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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,230 Push harder! Push! 2 00:00:03,280 --> 00:00:05,111 Push! Come on! 3 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:07,435 Why do I always have to be the alien queen? 4 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:09,550 Shut up, Robin, you girl! 5 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:12,160 Sir! Robin's being a pussy! 6 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:15,160 He's giving birth to a lizard, Dennis. It's going to sting a bit, isn't it? 7 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,031 They've got those head spikes. 8 00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:18,991 Is this going to help me get a job when I leave school? 9 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:22,999 No, probably not. But here's a thought - being likeable might give you the edge. 10 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:25,315 Shut up, Karen! Drama is wicked! 11 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,033 - Beard! - Not beard, Aaron. Drama is wicked. 12 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,116 - Chinny reckon. - You don't chinny-reckon me. 13 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:34,312 He can beard me. That's his thing. Don't even think about doing GCSE drama. 14 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:38,478 Why would I take this bullshit when I'm in the top stream for everything else? 15 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:40,875 Ho-ho! Ltchy chin, you are, cos you've got a pushy mum. 16 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:41,955 Who thinks you're a knob. 17 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,468 I can see the head! I can see the head! 18 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,158 Push it! Come on! Robin! 19 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:47,792 You pussy! 20 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:51,276 Mr Davies, can I see you a minute? 21 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:54,312 Well, can it wait? As you can see, Miss Lipsey, I have a class, so... 22 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:55,634 Er... 23 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:59,355 No, I'm kidding. Of course. Carry on with the module, everyone. 24 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,358 And if the baby is born, don't trust Karen with it. 25 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,230 I hate you. 26 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:22,000 Ripped By mstoll 27 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,711 If you've called me out here to arrange sex, 28 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,035 we're going to have to go to your stationery cupboard. 29 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,069 I've lost the keys to mine. 30 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,236 Dennis's uncle has had a heart attack. 31 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:40,599 Oh, God. When? 32 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,757 Last night. It's a worry because he's very close to him. 33 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,916 I know. He hero-worships him. 34 00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:49,919 He told me he threw a Labrador on top of a shed once. He didn't say why. 35 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,871 Has he been acting strangely? 36 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:53,717 Push it out, lizard bitch! 37 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:55,716 No, not at all. 38 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,830 This is the problem. His uncle is in hospital, 39 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:01,031 and we've just found out that his mum has broken her parole. 40 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,913 - Again? - Yeah, so there's no-one to pick him up. 41 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,633 He's going to have to spend the weekend with social services. 42 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:08,079 Oh, God. 43 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,873 I mean, they're just not allowed a childhood, some of these kids. 44 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:16,588 Are... are you sure this is a good idea? 45 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,517 It's all under control. 46 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:23,236 A lot of people think I'd make an amazing dad, and there's a reason for that. 47 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:24,713 I empathise. 48 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:26,478 Sir! Your car's shit! 49 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:30,354 Yeah? At least I've got a car, haven't I, mate? What have you got? A kite? 50 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,436 But, Dan, what are you going to do with him? 51 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,675 Social services are insistent on this two-adult rule. 52 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:37,439 Emma, it's sorted. 53 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,118 I had an idyllic childhood, 54 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:42,869 and I'm not going to allow a broken society to steal Dennis's off him. 55 00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:47,277 Maybe Alistair from maths would be too busy nibbling away on his tofu 56 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,629 to give an orphan a lovely weekend. 57 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:50,908 But, hey. 58 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,155 Yeah, my second responsible adult. 59 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,589 What's going on? 60 00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:58,791 I've got stuff to do. This outfit isn't designed for running. 61 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,718 I've just made a load of builders boo. 62 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:03,869 All right? 63 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:08,517 No, I'm busy. 64 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:11,120 Use your mum or Aunt Nesta. 65 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:13,958 Oh, that's a good idea, isn't it? What shall we do tonight, Dennis? 66 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,433 Shall we watch an old lady drink her body weight in tea, 67 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,040 or a different old lady punch a horse in the kipper? 68 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:21,117 Sorry, mate. The new company's really kicking off. 69 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:25,233 Execustress. "Less stress, more success, in bizness. 