Original subtitles

I know a thing or two about wayward children.

Has he replied to any of your e-mails yet?

No. I keep getting everything third-hand.

(man): Are you OK?

You mean,

am I thinking about Al?

- No. - Aww...

Al?

S02E04 Forever Jung

sync and corrected by ninh www.addic7ed.com

(ringing)

Hello?

(cell ringing)

Oh!

I can hear you. Hello?

Is it... Is it you, sweetheart?

Don't hang up. I don't know how this works.

Where are you? What's it like there?

I got your letter. (dial tone)

(dial tone)

(dial tone) Oh...

Oh, come on.

Ooooooh spell

Oooooh spell

- I put a spell on you - Ooooh spell

Ooooh spell

Because

You're mine! - Ooooh spell

- (man): It's a glitch. - It's not a glitch.

They come at all hours, completely random.

Well, it's robot telemarketers.

There's a person on the other end.

I can hear him. I can hear him...

thinking about talking to me.

(soft classical music playing)

Should I be worried about you?

Why?

You are jumping

to the most irrational, unlikely conclusion

about these calls, rather than the most rational,

- likely conclusion. - Oh, oh, which is

- robots? - No, that your husband

is calling you from beyond the grave.

- I didn't say that exactly. - You said,

- "I think this must be Al." - I didn't say "think,"

I said "feel." I feel like it's Al

calling me from beyond the grave.

I-I know how it sounds. Just, just look.

Look at that number.

That's not a real number.

All those zeros. That's...

that's a weird, otherworldly number.

I, uh...

I-I have to tell you something.

I... I started having these memories of Al.

But they're not like regular memories,

they're... they're like memories

of things that never happened.

These are VolP calls.

- "VolP"? - VolP, VolP.

- Why do you keep saying VolP? - Calls made from a computer,

like Skype or Facetime.

- Why would a computer call me?! - Davina, think.

Somebody is calling you from a computer; who does that?

Uhhh... robot telemarket...

Young people! A young person.

But why would a young person call me and not say anything?

Oh...

(cell phone ringing)

Orlando? So why haven't you called?

I mean, why didn't you speak when you called?

You kind of freaked me out when you talked to me

- like I was Dad. - Well, that's understandable.

I had to pray on him.

Pray? Oh!

You're... you're praying now?

- Hm-hmm. - Uh, to...?

To God. I'm praying to God.

- The Christian God? - That's the one.

That's really good. That's very straightforward.

You know, it's gonna sound super clich?, but

while I was at this lumberjack bar up in Thunder Bay...

- "Lumberjack bar"? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it was karaoke night. And at this point,

I had been drinking like five or six... days,

and I was going through the song list,

- and you know what song came up? - No.

- Snowbird. - Oh, honey!

Yeah. I hate that fucking song.

But something compelled me to sing it.

So I fill my lungs, and I belt it out.

And then, I sing it again.

And I'm feeling really good

for the first time in months.

I mean, I'm telling stories about Dad,

- I'm freestyling... - You freestyled about Al?

Oh, honey, he would have liked that so much.

Suddenly, the manager comes up, and he's got

this huge bouncer with him. His name is Ku Klux Kenny

or something like that. Enormous guy. And he just

levels me, knocks me out. I'm on the ground, I'm bleeding.

Then I heard him say, "OK, Kenny,

now I want you to really hit him."

So when does God show up and put an end to all of this?

Right there. Because standing over me was this...

angel. I mean...

It's the only word to describe her.

She gets me sober, introduced me to friends at her church

and, uh...

Her name is Cheryl.

Cheryl?

So tell me more about Cheryl the angel.

- We're in love. - Oh, honey,

that's so wonderful!

Is she here with you now, in Toronto?

- Yeah. - So where are you staying?

This communal living space the church has in Riverdale.

I have a spare room. It would be perfect for you.

That wouldn't be weird or anything?

- Why would it be weird? - Well, we do have sex.

- Well, that's natural. - Like, a lot of sex.

I'm looking forward to it.

