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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,401 --> 00:00:02,736 [music] 2 00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:06,474 [theme music] 3 00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:10,344 JACKIE: Well, yeah. 4 00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:12,480 So this one's OK. 5 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:13,614 No. 6 00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,049 You don't want to get a used washer and dryer. 7 00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:16,350 I can't afford a new one. 8 00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:18,486 You're going to put clothes that touch your body 9 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,222 into somebody's filthy machine? 10 00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:22,990 I do it here all the time. 11 00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:28,829 Here but our filth is family. 12 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,432 What's your problem? 13 00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:32,933 I just think if you get a washer and dryer, 14 00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:35,203 you're not going to come around here no more. 15 00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:37,305 I'm still going to come over. 16 00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:38,339 No, you won't. 17 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:41,675 Nobody comes here unless they have to. 18 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:42,576 I got to eat. 19 00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:44,378 Don't I? - Yeah. 20 00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:45,846 And you'll probably learn how to cook. 21 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,316 And then you'll start going off to the supermarket 22 00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:50,118 with your fancy new washer and dryer. 23 00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,051 OK, OK. 24 00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:52,220 I'll throw the paper away. 25 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:55,156 You're in no condition to discuss this now. 26 00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:57,057 Mom, can I have the car on Saturday night? 27 00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:58,159 Yeah. 28 00:00:58,192 --> 00:00:59,793 Only if you promise to bring it back really 29 00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:03,797 dirty and totally out of gas. 30 00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,166 Well, Mark's truck is in the shop. 31 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:07,435 So I'm driving us to the spring dance. 32 00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:08,902 Spring dance. 33 00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:11,071 Boy, does that bring back memories. 34 00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:14,975 Yeah Waiting around for weeks for some cool guy to ask you. 35 00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:19,012 And then ending up going with some loser like Glen Dickerson. 36 00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:19,913 Why? 37 00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:21,982 Was he a geek or something? 38 00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:22,883 Ask Jackie. 39 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:23,717 It's her memory. 40 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:26,487 No. 41 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,855 He was not a geek. 42 00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:31,392 He was the only kid in 10th grade that carried a lunch box. 43 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,326 OK, champ. 44 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,528 Let's ice down that pitching arm. 45 00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:35,429 How was the game? 46 00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:36,597 Oh, it was OK. 47 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:37,498 OK? 48 00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,333 She was throwing BBs out there. 49 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,268 [phone rings] 50 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:41,101 BECKY: I'll get it. 51 00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:45,639 11 strikeouts. No walks. 52 00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:47,107 She made their best hitter cry. 53 00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,008 Yeah. 54 00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:49,109 I beaned her right in the neck. 55 00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:50,278 Wow. 56 00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:51,645 That was an accident, right? 57 00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:54,682 Grow up. 58 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:55,683 It's for you, Darlene. 59 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:56,784 It's Barry. 60 00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:59,086 Yeah? 61 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,454 Hey, Barry. How are you doing? 62 00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:01,655 Hey. 63 00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:02,756 Did Crystal drop anything off for me here today? 64 00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:03,691 There's an envelope there on the counter. 65 00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:04,658 Yes. 66 00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:06,560 Thanks to my well-connected father, 67 00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:09,463 I now possess two tickets to the Bulls playoff 68 00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:10,864 game this Saturday night. 69 00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:13,667 Well, don't expect me to go to a baseball game with you. 70 00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,336 It's basketball, Roseanne. 71 00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:16,570 Ah, get off my back. 72 00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:19,373 The answer still no. 73 00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:21,942 Damn, I guess I'll have to find somebody else then. 74 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,544 Hey, I like basketball. 75 00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:24,445 Really. 76 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,346 How fascinating. 77 00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:27,348 But you know? 78 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:30,651 I think I'm going to surprise Darlene with these. 79 00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,653 How bizarre. 80 00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:33,754 That was Barry. 81 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:36,123 And he just invited me to the spring dance. 82 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:40,060 Well, all right, Butch. 