Original subtitles

A MOVIE WHICH WAS BOYCOTTED FOR A LONG TIME IN EUROPE AND THE USA.

AFTER WATCHING THE MOVIE, ASK YOURSELF:

WHY WOULD THAT BE?

Hello, everyone. Happy New Year. The planet meeting is open.

- We need rye. - We would like three bags.

We don't have any soya.

We have a large crop of dried fruits.

Enough to last for two months.

Medicines?

There isn't enough for everyone.

Who needs wool?

How many sickles do we need to forge?

- Seventeen. - School?

We need a telepathy teacher. Amos died and nobody else is ready.

- Okay, I'll do it this year. - A listening teacher.

I can do it for six months. Then I have to give birth to my son.

Marriages?

Now the deceased. Atalya, 255 and a quarter years old.

Zekar, 248 years. Aramos, 265 years. Galeta, 272 years.

All deaths were soft and peaceful, except the death of Amile.

He was only 143. He died in a landslide.

Are you okay, Mila? Not too sad?

I'm okay, everybody is really helpful.

Okay, now the trips.

This year, we really need to go to Earth. The last time was 200 years ago.

Who wants to go to Earth?

To Narvos?

Maximum ten. You must arrange it yourselves.

To Earth?

To Kristo?

No more than 23 can go to Kristo, you have to arrange it yourself.

Who wants to go to Earth?

Does nobody want to go to Earth?

- So, how will we do it? - Like always, we just don't go.

We haven't been to Earth for 200 years. This year, we really should send someone.

- To do what? - Nothing special.

- We observe and see what we can do. - There's nothing we can do.

On other planets, they learn something, and we do, too. But on Earth...

- They are retarded, but that's no reason. - It's dangerous, too.

They'll go faster if we send someone with the disconnection program.

- We don't know how far they are today. - But we can guess.

The only one who knows anything about Earth is Osam.

He was the last one there, but he's been on Narvos for 20 years now.

I'm here. Didn't you see me? I came back two months ago.

Greetings, Osam. I didn't see you. Do you know how advanced they are on Earth?

Yes, but that was a long time ago. I was there with Mila's father.

We landed in Paris, France.

They were engaged in a revolution against their king.

That was a good idea. They founded a republic.

But that went wrong soon. An emperor came into power.

Napolelon or something.

A maniac who massacred a lot of people with idiotic wars.

After that, the rule of kings returned.

They deteriorated rapidly, with leaders and presidents. Then we left.

- Was it really that bad? - Absolutely.

Survival of the fittest, female oppression, massacres.

It will take them centuries to resolve those issues.

And they still had a money system.

We have hidden some gold, just in case we would go back.

What is money?

For example, if you want something, you can't get it without money.

- Not even food? - Especially food.

But you need food, otherwise you'll die.

They don't care. Without money you have nothing.

Do you think they still use the money system?

No, I don't think so.

When we left, the industrial era began.

- What's that? - We had that too, 3000 years ago.

There was competition, mass production of useless things,

wars, nuclear weapons, destruction of nature, incurable diseases. Really prehistoric.

My brother had a telepathic vision about Earth.

I saw women with covered faces and they were not allowed to drive a car.

Are you kidding, they still have cars?

What are cars?

I've never seen cars. They didn't have those at the time.

But we used to have cars as well.

Yes, we learn that with archeology. They are metal boxes to move around.

People didn't walk anymore and had heart diseases.

Millions of deaths from accidents.

But after 200 years I think they got rid of cars.

And maybe their hierarchy system, too.

Yes, their hierarchy is surely something.

Everyone is superior to someone else.

Men over women. City people over countryside people.

Adults over children. People over animals and plants.

And then they also have races.

It's a big planet with separate continents.

The different peoples evolved independently.

When they met, the most degenerated ones found themselves superior.

There were massacres and now they dominate the world.

We are lucky with our small planet with only one race, one climate, one evolution.

We can't just ignore them, just because they had some bad luck.

We don't ignore them. They just don't want to be helped.

They can't communicate. They work all day with computers...

instead of their brains. They only use one-tenth part of it.

Their brains must be the size of a sheep turd.

They develop at their own pace.

A lettuce doesn't grow faster if you pull it.

But we can fertilise it a bit.

We can disconnect some of them.

Okay, any volunteers?

Come on, somebody with a little courage.

I can go.

- Mom, are you sick? - Mila, you want to go there?

- No, she doesn't. - Yes, I do.

- Mom, have you gone crazy? - Mila, do you want to go or not?

- No. - Yes.

