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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,279
You tell me. I thought you'd invited
me to discuss "us". Are you cross?
2
00:00:01,347 --> 00:00:04,747
The idea of an "us"
has never been further away.
3
00:00:04,794 --> 00:00:06,553
You ARE cross.
4
00:00:06,554 --> 00:00:08,793
You tell me
what you think you've done wrong.
5
00:00:08,794 --> 00:00:11,233
Well, I went down that alleyway
behind the Co-op once,
6
00:00:11,234 --> 00:00:14,034
cos someone told me there were some
jazz mags there, but that was in the '80s.
7
00:00:14,034 --> 00:00:16,753
This is serious!
There's been a complaint.
8
00:00:16,754 --> 00:00:20,754
What did you do while you were
invigilating the science GCSE exam
9
00:00:21,034 --> 00:00:23,114
last week?
Nothing. I mean...
10
00:00:23,114 --> 00:00:26,033
I had a couple of games of Camp
Aisle. Right, what's Camp Aisle?
11
00:00:26,034 --> 00:00:27,793
You know, Camp Aisle!
12
00:00:27,794 --> 00:00:30,313
Me and Dave from English invented
it. You take it in turns to...
13
00:00:30,314 --> 00:00:32,753
"Mince up and down
between the rows of desks
14
00:00:32,754 --> 00:00:36,754
"in an incrementally camp manner
whilst stifling giggles."
15
00:00:38,634 --> 00:00:41,194
It's not just me. Well, you were the
one who was seen.
16
00:00:41,195 --> 00:00:45,194
That's cos I'm the best!
It's offensive and it's offended
17
00:00:45,314 --> 00:00:48,033
the gay... person who's complained.
What?!
18
00:00:48,034 --> 00:00:51,273
June Telford from Science?
She's not gay!
19
00:00:51,274 --> 00:00:53,633
"The '60s were a cock harvest, Dan."
Her words.
20
00:00:53,634 --> 00:00:57,113
It's a pupil.
There's a gay kid in Year 10?
21
00:00:57,114 --> 00:01:00,433
Brilliant! Who is it?
I won't be naming names!
22
00:01:00,434 --> 00:01:02,753
Well, do they do drama?
No.
23
00:01:02,754 --> 00:01:06,073
Well, why not?! I need those guys!
24
00:01:06,074 --> 00:01:07,313
What?!
25
00:01:07,314 --> 00:01:09,193
Come on...
26
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:12,673
gays improve plays.
27
00:01:12,674 --> 00:01:15,674
You haven't got a clue, have you?
28
00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:22,034
Welcome to your weekend, Dan.
29
00:01:25,299 --> 00:01:49,636
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
30
00:01:49,714 --> 00:01:51,954
Well, if it's getting to the
point it's affecting your squash game,
31
00:01:51,954 --> 00:01:54,194
you know you need to get that
knee sorted.
32
00:01:54,195 --> 00:01:57,874
Yeah. Barbara beat you, didn't she?
33
00:01:57,874 --> 00:02:01,833
I was very tired that day. And I
think Barbara would be the first to admit
34
00:02:01,834 --> 00:02:04,353
that her service is borderline
illegal.
35
00:02:04,354 --> 00:02:08,354
Well, I don't blame you, Brian.
Hospital is amazing.
36
00:02:08,474 --> 00:02:11,073
You've got a telly, him over there.
37
00:02:11,074 --> 00:02:15,074
You've got free magazines, satsumas!
I wish I had a dodgy knee.
38
00:02:15,394 --> 00:02:18,153
I have a business to run, Jo.
This is no holiday.
39
00:02:18,154 --> 00:02:20,393
What do you think Magda and I
are doing down the salon?
40
00:02:20,394 --> 00:02:23,513
Celebrity Fusions is tough.
Jo, for the last time,
41
00:02:23,514 --> 00:02:26,673
nobody wants two celebrity looks
on their face simultaneously.
42
00:02:26,674 --> 00:02:29,913
It's a business disaster!
Sorry, Brian, I'm not being funny,
43
00:02:29,914 --> 00:02:31,913
but, um, why don't you just
stick to what you do?
44
00:02:31,914 --> 00:02:35,393
What, like advise small businesses?
45
00:02:35,394 --> 00:02:39,394
Unbelievable! She's sending me on a
diversity course.
46
00:02:39,634 --> 00:02:43,633
"Hello, Brian. Sorry I'm really late.
Nervous about your operation?"
47
00:02:43,634 --> 00:02:46,553
"Can I have one of your satsumas,
Brian?"
48
00:02:46,554 --> 00:02:48,873
She said I was homophobic.
Me, homophobic?
49
00:02:48,874 --> 00:02:50,793
I wish I was gay.
I've told you that.
50
00:02:50,794 --> 00:02:52,594
They're all out having
the time of their lives.
51
00:02:52,595 --> 00:02:55,234
What are we doing? Sitting at home
complaining about milk!
