gonna make a few calls.
290
00:21:24,149 --> 00:21:26,709
- I like her.
- Who are you talking to?
291
00:21:26,789 --> 00:21:28,541
Just...
292
00:21:32,949 --> 00:21:37,306
- My wife? That's absurd!
- Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
293
00:21:37,389 --> 00:21:39,744
Sorry about the handcuffs.
She resisted to the arrest.
294
00:21:39,829 --> 00:21:41,979
Quite a fighter. I guess you know that.
295
00:21:42,069 --> 00:21:45,459
- Janice...
- Take it off, take it off!
296
00:21:45,549 --> 00:21:49,508
You would not believe the
indignity I've been put through!
297
00:21:49,589 --> 00:21:52,740
I hate to say it, sir, but
your wife is a lying, scheming,
298
00:21:52,829 --> 00:21:55,821
deceitful, no-good
piece of white trash.
299
00:21:55,909 --> 00:21:58,231
I've known that for years. But she had
300
00:21:58,232 --> 00:22:00,858
nothing to do with
the kidnapping! Chief!
301
00:22:00,949 --> 00:22:04,658
Put this numbskull back on
suspension for the rest of his life!
302
00:22:04,749 --> 00:22:07,900
- I don't understand.
- I've just had a call from the kidnappers!
303
00:22:07,989 --> 00:22:10,344
- Aha. - They've given
me a drop-off location
304
00:22:10,429 --> 00:22:12,385
and a demand for a private jet.
305
00:22:12,469 --> 00:22:15,825
I have no course now but to
capitulate, thanks to you!
306
00:22:17,349 --> 00:22:22,218
Doreau, I want you to
deliver the ransom to them.
307
00:22:22,309 --> 00:22:26,427
Wait a minute, the messenger is
probably gonna get killed. Let me do it.
308
00:22:26,509 --> 00:22:29,706
- That sounds like a terrific idea.
- No.
309
00:22:29,789 --> 00:22:32,861
The last thing I need on
my hands now is a shoot-out.
310
00:22:32,949 --> 00:22:36,624
Hammer, I'm ordering you to return
to your apartment and to stay there.
311
00:22:36,709 --> 00:22:38,279
I'm sorry, I'll have
to ask for your badge.
312
00:22:42,749 --> 00:22:44,705
Now, get out!
313
00:22:47,989 --> 00:22:50,947
- Be carefuI, Doreau.
- I will, Hammer.
314
00:23:18,629 --> 00:23:20,142
Hello?
315
00:23:31,109 --> 00:23:33,065
Is anybody here?
316
00:23:39,989 --> 00:23:43,106
Step forward. Slowly.
317
00:23:46,389 --> 00:23:50,541
So they sent us a little lady...
and a foxy one at that, too.
318
00:23:53,709 --> 00:23:57,907
Hand over the money, tramp. You'll
be escorting us to that jet, too.
319
00:23:57,989 --> 00:24:00,457
Not until I see that
Francine Flambo is safe.
320
00:24:01,029 --> 00:24:04,863
- Feliz!
- Yeah. Come on, come on, come on.
321
00:24:08,469 --> 00:24:12,018
- How you doin', Francine?
- I haven't eaten in a day and a half
322
00:24:12,109 --> 00:24:14,100
and I missed last night's Dynasty.
323
00:24:17,069 --> 00:24:21,187
Heh heh heh! Police person is clean!
324
00:24:21,269 --> 00:24:23,416
Drop the victimized
society girl routine.
325
00:24:23,417 --> 00:24:25,308
You're accomplice in your own abduction.
326
00:24:25,389 --> 00:24:27,345
What are you talkin' about, pig?
327
00:24:27,429 --> 00:24:29,488
Financial records
gave me the name of the
328
00:24:29,489 --> 00:24:31,547
college Francine
attended four years ago.
329
00:24:31,629 --> 00:24:34,223
You attended it at exactly
the same time, Luxley.
330
00:24:34,309 --> 00:24:36,982
My hunch is that you know
each other and are an item.
331
00:24:39,549 --> 00:24:43,667
I applaud your ingenuity.
You see, I loathe my father.
332
00:24:43,749 --> 00:24:46,866
Now I'll escape from
under his fascist thumb
333
00:24:46,949 --> 00:24:49,622
along with my lover, my comrades...
334
00:24:49,709 --> 00:24:52,223
and one million dollars!
335
00:24:52,309 --> 00:24:56,063
- Perfect plan, Francine.
- And once we're safely away,
336
00:24:56,149 --> 00:24:58,458
I'll kill you myself.
337
00:24:58,549 --> 00:25:02,258
You'd kill me for a briefcase
full of shredded paper?
338
00:25:06,829 --> 00:25:10,219
There's nothing but confetti in here!
339
00:25:14,989 --> 00:25:17,139
Surprise! Party's over, cupcakes!
340
00:25:17,229 --> 00:25:21,461
- And just who are you, man?
- Yeah, sucker, and why are you smilin'?
341
00:25:21,549 --> 00:25:24,825
- Why? Because I'm
trigger-happy! - You're dead, man!
342
00:25:26,949 --> 00:25:28,977
You may be right.
Let's get it over with.
343
00:25:28,978 --> 00:25:30,908
I got an aerobics class in the morning.
