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1
00:00:01,305 --> 00:00:04,134
♪ Go wild, go crazy
2
00:00:04,265 --> 00:00:06,484
♪ Go wild, go crazy
3
00:00:06,615 --> 00:00:08,269
♪ Go wild
4
00:00:08,399 --> 00:00:10,140
♪ Go crazy ♪Okay!
5
00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:13,839
This next song goes out to
Emma and Amy's new guinea pig,
6
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,189
P-P-P-Pickle!
7
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:16,842
[YoungBloodZ's "Damn!"plays]
8
00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:19,106
[children chanting
"Go, Pickle!"]
9
00:00:19,236 --> 00:00:20,063
Crank up the fog,
Miggy!
10
00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:23,284
I'm about to teach Pickle
the Eastside Stomp.
11
00:00:23,414 --> 00:00:24,198
I got you!
12
00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:26,026
[chanting continues]
13
00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:29,203
♪ Don't start no...
won't be no... ♪
14
00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:31,814
♪ I post up, get to it,
drink hand in hand ♪
15
00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:32,945
♪ They call me...
16
00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:34,077
Ladies!
17
00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:36,123
Homemade, gluten-free,
butterscotch cookies
18
00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:38,473
shaped like every kind of cloud
while you wait?ANGIE: No, thanks.
19
00:00:38,603 --> 00:00:39,648
I gotta take Graham
to basketball sign-up.
20
00:00:39,778 --> 00:00:41,519
I thought he wasn't
doing basketball
21
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:43,826
because he wanted
to do the spelling bee.Mm, no.
22
00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:45,132
He's psyched.
23
00:00:45,262 --> 00:00:46,829
His hands are finally big enough
to hold the ball.
24
00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:48,091
Which is why
it was such a tough decision,
25
00:00:48,222 --> 00:00:50,441
but, ultimately,
my man's heart was in the bee.
26
00:00:50,572 --> 00:00:52,139
Right.
How do you know all this?
27
00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:53,966
I don't know. We talk.
28
00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:54,967
I don't know if I think
God's up there
29
00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:56,056
with, like,
a big long beard,
30
00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:58,754
but I definitely believe
in something.
31
00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:01,191
I think God's a woman.
32
00:01:03,324 --> 00:01:04,325
[chuckles]
33
00:01:04,455 --> 00:01:06,109
That was a Friday Craft Corner
to remember, you know?
34
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,545
No, I really don't.
35
00:01:07,676 --> 00:01:09,939
Oh, this guinea pig
is costing me a fortune.
36
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,202
Only eats little gem lettuce.
Outrageous.
37
00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:13,943
There's smoke coming out
of your windows.
38
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,075
Your house is on fire.
39
00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:16,902
Okay, so, in the future,
40
00:01:17,033 --> 00:01:18,208
if you think my house
is on fire,
41
00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:19,122
let's lead with that.
42
00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:21,124
And that's just
Miggy's fog machine.
43
00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:22,952
He's deejaying a dance party
for the kids.
44
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,214
Hippie's gotta get a job.
45
00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:25,998
Well, he starts
at the Winebrary tomorrow,
46
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:27,217
and he's been
so motivated.
47
00:01:27,348 --> 00:01:28,740
I think he's
really growing up.
48
00:01:28,871 --> 00:01:31,134
Aah! Come quick!
We need an adult!
49
00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:33,005
-Sophie?! [coughs]
-Graham?!
50
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:35,182
-Rory!
-Emma and Sally?
51
00:01:35,312 --> 00:01:36,357
I mean, Amy?
52
00:01:36,487 --> 00:01:38,141
I stomped on Pickle!
It's bad!
53
00:01:38,272 --> 00:01:40,361
-Oh, it can't be that bad.
-Where is she?
54
00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:42,580
Over here.
H-How does she look?
55
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:44,234
Ohh!
Ohh! Ohh!
56
00:01:44,365 --> 00:01:49,761
♪♪
57
00:01:49,892 --> 00:01:50,936
♪♪
58
00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:52,677
GRAHAM: I held her.[cat meows]
59
00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:55,332
I saw her
drifting away.
60
00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:57,508
Sniff the scarf, honey.
You're okay.
61
00:01:57,639 --> 00:01:59,728
Hey, Lil G.
How you holding up?
62
00:01:59,858 --> 00:02:01,251
Not great, Big Dubs.
63
00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:03,210
Can I get a hit
of that sweatshirt?
64
00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:04,211
Sure.
65
00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:06,474
Hey, Will,
doesn't Sophie need you?