52
00:02:56,354 --> 00:02:59,753
As soon as I find a man I fancy,
I'll make him the future Mr Davies.
53
00:02:59,754 --> 00:03:01,514
Presuming he's happy
to take your name.
54
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:04,714
She said I was a dinosaur!
You're not a dinosaur, Dan.
55
00:03:04,714 --> 00:03:06,993
I've seen pictures -
they're fucking massive!
56
00:03:06,994 --> 00:03:10,913
If anything, it's homophobic to
suggest that all gay people are camp.
57
00:03:10,914 --> 00:03:13,913
You've met Simon from the White
Lion. He walks like RoboCop!
58
00:03:13,914 --> 00:03:17,914
Would anyone here care to
talk about my forthcoming operation?
59
00:03:18,074 --> 00:03:21,633
Now, I'm spending my Saturday with a name
badge on, tossing a ball around the room.
60
00:03:21,634 --> 00:03:25,634
"Hello, everyone,
my name's Dan and I like pasta."
61
00:03:26,194 --> 00:03:27,593
Visiting hours are up.
62
00:03:27,594 --> 00:03:29,353
So if you wouldn't mind...
That's fine.
63
00:03:29,354 --> 00:03:32,833
And can I just say,
I don't think you are paid enough.
64
00:03:32,834 --> 00:03:34,953
All women should be paid more.
65
00:03:34,954 --> 00:03:38,673
Except those who are tossing
around in someone else's beauty salon.
66
00:03:38,674 --> 00:03:41,833
Barbara, you should come
down the salon.
67
00:03:41,834 --> 00:03:45,153
I could do you a Rihannie Lennox.
68
00:03:45,154 --> 00:03:49,154
"Good luck with the operation,
Brian."
69
00:03:49,194 --> 00:03:51,513
Bit of a handful, that lot.
Gosh, yes.
70
00:03:51,514 --> 00:03:53,153
The wife seems nice and quiet,
though.
71
00:03:53,154 --> 00:03:57,153
Barbara? Oh, oh, no.
God, no! Barbara's not my wife.
72
00:03:57,154 --> 00:04:01,154
No, my family are up in Leith,
for a whole week.
73
00:04:02,834 --> 00:04:06,833
I miss 'em like hell.
74
00:04:06,834 --> 00:04:09,153
I mean, it's just common sense,
this.
75
00:04:09,154 --> 00:04:11,953
OK, oi, oi, stop that.
76
00:04:11,954 --> 00:04:14,033
What?
No more cleaning for you.
77
00:04:14,034 --> 00:04:15,553
I like cleaning.
78
00:04:15,554 --> 00:04:17,553
No, you don't, you've been
brainwashed, it says here.
79
00:04:17,554 --> 00:04:19,273
I've not been brainwashed.
80
00:04:19,274 --> 00:04:22,713
It's lovely when everything's
all spick and span.
81
00:04:22,714 --> 00:04:24,553
Look, old woman,
if I tick enough of these off,
82
00:04:24,554 --> 00:04:25,873
I'll get away from the course early.
83
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:27,753
So I've just challenged
a gender role,
84
00:04:27,754 --> 00:04:30,273
so no more cleaning for you - tick.
85
00:04:30,274 --> 00:04:34,274
Ah, Polly, can you... can you help
me get rid of this stain?
86
00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:36,593
Fuck me, half a car wash.
87
00:04:36,594 --> 00:04:39,953
Yes, I don't expect you to know anything
about traditional English festivals.
88
00:04:39,954 --> 00:04:42,433
You're a slave to technology
and pornography.
89
00:04:42,434 --> 00:04:45,953
I'm surprised you haven't rubbed
your front tail off! Now, Polly...
90
00:04:45,954 --> 00:04:49,033
This stain, can you help?
No, she can't!
91
00:04:49,034 --> 00:04:53,034
Daniel says I'm not to clean any
more. He's on a course.
92
00:04:53,314 --> 00:04:57,314
Your mother is made happy
by manual labour. She is a woman.
93
00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:00,073
That is an archaic view
and I'm challenging it.
94
00:05:00,074 --> 00:05:03,113
Besides, I've ticked the box now,
so there's no going back.
95
00:05:03,114 --> 00:05:05,753
No more cleaning.
And anyway, you're a woman too.
96
00:05:05,754 --> 00:05:07,913
I'm more of a man than you'll ever
be!
97
00:05:07,914 --> 00:05:11,914
I ran the farm for 30 years
after Bertie died. I evolved.
98
00:05:12,234 --> 00:05:15,753
I haven't had a sit down wee since
1978. Ugh!
99
00:05:15,754 --> 00:05:18,313
But your mother's role
is more traditional.
100
00:05:18,314 --> 00:05:19,873
Things have moved on, Nesta.
101
00:05:19,874 --> 00:05:21,393
Who's going to do it, then?
