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WAITER
Here you are.
Waiter.
Waiter.
Edgar...
What's this? -Prime rib.
It's raw. Do you take me for a hyena?
Would you like it well done? -Yes.
Do you have time for me? -Just a minute.
Here you are.
Aglass ofwhite wine? -Are you doing it on purpose?
Can't you see I'm busy?
Aglass of white wine? -Yes and be a bit more friendly.
Where's Walter?
In the bathroom.
Walter?
Are you going to help me or what? -I don't feel good.
Mentally or physically. -Physically.
Give that prime rib a push.
There's a piece of prime rib near your foot.
Here you are.
Is it the way you like it?
Waiter.
What did she say? -Nothing special.
It looked like a conversation.
Did you change your make-up?
No, why?
You look so strange.
What do you want to eat? -Aschnitzel.
With a salad? -Be a bit more friendly.
I look forward to a nice evening. It seems that you don't.
Victoria, I'm working. -Tell me that you love me.
I'm very horny.
Yes.
Asalad? - No.
Acrumbed schnitzel or a gypsy style schnitzel?
Agypsy style schnitzel.
Agypsy schnitzel.
And prepared with love, if possible. It's for Victoria.
Either you go home or you come and help me.
Do you hear me? -Yes, I'll be there.
One beer for table six.
Edgar...
You're with me, remember?
I have to go.
Why?
I have a sick woman at home.
So what?
You're home late.
It was very busy.
Goodnight.
This is nothing. I'm not showing it. Always sex.
They have a relationship, right? So they have sex, no?
That's why you don't have to show it.
It depends on how you show it. You turn it into something sad.
A role-playing game. Where they get dressed up.
Relax, girl.
It's good, no? Go on.
No, that's it.
Come on. I want to see what happens.
Isn't it clear what'll happen?
You introduce four blacks I want to see what happens.
It has to stop here or it becomes an orgy with four blacks and that sucks.
It doesn't suck. I want to see it.
I don't.
Will you spend the night here?
I have to go home.
You don't have to go home. You could stay.
What are you doing? -Get up.
Get up. -You're hurting me.
Do you think I'm an idiot? How long has it been going on with the doctor?
Since a year. I can't stand you, Edgar.
Suzie, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
Nothing.
I can hear typing.
Suzie.
What is this?
Damn, Suzie.
Jesus. Don't touch my scenario.
Unbelievable.Do I have to turn off the computer each time I go do something?
First read the scene.
That's nonsense.Total nonsense.
You don't understand a thing.
It was a good scene. -It doesn't make any sense at all.
Edgar isn't supposed to know that his wife has an affair.
We're hungry.What do you recommend? -Did you have a look at the menu?
Yes, but I'm asking you: What do you recommend?
Are you thinking meat or fish?
I'm not thinking anything. What do you recommend?
I could recommend the cod in mustard sauce, or the schnitzel.
Aschnitzel? Is that veal? -Yes.
I don't eat that. Is the cod fresh? -Everything's frozen these days.
Really? -Yes.
Is the mustard sauce spicy?
If I order the cod and I eat it all, will I have had a nice dinner?-Yes.
Is that a guarantee? -Something can always go wrong.
And then I'd have a bad cod? -You'd get a new one.
Anew bad cod.
No, because I'd pay extra attention.
Why don't you pay extra attention the first time?
I'll pay extra attention the first time.
So I get a nice cod from the start? -Yes.
I'll have the cod.
What's the cod served with? -Rice and carrots.
I'll have the cod, but with fries and without carrots.
Two cod.
One of them with fries and no carrots. -Yes, I know.
But you're not writing it down. -I did write it down.
I'll have the liver. -I wouldn't do that.
What did you say? -I wouldn't do that.
I feel like liver. -Yes, but I don't recommend it.
Damn,what kind of a joint is this?
It's on the menu. -It shouldn't be, if you ask me.
