All language subtitles for Siblings s02e05 Baby Sack.eng

Finally. Can I get four
chocolate muffins?

Ooh, and cup of hazelnut syrup
on the side? To take away.

You're not staying?

I thought we were having one of our
famous Siblings Coffee Mornings?

OK, first off, that's not
a thing we've ever done.

And secondly, I've gotta
be at the airport in an hour.

You're not buying duty-free
cigarettes and selling them on eBay, again?

- Dad said it's illegal.
- No, it's a work thing.

Some bullshit consultant is coming
over from the New York office

and they're making muggins
here go pick him up.

Cool! I love Americans.

No, it's not cool. They always
give me the shittiest jobs

just because I'm the youngest
and the least qualified.

I should be at the top of pile,

not having to babysit some
flag-crazy,

hotdog-guzzling, Yankee fuckwit.

- Holy shit! Is that Holly?
- Who?

That girl I used to be
ridiculously in love with.

You say that about basically
any girl who talks to you.

Holly was different.

She was like my summer girlfriend
at that circus camp

I went to when I was 14.

Wait, circus camp was a real thing?

I thought it was a euphemism Mum
made up for some sort of institute.

Hi. Uh, Holly?

Dan French?! No shit!
What are you doing here?

I live nearby, I just came for
some coffee with my sister.

Hey, tell her about our fling
at circus camp.

- She won't believe it happened.
- Oh, no, it totally happened.

Do you know, the last time I saw
you, you asked me to slow dance,

then got a boner.

Good times! So, what have you
been up to?

Oh, only went and got myself
bloody pregnant, didn't I?!

Sorry, just checking,
there's absolutely no chance

that's because of the
slow-dance boner is there?

Er, no.

So, fill me in, what've you
been up to for the past ten years?

- Did you see the second
Hunger Games film? - Yeah!

But apart from that, I spent the
last decade dossing about, really.

I had a bunch of lame
temp jobs after uni,

until one day, I was like,

"If don't get out of here soon,
I'm gonna morph

"into some half-human-half-temp,
bitch-monster."

So, I maxed out my overdraft

and booked a ticket to
Australia that night.

- Seriously?
- Dude, it was awesome.

I just bummed around the
outback for six months,

came back with a wicked suntan
and this little guy.

- The dad's still out in Australia.
- Who was he? Can I guess?

- Hugh Jackman.
- No. It was my bungee jump safety instructor.

Kind of ironic,
since he didn't use protection!

I mean, he wore his harness,
he just didn't wear a condom.

He wore his harness?

Anyway, I'm back now,
just trying to get by on my own.

Working here to save
a bit of cashola.

Well, Holly, I think you're gonna
make an awesome single mum.

Like JK Rowling, but even better.

Thanks, Dan!

I've missed you, man.

Listen, my shift ends in
a couple of hours,

why don't you stick around?

Help me clean the gunk
out of the espresso machine!

- Holly, I would help you clean
gunk out of anything. - Cool!

I'm gonna need today's newspapers,
yesterday's newspapers

and, if you can swing it,
tomorrow's newspapers.

Also, I knocked myself out
on the plane with some pretty heavy

sleeping pills, so I'm gonna need
just a paddling pool of coffee.

Oh, and get me some of that
Yorkshire pudding you guys have,

I can't get enough of that
fucking stuff.

- Read that back to me.
- You didn't tell me to take notes.

Well, I didn't tell
you to keep breathing either, but you managed it, right?

- What did you say your name was?
- Hannah.

- Are you Cher? Come on, Hannah what?
- Hannah French.

Your last name's French,
but you're English?

God, that's wild. I can tell you got
that kooky British sense of humour.

I mean, that wasn't really a joke.

Come on, French,
let's go grab a cab.

Actually, my car's over here.

Well, I'm jonzin'
for an old-school London cab,

so it looks like you'll be picking
up that car of yours in the morning.

Why am I eating this?

MUSIC PLAYS ON LAPTOP THEY GIGGLE

Hannah, come check this out!