70 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:26,872 "My card." 71 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:29,115 I have tried to tell you, that's not a saying. 72 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:30,912 You actually have to have a card. 73 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:35,556 Sir, can you just take me home and go out with your girlfriend? I'm fine. 74 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,318 She's not my girlfriend, mate. 75 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:40,272 No. Although when he's drunk, he does say he'd like a go on my bangers. 76 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:44,518 - Bangers means roller skates, Dennis. - I thought it meant tits. 77 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,438 And I wasn't drunk anyway. I'd just had a tetanus. 78 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,836 Sir, it's weird staying at your teacher's. Can I just go home? 79 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:57,832 - You must be Dennis! - Ignore her, Dennis. Literally blank her. 80 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:01,316 Come on in! I've made some squash! 81 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:02,509 What's squash? 82 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,835 It's an insipid drink favoured by the elderly, Dennis. 83 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,633 It's like water that's been shown a picture of a lemon. 84 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,636 Take no notice of him, Dennis. 85 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:14,754 Daniel loves squash. I bring him one every night before his bath. 86 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,313 I pour it down the sink. 87 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:20,317 How old are you, sir? 88 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:30,676 That's it. It's important to really get him on edge. 89 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:33,553 Dennis, get away from her. She's not like us. 90 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:35,352 Nesta is taking me on a hunt, sir. 91 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,799 Right, our day out 92 00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:40,196 is not going to involve going on some leather-faced maniac's wildlife genocide. 93 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,073 We're not hunting a real one, anyway, sir. 94 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:44,758 Sadly, it's not allowed these days, 95 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,439 because Tony Blair wants to have sex with them. 96 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,199 So, Barry is our quarry. 97 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:51,798 Oh, right. And you're OK with this, are you, mate? 98 00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:53,558 - Course not. - Dennis. 99 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,511 Get your bike. We're going on an adventure. 100 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:58,120 And where exactly are you taking him on this incredible journey? 101 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:00,116 We're going down the café. 102 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:04,199 Huh! Or would you rather stay here and ride Barry to ground? 103 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:07,118 - Wicked! - Let's get him doused. 104 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:08,434 I'm a person! 105 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,471 Um, what is? 106 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,670 Oh...! 107 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:13,789 Is this fox piss? 108 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:15,796 Give that back to the boy! 109 00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:19,150 Our rites-of-passage day will be innocent and heart-warming 110 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,792 and impress the woman I want to have sex with. 111 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:23,877 Let the boy find his inner beast. 112 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:27,276 Fuck off. We've got plans. It's going to be like Stand By Me. 113 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:31,113 - Oh! - Oh! 114 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:32,798 Oh! Oh! 115 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,956 Aaah! Aaah! 116 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,230 - Aaah! - Dennis, we're leaving. 117 00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:39,430 - How? - What? 118 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,550 I hear you need a second adult. 119 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:45,593 And your mother is helping to knit a massive scarf for cancer today, so... 120 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:47,596 You monster. 121 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,356 Er... mate, do you deliver post? 122 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,311 Of course. Why do you think I'm dressed like this? 123 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,079 Let me finish. To St Martin's Drive? 124 00:05:58,120 --> 00:05:59,758 Yeah. 125 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:04,396 Get your bike, Dennis, I'll go and change. The road trip is back on. 126 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:05,714 Oh. 127 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:14,429 This is what it's all about, Dennis. Days of yore. 128 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:17,438 Just two kids on classic bikes. 129 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,789 Hey! Oggy, oggy, oggy! 130 00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,592 Get fucked, you paedo! 131 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,599 What bike is this, sir? 132 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,039 It's the legendary Raleigh Grifter, Dennis. 133 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,559 It's shit. 134 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,556 What is wrong with you kids? 135 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:36,438 Remember to keep breathing. 136 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,232 Sweet. 137 00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:39,918 Really nice, Peter. 138 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:43,077 Remember the Execustress mantra. 139 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:45,918 "Stress? Do one. 140 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,554 "Seriously, fuck off!" 141 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,797 - Are you actually qualified in t'ai chi? - I'm not making it up, am I? 142 00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:55,150 Anyway, we're moving on to the next phase now. Controlled crying. 143 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,077 So, get out the bags I gave you earlier. 