But it's on the menu. -Yes, but I'm not in charge here.
Just a steak with salad. -For me too.
Didn't you want cod? -And now Iwant a steak.
We're out of steak. -This is unbelievable.
It says here: sausage. What kind of sausage?
German sausage. -Sausage from Germany?
From which animal? -Which animal?
What animal is the sausage made of? Goddamnit.
It's made from pork.
We're here for a nice dinner, but you don't cooperate.
Did you have an education? -Yes.
Didn't they teach you to recommend dishes?
''Sir, I can really recommend the German sausage.''
''It's a very tender sausage, made for us by a family run company in Bavaria.''
Say that.
Repeat after me: Sir, I can really recommend the German sausage.
Repeat it, damnit. -I can recommend the German sausage.
Really recommend. -Really recommend.
A tender sausage, made for us by a family run company in Bavaria.
Atender sausage, made for us by a family run company in Bremen.
In Bavaria. -In Bavaria.
Was that so hard?
I'll have the German sausage. -Me too.
Sorry to barge in like this, but you're going too far.
The things you come up with. It's terrible.
What the hell? You can't come here. You're fictional.
Why do I let those business men walk over me? Why don't I put up a defence?
That's the story. -What kind of story's that?
You don't have the right to know. -And what about my sick wife?
You're supposed to have a hard life. -More than hard. Unsupportable.
How can I love a chronically ill woman? -He's right.
Shut up. -Admit something, for once.
She must die. She stops everything. -She ruins my life.
That's exactly the idea. -But she also ruins your story.
Asick woman's boring. -You don't know what I'll come up with.
Only that the woman has an affair with the doctor.
Damn, Suzy, he's not supposed to know! -My wife has an affair with the doctor?
No, now we delete that.
So that didn't happen? -No, because we deleted it.
Good on that dirty whore. -It's been deleted. Didn't happen.
Delete the entire woman. -No.
Why are you so difficult? What's the problem?
If you can't delete things, you're a worthless writer.
Now you have to shut up. -Delete that woman.
If you delete the woman, you get more room to manoeuvre.
It's better for the story and it makes me more active.
And that's what you want? -Yes, I'd love that.
I don't make any promises. Now go. -And another thing.The neighbours.
What about them? -Can they move?
Why not? -We torture you.You must suffer.
So it'll get worse? -Yes.
And will the business men be back? -Maybe.That's enough, now.
If they come again, let me say something back to them.
Please.So I can defend myself. -Get lost.
Now what? -Can I get a new girlfriend then?
He already has a girlfriend. -Alittle friend with a little love.
Even if it doesn't last. Ashort moment of happiness.
Afterwards, you can punish me again.
I'm prepared to make a concession. -Are you giving him a girlfriend?
Could you shut up for a moment? -No, don't give him a girlfriend.
He already has one.Two girlfriends is a threesome.That's not your thing.
It won't be a threesome.
You'll have a girlfriend. For a short while.
On one condition. That you leave me in peace.
Whatever happens, you leave me in peace.
Bye.
I missed you so much.
I missed you too.
I have to go. -Already?
Yes.
Abit longer.
Till tomorrow.
What are you doing?
If we give you compost, you can't throw it back.
Compost? Garbage.
It has to be sorted.You need compost, no? It's a present.
So? -What?
Maybe a thank you? -For that garbage?
And now hit him on the head.
You could say thank you, no?
Yes. -It's not hard, is it?
So say:''Thanks, Richard.''
Thanks, Richard.
I had a question.
The noise sometimes bothers me.
The noise? Which noise?
Yours. -What kind of noise?
Loud music. The other day a jackhammer.
Sieb is a sound engineer.
He has to do a test now and then. -This loud?
Yes, that's the test.
And he can't do that at his work?
I work from home.
My wife asks if you want to have dinner at our place, one of these days.
Does she ask that? -Yes.
Do you find that strange? -No, not at all.
