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1
00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:08,807
Hey.
2
00:00:08,808 --> 00:00:09,942
I know you thought
your allowance
3
00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:11,310
Wasn't gonna get us
through this month,
4
00:00:11,311 --> 00:00:14,279
But I brought dinner.
5
00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:17,816
It's amazing how well you
can eat off loose change.
6
00:00:17,817 --> 00:00:20,552
Wow. Ding dongs
and ho ho's.
7
00:00:20,553 --> 00:00:24,123
We'd better use
the floral toilet paper tonight for napkins.
8
00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:29,228
I'm sorry. The "steak"
button was stuck.
9
00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:31,363
I'm just in a really
crappy mood right now.
10
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:34,133
I just talked to my mom and
I had to lie to her again.
11
00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:35,901
I'm getting so sick of it.
12
00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:39,338
I know what you're saying.
You don't want me here.
13
00:00:39,339 --> 00:00:42,574
Yes, David, that's exactly
what i'm saying, word for word.
14
00:00:42,575 --> 00:00:44,209
Thank you for listening.
15
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,912
You don't act like
you want me here.
16
00:00:46,913 --> 00:00:48,313
You're always
in a bad mood,
17
00:00:48,314 --> 00:00:50,115
I'm beginning to feel
like i'm in the way.
18
00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:51,617
You're not in the way,
all right?
19
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:53,819
I couldn't possibly be more
thrilled that you're here
20
00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:55,754
All day long, no matter
what time it is
21
00:00:55,755 --> 00:00:58,290
Doing absolutely nothing.
I love that.
22
00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:03,796
You know, I get
in bad moods, too, but I hold back.
23
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:05,798
This is me holding back.
If I wasn't holding back,
24
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:09,068
The better part of your
face would be under my fingernails by now.
25
00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:13,272
You know, the only reason
that I don't do anything
26
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:15,574
Is because you're never
around to do it with.
27
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,109
Oh, i'm sorry I have
a life, David.
28
00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:18,377
I'm sorry I have friends.
29
00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:20,646
I'm sorry i'm not a pathetic
zombie like you are.
30
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:23,115
I do not accept
your apology.
31
00:01:24,684 --> 00:01:26,852
This whole living together
thing just sucks.
32
00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:29,588
I'm not eating that garbage
another night. I'm going out.
33
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:32,157
Fine. Go!
34
00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:34,059
Just let me get
my jacket first.
35
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:55,941
[loud heavy metal]
36
00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:57,943
[knock on door]
37
00:02:57,944 --> 00:02:59,778
Excuse me.
38
00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:04,383
Hey! Excuse me!
39
00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:05,684
Is Mark here?
40
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:07,219
He's taking a nap.
41
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:10,189
[stereo off]
42
00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:26,005
Quadraphonic reel-to-reel.
43
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:28,040
What kind of system
do you have now?
44
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,075
Clock radio.
45
00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:32,945
It's a nice one.
Got two alarms.
46
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,814
So how's Mark been doing
the last couple of days?
47
00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:37,549
Why? What happened?
48
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,485
He left his wife.
49
00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:42,254
Oh, that's probably
why he moved in here.
50
00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:46,825
My guess is you and Mark
used to study together.
51
00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,928
Mark left his wife?
52
00:03:49,929 --> 00:03:53,599
That's gotta--
I don't know--suck.
53
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,835
Well they've been
together quite a while
54
00:03:56,836 --> 00:04:00,205
And I can't imagine him
being too happy living here.
55
00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:03,575
Whoa...
56
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,310
Great tv.
57
00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:10,416
I didn't know
there was a game on.
58
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:13,519
I got a satellite dish.
There's always a game on.
59
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,287
Oh, man.
60
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:20,059
So you think Mark's in
a lot of pain or something?
61
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,428
Well, the man hasn't
seen his wife in two days,
62
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,063
My guess is,
he's going through hell.
63
00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:30,869
You've got a refrigerator
in the living room?
64
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:35,441
That's brilliant.
65
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:36,942
You want something?
66
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,344
Can I get it myself?
67
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,852
Hey.
Hey.
68
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,454
What are you doing here?
69
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:51,557
Uh, I thought we should
talk about Becky.
