All language subtitles for Significant Mother s01e09 Not About Bob.eng

Previously
on "Significant Mother"...

My mom told me
she was selling our house.

- I'm selling the house.
- You're doing what?

And Jimmy told me he was
moving in with my mom.

- I'm moving in with your mom.
- You're doing what?

But then she told me something
I didn't expect.

We're not moving in together
anymore.

As a matter of fact, we're not
doing anything together anymore.

Jimmy broke up with me.

What?

[guitar music]

Jimmy?

Jimmy, what happened with...
Oh!

Why are you wearing
my underwear?

I threw all mine
in the river,

along with my
other clothes.

They all smelled like
your mom.

Okay,
what happened, bud?

I just told you... I threw
all my clothes in the river.

- Jimmy, I know that.
- Then why'd you ask?

Look, buddy, I'm really
torn up right now.

I haven't got the energy
to answer questions

you already know
the answer to.

I meant...

What happened with my mom?

Oh.

She broke up
with me.

What are you
talking about?

She said you
broke up with her.

Really?

I'm not so sure.
It's all kind of hazy.

One minute, I'm looking
at condos with your mom.

The next,
I'm lying here alone,

wondering why you still
label your underwear.

Because you steal them.

I've never stolen
your underwear.

Said the guy
wearing my underwear.

This is
an extraordinary situation.

- All mine were ruined.
- By you!

I... Okay, Jimmy, just tell me
the whole story

from the very beginning.

Oh, okay, well,
your mom came over

to the house boat
with baby pictures...

Not the beginning!

The beginning
of your breakup.

Right. I was wondering why
you wanted me to go so far back.

Did you just lump in
getting engaged

with ending up homeless
and dying?

Getting engaged,
ending up homeless, and dying

are all the same scary.

Then why did you say you
wanted to move in with me?

I'm sorry. I didn't realize
it was such a huge step.

It doesn't have to be
a huge step.

It can be a step
to a step.

Yeah, but where does
the staircase end?

You know, buying a place
leads to painting the walls,

and before you know it,
you've painted yourself

into a periwinkle corner.

Jimmy, don't be crazy.

I would never paint
the walls periwinkle.

We can paint the walls
whatever color you like.

- What color do you like?
- I don't know.

Major life decisions
are not my thing.

Jimmy, eventually,
we're gonna have to...

make some choices
about our future together.

Why? Why do we
have to do that?

Because if we can't make
choices about our future,

then how can we have one?

I don't know.
Maybe we can't.

I broke up with her,
didn't I?

Sounds like it,
yeah.

Spoiled veg.
[chuckles] I'm kidding.

They're fresh, Nathaniel.
They're always fresh.

- How's our Jimmothy doing?
- Not good.

He's gone from not wanting to
make decisions about his future

to not wanting to make
any decisions at all.

And I had to dress him
this morning.

Why'd you put him
in fancy dwarf clothes?

Those are my clothes.

Those are your clothes?

[laughs]
That is mental.

Do you shop
in the children's section?

No, I don't shop
in the children's section...

of every store.

Guys, I need your help.

Yeah, what's up, bud?

I can't decide
which bathroom to use.

Well, before you pee
in my pants,

why don't you use the one down
there... the men's room?

- Good call.
- Okay.

Oh, wow, mate.

I hate seeing him
like this.

I hope him and your mother
didn't break up

'cause of what we did
at the open house.

If they did, I'd just look in
the mirror and think, "You twit.

"You selfish twit.

They were happy,
and you ruined it."

And then I'd kill myself.

Actually, I think
this is my fault.

Oh, that's all right, then.

Oh, but don't
beat yourself up.

And if there's anything
I can do to help...

Can you hang out
with him tonight?

He can't be at work,
but I don't think

he should be
home alone either.

This morning he tried
to throw himself in the river

because he smelled like my mom.

[door opens]

Guys, help.
I can't breathe.

Oh, unbutton
your tiny shirt.

[gasps]

Oh, that's better.

Wait. I still have
a stabbing pain

and a gaping hole where
my heart used to be.

You must feel terrible.

[guitar music]

[softly]
Hi.

Harrison,
go home.

I have nothing left
for you to ruin.

Oh, no, I'm not Harrison.

- I'm Harriet.
- What?

Your gal pal
and emotional support system,

who's here for you
in your time of need because...

breakups are hard, girl.

Please stop talking
like Whoopi Goldberg.

I'm sorry. I brought you
some doughnut holes

to fill the holes
in your heart

and some wine because...

well, I've met you.

Let's put this
somewhere else.

Why are you being
so nice to me?

I don't know.

I spent so much time trying
to break you and Jimmy up,

I never thought
about what I would do

if you actually
did break up.