Well?
Do you want to come for dinner? -Yes, alright.
Do I know your wife?
Not that I know.
I'll take care of them. -No.
Don't worry.We're in a mild mood.Aren't we, boys?
If you're in a mild mood as well, everything will be fine.
We had a hard day today and we'd like to be treated nicely.
What would you like to drink?
That doesn't sound friendly. -I'm being polite.
That's not enough. I want a friendly smile.
That's not good enough, damnit.
Can't you produce a fucking friendly smile?
Asshole.
We're customers, guests.
You have to please us.
Abottle ofwhite wine.
And cold.
What about our wine?
What did you say? -You should calm down.
Listen, clown, you already ruined our evening once. Don't do it again.
We want to be waited upon by a friendly, servile little waiter.
Asshole.
I wanted to say something back.
And what did you give me? Name calling that gets me beaten up.
What kind of a fucking story is this?
Who am I? I have no ambitions, no dreams. I wander around.
Who am I? -Go away.
What's my aim? -You have no aim.
I see.So I am a loser.
Amodern character. -Awhat?
Amodern character.
My God, a modern character. That's so old, man.
I have more to offer than that.
I frustrate you, but I support you too. I grant you moments of happiness.
I hadn't noticed that.
Just wait.What do you think I am? Some scribbler?
If you come here again, I'll have you hit by a truck.
My darling.
Tell me where you live. -No.
I like that you don't know anything about me.
You can't keep this up forever.
One day, I'll tell you everything.
I don't even know your age.
I'm young.And you're not.
Welcome. I'm Stella.
Edgar.
Thank you.
Please sit down. I'll be there in a sec.
During the day, you can see the sea.
Have a seat.
To love.
Walter told me you have a girlfriend.
Did you say that?
Yes, is that alright? -Yes, yes.
Her name's Victoria, isn't it?
I know her. She lives really close.
Acharming woman.
So she's your girlfriend.
Not anymore.
Did you break up?
Yes.
Bart's crying.
I'll go.
Why did you invite me?
I wanted to see you.
Bart wants a kiss. Or else you can't sleep, can you?
Do you also want a kiss from uncle Edgar?
Yes, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
I have to have a look at the quails.
Time for red wine.
I know something you don't. -What's that?
This year, you'll be a waiter for 25 years.
25 years? -Yes.
Yes, and I'll organise something. -Don't bother.
It's no bother. I'll do it. -But I don't want it.
You don't want it, but I'll do it anyway.
You wouldn't be doing me a favour.
I don't think Edgar's very interested in this.
Turn it off.
I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to bed.
Sleep well, darling.
See you tomorrow.
Stella.
Am I your street girl?
Yes.
So, say it.
Say what?
That I'm your street girl.
You're my street girl.
I can't do it.
I'm ending it. -Ending what?
With you. It's over.
Is it over just like that? -Yes.Go quickly.That's easiest.
But you wanted to see me. -To break up. It's over.
But you're the love of my life. I can't live without you.
Bart woke up. What do you want? Adrama?
What's happening? -He doesn't feel well.
Get a wet towel.
Edgar,what's wrong? -I'm alright again.
What was it? A headache? -Yes.
I'm alright,Walter.
Who's that? - Edgar.
What's happening?
Can I come in?
-Victoria? -What do you want?
Didn't you hear what I asked?
Whether you can come in. -Yes, that was my question.
And then?
Why are you here, Edgar?
Wait. -What,wait?
Edgar?
Victoria?
What is this? You ring my door bell at night and then you disappear...
Can I come in?
To do what? -Sleep.
Why? -Aren't we a couple?
Oh, now we're a couple, all of a sudden.
Victoria...
Are you still there or am I crying for nothing?-Not at all.
What am I supposed to do with you? -I don't know.
What did you say? -Let me in so we can talk better.
I want you so much, Edgar, but not his way.
