All language subtitles for Silicon Valley s02e08 White Hat vs. Black Hat.eng

- Richard: That was awesome.
- Erlich: We just fed our hogs

to those EndFrame motherfuckers.

I don't know. (chuckles)

Gilfoyle: Oh, shit.

Richard.

I just got a call from
Marc at EndFrame.

Yeah. Uh...

Sorry that that deal
didn't go through, Russ,

but this bake-off
can be huge for us.

And we should
actually get started.

- We have a lot of work to do.
- Yeah.

We have a lot of
work to do, Richard.

A lot.

We have to drink this entire
bottle of tequila today.

- What?
- Bake-off, bitch.

Let's get fucked up.
Shots, baby.

- Uh... I don't... I don't...
- Richard,

this is my own brand.

Tres Comas.

Do you know what that
means in Spanish?

- Three comm...
- Nope.

Three commas.

As in, the number I'll have

when we are done kicking
the tar out of EndFrame

and I make that fuck
pile of Intersite money.

Am I right? Come on, shots.

So you're not mad?

No, of course not.

Okay. Yeah, sure. I'll
just do one shot.

We are going to drink
to re-billionizing.

Okay.

To re-billionizing.

- To re-billionizing.
- That's it.

(gags)

(burping, coughing)

One more?

Uh...

Russ... (clearing throat)

we need to pay our lawyers...

and we need to pay
our engineers.

So, before you go, can you just
write us another check please?

What? No, Richard, giving
you money right now

is the worst thing I
could do for you.

What? Why? How?

Look what just happened.

I threatened to walk and you
turned lean and hungry,

and you clawed your way
into a $15-million deal.

And when you win this bake-off,

because I gave you no money,

and I get my...
third comma back...

I promise you this, Richard.

I'm gonna come back here and
you and I are gonna polish off

this entire motherfucking
bottle of Tres Comas together.

Put it right up high.

Come on! Don't leave me hanging.

That's it! That's
how we do business.

(theme music plays)

*********************

The Nucleus ad buy will be
the largest in our history.

Awareness of this product
will be unprecedented.

Yeah. Am I the only one
concerned about over-exposure?

Well, we haven't seen
the platform yet,

but we're planning
on slipping Nucleus

to influential tech
journalists and bloggers.

Because, certainly,
once they see Nucleus...

Sorry, sorry. That strategy
just sounds so inside the box.

Might it not be more innovative

to shroud Nucleus in mystery

until the official
roll out next January?

Gavin, I'm sorry.

Is everything okay with Nucleus?

We are on schedule, yes?

Because based on
your assurances,

we've staked substantial
resources on its performance.

(sighs)

Gentlemen of the
board, and Rachel,

listen to me very carefully.

Nucleus is on track.

And you have my word
that if it fails to be

everything we need it to be,

someone will be
held responsible.

Me?

You want me to come
back to Hooli?

No way. It's too late.

I've accepted MIT's
offer of tenure.

My wife, my children,
and my mother

are already back in Boston.

I'm here because I
believe in you.

And because I believe we didn't
believe in you enough before.

Yeah, you did not.

XYZ was beneath your talent.

Surely you felt it. I did.

Why else would I lay
it off on Bighetti?

XYZ is about the distant future.

But we can't wait for you.
We need you now,

guiding critical components
of our core business.

Components like Nucleus.

I'm sorry... are you offering to
put me in full charge of Nucleus?

Indeed I am. You and only you.

You'll get the credit
and the glory.

The name Davis
Bannerchek will be

inextricably linked
with that of Nucleus.

I mean, there's a
chance no one will know

I had anything to
do with it at all.

Gentlemen, nothing else
in the truck. Stop.

Who is done with
transcode work flow? Me.

Good job, Carla.

Or should I say, "scrumptious"?

Because of the board,
the scrum board.

- Oh, I get it.
- Yeah.

Or just... I mean, not you.

I mean, you could... You are.

Uh... Also, thanks to everybody

for forgoing your
salary this week.

Remember, if we win...

bonuses all around, so...

Go team.

When we win.

(scoffs)

That is rousing, Richard.

Yeah, so, when we win it.

(computer chimes)

Whoa! Have you guys seen this?

Seth, the network security
guy from EndFrame,

just changed his LinkedIn
status to "unemployed."

No way.