So, he's a cultist now.

A born-again Christian. So what?

All I know is that he's back.

If God had anything to do with that, then thank God.

God had nothing to do with it;

it was beer and a little too much Anne Murray.

Haven't you ever felt that the universe was nudging you

- in a certain direction? - No.

I never felt nudged.

I'm telling you, Davina,

you've got to stop wasting your time

looking for something that isn't there.

- You mean meaning? - Yes, because there isn't any.

- Oh, because it's all chaos? - And meaningless coincidence.

Oh, that's so bleak.

Is it?

Look, you spend your whole life looking for magic,

- you miss the important things. - Hmm... "the important things."

The real things that are right in front of your nose.

Come here a sec.

- Why? - Just put down the vaginas

and come here a sec.

What was that? What, what just happened?

I've been thinking, you know, you're...

you're here...

in front of my nose, and we're both single.

Neither of us are gorgons necessarily, and...

you're my best friend.

The keyword in that sentence is "friend."

Oh...

OK.

Sorry.

No, I... I could be wrong.

(smooth jazz music)

(smooth jazz music)

(boy laughing)

(echo of boy laughing)

(sigh)

Remember Orlando at that age?

He had that exact same Big Wheel.

I don't think he ever got off it

between the ages of 3 and 5.

(Davina chuckling) (Davina): So much energy.

What was that... back there with Sam anyway?

What?

You didn't think I'd find out? The dead see all.

- What's happening? - I'm not angry, dearest, I'm...

I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. I'm just worried.

Is it prudent to take

a relationship that fits perfectly well

in the friendship hole and jam it into the lover hole?

So to speak.

- I'm going insane. - No, no.

You're just not thinking clearly. It's... Darling!

(boat horn blowing) (people chattering)

- Haha! There she is. - There she is...

Hello!

Hahaha!

(Orlando): We're here! I can't believe

you live on the island. This is nuts!

- It's been so amazing. - (Orlando): Yeah? How are you?

- (Davina): Good. - (Orlando): You look beautiful.

- (Davina): Oh, thanks. - (woman): Hello.

Oh, hi. Um, I'm Orlando's mom,

Davina Jackson. And you must be Mrs...?

Oh no. I haven't been "missus" since my divorce.

Oh, I'm recently widowed myself.

Oh, yes, Orlando told me. My condolences.

The guilt must be terrible.

Yes. Haha!

Well, I'm dying to meet your daughter.

Is she coming on a later ferry?

- My daughter? - Ohhh, boy. Mom, uhhh...

Hahaha!

- Ahem! - Oh...

Hahaha!

- Cheryl! - This is Cheryl.

My angel, my lover...

my saviour. (Cheryl laughing)

Don't be embarrassed,

but it's funny that you thought I was the mother

and not the girlfriend. (Orlando and Cheryl laughing)

It is, isn't it? Haha. It's hilarious!

(all laughing) Yes, very...

Mom, you're weirded out by this.

Nooo!

We try to live in truth.

OK, I'm a little weirded out, yes.

Davina... you should know that, that I was reluctant

to take you up on your kind offer.

But then Orlando and I did a great deal of talking

and praying, and ultimately we realized

that the Spirit had given us

this, this valuable opportunity for you and Orlando

to deal with all the things that you didn't.

That I did?

The bad things that happened... recently...

that you did.

- I hope this doesn't upset you. - Living in truth, Mom.

- Yeah. - OK, "living in truth."

Let's get this party started.

(door chime) Behold the glittering irony.

I had an affair with a man my son's age,

and then my husband had a heart attack and died;

and now, my son is having an affair

with a woman my age, and...

No, that's Alanis irony. That's non-irony.

Orlando and Mom 2.0

are just two lost souls who came crashing together

- in a lumberjack bar. - Let's change the subject.

Um, dinner?

- What about it? - Tomorrow night at your place.

- My place has Christians. - Are we really doing this?

- You do want to do this? - Oh yeah, yeah. No, I do.

- Good. - Good.

(together): Good.

