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1
00:00:00,220 --> 00:00:00,460
(SIGHS)
2
00:00:03,460 --> 00:00:05,420
(SIGHS)
3
00:00:05,580 --> 00:00:08,100
Norma...how long do you reckon
it'll be
4
00:00:08,260 --> 00:00:10,940
for me to get used to not having
her around?
5
00:00:11,060 --> 00:00:12,980
Oh, I suppose that's up to you.
6
00:00:14,540 --> 00:00:17,180
I just wasn't expecting her
to go just like that.
7
00:00:17,340 --> 00:00:19,500
Well, it's no good
you going on about it.
8
00:00:19,660 --> 00:00:22,900
I'm not going on about it.
You're constantly whining.
9
00:00:23,060 --> 00:00:25,660
I mean, my husband is lying there
in a box
10
00:00:25,820 --> 00:00:28,700
and you can't stop talking about
your ex-girlfriend.
11
00:00:28,860 --> 00:00:31,540
Yeah, but Uncle Vinnie had been ill
for ages, hadn't he?
12
00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:33,860
He didn't leave you, did he?
He's dead!
13
00:00:34,020 --> 00:00:36,340
Don't look like that.
Zoe, she left me cos...
14
00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:39,580
she prefers not having me in her
life. That's worse, in a way.
15
00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:41,260
Zoe gave you plenty of warning.
16
00:00:41,420 --> 00:00:44,900
It's not like this came out of
the blue like you're making out.
17
00:00:45,060 --> 00:00:48,340
Now go get yourself dressed up
before everyone arrives.
18
00:00:48,460 --> 00:00:52,380
When I am going round the bend
19
00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:56,660
I got a wild, imaginary friend
20
00:00:56,780 --> 00:01:01,020
Mr Whisper's here again
21
00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:05,660
Mr Whisper's here again
22
00:01:05,780 --> 00:01:09,460
I think I can control him
23
00:01:09,580 --> 00:01:14,380
But instead
24
00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:18,740
Mr Whisper takes control
25
00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:23,580
Guides my heart
and rides my soul...
26
00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:25,620
(BELL RINGS)
27
00:01:25,740 --> 00:01:27,660
(SONG CONTINUES OVER SHOP RADIO)
28
00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:41,220
Excuse me. Is it all right
if I try this on?
29
00:01:41,380 --> 00:01:43,380
Through the back.
All right. Cheers.
30
00:01:48,380 --> 00:01:50,380
(THINKS) I look a right nob
in a suit.
31
00:01:50,540 --> 00:01:53,100
It's the way you're holding
yourself, isn't it?
32
00:01:53,260 --> 00:01:56,540
Look at you. You're all sort of
stiff. Like a gingerbread man.
33
00:01:56,660 --> 00:01:58,300
You know why that is, don't you?
34
00:01:58,460 --> 00:02:01,540
You're not comfortable in smart
clothes. You never have been.
35
00:02:01,740 --> 00:02:06,700
It's not you. It's restricting.
Tight. You can't stretch. You can't move about. That's what it is.
36
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:09,660
That's what I've never understood
about James Bond.
37
00:02:09,860 --> 00:02:13,780
When you think about the line of
work he's involved in and he wears a suit.
38
00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:18,740
Every day he's getting involved in a
scrap and fighting the enemy on top of a moving train
39
00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:21,060
and he turns up to work wearing
a tuxedo.
40
00:02:21,180 --> 00:02:22,580
A fucking idiot.
41
00:02:22,780 --> 00:02:27,380
Meant to be an undercover spy
and he's wandering around like he's been invited to the Oscars.
42
00:02:28,620 --> 00:02:30,740
I tell you who got it right.
Superman.
43
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:33,580
That's ideal clothing.
Nice and stretchy. Light.
44
00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:35,620
Moveable. Airy.
45
00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:38,980
It's just when he added the cape
I think he went a bit too far.
46
00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:40,420
Shut up.