We're watching a video
from circus camp.

It's me and Holly
in the big talent show.

- Oh, hi, Holly.
- Hi!

We did this crazy
double-act clown thing

to that Black Eyed Peas
song, "Where Is The Love?"

Yeah, we came last, but we did get
a prize for loudest performance.

Normally, I'd try
and make up an excuse,

but I've had the shittiest day
today, so I'm just gonna say no.

Why, what happened?

It's this American guy
that I'm looking after.

He's like the most demanding
douchebag in the world.

I'm basically his PA,

his chauffeur and his wet-nurse,
all rolled into one.

MOBILE RINGS

Oh, God, it's him.

Yes, George?

Oh, fine.

Yeah, I'll be there in a hour.

Now I have to go pick up
his dry-cleaning.

He's only been in the country
since this morning,

how the fuck does
he have dry-cleaning?!

Did he bring dirty
clothes on the plane?!

Dude, I should probably head too.

Sure. What about tomorrow,
you wanna hang out?

I could swing by the cafe again.

Actually, I've got this
antenatal yoga class.

I mean, it's really cringe, but I've
already paid for all the sessions.

I could come with you to that.

Really? It'd be so cool
to have someone else there!

I'll be honest, I kind of
underestimated how much prep stuff

goes into having a baby.

It's worse than cooking a roast.

I haven't even picked a name yet!

- I've always liked the name Vlad.
- Vlad?

Yeah, it'd be so good.
"I vant to suck your milk."

- Think about it.
- All right.

You're two minutes late, French.

What happened, did you stop off
and read Ulysses on the way?

There was a queue at
the dry-cleaners

and I had to go get those
Yorkshire puddings you wanted.

Oh!

Mmm! These little fuckers make
the jet-lag all worthwhile.

What do I owe you, French?

Will ?100 cover it?

You do realise they're just
milk, eggs and flour?

I can just put it on expenses.

Now, French, what can you tell me
about Josh Selby from marketing?

Oh, he's a dick.

He signed up for a marathon
and made us all sponsor him.

Then, he fainted after 22 miles
and got all pissy

when I said he didn't
deserve the money.

Ha! There it is. That kooky
British sense of humour.

- I love it!
- Why do you ask about Josh?

I'm about to make him redundant.

Him and 17 other lucky
individuals have won

the world's shittiest
lottery tickets.

Whoa. Are you really getting
rid of all these people?

That's what I do, French.
I'm a corporate downsizer.

Companies bring me in
when they're in trouble

and they need to thin the herd.

I'm the Caped Crusader
of redundancies, swooping in,

saving the day.

Shit. That is maybe the
coolest thing I've ever heard.

I know, right?

I guess that kind of makes you
my Boy Wonder.

- What do you mean?
- Well, I need you to sit in

during the meetings today,
take notes.

I get to watch? Sweet!

Could you send in Josh Selby?

I should warn you, some people

can find this stuff a
bit upsetting, so...

Is that popcorn?

I missed breakfast. It's not just
for the cinema any more, you know.

OK, now we're going to try some
guided breathing exercises,

so we're going to breathe in...
and then, breathe out.

Thanks for coming with me, dude.

I usually have to be paired up
with the instructor.

She's a nightmare.

I would've just been sat at home
watching bloopers on YouTube.

This is loads more fun.

Hey, check it out.

Hello, I'm a vagina!

Well, hello, vagina,
I'm a butthole.

- I think that's a vagina too?
- Is it?

Excuse me, those aren't toys.

- Sorry, Miss.
- My bad.

Thank you. Now, can we please focus?

THEY GIGGLE

Hey, come on,
better get into Frog's Pose.

OK, sure, how does it work?

Well, my support partner -
that's you - sits on the ball

and then, I just sit on top,
lean back...

and practice my pelvic tilts.
- Right.

- Those are some pretty good tilts.
- Thanks.

Oh, hey, Dan,

I don't know if this is just
the pregnancy hormones,

but I'm like absolutely ridiculously
turned on right now, are you?