(thumping) (Orlando): Oh, God!

Sorry. (Orlando and Cheryl moaning)

Oh, Christ!

- (Al): Wow. - (Orlando): Oh yes!

This God thing's 24-7, huh?

Guess it's not like a picture of Grandma;

you can't turn it to face the wall.

It's incorporated, sacred meet profane.

Please...

I'm not the one keeping you awake, darling;

I'm the one keeping you company.

(Orlando and Cheryl moaning and groaning)

Darling? Darling?

Darling, can we talk about this thing with Sam?

Oh!

- Sweetheart. - (Orlando): Oh, Christ!

- Oh... - (Cheryl): Aaaah!

Do you think the Vikings went,

"Oh! Oh! Odin!"?

- Do you think so? - (Orlando): Oh, God!

Darling?

- Oh! - (Orlando): Oh, Christ!

(sighing)

- Oh... - I had such an amazing sleep!

- Oh, yeah? - Thank you for letting us

- stay here. - It's a pleasure.

- Uh, you want some coffee? - Yes, definitely.

Actually,

I'm glad we have a minute to talk before Cheryl gets up

'cause, uh...

I think I owe you an apology.

Oh, it's fine.

I put my earplugs in, and then I slept on the couch.

Oh, no. Oh, yikes!

- Oh, God! - Oh, maybe

don't say, "Oh, God" a lot this morning.

- OK, sweetie? - Yeah, right. Copy that.

Sorry, but, uh...

I also wanted to say I'm sorry...

that I disappeared on you.

And I wanted to tell you that...

I no longer blame you for Dad's death.

(Davina sighs.)

I can't tell you how much that means to me...

to hear you say that, Orlando.

I have to tell you

that this has been a really difficult time for me, too.

I know. But the...

the truth is Cheryl's having

a bit of a hard time forgiving you.

Cheryl? Why the hell

would Cheryl have a hard time forgiving me?!

I was a bit of a mess when she found me.

I guess she kind of blames you for that.

Jesus Christ!

- Mom, just... - No, dodo,

- Jesus Christ seriously! - OK, OK, OK. OK.

Maybe she's not being honest with herself about where her anger's

coming from. She thinks it's coming from you.

I get the sense there's something else going on.

- Oh, oh, you think? - Just please,

be patient with her.

Give her a chance, OK? She's a really beautiful person

- when you get to know her. - Honey, could you just, um...

cinch up that robe for me?

(mumbled prayer)

Please lift him up...

in the palm of your hands.

- Amen. Gonna be wonderful. - Thank you.

(bell ringing)

(boat horn blowing)

- Be wonderful. - I will!

- Bye! - Haha!

(laughing): Bye!

Cheryl!

- Where's he going? - Thank you. Job interview.

Oh, what kind of job?

Giving out drivers' licences.

Oh... Oh. Not teaching?

No. Testing eyes and things.

- Oh, well, he'll be a shoo-in. - Well...

he's not a very confident person.

Ah, you have been so good for him, Cheryl.

Thank you. I try. He's been through a lot.

My bad behaviour?

- No. - Yes.

Don't blame yourself. You can't be responsible

for how Orlando reacted to your...

Indiscretion?

I was gonna say betrayal. But that's just how I see it

because of my belief system.

And I know "betrayal" is a harsh word,

- and that's why I didn't use it. - Thanks.

I mean, you don't really have a true understanding of sin.

Because of your lack of faith, I mean.

- Right. - Yeah.

Well, uh, I've made some mistakes recently,

and those mistakes may have taken a toll on him,

it's true, but Orlando had a wonderful childhood.

He had two loving parents.

He has a solid base of happiness.

I've upset you. I'm-I'm sorry.

No, no, no, that's OK.

I'm sure his childhood was largely wonderful.

- "Largely"? - Well, you know,

I mean, there were disappointments obviously.

He talks about his 7th birthday all the time.

What was it about his 7th birthday?

He wanted to see Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves,

but you took him to Curly Sue.

He... he talks about that a lot?

