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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,230
Push harder! Push!
2
00:00:03,280 --> 00:00:05,111
Push! Come on!
3
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:07,435
Why do I always have to be
the alien queen?
4
00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:09,550
Shut up, Robin, you girl!
5
00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:12,160
Sir! Robin's being a pussy!
6
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:15,160
He's giving birth to a lizard, Dennis.
It's going to sting a bit, isn't it?
7
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,031
They've got those head spikes.
8
00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:18,991
Is this going to help me get a job
when I leave school?
9
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:22,999
No, probably not. But here's a thought -
being likeable might give you the edge.
10
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:25,315
Shut up, Karen! Drama is wicked!
11
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,033
- Beard!
- Not beard, Aaron. Drama
is wicked.
12
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,116
- Chinny reckon.
- You don't chinny-reckon me.
13
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:34,312
He can beard me. That's his thing.
Don't even think about doing GCSE drama.
14
00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:38,478
Why would I take this bullshit when
I'm in the top stream for everything else?
15
00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:40,875
Ho-ho! Ltchy chin, you are,
cos you've got a pushy mum.
16
00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:41,955
Who thinks you're a knob.
17
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,468
I can see the head! I can see the head!
18
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,158
Push it! Come on! Robin!
19
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:47,792
You pussy!
20
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:51,276
Mr Davies, can I see you a minute?
21
00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:54,312
Well, can it wait? As you can see,
Miss Lipsey, I have a class, so...
22
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:55,634
Er...
23
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:59,355
No, I'm kidding. Of course.
Carry on with the module, everyone.
24
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,358
And if the baby is born,
don't trust Karen with it.
25
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,230
I hate you.
26
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:22,000
Ripped By mstoll
27
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,711
If you've called me out here
to arrange sex,
28
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,035
we're going to have to go
to your stationery cupboard.
29
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,069
I've lost the keys to mine.
30
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,236
Dennis's uncle has had a heart attack.
31
00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:40,599
Oh, God. When?
32
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,757
Last night. It's a worry
because he's very close to him.
33
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,916
I know. He hero-worships him.
34
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:49,919
He told me he threw a Labrador
on top of a shed once. He didn't say why.
35
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,871
Has he been acting strangely?
36
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:53,717
Push it out, lizard bitch!
37
00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:55,716
No, not at all.
38
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,830
This is the problem.
His uncle is in hospital,
39
00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:01,031
and we've just found out that
his mum has broken her parole.
40
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,913
- Again?
- Yeah, so there's no-one to pick him up.
41
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,633
He's going to have to spend
the weekend with social services.
42
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:08,079
Oh, God.
43
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,873
I mean, they're just not allowed
a childhood, some of these kids.
44
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:16,588
Are... are you sure
this is a good idea?
45
00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,517
It's all under control.
46
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:23,236
A lot of people think I'd make an amazing
dad, and there's a reason for that.
47
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:24,713
I empathise.
48
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:26,478
Sir! Your car's shit!
49
00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:30,354
Yeah? At least I've got a car, haven't I,
mate? What have you got? A kite?
50
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,436
But, Dan, what are you
going to do with him?
51
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,675
Social services are insistent
on this two-adult rule.
52
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:37,439
Emma, it's sorted.
53
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,118
I had an idyllic childhood,
54
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:42,869
and I'm not going to allow a broken
society to steal Dennis's off him.
55
00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:47,277
Maybe Alistair from maths would be
too busy nibbling away on his tofu
56
00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,629
to give an orphan a lovely weekend.
57
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:50,908
But, hey.
58
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,155
Yeah, my second responsible adult.
59
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,589
What's going on?
60
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:58,791
I've got stuff to do.
This outfit isn't designed for running.
61
00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,718
I've just made a load of builders boo.
62
00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:03,869
All right?
63
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:08,517
No, I'm busy.
64
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:11,120
Use your mum or Aunt Nesta.
65
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:13,958
Oh, that's a good idea, isn't it?
What shall we do tonight, Dennis?
66
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,433
Shall we watch an old lady
drink her body weight in tea,
67
00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,040
or a different old lady
punch a horse in the kipper?
68
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:21,117
Sorry, mate.
The new company's really kicking off.