47
00:02:40,580 --> 00:02:43,940
I'm not Superman, am I? I'm not
fighting the enemy, I'm just...
48
00:02:44,060 --> 00:02:45,780
going to a funeral.
49
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:47,820
You know what's funny about this?
50
00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:50,980
Whenever Zoe asked you to wear
a suit you never wore one.
51
00:02:51,140 --> 00:02:53,820
She's gone, hasn't she,
so why start now?
52
00:02:57,220 --> 00:03:01,700
RADIO: # ..please come back
to the world I love... #
53
00:03:03,580 --> 00:03:05,580
(SHOP DOOR BELL RINGS)
54
00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:07,620
That's more like it.
55
00:03:09,340 --> 00:03:11,300
Smart, but casual.
56
00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:15,220
Really? You know that's just like
a built-in collar, don't you?
57
00:03:15,380 --> 00:03:18,740
It's not a full shirt, that. You're
getting about 8% of the shirt.
58
00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:22,220
It's just sewn in. There's no cuffs.
They're taking the piss.
59
00:03:22,340 --> 00:03:23,860
Yeah, well...
60
00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:26,580
Less buttons. Saves time, doesn't it?
61
00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:28,380
What do you mean, 'saves time'?
62
00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:31,020
What... Mr Mega-Busy over there?
Saves time?
63
00:03:31,180 --> 00:03:34,900
What are you going to buy next?
Trousers with built-in underpants?
64
00:03:35,020 --> 00:03:36,980
I'll take it.
65
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:38,620
(SIGHS)
66
00:03:52,020 --> 00:03:56,180
I tell you what, you could use today
as a way of meeting someone new, you know.
67
00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:57,660
At a funeral?
68
00:03:57,860 --> 00:04:02,260
When else are you gonna meet
someone? You don't have much of a social life. So perfect.
69
00:04:02,460 --> 00:04:06,860
If you think about it, the other
thing that normally lets you down is that miserable face of yours.
70
00:04:07,020 --> 00:04:10,820
I'm not having a go, but that's your
default setting. That sort of look.
71
00:04:11,020 --> 00:04:15,820
Whereas today you can have that.
They're gonna think you look like that cos it's a funeral.
72
00:04:16,020 --> 00:04:20,420
It makes sense. You can't live with
your auntie for the rest of your life. Get out there.
73
00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:23,580
Just a thought.
74
00:04:26,460 --> 00:04:28,660
Don't you look smart!
All right, innit?
75
00:04:28,820 --> 00:04:31,420
How about a tie? No.
I'd rather not wear one. Why?
76
00:04:31,580 --> 00:04:33,740
I just don't like 'em.
Oh, but it would look so -
77
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:37,380
They're a bit irritating.
I'm sure Vinnie had a black one you could have.
78
00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:39,620
I'll go get it. I don't want a tie.
Stop going on.
79
00:04:39,820 --> 00:04:43,700
Why? Cos it's not real. There's no
shirt there. It's just a built-in collar.
80
00:04:43,860 --> 00:04:47,020
What the hell is that? You said how
nice I looked. Stop making a fuss.
81
00:04:47,180 --> 00:04:49,860
(DOOR KNOCKER) Ties are pointless,
a waste of material.
82
00:04:51,620 --> 00:04:53,580
(DOOR SQUEAKS)
83
00:04:53,740 --> 00:04:56,980
A sofa delivery. Oh, you're having
a laugh, aren't you?
84
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:58,980
Where do you want it?
85
00:04:59,140 --> 00:05:01,220
Today's not good,
to be honest with you.
86
00:05:01,380 --> 00:05:04,620
Any chance I can sort of rearrange,
get it sorted another time?
87
00:05:04,740 --> 00:05:06,660
Yeah. I suppose so. That is doable.
88
00:05:06,820 --> 00:05:09,540
You'll have to phone the office
to rearrange.
89
00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:11,180
All right. I'll do that. Cheers.
90
00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:12,820
So you know, there will be a charge.