70
00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:52,758
Uh, forget it.
71
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,561
Look, Mark, I know these
problems seem huge at first,
72
00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:58,464
But if you just call her...
73
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,232
I mean, Roseanne and I have
had plenty of fights.
74
00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:05,371
I remember this one fight
we had when I wanted the satellite dish.
75
00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:08,707
We said everything already.
76
00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:10,743
Not good enough.
77
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,011
My daughter's
hurtin' here.
78
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,879
Did she send you down
to talk to me?
79
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,715
No, this is my idea.
80
00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:18,183
I got nothing
to say to her.
81
00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:20,486
Come on, Mark.
Forget the pride thing.
82
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,021
Just come home
and see Becky.
83
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:25,057
Becky doesn't wanna see me, Dan.
I flunked out of trade school.
84
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,893
She's not thinking
about that right now.
85
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:30,896
She's been miserable for
the last two days without you.
86
00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:32,331
No, she hasn't.
87
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:36,568
She's hurtin' every bit
as bad as you are.
88
00:05:36,569 --> 00:05:39,004
Two remotes?
89
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,639
Cool.
90
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,641
Look, i'm not
coming back, Dan.
91
00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:45,144
Besides, I know Mrs. Conner's
real glad that i'm gone.
92
00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:47,312
She's probably waiting with
a shotgun in case I come back.
93
00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:49,448
Mark, please,
that thing isn't loaded.
94
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,551
Sorry.
95
00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:57,022
Oh, man.
96
00:05:58,491 --> 00:06:01,660
I can't go back
and tell my wife I failed.
97
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:10,469
Wanna order a pizza?
98
00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:12,438
Number 3
on the speed dial.
99
00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:16,175
Excellent!
100
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:25,084
So. Did anybody call?
101
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,586
No, Roseanne.
Mark hasn't called.
102
00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:30,723
See, that just proves
what a jerk he is.
103
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,591
He's been gone
for three whole days
104
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:34,393
And he doesn't even
call her to apologize.
105
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,794
Come on, Roseanne.
106
00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:38,230
That kind of thing isn't
easy for a guy like Mark.
107
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,766
He could get somebody
to dial the phone for him.
108
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:45,504
Hi, dad.
Hey, Beck.
109
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:46,872
So, Becky, do you
want some donuts?
110
00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:48,607
I got tons of 'em.
111
00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:51,944
This car hit the bloodmobile
and there were donuts everywhere...
112
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,280
It was just awful.
I got all kinds here.
113
00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:57,483
I got the chocolate
twisty kind,
114
00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:59,852
Lemon squirty kind, and
the ones that look like feet.
115
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,420
No.
116
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,123
I got half a plain
one over here.
117
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:08,460
Okay. Thanks, dad.
Cheer up, honey.
118
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,535
You suck!
119
00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:19,271
What?
120
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:23,676
Using my own damn
donuts against me.
121
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:25,444
What am I
supposed to do?
122
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,613
She's hurtin' because
her husband's gone.
123
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,348
If you really want
to be a good dad,
124
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:31,750
Why don't you tell her
how lucky she is that that creep walked out on her now
125
00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:34,086
Instead of years from now
when she has a ton of his creepy little kids.
126
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,554
I don't want
to be a good dad.
127
00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:36,755
I wanna be a popular dad.
128
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:39,925
Hi, guys.
129
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:41,660
Is Roseanne doing
any better?
130
00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:42,928
A little.
131
00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:45,898
She's out of her coma now
and can understand words.
132
00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:49,702
Yeah, she's doing
a little better.
133
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:52,671
I'm fine. It's Dan the one
that should feel lousy.
134
00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:53,839
It's all his fault.
135
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,441
How is this my fault!
136
00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:59,111
Ha! Because Mark
is a butthead
137
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:02,981
And girls always
marry their fathers.
138
00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:06,785
You know,
from talking to Mark,
139
00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:08,620
It didn't sound
like it was my fault.
140
00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:11,323
He's afraid to come
home because of you.
141
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:15,861
Me? Did you tell him
how stupid that was?
142
00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:16,995
Did you defend me?
143
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,964
I was there to listen.
144
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,601
I think Mark has a point.