You're wandering around. I don't know who you are.
Victoria? -Yes?
We have to be reasonable. It's late.
I'll go home and tomorrow we'll go to your favourite restaurant.
You can come in.
I'd really like to, but it's better not.
Why not? -I have to go. I'll call you tomorrow.
I can't hear you, Edgar.
Stella?
What happened, last night?
I was acting a bit strange.
That's Walter and Stella. -Where?
That's not Walter.
Who else could it be? -I don't know, but that's not Walter.
What are you doing? -I'll ask them to join us.
Are you crazy? -Why not?
Because that's not Walter. They're meeting in secret.
Stella, a secret meeting? Don't be stupid.They just had a baby.
So what? -Amother with a baby doesn't cheat.
What nonsense.
How would you know?
Victoria...
You're right. It's not Walter.
Who is it? -I don't know him.
Embarrassing. She just had a baby and she's cheating.
That guy must know she had a baby.
And if you know that, you leave that woman alone, don't you?
You don't even think about it. Don't you agree?
Edgar?
You agree with me, don't you? -About what?
You're not listening.
No, I'm not listening.
Nice, having dinner with you.
Excuse me. -I've had it with you.
Victoria, come on. What are you doing?
Go away.
Look at what I'm wearing.
You think:we fuck and everything's alright again.
I was in a bad mood.
One minute.
I want you to go.
Fuck off.
Sorry, guys.
You really don't understand. I love you. Don't you get it?
But I want a man who loves me back.
Who's elegant and loving.
And who says something original now and then.
This is a friend, Mr. Makino.
He's not safe with us, but with you he is.Can he stay with you for a while?
Stay here? -For a while.
What does for a while mean? -Not forever.
We want him to be comfortable.
I'm not set up for guests. -You have a bedroom, don't you?
Yes, but I sleep there. -I see a couch, over there.
I can't have a guest sleep on the couch, can I?
I agree with you.
That's why you sleep on the couch and Mr. Makino sleeps in the bedroom.
I don't want a stranger in my house.
He's a refugee. Be hospitable.
We've had a good relationship with Japan for 400 years.
I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't jeopardise that.
Herman...
Shit. I fell asleep.
Maybe you need a break. -No.
What are you doing here?
It'sTuesday. I always come here on Tuesdays.
What do you want to drink? -You know what I want to drink.
Victoria,why did you come here? -Because I think we have to talk.
What do you want to eat?
Abit of salad and some bread.
Where's Walter? -In the bathroom.
The door's open.
Something terrible happened.
She left me. -Who? Stella?
She has somebody else. -Shit,Walter.
Who is it?
No idea. -Did she move out?
No, not yet.
But she's leaving and she's taking Bart with her.
Is she going to live with that guy? -Yes.
How long has it been going on?
I don't know.
I love her more than anything. Every day with her was a happy day.
I love her more than anything. Every day with her was a happy day.
She doesn't want to talk or anything.
I have to go back to work.
You stay here.
You stay here.
Are you coming home with me, later? -Waiter.
Come on,Walter, you've got to go home.
What will become of me? -Start by going home.Come on.
Take it easy. This doesn't help.
What you're doing doesn't help. He's sad.
What you're doing doesn't help. He's sad.
We have to console him.
Pour him a glass.
Don't cry.
Sit a bit further away. You'll only say stupid things.
Take it easy. Easy.
Take it easy. Easy.
Poor Walter.
Poor Walter.
Victoria...
I'm not coming with you.
Are you walking away like that? We were going to talk.
What's the point of talking? We had a good time, but it's over.
We're going through a bad time, but we can work on that.
I don't want to come.I have a guest.
I don't want to come.I have a guest.
What? -Aguest.
Who? -AJapanese man.
AJapanese man? -It's too complicated.A refugee.
An illegal? -I don't know.
He's staying with me for a couple of days.
He's staying with me for a couple of days.