83 00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:41,462 When is this thing, Darlene? 84 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,431 Oh, it's this Saturday night. 85 00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:44,598 Saturday, huh? 86 00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:45,499 Yeah. 87 00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,134 Can you drive us? 88 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,135 No problem. 89 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,036 Oh, 90 00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:50,438 Darlene. 91 00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:51,472 Congratulations. 92 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,374 It's your first formal dance. 93 00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:55,943 God, you'll remember this for the rest of your life. 94 00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:58,579 Honey, what are you going to wear? 95 00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,180 Well, I was thinking I'd go down to the mall-- 96 00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:01,081 Sh, sh, sh. 97 00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,182 I'm not talking to you. 98 00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:07,087 [theme music] 99 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:50,264 [cackle] 100 00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:53,667 [music playing] 101 00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,139 OK. 102 00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:03,477 So whatever I decide that Darlene likes best, we'll keep. 103 00:04:03,511 --> 00:04:09,683 And what do you think of these shoes with that blue dress? 104 00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:10,584 Oh, clash. 105 00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:11,619 You know? 106 00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:13,321 What about something with an open toe? 107 00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:14,221 No. 108 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,524 Nobody wants to see her feet. 109 00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:17,425 Ah, Roseanne. 110 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:18,826 And Bonnie. 111 00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,193 Hi, Leon. 112 00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:24,465 This is Linda Wagner from Rod Bell's company headquarters. 113 00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:27,468 She's here to see how hard we're always working. 114 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,902 Oh cool. 115 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,804 Hey, Linda. 116 00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:33,607 What do you think of these shoes with this dress? 117 00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:34,442 I think they work. 118 00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:40,848 Roseanne is sort of our restaurant cut up. 119 00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:41,882 Let's try this again. 120 00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:43,884 Shall we? 121 00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:46,854 Miss Wagner is here to look over our store 122 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:50,458 and evaluate our employees. 123 00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,493 That doesn't mean I have to take a lie detector test, 124 00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:54,094 does it? 125 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:57,164 Because every time I take one of them, I get fired. 126 00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:58,599 - Oh god. - No. 127 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,868 What I'd really like to do is just conduct a short interview 128 00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,135 with each of you. 129 00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:03,371 Fantastic. OK. 130 00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:04,472 Who would like to start? 131 00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,273 Roseanne, I think I see your hand up there. 132 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,174 Perfect. 133 00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:08,442 All right, Bonnie. 134 00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:09,943 Why don't we just leave these two 135 00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:15,182 alone to chat while we tidy up and serve our happy customers? 136 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:18,352 I promise this won't take long. 137 00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:21,221 Well, now this ain't one of those "if I could be 138 00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:24,892 any animal on earth, what animal would I be" kind of deals, 139 00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,193 is it? 140 00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:27,661 No. 141 00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,296 Let me start by asking you about your boss. 142 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,197 Oh. 143 00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:33,801 So it is an animal question. 144 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,769 I was wondering, is he single? 145 00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:37,004 Leon? 146 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:40,273 Of course he's single. 147 00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:41,642 Well, I find him very attractive. 148 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,743 Don't you? 149 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:45,446 Well, OK. 150 00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:49,116 I suppose that in kind of an off beat-- 151 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:50,518 oh, what the hell? 152 00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:53,220 Put me down for no. 153 00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:54,955 There's just something about him. 154 00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:58,225 He's got this mysterious charisma. 155 00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:00,861 Uh huh. 156 00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,195 It's strange. 157 00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:04,498 The second I looked at him, this voice in my head said, 158 00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:08,569 I want that man. 159 00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,070 How long you've been on the road, Linda? 160 00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,842 Almost six weeks. Why? 161 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,877 Time to go home. 162 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,480 [music playing] 163 00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:24,918 Darlene, would you please come down here? 164 00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:27,521 Jeez, where is she? I want to see some action. 