You think we got him fired?

I bet we did.

That's awesome.

Well, we never actually
breached his security.

Remember we got
Marc's login info

and went through the front door?
So,

he didn't actually
do anything wrong.

He worked for EndFrame,

the pieces of shit that
stole our algorithm.

Yeah. So by the
transitive property,

he is, therefore,
also a piece of shit.

Well, the pieces
of shit fired him.

So his "piece of shit"
status is reversed.

Okay, fine. So the transitive
property may no longer apply,

but the reflexive property states
everything's equal to itself.

So, since he's a piece of
shit, he's a piece of shit.

Okay, math aside,

the point I'm trying
to make here is

we didn't actually break his code.
Okay?

So he's getting fired
for no reason.

And I kinda feel
bad for the guy.

He's probably pulling
his hair out somewhere,

wondering where he screwed up.

But he didn't screw up,

and he'll never know that
for the rest of his life.

I bet you're right.

He probably is just ripping
his hair out somewhere.

I wish I could see that.

Piece of shit.

He's a piece of shit.

Erlich: Monica?

Did you forget
Jian-Yang eyes pitch?

No, I was on my phone.

You talking to Benson or Hedges?

(chuckles) Am I right?
Cigarette company.

Clever.

What if I told you there
is an app on the market...

Not now. No, you wait until
you're inside. Okay?

We haven't even gotten
the bottle of water yet.

Head in. I'll meet you in there.
I just...

need to finish this call.

Sure. Cool with a "K."

Okay.

Water.

What if I told you
there is an app...

Jian-Yang, this
is the assistant.

We wait for the boss to pitch.

The woman you saw outside. Okay?

The lady who was smoking?
You said no.

Sorry, sorry...
Monica was smoking?

- Cigarettes?
- Cigarettes.

No, no, no. He's confused.

He's Chinese.

He's talking about this
crack-addict prostitute

we saw at the gas station.
She was smoking cigarettes.

So sad.

Oh.

Jian-Yang, what're you doing?
This is Palo Alto.

People are lunatics
about smoking here.

We don't enjoy all the freedoms
that you have in China.

All right? Where people
smoke all the time.

I don't smoke.

Except for special occasions.

So you do smoke?

Wait, have you been
smoking in my house?

No. There's no special occasion
ever happen in your house.

See this little bald
spot on my temple?

I've literally been
tearing my own hair out.

I e-mailed Gilfoyle
about a dozen times,

and all he kept sending
me were these photos.

Some woman choking. Balls.

Choking... A pair of balls.
I... I get it.

"Choke on my balls."
It's like a rebus.

He's such a dick.

How the fuck did he
get into my system?

At least give me a hint.

Something. Anything.

Fuck.

What if, hypothetically... uh...

there was a certain
CEO in your office,

that left his login
information on a Post-it,

and a certain someone

took it, and used
that to get in?

Are you saying Gilfoyle never
penetrated my network?

I'm saying...

you weren't fired because of

anything to do with
your security config.

It wasn't my fault?

Oh, my God. You know what?

I'm glad I came here.

I think it's good just to get
everything out in the open.

That piece of shit!

Gilfoyle kept taunting
me and taunting me.

- What're you doing? No...
- Hello, Gilfoyle?

Don't call him.

- It's Seth.
- Don't mention me or...

Richard just told me about the Post-it.
So, fuck you!

You just fucked with
the wrong hacker.

There's... there's kids.

I'm gonna skullfuck
your whole system.

Fuck you, Gilfoyle!

Fuck you, Richard!

Fuck all of you
Pied Piper fucks!

I actually, don't...
I don't know him.

I'm just here by myself.

Just watching and waiting.

I love kids. Not like that.

So...

Why would do that? Why
would you go talk to him?

I don't know, you know.

Face-to-face meetings
make things better.

I just felt bad for the guy,
and he was not doing well.

I mean, what if I hadn't said anything and
he'd have, you know... killed himself?

Yeah, well, there's no chance
of that now, is there?

Richard, you don't seem to
understand what's going on.

We hacked into EndFrame's
system and stole their specs.

You can't go traipsing around
to their former employees,

telling them how we did it
just to make them feel better.

You're a fucking black hat now.
Act like it.

What? I'm a black hat?
How am I a black hat?

EndFrame stole from us first.