- Here are European languages. - We found almost all of them.

We'll try to send you to Paris.

You get a light and powerful disconnection program.

- How does the light version work? - Automatically.

You just need to talk to someone.

- And the other one? - Just like this.

- Like this? - Yes, but be very careful.

- They will get very confused. - But then they're disconnected.

- Sometimes they are 500 years ahead. - That's quite a shock.

If you want more programs, let us know.

When you've had enough, then just come back.

I made shoes for you.

They hurt a little on the feet, but the lambswool makes it softer.

And some clothing.

- In Empire style, because of Panoleon. - Thank you.

- And a hat. - Yes.

Do you mind if I don't take the hat?

As you wish. But tell me, why do you want to go there?

Did your father tell you anything?

- Yes, just before he died. - What did he say?

He fell in love with an Earth woman. She died when she gave birth to his child.

I was that child. He brought me here secretly. That's why he never wanted to marry.

- Did you tell anyone else here? - No, nobody.

What would have happened if he had told the truth?

- He was maybe afraid you'd have to go back. - You mean they would banish me?

Possibly. No one here likes earthlings very much.

What a bunch of racists.

Earthlings are just very difficult to deal with.

I was just a baby.

But it's not always easy to deal with underdeveloped people.

- Oh, thank you. - No, not you. You're now just like us.

I think my sons are suspecting something. They are very strong with mind reading.

- It runs in the family. - What was my mother like?

Just like your daughters.

She was funny. Your father was very fond of her.

What is she saying?

I can't hear it very well, there is some interference.

- I think they talk about grandma. - Oh, yeah?

- And she is angry with racists or something. - Oh, yeah?

There's nobody left from that era.

It was 200 years ago. That's eight generations.

Yes, I know.

But I'm halfway through my life and I want to meet my mother's family.

- When will you come back, mom? - I won't stay long.

Mesaul, make sure they do their telepathy exercises.

I will. And that they won't empty the cherry tree.

- Can we sleep at the neighbors? - Yes, but don't mess around all night.

May I swim in the lake alone?

No, not just by yourself. Only with Mesaje.

- Take good care of them. - Yes, don't worry.

Why do you actually want to go there?

- I want to know where I come from. - What?

These trees are huge.

They are beautiful.

What's all that gray stuff on the ground?

Don't they have any soil here?

How can plants grow here?

What's that?

It's a turd.

And another one.

Don't they have any toilets?

Luckily I have these shoes from Osam.

Here's someone. I'm going to try my language program.

Guten Tag. Verstehen Sie was ich sage?

No speak English.

And now? Do you understand me now?

I told you, I don't speak English.

- E questo lo capisci? - No comprando.

Hola. Qué tal?

- If I speak like this, do you understand me? - Are you fooling me?

Ah, it works.

Sorry madam, which language is this?

Is it German, French, Spanish?

Are you crazy? And what are those carnival clothes?

I'm working.

I don't have time to talk with any fool passing by.

Thank you, madam. Goodbye, madam.

Not a very cheerful lady. And her clothes don't seem to be very imperial.

Nicole, what are you doing?

You know very well these cakes are three weeks old.

Excuse me, sir. Which country is this?

You are in France.

Fantastic. And the name of the city?

- Which city? - Here.

- What do you mean, here? - This city here.

Are you fooling me? This is Paris.

I'm sorry, I didn't know. Thank you, sir.

My god. Enough of this torture.

It's enough now. Not anymore.

This air.

It must be pollution.

It hurts.

I need to find water to call home.

And nowhere I can see any Empire clothes.

I look like a fool in this Empire dress.

All those cars. And all that noise.

It looks like nobody minds.

Those must be their houses, those big gray things.

How pathetic, all piled up like that.

And so close to that noise.

They don't have many trees, but they are pretty.

What would they carry in those bags? Why does everyone carry such a bag?

They don't look well. They are ill.

Stomach problems.

Stomach, heart, liver, stomach.

Stomach.

That's weird. They have bits of scrap metal in their ears and around their neck.

Probably primitive religious symbols.

It's a pity I never liked archeology.

I could use it now.

Is that soil?

Why do they put their soil in here?

What is this? A cadaver exhibition.

He cuts off a piece and gives it to the woman.

- Sorry, madam. What did you take? - I didn't take anything.

- In that small package. - That's my meat.

- What are you going to do with it? - Eat it.

You're a carnivore?

Are you fooling me?

No, not at all. Can I ask you something?

Was that money you gave to that man? That square thing?

- What square thing? - You gave him something.

Yes, of course. I paid for my meat.