You're coming with me. Your Japanese can wait.
I have to go. -No, you don't have to go.
You can't dump me like that.
I'm not an old shoe. -You're not an old shoe.
I'm not an old shoe. -You're not an old shoe.
But now I'm going.
No, you can't leave me like that.
I don't understand.
Why do you make me suffer so much? I'm only a secondary character.
Why do you make me suffer so much? I'm only a secondary character.
I can't help you.
I don't want to help you. Iwant you to leave.
Can't you help him a bit? -No. Show him out.
Can't you help him a bit? -No. Show him out.
And you too.Out. -Listen...
No.That's it. I don't want to hear it. -Take it easy.
Easy, my ass.Get lost. And you too.Get out.
Easy, my ass.Get lost. And you too.Get out.
Herman... -Shut up.
I have a request.Asmall request. -I don't want to know.
I onlywant one thing and then I'll never be back.
You're pushing your luck. I've done enough for you.
Wait a second...
''I have done enough for you''?
And why don't you do anything for me? I only want my wife back.
I'm not doing anything for anybody. -I want mywife back.
I'm not doing anything for anybody. -I want mywife back.
Nobody can change my mind. From now on, it's my story.
But you did help Edgar. -I don't owe you an explanation.
I want you to go.And you too. -I'm waiting untilWalter leaves.
It's useless. I'm giving no more presents.
It's useless. I'm giving no more presents.
Why not? Give Edgar what he wants and me too.
That's impossible.
Why?
Because you want the same thing.
The same thing? I want Stella.
The same thing? I want Stella.
What do you want?
Can you both leave? Herman's getting upset. It's been enough.
Can you both leave? Herman's getting upset. It's been enough.
What do you want?
God,Walter. I want the same.
What did you say?
What did you say?
You heard me.
Asshole.
But she doesn't want me. She has somebody else.
Who is it? -I don't know.
Did you fuck her? -Yes. No.
Did you fuck her? -Yes. No.
I want Stella back. -Big fucking deal.
She's my wife. I'm married to her, damnit.
She's my wife. I'm married to her, damnit.
So what?
Come, let's have a bath together.
I'll be right there.
Does anybody want to say something?
Shall we go for a drink?
No.
You're taking my sister out.
To a nice restaurant.
And you'll be very nice to her.
Isn't it good?
Yes, it is.
Well, show me you like it.
''Mmm... it's nice.''
Mmm... it's nice.
Can I try yours?
Do you want to try mine?
Do you want to try mine?
Isn't that duck? -Yes.
I don't like duck. -Just a bit.To taste it.
Well?
Delicious. Say:delicious.
It's ridiculous.I don't like duck.
It's ridiculous.I don't like duck.
Edgar needs to go to the bathroom. -I don't need to go to the bathroom.
Is it that difficult? You have to be nice. Really nice.
Or do you want me to beat you up?
Later, at the table, you take her hand and you say sweet things to her.
In a convincing manner.
I ordered your favourite desert.
Asorbet? -No, semolina pudding.
Isn't that your favourite desert?
Where did you get that idea? I hate semolina pudding.
Your desert, sir.
I warned you.
Waiter.
Do what you have to do.
Oh, my darling.
Oh, my darling.
Victoria.
That's enough.
I believe my sister wants to give you a second chance.
I'll pick you up at 7.We'll go to the movies and then we'll see.
Damn.
But why, damnit.
Threaten them, scare them, that's all I wanted.
You should have said so. -I did say so.
You didn't say so. You said: I want to get rid of them.
That doesn't mean kill them. -I don't agree.
I said nothing should happen to them. -Nothing did happen to them.
They're dead. -Yes, but they don't know, do they?
They're lucky. Instantly dead. Don't we all like to end like that?
And about the money. How do you want to pay?
The money? -30,000 euros, as agreed.
Did you think it was free?
I'm hiding a hit man. Did you hear me about money?
That's why you got a discount.