144 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,914 When stress builds up, it can affect people in a really bad way. 145 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:04,748 An uncle of mine once shat in a pram. So... 146 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,429 I'm really sorry, but I was wondering if I could go back to the office? 147 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:11,392 I thought this would help, but I... I don't think it is. 148 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,192 Peter, focus. 149 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,949 You are holding a scientific crying mixture. 150 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,389 Noses in... and breathe. 151 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,319 Argh! Fuck! 152 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:25,432 - Aaargh! - Aaah! 153 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,994 Aaagh! 154 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,508 Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! 155 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,518 Aaah! Fuck! 156 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,394 OK. I think I overcooked the turps again. 157 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:05,234 Oi! Put that away, mate. The real adventure's about to start. 158 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:16,469 Hello. 159 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,556 Me and Dennis, we're going down the caff and that. Are you up for it? 160 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,875 No, of course not. 161 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:21,909 Hello, Dennis. 162 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,791 Nice shorts 163 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:28,669 Come on, mate, it's going to be awesome. It's going to be like the old days. 164 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:30,631 Plus, I want to show Emma what an incredible dad I am, 165 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,318 and I need another adult with me. 166 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,432 Have you lost your mind? And I'm painting. 167 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,198 You bloody square! 168 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,312 Shh. Keep it down, for Christ's sake. Julia's asleep in the lounge. 169 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:43,193 Sorry, Dennis. Brian's been grounded. 170 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:46,118 - No, I haven't. - He's not allowed out. 171 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,390 Probably just as well. He's got a shit bike. 172 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,635 He wouldn't have kept up with us anyway. 173 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:51,669 What did you say? 174 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,389 Sir's right. You really are boring. 175 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:10,954 Dungeons & Dragons is not boring. 176 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,753 A lot more rewarding than this neon nonsense. I mean, it's... 177 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,718 Sniper! Sniper on the roof! 178 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,479 God. That must have been his jugular. 179 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,909 Here we go. 180 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,393 Milk? 181 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,671 Whole lotta bottle! Nothing like it, was there, Brian? Glass of the white stuff. 182 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,915 Gear us up for an adventure. 183 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,076 Oh, I feel like a kid again. 184 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,076 Oh, look what I bought, Dennis. 185 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:43,588 Guess who's back in town, Brian! 186 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:44,993 Oh, God. 187 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:46,155 Bubble gum? 188 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:49,556 - Tell him what they used to call me. - They used to call you Dan. 189 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,670 I presume you're referring to the name you gave yourself? 190 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:52,675 Which was? 191 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:54,949 Daddy Big-Bubbles. 192 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,992 D to the B! Remember that one I blew at school? 193 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:00,679 Yes, because I had to cut it out of Jo's hair. 194 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:02,153 It was fucking massive, Dennis. 195 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,269 Why do you remember it? 196 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:06,392 I remember all of my awesomeness from school. Honestly! 197 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:07,759 You want to be careful, mate. 198 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,792 We might have a game of Table Of Squash later. 199 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,398 What's Table Of Squash? 200 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:14,590 I used to push this idiot into tables of drinks in the canteen. 201 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,871 He went down like a pasty Bambi. 202 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:20,832 Ah, see! 203 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:24,077 The old people aren't so boring now, are they? Ah. 204 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:26,111 Did you used to have a laugh at school, Shakira? 205 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:27,957 I'm not your fucking friend. 206 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,796 Nightmare. Everyone's dropped off the course. 207 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:36,875 No way! 208 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,798 Yeah. Peter almost got hit by a car, running away. 209 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:43,913 Making good progress as well. I thought they were ready for level three. 210 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:45,949 Remember this? 211 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,514 Oh, my God! 212 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:52,030 - The furry periscope. - The furry periscope. 213 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,036 Oh, no. 214 00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:00,277 - Brian, are you in or out? - I'm out. 215 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,914 This was bloody irresponsible when we were at school. 