Original subtitles

''Love is like a ship that never sinks.''

''Baby, I'm your iceberg.''

''I'm going to take you down.''

''I'm going to take you down’’…

''with no survivors.''

Okay, that's the plot of Titanic! Shit!

Something fresh.

''She's like a fruit. I want to take a bite.''

''A fruit helps with digestion.''

''And she's my obsession.''

''I got that fruit seeds in my…

No that’s…

That's objectification.

Ok, that's objectification.

Hmmm, no!

Nice.

''I got my feet tapping and butt cramping.''

''She's like fine wine, I want fine dining.''

That's not even the same genre.

Great. That's also gone.

Just talk to her.

Okay.

Time for inspiration, man!

Just be… No, I can't do this.

Talk to her for the song.

Be genuine. Be cool.

Hi , can you help me write a love song in one day?

What?

Can I buy you a drink?

It's ladies night. It's kind of free, you know.

Yeah.

Wait, can I buy you a drink?

Yeah, that'll be great.

Actually, no. Sorry.

I don't drink when I'm working.

Musician.

Yes.

What are you working on right now?

I'm working on a love song.

Wow! How original!

Actually, we have 3 more originals.

One's about the system…

And one's about... Oh yeah, you were insulting me, sorry.

No, it's kind of cute.

So, are you writing about someone specific?

Specific, yeah.

There is someone specific.

Is there someone specific for you?

That you have specific feelings for, specifically?

No, not at the moment.

Hmm.

I mean, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here all alone…

Just one day before Valentine's Day, would I?

Yeah.

Anyway, who's your someone specific?

She's not here.

Oh what happened?

She's gone.

My God! Did she die? - Yeah...

Yeah.

Shit! I'm so sorry. - It's okay.

What happened?

So many… things happened.

She was hit...

By a bus… stop - What?

Sign… On the head of the car. - Okay.

Don't worry, it was quick.

Painless… You know what… Why am I talking about myself?

You know, I should go. - No, it's okay.

I'm so sorry. I mean…

You know I can totally relate to…

You can?

No, nobody died but…

It kind of hurt.

So what happened?

I'm sure it was serious.

I'm sure it was… - It was just a break-up.

C'mon, talking about it helps.

Well, you know, like when you're in love…

Everything's like sunshine, rainbows and then…

There's this field that you're always running together…

Yeah.

When they're gone, it's just like…

Raining… It just gets mucky.

You get stuck.

You don't know where you are…

And what you're going to do in life.

You just have to like deal with it all alone.

Yeah, you're alone. - You know…

What are you doing?

I like to draw.

Are you writing whatever I'm saying? - No.

Yeah.

Dude, You're such a loser. Why can't you write your own lyrics?

But what you're saying is so good.

And the mucky thing…

Wait… Are these original lyrics and not a song…

Dude, didn't your girlfriend just die or something?

No, I didn't have a girlfriend.

Oh my God!

Sorry, I made it up. - Wow!

I…

You're disgusting!

No, I’m…

What happened in the mucky rain?

Shit!

Hi, can I buy you a drink?

Don't even bother man, I heard it all.

Bro, what's happening?

Nothing, I was just getting the feel.

You know the lyrics have to…

You know you do this weird…

A.R. Rahman noise thing every time you don't have lyrics.

What? Lyrics again…

Granny liked it. - Right, granny?

No, she doesn't. She likes my guitar riff.

And it's still rough.

And I've been practising all morning.

Oh, c'mon, okay?

I've heard this tune before.

You have some old guitar riffs lying around…

And you use it whenever you want.

It's not my fault that I don't have…

Old love stories lying around to use…

Whenever I want for a song.

Actually, it is your fault.

How's it my fault?

Once Sumaira asked you out in the ninth standard.

You should've said yes.

You rejected her just because she's taller than you!

She wasn't taller than me!

Okay? She has really long legs.

If 60% is legs means…

Granny, I really need your help.

You're a wise old woman, right?

You must've had a few relationships when you were young.

Any cute romances near the temple area?

Flirting? No?

Oh, what about when you met Rohan's grandfather?

Some beautiful experience?

Was it like love at first sight?

Ya maybe not. You're right.

What about when Rohan's grandfather passed away? God bless his soul.

How was that experience?

If you could describe that feeling…

In like three stanzas and one chorus…

Bridge, I don't mind… - Dude, can you not do that?

She's sleeping.

What? No, she's listening to me.

Okay, why's that short freak here?

Oh hey! - Hey, Kenneth.

Hi, man. What's up?

Is that your grandmother?

Yes.

Hello, grandma. - Can you not... She's sleeping.