102
00:05:21,394 --> 00:05:25,394
Somebody's got to, since Mrs Wigmore
mysteriously resigned.
103
00:05:26,714 --> 00:05:28,674
Why did Wigmore resign?
104
00:05:32,074 --> 00:05:34,233
It doesn't matter why
Mrs Wigmore resigned.
105
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:36,833
The point is,
Mum's not cleaning any more.
106
00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:39,433
The boy's gone queer, Polly.
Er...
107
00:05:39,434 --> 00:05:43,434
"The boy has gone strange."
Please, Nesta.
108
00:05:43,754 --> 00:05:45,593
It's a piece of piss, this.
109
00:05:45,594 --> 00:05:48,273
Tick.
110
00:05:48,274 --> 00:05:50,353
We'll just let the hair set,
Mrs Williams.
111
00:05:50,354 --> 00:05:52,913
And then, you can look at the new
you.
112
00:05:52,914 --> 00:05:54,513
We can't keep doing for free.
113
00:05:54,514 --> 00:05:56,673
All right, Magda!
We'll start charging soon.
114
00:05:56,674 --> 00:05:59,273
We need to get the portfolio
finished. Where are we?
115
00:05:59,274 --> 00:06:03,274
So... so far, we've got the Halle
Lulu - Halle Berry and Lulu.
116
00:06:04,714 --> 00:06:05,993
Amazing.
117
00:06:05,994 --> 00:06:09,073
Liv and Let Dido - Liv Tyler, Dido.
118
00:06:09,074 --> 00:06:12,473
Brave.
Fucking brave.
119
00:06:12,474 --> 00:06:16,474
Oh, lovely lips you've done there.
So thin. Who was this?
120
00:06:16,954 --> 00:06:20,113
Duchess of Cambridge, Malcolm X.
121
00:06:20,114 --> 00:06:22,953
The Malcolm in the Middleton.
122
00:06:22,954 --> 00:06:26,673
This one is gonna be so popular.
123
00:06:26,674 --> 00:06:28,753
So brave.
You've said that.
124
00:06:28,754 --> 00:06:30,993
Over here, we have another classic.
125
00:06:30,994 --> 00:06:34,994
You said it wasn't possible to
combine Beyonce and Liza Minnelli.
126
00:06:37,394 --> 00:06:39,673
I was Doubting Thomas.
Yes!
127
00:06:39,674 --> 00:06:41,953
Behold...
128
00:06:41,954 --> 00:06:45,273
...the Beyonzelli!
It's beautiful!
129
00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:47,353
I only came in for a cut and set.
130
00:06:47,354 --> 00:06:49,233
Ssh!
131
00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:52,713
And I just realised
I'd presumed that about her
132
00:06:52,714 --> 00:06:56,714
just because she was from Ireland.
I-I felt... really ashamed.
133
00:06:57,594 --> 00:07:01,113
Well, I think you're being
a little harsh on yourself.
134
00:07:01,114 --> 00:07:02,873
The Irish do pride themselves
on their drink.
135
00:07:02,874 --> 00:07:06,193
Er, Dan?
136
00:07:06,194 --> 00:07:10,034
Oh, yes. Thank you. Hello, I'm Dan.
137
00:07:10,034 --> 00:07:12,833
I found the pamphlet
incredibly useful as well.
138
00:07:12,834 --> 00:07:16,834
I probably don't need to do the whole day,
because... I've already stopped my mum
139
00:07:17,114 --> 00:07:20,433
from doing housework.
Wow, there's a quick response.
140
00:07:20,434 --> 00:07:23,753
She's been a slave too long, guys,
so I'm gonna get her a cleaner.
141
00:07:23,754 --> 00:07:25,873
Oh, good, so another poor woman
gets to do all the work.
142
00:07:25,874 --> 00:07:29,634
What? It could sound like you've rather
transferred the problem there, Dan.
143
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:34,993
Can I throw this now, or what?
144
00:07:34,994 --> 00:07:37,393
Well, I think that we're gonna
have a great day, guys.
145
00:07:37,394 --> 00:07:40,513
Now, your employers would've sent
you here for a variety of reasons.
146
00:07:40,514 --> 00:07:44,514
I know some of you are in coordinator
roles and some of you, dare I say,
147
00:07:44,874 --> 00:07:47,513
need to sharpen up
on your attitudes a little.
148
00:07:47,514 --> 00:07:49,513
Whatever the reason,
I will try my best
149
00:07:49,514 --> 00:07:53,514
not to make the world of diversity
awareness seem too boring. Ha-ha!
150
00:07:53,914 --> 00:07:55,793
So, this afternoon,
we'll actually be going out
151
00:07:55,794 --> 00:07:58,593
into the community to meet people
from all different backgrounds.
152
00:07:58,594 --> 00:08:02,594
But, what I want to do first,
little energizer everyone, on your feet.