That was money. You pay for things?

Always, for anything you want? Without money you get nothing?

This is not good. They still use money.

Where is all their water?

I've been walking for an hour and I haven't even seen a stream.

But this is not a desert. If there are trees, there must be water.

Excuse me, sir...

I'm not fooling you at all, but where can I find some water around here?

What do you mean, not fooling me?

I mean I seriously want to know if there is any water nearby.

- What do you mean, water? - Water to drink.

But above all, to take a foot bath.

- Are you fooling me? - No, not at all.

- Here is a bar. - A bar.

Is there water in a bar?

You are fooling me, madam.

Apparently, water means something else here.

What's that over there?

There is water.

But what did they put in it?

Hello. Can you hear me? It's Mila.

Yes, I'm doing fine. I've arrived safely in Paris.

Compliments for the precision.

They have really fantastic trees.

Osam, are you there?

Can you tell me where you have hidden the gold?

Because I've got a problem. They haven't abolished money.

No, you get nothing without money.

What? Where is that?

Something like a large barn?

With lots of chairs and coloured windows?

What do you say?

It's called Notre-Dame de Paris? Good.

Do you think it still exists?

This is a beautiful barn.

Too bad there aren't any trees, but it's not bad.

What's that? One of us?

Yes, the guy we sent 2,000 years ago, who was crucified.

It's Jesus.

It gives me the chills.

What are you doing, madam?

I'm taking some gold.

- What for? - To buy some food.

- Is it money? - No, it's gold.

I've got money. Look.

The same square thing like the woman gave for the cadaver.

With this I can buy a lot of candy.

If I give you a coin, will you give me something to eat? I'm hungry.

Then I want three of those coins, because they aren't worth much.

- No? - My note is worth more than your coins.

Okay.

Finally someone who doesn't get upset immediately.

Three pieces, here you go.

Do you know who that is?

Yes, that's Jesus.

So you know him? Do you know why he's hanging there?

- Because he was born at Christmas. - Oh yeah?

I got a gun and a racing car for Christmas.

Louis, come here.

Well, well. You crucify someone and get a gun and a car.

Where did you get this?

Now I understand why they're all ill here.

My stomach is torn.

I have to find another solution.

Hello? Can you hear me?

Yes, I have found the gold, but it is worthless.

Now they only use notes. Made of paper.

I have also seen a statue of Jesus. Crucified. Yeah, I'm serious.

Eating and drinking is a disaster. It makes me sick.

I need the baby exchange program.

Yes, I think they have babies.

Okay, bring it on.

I got it, thanks.

- Wait! What's that outfit? - Outfit?

What a fabulous fabric, I've never seen something like this.

What is it made of?

This is half shaggy carpet fabric and half biodegradable cardboard.

This is new-age to die for.

And those shoes are really cool. I'm dreaming of plush shoes.

Where did you get all this? Come on, give me the address.

The address? It's not very close. Actually, it's very far away.

- Do you like it? - Do I like it?

Absolutely. Empire is my dream.

If I give you my clothes, will you tell me where I can find babies?

Okay.

And will I get your clothes?

Yes.

They're somewhere here, I feel it. Over here.

I'm hungry. I'm almost collapsing.

She's beautiful. Was my mother like that too?

You don't look so good.

Come on, sweetheart. Come on.

We're going to charge.

You have a fever.

Yes, darling, I'm coming.

Here's your milk.

What are you doing, madam?

- Where am I? - What are you doing with that baby?

We are charging each other.

- What? - I'm really not fooling you.

- Are you family? - What family?

- You are a Serb. - What?

I'm warning you. If you harm the baby...

I'm not harming him. On the contrary. The fever is gone.

He has problems.

- What problems? - He doesn't have a mother.

- How do you know he doesn't have a mother? - I just know. I feel it.

His mother abandoned him yesterday.

She went to get a newspaper and never came back.

- She's not coming back? - She was raped by Serbs.

If she goes to her Bosnian family with a Serbian baby,

they'll both be banished.

Banished, just like me.

- Why did you come and get him? - I just wanted to charge.

What? Watch out, the chief.

The what?

- Does he still have the fever? - Yes. Although, after this morning...

- Yes or no? - Now, he doesn't have...

- Is the mother back? - No, she didn't...

- And who's that? - I don't know. I found her...

- What are you doing, madam? - I...

Put the baby back in his crib.

If you want.

Is this your baby?

- Was she here before? - I don't think so. I...

- Does she know the mother? - I don't know if...

- So why does she have the baby in her arms? - I was just...