You weren't very nice to him.
145
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:24,403
What are you talking about?
I was a total saint.
146
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:26,839
You made constant fun
of him, called him names,
147
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,807
Put him down,
hid his keys.
148
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:31,610
Once I hid his keys
and that was a joke.
149
00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:33,579
He never found 'em!
150
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:35,948
Well, you laughed.
151
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:39,218
I'm trying
to be the bad guy.
152
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,220
You're not the bad guy.
She's not mad at you,
153
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,421
She's just mad
at the world.
154
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:44,690
How come she only
takes it out on me, then?
155
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:48,694
Why doesn't she go get
a job at the post office?
156
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:51,764
Hey, Jackie.
Hi, Beck.
157
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:55,334
Becky, you really should
eat more than half a donut.
158
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:57,002
I'm fine, mother.
159
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,072
A lot of good
ones in here.
160
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:04,677
Thanks, Jackie.
161
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:09,815
I don't care what the two
of you say, I don't think
162
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:11,884
She's acting like
a great big spoiled brat.
163
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:19,658
[raspberry]
164
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,661
[raspberry]
165
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:31,403
[knock on door]
166
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,338
Come in.
167
00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:37,943
Um, i'm looking
for Mark healy.
168
00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:40,879
He's out. He'll be
back in a minute.
169
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:44,049
Oh, okay.
Well, um...
170
00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:47,252
I'm Roseanne,
Dan's wife.
171
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:50,956
I think he was over here
to play earlier. Sure.
172
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:54,526
I'm royal.
You can call me Roy or Al.
173
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:57,062
Well, I think i'll pick...
174
00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:58,630
Roy.
175
00:09:58,631 --> 00:09:59,999
Most chicks do.
176
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:04,703
Well, this may just be
a stab in the dark, Roy,
177
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,638
But i'm bettin' that
you're not married.
178
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,408
Yeah. How'd you know?
179
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:12,678
Well, because when
I was younger and single,
180
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:16,015
Every single guy
I dated that didn't live at home lived here.
181
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:19,485
As a matter of fact, I think
this is Dan's old couch.
182
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:20,753
You wanna sit down?
183
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:23,722
Yeah, thanks.
184
00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:27,259
Is there some place that
I could boil this first?
185
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,762
That's just beer.
It's gotta be dry by now.
186
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,498
You want something
to drink?
187
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:35,167
Yeah, thanks.
I think a big tumbler
188
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,736
Of penicillin would really
hit the spot right now.
189
00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:46,078
Hey, is that
a soap opera?
190
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:49,715
Yeah, with a satellite
dish we get shows from all over the world.
191
00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:52,584
This one's called
"dos mujeres, un camino."
192
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:59,224
[Roseanne]
so that's what happened to that guy from Chips."
193
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:03,929
He's way better in this.
194
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,967
Hey, Beavis.
Butthead's home.
195
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,308
What are you
doing here?
196
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:19,111
Oh, I just came by
to clear up some stuff.
197
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,512
We got nothing
to talk about.
198
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,449
Oh, but i'm afraid
we do, Mark.
199
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:26,852
You see, i'm really sick and
tired of everybody thinking
200
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,221
That i'm some evil woman
that broke up your marriage.
201
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,924
I am not an evil woman.
202
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:35,060
And I believe Roy
can back me up on that.
203
00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:37,696
She seems
pretty cool to me.
204
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,431
Roy, get outta here.
205
00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:46,638
You're gonna have to
go and talk to Becky.
206
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:48,807
I already told Mr. Conner
I can't do that.
207
00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:51,944
You're gonna have to,
because she's gonna have to know
208
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:54,380
That you left because
of you and not because of me.
209
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,781
This whole thing
is your fault.
210
00:11:57,183 --> 00:11:58,283
Yeah, I know.
211
00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:02,621
So what do you mean by that?
212
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,590
You were right about me.
I screwed everything up.
213
00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:06,959
Yeah. Yeah, you did.
214
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,361
And you shouldn't have taken
our money to go to school
215
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:11,530
When you weren't prepared to
go all the way through with it.
216
00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:12,898
What do you want me to say?
217
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,134
I know the school thing
wasn't right for me.