66
00:02:06,604 --> 00:02:07,823
No, she does not.
67
00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:10,695
When it comes to pets,
she's always been my rock.
68
00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:16,048
♪ Amazing grace
69
00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:16,962
♪ How s--
70
00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:18,181
Flush it.
It's a goldfish.
71
00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:19,704
He was also my son!
72
00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:20,618
[toilet flushes]
73
00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:23,055
He's in a better place now.
74
00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:26,276
[kids grunting]
75
00:02:26,407 --> 00:02:28,409
This machine
took our gummy worms!
76
00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:31,412
We gotta buy a second one
to push the first one out.
77
00:02:31,542 --> 00:02:33,370
No, no, no.
You do that, they win.
78
00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:36,286
Hey, boss! B-B-Boss!
79
00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:38,114
Man, I'm so psyched
about my first day.
80
00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:40,160
I've been studying
so much about wine.
81
00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:41,813
Miggy, I hate to stifle
your enthusiasm,
82
00:02:41,944 --> 00:02:44,120
but a life
hangs in the balance.
83
00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:45,600
We've been waiting
for too long!
84
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:48,168
Oh, God.
Is Pickle gonna be okay?
85
00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:50,561
Yeah, sweetie,
I'm 100% positive
86
00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:52,259
that Pickle
is gonna be fine.
87
00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:53,390
Pickle is dead.
88
00:02:53,521 --> 00:02:54,522
-[gasps]
-What?
89
00:02:54,652 --> 00:02:55,436
Who's the owner?
90
00:02:55,566 --> 00:02:58,439
-[grunts] Finally!
-Yay!
91
00:02:58,569 --> 00:03:00,354
AMY: Take that,
Big Vending Machine!
92
00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:02,530
Today,
the good guys win.
93
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,402
Girls...
94
00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:07,143
Pickle didn't make it.
95
00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:08,579
I'm so sorry.
96
00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:12,801
I don't think
they heard me.
97
00:03:15,499 --> 00:03:17,284
Pickle died!
98
00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:18,763
She's as dead as Versace.
99
00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:20,243
She left this world.
100
00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:21,723
She gone!
101
00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:23,942
Want a gummy worm?
102
00:03:24,073 --> 00:03:26,771
Douglas, they're not reacting
to the death.
103
00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:27,903
That's called "resilience,"
104
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:29,948
and your kid could use
a little of that.
105
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:31,167
You want
to step in here?
106
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,908
Okay. You got it.
107
00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:34,257
Get it together,
Rory.
108
00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:35,780
This is more embarrassing
than anything else
109
00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:37,260
that's going on
in this hospital,
110
00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:38,653
and that includes
that dog over there
111
00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:40,263
that's dressed
like Barbra Streisand.
112
00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:42,265
[panting]
113
00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:44,224
[crickets chirping]
114
00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:46,704
[knock on door]
115
00:03:46,835 --> 00:03:48,271
Hey, buddy.
116
00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:49,490
Whatcha doing?
117
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:52,275
Googling "How to make sure
no one ever dies
118
00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:55,278
+ easy steps + 2018."
119
00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:57,062
Sweetie...
120
00:03:57,193 --> 00:03:58,368
Look at me.
121
00:03:58,499 --> 00:04:02,067
I'm gonna be here for
a very, very long time, okay?
122
00:04:02,198 --> 00:04:03,678
I'm worried about Will.
123
00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:06,202
Will?
124
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:07,508
Why is Graham worrying
about you dying?
125
00:04:07,638 --> 00:04:09,292
He's known you for a month.
He shouldn't care if you die.
126
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,512
We should allcare
if anyonedies.
127
00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:12,861
Why are you suddenly
best friends with my kid?
128
00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:13,905
It's weird.
129
00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:17,387
We like all the same movies
and magazines
130
00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:18,867
and have a kind
of undeniable chemistry.
131
00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:20,608
But I don't want to
step on your toes.
132
00:04:20,738 --> 00:04:22,218
I w-- I will back off.
133
00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:24,264
Right after
the colonoscopy. What?!
134
00:04:24,394 --> 00:04:27,528
Well, Graham read
that colonoscopies help prevent death,
135
00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:29,747
and he knows that my grandfather
died from colon cancer,
136
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:31,401
so I told him
I'd get one.
137
00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:32,576
Look, I had a colonoscopy
on the books,
138
00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:33,751
and I just moved it up
139
00:04:33,882 --> 00:04:35,144
when I saw how much
it meant to Graham.
140
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,233
Your colon shouldn't mean
anything to Graham!
