Original subtitles

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Prime Entertainment

So lonely!

Do you know the pain of living alone?

Don't you pity me, a widow of 30 years?

I've been praying, but no man has come along.

How come you keep quiet?

Are you ignoring me?

Say something!

God!

Looks so bizarre.

What's this stick for?

What the...

What's going on?

What the...

Who are you?

As soon as she said that,

it turned into men and did her?

- What is this... - Chief!

My stomach...

That prick...

What's this for?

Let's enjoy our lives.

I told you not to say it...

It looks so hard and sturdy.

What's this stick for?

The totem pole's wooden nose couldn't be destroyed.

So we put it inside the 100-year old wine and buried it...

... underneath the totem pole.

A Tale of Legendary Libido

Presented by Showbox / Mediaplex

Produced by Prime Entertainment

How long has it been?

Executive producer KIM Woo-taek

Co-executive producer RYU Jeong-hun I can't believe this.

Associate producer D. S KIM The rumor is true after all.

Producer LEE Seo-yull The incident is said to have increased Yin in the area.

The unbalance of Yin and Yang...

Femininity is too strong here.

# Gods of Heaven and Earth

# Please, hear our song

# Grant my husband

# a sweet dream tonight

Scrub it well!

Produced by JUNG Hyun

Directed and Written by SHIN Han-sol

Who are they?

They're thugs from the neighboring village.

No man from our village dares to challenge them.

Pitiful sissies!

We're out of drinks here!

That pig has no manners.

Got any money?

We'll pay when we leave. Get us more drinks!

Forget it! Ignorant bastard...

What the fuck!

What's he drinking then?

You got a problem? Something to say?

What did you put on?

Is that perfume I smell?

Byun, please ignore them.

I don't want any trouble here.

What the hell!

You son of a...

It looks good.

You!

What the hell!

Oh my gosh!

- Who's that guy? - Stop drooling!

Look at his nose.

A big nose means a big cock. Right, girls?

Hey! Hey! Hey!

He's not the man you think he is.

What?

He's the weakest of the weak.

Don't judge a book by its cover.

What do you mean?

Do I really have to tell this story again?

It was a night of the crescent.

He was selling rice cakes.

Rice cakes! Rice cakes!

Rice cakes! Rice cakes!

Rice cakes...

Here!

It's a buck for two.

But I'll give you one more for free.

Is this your first time?

Sure this is your first time.

- Your voice sounds... - What about it?

Do I sound old?

The old gets horny, too.

Maybe I'm doomed for life.

Of all the men in this world you came along.

Some luck!

Why? What's wrong with me?

You don't know?

A straw is thicker than your thing.

A straw?

You're like an eunuch!

An eunuch? Is that true?

You girls haven't been here long enough to know.

Only if his lower half worked as well as his mouth.

He's just shell of a man.

Hey, don't look at me like that.

I'm still your first girl! Remember?

Brother!

God, he's so manly.

Unlike his brother!

Look at his thing. No woman can say no.

So big...

You're Byun, aren't you?

No, I'm not.

I can tell by the pissing sound.

I'm not Byun!

No, no...

What the fuck!

Kang-mok!

He's drunk. Please forgive him.

So sorry.

Byun, let's go.

Stop acting like you're all that.

I want to get drunk.

I'm gonna get wasted!

A real man with a wussy brother...

How could they be brothers?

Kang-mok cares so much for his brother...

...because he's half a man that he should be.

I bet he puts him before his life.

Feeling better?

Put me down. I'll walk.

Stop wiggling, Byun.

Just put me down.

I got some dried squids for you.

Who says I like it? Put me down!

Sit.

Sit down!

Here.

It's a ground turtle and a bear gall.

It cost me an arm and a leg.

They say nothing's better for fixing your problem.

I don't need it.

Hey!

Byun! Byun!

Rice cakes!

Rice cakes!

Rice cakes!

Sell this to a kid?

Byun, you're on fire!

Brother!

Water... Water!

Lie down! Quick!

- Brother! - On your back!

Move!

Byun!

All burned.

Darling is way better, though.

Who's that?

Don't you know?