165 00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:29,857 Oh, oh, you know this is so exciting. 166 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,625 Sometimes I wish my Lonny was a little girl 167 00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:34,728 so I could get him all dolled up in a pretty dress. 168 00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,299 I don't do that, of course. 169 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:45,138 Oh well, take my breath away. 170 00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,574 This is exquisite. 171 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:50,310 Obviously a woman of taste. 172 00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:51,278 You look weird. 173 00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:54,014 You smell weird. 174 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:55,215 What? 175 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,851 Hm. 176 00:06:57,885 --> 00:07:00,521 Try on the blue one. 177 00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,089 Why? 178 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,324 Because I really don't know how I feel about this 179 00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:07,027 dress until I see you in the blue one. 180 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:07,995 Oh God. 181 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,767 Becky. 182 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:14,768 Go with her. 183 00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:17,237 Don't leave her alone with that dress. 184 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:21,174 [music playing] 185 00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:22,610 This is a joke, right? 186 00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:23,511 No. 187 00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:24,745 It's not bad. 188 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:25,846 Well, come on. 189 00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,080 I mean you've been to these things before. 190 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,682 Is this going to work? 191 00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:30,518 Well, that depends on what you're going as. 192 00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:31,418 Yeah. 193 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,521 Well, what are you wearing? 194 00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:34,688 Oh I decided not to go. 195 00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:36,289 These things are so immature. 196 00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:37,157 Mark bailed. 197 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:38,726 Huh? 198 00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,427 Well, it was kind of awkward for him. 199 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,730 I mean, the Spanish teacher he was dating in 11th grade 200 00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:45,432 is going to be chaperone. 201 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,333 OK. 202 00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:47,568 You want to look in the mirror? 203 00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:48,401 Sure. 204 00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:53,774 Oh, why did I do that? 205 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:54,675 OK. 206 00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:55,776 She wants to see the blue dress. 207 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,144 Let's show her the blue dress. 208 00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:07,087 It's too blue. 209 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,292 Looked better on the hanger. 210 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:17,397 Rhubarb with hair. 211 00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:25,305 Makes too much noise when I walk. 212 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,306 Makes me look lopsided. 213 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:33,313 Well, you do look like Judy Jetson. 214 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:38,085 [music playing] 215 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:38,986 ROSEANNE: Oh, yeah. 216 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:39,887 Yeah. 217 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,388 Yeah. 218 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:44,324 This is definitely it. 219 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,126 Mhm. 220 00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:48,461 Mom, this is the first one that I had on. 221 00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:49,362 I know that. 222 00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:50,463 But these shoes. 223 00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:51,665 You see, they totally make the difference. 224 00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:52,733 They make the outfit. 225 00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:53,901 Am I right? - Oh yeah. 226 00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:54,802 Nice shoes. 227 00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:55,703 Yeah. 228 00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,938 The shoes, definitely. 229 00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,840 See, but now you're going to have to start shaving 230 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,109 your legs below the sock line. 231 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:04,745 Those aren't socks. 232 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,213 Oh, Dan. 233 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:09,449 Come on in here and meet your beautiful, young daughter. 234 00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:10,350 Wow. 235 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,451 You look incredible. 236 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:12,920 DARLENE: Thanks. 237 00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,888 ROSEANNE: Maybe you ought to see her in the yellow one. 238 00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,256 - Mom. - No, no, no, no. 239 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,490 This is perfect. 240 00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:18,826 Besides, I have the first dance. 241 00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:19,960 May I? 242 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,494 Oh, just shoot me now. 243 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,639 You really do look nice, you know. 244 00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:32,740 Thanks. 245 00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:34,207 And you dance divinely. 246 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,576 I'm stepping all over your feet. 247 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,378 I happen to enjoy that. 248 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,546 I hate slow dancing. 249 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,681 Well, listen. 