And since the negative of
a negative is a positive,

stealing from a thief is okay.

It's the additive
inverse property.

Math aside, Richard, we're
all black hats now.

The point is, what are
we gonna do about Seth?

How do you mean?

Well, I mean, we
have an unemployed

and very pissed off systems guy,

who very publicly threatened
to skullfuck our whole system.

He's not gonna do shit.

He's a coder.

By definition,
we're all pussies.

Look, he'll vent for
half an hour...

and then he'll go
LARPing and mogging

and stroke his dick for a while.

Even if he does try
to crack us, Richard,

I built our network
security myself.

I'm not worried about it at all.

So, just...

This doesn't concern you guys?

Okay, because he
said, and I quote...

that he was going
to skullfuck us!

Oh, hey. Hi.

- You have a great daughter.
- Come on, Ashley, let's go.

(phone rings)

Go for Erlich.

Thanks for outing me.

You're gay.

That explains so much.

No, outing me for smoking.

I was heading home

when my insane boss called
me into the conference room

for some kind of
anti-smoking intervention.

"No one ever died from
secondhand heroin."

Yeah, she said that.

- What did you say?
- I said nothing.

Jian-Yang may have...

let a little something
slip to your boy Friday,

but don't worry, I
covered with aplomb.

That little weasel tells
Laurie everything.

On that topic, what did
you think of his app?

The fundamental idea is sound.

An app that helps parents find
the least crowded playgrounds.

Good. So you understood him.

The problem is, he's basically
created the perfect tool

for pedophiles to find victims.

Yes, and pedophiles are
typically not early-adopters,

so we would miss out
on that whole market.

That's problematic.

Well, we'll tweak it when
we present it to your boss.

I don't think what I saw was
close to ready for Laurie.

Oh, really, Monica? I'm
sorry that your boss

unearthed your filthy
little secret,

but believe it or not I actually
tried to have your back,

and I was hoping you might
do the same for me.

Then again, your
judgment is suspect.

You are a smoker.

I smoke a few cigarettes a week.

(coughing)

Fine. I'll ask Laurie for
five minutes, but that's it.

And tell Jian-Yang he
better bring it.

Monica, we may never know

what indecipherable Chinese
province Jian-Yang comes from,

but I know this much,

Jian-Yang was born to bring it,
and you have got to try women.

I mean, just give it a chan...

I'm sure the work that you have
done so far has been very good.

But now that I am here,
the real work begins,

and time is of the essence.

I'm gonna need status reports
from every department.

Where are we?

We have a mobile beta
on a HooliPhone.

You wanna see it?

Mmm? Yeah.

He quit?

What do you mean he quit?

According to security, he
entered the building at 9:13.

He met with the Nucleus
team for 11 minutes.

Then he used his key card
to exit the building.

Three minutes later,
he was clocked at 73

in a 25 zone going past
our daycare center.

He never returned,

and he hasn't responded
to our calls or e-mail.

Gavin, is it possible that
this is a good thing?

Bannerchek was gonna step
in at the last minute

and take a lot of the
credit for Nucleus.

Now the world will know that
you're responsible for Nucleus.

You and you alone.

(sighs)

Not now!

Okay, so no attempts to
externally access the system?

Right? No SQLi, XSS,
worms, Trojans, nothing?

Same answer as I gave you
the last three days. No.

Seth hasn't done shit.
We're all good.

Richard, your paranoia has
become officially tedious.

Okay, okay. Our platform
is basically built.

Tomorrow, Intersite is
gonna start dumping

100 terabytes of video

directly onto our
server via fucking FTP.

We are gonna be the most
vulnerable we've ever been.

And Seth is out there lurking.
Just lurking in the darknet

ready to pounce

like an Internet panther.
And we don't care.

Okay, well, frankly, your lack
of paranoia is insane to me.

Now you're paranoid that
we're not paranoid enough?

You're para-paranoid, Richard.

Where are you going?

To the kitchen.

Why are you going together?
Are you gonna talk about me?

What're you looking at?

You guys have got a
lot of work to do.

I'm glad you reached out.

And I want you to know

I'm not gonna do any of those
things that I threatened to do.

Really? Just to be clear, no
skullfucking of any kind?

No. I guess I just
needed to vent.

Actually, I was pretty worried

that your were gonna
do something crazy.

You can relax.