153
00:08:03,034 --> 00:08:06,513
Now, what I want you to do is
find yourself a diversity buddy.
154
00:08:06,514 --> 00:08:09,753
Now, that's someone you feel is
from a very different background to you.
155
00:08:09,754 --> 00:08:12,914
There you go.
156
00:08:15,234 --> 00:08:19,234
Hi...
157
00:08:23,234 --> 00:08:25,473
Hello, I'm Dan.
Teggun.
158
00:08:25,474 --> 00:08:26,433
Sorry?
159
00:08:26,434 --> 00:08:29,353
Teggun!
160
00:08:29,354 --> 00:08:31,513
Right. No English at all, eh?
161
00:08:31,514 --> 00:08:34,233
Teggun.
162
00:08:34,234 --> 00:08:35,873
Well, nice to meet you.
163
00:08:35,874 --> 00:08:38,273
Ah...
164
00:08:38,274 --> 00:08:40,073
False hand, eh?
165
00:08:40,074 --> 00:08:41,313
Yep!
166
00:08:41,314 --> 00:08:44,673
I anticipate the operation
going smoothly, Mr Ames,
167
00:08:44,674 --> 00:08:46,993
but we may have to break
the bone to reset it again,
168
00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:49,353
so that could mean an extra
couple of weeks, I'm afraid.
169
00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:53,354
Well, Doctor, if it's a break
I need, it's a break I need.
170
00:08:59,514 --> 00:09:02,873
And next up, a double bill
of Britain's Greatest Steam Engines,
171
00:09:02,874 --> 00:09:04,913
presented by Katie Deraway.
172
00:09:04,914 --> 00:09:06,313
Mmm!
173
00:09:06,314 --> 00:09:09,993
Right, time's up.
174
00:09:09,994 --> 00:09:12,713
So, let's pop around the room
and hear about your chats.
175
00:09:12,714 --> 00:09:16,714
Now, I want to hear a few things
about your partner, but remember...
176
00:09:20,194 --> 00:09:21,313
OK?
177
00:09:21,314 --> 00:09:24,673
Do you want to start?
Right, well, er, this is Sue.
178
00:09:24,674 --> 00:09:27,993
She has three daughters,
who she loves very much,
179
00:09:27,994 --> 00:09:30,914
almost as much as she loves
Aston Villa Football Club.
180
00:09:31,914 --> 00:09:34,993
And she dreams of walking
up Machu Picchu one day.
181
00:09:34,994 --> 00:09:37,273
Don't we all?
182
00:09:37,274 --> 00:09:40,233
Er, Dan, two things
about your partner, please.
183
00:09:40,234 --> 00:09:43,153
Oh... Oh, no, I don't think
I can, so if you'd like to...
184
00:09:43,154 --> 00:09:45,673
Come on, don't be shy. We'll all
have to talk over the course of the day.
185
00:09:45,674 --> 00:09:47,473
OK.
186
00:09:47,474 --> 00:09:50,513
Um, she's not English.
Ah, ah, ah!
187
00:09:50,514 --> 00:09:53,073
No referencing backgrounds,
remember?
188
00:09:53,074 --> 00:09:57,074
Yeah, but I...
Please.
189
00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:04,273
I don't really know anything.
You've been chatting for 15 minutes.
190
00:10:04,274 --> 00:10:08,153
Yeah, but...
Dan, please!
191
00:10:08,154 --> 00:10:12,154
So... this is Teggun.
192
00:10:14,834 --> 00:10:17,313
And, honestly...
193
00:10:17,314 --> 00:10:19,594
I think there's something wrong with
her.
194
00:10:22,554 --> 00:10:26,554
So, whilst it is important to be open
and direct, it's also important to be aware
195
00:10:27,154 --> 00:10:31,153
of the impact that we can have
on other people from different groups.
196
00:10:31,154 --> 00:10:32,953
I'm sure you'll get the hang of it
when we start
197
00:10:32,954 --> 00:10:34,313
working through...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
198
00:10:34,314 --> 00:10:36,432
And if I tick all these off,
will I get a certificate,
199
00:10:36,433 --> 00:10:38,514
cos I've ploughed through
quite a few of these already?
200
00:10:38,514 --> 00:10:40,633
Right, it's not just about
ticking things off.
201
00:10:40,634 --> 00:10:43,714
It's about reaching a new level
of awareness, as I think
202
00:10:43,715 --> 00:10:47,673
your little cleaner story
demonstrated. OK. I can do that.
203
00:10:47,674 --> 00:10:49,954
And it's great that you want to.
Oh, God, I do!
204
00:10:49,954 --> 00:10:51,513
If I nail this, me and my boss will
be
205
00:10:51,514 --> 00:10:54,993
in and out of each other
like a set of Russian dolls.
206
00:10:54,994 --> 00:10:57,873
And I'll have embraced diversity.
207
00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,590
See you after lunch, Dan.