250 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,916 If this Barry guy tries to hold you too close, 251 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,618 just tell him you're going to throw up. 252 00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,586 Oh I thought I'd save that for when he wants to have sex. 253 00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:52,826 Gotta go. 254 00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:54,762 Mom, I'm going to go change into human clothes. 255 00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,129 Oh no. No. 256 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:58,799 We've got to decide what we're going to do about your hair. 257 00:09:58,832 --> 00:09:59,933 Stop it. 258 00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:00,834 No. 259 00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:02,035 I like my hair the way it is. 260 00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:02,970 I know what we'll do. 261 00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,537 We'll go and get a makeover. 262 00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,239 We'll all go together Saturday before the dance. 263 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,140 No. 264 00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:08,041 Forget it. 265 00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:09,242 Come on, Darlene. 266 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:10,711 This is something I always wanted to do with you. 267 00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:13,781 It'd be like a girl thing. 268 00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:15,749 Mom, I have practice on Saturday. 269 00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:16,850 Well, you can just miss it. 270 00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:18,251 No, I can't. 271 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:19,853 If I miss practice, I might not get to start in the next game. 272 00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:20,954 Well, gee. 273 00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:22,255 Darlene, this is your first formal dance. 274 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,657 It's way more important. 275 00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:24,557 Yeah? 276 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,059 Well, then why don't you go? 277 00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:27,527 Because I have nothing to wear. 278 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:34,702 [door slam] 279 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,540 Well you better go practice. 280 00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,642 You missed me by a mile. 281 00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:43,543 Hey, hey. 282 00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,578 That's not paid for yet. 283 00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:46,479 Take it back. 284 00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:47,380 Take them all back. 285 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:48,716 I'll get my own dress. 286 00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:49,883 You pick it up. 287 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:50,918 No. 288 00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,385 Pick it up, Darlene. 289 00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:53,386 Why? 290 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:54,822 So you can play Barbie doll some more? 291 00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:55,723 Forget it. 292 00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:56,924 What are you talking about? 293 00:10:56,957 --> 00:11:00,660 I bought you a beautiful dress for the dance. 294 00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:01,795 Oh, give me a break. 295 00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:03,130 Why don't you give me this kind of attention 296 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,865 when I do real stuff like striking out 11 297 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:08,301 guys without walking anybody? 298 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,402 OK. 299 00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:10,237 Way to go. 300 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:12,605 Yeah. 301 00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:14,107 You ever brag about that to Jackie and Crystal? 302 00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:15,475 No. 303 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,477 But all of a sudden, some guy asked me to some lame dance 304 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,146 and I'm a big deal. 305 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,981 That's so sick. 306 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,383 Well, how come you never said anything about this before now? 307 00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:24,985 Oh why bother? 308 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,253 No. You come here. 309 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:27,654 I want to talk about this some more. 310 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:28,555 Fine. 311 00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:29,823 Go ahead. 312 00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:30,791 Man. 313 00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,860 You are such a spoiled brat-- 314 00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:37,197 [music playing] 315 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,709 Roseanne? 316 00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:52,712 I told you I wanted every customer to have a flower. 317 00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:53,781 Oh, not now, Leon. 318 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:56,716 I ain't in the mood. 319 00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,752 Roseanne, this customer does not have a flower. 320 00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:00,687 So find a vase and give him one. 321 00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:11,965 Well, someone forgot to take her polite pill this morning. 322 00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:13,666 Huh? 323 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:14,835 Leon, why don't you lay off? 324 00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:16,804 She's having a bad day. 325 00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,505 Good afternoon, everybody. 326 00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:20,107 Ms. Wagner. 327 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,208 For you. 328 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,543 A freshly cut spring flower. 329 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,612 How sweet. 330 00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:26,713 Hey, Leon. 331 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:27,981 I've got to get out of here early 332 00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:29,282 so I can go to my kid's baseball game. 333 00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:30,183 No. 334 00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,284 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 335 00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:32,786 This is our evaluation day. 336 00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:34,621 Remember? 