I mean, I'm only 50% sure what
hormones are, but I guess I...

This isn't just the start of
an exciting new chapter

in your life,
it's the start of a whole new book.

Could you send in Terry Bell?

That was incredible!

For a second I almost forgot you
were taking away his livelihood.

- How do you do that?
- There's nothing to it.

You just give it to them straight,
tell them there's something better

out there,
even if we all know that's garbage.

Terry, Terry, Terry. Take a seat.

- My name's George and...
- I don't care what your name is.

I've heard the rumours.
Am I being fired?

Nobody's being fired.

The company's simply going
through a phase of restructuring

and, as of this moment,
you are surplus to requirements.

Unbelievable, 12 bloody years
I've worked here!

Now they're gonna toss me
out like an old microwave.

- I'm gonna sue.
- Oh, come off it, Terry.

Excuse me?

Well, I mean, how do you really
see this playing out?

They're not gonna
change their minds.

Besides, it's not like your life's
a fairytale now, anyway.

You're 58, do you really wanna
die at your desk,

cleaning crumbs
out of your keyboard?

Take the redundancy package
and go and live your life,

do up your garden, learn to cook,
go sailing with your wife.

I haven't got a wife.

Then, go get a wife! You can
finally do anything you want!

Except, you know, work here.

Come on, Terry, you know
she's right.

You're doing the right thing.

Wow, French, that was a tad harsh,
but... I'm impressed.

How do you feel?

Like someone just replaced all of
my blood with fucking jet fuel.

Can we get him back
so we can do it again?!

Dan, I had, literally, the best
day at work ever.

George is a genius.

Really? Yesterday you called
him a Big-Apple bellend.

That was before he let me watch him
fire a bunch of losers from the office.

It was incredible, like having
a front-row seat at an execution,

just waiting for that rope to drop.

- That doesn't really sound great.
- Trust me, it was amazing.

He's got to clear out like three
more branches this week

and since I'm his right-hand
man, I get to go with him!

What is all this stuff?

Oh, Holly's coming over in a bit
and I'm cooking her dinner.

Rice noodles, grapefruit, charcoal?
What the hell are you making her?

She's got loads of
pregnancy cravings.

Yesterday, she took a bite out
of a candle, it was adorable.

Wow, you're really going to
a lot of effort for an old flame.

Actually, I think me and Holly
might be going out again.

Dan, she's eight months pregnant
with someone else's baby.

That's like buying a
second-hand tongue ring.

You're asking for trouble.

Relax, Hannah, I've got it under
control.

Now, could you please
keep stirring this?

I've gotta go buy
some more mango shower gel.

Hi, I'm George Harper.
This is my associate, Hannah French.

There should be a conference room

and a plate of Yorkshire puddings
waiting for us.

Right this way, Mr Harper.

Look at these suckers, they've
no idea they're about to get

swept up in a tsunami
of unemployment.

Hey, French,
how would you like to take the lead on a couple of these meetings?

Really? I get to do some firing?

I saw you handle yourself yesterday,
you're a natural!

Wow, thanks! I promise
I won't let you down, George.

Shit, my heart's racing.

Is this what it's like to
actually care about your job?

Ben, Ben, Ben. Take a seat.

OK, finish this sentence.
You are being made...

- Breakfast?
- Close. Redundant.

Also, you've gotta leave
your company car,

but here is ?3.68 for the bus.

Hey, come on,
you'll find another job.

It'll probably just be at a worse
company, for less money.

Get out, get the hell out of here!

Thanks for coming in.

And, that's lunch.

And... stop.

Andrew. I like that.

Come on, that's so boring.

Look, I'll be honest with you,
I'm still a big fan of Vlad.

You really like the name Vlad?

All right, fine,
I'll add it to the list,

but only so you stop suggesting it.

I'm gonna go steal another glass
of your sister's fancy orange juice.

I was thinking maybe tomorrow
we could find a costume

for the baby's first Halloween.
It's never too early, right?

Fuck. Dan, will you get in here?

- Dude, I think my waters just broke!
- Shit. What do we do?