Well, you know kids.

He was too young for Robin Hood!

Not to be politically incorrect,

but Curly Sue is a girls' movie.

He wanted Kevin Costner, merry men, bows and arrows,

and you took him to a theatre full of shrieking little girls.

It was hard on his nascent manhood.

Jim Belushi was in Curly Sue!

- Did he happen to mention that? - No.

Hmm!

(whispering): Jim Belushi.

(Davina): Is passive- aggressiveness a Christian thing?

Yes, it's in the Bible. Thou shalt sweeten

- thy bile with pleasantries. - Really?

- It says that? - Come on!

She's so full of shit with her living-in-truth crap.

It's like a cosmic permission slip

to be an asshole. (classical music playing)

- Oh... - Felt it was my turn.

Hey, would you like to, uh...

Yeah.

But Jim Belushi was in Curly Sue.

- That's what I said! - Hey,

- does Cheryl have a son? - Uh, I don't know.

- She never mentioned one. - Ohhh...

it would make so much sense. This whole Oedipal shit show.

It's reverse Oedipus. She's trying to get her son back.

- Ewww! - People do crazy things.

When my wife left me,

my son went off the rails. He disappeared for 5 years.

I thought about him every day.

Ohhh... Sam!

Davina, you feel guilty,

but at least your son came back to you.

(Davina sighs.) (Sam sighs.)

(relaxing lounge music)

I couldn't feel you

This is a big step you're making, sweetheart,

and you're high, really high.

You just knocked over the bong.

Hmm, I just knocked over the bong.

- Did I spill any? - Oh, it's OK.

Should we...

- move on to the couch? - Ah... no.

No... This is... this is fine.

You don't even really know if you have his consent.

I mean, I wouldn't want to take this to a court.

- Davina... - What? Oh, do I not have your consent?

What?! No. No, you do. It's... I have, uh...

sciatica. Uh, can we...?

Let's go to the bedroom.

Uh... OK. Well, uh...

I-I don't think I can sign off on this. Uh...

- Hmmm! - Do you remember

when I was telling you that I was having

memories of Al? Really, really vivid memories?

- Is he Facetiming you again? - No, no. I'm being serious.

Has he started an Instagram account?

No, it's gone beyond memories.

I've been seeing him.

Seeing him? Where?

- Uh, places. - Places?

Different places.

Is he... is he here now?

- Might be. - He might be meaning...

there's someone here but you don't know it's Al or...

you're afraid to admit to me that Al is here

because you know it will freak me the hell out?

The last thing.

- Ohh! - No, no, no, no, no!

- Ah! - No, no, it's fine, it's fine.

Forget I said anything. It's fine.

It's... fine.

Oh...

Oh.

At least use a condom.

I mean... I mean, I know pregnancy's unlikely,

but who knows where the penis has been, right?

- Oh, Christ, Al! - Oh, Davina, OK.

- Ah... - I'll be honest with you.

I had my doubts about this whole thing we're doing,

but I thought, "Well, you know, you're an attractive woman,

and I'm a man."

But nothing kills an erection faster

than a woman talking to her dead husband.

- He's right. - S-s-sorry.

- Sorry? - Well, what can I say?!

How about, "I'm not insane"

This is unusual. It's unusual for me to talk to the dead."

Look, it is!

Well, it's late, and you two both have to work tomorrow;

how about we call it a night, huh?

Ah!

(indistinct TV program)

(Orlando): You can't just root around in people's things, Mom.

(Davina): Did you know about him?

Yeah. I saw it once before.

She was crying over it. This is the bug

that has been up Cheryl's ass since she got here.

Mom!

This is why the Spirit brought you back to me.

I'm the only one who can help Cheryl,

and I figured it out. So now,

we need to help her get her son back.

Well...

when I was in Thunder Bay, I did find some postcards.

They had a Toronto address.

(rock music) When I look into your eyes

When I look into your eyes

- Uh... - Can't see anything left

- Oh, hi. - Fuck off, religious freak.