208
00:11:03,649 --> 00:11:05,429
I think we're really
on to something here.
209
00:11:05,453 --> 00:11:07,293
Mm-hm. It's our bravest look yet.
210
00:11:07,356 --> 00:11:09,916
I'll put some more shade on
the chin. No, I do bottom half.
211
00:11:09,917 --> 00:11:11,836
I decide.
No, you do eyes and hair.
212
00:11:11,836 --> 00:11:13,476
It's agreement.
All right, Magda!
213
00:11:13,477 --> 00:11:16,114
If you want this business to work,
you need to be more flexible.
214
00:11:16,115 --> 00:11:18,874
All right, Dan? How's the course?
215
00:11:18,875 --> 00:11:21,075
It's a waste of taxpayers'
money, that's what it is.
216
00:11:21,076 --> 00:11:23,195
Fuck! Right?!
217
00:11:23,195 --> 00:11:25,834
I mean, it's hard enough getting
Chairman Mao's look right.
218
00:11:25,835 --> 00:11:29,114
Combine that with Samantha
from Sex And The City,
219
00:11:29,115 --> 00:11:32,194
or, as we like to call it,
Chamantha Mao.
220
00:11:32,195 --> 00:11:35,154
From Sex And City.
221
00:11:35,155 --> 00:11:36,914
Bold! So bold.
222
00:11:36,915 --> 00:11:39,875
I mean, you're lunatics.
223
00:11:39,875 --> 00:11:41,874
What's he fucking laughing at?
224
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:44,474
Ignore him, Shakira,
you look great.
225
00:11:44,475 --> 00:11:46,434
Bob? Not Bob.
226
00:11:46,435 --> 00:11:49,194
Bob! No, Shakira!
227
00:11:49,195 --> 00:11:53,195
You've got to get used to it!
228
00:11:55,795 --> 00:11:59,795
Business going well?
Yes, it's good.
229
00:12:02,235 --> 00:12:05,034
So this one's called
the Jesus To A Chiles.
230
00:12:05,035 --> 00:12:06,434
Hmm.
231
00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:09,314
Magda, I shouldn't ask this, I
suppose, but is there really a woman
232
00:12:09,315 --> 00:12:12,594
that's going to want Adrian Chiles
and Christ combined on their face?
233
00:12:12,595 --> 00:12:15,954
Yes! All women like
make-up. Do they?
234
00:12:15,955 --> 00:12:18,354
Or are women doing it for men?
235
00:12:18,355 --> 00:12:22,154
My husband like make-up.
I'll bet he does.
236
00:12:22,155 --> 00:12:25,434
Probably because he is...
237
00:12:25,435 --> 00:12:27,034
..seeking to objectify you.
238
00:12:27,035 --> 00:12:29,634
Oh, Magda!
239
00:12:29,635 --> 00:12:31,594
You don't need make-up!
240
00:12:31,595 --> 00:12:33,194
You're beautiful without it.
241
00:12:33,195 --> 00:12:34,594
Am I?
242
00:12:34,595 --> 00:12:36,634
Probably.
243
00:12:36,635 --> 00:12:40,635
Now, come on, let's get all
this muck off your face.
244
00:12:43,275 --> 00:12:47,275
Don't worry about it.
Yeah. No, it was good, yeah.
245
00:12:48,075 --> 00:12:52,075
It was totally clean. I promise you,
I've never left an 'ouse so clean.
246
00:12:52,795 --> 00:12:54,514
It was a proper good job, yeah.
247
00:12:54,515 --> 00:12:58,234
That's because I'm the best,
aren't I?
248
00:12:58,235 --> 00:13:01,674
Excuse me...
249
00:13:01,675 --> 00:13:04,874
How long have you been a
cleaner, Scott?
250
00:13:04,875 --> 00:13:07,234
Donkey's years.
He's done it for ages.
251
00:13:07,235 --> 00:13:09,114
He doesn't look like a bloody
chambermaid.
252
00:13:09,115 --> 00:13:10,554
It's not 1913!
253
00:13:10,555 --> 00:13:14,154
Get off to your festival of bumpkin, you!
Go and throw some seeds in a kid's face!
254
00:13:14,155 --> 00:13:16,994
What would you use to clean
glass, Scott?
255
00:13:16,995 --> 00:13:20,274
Well, um...
256
00:13:20,275 --> 00:13:23,994
Just use an old avocado. He uses an
avocado, he's old-school.
257
00:13:23,995 --> 00:13:27,314
That would smear, surely.
This is horse shit!
258
00:13:27,315 --> 00:13:30,674
He's not a cleaner!
What, because he's a man?!
259
00:13:30,675 --> 00:13:34,554
It is the 21st century,
old woman. Right, Scott?
260
00:13:34,555 --> 00:13:35,874
Yeah. Right.
261
00:13:35,875 --> 00:13:38,474
And you do ironing?