91
00:05:12,940 --> 00:05:14,420
For what?
92
00:05:14,540 --> 00:05:16,180
To rearrange the delivery.
93
00:05:16,340 --> 00:05:18,500
No, he's taking the piss.
What he's doing,
94
00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:21,380
you do this, send him off,
you've got to pay him again.
95
00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:23,700
But I've already paid for delivery.
96
00:05:23,860 --> 00:05:27,820
Yeah, but that's for today's
delivery. I've got a funeral today -
97
00:05:28,020 --> 00:05:32,740
Yeah, well, I'm very sorry for your
loss, but like I say there is a charge for redelivery.
98
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,980
It's ?40.
40 quid?
99
00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:36,780
Again?
100
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:38,820
Get him to bring it in.
101
00:05:38,980 --> 00:05:40,900
All right.
Bring it in now then. Fine.
102
00:05:42,460 --> 00:05:43,820
Ooh. Aah.
103
00:05:43,980 --> 00:05:46,900
Couldn't you have them deliver it
at a more appropriate time?
104
00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:50,660
There's no room for it and there are
a lot more people coming for the reception.
105
00:05:50,820 --> 00:05:53,580
He charges 40 quid each time
he does a drop-off.
106
00:05:53,780 --> 00:05:57,900
Gonna be more room once Uncle Vinnie
has been shifted and the old sofa has got to go.
107
00:05:58,020 --> 00:05:59,260
Excuse me.
108
00:05:59,420 --> 00:06:02,180
This... I think you're taking
this old sofa today.
109
00:06:02,340 --> 00:06:05,300
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It is down here in the paperwork.
110
00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:07,340
I've just got to check it out first.
111
00:06:07,460 --> 00:06:09,180
Sorry for your loss.
112
00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:10,940
Excuse me, ladies.
113
00:06:19,540 --> 00:06:21,500
You've got a bit of a problem here.
114
00:06:21,620 --> 00:06:23,540
There ain't no fire labels.
115
00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:25,780
What does that mean?
I can't take it.
116
00:06:25,940 --> 00:06:27,620
Why?
Safety regulations.
117
00:06:27,780 --> 00:06:30,180
Honestly, health and safety
does my head in.
118
00:06:30,340 --> 00:06:33,820
They'll be selling like safety
googles with fucking bacon next.
119
00:06:33,980 --> 00:06:36,820
Look... Can you sign
for the new one?
120
00:06:36,940 --> 00:06:39,100
Here and here.
121
00:06:39,260 --> 00:06:42,380
Just so you know, you've got
a 14-day return policy.
122
00:06:42,540 --> 00:06:44,620
What am I meant
to do with it now, then?
123
00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:47,860
Well, most people stick it on
Gumtree or one of them sites.
124
00:06:48,020 --> 00:06:50,900
There's always someone that's
willing to take a risk.
125
00:06:51,020 --> 00:06:52,740
Take a risk?
126
00:06:52,860 --> 00:06:54,580
It's a sofa.
127
00:06:54,740 --> 00:06:57,620
Where are we going then? Only down
the road. It's a little chaise.
128
00:06:57,740 --> 00:06:59,060
Excuse me, fellas.
129
00:07:02,860 --> 00:07:05,140
NORMA: I'll see you
at the crematorium.
130
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,220
I'll see you at the crematorium.
131
00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:10,060
Yes? Yes? Thank you.
132
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:11,580
Thank you.
133
00:07:11,740 --> 00:07:15,420
(CLICKS) We're going now. Would you
take Marco and Sophia in your car?
134
00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:17,260
(CLICKS)
Yeah. Just give us a minute.
135
00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:21,380
I'm just taking photos of the...
(CLICKS) ..the sofa to put online.
136
00:07:30,540 --> 00:07:32,500
This is barmy, this, isn't it?
137
00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:37,820
If they're gonna insist on driving
this slowly, why don't they do all funerals in the rush hour?