69
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:25,233
Execustress.
"Less stress, more success, in bizness.
70
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:26,872
"My card."
71
00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:29,115
I have tried to tell you,
that's not a saying.
72
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:30,912
You actually have to have a card.
73
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:35,556
Sir, can you just take me home
and go out with your girlfriend? I'm fine.
74
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,318
She's not my girlfriend, mate.
75
00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:40,272
No. Although when he's drunk,
he does say he'd like a go on my bangers.
76
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:44,518
- Bangers means roller skates, Dennis.
- I thought it meant tits.
77
00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,438
And I wasn't drunk anyway.
I'd just had a tetanus.
78
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,836
Sir, it's weird staying at your teacher's.
Can I just go home?
79
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:57,832
- You must be Dennis!
- Ignore her, Dennis. Literally blank her.
80
00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:01,316
Come on in! I've made some squash!
81
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:02,509
What's squash?
82
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,835
It's an insipid drink
favoured by the elderly, Dennis.
83
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,633
It's like water that's been
shown a picture of a lemon.
84
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,636
Take no notice of him, Dennis.
85
00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:14,754
Daniel loves squash. I bring him one
every night before his bath.
86
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,313
I pour it down the sink.
87
00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:20,317
How old are you, sir?
88
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:30,676
That's it. It's important
to really get him on edge.
89
00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:33,553
Dennis, get away from her.
She's not like us.
90
00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:35,352
Nesta is taking me on a hunt, sir.
91
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,799
Right, our day out
92
00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:40,196
is not going to involve going on some
leather-faced maniac's wildlife genocide.
93
00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,073
We're not hunting a real one, anyway, sir.
94
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:44,758
Sadly, it's not allowed these days,
95
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,439
because Tony Blair
wants to have sex with them.
96
00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,199
So, Barry is our quarry.
97
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:51,798
Oh, right. And you're OK
with this, are you, mate?
98
00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:53,558
- Course not.
- Dennis.
99
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,511
Get your bike.
We're going on an adventure.
100
00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:58,120
And where exactly are you taking him
on this incredible journey?
101
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:00,116
We're going down the café.
102
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:04,199
Huh! Or would you rather stay here
and ride Barry to ground?
103
00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:07,118
- Wicked!
- Let's get him doused.
104
00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:08,434
I'm a person!
105
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,471
Um, what is?
106
00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,670
Oh...!
107
00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:13,789
Is this fox piss?
108
00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:15,796
Give that back to the boy!
109
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:19,150
Our rites-of-passage day
will be innocent and heart-warming
110
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,792
and impress the woman
I want to have sex with.
111
00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:23,877
Let the boy find his inner beast.
112
00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:27,276
Fuck off. We've got plans.
It's going to be like
Stand By Me.
113
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:31,113
- Oh!
- Oh!
114
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:32,798
Oh! Oh!
115
00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,956
Aaah! Aaah!
116
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,230
- Aaah!
- Dennis, we're leaving.
117
00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:39,430
- How?
- What?
118
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,550
I hear you need a second adult.
119
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:45,593
And your mother is helping to knit
a massive scarf for cancer today, so...
120
00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:47,596
You monster.
121
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,356
Er... mate, do you deliver post?
122
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,311
Of course. Why do you think
I'm dressed like this?
123
00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,079
Let me finish. To St Martin's Drive?
124
00:05:58,120 --> 00:05:59,758
Yeah.
125
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:04,396
Get your bike, Dennis, I'll go and change.
The road trip is back on.
126
00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:05,714
Oh.
127
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:14,429
This is what it's all about, Dennis.
Days of yore.
128
00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:17,438
Just two kids on classic bikes.
129
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,789
Hey! Oggy, oggy, oggy!
130
00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,592
Get fucked, you paedo!
131
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,599
What bike
is this, sir?
132
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,039
It's the legendary Raleigh Grifter,
Dennis.
133
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,559
It's shit.
134
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,556
What is wrong with you kids?
135
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:36,438
Remember to keep breathing.
136
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,232
Sweet.
137
00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:39,918
Really nice, Peter.
138
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:43,077
Remember the Execustress mantra.
139
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:45,918
"Stress? Do one.
140
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,554
"Seriously, fuck off!"