216 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,837 I'll look after Dennis's game. 217 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:06,711 I need to save some battery! 218 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,478 Well? 219 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:14,873 OK, guys, inside this building are filing clerks. 220 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:16,717 They are extremely angry with how rubbish their lives are. 221 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,877 We're here to push them over the edge. 222 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,956 There are two ways they can get to us when they crack - 223 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,752 via the corridor and the east rear doors, 224 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,392 which, if memory serves me right, Brian, that's a... 225 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:26,759 35-second run. 226 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:30,031 One round, then we take a quick rest for a couple of levels on Dennis's game, right? 227 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,355 - No! - Selfer. 228 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,436 35 seconds sounds like a lot of time. It isn't. 229 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:37,552 Now, remember, if a soldier is de-parka-ed, 230 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:40,353 he never identifies the others. 231 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,039 - It's like Fight Club. - It isn't. Break! 232 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:49,834 This is insane. 233 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:53,111 OK, everyone, let's do this. One... 234 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:54,479 Actually, I think I'm out. 235 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,317 Take short, sharp breaths, Brian. Own the tension. 236 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:57,349 ...two... 237 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:00,709 ...three... 238 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:05,310 ...go! - Argh! 239 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:07,469 Hold. 240 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,110 Hold. 241 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:13,349 Hold... 242 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:17,637 What the hell are you doing? 243 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,718 - Hold. - Get away from here. 244 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:24,432 Break! 245 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:26,471 Ooh! Pie break! 246 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:28,238 Ridiculous. 247 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,475 I told you it would be a rush. Are you buzzing, Dennis? 248 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,397 What's the point of this, sir? 249 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:33,475 Repo! 250 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:41,230 One, two, three, go! 251 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:45,748 Oh, my God, Peter. Peter? 252 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:48,353 Peter! 253 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,391 Ah! 254 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:55,070 Why have we stopped? I've just told Julia I'm heading home. 255 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,031 Look. 256 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,878 Remember this? Box Hill. 257 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,876 Of course I remember it. It was humiliating. 258 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,751 You almost made it, though, didn't you, Dan? 259 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,756 - Very nearly. - What is it? 260 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,189 Dan was being chased by Geoff Doogan 261 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:09,719 and decided the best course of action 262 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:12,718 would be to ride down the sheer face of this hill. 263 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:16,036 And I almost made it. It was incredible, Dennis. 264 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:17,957 You reminded me of that guy dressed all in white. What was his name? 265 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,479 Evel Knievel. 266 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:21,750 No, Ryan Tilley. Worked at the dairy. 267 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,997 Excuse me! You didn't almost make it. 268 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:26,632 You got about 20 feet and then you came off 269 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,069 and crushed your testicles on the crossbar of your Chopper. 270 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,759 And who had to spend five hours with you in A&E? Muggins. 271 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,597 Well, the world would be a pretty dull place if we were all like you, 272 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:34,629 wouldn't it, mate? 273 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:37,319 Yeah. The world needs adventurers. 274 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:40,238 A push-bike isn't designed for extreme hill descent. 275 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,238 If you'd spent a little more time listening in physics lessons 276 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:46,033 and a little less time drawing pictures of Yogi Bear fellating himself, 277 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,274 you might have known that! 278 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,356 What's that? 279 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,231 At last, some innocence! 280 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,999 You'll find out about all that in good time, you cheeky young scamp. 281 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:58,272 I know what that is, for fuck's sake! What the hell's Yogi Bear? 282 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,993 See what I mean? It's a ruined generation. 283 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,236 It's a bored one. 284 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:09,555 We could go to Pea-head Stanley's house and throw stones at the window. 285 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,830 Old man Stanley was 80 30 years ago. 286 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:15,156 Brian, we are having a great day out! 287 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,872 All right, we could, um... 288 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,388 - could, um... - Knock down ginger! 289 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:20,873 - Yes! - No! 290 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,150 Brian, it's the ultimate test of nerve. 