218
00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:17,503
I mean, i'm not
a real smart guy.
219
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:24,143
Well, if you say so, Mark.
220
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:27,846
I fix cars, bikes,
things like that.
221
00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:29,081
I'm not like Becky.
222
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,216
She's the one that should
be going to school here.
223
00:12:31,217 --> 00:12:33,686
Then so why did you go?
224
00:12:33,687 --> 00:12:35,320
Because she made me.
It was all her idea.
225
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:38,123
I just want to get a job
and take care of Becky,
226
00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:40,426
But I didn't even have
the brains to do that.
227
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:44,096
God, would you stop
calling yourself stupid?
228
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,298
You're gonna wreck it
for everybody else.
229
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,169
I'm just trying
to be honest.
230
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,738
Becky deserved someone
other than a total loser.
231
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,208
Oh, now, Mark. Come on.
232
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,777
You were the only one
that was smart enough to know
233
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,279
That you were gonna
flunk out of school.
234
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,614
That's something. Huh?
235
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:03,882
Thanks.
236
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:09,955
Okay, I guess you're
not the only one to blame for this whole mess.
237
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:13,926
Maybe I shouldn't have pushed
Becky to push you so hard.
238
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,427
There.
239
00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:21,600
Are you guys okay?
'cause spanish jeopardy is gonna be on in a few minutes.
240
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,339
Yeah, we're cool.
241
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:29,975
So does this mean you're gonna
get back together with Darlene?
242
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:33,212
God, you're looking smarter
every second, Mark.
243
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:36,115
I'm not married to Darlene,
i'm married to Becky.
244
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:39,585
Oh, then darlene's
the one that lives with your brother in Chicago?
245
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,022
What?
246
00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:44,890
He didn't mean that.
He didn't mean Darlene.
247
00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:47,426
He meant, uh, D.J. Yeah.
248
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:53,265
David is in Chicago?
249
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,367
So how long have they
been living together?
250
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,936
What the hell
am I asking you for?
251
00:13:57,937 --> 00:13:59,972
He's been up there
ever since he left you.
252
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:02,241
I can't believe that
they would do this to me!
253
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:04,543
Wait, wait.
254
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,113
Let's just go up to Chicago.
255
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:11,517
Why do you wanna
take me to Chicago?
256
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:14,253
[sighing]
I don't know. I'm just trying to help.
257
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:17,723
What makes you think I want
to sit in a car with you for an hour and a half?
258
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,658
'cause I got $8 gas money.
259
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:23,996
Let's go.
260
00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:42,014
Hey, Deej.
How was the hockey game?
261
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:45,117
Dull. I didn't split
anybody's lip or anything.
262
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:48,987
The important is, you tried.
Now go shower up.
263
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,291
Do I have to?
264
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,927
You're darn close to having
to take a bath in tomato juice.
265
00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:58,664
Hey, kiddo.
266
00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:00,399
I don't know
where your mom's at.
267
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,534
Looks like dad's
making dinner.
268
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:05,104
I was just gonna
have something simple.
269
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:07,239
Something simple?
I won't have it!
270
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,074
I'm making grilled cheese!
271
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:18,584
So, any word from
what's-his-face today?
272
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,519
No. New subject, please.
273
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,655
Fine, fine.
We're not talking about it.
274
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,491
My marriage is
falling apart, dad.
275
00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:26,625
Mark doesn't even care.
276
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,360
I'm sure he cares.
277
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,596
It's just--
278
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,531
His pride is hurting.
279
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:36,268
Well, I bet he's sitting
around some pig sty
280
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,004
Surrounded by empty beer
cans and pizza boxes.
281
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:40,806
I bet he's just lovin' it.
282
00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:44,076
No, I don't think he's
been married long enough
283
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:46,445
To really,
truly appreciate it.
284
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,482
I'm never gonna
forgive mom for this.
285
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:54,520
Becky, your mom's not what's
keeping you guys apart.
286
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:57,790
Well, mom's the reason
that Mark went back to school
287
00:15:57,791 --> 00:15:59,958
And flunked, and now he's
never gonna face me again.
288
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,694
Why don't you
just go to him?
289
00:16:01,695 --> 00:16:06,231
I can't.
Why, is he right?