141
00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:39,409
He shouldn't want you to be
getting a tube up your butt.
142
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:41,455
The only butt he should
care about is mine.
143
00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:43,457
It is, okay?
You know how fickle kids are.
144
00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:45,067
He's probably
already over me.
145
00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:47,374
Hey, Will, I was just
thinking about you.
146
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:48,853
Let's try the handshake.
147
00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:50,638
Slap it, bump it,
chicken wing...
148
00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:53,380
Being best friends
is our...thing.
149
00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:54,642
Pumped up your ball
for you.
150
00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:56,383
Thanks!
You're the best!
151
00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:58,559
Oh. Hey, Mom.
152
00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:01,126
Oooh!
Day 1 realness!
153
00:05:01,257 --> 00:05:02,214
Yeah.
154
00:05:02,345 --> 00:05:03,128
And I love that tie.
155
00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:04,695
I got it
at the drugstore.
156
00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:06,306
Okay. Cool.
157
00:05:06,436 --> 00:05:08,569
Oh. Watch out, Miggy.
Here come the regulars.
158
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,310
They call themselves
the "Winebrarians."
159
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,487
Don't call them a group.
They identify as a collective.Ohh.
160
00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:16,359
Bess, Franny, Lil...
meet Miggy.
161
00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:18,579
You hired a man?
Did he make you do this?
162
00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:20,711
He better not hit on us.
163
00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:23,584
Ladies, I know the Winebrary
has a feminist mission,
164
00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:25,020
but we need male allies.
165
00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:27,109
Exactly. I love women.
166
00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:29,154
And not
just the hot ones.
167
00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:30,504
Oh, my God.
168
00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:31,896
O...kay.
Maybe don't talk to them.
169
00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:33,376
-Okay.
-Yeah.
170
00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:35,422
Hey. Guess what,
hot shot.
171
00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:37,424
I'm getting
a colonoscopy.
172
00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:38,686
My butt
beats your butt.
173
00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:40,514
I've got
the number-one butt!
174
00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:41,602
Yeah, you do!
175
00:05:41,732 --> 00:05:43,386
You're better than that,
Mr. Withers.
176
00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:44,387
[whistle blows]
177
00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:46,389
When's your colonoscopy
appointment? Next month.
178
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,871
Ha! Mine's at 4:00 p.m. today.
Suck on that.
179
00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:51,481
What is that?
180
00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:52,569
Pre-colonoscopy smoothie.
181
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,049
Tastes just like
a regular smoothie,
182
00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:56,225
except it's disgusting,
and I love it.
183
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,967
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a colonoscopy to get to.
184
00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:00,490
You know that they put you out
for the procedure
185
00:06:00,621 --> 00:06:02,579
and you need someone
to drive you home, right?
186
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:04,451
Of course I know that.
187
00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:06,409
-You want a ride?
-Yes, obviously.
188
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:10,631
Where the hell is Poppy?
I'm -- I'm off the clock.
189
00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:11,458
I got e-mails to do.
190
00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:15,287
All right, kids, scatter,
mingle, have fun.
191
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:18,465
Girls, I am truly,
truly humbled
192
00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:21,076
that you would allow me,
the murderer,
193
00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:23,774
to plan Pickle's funeral
here tonight.
194
00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:25,472
Was there
another option?
195
00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:29,171
Sophie, how we looking
on that "in memoriam" slideshow?
196
00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:30,302
Not good.
197
00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:31,434
The deadline has passed,
198
00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:33,523
and I only got two pictures
from my dad.
199
00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:35,656
And one was
a poorly aimed selfie.
200
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:40,617
[whispering] Miggy?Soph! What's good?
[chuckles]
201
00:06:40,748 --> 00:06:41,792
What's going on?
202
00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:43,533
Are you hiding?
203
00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:46,493
No! I'm just crouching
and thinking.
204
00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:47,407
Sure.
205
00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:48,364
[sighs] It turns out,
206
00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:49,757
there's a really big part
of my job
207
00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:51,062
that I forgot to learn.
208
00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:54,414
Ladies, it's wine time!
209
00:06:54,544 --> 00:07:01,072
♪♪
210
00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:02,900
You can't use
a corkscrew?
211
00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:04,119
It's super hard.
212
00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:06,600
Maybe those ladies won't notice
there's no wine
213
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:09,298
'cause their books
are so good.
214
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,343
You see I don't have any wine,
right? You guys see that?Yeah.
215
00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:13,433
Yeah, I don't think
that plan has legs.
216
00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:14,651
I agree.