So, until I figure
something out,

I'm just gonna
go with nice.

Seriously,
how are you?

Well, I just got dumped
by a 26-year-old,

so pretty terrible.

- Right.
- [chuckles]

I don't know. I feel like
I'm at a crossroads right now,

and I don't really know
which road to go down.

Why don't you just keep

going down the road
you were already on?

You said it yourself,
moving out...

it's not about Jimmy,
it's about you.

I thought you didn't want me
to sell the house?

I didn't,

but then I took us
down memory lane,

and I realized
that this house,

it just has a lot
of memories

that we could both stand
to leave behind...

like that time when you were
dating our son's best friend.

That's not funny, no.

Maybe you're right,

but unless I get
an offer on the house

and you actually
give me a divorce,

I'm kind of stuck.

[guitar music]

Hey, guys,
what'd you do tonight?

Oh, we haven't done
anything yet, mate.

Yeah, I thought we'd watch
some movies,

but Jimmy started to cry when
I put on the TV Guide channel.

Too many choices.

Reminded me of your mom.

Okay, this has
to stop, bud.

If you're not gonna
fix things with her,

you have to get over her.

I don't know
how to do that, buddy.

Sometimes when I'm trying
to get over someone,

I put all their things
into a small, hand-hewn casket

and then bury it under
a freshly planted yew tree.

This reminds me that the death
of an old relationship

can give birth to something
"yew," symbolic for "new."

Then I get absolutely smashed

and shag two birds
with one bone.

He can't do that because...

Oh, that would be
disrespectful to your mother.

Don't do that.

Sometimes it helps to talk about
what a useless slag your ex was.

But she was not.
She was a perfect lady.

- She was a perfect lady.
- This is tricky, mate.

I don't know what
I'm supposed to say.

You know, after Becca broke up
with me in college,

I hit the gym pretty hard.

- I got in great shape.
- I remember that.

You were like
a tiny Jean-Claude Van Damme.

But I'm already
in great shape.

What about finding
that elusive ninth ab?

You always said it was
the Atlantis of your core.

You want me to find
Isla de Muerta?

Nate, you can only find that
if you already know where it is.

Well, maybe you do.

Why don't you wake up early,
go for a jog?

It might jog your memory.

- That's a good idea.
- [chuckles]

Thanks, buddy.

Go get 'em, champ.

This would be
a whole lot easier

if your mother was
just a useless slag.

Oh, that's great!

Huh?

Um...

can I call you back?

Okay, bye.

You're not supposed to make
personal calls at work,

but since this is
more of a hobby for you,

I will let it slide.
Who was that?

It was my
real-estate agent, Bob.

Apparently, I got an offer
on my house.

And he wants to take me out
tonight to celebrate.

You go, girl.

I mean, you should go...
out with him.

You go out, girl.

Oh, I don't know.
Bob's not really my type.

This is not about Bob.

It's about
what Bob represents...

Age-appropriate,
real job...

This is the kind of guy
you should be dating.

Three days ago, you told me
I should be dating Jimmy.

But then you got dumped,
so now I say embrace the Bob.

Take a risk.

After all, life without risk
is like risotto without rice.

Are you reading off
another sign behind me?

No, I'm reading
from a cutting board,

but I like it,
'cause it's true.

Okay, fine.

I will go out with Bob tonight

and celebrate
the sale of my house.

- [laughs]
- You're doing what?

Honey, I made my decision,

I'm selling the house.
Shh.

Who cares about the house?

You can't go out with Bob.

This is not about Bob.

This is about
what Bob represents.

Neither the idea of Bob,
nor the actual Bob,

can make you happy.

He's just like Dad,

except with perfect hair
and flawless abs.

I'm not sure why I said
that last part.

Honey, this isn't
about doing what makes me happy.

Really? 'Cause I've gone
through some horrible things

the past two months so you
could do what makes you happy.

And if that's not
what this is about,

I saw your vagina
for nothing, Mom.

Honey, I've been doing
what makes me happy,

but what makes me happy
doesn't want to do me anymore.

So it's time I do what
normal divorc?es my age do.

It's time I buy a condo

and join a gym
that combines Pilates

with something ridiculous
like tap dancing

and pretend
to reinvent myself.

But all this time,

I thought you were
reinventing yourself.

You love him.
He loves you.

So just call him
and fix this.

You're the adult
in the situation.

Honey, I told Jimmy that
I wanted a future with him

and it's up to him to decide if
he wants the same thing with me.

But this is too big
of a decision

for Jimmy to make
on his own.

You have to decide
for him.

- I can't do that.
- Yes, you can.

I've been deciding
for him is whole life.

Oh, my God.

I've been deciding
for him his whole life.