- You can also ask your questions... - Were you on duty?

Do you always interrupt everybody like this?

Excuse me?

No need to apologise. I'm just asking if you're always like this.

- How am I always? - You're not listening to people.

It's more practical to listen if someone is talking.

Madam, do you know with whom you are talking?

I'm talking with you.

Professor Max Varron, department chief.

- Ah, you're the leader. - Yes, madam.

That's why it's so hard to talk with him. But he is sympathetic.

- Are you family of this child? - Of him? It's possible that...

Tell the mother if she...

Sorry, I've just arrived in France, so I don't know...

Explain that to the police.

I don't know Thepolice.

Excuse me.

I'll disconnect him, to see it.

Only through her we can get him back to his mother. Call the...

The pol...

The pol...

Why do you comb your hair like that, Gérard?

You have such curly hair, Gérard.

I've never noticed it before.

Excuse me, Mr Max, can I talk to you?

Mr Max, my name is Mila. I'm from another planet.

- I need your help. - My help?

Yes. Firstly, I need to come here to charge myself.

- I can't eat or drink your food. - Eat or drink nothing?

But if I hold a baby for a few hours, I'll have enough energy for a few days.

- And for them it's good, too. - That too.

And I need help choosing whom I will disconnect, you understand?

Disconnect, yes.

It's best if I stay with you, to discuss everything.

With me?

I don't need a lot of space. Can I sleep outside?

- I have a balcony. - Fine, I'll sleep on the balcony.

Max, we have to finish our round. There are two deliveries due.

Two deliveries? I'm not sure if I can do that.

- What? - You should do those deliveries.

You're the midwife, right?

- What? - I know nothing about deliveries.

I disinfect, push and pull. I measure and watch the monitor.

I give epidurals and I do cesareans. But I've never done a delivery.

I never watched, listened nor understood.

In fact, I did the wrong things, because I was too scared.

Because I can't deliver, you understand?

- No. - Yes, you understand it very well.

Just do it. You will do better than me.

And tell me everything about it.

- Good morning, Mrs Danyan. - Good morning.

How are you doing?

I have some pain, but further I'm fine.

Do you have a lot of pain?

It's not that bad, it's just a little...

How does it feel to give birth to a baby?

- How it feels? - Yes.

It's like some spaghetti is being pulled out.

- Do you understand? - Ah.

- After that, it doesn't hurt anymore. - Yes?

Then they lay the baby on your stomach and you feel its weight.

- But now on the outside. - Yes.

And that's really indescribable.

This is the balcony. Will that do?

Yes, excellent. Thank you very much.

There's my wife.

Good evening.

Florence, this is Mila. She'll stay for a while on the balcony.

What?

Good evening, madam. I just need a bit of space.

I don't eat, but I need water. Do you have water?

- Water? - In the kitchen?

- In the bathroom. - Is there a bath? Can I see it?

- This is it. - Excellent.

- Is there no water in the well? - What well?

- This one. - The bathtub?

- Yes, there's no water? - Yes, but you have to fill it up first.

- Okay. And how do I do that? - Open the water.

Oh. Where?

With the tap. This is for hot water and this one for cold.

Ah. The tap.

Yes, cold is fine. Thank you.

- But you have to close it. - Close what?

- The bathtub. - Close the bathtub, yes.

What's going on?

- I don't know. - What do you mean, you don't know?

I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.

Yes, I found some babies. I'm not hungry anymore.

I have water and I've disconnected one already.

Who has been playing with my Walkman? I am fed up.

- What's wrong with it? - My favorite music is all messed up.

I'm sick of this place. You let Sophie play with my things.

And what happened to the TV? Now the TV is broken as well.

- Sophie! - What is it?

I've had enough. Don't touch my Walkman or the TV.

- I didn't touch anything. - Calm down, Raoul.

Yes, just defend her. Or maybe it was you.

- You're both retarded with these things. - Raoul, give me that Walkman.

- What? Why? - Give it to me.

- Everything is fine. Thank you for... - Hey!

The TV works again. My Walkman too? May I try?

- Switch off the TV, please. - What?

Switch it off.

What's wrong with him?

Maybe he should go to sleep early. He is very tired.

He got a little disconnection.

- A what? - A small shock.

Are you crazy? They'll be stolen. You can't just leave them there.

- How could I have let this happen? - What?

They say children are a mirror of their parents.

I must be an asshole.

You really don't want any blankets?

No, I'm fine. Thank you.

- Good night. - Good night.

Dad has gone crazy. Do you know what he did?

He has put the TV and my Walkman on the street.