141
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,797
- Are you actually qualified in t'ai chi?
- I'm not making it up, am I?
142
00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:55,150
Anyway, we're moving on to
the next phase now. Controlled crying.
143
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,077
So, get out the bags I gave you earlier.
144
00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,914
When stress builds up,
it can affect people in a really bad way.
145
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:04,748
An uncle of mine
once shat in a pram. So...
146
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,429
I'm really sorry, but I was wondering
if I could go back to the office?
147
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:11,392
I thought this would help,
but I... I don't think it is.
148
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,192
Peter, focus.
149
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,949
You are holding
a scientific crying mixture.
150
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,389
Noses in... and breathe.
151
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,319
Argh! Fuck!
152
00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:25,432
- Aaargh!
- Aaah!
153
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,994
Aaagh!
154
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,508
Aaah! Aaah! Aaah!
155
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,518
Aaah! Fuck!
156
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,394
OK. I think I overcooked the turps again.
157
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:05,234
Oi! Put that away, mate.
The real adventure's about to start.
158
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:16,469
Hello.
159
00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,556
Me and Dennis, we're going down the caff
and that. Are you up for it?
160
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,875
No, of course not.
161
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:21,909
Hello, Dennis.
162
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,791
Nice shorts
163
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:28,669
Come on, mate, it's going to be awesome.
It's going to be like the old days.
164
00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:30,631
Plus, I want to show Emma
what an incredible dad I am,
165
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,318
and I need another adult with me.
166
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,432
Have you lost your mind? And I'm painting.
167
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,198
You bloody square!
168
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,312
Shh. Keep it down, for Christ's sake.
Julia's asleep in the lounge.
169
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:43,193
Sorry, Dennis.
Brian's been grounded.
170
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:46,118
- No, I haven't.
- He's not allowed out.
171
00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,390
Probably just as well.
He's got a shit bike.
172
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,635
He wouldn't have kept up with us anyway.
173
00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:51,669
What did you say?
174
00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,389
Sir's right. You really are boring.
175
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:10,954
Dungeons & Dragons is not boring.
176
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,753
A lot more rewarding
than this neon nonsense. I mean, it's...
177
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,718
Sniper! Sniper on the roof!
178
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,479
God. That must have been his jugular.
179
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,909
Here we go.
180
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,393
Milk?
181
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,671
Whole lotta bottle! Nothing like it, was
there, Brian? Glass of the white stuff.
182
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,915
Gear us up for an adventure.
183
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,076
Oh, I feel like a kid again.
184
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,076
Oh, look what I bought, Dennis.
185
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:43,588
Guess who's back in town, Brian!
186
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:44,993
Oh, God.
187
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:46,155
Bubble gum?
188
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:49,556
- Tell him what they used to call me.
- They used to call you Dan.
189
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,670
I presume you're referring
to the name you gave yourself?
190
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:52,675
Which was?
191
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:54,949
Daddy Big-Bubbles.
192
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,992
D to the B!
Remember that one I blew at school?
193
00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:00,679
Yes, because
I had to cut it out of Jo's hair.
194
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:02,153
It was fucking massive, Dennis.
195
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,269
Why do
you remember it?
196
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:06,392
I remember all of my awesomeness
from school. Honestly!
197
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:07,759
You want to be careful, mate.
198
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,792
We might have a game
of Table Of Squash later.
199
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,398
What's Table Of Squash?
200
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:14,590
I used to push this idiot
into tables of drinks in the canteen.
201
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,871
He went down like a pasty Bambi.
202
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:20,832
Ah, see!
203
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:24,077
The old people
aren't so boring now, are they? Ah.
204
00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:26,111
Did you used to have a laugh at school,
Shakira?
205
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:27,957
I'm not your fucking friend.
206
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,796
Nightmare.
Everyone's dropped off the course.
207
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:36,875
No way!
208
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,798
Yeah. Peter almost got hit
by a car, running away.
209
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:43,913
Making good progress as well.
I thought they were ready for level three.
210
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:45,949
Remember this?
211
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,514
Oh, my God!
212
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:52,030
- The furry periscope.
- The furry periscope.
213
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,036
Oh, no.
214
00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:00,277
- Brian, are you in or out?