- How did you know that I was... - I'm so sick of you fucking Mormons!

We get high with you guys one time!

No, he's not a Mormon. There's two when there's Mormons.

Yeah, no, I'm not...

I'm looking for a gentleman by the name of Ref.

- Yeah. - You're Ref?

Great. Uh...

my name is Orlando, and, uh...

I'd like to invite you to dinner.

Just you though.

It is going to be a disaster.

Davina: Not necessarily.

You can't just spring her long-lost kid on her;

it will be like watching a mugging.

Orlando says that we should

let the Spirit do its thing.

Yeah. Whose spirit? The Marquis de Sade's?

OK, it will be painful,

but everything is painful with Cheryl.

Maybe the catharsis will help her.

Yeah, oh, it's the right kind of pain?

Like when a broken jaw

doesn't heal right, you have to break it all over again.

I can't shake the feeling that everything has been

leading up to this moment.

- He probably won't even show. - Oh-oh, he'll show.

Why don't you come tonight and see for yourself?

(beep)

If you're right, you can gloat

and if you're wrong, ha, you can shut the hell up.

It won't be weird to have some rando there

ducking plates with everyone else?

You're not some rando; you are the man that I am dating.

Am I?

Yes! Aren't you?

I am. I guess.

Good. Bring salad.

(soul music)

- (Cheryl): No! - Mom, you have to take it.

(dish shattering) Take your fucking

hors d'oeuvres amd leave me alone! Shoot!

If there's a problem in our home

Um...

Your head!

Oh, holy cow! You gotta sit down, sit down,

sit down. Sit down over here. Uh, your mother,

- she's a very passionate woman. - You said she was a Christian.

Christians are just like us, Ref, this much I've learned.

Amen. (cell phone ringing)

Where are you? You're missing the train wreck.

Oh, hey, Davina, I'm here.

- I've been here a while. - What are you doing?

Come in and gloat.

- Oh, I was right, huh? - Plates are literally flying.

- Well... - So what? Come in.

This is weird.

Oh, hey. Uh...

I don't think I can do that.

- What? - Not with the relationship

as it is currently. That is, as you currently define it.

What the hell are you talking about?

This thing we're doing, this dating thing,

it's, it's never felt right

for me, Davina.

Because I talked to my dead husband. That was one time.

No, before that. Uh...

All of this drama

with Orlando and Cheryl...

it's got me thinking about my ex

and all the things in my life

that are unresolved. And the only

thing that has been really solid

up until now...

is our friendship.

I get it.

So I can't come in as the guy that you're dating.

Can you come in

as the friend who brought salad?

Yes. I'm-I'm comfortable with that.

We may have misunderstanding sometimes

But baby, I'm yours, and I know you're mine

Ooh yeah

Oh, William!

Oh, William.

Sorry.

I am so sorry, darling. (Cheryl crying)

It's OK, it's OK, it's OK.

It's been a long time since we fought.

- Oh, I'm sorry. - It's OK.

(door closing) Hi.

Just a friend with salad.

Cherry?

- Sam? - Dad.

Ref?

Just keep it in the family, baby

But it's a family affair

Keep it in the family

And we can work it out, baby

Oh, it's a family affair

We won't seek no help from strangers

Keep it in the family

'Cause that would add to the problem

That would add, that would add to the problem

Hmm. Keep it in the family

Keep it in the family

Woo woo

Just keep it in the family, baby

sync and corrected by ninh www.addic7ed.com

AAAAAH Ah

We gotta put faith where there's been doubt

Ooh

'Cause faith and trust is what's love about

Ooh wee

Life ain't always a bed of roses

Where sweet fragrance fills the air

Ooh

But it's a family affair, baby

Keep it in the family

And we can work it out, baby

Oh, it's a family affair

We don't need no help from strangers

Keep it in the family

'Cause that would keep our love in danger

Oooh ooh

It's a family affair, baby

Keep it in the family

And we can work it out

Oh, it's a family affair

Ooh! Keep it in the family, baby

- Keep it in the family - Keep it in the family

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