I don't know, this wasn't meant
to happen for another month!

Oh, my God. I am not ready to
have a fucking baby, Dan.

I don't have a hospital bag!
I haven't baby-proofed my flat!

I haven't even picked a name.
He's gonna be the baby with no name!

Holly, everything's gonna be fine,
OK? I'm right here.

I'm gonna get you
to that hospital,

even if I have to
track down an ambulance driver,

cut off his face,
assume his identity

and drive you there myself.

OK. Or maybe we
could just call for one instead?

Yeah, we can start with that.

After a day like that,
I feel I could fuck a whale.

Seriously, George, thank you
so much for the opportunity.

I've never had that much
fun in my whole life.

How did you get such a sweet job?

Let me show you something.

See that fat kid in the glasses,
the one crying on the left?

Oh, my God, is that you?!

No, that's the kid
I used to bully in junior high.

I keep a picture of him in my wallet
as a reminder to always stay on top.

There are two types of people
in this life,

winners and... I don't give
a fuck about the other guys.

- Ugh, what the hell?
- What's up?

I asked for no vegetables. I'll just
eat around them, it's OK.

Here's a life lesson, French. Never
accept anything that's just OK.

If you don't like something,
change it. By any means necessary.

Watch and learn. Excuse me?

- Is everything all right, sir?
- No, it is not.

My friend here asked for no
vegetables,

but for some reason
you chose to ignore that.

- I'm sorry, I'll fix that for you.
- You will.

You'll also give us
these meals free of charge

and a round of drinks,
by way of an apology.

Uh, I don't think I can do that.

Hey, let's play a little game.
It's called "What If?"

What if my friend here were
deathly allergic to vegetables

and thanks to your shoddy customer
service her life was at risk?

Wait, this game needs
four people to play.

I know, I'll call that big, fat,
fucking scary lawyer I keep on retainer and he can join us!

Or you could just go get us
those free drinks.

I don't know if this is possible,

but I think I might have
just had a non-sexual orgasm.

Doc, what's going on?

We've been waiting for ages.
It's not conjoined twins, is it?

No, the baby's fine.

In fact, it looks like this
was a false alarm.

I don't think you know how alarms
work because my waters broke.

Actually, that was urine.

- What?
- Sometimes at this stage in a pregnancy the baby

can shift positions
and squeeze the bladder,

causing you to have an accident.

Whoa-ho-ho, I like this baby
more every day!

He's not even been born yet
and he's already playing pranks.

Don't worry, it's quite common.

I'm going to write these up
and then we'll discharge you.

- Oh, God, I feel like such a twat.
- What, why?

Dude, it's like babies
are serious shit, you know?

They're like ten seconds
away from dying all the time.

How bad am I going to be at looking
after one when I can't even tell when I've pissed myself?

I don't know what I would've done
if you weren't there.

But I was there and I'm here now.

And unless something huge happens,
like a zombie uprising or

I get a day job, then
I promise I'll be there again.

You hear that, Baby?

I've got your back.

Mawnin', pardner.

Ready for another day's firings?

- Pew, pew, pew...
- Hannah, please take a seat.

We need to talk...

Why so serious, Georgie?

Wait, are going to fire me?!

What the fuck?!

You Americans have no
sense of loyalty.

You're turning your back on me
just like you did with Piers Morgan.

There's that kooky British humour.

Come on, French, I'm not firing you.
You're my guy, right?

I'm your guy?

Listen, a junior position has
opened at the New York office

and I think you have what it
takes to fill it.

Now, you'd have to start
immediately but...

you want it, it's all yours.
I know it's a big decision,

travelling across the globe,
so take some time... - I'm in!

You don't have to decide now.

I am definitely in.
Screw this country.

How about I buy us up a couple of
York-shire puddings to celebrate?

Fantastic! Oh, and, French...

what with all the redundancies
going on here,

might be best to be discreet
while we sort out the details.

WHISPERS: Oh, yeah, of course.

Excuse me, everybody?

Gather round. Everyone.