217
00:07:14,782 --> 00:07:16,523
Hey, Miggy,
how's it going?Poppin' and pourin'.
218
00:07:16,653 --> 00:07:18,046
Corks don't scare me!Good.
219
00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:20,091
Sophie, I'm gonna get you that
picture of Pickle. I promise.
220
00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:21,571
Not holding my breath.
221
00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:23,573
Rory, I should have given you
a budget for this funeral.
222
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:25,314
That's on me.Come on.
223
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,185
Let's check out the veil
I ordered on Amazon.
224
00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:29,884
Spanish lace --
they claim.
225
00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:31,581
Looks like Pickle's
gonna be buried
226
00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:34,802
in Gwyneth Paltrow's
"Shakespeare in Love" Oscar dress.
227
00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:36,543
Your kid's obsessed
with death.
228
00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:38,675
Yeah, well, it's not healthy
to bottle up sad feelings.
229
00:07:38,806 --> 00:07:41,635
Oh, I've bred my girls to handle
feelings the way I do --
230
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:45,029
repress, replace,
move on.
231
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,727
We never have
emotional conversations.
232
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:47,902
Oh, that can't be true.
233
00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:49,381
What about when you talk
about their mom?
234
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:50,513
We don't talk about her.
235
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:51,862
You mean never?
236
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:53,516
That's one of my biggest
triumphs as a parent.
237
00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:56,171
That and getting them to think
that it's their job
238
00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:57,564
to make my bed.
Yeah.
239
00:07:57,694 --> 00:08:00,480
On holidays, they -- they put
a little seasonal candy
240
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,960
right on the pillow --
adds a nice touch.
241
00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:05,528
Douglas, Emma and Amy
deserve a safe space
242
00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:08,444
where they can express their
feelings and ask questions.
243
00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,228
They're little girls
whose mom died.
244
00:08:10,359 --> 00:08:12,622
Really, Poppy?
Okay, thanks for the update.
245
00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:14,406
You know what --
I think I need a safe space
246
00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,626
where I can parent my kids
the way I think fit
247
00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:18,889
without being lectured
by a woman whose son
248
00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:22,153
is treating a rodent
like it's JFK!
249
00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:24,242
[whistles]
250
00:08:24,373 --> 00:08:25,548
So you're just
running away?
251
00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:27,724
I'm gonna do what I should've
done in the first place --
252
00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:30,640
repress, replace,
move on.
253
00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:32,033
All right, girls,
get in the Benz.
254
00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:35,732
We're gonna go to the pet store
and buy you a new pig thing.
255
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,434
Okay, look alive, ladies. We're
gonna get a new guinea pig.
256
00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:45,742
Let's not stay too long, girls.
We're gonna smell like pets.
257
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:46,613
Let's motor.
258
00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:48,223
Efficiency.
259
00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:52,619
That's what you want?
Robots with braids?
260
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:54,359
They're doing better
than your kid.
261
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:56,361
[crying]
I killed your sister!
262
00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:59,887
Fine. Keep doing
what you're doing.
263
00:09:00,017 --> 00:09:01,628
Repress, replace,
move on.
264
00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:03,368
That's how you want your kids
to handle the loss of their pet.
265
00:09:03,499 --> 00:09:05,632
Yep.
And the loss of their mom.
266
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,243
You got it.
267
00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:10,419
Is that how
you dealt with it?
268
00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:18,819
I'm starting to think
you didn't deal with it at all.
269
00:09:18,949 --> 00:09:21,735
It's easier this way.
270
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,782
-Dad, we got one!
-We're gonna call her "Pickle"!
271
00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:28,785
-B-But this isn't Pickle.
-Who cares?
272
00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:31,440
It'll be like
the other Pickle never existed.
273
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,704
Yeah, Dad, like you said,
"Repress, replace, move on."
274
00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:37,402
Yeah, like you said.
275
00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:41,189
[guinea pig squeaks]
276
00:09:41,319 --> 00:09:43,452
Douglas, are you okay?
277
00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:46,803
N-N-No, I'm not.
278
00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:49,284
Okay? I'm -- I'm upset,
actually.
279
00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:50,894
And why are you upset?
280
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:53,636
I'm upset because...
281
00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:57,727
this guinea pig
is a total loser.
282
00:09:57,858 --> 00:10:00,730
It's like God was trying
to make a possum and gave up.
283
00:10:00,861 --> 00:10:01,862
We have to find
a better one.
284
00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:03,646
I was
about to go on break.
285
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:05,126
No, you're not gonna go
on break, Raj.