344
00:25:35,549 --> 00:25:40,100
You've just ruined my best
sports jacket. Now I'm really mad!
345
00:26:20,069 --> 00:26:23,061
I almost forgot I had
a grenade in my pocket.
346
00:26:25,589 --> 00:26:28,262
Lucky this jacket didn't
go to the cleaner's.
347
00:26:34,149 --> 00:26:35,468
Aw!
348
00:26:37,189 --> 00:26:40,147
Ahh! Oooh!
349
00:26:40,829 --> 00:26:43,184
Three down... one to go.
350
00:26:50,589 --> 00:26:54,980
- You deserve a good spanking, girly.
- Drop the gun or this broad gets it.
351
00:26:55,069 --> 00:26:57,454
Please, be my guest. Go ahead, kill her.
352
00:26:57,455 --> 00:27:00,018
And then I'll just
go ahead and kill you.
353
00:27:00,109 --> 00:27:02,748
- She's serious, Hammer.
- I'm sure she is, Doreau.
354
00:27:02,829 --> 00:27:06,504
As a policewoman, I know you're
prepared to die in the line of duty.
355
00:27:11,869 --> 00:27:14,429
All right, stud, it's just you and me.
356
00:27:14,509 --> 00:27:17,501
Drop the gun. I know you'd
never shoot at a woman.
357
00:27:19,549 --> 00:27:24,100
- Ohh!
- Sorry, Francine... call me a feminist.
358
00:27:27,749 --> 00:27:29,102
Does that hurt?
359
00:27:29,189 --> 00:27:32,306
Any time a really nice sports
jacket gets ruined, it hurts.
360
00:27:32,389 --> 00:27:34,897
Thank goodness you followed me here.
361
00:27:34,898 --> 00:27:37,668
No, don't thank goodness... thank gun.
362
00:27:41,269 --> 00:27:43,225
Thanks, Sledge.
363
00:27:44,069 --> 00:27:46,025
Enough warmth.
364
00:27:50,449 --> 00:27:53,168
My own daughter. Just like her mother...
365
00:27:53,249 --> 00:27:54,602
an idiot.
366
00:27:54,689 --> 00:27:59,399
Nevertheless... Doreau,
congratulations on a job well done.
367
00:27:59,489 --> 00:28:02,640
Thank you, sir, but I can't
take all the credit myself.
368
00:28:02,729 --> 00:28:04,367
Yeah, you can.
369
00:28:04,449 --> 00:28:07,646
Detective Doreau, in a few
moments it'll be my great pleasure
370
00:28:07,729 --> 00:28:10,289
to present you with a full promotion.
371
00:28:10,369 --> 00:28:13,645
What about Hammer? I wouldn't
be here if it weren't for him.
372
00:28:13,729 --> 00:28:16,352
Hammer broke the rules. He
will remain on suspension.
373
00:28:17,609 --> 00:28:20,430
- That's not fair!
- Stop worrying about Hammer!
374
00:28:20,430 --> 00:28:23,092
Concern yourself with your own career.
375
00:28:23,093 --> 00:28:25,684
Let's go. Got 50
reporters waiting outside.
376
00:28:25,769 --> 00:28:28,174
Here's your acceptance
speech. Basically it
377
00:28:28,175 --> 00:28:30,524
says how much you
admire my administration
378
00:28:30,609 --> 00:28:34,921
and how well you think I react
under fire. I wrote it myself.
379
00:28:37,249 --> 00:28:40,685
Thank you, sir, I respectfully
decline the promotion.
380
00:28:42,049 --> 00:28:45,325
What? Am I hearing correctly?
381
00:28:48,769 --> 00:28:51,408
Seems like you're hearing pretty well.
382
00:28:52,729 --> 00:28:57,166
- Let's go, partner.
- Doreau... you're off your rocker!
383
00:28:57,249 --> 00:28:59,319
True...
384
00:28:59,409 --> 00:29:01,559
but I know what I'm doing.
385
00:29:14,316 --> 00:29:17,067
I'm angry that they
maintain your suspension.
386
00:29:17,067 --> 00:29:18,091
Oh, don't worry.
387
00:29:19,063 --> 00:29:20,645
They won't keep there for long.
388
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:23,412
They all know the city streets are safer
389
00:29:23,412 --> 00:29:25,404
with a crackpot like
me to keep in order.
390
00:29:25,478 --> 00:29:26,347
This happens to me all the time.
391
00:29:26,347 --> 00:29:28,063
I should be off suspension by tomorrow.
392
00:29:29,090 --> 00:29:30,584
Yoy are telling me that I passed from
393
00:29:30,585 --> 00:29:32,240
the promotion for reasons of principles
394
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:33,500
but I didn't have to?
395
00:29:34,013 --> 00:29:35,285
Apparently yes.
396
00:29:35,285 --> 00:29:36,718
Listen, I have a great idea.
397
00:29:36,718 --> 00:29:39,066
Why don't I moved to your house
and you can cook me a dinner,
398
00:29:39,066 --> 00:29:41,297
because mi all-time
favorite movie is on TV?
399
00:29:41,529 --> 00:29:43,735
Wait, don't tell me: Dirty Harry.
400
00:29:44,334 --> 00:29:46,085
No, that won't didn't work for me.
401
00:29:46,235 --> 00:29:47,786
I just found this too violent.
402
00:29:47,836 --> 00:29:52,386
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