And please tell Gilfoyle
I'm sorry for what I said,

and that he can relax, too.

Oh, you don't have to
worry about Gilfoyle.

He couldn't have cared less.

Really?

Yeah. You know, I gotta...
I gotta be honest.

I mean, I'm really
glad I came back here.

I mean, Dinesh and Gilfoyle
obviously said it was a bad idea,

especially given what happened.

But this just really restores my faith that
face-to-face meetings are the way to...

That smug cocksucker didn't
think I had the skills

to break into his system,
that motherfucker.

What? What are you...
Don't... Who are you calling?

Hello, Gilfoyle.
It's Seth again.

Hey, don't mention that I...
Richard here just told me

you're not afraid of me.

Well, you know what I'm gonna
do to you now, motherfucker?

Get out our here. Scatter.
Scatter.

I'm skullfucking the shit out
of your system this time.

How you like me now, you cocksucking,
motherfucking piece of shit?

In our initial build

we realized that the same
geo-tagging technology

that could be used to locate
uncrowded playgrounds

could also be used
to prey on children,

our greatest natural resource,

by one of society's
worst elements...

Pedophiles.

The pedophile facing
nature of the app

would present marketing
pain points. Yes.

But under Monica's guidance,

we realized the same
technology could also be used

to create a real-time,
crowd-sourced map

of an even worse segment
of the population.

Worse than pedophiles?

Smokers.

Because, let's face it,

no one's ever died of
secondhand heroin.

True. True.

With our app, users can locate

and thus avoid these
self-indulgent,

self-destructive,
negligent monsters.

Negligent? Yeah.

We call it "Smokation."

It's a clever hybrid of
"smoker" and "location."

It's interesting.

It's interesting.

Well done. Well done.

So what kind of term sheet do you
think she's gonna lay on us?

There's a lot of work to do,

but you certainly knew how
to play to your audience.

So I'd say it looks good.

Oh, today is a great day.

What is he doing?

Special occasion.

Oh, shit.

You brought cigarettes in here?

No, I take from her purse.

Richard: Well, this is it.

Our pants are basically
around our ankles

until this transfer is done.

Anything?

Again, no. Nothing.

Well, did you sweep for...

Unauthorized kernel
modules, yes.

I even purged the entire
server hypervisor again.

I know we are vulnerable, right now,
but, Richard, we're covered, okay?

We severed the prod and dev net.

Look, you made us put our phones
in a fucking Faraday cage.

We even killed the Wi-Fi
and reverted back

to this stone age hard
line Ethernet switch.

Look at all this shit.
Are we in the '90s?

Richard, no one is
cracking our transfer.

Not Seth, not some
rogue nuclear state,

not Sk3wl of fucking R00t.

No one.

And in two hours
and 47 minutes...

when we've pulled all
of Intersite's data

onto our servers, we're golden.

So just chill the fuck out.

Do another Weissman test to
make yourself feel better.

I just did.

Still at 5.1?

Actually, 5.2.

Holy shit, dude. That's blazing.

Wait, so we're actually
gonna win this thing.

I don't know. Ask me again
in two hours and 46 minutes.

Russ: Hey, quit all the
fucking and let me in.

- Hey, come on, why's the door locked?
- Coming.

- Are you afraid you're gonna get raped?
- Jared, don't...

What? You're locking
the door now?

You don't answer my texts.
What the fuck?

Russ, we're at a pretty critical
juncture right now, so...

What's that?

That is pornography,
thousands of hours of it.

Yeah, it is.

Russ, tomorrow, I would be happy
to walk this through with you.

Okay. I'm out of here. Just
answer me this, are we good?

Yes. The platform
is running great.

But it's just really fragile right
now and we have a lot to focus on.

So, again, probably
tomorrow would be...

Fine, fine. After
we have tequila.

Uh...

- What?
- Shots, boys.

- I'm in.
- No, no one's in.

What are... We're not doing
shots right now, Russ.

Richard, come on, quit being such a pussy,
and have some tequila with your money guy.

You're not our money guy.

- I'm not your money guy.
- Since when?

Since you stopped giving
us money, asshole.

Who's an asshole? I
forced you to get lean.

No. You forced us to hack
EndFrame and break the law.

And now, like it or not,
I'm a fucking black hat.

But that's okay. That's okay.
That's cool.