286
00:10:05,256 --> 00:10:08,782
Not until we find a perfect
replacement for Pickle!
287
00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:10,566
I don't care
if we have to stay all night.
288
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:12,089
We only have
seven to choose from.
289
00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:13,874
Then we'll start there.
290
00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:18,400
[straining]
It's about to be lit!
291
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:24,232
[sighs]
292
00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:26,669
You still can't use
a corkscrew, can you?[gasps]
293
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:27,627
Shhhhhh!
294
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:28,802
They'll hear you, okay?
295
00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:30,325
Look, I don't know
what to do.
296
00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:32,893
I already used up all my best
methods of distraction.
297
00:10:33,023 --> 00:10:35,896
So, I understood
the first women's march,
298
00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:37,724
but what was
the second one about?
299
00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:38,942
The organizers didn't have
the resources!
300
00:10:39,073 --> 00:10:41,031
-You don't get to ask that.
-I don't know,
301
00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,816
but the third one is coming
straight to your house.
302
00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:46,123
I'm gonna watch this "Corkscrews
for Dummies" video on YouTube
303
00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:47,647
one more time
and just pray for a miracle.
304
00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:49,474
You do that,
and I'm gonna go use
305
00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:51,563
my best method
of distraction.
306
00:10:53,827 --> 00:10:56,003
I'm thinking of being a princess
for Halloween. Thoughts?
307
00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:58,570
Do you want to live
in a box?Do you want to make change in the world?
308
00:10:58,701 --> 00:11:00,442
Do you want to live in a box?
Oh, honey, sit.
309
00:11:00,572 --> 00:11:02,662
[guinea pig squeaking]
310
00:11:02,792 --> 00:11:04,141
Is this one
even American?
311
00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:06,796
All right, do you have
any others in the back?
312
00:11:06,927 --> 00:11:08,755
No, sir, we don't keep
secret extra guinea pigs
313
00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:09,799
in the back of the store.
314
00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:12,410
Have you had a chance to
check out our leash selection?
315
00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:14,499
Oh, goodie!
A leash!
316
00:11:14,630 --> 00:11:16,501
Maybe I'll take one home
and call it "Pickle,"
317
00:11:16,632 --> 00:11:18,547
and I'll feed it
little gem lettuce.
318
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:21,898
Do any of your guinea pigs
even eat little gems?!
319
00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:24,727
Dad, we don't have to get
a new guinea pig today.
320
00:11:24,858 --> 00:11:26,381
Yeah,
we found a cool leash
321
00:11:26,511 --> 00:11:27,861
with rhinestones
to buy instead.
322
00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:30,167
But a leash
is not a guinea pig!
323
00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:31,168
-Attention!
-Douglas.
324
00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:32,604
-Attention, everybody!
-Douglas.
325
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:33,736
It's important
you know this.
326
00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:36,739
It is possible
that any one of these animals
327
00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:39,089
can die at any moment,
328
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:42,005
and this
God-forsaken rat farm
329
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:44,486
will not guarantee
a replacement!
330
00:11:44,616 --> 00:11:46,444
Yeah.
You have to --Put it --
331
00:11:46,575 --> 00:11:48,795
I know
what I'm doing.
332
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:49,709
Just got to --
333
00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:50,710
I'm taking the leash!Okay.
334
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:54,496
And I hope it comes out
of your paycheck, Raj!
335
00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:58,979
"Procedure may cause tear
in rectum wall"?
336
00:11:59,109 --> 00:12:02,852
"Photos may be used
for teaching purposes"?!
337
00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:04,375
[tapping]
338
00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:06,813
Just checking in.
339
00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:07,857
Also, there's a guy
in the waiting room
340
00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:09,337
who keeps telling me and Graham
about his GERD.
341
00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:10,425
Oh, yeah?
342
00:12:10,555 --> 00:12:12,775
Well, I'm just reading
about colonoscopy risks,
343
00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:14,211
and one is death.
344
00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:16,736
So, yeah, thanks a lot.What?
345
00:12:16,866 --> 00:12:20,043
I didn't force you to get
an emergency midday colonoscopy.
346
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:21,262
You basically did.
347
00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:24,352
I am defending my honor
as Graham's mother.
348
00:12:24,482 --> 00:12:25,614
All right, that's it.
349
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,094
I'll accept the blame
for a lot of things --
350
00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:28,182
Sophie's flat feet,
351
00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:30,053
the lack of coverage
of Hurricane Nate...
352
00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:31,794
It was a category-one.
We had bigger fish to fry.