- I'm out.
215
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,914
This was bloody irresponsible
when we were at school.
216
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,837
I'll look after Dennis's game.
217
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:06,711
I need to save some battery!
218
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,478
Well?
219
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:14,873
OK, guys,
inside this building are filing clerks.
220
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:16,717
They are extremely angry
with how rubbish their lives are.
221
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,877
We're here to push them over the edge.
222
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,956
There are two ways
they can get to us when they crack -
223
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,752
via the corridor and the east rear doors,
224
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,392
which, if memory serves me
right, Brian, that's a...
225
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:26,759
35-second run.
226
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:30,031
One round, then we take a quick rest for a
couple of levels on Dennis's game, right?
227
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,355
- No!
- Selfer.
228
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,436
35 seconds sounds like a lot of time.
It isn't.
229
00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:37,552
Now, remember,
if a soldier is de-parka-ed,
230
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:40,353
he never identifies the others.
231
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,039
- It's like
Fight Club.
- It isn't. Break!
232
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:49,834
This is insane.
233
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:53,111
OK, everyone, let's do this. One...
234
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:54,479
Actually, I think I'm out.
235
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,317
Take short, sharp breaths, Brian.
Own the tension.
236
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:57,349
...two...
237
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:00,709
...three...
238
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:05,310
...go!
- Argh!
239
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:07,469
Hold.
240
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,110
Hold.
241
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:13,349
Hold...
242
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:17,637
What the hell are you doing?
243
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,718
- Hold.
- Get away from here.
244
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:24,432
Break!
245
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:26,471
Ooh! Pie break!
246
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:28,238
Ridiculous.
247
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,475
I told you it would be a rush.
Are you buzzing, Dennis?
248
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,397
What's the point of this, sir?
249
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:33,475
Repo!
250
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:41,230
One, two, three, go!
251
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:45,748
Oh, my God, Peter. Peter?
252
00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:48,353
Peter!
253
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,391
Ah!
254
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:55,070
Why have we stopped?
I've just told Julia I'm heading home.
255
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,031
Look.
256
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,878
Remember this? Box Hill.
257
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,876
Of course I remember it.
It was humiliating.
258
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,751
You almost made it, though,
didn't you, Dan?
259
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,756
- Very nearly.
- What is it?
260
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,189
Dan was being chased by Geoff Doogan
261
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:09,719
and decided the best course of action
262
00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:12,718
would be to ride down
the sheer face of this hill.
263
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:16,036
And I almost made it.
It was incredible, Dennis.
264
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:17,957
You reminded me of that guy
dressed all in white. What was his name?
265
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,479
Evel Knievel.
266
00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:21,750
No, Ryan Tilley. Worked at the dairy.
267
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,997
Excuse me! You didn't almost make it.
268
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:26,632
You got about 20 feet
and then you came off
269
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,069
and crushed your testicles
on the crossbar of your Chopper.
270
00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,759
And who had to spend five hours
with you in A&E? Muggins.
271
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,597
Well, the world would be a pretty dull
place if we were all like you,
272
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:34,629
wouldn't it, mate?
273
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:37,319
Yeah. The world needs adventurers.
274
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:40,238
A push-bike isn't designed
for extreme hill descent.
275
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,238
If you'd spent a little more time
listening in physics lessons
276
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:46,033
and a little less time drawing pictures
of Yogi Bear fellating himself,
277
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,274
you might have known that!
278
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,356
What's that?
279
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,231
At last, some innocence!
280
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,999
You'll find out about all that in good
time, you cheeky young scamp.
281
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:58,272
I know what
that is, for fuck's sake!
What the hell's Yogi Bear?
282
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,993
See what I mean? It's a ruined generation.
283
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,236
It's a bored one.
284
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:09,555
We could go to Pea-head Stanley's house
and throw stones at the window.
285
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,830
Old man Stanley was 80
30 years ago.
286
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:15,156
Brian, we are having a great day out!
287
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,872
All right, we could, um...
288
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,388
- could, um...
- Knock down ginger!
289
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:20,873
- Yes!
- No!
290
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,150
Brian, it's the ultimate test of nerve.
291
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,714
There's a lot of stress in the group.
We need to manage this.