We're gonna win this bake-off

and pay you enough money
to go away forever.

So take your shitty tequila

and your shitty jeans with
fucking metal chunks on them,

and get the fuck out of here.

Wow, that's... That's harsh.

First of all, this is not shitty tequila.
This is very good tequila.

400-year-old
family-run distillery.

Super high-end shit.

But I guess what really bums me out
is I thought we got each other.

You know, you were
my guys, you know?

That guy.

Bin Laden.

He fucks.

You know what's hard about
being a billionaire, Richard?

You never know if someone likes
you for you or for your money.

And I guess, with you

it was all about the
money, wasn't it, Richard?

Don't you worry, I'll leave, and
I'll even leave you the tequila

because that's who I am.
But before I go,

I want you to come outside and
see something. It's a gift.

Come on outside, everybody.
Just, I won't waste your time.

Just for a second.

No way.

A McLaren 650S Spider.

Yup, just like the one I had to
sell when I dropped below a "B."

Billion.

What do you think, Richard?
You like it?

Wow. I...

I don't know what to say.

You got this for me?

What?

No, I... It's for me. I
bought this for myself...

to celebrate you guys helping
me get back to a billion.

That's why I came here, to show it to you.
To say thank you.

I'm not an asshole.

You drove here with a bow on it?

No, I put it on after I parked.

I don't understand.

You got yourself a gift to prove
that you're not an asshole?

- Right.
- (phone ringing)

Um, sorry.

Hello.

This is Eshwar Singh,
the CTO of Intersite.

What the fuck are you doing?
You're deleting all my data.

What the hell? What the hell?

- Fuck, I'm locked out of the system.
- So am I.

- We all are.
- It's just deleting everything.

You motherfuckers!

It's fucking Seth. Gilfoyle,
you said you had this.

I thought I did. I don't...
This is fucking impossible!

Eshwar: You guys are killing me.

I'm losing hundreds
of hours of content.

Yeah, well, we got hacked. So, pull
the plug. Shut it down on your end.

I can't. The disc is spinning at
100% and I don't have access.

Now it's basically a fucking fork bomb,
and you locked me out of my own system.

Okay, uh, Carla, shut it down.

None of the system
shortcuts are responding.

Can't even SIGKILL the transfer.

It's like all of our
keyboards are locked.

Okay, fucking... Eshwar, I can't
really problem solve this

and talk to you on the phone
at the same time, so...

Don't you dare
fucking hang up on...

How the fuck did Seth do this?

Well, you said he was harmless.

Obviously I was wrong. He
must be inside as root.

It's like he's right here in
this house melting us down.

Can you guys just shut the fuck up?
I'm trying to sleep.

Why the fuck would you smoke

immediately after an
anti-smoking pitch?

- Why would you do that? Why?
- It's a special occasion.

Go to your room! Fuck!

Seth is single-handedly fucking
the future of this company

and there's nothing
we can do about it!

Make it stop. Make it stop.
Make it stop!

It just stopped deleting.

Hey, guys.

I think it's this.

- What the fuck?
- It's happening again.

- No, no, no! Don't do that!
- Take it off! Take it off!

(laughs)

The Tres Comas bottle
was on the delete key.

It was...

The corner of it.

It was just... It
just got on there.

That's not great...

But, good now. Here you go.

I'm gonna...

I gotta go.

Did we delete over 9,000 hours
of your premium content?

Yes, we did.

And that is bad, certainly.

But the way we did it...

See, our compression is
so incredibly powerful

that we were able to
delete all those files

at a rate that until
now was unthinkable...

if we're considering
just raw speed.

Uh...

So, uh, just bear in mind,

you know, when making
your final decision,

had EndFrame, uh, accidentally

put a tequila bottle
on their delete key,

I guarantee, they
would have struggled

to delete half the amount
of files that we did.

At best.

Or worst.

I could also...

I could... uh... I...

Worst.

- Definitely.
- Yeah.

Um...

But you know what?

Um, I...

I, uh, I'm actually glad
that we came here today,

all of us, because this is good.

Because now more than
ever, in these times...

meeting face-to-face...

Get out.

All of... All of us or just...

Now. All of you.

Okay.

Thank you for your time.

I would be remiss if I
didn't mention that

your sites are some of
my primary destinations.

- Out.
- Okay.

*************************

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