353
00:12:31,925 --> 00:12:32,882
Okay, I don't understand.
354
00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:34,101
Are you a weatherman?
355
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:35,580
How many times
do I have to say it?
356
00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:36,843
It's very simple.
357
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:37,887
I'm a stay-at-home
weather researcher.
358
00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:39,933
Oh!But I will not accept
the blame
359
00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:42,109
for you sitting here
in a very see-through robe --
360
00:12:42,239 --> 00:12:43,023
I apologize --
361
00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:44,807
waiting to get
a colonoscopy!
362
00:12:44,938 --> 00:12:46,461
Is it weird that I was gonna
get one for Graham?
363
00:12:46,591 --> 00:12:47,679
[scoffs]
364
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:48,811
Yes.
365
00:12:48,942 --> 00:12:51,031
But isn't it weirder that you
were threatened by that?
366
00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:52,815
Of course
I was threatened!
367
00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:55,600
It feels like you're trying
to be a father figure to my son,
368
00:12:55,731 --> 00:12:58,038
and I-I'm the only person
he needs.
369
00:12:58,168 --> 00:13:00,780
I'm his father
and his mother.
370
00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:01,693
Last Father's Day,
371
00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:03,913
I took myself out
to a dope-ass brunch
372
00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:06,698
and bought military fiction
in hardcopy!
373
00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:09,745
[sighs]
374
00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:10,964
I --
375
00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:13,401
I want to be
enough for him.
376
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:15,838
You are.
377
00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:19,494
You're doing a great job
as the dad.
378
00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:21,583
[scoffs]
Honestly.
379
00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:24,194
You give off angry-dad vibes
all the time.
380
00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:25,848
Like, I'm looking
at your face right now,
381
00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:28,895
and I'm like,
"That dad is pissed."
382
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,813
Sorry
I overreacted today.
383
00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:35,815
No, you didn't overreact.
384
00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:40,036
I've just
never seen Graham
385
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:42,212
legitimately bond
with a man before.
386
00:13:42,343 --> 00:13:44,214
It's freaking me out.
387
00:13:44,345 --> 00:13:47,348
He's never met
his father.
388
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:50,220
Yeah.
389
00:13:51,787 --> 00:13:54,921
Angie, you have to know that
you're Graham's whole world.
390
00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:57,880
The undeniable chemistry
that he and I have
391
00:13:58,011 --> 00:13:59,055
is no match for the love
he has for you. [sighs]
392
00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:01,753
Can you please stop calling it
"undeniable chemistry"?
393
00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:03,843
I have to call it
what it is.
394
00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:07,542
I don't need
a colonoscopy.
395
00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:10,066
This was a crazy move.
396
00:14:10,197 --> 00:14:11,676
Yeah.
I feel better.
397
00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:12,939
Weirdly calm.
398
00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:15,115
Well, the sedative
should've fully kicked in.
399
00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:16,681
It's showtime!Oh, my God,
400
00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:18,118
I'm getting a colonoscopy!
401
00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:19,554
You totally are!
It's oddly inspiring!
402
00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:21,382
You're a great dad, Angie!
403
00:14:25,212 --> 00:14:28,476
Okay, this year for Halloween,
I will be Pingyang,
404
00:14:28,606 --> 00:14:31,827
Chinese warrior princess
born in 598 A.D.
405
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:34,221
And you let me know
if you need to borrow my sword.
406
00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:36,832
I think our work here is done.
To Pingyang.
407
00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:37,877
-Yes!
-To Pingyang.
408
00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:39,095
-No.
-All right, where's our wine.
409
00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:41,750
-He never filled our glass!
-I want wine!
410
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:45,014
-Miggy, did the video work?
-No. Look.
411
00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:46,581
-You're bleeding!
-What's going on?
412
00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:48,800
Are you waiting for a man
to come buy us drinks?
413
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:51,542
Are you ignoring us because you
don't see us as sexual beings?
414
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:52,935
No, you're very sexual.
415
00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:54,589
How can I see you
as anything but?
416
00:14:54,719 --> 00:14:55,982
Well, what are you
waiting on, then? What's going on?
417
00:14:56,112 --> 00:14:57,026
Do I need to jump over this
counter and get my own wine?
418
00:14:57,157 --> 00:14:58,985
Please don't hurt me!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
419
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:01,683
He can't use
a corkscrew, okay?!
420
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:05,643
Oh, my goodness.
421
00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:09,169
Making a child defend you?
Please! No one is that stupid.
422
00:15:09,299 --> 00:15:11,519
I am!
I am that stupid.