I'm the reason
that Jimmy doesn't want

to make decisions
about his future.

You know, I don't even know
if he wanted to be a bartender.

He just needed a job,
so I told him,

you should come work for me.

He didn't have a place
to live, I told him,

"Hey, you should
come live with me."

You know, in kindergarten,
he didn't have any friends,

so I told him he should
be friends with me.

Wow, you really
"Being John Malkovich"-ed him.

Yeah, I think I have.
I mean, who does that?

- John Cusack.
- Mm.

Or someone who's afraid
to live his own life.

Well, what is that
supposed to mean?

It means that
maybe you spend

most of your time
puppetting Jimmy

because it's easier
to live his life than your own.

- I don't live Jimmy's life.
- [chuckles] Really?

'Cause I'm pretty sure
you just spent the morning

telling the woman Jimmy loves
how much he loves her.

When's the last time you told
a woman you love the same thing?

Well, maybe you're right.
Maybe Jimmy and I need

to start living
our own lives,

but I just have to show him
how great his future could be

if he'd start making decisions
for himself.

Or you could show him

how terrible his future could be
if he doesn't.

Fear is a much more
effective motivator.

Good point, but how
do I show him the future?

Too bad you don't have
your dad's time machine.

Yeah.

What if I did?

You don't.

But what if I did?

You still don't.

But what if I... Will you just
help me make one?

Oh, yeah, totally.
Sounds fun.

Cool.

[adventurous music]

[imitating Doc Brown]
Jimmy!

Jimmy, you've got to
come back with me.

What?
Where?

Back... to the future.

I don't understand
what you're doing.

[normal voice]
Back... Oh, back to the fut...

Just come with me.

- I need to show you something.
- Where are we going?

[imitating Doc Brown]
To the future.

What happened
to your car?

It's a time machine.

Is that my Mr. Coffee?

Just get in the car.

[tires screech]

Where'd you get
those glasses?

The ophthalmo... Look,
we don't have time for this.

I thought you had
a time machine.

[doorbell rings]

- Why did you ring the doorbell?
- Because you asked me to.

I've been thinking a lot
about what you said yesterday,

and I don't want to be
the reason why you're stuck.

I love you.

So...

I'm setting you free.

Harrison, are those
our divorce papers?

Signed, sealed, delivered.

- [laughs]
- I'm not yours...

anymore.

Oh.

Oh, Harrison, thank you.

- [sniffs]
- Thank you.

Are you wearing
Intense Satin Rose?

Yes, I am.

That's your sex perfume.

- No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.

- No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.

You always wore that
on our sex nights.

The rest of the nights,
you would wear Mild Wood Sage.

How did you know that?

Because it's
a husband's prerogative

to know everything
about his wife.

Oh, really?
What's my middle name?

Don't go changing
the subject.

You are all dressed up.
You smell of sex.

Are you and Jimmy
back together?

No, we're not
back together.

Then where are you going,
and who are you going with?

As your husband,
I have a right to know!

You are not
my husband anymore.

Oh, yes, I am!
Yes, I am!

- Give it to me!
- Nope.

I am.

I thought you wanted
to set me free.

I did, when you had
nowhere to go.

- Give 'em back... give it to...
- No.

- You know what? Come on...
- No, sorry.

I don't have time for this.
I'm late to meet Bob.

- Oh, crap.
- [gasps] Bob Babcock?

Yeah.

You're going to have sex
with Bob's Babcock?

No. No, I'm just
going on a date.

It's not about Bob.
It's what Bob represents.

You know what? I don't need
to explain this to you!

I am going on
a representative date,

and there is nothing
you can do about it.

Yes, there is.
I could actually follow you.

What is all this?

What is Atticus
doing here?

That's not Atticus.

That's you in the future...

minus the tinfoil,
which I did not tell him to use.

I thought it was
a nice touch.

Jimmy, I want you to watch,
very carefully,

because this is
what happens to you

if you never make any decisions
about your future...

[voice fading]
Future, future, future...

Future Jimmy.

It's supposed to be
"Future Jimmy."

We rehearsed it
as "Future Jimmy."

And then he dies.

As Jimmy, the choices
I regret most

are the ones I did not make.

Wait. I end up
an airport bartender?

What happened to my job
at Lincoln?

Lincoln closed
in 2035.

- Where are you?
- I'm in Provence with Timmy.

- What?
- I'm kidding.

But seriously,
I moved on, bud.

I left Portland.

I opened up restaurants
in other cities.

Look, I tried to keep
in touch with you,

but you never grew up,
so eventually we grew apart.

What about Christmas?

I mean, we still
spend Christmas together, right?

No, I spend my Christmases

- with my mom and Bob Babcock.
- Bob Babcock?