138
00:07:37,940 --> 00:07:40,140
We're causing a right tail-back.
139
00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:43,780
When you think about it, you know,
when we all eventually die,
140
00:07:43,940 --> 00:07:46,940
the last thing we do
before we're like stuck in a hole
141
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:50,220
or get set fire to is piss off
other drivers, that's it.
142
00:07:50,380 --> 00:07:53,220
That's the last thing we do.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
143
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,540
Hello.
144
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:56,980
MAN: I'm calling about the sofa
you've got online.
145
00:07:57,140 --> 00:08:00,620
That was quick. What colour is it?
It's hard to tell on that photo.
146
00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:03,940
It's...erm...sort of yellow.
Yellow... Yellow checked.
147
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:06,620
A mustard yellow?
Or a more lemony yellow?
148
00:08:08,180 --> 00:08:11,220
Just yellow. What sort of condition
is it in? Any stains?
149
00:08:11,420 --> 00:08:15,020
You do know it's free, don't you?
Yeah, I know. That's why I'm asking.
150
00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:17,060
You wouldn't get shite for free,
normally.
151
00:08:17,220 --> 00:08:19,740
I'll just come round for it now,
take it off your hands.
152
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,380
Now?
What?
153
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,220
You having second thoughts?
154
00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:25,260
I'm... I'm just in the middle...
155
00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:28,300
Give us like 20 minutes. I'll be
there as quick as I can.
156
00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:30,260
Well, hurry up. It's bloody freez...
157
00:08:30,380 --> 00:08:31,900
(ENDS CALL)
158
00:08:36,620 --> 00:08:39,620
(SOMBRE ORGAN MUSIC) Norma, I'm gonna
nip back to the flat.
159
00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:42,860
I've had a call about the old sofa.
Someone is going to take it.
160
00:08:43,020 --> 00:08:46,100
You're gonna miss your uncle's
funeral for...for a sofa?
161
00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:51,100
I won't be long. We get it moved,
then there's more room for everyone later having their butties.
162
00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:54,260
You didn't even need a new sofa.
We've been through all this.
163
00:08:54,420 --> 00:08:57,340
I've got to get shot of it,
it's a constant reminder of Zoe.
164
00:08:57,500 --> 00:09:00,380
Well, don't be too long. You don't
want to let your uncle down.
165
00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:04,740
Vinnie is not gonna be bothered, is
he? It's his funeral, not his birthday party.
166
00:09:21,540 --> 00:09:23,380
Hiya, mate. You here for the sofa?
167
00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:25,020
Yeah.
168
00:09:25,180 --> 00:09:27,060
It's just through here.
Great.
169
00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:29,980
In a bit of a rush.
170
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:32,020
This one here.
171
00:09:35,940 --> 00:09:39,220
It looked a bit better in the photo.
Well, it's the same one.
172
00:09:41,940 --> 00:09:45,260
The cushions are a bit battered,
aren't they? What...
173
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:48,660
(SNIFFS)
174
00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:59,820
(SPRINGS SQUEAK)
175
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,620
(SQUEAKS)
176
00:10:08,020 --> 00:10:10,820
Yeah. All right, then.
I'll take it off your hands.
177
00:10:10,980 --> 00:10:14,340
You couldn't give us a hand,
could you? Yeah. All right. Yeah.
178
00:10:16,420 --> 00:10:17,980
One...two...
179
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:21,260
Right, I'm clear.
180
00:10:21,380 --> 00:10:23,020
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
181
00:10:23,180 --> 00:10:26,860
You got it? Just slow down a minute.
I'm still on the steps here.
182
00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:28,900
All right? Fine.
Clear.
183
00:10:30,780 --> 00:10:32,740
There you go.
184
00:10:32,940 --> 00:10:36,900
Right. Where are you parked? Hey?
Where are you parked? Where's your van?
185
00:10:37,060 --> 00:10:40,220
No. I haven't got a van.
You said you'd give me a hand.