291 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,714 There's a lot of stress in the group. We need to manage this. 292 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:29,992 I'm a 40-year-old financial advisor. I'm not playing knock down ginger. 293 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,393 Get that away from me. 294 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:33,078 What are we doing now? 295 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:37,352 I'm going to go down here and knock on this door and we're all going to run away. 296 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,597 I'm not being funny, but you three must've been the biggest losers at your school. 297 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,313 Oh, yeah? We'll see about that. 298 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,032 No. No! 299 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:49,949 Get ready. 300 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:53,514 Hello. Come on in. 301 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,437 Oh. Oh, no, we were just... 302 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,711 Come on. Tommy's missus is about to say a few words. 303 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,228 - But... - Come on! 304 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,231 - Oh, my God. - Remember. 305 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,510 Today is all about family. 306 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:25,836 Tommy loved you all like you was brothers and sisters. 307 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:27,996 You remember his words? 308 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:30,270 "We all look after each other. 309 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:35,997 "If anyone disrespects our family, we cut their fucking faces off!" 310 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:38,600 Yeah! Yes! 311 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,348 She seems well upset. 312 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,755 - Almost stressed. - No. 313 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,598 Looks like Execustress's work isn't finished yet, boys. 314 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:51,995 Stay here, you clown. They're psychopaths. 315 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:56,389 Friends of Tommy's? 316 00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:01,036 Yeah... yeah. Yeah, yeah, big-time. 317 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,991 Yeah? How did you know him? 318 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:08,398 From, er... down the old, er... down the old matches down the Lane. 319 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,192 I fucking love the Lane, you know. 320 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,708 - Anyway, who are you, son? - I'm his brother. 321 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:16,469 I don't remember him going down the Lane with a lanky streak of piss. 322 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:19,478 - Well, he sat next to me, so... - Yeah? Even in the '90s? 323 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,637 Especially in the '90s. Glory days. 324 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,035 - When Tommy was in prison? - Now, then, we don't want any trouble. 325 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,354 Who the fuck are you? 326 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,516 Eh! 327 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,677 Surely you... you recognise Tommy's cellmate? 328 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,757 - What? - Tommy didn't do bird with a posh prick! 329 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,995 Hey, have a bit of respect. 330 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,031 What were you in for? 331 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,196 Well, fucking tell him. 332 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:49,149 - TV licence? - Well, yeah. 333 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,473 The adverts are right. They really will get you. 334 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:57,399 OK, that's it. Boys! Unwanted guests! 335 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,790 Here, you're Donnie, ain't ya? 336 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,957 Maybe I am, yeah. Is that good? 337 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,798 - Donnie, big mate of Tommy's. - Yeah. 338 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:09,877 - Yeah, yeah! - Donnie! It's Donnie! 339 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,434 I fucking told you, you muppet! 340 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:17,031 I've a good mind to make you smile for ever, you... you cunt! 341 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,198 Sir, what's going on? I'm bored shitless. 342 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:26,356 Why is he calling you sir? 343 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,436 Well, cos he knows he'll get a clump if he doesn't. 344 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:31,836 He's got a bit of respect since I threw his Labrador on top of a shed. 345 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,314 But you know Donnie. Ooh! 346 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:36,874 - Do the thing then, Donnie. - What thing? 347 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,399 Oh! Donnie! 348 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:41,750 - You did the party thing! - Do the thing! 349 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,313 I don't think he should do the thing today. 350 00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:44,634 Shut the fuck up, shorts. 351 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,194 - I can't do the thing at his funeral. - Do it. 352 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,559 Do it! 353 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,353 Do the thing! Do the thing! 354 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,994 Do the thing! Do the thing! 355 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,998 - Do the thing! Do the thing! - I'm gonna do it. 356 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,553 - I'm gonna do the thing. - Do the thing! 357 00:17:58,600 --> 00:17:59,635 - I'm gonna do it. - Do the thing! 358 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:00,908 I'm gonna do the thing. I'm gonna do the thing. 359 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,076 - Do the thing! Do the thing! - Uh-huh! 360 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:04,917 Do the thing! - Uh-huh! I'm gonna do the thing. 361 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:08,350 - Uh-huh, yeah... - Do the thing! Do the thing! 362 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:10,595 Do the thing! Do the thing! 