What do you think a double liquidation costs normally?
What do I know? -Double, asshole.You got a bargain.
I don't have 30,000 euros.
In a week, you'll have half. In two weeks, you'll have the rest.
Herman...
I'm very calm. I won't stay long.Promise.
Herman, let me in.
I know you're there.
Herman's asleep. -Can't you wake him up?
That's not a good idea.
It's not funny, Suzie. He's making my life more and more miserable.
Where the hell do I find
I don't know. I have to sleep. -Suzie, you've got to help me.
The first week ends tomorrow.
I don't have it.
15,000 euros.
Tomorrow, at 4 o'clock.
15,000 euros. To the last cent.
Shit.
I don't know how to continue. I hate this Edgar.
He needs a weapon. You must give him a weapon.
Aweapon? -Yes.
You want Richard and Sieb dead, don't you?
So Edgar must have a weapon, no?
So he suddenly finds a weapon?
Yes, he suddenly finds a weapon. Write:
''Edgar walks in the street.''
''He turns the corner...''
''...and walks into a shabby little street.''
How much for the bow and arrow in the shop-window?
Yes, alright.
I don't want you coming here. You shouldn't be here.
You're never happy. I free you from a big debt but you're not happy.
By making me kill two people. -You stay out of it.
I want to know what else you have lined up for me.
I'm not answering any of your questions anymore.
I've got it. I know what to do to stop you from coming here.
No more adventures. From now on, you'll be bored.
To Edgar.
Wait, I haven't finished.
Everything that will happen to Edgar today, has been arranged by Walter.
To Walter,who's no longer among us.
To Walter.
EDGAR 25 YEARS WAITER
Good soup.
Shit, man, what are you doing?
Suzie, please don't talk to me anymore.
Don't talk? I can no longer talk?
You can say''Good morning, Herman''. ''Can I pour you a glass?''
But nothing about my story. Nothing.
So now I'm good for nothing? -Yes.
Fuck up your story then. -You already fucked it up.
Without my ideas, this story would suck.
It sucks right now.
In the second version, I'll delete everything you came up with.
You're such an asshole. -Fuck off.
Does the bus driver know he has to pick us up?
Yes, of course he knows.
Give them a ring.
I don't have their number.
What's the name of the company?
I don't know.
Can we get on board?
What's happening?
Suzie, open up.
Open up.
Suzie, open up.
Suzie, open up.
Bye, Herman.
Suzie?
Suzie?
What kind of madness is this? Fucking stupid scribbler.
You drowned two girls? Do you want to drive me mad?
I never wrote that. Suzie did.
How could she mess up your text? -It was just an accident.
Who fucking writes what here? -It was just an accident.
She's bloodywriting part of your text. -It was just an accident.
And don't worry that it happens again, because Suzie left.
And now what? -No idea. it's fucked up.
Tell me what you want. Deliverance?
Yes, that's what I want. -A happy end.
What's wrong with that? -Nothing.
I want Stella back. -You won't be happy with her.
Stella's an unstable woman. -Just change that.
As you wish.
So you give me Stella back?
Yes.
I don't trust you. -Tough luck.
You have something else in mind.
Everything will be alright, Edgar. Everything will be alright.
Really.
Waiter.
Good evening.
Abottle ofwhite wine.Your best.
Have you made a choice yet?
No.
Acceptable.
Have you made your choice? -Yes.
Thanks.
I'll have the cod.
With mustard sauce? -Yes.
Me too.
Are you having the same as me?
And why not?
We can't have the same thing. Order something else.
I feel like cod. -Didn't you hear what I said?
Asteak. Medium rare.
Why are you wearing so much make-up?
Didn't we go out?
Where are you going? -To the bathroom.
How are you?
Good.
Go away.
Are you still angry?
No.
I have to go back, Edgar. Or I'll get into trouble.
Stella.
Where's Edgar?
THE END
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