186
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,540
Yeah. I meant just outside the house.
187
00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:45,820
Come on. Just down the road.
Two minutes. Piss-taker!
188
00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:47,860
A free sofa and free delivery.
189
00:10:48,020 --> 00:10:50,380
You paid 40 quid
to get yours dropped off.
190
00:10:55,370 --> 00:10:55,570
(SIGHS)
191
00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:07,890
We come on the Sloop John B
192
00:11:08,930 --> 00:11:11,290
My grandfather and me
193
00:11:12,450 --> 00:11:15,930
Around Nassau town
we did roam...
194
00:11:16,090 --> 00:11:18,250
Don't let it scrape on the side,
will you?
195
00:11:18,370 --> 00:11:19,890
Just keep going, will you?
196
00:11:20,050 --> 00:11:22,530
I'm against a wall.
We'll have to lift it up.
197
00:11:22,690 --> 00:11:25,890
I'll go here and you just swing it
round to your end.
198
00:11:26,050 --> 00:11:28,050
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You're gonna rip the back.
199
00:11:28,210 --> 00:11:30,890
Is there really no other way?
Is this the quickest route?
200
00:11:31,050 --> 00:11:34,490
This is gonna knock off a couple of
minutes. Like playing Pac-Man.
201
00:11:34,650 --> 00:11:37,010
Is it really that hard work?
Yes! You're -
202
00:11:37,170 --> 00:11:39,930
I'm carrying more weight!
This is ridiculous.
203
00:11:42,490 --> 00:11:43,770
Nob-head!
204
00:11:43,930 --> 00:11:46,090
(LAUGHS)
Just kicked me up the arse.
205
00:11:46,210 --> 00:11:48,130
(PANTING) Can you just stop a sec?
206
00:11:49,650 --> 00:11:51,570
Right. Down.
(GROANS)
207
00:11:52,970 --> 00:11:54,930
I'm sweating like a bastard.
208
00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:57,690
Well, you're layering up.
Take your jumper off.
209
00:11:57,850 --> 00:12:01,130
I'll leave it on. I'll be all right
in a minute. Just needed...
210
00:12:01,290 --> 00:12:03,490
to get some air...
some air under my arms.
211
00:12:03,610 --> 00:12:05,130
(HEAVY EXHALE)
212
00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:07,170
Not much further, yeah?
213
00:12:07,290 --> 00:12:09,210
Two minutes. I promise.
214
00:12:10,490 --> 00:12:12,810
You all right? Yeah. Yeah.
Two...three...
215
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,250
Right. We're here.
216
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:18,890
Pop it down here.
217
00:12:19,050 --> 00:12:22,330
That's great, that. I really
appreciate it. Thanks for that.
218
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,370
I'll give you a hand getting it in.
219
00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:26,650
(DOG BARKS)
Erm...
220
00:12:26,770 --> 00:12:28,410
You Neil?
221
00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:29,730
Yeah.
222
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,770
So, this is it, yeah?
223
00:12:33,050 --> 00:12:34,610
Yeah.
224
00:12:36,090 --> 00:12:39,330
Yeah, the condition is not as good
as you said, though, is it?
225
00:12:40,970 --> 00:12:42,930
What did we say? 45?
226
00:12:43,050 --> 00:12:44,530
Yeah.
227
00:12:44,650 --> 00:12:46,570
Yeah. If you're happy with that?
228
00:12:46,690 --> 00:12:48,490
There's no fire labels here.
229
00:12:48,610 --> 00:12:50,530
Well, I'll get you some fire labels.
230
00:12:50,690 --> 00:12:53,170
Well, it still won't be fireproof,
will it?
231
00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:55,970
35?
232
00:12:57,410 --> 00:13:00,250
Look, sorry to waste your time,
lads. It's not for me.
233
00:13:00,370 --> 00:13:02,290
(GROANS) For fuck's sake.
234
00:13:02,450 --> 00:13:06,130
Cheeky bastard! I give you a sofa
for free and you try and sell it on?