337 00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:38,158 Now, please have a seat. 338 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:43,563 And observe your well-oiled Rod Bell's machine in action. 339 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,903 I have a better idea. 340 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:52,639 Shoot. 341 00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:55,876 Why don't the two of us find a nice little Italian restaurant, 342 00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:59,679 order a bottle of Chianti, and get to know each other? 343 00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:00,580 Whoa. 344 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,315 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 345 00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:04,284 Way too much information in that sentence. 346 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:11,124 These evaluations are just so dull. 347 00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:14,727 I thought we could find something more exciting to do. 348 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:22,369 You're coming on to me here, right? 349 00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:25,172 I'm trying. 350 00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:28,375 Well, I would like a cup of coffee. 351 00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:29,977 Would you like a cup of coffee? 352 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:30,810 Sure. 353 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:35,482 Go for it, stud. 354 00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,584 No way. 355 00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:38,651 Come on, Leon. 356 00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:40,020 Where else are you going to find a woman 357 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:43,790 that good-looking and that desperate? 358 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:44,724 Nope. 359 00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:46,359 Not interested. 360 00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:48,261 Well, go on over there. 361 00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,297 You know, if you take her out, I can leave. 362 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:53,600 So stop acting like you've got some integrity and go do it. 363 00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:54,734 No. 364 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:57,204 I'm not looking for this kind of relationship. 365 00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:58,972 Oh, she don't want no relationship. 366 00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:03,010 She just wants a little slap and tickle. 367 00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,912 Think of it as a career move, Leon. 368 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,246 Yeah, Leon. 369 00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,948 Maybe you'll get promoted to some restaurant where, like, 370 00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:10,650 the employees respect you. 371 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,219 Look, I'm not sleeping with her 372 00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,821 just so you can go home early. 373 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,756 Jeez, ask you for one little favor. 374 00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:26,699 Linda, I really appreciate your offer. 375 00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:28,936 It's very flattering. 376 00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:32,439 But I'm already seeing somebody else. 377 00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:33,406 You are not. 378 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:34,241 Am too. 379 00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,078 Leon, don't worry. 380 00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,647 It's OK. 381 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,849 But it could have been fun. 382 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:43,750 OK. 383 00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,953 Let's talk about this restaurant. 384 00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,055 Thank you. 385 00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:49,722 Rosie, am I missing something here? 386 00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:52,059 I mean, what does she see in him? 387 00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:53,793 Oh. 388 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,295 I mean if you were single, would you even-- 389 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,229 No. 390 00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:57,464 Well, what if he was, like, rich? 391 00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:58,365 No. 392 00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,366 Or like a movie star? 393 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,567 - No. - Royalty or something? 394 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:01,468 Uh huh, no. 395 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:02,402 Uh huh. 396 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:03,670 If he were the last man on earth? 397 00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,805 I'd demand a recount. 398 00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:08,608 [music playing] 399 00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:11,945 DAN: I didn't think I could use the tickets 400 00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:14,281 so I gave them to a friend. 401 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:15,482 Yeah, Dad. 402 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,750 I know how hard it was for you to get the tickets. 403 00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:21,621 But well, now Darlene is not going to dance. 404 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:24,891 So OK. 405 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,094 How many coffee filters would you have to sell for me 406 00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,396 to get two more tickets? 407 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,297 OK. 408 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:33,033 Put me down for 25,000. 409 00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:33,933 Yeah, Dad. 410 00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:34,801 See what you could do. 411 00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,603 Thanks. 412 00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,505 Honey, the kids are going to have to start drinking coffee. 413 00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,310 What's this about Darlene's not going to the dance? 