423
00:15:11,649 --> 00:15:12,999
There's $1,000
of broken wine bottles
424
00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:14,739
in the trash to prove it.
-Oh!
425
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:18,091
And it sucks 'cause I really
want to crush this job.
426
00:15:18,221 --> 00:15:20,136
Poppy's the best person
in the world.
427
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:23,009
And that includes this dude
Dwayne you guys don't know.
428
00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:25,663
And for some reason,
she believes in me,
429
00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:28,014
and I want to give her
a reason to believe.
430
00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:29,885
But I can't.
431
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:33,367
So, it's -- it's time for me
to hang up my wine tie.
432
00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:35,064
-Oh!
-I don't deserve this job.
433
00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:36,370
Okay.
It's a clip-on.
434
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,981
-What happened to that boy?
-We have to help him, don't we?
435
00:15:39,112 --> 00:15:41,984
-Yeah, we do.
-Ugh.
436
00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:43,551
-It's screw time.
-Screw time.
437
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,379
Ugh!Come on, twist!
Come on. Come on.
438
00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:46,728
Don't be afraid
to make a little noise.
439
00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:47,990
-Get your legs involved!
-No, clockwise! Clockwise!
440
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:49,687
[overlapping shouting]Okay.
441
00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:52,995
[straining][shouting]
442
00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:54,083
I...almost got it!
443
00:15:54,214 --> 00:15:55,171
[pop][all cheering]
444
00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:56,868
-Yes!
-Yes!
445
00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:58,479
Ohh!Oh, wow.
446
00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:00,176
-Thank you. I did it!
-Really, really good.
447
00:16:00,307 --> 00:16:01,134
Hey!
448
00:16:02,178 --> 00:16:04,093
What's everyone
cheering about?
449
00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:09,011
We're cheering
because Miggy...
450
00:16:09,142 --> 00:16:10,970
is so great.
451
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,449
FRANNY: First straight man
I've ever respected.
452
00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:14,843
[chuckles]
Also, whose kid is this?
453
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:15,844
Miggy!
454
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,715
[cheering]
455
00:16:17,846 --> 00:16:19,979
He's one
of the good ones.
456
00:16:21,197 --> 00:16:26,898
[organ plays
Pachelbel's "Canon in D"]
457
00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:28,074
Hello. Welcome.
458
00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:31,077
Please remember
that this is not a funeral.
459
00:16:31,207 --> 00:16:32,078
It's a celebration
of life.
460
00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,514
-Daddy!
-Sophie!
461
00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:35,255
I can't wait
to see the slideshow!
462
00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:37,735
You can wait. Trust me.Mm...
463
00:16:37,866 --> 00:16:41,087
Ohh. Can I get a womp-womp?!Alright.
464
00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:43,002
Whose birthday party
is this, anyway?
465
00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:44,829
What's wrong
with your mom?
466
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:48,355
She got a colonoscopy today
for pretty much no reason.
467
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:52,141
To the brim.
468
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:54,100
I got you.
469
00:16:56,276 --> 00:16:58,930
[imitates whooshing]
470
00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:00,280
Sorry.
471
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:05,937
We should...talk about
what happened at the pet store.
472
00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:07,113
I'm worried.
473
00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:08,114
Oh. Me too.
474
00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:11,943
Raj is so bad
at his job.
475
00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:19,255
Okay, I had a breakdown
at a pet store on Cahuenga.
476
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:21,301
[sighs]
Maybe you're right.
477
00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:23,955
I-I -- I haven't dealt
with Rose's death.
478
00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:25,392
It was all a blur.
479
00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:29,091
You know, she died,
and I had 10-month-old twins.
480
00:17:29,222 --> 00:17:30,527
They were teething.
481
00:17:30,658 --> 00:17:32,964
It was scarier
than the draft.
482
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:34,531
I didn't have time
to grieve.
483
00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:38,187
I-I was doing
the best I could.
484
00:17:38,318 --> 00:17:39,319
They were so little.
485
00:17:39,449 --> 00:17:42,757
Douglas, what you did
was amazing.
486
00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:44,237
But they're not
little anymore.
487
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:45,107
They're --
488
00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:48,328
They're looking to you
for guidance.
489
00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:56,162
♪ Ave
490
00:17:56,292 --> 00:18:02,168
♪ Maria
491
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:03,865
[whispering]
It's all I had.
492
00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:09,349
Thank you all for coming.
493
00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:11,264
If you are moved
to speak about Pickle,
494
00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:12,961
please do so.
495
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,963
I want
to say something.