Hi, gather round.

So, I've worked here
for three years now,

but guess what, arseholes.

That ends today,

because Mama just got herself
a kick-ass job in NYC!

That's right, I am done
with this shithole.

I'd just like to say
a quick and final fuck you

to each and every one of you.

Fuck you. Fuck you.

Fuck you. Fuck you.

You're just a temp, but fuck you.

Fuck you. Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Fuck all of you.

Hannah, you're going to want to sit
down for this. I've got huge news.

I've got huge news too!
Let's say it at the same time.

- I'm going to propose to Holly!
- I'm moving to New York!

- What?
- What?

George offered me a job in New York
and I said yes.

- Did you say you're proposing to Holly?
- Yeah.

I'm going to do the honourable thing
and ask her to marry me.

Dan, aren't you forgetting
something?

It's not your baby.

Yeah, Holly's like the coolest
girl in the world, Hannah.

I mean, I'd probably want to marry
her even if she wasn't pregnant.

The fact that she is pregnant
is just a bonus.

She's like a Kinder Egg - the
chocolate on the outside is great

and there's an awesome
little toy inside.

Well, good luck, I guess?

I hope I can make it
back for the wedding.

Are you really going to New York?

Yeah, my flight's, literally,
booked for the end of this week.

I can't wait to get out there,
it's going to be so cool.

I'm just going to be eating bagels
and fucking Jewish guys.

Look at us. I'm getting married,
you're leaving the country - we're all grown-up.

Yeah... I guess we are.

Oh...

Right, I'm going to go try
and find my lucky X-Men pants,

so I have them for the proposal.

Cool, I'm going to go practice
my New York accent.

Hey, for-ged-about-it.

Soon-Yi, what's for breakfast?

This is incredible.

I've never been in business class.

Wow! They do an in-flight colonic.

Get used to it, French,
your new life starts now.

Champagne, Madam?

Oh, I don't mind if I do.
Keep these coming, cupcake.

Here you go, George.

Oh, no, I'm set, thanks.
I've got these little babies.

- What are they?
- Military-grade sleeping pills.

They're banned by the US Government,
but I know a guy that works there.

I can't say who, but let's just say
he was the first black president.

Wow...

See you on the other side, French.

You've made it, French.

Hi, you don't know me, sir,
but my name is Dan French

and I am in love with your daughter.

I don't have a job
and I was briefly in prison,

but I really care about Holly.

And I promise
to take awesome care of her

and the baby, which is why I've come
to ask you for her hand in marriage.

What do you say...

Dad?

I don't have a daughter.

What? Wait, aren't
you Holly Freeman's dad?

You want Malcolm Freeman,
fifth floor.

Oh, fuck.

Erm, look I'm on a bit of a tight
schedule with this proposal stuff.

I don't have time to make
that whole speech again.

If you see him could you tell him
I'm marrying his daughter? Cheers.

Thank you.

That's it.

What's going on?

I'm just moving them in here. They
had a small issue with his seat.

- What was the issue?
- He was sick on it.

By all means, stick him in here and
let him see what it's like to throw up in more expensive seats.

These were the only seats together.
I'm sure you can understand.

Ugh, whatever.

Could I get a refill
on my champagne?

My hands are a little bit
full just now,

but I'll get to you as soon
as I get a chance.

- Here we go.
- Thank you.

RESPONDS TO GAME: Yes!

I'm so hungry.

Do you know, I might just order
one of everything.

How about you? Dan?

Oh, yeah, it is pretty hot.

Are you OK, Dan?
You've been acting weird all night.

What?! I haven't been acting weird.

Excuse me, could we get two glasses
of the secret, special wine, please?

Yeah.

What's the secret special wine?

You do know I can't drink, right?

- Don't worry, it's not really wine.
- What is it, then?

Bum, bum, bum, bum.

Bum, bum, bum, bum.

Bum, bum, bum.

Bum, bum, bum, bum.

Bum, bum, bum.

Bum, bum, bum.