And he said it's time to talk to each other. He is...

Are you now sheltering the homeless?

Florence, am I an asshole?

What do you mean, an asshole?

An idiot who doesn't understand a damn thing.

- Undoubtedly, yes. - Yes what?

An idiot who doesn't understand a damn thing, that's really you.

Really? Then why do you stay with me?

For your bank account, my dear. Legal prostitution.

Really? Is that the only reason?

Yes. I don't understand a damn thing neither.

Good morning. Did you sleep well?

Yes, very well. But that sound has a strange effect on me.

- It looks like you like rock 'n' roll. - I like what?

The music. Do you like it?

Oh, that sound. Yes, it's nice. But please, turn it off, because...

- Shall I turn off the music? - Please.

That's pretty tiring.

- You don't have any music? - Not any more. We silence concerts.

- Ah. Silence... - Yes, but once we did have music.

We've even sent a musician, one of us to you.

- An excellent one, long time ago. - Really?

This is all music. All they sell here is music.

Do you want to hear something?

I'm already listening.

What do you mean?

These discs, like you said.

- Can you hear them? - Yes. If I concentrate, I can hear them.

- I can also have you hear them. - All right, go ahead.

Listen.

- Or everybody here in the store. - Yes? How?

I connect the discs to those things there.

I don't know what they are called. With frequency waves.

- Want to hear it? - Yes, please.

This one?

That's Johan Sebastian.

The man I told you about. The one we have sent here.

- Who? - Johan Sebastian.

Occasionally we still sing his music.

This one.

And two of these.

- Here you are. - Thanks.

- Do you hear anything? - No.

She could sometimes make some contact.

On three we try it all together. One, two, three.

That's weird. I hear some kind of buzzing in my ears.

- What are you doing? - I'm waiting for you.

- You want a vase for your flowers? - They are for you.

For me?

- This can't fix the past. - I want to disappear for a while.

- I don't leave you, I leave myself. - Yes.

The food is ready, if you want some.

No, thank you. I'm going to the hospital to charge.

Okay.

- May I ask you something? - Yeah, sure.

I'm sorry, but can I see what's in your bag?

In my bag? Yes, of course.

- All the time, I'm wondering what's inside. - No problem.

This is to open houses.

- And what is this? - It's red lipstick.

And what's that for?

To put on your lips. Like this.

On your lips? Is it a medicine?

No, it's not a medicine. It's to make yourself beautiful.

- Why? - To be sexy.

- Sexy? - Attractive.

- To whom? - To everyone.

That must be difficult.

So they love you.

I see. It's a kind of medicine so everyone loves you?

Not exactly, it's...

If you don't put it, then nobody loves you anymore?

Yes, but...

It's hard to explain. It's...

What did I say? Did I hurt you?

No, it's nothing.

And this?

These are photos.

That's Max, my parents, and the children.

People you love. That's it, eh?

But why they don't have red lipstick on their lips?

Hello.

You're crying. What is it?

Tomorrow they'll take him away.

- His mother? - No, the DDASS.

- What's that? - The Child Protection Service.

I'll never see him again. No one will care for him.

- Then take him yourself. - Are you crazy?

You can't just do that. You need papers.

- Papers? - Papers proving he exists.

But he exists.

Not like that. He has lungs and a heart, but without those papers he doesn't exist.

There's that buzzing in my ears again.

We'll try again tomorrow.

Sonia. Come on, I have to go back to the hospital immediately.

We took the baby. He's going to sleep here tonight.

Show him to me.

- What shall we call him? - Theodore.

- Why Theodore? That's so old-fashioned. - It means "gift of God", or something.

How are you, my Theodore?

Can I hold him for a bit?

Sonia, give Theodore to... What's your name again?

- Mila. - To Mila.

This is his bottle. Warm it up in hot water. There are the diapers.

- Do you have a bath? - We'll wash it in the sink.

Not for him, but for me.

- Are you sure it was the mother? - Absolutely. I know her from delivering.

- You've just let her take him? - She's his mother.

- You shouldn't have allowed it. - Why not? I was glad she came back.

You knew we would come to take him.

Sonia.

They are going to investigate.

Macha? That's a good woman.

She's working here for two years, without any problems.

According to her, the mother took him.

- Then it must be true. - Not at all.

The mother has been traced by the Refugee Service.

She never came back. She abandoned her baby.

So where is the baby?

Finally, there you are.

- Hello, mommy. You okay? - Fine. And you?

Excellent. How is it over there?

Many cars, turds everywhere, and food is difficult.