292
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:29,992
I'm a 40-year-old financial advisor.
I'm not playing knock down ginger.
293
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,393
Get that away from me.
294
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:33,078
What are we doing now?
295
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:37,352
I'm going to go down here and knock on
this door and we're all going to run away.
296
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,597
I'm not being funny, but you three must've
been the biggest losers at your school.
297
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,313
Oh, yeah? We'll see about that.
298
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,032
No. No!
299
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:49,949
Get ready.
300
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:53,514
Hello. Come on in.
301
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,437
Oh. Oh, no, we were just...
302
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,711
Come on. Tommy's missus
is about to say a few words.
303
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,228
- But...
- Come on!
304
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,231
- Oh, my God.
- Remember.
305
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,510
Today is all about family.
306
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:25,836
Tommy loved you all
like you was brothers and sisters.
307
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:27,996
You remember his words?
308
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:30,270
"We all look after each other.
309
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:35,997
"If anyone disrespects our family,
we cut their fucking faces off!"
310
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:38,600
Yeah! Yes!
311
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,348
She seems well upset.
312
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,755
- Almost stressed.
- No.
313
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,598
Looks like Execustress's work
isn't finished yet, boys.
314
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:51,995
Stay here, you clown. They're psychopaths.
315
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:56,389
Friends of Tommy's?
316
00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:01,036
Yeah... yeah.
Yeah, yeah, big-time.
317
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,991
Yeah? How did you know him?
318
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:08,398
From, er... down the old, er...
down the old matches down the Lane.
319
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,192
I fucking love the Lane, you know.
320
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,708
- Anyway, who are you, son?
- I'm his brother.
321
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:16,469
I don't remember him going down the Lane
with a lanky streak of piss.
322
00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:19,478
- Well, he sat next to me, so...
- Yeah? Even in the '90s?
323
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,637
Especially in the '90s. Glory days.
324
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,035
- When Tommy was in prison?
- Now, then, we don't want any trouble.
325
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,354
Who the fuck are you?
326
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,516
Eh!
327
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,677
Surely you... you recognise
Tommy's cellmate?
328
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,757
- What?
- Tommy didn't do bird with a posh prick!
329
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,995
Hey, have a bit of respect.
330
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,031
What were you in for?
331
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,196
Well, fucking tell him.
332
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:49,149
- TV licence?
- Well, yeah.
333
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,473
The adverts are right.
They really will get you.
334
00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:57,399
OK, that's it. Boys! Unwanted guests!
335
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,790
Here, you're Donnie, ain't ya?
336
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,957
Maybe I am, yeah. Is that good?
337
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,798
- Donnie, big mate of Tommy's.
- Yeah.
338
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:09,877
- Yeah, yeah!
- Donnie! It's Donnie!
339
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,434
I fucking told you, you muppet!
340
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:17,031
I've a good mind to make you
smile for ever, you... you cunt!
341
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,198
Sir, what's going on? I'm bored shitless.
342
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:26,356
Why is he calling you sir?
343
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,436
Well, cos he knows
he'll get a clump if he doesn't.
344
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:31,836
He's got a bit of respect since I threw
his Labrador on top of a shed.
345
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,314
But you know Donnie. Ooh!
346
00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:36,874
- Do the thing then, Donnie.
- What thing?
347
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,399
Oh! Donnie!
348
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:41,750
- You did the party thing!
- Do the thing!
349
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,313
I don't think
he should do the thing today.
350
00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:44,634
Shut the fuck up, shorts.
351
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,194
- I can't do the thing at his funeral.
- Do it.
352
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,559
Do it!
353
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,353
Do the thing! Do the thing!
354
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,994
Do the thing! Do the thing!
355
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,998
- Do the thing! Do the thing!
- I'm gonna do it.
356
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,553
- I'm gonna do the thing.
- Do the thing!
357
00:17:58,600 --> 00:17:59,635
- I'm gonna do it.
- Do the thing!
358
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:00,908
I'm gonna do the thing.
I'm gonna do the thing.
359
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,076
- Do the thing! Do the thing!
- Uh-huh!
360
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:04,917
Do the thing!
- Uh-huh! I'm gonna do the thing.
361
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:08,350
- Uh-huh, yeah...