414 00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:46,013 Yeah. She called Barry and backed out. 415 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:46,913 Damn it. 416 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,648 I knew that was going to happen. 417 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:52,152 Now I have to go talk to her. 418 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:55,622 The thing is, Dan, this is all my fault. 419 00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:58,158 Imagine that. 420 00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,593 I mean, you spend all your life trying to teach your kids 421 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,529 that they are always wrong and then something like this 422 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:03,496 has to go and happen. 423 00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:07,734 Darlene. 424 00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,240 Hi. 425 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:14,407 Hey. 426 00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:16,243 Can I come in? 427 00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:19,412 I guess so. 428 00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:21,148 Well, I tried to get off early from work today 429 00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:22,982 so I could go to your practice. 430 00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:23,950 Yeah. 431 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,186 Well, we don't practice on Fridays. 432 00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:27,354 Oh well, good. 433 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,822 Then I didn't miss anything. 434 00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:30,990 When's the next game? 435 00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:31,891 It's all right, Mom. 436 00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:32,959 You don't have to come. 437 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,027 No. 438 00:16:34,061 --> 00:16:35,262 Next time you bean somebody in the neck, 439 00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,564 I want to be there cheering you on. 440 00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:38,865 Fine. 441 00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:41,768 Then you'd just better know that when I pitch, I spit. 442 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:42,635 So? 443 00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:46,106 When I dust, I spit. 444 00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:47,407 I've got a great idea. 445 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,341 I just thought of this. 446 00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:49,976 Hey. 447 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,645 You ought to call up Barry and tell him that you 448 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:53,846 will go to the dance, you know? 449 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,416 And just wear whatever you want and have your hair 450 00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,551 how ever you want it. 451 00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:00,853 No. 452 00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:01,954 Come on, Darlene. 453 00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:03,690 Don't miss out on this just to get back at me. 454 00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,058 There's better ways to get back at me. 455 00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:07,194 Maybe Becky's boyfriend has a little brother. 456 00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:12,365 Mom, I didn't blow the dance because of you. 457 00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:14,501 I mean, it was a lot of things. 458 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,336 Like every time I would put on those dresses, 459 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,505 everybody would start treating me weird. 460 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,873 I just didn't feel like the same person anymore. 461 00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:26,679 Well, you know, you kind of are not quite like same person 462 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:27,580 anymore. 463 00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:28,415 You know? 464 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,922 Well. 465 00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:38,258 Sorry, I guess I shouldn't do that. 466 00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:41,027 That's OK. 467 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:45,932 Look, I just may never get into proms and stuff. 468 00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:47,767 I mean I like dating and boys and everything. 469 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,102 It's just that I don't think you should 470 00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:53,640 have to go through all the crap to get to the good stuff. 471 00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:55,542 You've been hanging out with Aunt Jackie too much. 472 00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,412 Look. 473 00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:01,248 I'm sorry that I threw that dress on the floor. 474 00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:02,249 It's OK. 475 00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:04,251 They took it back. 476 00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,219 Hey, I did buy you these shoes, though, that I think 477 00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:07,120 you'll really, really like. 478 00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:08,121 Here. 479 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:09,956 Mom, I can't wear those high heels. 480 00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:11,891 Now just open the box. 481 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:12,725 Oh man. 482 00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:18,765 Golf shoes? 483 00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:25,572 Mom, you got me golf shoes? 484 00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:26,539 Oh. 485 00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:30,310 You mean they're not baseball shoes? 486 00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:32,212 I should have listened to the sales guy. 487 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,714 I just thought these were way cuter. 488 00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:37,584 [music playing] 489 00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:40,287 Let's go, Dad. 490 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,721 It's almost time for tip off. 491 00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:45,658 I had to change into my lucky sweats. 492 00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:49,529 Man, this is going to be way better than some stupid dance. 493 00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:51,698 Hey, I'll bet you $5 Jordan pulls a triple double. 