- Can you show us where you are? - I'll send you an image.

Wait, someone's coming. Yes, come in.

I was just bathing my feet.

Excuse me, I need something for the baby.

Holy cow. She's beautiful.

Mom, who was that?

- Who? - Who just came in.

That's Macha, I'm at her place.

Give her to me for a moment.

Mom, may I see it, too?

Yes, wait. I'll try.

Excuse me, some dirty laundry.

Holy cow. She's beautiful.

I'm almost done.

Mommy, who was that?

That's Sonia, the younger sister of Macha. Can you give me to the kids?

Hello, mommy?

What's wrong with the radio?

- Did you see that? She's talking to herself. - Yes, she's weird.

What? Now it works again.

Okay, I'm done.

What is that?

I have a bad feeling, something is going to happen.

They're close. Go hide quickly with the baby.

I don't know who, but they are coming to get the baby. Hide.

- But where? - Upstairs. Quickly.

Come on, Sonia.

- Mrs Macha Virna? - No, she doesn't live here any more.

- Ah. Since when? - Since I live here.

- Since when? - About six months.

- Her employer gave us this address. - Yes? What's going on?

We are from the DDASS. We are looking for a missing baby.

What baby?

- May we know your name, madam? - Yes, Mila.

- Miss Mila? - Yes, Mila. Miss Mila.

- Do you have a baby? - No, I don't have a baby.

- Aren't those diapers? - What?

- The diapers. - There is a pack of diapers.

- I have diapers? - On the chair over there.

Oh, that. Yes, those are...

Diapers.

If you say so.

- And the baby? - I don't have a baby. I have diapers, but...

- Diapers and babies usually go together. - Oh yeah?

Thank you, madam.

They will be back. I must be mad. I'm going to jail for kidnapping.

- Do you want to bring him back? - No, then the DDASS will take him.

- What do you think... - What?

- Shall we go to the Louvre? - Why?

- There are many paintings with babies. - Really?

Please, Osam. We'll tell nobody you helped us.

- But everyone will know. - We would really like to go.

The planet meeting decides about travels. You can't just go without permission.

Please, just help us.

Why are you suddenly so eager to go?

- We have seen two girls. - When we spoke with mom.

Ah, girls.

What did you tell mom before she left?

Her mother, your grandmother, was an earthling.

Oh yeah?

We want to see the place our grandmother comes from.

Max, we have a small problem. We have to live here for a while.

- What? - And we have a baby with us.

- You took him. - Yes, the DDASS is looking for him.

Oh, jeez.

Madam, sir, we're closing.

Take this, against the turds.

Thanks.

And what should I say to her?

Tell her you'll look after the children and we are gone.

- She's not going to like that very much. - Just say it's our fault.

Keep in mind I can not guarantee the exact spot of your landing.

Doesn't matter.

- Where did she see all those cars? - And trees with large green leaves?

Not bad.

A little lack of water, but it's beautiful.

There are no turds at all.

Also not so many people.

Wait, I hear something.

- A kind of singing. - Yes, indeed.

Hello. We are two people from another planet.

- Yes, please. - Okay, we'll walk in that direction.

- Very nice people. - They invited us for dinner straightaway.

- They are very friendly. - And excellent with telepathy.

Mommy is silly.

- What's with that TV? - I don't have a TV or Walkman any more.

I borrowed it from someone.

Turn it off immediately.

That TV is eating up your head. You don't have any contact with anyone.

- It's not the TV eating up my head. - No? Then what does?

Sorry to interrupt, but I'd love to watch that square thing.

- What thing? - That thing.

- The TV? - Yes, I've never seen anything like it.

- Maybe Raoul can explain to me how... - Okay, if you wish.

Mr Robet, what are your employment plans?

My party and I have a simple motto: Create jobs, jobs, jobs. Create...

No matter what, as long as the statistics look good, and we can fill our pockets.

- I've got an idea for new work. - Yes? What?

It's very easy and without any investment.

- Cheap? - Absolutely free.

Anyone can do it? Nobody excluded?

Everyone, without any training.

One can start immediately and the statistics are stunning.

- What is it? - Turd eater.

- Turd eater? - Yes.

- Turd eater? The material costs nothing... - And everyone can do it.

Especially the unemployed, they are already used to it.

But the problem is, what's the use?

- Nothing. - What do you mean?

Nobody cares. As long as the statistics improve.

It doesn't matter if it yields better statistics.

Good point.

We'll start a major campaign to improve the image of the turd eater.

They eat turds and get money for it.

Their own tax money. Further, nothing changes.