She moved into a hut a few days ago

Ah, her? I hear she's a bit loose.

Oh, that one!

Huddle up.

Rumor has it that when she was young...

...she was captured by the Japanese as a sex slave.

Then she managed to escape.

- You know what? - What?

Her eyes are so sexy.

So are her scarlet lips.

I bet she's real horny.

Like you have done her!

Not yet. But I'm planning to.

You guys want to come along?

Where?

She bathes here every night?

We made a trip for nothing.

Tonight isn't the only night. I'm sorry.

Isn't that Byun?

What are you doing here?

You wanted a piece of her, too?

- No, I'm here to bathe. - Yeah, sure!

Aren't those breasts?

My shoe!

Help!

What's that?

This is what they're up to!

So she's that Darling whore!

Stop!

Cool?

You come here. How many guys did you attract?

- You're dead! - You're dead meat!

Come here! You bitch!

- Come on, bitch! - Come here!

Ladies!

What's this nonsense?

Kang-mok...

Come here, assholes!

If I see you again, you're dead!

You shouldn't have interfered!

Stop right there!!

Are you okay?

Don't you understand?

You want me to say one more time?

We have 5 days to get ready for wedding.

Getting married? Got a girl stashed away?

Come on out.

She will be our family.

Take good care of her.

She's been through a lot.

Get her something to drink.

Byun? Byun? Hey!

- Help!

Please, help!

Anyone there?

Help!

Thanks.

When will an old flower bloom?

You're strong but weak down there.

# It looks fine outside,

# but inside is a lonely soul

Nice.

Do You drink?

Not anymore.

Alcohol's good for an impotent. It's too bad.

An impotent? What're you talking about?

Your brother has a birthmark by his belly button?

And you have one on your thigh?

It's the dried squid.

Triviality was root of the problem.

I can tell.

Do you know why the totem pole is missing a nose?

You saved my life. I should repay you.

Listen carefully.

Go to the village shrine.

Face the totem pole.

2 steps back, 2 to the left,

2 steps forward, and 2 to the right.

You'll be where you started.

Dig the ground and you'll find a bottle.

Drink the potion inside.

Then you'll bloom like no other.

It'll fix your impotency.

After you wake up, no intercourse is allowed for 15 days.

It should be exactly 15 days from the moment you wake up.

If you're to have intercourse,

you'll lose everything.

I can be a real man?

You got it! But remember one thing.

Drink only one sip.

One sip?

Don't go overboard.

Your fortune can turn into the village's misery.

Don't drink more than a sip. Don't get greedy.

If you do, the village will suffer a great deal.

Understood?

Understood?

He's gone.

Hey! Hey!

Did you get the whole thing?

I have a bad feeling about this.

This is not good. Not good at all...

Stop there, you bastard!

You've been hiding here to evade the draft?

Stop it. I know this guy.

You know him?

Byun, where have you been?

I thought you left the village.

What do you mean?

Don't you know war has broken out?

Every man has been drafted.

So has your brother.

He finished his duty last year.

He went to war on behalf of you.

He asked the army to be drafted instead.

Because they take one man from each household.

Go on.

You're lucky to have him for your brother.

Wait up!

What a brother you have!

Here.

Would you like some...

An old flower will bloom. You will be in full bloom.

It'll fix your impotency.

What's this smell?

A fire? It's a wildfire!

I gotta pee.

I want to pee.

You're Byun, aren't you?

I'm not Byun.

He put out the fire?

I can't believe it. He's impotent, right?

Are you sure? It can't be him.

Yeah, I heard his thing was 3 inches long.

But you haven't seen it.

I heard it was 5.

5 inches?

It's only half the size of this.

He couldn't have put out the fire with it.

There goes the madam.

Hey there!

What is it now?

Come here.

Come here.

You saw it, didn't you? Is it 4 or 5 inches?

- Byun's thing? - Yes

Didn't you say it was 5?

Yes, it's 5.

That's only the head.

No way!

Why's he doing that at night?

Just wait. He'll shower afterwards.

They're on the ground.

What?

Both of his feet!

Feet? Feet?

How's that possible?

If it's not his feet, then...

Two.

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