290
00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:07,266
Are you ashamed of him?
291
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:08,200
No.
292
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,138
It's just so weird
I could fall in love
293
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:16,075
With someone who could
flunk out of trade school.
294
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:20,245
Becky, if your
husband flunked,
295
00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:22,214
You gotta figure out
how much that bothers you.
296
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:27,519
It bothers me.
297
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,955
If that's the way you feel,
maybe it's good he's gone.
298
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:31,256
No, it's not.
299
00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:33,292
Mark doesn't need someone
looking down on him
300
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:34,760
For the rest of his life.
301
00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:41,533
Now that's a diet margarine,
you gotta double up on that.
302
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,276
After a real big fight,
did mom ever come to you
303
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:54,513
And say that she was
completely wrong and that it was all her fault?
304
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:57,082
When you've been married
as long as your mom and me,
305
00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:59,118
It's not necessary
to apologize.
306
00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:03,355
Apparently.
307
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:12,131
Oh, we'd better hurry.
I just know there's something on tv
308
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:14,366
You haven't seen
three times.
309
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,601
Shut up, Darlene.
310
00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:17,436
You're not the only one
that's unhappy here.
311
00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:19,838
At least you're not living
with the meanest person alive.
312
00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,907
Screw you.
313
00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:24,710
You know what?
You are truly horrible.
314
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,945
You know that? I don't
even love you anymore.
315
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:32,284
You don't have anything
to say to that, do you?
316
00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:34,119
Just get out of my way.
317
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:38,957
Hi, David.
318
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:43,362
I found this pen.
Is it yours?
319
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:45,898
Uh, no.
320
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:49,635
Oh, okay. Well,
i'll be goin', then.
321
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:54,673
Oh, wait a minute.
322
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:57,309
I forgot to shred
the crap out of you two.
323
00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:59,445
Mom--
no, you're not talking.
324
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:01,280
You're not talking
for a very long time.
325
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:03,849
And you better sit down,
because this is gonna take a while.
326
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:06,085
Hey, davo.
Hey, Mark.
327
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:11,490
Wow. You thought you had it
all figured out, didn't you?
328
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:16,161
You thought you were
gonna live together and be the happy little couple
329
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:20,165
And your parents were just too
stupid to find out about it.
330
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,767
You lied to me
about christmas,
331
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:23,168
You lied to me
about thanksgiving.
332
00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:24,903
I wanted to come home
for thanksgiving.
333
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:27,272
I didn't keep you here.
Oh, yeah. Right.
334
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:28,807
Stop trying to put
the blame on me.
335
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,476
You did what you wanted
to do like always.
336
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:31,777
What do you expect
from me, David?
337
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,846
I am the meanest
person alive, remember?
338
00:18:33,847 --> 00:18:36,315
Hey, both of you. Me.
339
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:38,984
I'm the one you're
listening to, okay?
340
00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:42,421
I'm the one that
you lied to and betrayed over and over and over.
341
00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:43,856
I didn't want to.
342
00:18:43,857 --> 00:18:45,457
I'm sorry if
I made you lie.
343
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,926
Don't touch me.
God, Darlene, can't I do anything right?
344
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,928
Hello! There's a shredding
going on here
345
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:52,398
And I came a very
long way to do this.
346
00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:54,033
I don't want any argument
from you, Darlene.
347
00:18:54,034 --> 00:18:56,068
David, you're coming
home with me right now. Come on, let's go.
348
00:18:56,069 --> 00:18:57,102
End of story.
349
00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:59,238
Good. You're doing
me a favor.
350
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:02,107
No, i'm not doing
you a favor.
351
00:19:02,108 --> 00:19:03,542
You're not enjoying this.
352
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:06,211
This is something very painful
that i'm doing to you.
353
00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:10,249
Okay, I got it.
354
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:13,352
You have no idea how many
phone calls, discussions,
355
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:15,754
Weekends at home
and lectures it's gonna take
356
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:17,222
Before you and me
are square again.
357
00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:19,224
All right,
i'm sorry, mom.
358
00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:21,960
David, I threw
all your stuff outside.
359
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:24,763
So you guys get the suitcases
and you grab a flashlight
360
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:26,165
And we'll go see
what we can find.