494 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:52,599 What are you? 495 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:53,666 Nuts? 496 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,001 You'd have to be crazy to take that bet. 497 00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,436 Well, I'll give you the odds. 498 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,606 No way. 499 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,208 So where'd Mom run off to hide this time? 500 00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:02,375 Jackie's. 501 00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:05,011 Oh, you know she's coming to your game Monday. 502 00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:06,646 Yeah, I know. 503 00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:07,980 Hey, you don't think if it's, like, cold 504 00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:09,048 out, she'll run out to the pitcher's 505 00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,082 mound to give me my sweater? 506 00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:11,150 Do you? 507 00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:13,052 I think you can pretty much count on it. 508 00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:14,221 As a matter of fact, she's probably 509 00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:15,688 sewing your baseball mitt onto the sleeve 510 00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:18,725 of your uniform right now. 511 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,059 Oh here they come. 512 00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:24,697 Bulls, Bulls, Bulls, Bulls, Bulls, Bulls, Bulls. 513 00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:25,598 Aw, man. 514 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:26,533 Let it ring. 515 00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:27,434 That's all right. 516 00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:28,968 I'll get it. Come on, man. 517 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:29,769 Put it up. Put it up. 518 00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,037 Foul, foul. 519 00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:32,639 Get in the game. 520 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,174 Speak. 521 00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:37,043 Barry, hey. 522 00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:37,944 No. 523 00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:39,679 I'm not mad at you. 524 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:42,482 No, I thought you were mad at me. 525 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,251 Pizza? 526 00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:46,386 Now? 527 00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:49,789 Well, I'm kind of watching the game with my dad. 528 00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:51,023 Well, I don't know. 529 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,828 Sure I can ditch him. 530 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:56,729 Yeah. 531 00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,631 I'll see you in like 10. 532 00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:01,568 OK, bye. 533 00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:02,735 Sorry, Dad. 534 00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,571 Try to be back by dawn. 535 00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:05,472 Yeah. 536 00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:06,406 We'll play it by ear. 537 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,245 What are you up to, Filbert? 538 00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:14,814 Nothing. 539 00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:17,284 Hey, Deej. 540 00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:20,119 Who do you like in the playoff? 541 00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:21,521 What's a playoff? 542 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:22,489 Ho-ho-ho. 543 00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:24,123 Park it right here, bud. 544 00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:27,193 I'll tell you all about it. 545 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,695 You got any money? 546 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,564 [music] 547 00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:41,808 Well, another day, another dollar. 548 00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:42,909 Huh, ladies? 549 00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:45,144 Well, I haven't exactly counted my tips yet. 550 00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:46,245 But that sounds about right. 551 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:49,449 Hey, Leon. 552 00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:51,551 How'd we do on that evaluation? 553 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,086 Well, somehow we did very well. 554 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,455 Well, then it was probably a good thing 555 00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:56,923 that you didn't sleep with her. 556 00:20:56,956 --> 00:21:00,159 Because, you know, we might have all got fired. 557 00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:01,294 Hello, Leon. 558 00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:02,194 You ready? 559 00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:03,095 Yeah. 560 00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:05,298 Almost. 561 00:21:05,332 --> 00:21:06,899 Oh, there's my blue shirt. 562 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,335 I was looking all over for that this morning. 563 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,005 Sorry. 564 00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:15,708 Roseanne, Bonnie, this is my friend, Jerry Gimble. 565 00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:17,109 - Oh hi. - It's nice to meet you. 566 00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:18,210 How do you do? - Nice to meet you, too. 567 00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:19,312 Hi. 568 00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:22,815 Leon had told me so much about both of you. 569 00:21:22,849 --> 00:21:25,618 So Leon, we do have 7 o'clock dinner reservations. 570 00:21:25,652 --> 00:21:27,420 And I'm sure that Phil and Tom are already there. 571 00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:28,455 So perhaps-- - OK. 572 00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:29,288 OK. 573 00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:33,726 Do it all again tomorrow, shall we? 574 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,161 ROSEANNE: Definitely. All righty. 575 00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:36,963 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too. 576 00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:37,497 Bye. - See you. 577 00:21:44,203 --> 00:21:45,638 Oh. 578 00:21:45,688 --> 00:21:50,238 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37620

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