Of course he does ironing!
262
00:13:38,475 --> 00:13:40,434
Oh, fuck, yeah. See?
263
00:13:40,435 --> 00:13:42,714
What's the biggest thing
you've ever ironed, Scott?
264
00:13:42,715 --> 00:13:45,714
Um, I ironed a windsock once.
265
00:13:45,715 --> 00:13:48,314
He ironed a windsock once. And
they're massive, aren't they?
266
00:13:48,315 --> 00:13:50,154
It was a windsock, was it?
267
00:13:50,155 --> 00:13:51,194
Yeah. Yeah.
268
00:13:51,195 --> 00:13:55,195
Right, if you'll forgive me, I've
got to go and finish my course now.
269
00:13:55,355 --> 00:13:59,355
Very disappointed in
you two, actually.
270
00:14:00,155 --> 00:14:04,155
A windsock!
271
00:14:07,035 --> 00:14:09,874
Where do you want me to start?
272
00:14:09,875 --> 00:14:13,074
And when you start to see
things through that prism,
273
00:14:13,075 --> 00:14:16,594
you start to question...
He's a man!
274
00:14:16,595 --> 00:14:17,834
Sorry?
275
00:14:17,835 --> 00:14:20,594
My mum's new cleaner, he is male.
276
00:14:20,595 --> 00:14:24,194
Oh! Weren't expecting that,
were we, Sue?
277
00:14:24,195 --> 00:14:28,195
See what I do? I challenge. I adapt.
You're all seeing that now.
278
00:14:28,315 --> 00:14:31,194
Teggun!
Thank you, Teggun.
279
00:14:31,195 --> 00:14:33,954
OK. Thank you for that, Dan.
280
00:14:33,955 --> 00:14:37,955
So, this afternoon, in your pairs,
we're going to be building a tower.
281
00:14:39,915 --> 00:14:41,994
What? Not with cards?
282
00:14:41,995 --> 00:14:43,634
It's just a little trust exercise.
283
00:14:43,635 --> 00:14:46,594
Teggun can't build a card tower!
284
00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:49,794
Oh, come on!
What's she going to use, this?
285
00:14:49,795 --> 00:14:51,674
Oh, God!
286
00:14:51,675 --> 00:14:53,954
It's about finding a balance, Dan!
287
00:14:53,955 --> 00:14:56,314
Making Teggun feel like
she can't take part like that!
288
00:14:56,315 --> 00:14:59,514
Mate, she's got a false hand.
She's physically challenged, yes!
289
00:14:59,515 --> 00:15:02,794
But that doesn't mean you exclude
her, you adapt to her company!
290
00:15:02,795 --> 00:15:05,874
Mate, I'm just being practical.
We've all got our limits.
291
00:15:05,875 --> 00:15:09,634
Teggun can no more build a card
tower than I can wear a dwarf's...
292
00:15:09,635 --> 00:15:10,794
..tabard?
293
00:15:10,795 --> 00:15:12,594
Right, I think that's it.
294
00:15:12,595 --> 00:15:16,595
I think we've reached
the end of the road, Dan.
295
00:15:18,595 --> 00:15:22,595
David? What about the
community interviews?
296
00:15:23,275 --> 00:15:27,275
Oh!
297
00:15:42,315 --> 00:15:45,955
Teggun, what are you doing here?
I've been kicked off the course.
298
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:52,074
Go and work with Sue and Naz.
I don't want you to fail because of me.
299
00:15:52,075 --> 00:15:53,234
Teggun.
300
00:15:53,235 --> 00:15:57,235
What are you trying to say?
301
00:15:58,595 --> 00:16:02,595
Teeeeggggguuuuun.
302
00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:07,594
You're right,
I shouldn't give up.
303
00:16:07,595 --> 00:16:10,314
If it's a guest he wants,
it's a guest he'll get.
304
00:16:10,315 --> 00:16:11,594
Teggun!
305
00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:14,395
Exactly.
306
00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:20,034
Nesta, it-it's me.
307
00:16:20,035 --> 00:16:22,634
I'm sorry to call you.
308
00:16:22,635 --> 00:16:26,634
It's that cleaner Daniel got me.
He's taken everything!
309
00:16:26,635 --> 00:16:29,274
That bloody fool!
310
00:16:29,275 --> 00:16:30,714
Leave it with me, Polly.
311
00:16:30,715 --> 00:16:32,314
I'll turn back now.
312
00:16:32,315 --> 00:16:36,315
Thank you.
313
00:16:38,995 --> 00:16:42,995
Oh!
314
00:16:43,595 --> 00:16:47,595
Yeah, must be nice to get a bit
of fresh air, isn't it, mate?
315
00:16:47,675 --> 00:16:49,794
Where are you taking me?
I'm meant to be resting.
316
00:16:49,795 --> 00:16:53,795
Well... I just thought we could
pop out for a little bit.