SHE CHUCKLES

Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

Holly Freeman, I've been in love
with you since the first time

we did each other's clown make-up
in circus camp, all those years ago.

I let you slip away once,
but I am not going to make that mistake again.

You are sweet
and funny and amazing

and I want to spend the rest
of my life with you

and that tiny little fella
growing inside of you.

So...

Holly, will you marry me?

Oh, Dan, I'm so sorry.

SINGING STOPS

This isn't going to affect
our Yelp review, is it?

GAME PLAYS LOUDLY

BUZZER SOUNDS

What is it, Ma'am? I can't give you
any more free slippers.

No, it's that kid.

He's making a racket
and his mum's clearly checked out,

so could you, please,
take care of him?

There's not a lot I can do,
they paid for their seats.

Technically, they didn't
pay for them.

They were in economy and they
managed to fuck that up.

Look, I don't want to be dick, but
I have a fast-paced, high-pressure

job and I kind of expect a certain
level of service to go with it.

Ma'am, I've got a lot to be
getting on with.

If you have a problem with the
noise, I suggest you use

the complimentary
earplugs provided.

SHE SIGHS

Hey, you, what've you got there?

- A game.
- Cool.

Do you want to maybe
play a different game?

It's called, "What If?"

- What if you ate this sweetie?
- I don't want to.

I'll go first, ready?

Mmm, so fun.

OK, now it's your turn!

Just eat, eat it.

- No.
- Just eat it.

CHILD PROTESTS

Eat, eat...

- What are you doing, Ma'am?
- Er...

Hi.

DOOR BUZZER

Holly!

Come in...

Can we talk?

Maybe in private...

Guys, can you give us a sec?

ALL GROAN

Listen, dude, I'm sorry I ditched
you back there, but what the fuck?

Why did you ask me to marry you?

I thought it was
the right thing to do!

We get on so great and I thought
I could help you with the baby.

I mean, you don't
want him to be born a...

WHISPERS: ..bastard.

That means a lot, dude,

but we don't need to be married for
you to give me a hand with stuff.

Really?

Besides, you're the one
that gave him his name.

Shit, you're going
to call him Vlad?!

Middle name. I was thinking...

Andrew Vlad Freeman.

Andrew Vlad Freeman?
That's a fucking sweet name.

Yeah, well, he's going to be
a shit-hot baby.

Hey, do you want the clowns to come
back and sing something?

- They're still on the clock
for 30 minutes. - Yeah.

Do you think they know any Elbow?

- George!
- OK, French, they're accusing you of some pretty heavy shit.

If this is one of your kooky British
jokes, then I don't get it.

This isn't a joke. None of the
things I've said have been jokes.

Then, why in God's name did
you have a Chernobyl-sized meltdown?

I was being assertive.

It's like you said,
never settle for just OK.

I didn't mean drug a toddler!

See! There's still so much for me
to learn from you.

Yeah, about that. I think
we're going to have to put this whole job offer on ice.

- Indefinitely.
- What? Come on, I'm your guy.

There's plenty of guys out there.

It's been nice knowing you, French.

George! George!

Can you at least
get me another champagne?

- Hey, sis. How was your trip?
- Trip?

Dan, I was moving to America
for good.

How did you miss that?

SHE SIGHS

- Anyway, it's not happening any more.
- What, how come?

There was a minor incident on the
plane, involving a toddler and some prescription pills.

Long story short, they're agreeing
to drop the charges,

but I'm not allowed
on US soil any more.

Well, if it makes you feel better,
my big plans fell through too.

Me and Holly aren't getting
married any more.

- Well, that's probably for the best.
- Yeah.

We talked about it and we decided
we should just be friends

and I'd help out with baby stuff
every now and again.

We're actually going to test drive
some prams tomorrow,

race them around and stuff -
fancy joining?

No, I'm going to go into the
office and try to get my job back.

I've got to admit, I kind of wish
I hadn't told them all to fuck off,

or spray-painted it
onto the building.

Well, I hope they take you back,

because I really need to
borrow some money.

I owe a bunch of clowns
like two grand.

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