- Fantastic. - They already get paid.

They shouldn't expect useful work as well. Arrogance has limits.

Recently someone told me:

If we demolish all ugly buildings and clean up the planet,

there'll be work for the next 500 years.

He's crazy. Because what will we get next?

We might as well turn the whole society upside down.

Exactly, that would be really meaningful. But we shouldn't want meaningful things.

Help.

We won't change anything. Turd eaters is an excellent idea.

- Come on, unemployed. - Get to work.

This is funny.

- What is this nonsense? - Bunch of turd eaters.

There's that buzzing again.

There she is.

Hi, mom. How are you?

- With us, everything is good. - And how are the kids?

We don't have any news, because...

What do you mean, no news?

- Don't worry, they're fine. - Hey mom, we are on Earth.

It's really cool here. We met some awesome people.

Not at all like you said.

They've lived here for 40,000 years and didn't damage anything.

They're very beautiful and completely black.

They have the same medicine. And excellent food.

And they are superb with telepathy.

They immediately welcomed us like family.

- They are as advanced as we are. - Earth is very beautiful.

Mommy, how can we get to you?

No idea. I don't know where you are.

I'll wake up Max. Maybe he knows how.

Meanwhile I'll send you the disconnection program.

You will need smiling as well.

I'll send it now.

Your credit cards, please.

Have a nice trip.

- Yes. - Thank you.

- We need to get in touch with mom. - But there's no water.

Maybe there, in that thing?

Let's have a look.

- No water. - But it's beautiful.

It makes sounds.

A thing to make music?

Would they still have music?

You still remember that piece of Johan Sebastian?

- The one we always sang. - Yes.

Somebody's coming.

Hey, I found something with water.

- Where? - Come and see.

- Look, here is water. - Yes, this is fine.

It's a bit small, but should be okay.

Hi, mom. How are you? We're in an airplane. Everything is going well.

They said we'll arrive at Roissy at 18 hours 30.

I have no idea what that means, but maybe you know.

We are hungry. We couldn't eat their food.

Hey, hurry up.

Passport, please.

Are you okay?

I feel something is not right. They are in danger.

You two, stop!

- Your passports. - See?

This is Max.

Good...

- You have disconnected them, eh? - I'm afraid so.

- Sir, are you an orchestra? - Yes, why?

- And are you playing right now? - Right now? We are playing continuously.

- Tonight as well? - Yes, tonight we'll play in the Bastille.

- Why? - I just wondered. Thank you.

- Is that you, Macha? - Is that you, Sonia?

Do we know you?

- No, but... - We know you.

Now I understand why...

I hope they haven't started yet.

Two tickets, please. Have they already started?

- Half an hour ago. - Good heavens.

Wait, I'll connect them again.

- That was the wrong one. - The conductor and soloist. Oh dear.

I can try again, but aiming is difficult.

I'll disconnect a few more, before I hit the right ones.

No, don't. Just let it be.

I want music, but not theory.

Making music can be without history.

Learning to play in only one way.

At the conservatory, with one sole aim.

To play with feeling. Feeling!

There are many lakes. Everybody lives at a lake.

It's always warm, but in the evening it rains for an hour.

We don't have houses.

We sleep in a kind of nest made of grass.

When we wake up, we wash ourselves in the lake.

We have breakfast.

We wash our clothes.

And then we do acrobatics to get stronger.

Our family has chosen the trapeze. The whole family does it.

- Also the elderly? - Yes, my mother, too. And she is 150.

150 years?

Yes, she already has her third set of teeth.

- Her what? - Around 135 we get a third set of teeth.

You too, if you would live that long.

And that's very possible. We also died much younger during the industrial era.

One family is good at jumping, the other at slack rope walking.

And who rules the planet?

Nobody. Everybody.

Every year representatives of each village have a meeting on a mountaintop.

Why on a mountaintop?

After walking for two hours on a mountain, you're more intelligent.

There's also a meeting about birth control.

Birth control?

We decide how many children we can get, depending on the expected harvest.

In the morning we do acrobatics.

And then we eat.

What do you eat?

Everything. Fruit, vegetables, olives, raw vegetable balls, cereals.

- And meat? - No, we eat beans.

Beans are delicious.

We eat everything raw.

- You don't have fire? - Yes, but we don't need it any more.

Except to make sickles once a year.

And then we work on the land.

Loumi!

- What? - Come here.

Here you are.

In the afternoon we train our brains.

We have lessons in telepathy, future predicting,

intergalactic travelling and spatial mathematics.

- What is that, spatial mathematics? - Children are best at it.