363 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:12,551 Do the thing! 364 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,791 Arrgh! 365 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:40,038 She's put fucking curry powder up my schnoz! 366 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:41,513 It's... it's science. 367 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:43,835 Who the fuck are you people? 368 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,791 Guys, listen... 369 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,316 Table Of Squash! 370 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,710 - Where are ya? - Fucking come out! 371 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,999 Where are you? Fucking... 372 00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,996 Come on, boys! 373 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,314 - Let's have 'em! - We'll have 'em! 374 00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:02,874 Keep your eyes peeled wherever they are! 375 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,870 OK, that's it. 376 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,239 Oh, come on. It was fun. 377 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:15,590 It wasn't fun. It was bloody dangerous. I think I've bruised my ribs. 378 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,598 - Dennis, pass me the game. - No! Get your own game! 379 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,871 Guys, we've had a difficult time. I think we should do some stretches. 380 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,195 Oh, Jo, we are not on your bloody course! 381 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,310 We're having a fun day out. 382 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:29,079 OK, Dennis, we're going to go up the vicarage and nick some apples. 383 00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:32,829 - Why? - Cos it's fun! We're having a fun day! 384 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,917 Brian, have you still got that magnifying glass you used to have? 385 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,030 - We could burn some holes in leaves. - I'm going home. 386 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,878 - You're not going in? - I'm already in trouble. I'm going in. 387 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,276 Brian! Just because he won't let you play on his game? 388 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,949 You go in, you're not hanging out with us any more! I mean it! 389 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,672 Fine! I don't want to hang out with you anyway! 390 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,711 Peter! 391 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,115 - Oh, no. - What have you done to yourself? 392 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:57,593 - No, please! - Wait, I can help. 393 00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,359 - Jo, no! The two adult... - I can help you, Peter! 394 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,834 - Keep away! - The two-adult rule. 395 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,995 Pretty rubbish day, eh? 396 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,600 Nah, it was OK, sir. 397 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:18,317 I don't suppose you'd tell Miss Lipsey it was the best day of your whole childhood, 398 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:19,349 would you? 399 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:21,949 I suppose. 400 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:27,518 And just a thought. Maybe you could, like, if it doesn't seem too over the top, 401 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,755 you could tell her I'm like the dad you never had. 402 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,872 I... I mean, it's up to you. 403 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:33,955 Sir... 404 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,992 Just... try calling me Dad. 405 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:38,359 Sir! 406 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:42,359 You disrespected my fella's funeral, you bubble-blowing prick! 407 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,118 Dead meat! 408 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,673 Ride, Dennis! 409 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,870 Ride! Ride! 410 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,150 Come on, boys! 411 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,873 I'm sorry, Dennis. I did my best by you. 412 00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:01,399 Come on! Come on! 413 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,671 They won't hurt you. I'll face them. 414 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,199 Yes! Come on! 415 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,679 - It's doable. - What? 416 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:14,269 We can get down on this, even on these shit bikes. 417 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:17,471 No! Dennis! 418 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:18,509 Yeah! 419 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:32,309 Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 420 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,356 - Get away from me! - I'm trying to help you! 421 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:40,279 - Leave me alone! - Peter! Breathe into this bag, Peter! 422 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,396 Just leave me alone! 423 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,113 Oh! Ooh! Oh! 424 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:50,197 - Peter! - Aaargh! Oh! 425 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,993 Wanker! 426 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,758 Leave him alone! He ain't worth it. 427 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:00,630 - Oh! Oh! - Peter! 428 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,114 - Please! Please just leave me alone! - All right. 429 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:04,832 - Stay away from me! - Good. 430 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:06,233 - Peter! - OK. 431 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,117 That was my mum, sir. 432 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,674 Huh. My uncle's fine. 433 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,233 - Yeah? - Yeah. 434 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,350 Oh, good. 435 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,472 - I think I might go home. - Yeah. 436 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:35,156 Aargh! Aaargh! 437 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:38,158 You can run, Barry, but you can't hide! 438 00:23:06,500 --> 00:23:14,500 Ripped By mstoll 33265

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