235
00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:07,930
I thought I was helping you out.
236
00:13:08,130 --> 00:13:11,810
Don't give me that shit. It wasn't
about helping about. You wanted to get rid of it.
237
00:13:11,970 --> 00:13:13,930
Wait, wait, wait!
Can't leave it here.
238
00:13:14,090 --> 00:13:16,170
Leave it for the council.
They'll take it.
239
00:13:16,290 --> 00:13:17,650
Can't just chuck it away.
240
00:13:17,810 --> 00:13:20,090
Ain't gonna get nothing for this.
Piece of shit, mate.
241
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:23,130
A piece of shit? It was worth 45 quid
about two minutes ago.
242
00:13:23,290 --> 00:13:25,490
I'm not leaving it here.
I got this with my ex.
243
00:13:25,650 --> 00:13:28,570
What, she leave you for someone
with a better taste in sofas?
244
00:13:28,730 --> 00:13:31,930
(SIGHS) What are you moaning about?
It's just a bloody sofa.
245
00:13:32,090 --> 00:13:35,450
It's just a sofa to you. It isn't to
me. It's ten years of my life, this.
246
00:13:35,610 --> 00:13:38,610
Just chucking it away, it's
like...like it never happened.
247
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,050
(SIGHS)
248
00:13:40,170 --> 00:13:41,730
Do you know what?
249
00:13:41,850 --> 00:13:43,930
You should just keep it.
250
00:13:44,970 --> 00:13:46,930
This obviously means so much to you.
251
00:13:47,090 --> 00:13:50,170
I don't know why you were giving it
away in the first place.
252
00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:54,090
I don't know what I was thinking.
I don't know why I bought a new one.
253
00:13:54,210 --> 00:13:56,130
Nothing but a ball ache.
254
00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:58,170
Can you do us a favour?
255
00:13:59,570 --> 00:14:01,530
Take it back.
256
00:14:01,650 --> 00:14:03,570
Yeah, man, of course. Grab hold.
257
00:14:03,730 --> 00:14:05,610
That'll be 20 quid.
Eh?
258
00:14:07,490 --> 00:14:10,130
Well, a delivery firm
will charge you 40. You...
259
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:14,570
20 quid. I'm saving you money
and helping you out.
260
00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:17,410
Not really, no. Cos it wouldn't be
here if it weren't for you.
261
00:14:17,570 --> 00:14:20,450
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
Hang on, hang on. I'll get this.
262
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,370
Hello.
Where are you?
263
00:14:22,490 --> 00:14:24,490
There's been a slight change of plan.
264
00:14:25,650 --> 00:14:29,370
The service is about to start.
Are you on your way? I'll be there.
265
00:14:29,530 --> 00:14:33,170
I'm taking the sofa back. I thought
you said some guy was gonna take it.
266
00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:36,410
Yeah. I changed my mind. Gonna keep
that, get the money back.
267
00:14:36,610 --> 00:14:41,650
Then treat Zoe to a nice weekend
away, a sit-down dinner somewhere. Sort of charm her back.
268
00:14:41,810 --> 00:14:46,210
You're the only man I know that has
an on-off relationship with a sofa!
269
00:14:46,330 --> 00:14:47,730
All right. I'll see you in a bit.
270
00:14:47,890 --> 00:14:50,890
Right. Come on. Let's get a move on.
Good. Come on.
271
00:14:52,610 --> 00:14:55,610
Do we have to go all the way back?
Yeah. All the way, yeah.
272
00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:57,850
And you can give us a hand
getting it in.
273
00:14:58,010 --> 00:15:04,210
I'd like to walk around
in your mind some day...
274
00:15:06,290 --> 00:15:08,610
I think I'd like to have a barge
one day.
275
00:15:08,730 --> 00:15:10,850
You know? It's the dream, innit?
276
00:15:10,970 --> 00:15:12,890
Just go anywhere on a barge.