- Do the thing! Do the thing!
362
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:10,595
Do the thing! Do the thing!
363
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:12,551
Do the thing!
364
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,791
Arrgh!
365
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:40,038
She's put fucking curry powder
up my schnoz!
366
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:41,513
It's... it's science.
367
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:43,835
Who the fuck are you people?
368
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,791
Guys, listen...
369
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,316
Table Of Squash!
370
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,710
- Where are ya?
- Fucking come out!
371
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,999
Where are you? Fucking...
372
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,996
Come on, boys!
373
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,314
- Let's have 'em!
- We'll have 'em!
374
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:02,874
Keep your eyes peeled wherever they are!
375
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,870
OK, that's it.
376
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,239
Oh, come on. It was fun.
377
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:15,590
It wasn't fun. It was bloody dangerous.
I think I've bruised my ribs.
378
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,598
- Dennis, pass me the game.
- No! Get your own game!
379
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,871
Guys, we've had a difficult time.
I think we should do some stretches.
380
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,195
Oh, Jo, we are not on your bloody course!
381
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,310
We're having a fun day out.
382
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:29,079
OK, Dennis, we're going to go up
the vicarage and nick some apples.
383
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:32,829
- Why?
- Cos it's fun! We're having a fun day!
384
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,917
Brian, have you still got
that magnifying glass you used to have?
385
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,030
- We could burn some holes in leaves.
- I'm going home.
386
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,878
- You're not going in?
- I'm already in trouble. I'm going in.
387
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,276
Brian! Just because
he won't let you play on his game?
388
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,949
You go in, you're not hanging out
with us any more! I mean it!
389
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,672
Fine! I don't want
to hang out with you anyway!
390
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,711
Peter!
391
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,115
- Oh, no.
- What have you done to yourself?
392
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:57,593
- No, please!
- Wait, I can help.
393
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,359
- Jo, no! The two adult...
- I can help you, Peter!
394
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,834
- Keep away!
- The two-adult rule.
395
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,995
Pretty rubbish day, eh?
396
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,600
Nah, it was OK, sir.
397
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:18,317
I don't suppose you'd tell Miss Lipsey it
was the best day of your whole childhood,
398
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:19,349
would you?
399
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:21,949
I suppose.
400
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:27,518
And just a thought. Maybe you could,
like, if it doesn't seem too over the top,
401
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,755
you could tell her
I'm like the dad you never had.
402
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,872
I... I mean, it's up to you.
403
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:33,955
Sir...
404
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,992
Just... try calling me Dad.
405
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:38,359
Sir!
406
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:42,359
You disrespected my fella's funeral,
you bubble-blowing prick!
407
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,118
Dead meat!
408
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,673
Ride, Dennis!
409
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,870
Ride! Ride!
410
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,150
Come on, boys!
411
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,873
I'm sorry, Dennis. I did my best by you.
412
00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:01,399
Come on! Come on!
413
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,671
They won't hurt you. I'll face them.
414
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,199
Yes! Come on!
415
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,679
- It's doable.
- What?
416
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:14,269
We can get down on this,
even on these shit bikes.
417
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:17,471
No! Dennis!
418
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:18,509
Yeah!
419
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:32,309
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
420
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,356
- Get away from me!
- I'm trying to help you!
421
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:40,279
- Leave me alone!
- Peter! Breathe into this bag, Peter!
422
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,396
Just leave me alone!
423
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,113
Oh! Ooh! Oh!
424
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:50,197
- Peter!
- Aaargh! Oh!
425
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,993
Wanker!
426
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,758
Leave him alone! He ain't worth it.
427
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:00,630
- Oh! Oh!
- Peter!
428
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,114
- Please! Please just leave me alone!
- All right.
429
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:04,832
- Stay away from me!
- Good.
430
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:06,233
- Peter!
- OK.
431
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,117
That was my mum, sir.
432
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,674
Huh. My uncle's fine.
433
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,233
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
434
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,350
Oh, good.
435
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,472
- I think I might go home.
- Yeah.
436
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:35,156
Aargh! Aaargh!
437
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:38,158
You can run, Barry,
but you can't hide!
438
00:23:06,500 --> 00:23:14,500
Ripped By mstoll
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