361
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:32,771
So, how's it goin'?
Okay.
362
00:19:39,813 --> 00:19:43,315
Plus all the laundry,
plus the dishes,
363
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:46,685
Plus giving birth and every
other chore I hate to do around this house.
364
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,821
Were the hell have you been?
365
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,325
And what are you doing here?
366
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,730
And what are
you doing with them?
367
00:19:57,731 --> 00:19:59,865
And--that's it.
I'm out of questions.
368
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,369
Let me get the rest
of your stuff.
369
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:05,771
Dan, i'd like to talk
to you in the other room.
370
00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:08,374
Oh, god. Changing rooms.
This can't be good.
371
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:15,981
Well, okay. I got this call
from David today
372
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:18,350
And him and his mother are
not getting along at all,
373
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,886
So he calls me from
this bus station in rockford.
374
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:23,622
Oh, man. We were
afraid of this.
375
00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:26,525
Poor kid. Is he okay?
376
00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:29,762
Yeah, he's fine.
He just needs to be here for a while.
377
00:20:29,763 --> 00:20:30,996
I gotta hand it to you.
378
00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:33,265
You had a feeling
this was gonna happen.
379
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:35,701
Nothing gets by me.
380
00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:40,305
David.
Yes, sir?
381
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,443
Um, look.
382
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:47,513
I'm sorry.
I really am.
383
00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:49,081
I'm glad you're back.
384
00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:50,349
We missed you.
385
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:56,655
I told him
and he went insane.
386
00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:59,591
Oh, god.
Nah.
387
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,326
I didn't tell him.
388
00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:03,362
If you're gonna have
a fighting chance with him,
389
00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:04,930
You're gonna need
me on your side,
390
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:07,800
And for that, i'm going
to need plenty of sleep.
391
00:21:07,801 --> 00:21:10,002
Thank you.
392
00:21:11,071 --> 00:21:12,771
Of course, you know...
393
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,907
I have been known
to talk in my sleep.
394
00:21:14,908 --> 00:21:19,778
Sometimes,
Dan walks in his sleep.
395
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,280
But rest well, David.
396
00:21:23,717 --> 00:21:25,784
Well, I guess i'll,
uh, get going too.
397
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:29,188
Well, don't you
wanna talk to Becky?
398
00:21:29,189 --> 00:21:31,023
Nah, she's probably asleep.
399
00:21:31,024 --> 00:21:33,158
She's probably
not asleep.
400
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:36,729
Becky! Come down here!
401
00:21:36,730 --> 00:21:39,064
Look, I don't know
if I can see her right now.
402
00:21:39,065 --> 00:21:42,301
I mean, how do I look?
403
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:45,204
Like every
mother's nightmare.
404
00:21:45,205 --> 00:21:46,538
She'll love you.
405
00:21:47,741 --> 00:21:48,907
Look who dropped in.
406
00:21:52,078 --> 00:21:55,647
And, um, I think he wants
to talk to you, don't you, Mark?
407
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:57,449
Yeah.
408
00:21:57,450 --> 00:22:00,319
And i'm sure that you
would really love to listen.
409
00:22:02,422 --> 00:22:05,190
And this just happens to be
a really good listening spot.
410
00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:09,361
This is where Dan sits
and does most of his listening.
411
00:22:09,362 --> 00:22:11,764
You wanna?
Yeah.
412
00:22:21,207 --> 00:22:22,841
Are you coming to bed?
Shh, shh, shh.
413
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:24,043
What?
414
00:22:24,044 --> 00:22:25,711
Are they talking?
415
00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:29,248
Yeah, and maybe
if Mark doesn't say too much, they can patch things up.
416
00:22:29,249 --> 00:22:30,449
Damn.
417
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:32,651
What, I thought you wanted
them to get back together.
418
00:22:32,652 --> 00:22:34,920
Oh, I do, I just...
419
00:22:34,921 --> 00:22:37,890
Don't have any excuse
to go over to Roy's now.
420
00:22:46,299 --> 00:22:49,835
[speaking in spanish]
421
00:23:10,023 --> 00:23:12,424
[speaking in spanish]
422
00:23:12,474 --> 00:23:17,024
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