And their annoying kid,
Biff Babcock.

It's horrible.
I miss my best friend.

I miss him dating my mom.

That's so sad.

It is, but it
doesn't have to be.

Jimmy, your future's coming
whether you like it or not.

You don't get to choose that,

but you do get to choose whether
or not you have a say in it.

And from now on,
you're gonna have to choose,

because I'm not
gonna choose for you.

Why does it feel like
you're breaking up with me?

Because I am.

I can't be the reason you let
the love of your life

slip through your fingers.

Well, how do you know your
mom's the love of my life?

Because the only choice
that I didn't make for you

was her.

She was the best choice
I ever made.

Because she's the only choi...
Never mind.

The point is that
you already chose your future

the day you chose my mom.

You just didn't
realize it yet.

And for what
it's worth, mate,

between the pickle barn
and tonight,

I've spent a lot
of time inside you,

and as Jimmy,
we're ready for this.

What if your mom
doesn't want me anymore?

Well, you never know
unless you ask her.

And you should probably do that
right now

before she makes it to her date
with Bob Babcock.

Wait. You were serious
about Bob Babcock?

She's going on a date
with Bob Babcock?

I got to go now!
Wait, oh, wait.

If I'm gonna break up a date,
I'm gonna need backup.

And my bike is at the park,

so I'm also gonna need
the time machine.

While we're doing alsos,

you probably want
to put on Atticus' clothes.

Can't win a lady back
dressed like Richard Simmons.

You look nice in that.

Hey, can't this thing
go any faster?

Come on, mate, you got to get
her up to 88 miles an hour

to complete the metaphor.

- I'm trying.
- [beeping, whirring]

Nate, is this really
a time machine?

No, I'm really getting
pulled over.

All right, nobody say
anything stupid.

Don't be down.
We're gonna get there.

License and registration,
please.

- Hey, I know you.
- Officer Kegall.

- [chuckles] Yeah.
- Hey. What are...

You the only cop
in Portland?

No.

Hey, where are ya'll headed
in such a hurry?

To the future.

Wait. You made
a time machine...

out of a Prius?

Listen, my mom...

well, his ex-girlfriend...

Your mom
is his ex-girlfriend?

Yeah, it's a long story we
don't really have time for,

but they broke up, and now she's
on a date with another guy.

Well, why didn't you
just say so?

I did just say so.

Let's do this!
[laughs]

Whoo!

[upbeat music]

Stop it.
You're embarrassing me.

Stop following me, Harrison.

Not until I give Bob Babcock
a piece of my fist.

- [siren wailing]
- [sighs] Stop it.

What is that?

Is that Nate?

Oh, you've got
to be kidding me.

Jimmy,
what are you doing here?

- No, no, you had your chance.
- I'm making a choice.

You had your chance,
pretty boy.

Dad... Dad, you can't...

You have to stop inserting
yourself in Mom's life.

Oh, so you're taking
Jimmy's side after all.

Look, I'm taking whatever side
makes Mom happy.

Nate, I don't know
what that is.

Yes, you do.
You always did.

I messed up.

I thought if I never made
choices about my future

that I'd have nothing
but possibilities.

But then I realized,
if I didn't make any choices,

I'd end up with nothing...
but possibilities.

- You did?
- Yeah.

I want to take the next step.
I want to paint the walls.

But not the walls of the condo
because I want to contribute,

and I don't really think I can
afford that right now, so...

How do you feel
about renting?

I feel good
about renting,

and I feel excited
about us,

but worried that...

we're still
in two different places and...

But we're not.

I'm just starting out,
and you're just starting over.

I would really love it
if we could do that together.

[Branches' "I Believe
in a Thing Called Love"]

Man, that is some kiss.

Nothing compared to ours.

Well, this is it...
the end of an era.

Hey, I'm really gonna
miss you, buddy.

I'm gonna miss you too,

but we'll see each other
all the time.

Oh, I almost forgot.

I got you guys
a housewarming present.

It means the world to me,

and so do you guys.

Get out of here.
Go on.

You take real good care
of my mom.

I will.

[guitar music]

[giggles, sighs]

Wow.
Still so weird.

- Love you, honey.
- Love you.

[sighs]

[door opens]

Jimmy, what'd you forget?

Ooh, it's not Jimmy.

Dad, what are you
doing here?

I'm moving in, kiddo.

You told me to stop inserting
myself into your mom's life,

so I thought
I'd pop into yours.

- Dad.
- Don't think of me

as your old man.

Think of me
as your wingman.

You do realize
that this entire place

is one giant water bed.

So, if the boat is a rockin'...
so are we.

I hope we don't wake
your new neighbors.

- Ya got any prosciutto?
- No, no, no. No.

Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0