496
00:18:16,443 --> 00:18:17,705
Life is crazy.
497
00:18:17,835 --> 00:18:19,576
I just got a colonoscopy!
498
00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:21,752
And the results are in.
499
00:18:21,883 --> 00:18:23,580
I got an A-plus butt.
500
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:24,712
Yep.
501
00:18:24,842 --> 00:18:26,366
Will's got a butt, too!
502
00:18:26,496 --> 00:18:28,237
Ah.I'm down with that.
503
00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:31,849
I guess a lot of us have butts,
when you really think about it.
504
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:33,895
We're not that different,
after all.
505
00:18:34,025 --> 00:18:37,246
R.I.P. Pickle,
you were one hell of a cat.
506
00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:38,987
That's all.Thank you, Angie.
507
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,119
Now I'll share.
508
00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:41,816
Pickle was funny, kind,
509
00:18:41,946 --> 00:18:44,297
and, my God, could she nap.
-[crying]
510
00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:47,561
RORY:
The pet store says the price of a guinea pig is $25,
511
00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:50,041
but you can't put a price
on Pickle.
512
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:53,958
I don't know what it all means,
but I do know one thing --[sniffles]
513
00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:58,267
Heaven just got a little furrier
and a lot cuter.[crying]
514
00:18:58,398 --> 00:18:59,964
Good night, sweet princess.
515
00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:01,575
[smooches]
516
00:19:02,793 --> 00:19:05,405
Now, I would like to invite
Pickle's two moms,
517
00:19:05,535 --> 00:19:08,234
Emma and Amy,
up to the podium.
518
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,110
[whispering]
Girls.
519
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:17,591
Look, it turns out,
you can't replace a pet.
520
00:19:17,721 --> 00:19:19,375
Or people.
521
00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:21,290
And it's important
to remember her,
522
00:19:21,421 --> 00:19:23,510
and it's okay
to feel something.
523
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,164
Okay?
524
00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:28,602
So, if you feel like
you want to speak,
525
00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:29,994
then you should speak.
526
00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:32,388
[whispering]
527
00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:38,307
All right.
528
00:19:38,438 --> 00:19:40,962
[applause]
529
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,272
Pickle was a guinea pig.
530
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:47,316
She was brown and white.
531
00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:49,753
She liked cardboard.
532
00:19:49,884 --> 00:19:51,755
Once, she sneezed,
and it sounded stupid.
533
00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:53,279
She would eat
like this.
534
00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:57,370
They're really opening up.
535
00:19:58,414 --> 00:20:01,200
Also, Rory,
we forgive you.
536
00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:02,462
Ohh! Thank you!
537
00:20:02,592 --> 00:20:05,465
I think Pickle would want me
to dance again.
538
00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:07,206
Miggy! Drop the beat!
539
00:20:08,076 --> 00:20:09,077
♪ Bam! Yeah! Yeah
540
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,427
-Okay, Rory!
-Okay, okay.
541
00:20:11,558 --> 00:20:12,472
I see you!
I see you!
542
00:20:12,602 --> 00:20:14,561
♪ Yeah
♪ Lil Jon...
543
00:20:14,691 --> 00:20:17,128
♪♪
544
00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:18,782
Ugh.
545
00:20:18,913 --> 00:20:20,001
Stop.
546
00:20:23,874 --> 00:20:26,268
I want you to know
more about your mom.
547
00:20:26,399 --> 00:20:28,705
Which means I need to start
talking about her.
548
00:20:28,836 --> 00:20:31,665
So...here we go.
549
00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:33,362
I'll tell you everything,
550
00:20:33,493 --> 00:20:37,801
beginning with
the first place we met.
551
00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:39,238
It was right here.
552
00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:41,588
It was love
at first sight.
553
00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:46,854
-Hot Twists!
-That's so cool.
554
00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:48,508
Did she make pretzels?
555
00:20:48,638 --> 00:20:50,466
Not exactly.
556
00:20:50,597 --> 00:20:53,121
Was she a professional
Twister player?
557
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,601
In a way.
558
00:20:54,731 --> 00:20:58,039
I bet that's why
we're so good at Twister!
559
00:20:58,169 --> 00:21:00,302
Tell us more about her.
560
00:21:00,433 --> 00:21:02,348
Yeah, take it away,
big guy.
561
00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:07,266
Well, as you know,
her real name was Rose...
562
00:21:07,396 --> 00:21:11,182
but her stage name was Rosé.
563
00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:13,489
♪♪
564
00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:21,105
--Captions by VITAC--
565
00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:25,705
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