317
00:16:54,115 --> 00:16:56,554
Maybe we could go
to my diversity course.
318
00:16:56,555 --> 00:16:59,154
What?! I've got a backless gown on.
319
00:16:59,155 --> 00:17:01,034
Argh! Argh!
320
00:17:01,035 --> 00:17:02,714
Oh, dear, does that hurt?
321
00:17:02,715 --> 00:17:04,634
Here, let's give you some morphine.
There.
322
00:17:04,635 --> 00:17:06,634
No, it's meant to be
self-regulating. Argh!
323
00:17:06,635 --> 00:17:08,954
You're clearly in pain, aren't
you? Take me back!
324
00:17:08,955 --> 00:17:10,474
There.
325
00:17:10,475 --> 00:17:12,434
Let's pop him in.
326
00:17:12,435 --> 00:17:16,435
Beugh! There's a good boy.
327
00:17:21,995 --> 00:17:25,314
David's going to love this. Teggun,
we've hit the diversity mother lode.
328
00:17:25,315 --> 00:17:27,034
Teggun!
329
00:17:27,035 --> 00:17:30,994
Put the big glove on!
330
00:17:30,995 --> 00:17:34,995
We were just driving to my local park
and this lady was in tears on a bench.
331
00:17:36,435 --> 00:17:40,435
But Naz and I spoke to her and... I
wouldn't have normally.
332
00:17:43,155 --> 00:17:47,155
Anyway, it turns out she's been
kicked out by her husband.
333
00:17:48,035 --> 00:17:51,954
She'd only popped back to get some
more cleanser and he threw her out.
334
00:17:51,955 --> 00:17:55,955
My husband say he don't like
me with no make-up.
335
00:17:57,475 --> 00:17:58,954
Aww!
336
00:17:58,955 --> 00:18:02,955
He say my face look like bread.
337
00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:06,754
I like make-up.
And why shouldn't you?
338
00:18:06,755 --> 00:18:10,755
Because my friend's friend
said it made me slut for men.
339
00:18:11,915 --> 00:18:13,274
I'm back!
340
00:18:13,275 --> 00:18:15,234
David, I know I've been
kicked off the course,
341
00:18:15,235 --> 00:18:16,834
but I think you're
going to love this.
342
00:18:16,835 --> 00:18:20,074
This is my friend Brian
and he's in a wheelchair.
343
00:18:20,075 --> 00:18:21,754
That's him!
344
00:18:21,755 --> 00:18:25,354
That's the man!
Magda? What are you doing here?
345
00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:29,355
He is the one who forced me,
it's all his fault!
346
00:18:30,755 --> 00:18:33,714
Yet again, Dan, you seem to have
misinterpreted the course.
347
00:18:33,715 --> 00:18:36,634
No, I haven't, I'm nailing it.
I've got a disabled friend.
348
00:18:36,635 --> 00:18:40,554
He's not disabled, he's clearly
coming round from an operation.
349
00:18:40,555 --> 00:18:43,274
He is disabled,
350
00:18:43,275 --> 00:18:45,234
and he's gay, which is fine,
351
00:18:45,235 --> 00:18:48,354
and also, he's a mute since birth.
So you're prejudiced.
352
00:18:48,355 --> 00:18:50,674
Choo-choo, move along the garden.
353
00:18:50,675 --> 00:18:53,514
He's not mute! He just said,
"Choo-choo, move along the garden."
354
00:18:53,515 --> 00:18:57,515
My husband kick me out
and you destroy my business!
355
00:18:59,195 --> 00:19:00,994
I was liberating you.
356
00:19:00,995 --> 00:19:04,074
And you haven't got a business,
you fucking nutter!
357
00:19:04,075 --> 00:19:06,114
Oh, my...
358
00:19:06,115 --> 00:19:08,034
Excuse me, are you Dan Davies?
359
00:19:08,035 --> 00:19:11,754
Yes. Your aunt's here.
360
00:19:11,755 --> 00:19:13,154
What?
361
00:19:13,155 --> 00:19:16,434
I really need to go home.
362
00:19:16,435 --> 00:19:20,435
I can't let you go with half a
Slim Shady Gaga, Mrs Thompson.
363
00:19:21,555 --> 00:19:23,154
My business partner hasn't shown up.
364
00:19:23,155 --> 00:19:25,274
I only wanted a cut and set.
365
00:19:25,275 --> 00:19:29,275
Ssh! I'll give her another try.
366
00:19:29,875 --> 00:19:31,554
Magda? Where the hell are you?
367
00:19:31,555 --> 00:19:34,194
Are you crying?
368
00:19:34,195 --> 00:19:35,714
What?
369
00:19:35,715 --> 00:19:38,034
He said what?
370
00:19:38,035 --> 00:19:41,194
Nesta, I don't have time for
this! I'm...
371
00:19:41,195 --> 00:19:43,714
You bloody fool!
372
00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:46,154
Oh my...!