Loumi, go hide for a bit.

10,

20,

23.

Loumi, come back now.

23.

- Do you know what will happen in the future? - No, I don't.

- Not even if you concentrate well? - No.

- That's a pity. - It's not always nice to know.

But I would like to know.

Ask the boys. I'm not good at archeology.

After the industrial era, we had lawsuits and boycotts.

Lawsuits?

Anyone who produced harmful things...

stood trial for genocide and crimes against the planet.

- Who? - The food and chemical industry,

manufacturers of weapons, tobacco and alcohol, the pharmaceutical and nuclear industry,

car companies, architects,

and many doctors and politicians who enriched themselves.

- That's quite a lot. - Yes, it was a civil war.

- Then came the boycott. - The boycott?

Anything which was harmful to us, we no longer bought, or we threw it away.

The absolute weapon, without buyers no power.

The police couldn't do anything against it.

- What did we call that era? - The Chaos before Rebirth.

- Next followed a rebirth? - Absolutely.

Can you show us how you drive a car?

You're still interested in cars, eh?

Sorry, we're really sorry.

Asshole!

- We're really sorry. - Sorry.

Asshole!

What kind of asshole are you? Can't you watch out?

Stupid asshole. Can you even drive, you retarded moron?

- Excuse me, sir. I'm sorry. - Asshole!

- I was talking to... - You were dreaming, idiot!

- Your mirror isn't broken. - Asshole!

There's nothing wrong with your mirror.

You should learn how to drive, imbecile.

I'm really sorry. Will you accept my apologies?

Asshole!

- How terrible what happened to you! - What?

I said, how terrible what happened to you.

Asshole.

Four out of five people on Earth are starving to death.

People live in shelters against bombs.

Others die of AIDS and cancer.

Women are raped by 25 men to show who's in charge.

And then there's you. You also suffered something terrible.

We hit your mirror.

Sir, calm down.

The trees above you, with leaves waving in the wind.

Have you ever seen that?

Your wife is wasting her youth in the kitchen, while you're cheating on her.

Did you ever really look at your wife?

Your kids have a nice smooth skin. Did you ever thank somebody for that?

And the cows producing milk, butter and cheese every day.

Did you ever thank those cows?

- You're crazy, sir. - But your office life is beautiful.

Absolutely fantastic. Look at the sales.

But then there's a problem. We hit your mirror!

What a disaster!

Thanks. I'm sorry.

Thanks.

I'm sorry. Thanks.

- What's going on around here? - I'll explain to you later.

We have to go back.

- But right now? - The kids are all alone.

Osam and the neighbors are with them.

True, they are really nice girls.

- We're in love. - I noticed.

- Can't we take them with us? - To our planet?

- And their family? - Their mother died.

Their father is unemployed and an alcoholic. I don't know what that means.

They don't know where he is.

If they find the baby with them, they'll go to jail.

It is indeed a nice baby.

- Mommy, please. - Ask them.

- They agree. - Okay, then...

Hey, Mila. My friend's father works in the stadium.

He gave us tickets for the match tonight.

Can't we do the same, like with those guys on television?

OLYMPIQUE DE MARSEILLE

Can you disconnect the players?

- Disconnect them? - Yes.

Hey, help me out. I'll count to three.

One, two, three.

Did you steal it?

I just borrowed it. It's good for dancing.

We'll come and visit you with the baby.

We'll come back again.

Don't cry, Raoul.

- We will meet again. - Yes.

This is for you.

To disconnect your teachers a bit, if needed. Don't abuse it.

- Thanks for everything. - No, you've...

No, my program didn't give you goodness. You already had it in you.

- See you soon. - Yes.

Mila!

Mila, come look!

I made new clothes for Macha and Sonia.

The telepathy teacher said after the Empire style came the crinolines.

Crinolines? They are beautiful, but...

To make them feel at home.

That's nice of you. Thanks.

They're not good?

No, they're great for parties.

- Mila, come here. Quickly. - What is it?

What's this?

A gift from Mesaje and Mesaul.

It took a while before we knew how to get the sound to play.

- What's this? - A silence concert.

Why is everyone laughing?

- It's hard to explain, it's... - Our humor.

It was because... Didn't you hear it?

- No. - There was a...

- How can I explain it? - It's difficult with just words.

- Will we ever be able to hear it? - Yes, of course. Especially you.

Soon.

Translation and synchronisation: SmallBrother

Many thanks to scooby007 for feedback and corrections

And of course infinite thanks to Coline Serreau and Studio Canal for producing this awesome movie.