277
00:15:13,050 --> 00:15:15,890
It's water, innit?
It's where all life began.
278
00:15:16,050 --> 00:15:18,650
I don't understand
why you're looking so happy.
279
00:15:18,810 --> 00:15:21,690
You gave some bloke 20 quid to take
your sofa for a walk!
280
00:15:21,810 --> 00:15:23,170
I thought we'd decided.
281
00:15:23,370 --> 00:15:27,370
I thought the whole point was
getting rid of the old sofa, get a new sofa and move on.
282
00:15:27,530 --> 00:15:30,810
It's not the sofa I've got to change.
It's me who has got to change.
283
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:34,650
Can you just listen to me?
I'm not gonna listen to you. I'm sick of listening to you
284
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:38,690
That's your problem.
You keep talking, but you're not listening to anyone else.
285
00:15:38,890 --> 00:15:43,050
Look what happened with Zoe. When she
brought up marriage that time, what did you do?
286
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:46,290
You just closed the door on it.
Oh, no, no, that's not for me.
287
00:15:46,490 --> 00:15:51,290
Then it was kids. You nipped that in
the bud, you didn't want to know. Never listened to what she wanted.
288
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:55,090
In the end, that's probably why she
fucked off. You're just too negative.
289
00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:57,450
Yeah, but... Hang on.
That's how we work.
290
00:15:57,610 --> 00:15:59,290
I'm too negative.
You're too positive.
291
00:15:59,450 --> 00:16:02,410
Like a battery. It wouldn't work
with both ends being positive.
292
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:13,930
Would you like to know a secret?
293
00:16:14,970 --> 00:16:16,930
Just between you and me
294
00:16:18,170 --> 00:16:21,330
I don't know where I'm going next
295
00:16:21,450 --> 00:16:24,210
I don't know where I'm gonna be
296
00:16:26,290 --> 00:16:31,290
But that's the other side
of this life I've been leading
297
00:16:33,250 --> 00:16:36,890
But that's the other side
of this life
298
00:16:42,970 --> 00:16:46,650
Well, my whole world's
in an uproar
299
00:16:46,770 --> 00:16:49,170
My whole world's upside down
300
00:16:50,490 --> 00:16:56,410
I don't know where I'm going,
but I'm always bumming around
301
00:16:58,490 --> 00:17:03,610
And that's another side
of this life I've been leading
302
00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:10,810
And that's another side
of this life I've been leading
303
00:17:12,810 --> 00:17:16,450
But that's another side
of this life
304
00:17:23,850 --> 00:17:26,770
Supposed to be at
my uncle's funeral today. Yeah?
305
00:17:26,930 --> 00:17:29,410
They'll be cremating me
if I don't get a drink.
306
00:17:29,530 --> 00:17:31,050
Are you thirsty? Gasping.
307
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:36,090
Over there, you can get anything you
want. A bit of food, if you want. A bit of pizza or summat.
308
00:17:36,210 --> 00:17:38,130
Here. Pop it down here.
309
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:40,170
I'll sort you out and go get it.
310
00:17:40,330 --> 00:17:42,770
Just a Coke, yeah. Cheers.
Nowt to eat?
311
00:17:42,890 --> 00:17:44,570
And a banana, if they've got one.
312
00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:46,170
Can I have some money?
313
00:17:46,290 --> 00:17:48,090
I gave you a 20 before.
314
00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:50,770
Yeah, but that's for
the delivery of the sofa.
315
00:17:50,890 --> 00:17:52,650
A banana and a Coke.
316
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:56,170
Is it all right if I get something
as well? Yeah. Treat yourself.
317
00:17:56,330 --> 00:17:58,810
Just be quick, yeah?
Brilliant. Two minutes.
318
00:17:58,930 --> 00:18:00,850
(DUCKS QUACK)
319
00:18:02,130 --> 00:18:04,090
(SIGHS)
320
00:18:04,210 --> 00:18:06,130
(RINGING TONE)
321
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:12,330
I wonder if you can help me.