373
00:19:46,155 --> 00:19:47,514
What have you done?
374
00:19:47,515 --> 00:19:49,434
What have I done?
375
00:19:49,435 --> 00:19:50,874
You rotter.
376
00:19:50,875 --> 00:19:54,474
You have hired a gangster
to clean your mother's house.
377
00:19:54,475 --> 00:19:57,994
I am supposed to be dancing a jig
at the Banbury Folk Festival,
378
00:19:57,995 --> 00:19:59,834
not dealing with naughty boys.
379
00:19:59,835 --> 00:20:01,674
Nesta, you have to get out of here.
380
00:20:01,675 --> 00:20:04,354
They won't understand this.
No-one would understand this!
381
00:20:04,355 --> 00:20:05,714
Understand what?
382
00:20:05,715 --> 00:20:09,715
Well, this!
This is a Banbury tradition.
383
00:20:09,915 --> 00:20:12,874
Now, I am going to see your mother
and you are coming with me.
384
00:20:12,875 --> 00:20:15,314
You go, I'm just going to go
and get my certificate, OK?
385
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:19,194
And then we'll...
Daniel... you can decide how,
386
00:20:19,195 --> 00:20:21,354
but one way or another,
387
00:20:21,355 --> 00:20:25,355
you are coming with me.
388
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:27,914
OK, guys, all right,
389
00:20:27,915 --> 00:20:29,555
let's take it down a bit...
Oh, my God!
390
00:20:31,755 --> 00:20:35,755
Arrgh!
391
00:20:40,755 --> 00:20:43,394
Oh, he's a brave little boy,
putting up a fight.
392
00:20:43,395 --> 00:20:44,714
Nesta, please!
393
00:20:44,715 --> 00:20:48,114
Dan, for God's sake, stop this!
I can get you help.
394
00:20:48,115 --> 00:20:50,154
Fuck off, David, she started it.
395
00:20:50,155 --> 00:20:51,954
Why, there's no-one
he doesn't hate!
396
00:20:51,955 --> 00:20:54,114
Leave her alone. Victim!
397
00:20:54,115 --> 00:20:56,434
I live with her.
Domestic violence!
398
00:20:56,435 --> 00:20:57,714
Victim!
399
00:20:57,715 --> 00:21:01,715
Your mum's house has been
totally emptied, you fool!
400
00:21:03,075 --> 00:21:05,514
Victim! Dan!
401
00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:08,874
Dan! This is all your fault!
402
00:21:08,875 --> 00:21:11,434
He's beaten up another old woman.
403
00:21:11,435 --> 00:21:14,314
Victims! Plural!
404
00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:15,474
Victim!
405
00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:17,554
No, it's make-up.
You don't like
406
00:21:17,555 --> 00:21:19,474
women wearing make-up.
407
00:21:19,475 --> 00:21:20,874
Victim!
408
00:21:20,875 --> 00:21:24,875
Please stop shouting "victim".
This is a misunderstanding.
409
00:21:25,035 --> 00:21:28,674
Oh, Nesta, that's him.
The male cleaner.
410
00:21:28,675 --> 00:21:30,514
That's the man who took
all my mum's stuff.
411
00:21:30,515 --> 00:21:32,634
Trying to get other people
to do time for him.
412
00:21:32,635 --> 00:21:34,714
Victim! Oi! Oi!
413
00:21:34,715 --> 00:21:38,514
You're not going anywhere,
you sick bastard!
414
00:21:38,515 --> 00:21:40,555
Please, oi!
415
00:21:44,675 --> 00:21:48,675
Teggun!
416
00:21:50,275 --> 00:21:54,275
David, you wanted to know
two things about my partner.
417
00:21:54,315 --> 00:21:56,194
That is Teggun,
418
00:21:56,195 --> 00:21:57,954
she is fiercely loyal,
419
00:21:57,955 --> 00:22:00,674
and as it turns out,
a fucking good throw.
420
00:22:00,675 --> 00:22:04,675
Now, can I have
my certificate, please?!
421
00:22:06,115 --> 00:22:10,115
Victim!
422
00:22:12,755 --> 00:22:16,755
Lovely lines,
confident stride from Davies here.
423
00:22:17,195 --> 00:22:20,394
The big man focused,
finding his groove early on.
424
00:22:20,395 --> 00:22:22,754
Now then, what's he got for
us here?
425
00:22:22,755 --> 00:22:24,234
Oh, my goodness!
What's this?
426
00:22:24,235 --> 00:22:26,274
He's going for it,
it's a full hip swivel!
427
00:22:26,275 --> 00:22:27,755
This is going to break records!
428
00:22:27,756 --> 00:22:31,394
This might be one of the most
flamboyant aisle walks I've ever seen!
429
00:22:31,395 --> 00:22:34,359
The old master
back at the top of his game!
430
00:22:34,384 --> 00:22:57,540
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