I had a sofa delivered this morning.
322
00:18:12,530 --> 00:18:16,890
I want to say thank you very much
for taking the trouble to be here for Vincent...
323
00:18:17,050 --> 00:18:19,930
Well, Vinnie, as I think most of you
would have known him...
324
00:18:20,090 --> 00:18:22,690
"I'm not here. Leave a message."
(Where are you?)
325
00:18:24,410 --> 00:18:26,850
The service is starting
and you're not here.
326
00:18:27,010 --> 00:18:30,170
I know that our thoughts are
very much with Norma
327
00:18:30,290 --> 00:18:32,890
and, er, his favourite nephew Karl.
328
00:18:33,050 --> 00:18:35,730
"The person you're calling knows
you're waiting.
329
00:18:35,930 --> 00:18:39,770
Please hold the line. The person
you're calling knows you're waiting."
330
00:18:39,970 --> 00:18:45,650
What? Did you honestly think he was
gonna come trotting back with a nice little picnic for both of you?
331
00:18:45,810 --> 00:18:48,370
He's sodded off with your money,
you nob-head.
332
00:18:48,490 --> 00:18:50,410
Can we just get to the funeral?
333
00:18:50,570 --> 00:18:53,290
All this sofa stuff, it's been
nothing but hassle.
334
00:18:53,410 --> 00:18:54,850
Gotta move on.
335
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:59,610
Look at Norma. She's cremating her
husband today. She's not moping about like this, is she?
336
00:18:59,770 --> 00:19:03,330
Could learn from her. You've sort of
got this odd thing in your head
337
00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:06,370
that by keeping that sofa
that Zoe is gonna come back.
338
00:19:06,570 --> 00:19:10,530
It's not gonna happen.
You've got to let go of the sofa and let go of Zoe.
339
00:19:10,690 --> 00:19:13,610
All you seem to be good at letting
go of is 20 quid notes.
340
00:19:13,730 --> 00:19:16,130
Miss me a little.
341
00:19:16,250 --> 00:19:17,850
But not for long.
342
00:19:18,970 --> 00:19:20,930
And not with your head bent low.
343
00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:24,850
Remember the love
that once we shared.
344
00:19:26,530 --> 00:19:28,970
Miss me, but let me go.
345
00:19:29,090 --> 00:19:31,010
Oi!
346
00:19:33,010 --> 00:19:34,530
Twat!
347
00:19:34,690 --> 00:19:38,890
'For this is a journey we all must
take and each must go alone.'
348
00:19:40,850 --> 00:19:46,250
It's all part of the master plan,
a step on the road to home.
349
00:19:46,370 --> 00:19:48,250
(SOBS)
350
00:19:52,610 --> 00:19:57,730
When you are lonely and sick at
heart, go to the friends we know.
351
00:19:59,290 --> 00:20:01,610
Laugh at all the things
we used to do.
352
00:20:05,490 --> 00:20:08,570
Miss me, but let me go.
353
00:20:12,490 --> 00:20:16,770
It's over, it's over between us...
354
00:20:16,890 --> 00:20:18,810
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
355
00:20:20,490 --> 00:20:22,890
Hello.
MAN: Hello, mate, er...
356
00:20:23,010 --> 00:20:24,930
I've just seen the sofa online.
357
00:20:25,050 --> 00:20:26,970
What kind of condition is it in?
358
00:20:31,010 --> 00:20:33,570
..I tried to stay away
359
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:37,930
And push you out of my mind
360
00:20:38,050 --> 00:20:39,970
When I saw
361
00:20:40,090 --> 00:20:43,730
We could make it
362
00:20:43,850 --> 00:20:45,770
Oh, Lord
363
00:20:48,050 --> 00:20:50,890
I love you so much
364
00:20:51,010 --> 00:20:54,330
As much as any man could
365
00:20:54,490 --> 00:20:56,930
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366
00:20:56,980 --> 00:21:01,530
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