Oh Sorry.

So, bro. I spoke to the studio guys.

They said if we don't record the EP tomorrow…

The next available date is only in March.

Oh, that's not too bad.

It's next year bro, 2005!

Okay, that late.

Okay, why is he… - Why are you speaking to the studio?

Didn't you tell him? - No.

Yeah, I told him.

One second. You want to talk outside for 2 minutes?

I want to tell you something.

Let's just talk outside for 2 minutes.

Quick chat.

Don't touch that. Put it down.

Put it down. - Yeah.

One second.

Okay, listen. He said he'll help us…

With the recording studio for the album.

He scratches our back, we scratch his back.

How the hell is that scratching each other's backs?

We're not doing anything for him. What's he getting out of it?

Dude!

You saw Purple Harmony ill treating him full day.

Carrying guitars and all. Poor guy dude!

He offered to help us. It's not like I asked him.

What do we have to lose?

Can you not touch that, you creep?

Are these yours?

Yeah. I mean, no. They belong to the woman I am…

Sleeping with. - Hey!

Sorry, grandma. I thought you're sleeping.

Hey, c'mon!

How can she leave this room and not realise she's not wearing panties?

Okay, listen.

We need to finish that stupid love song…

If we want to finish our album, okay?

It's not done yet?

You know what? Why does it have to be a stupid love song?

Why don't you write something you know about, Kenny?

Like, I don't know… Tall girls and long legs…

Okay, enough.

It's not my fault if tall girls hit on me.

You know what? You're right.

It's not you fault you're short.

Get lost! Every band’s…

Biggest breakout song has been a love song.

Sweet child of mine, Angie…

Layla… - Yeah, dude.

Even Purple Harmony's most famous song is a love song.

Aren't all their songs love songs? - Yeah.

Yeah, that's why all their songs are so popular.

See, we have a song about everything else, right?

What if this is our breakout song?

What's the harm in trying?

I'll help you with that, Kenny.

Thanks, okay. Thing is…

You know it's a good idea, dude.

You guys should get a room, make out...

See of you can find something. - Thanks.

Do you have a girlfriend?

No.

What are you looking for?

Nothing.

But my parents, bro… They've a really weird love story.

Nice! Tell me.

All right.

So, when my father married my mother…

My mother got pregnant.

And then my father left for Dubai for work.

My mother went through some intense psychological drama.

She wanted to kill me as a baby!

Apparently, there are 10 million cases of these things that happen every year.

It's pretty normal.

But my mother didn't kill me.

She didn't, bro. - Yeah.

Isn't that what love is?

When you really want to kill something…

But you don't.

Because, you love it.

That's a nice story. - Yeah.

But that's kind of useless… For this song.

Are you ironing your shirt?

What?

I'm heading out.

But that's your special occasion shirt.

And you only wear that for gigs.

We don't have a gig today.

Hey! What special occasion are you going for?

Valentine's Day.

You know what? Mind your own business and finish the damn song.

And if you guys are going to get physical…

Ugh!

Sorry, grandma.

Please don't do it in front of granny.

Oh my God! The panties, the shirt…

'Finish the song, dude!'

Rohan's aggressive defensive behaviour...

Dude, Rohan is in love. He doesn't even know it!

This is perfect.

Last time when he fell in love with…

It tore him apart, dude.

Somehow if we observe him…

If we see what he's going through…

And if you're lucky enough…

And he has his heart broken again…

There will be nothing like it!

Dude, whose panties were those?

I've been talking for the last… About this only…

Let's just go follow him and we'll find out.

Cool. Is grandma coming with us?

I don't think so. Let's go.

What do you see?

It's okay.

What do you see?

What's Rohan doing here?

Hey, Rohan!

What?

We were kicked out of here last week.

Why, bro? It's been like 15 days. Nobody cares man!

Okay, you're right.

You know what?

He's talking to some female.

Bro! - What?

That has to be the panties lady, bro.

No, it's Prakriti.

Oh shit! - What bro?

Prakriti is the panties girl!

Oh no! - What?

She's making him sleep with her because he sabotaged the show.

No! - No?

They want to have sex with each other.

I'm sure it’s…

It's consensual.

It makes no sense. They hate each other.

How could they possibly… - What are they doing?

Jason. - What?

That's what sexual tension is. - What sexual tension?

Okay…

He likes her. He doesn't know it yet.

We just have to make him realise it.

Okay? - Okay.

We have to somehow get them together. - Okay.

All right, ladies and gentlemen, hello!

Hi! I'm over here.

So, today we are gonna be playing some games…

As part of the Valentine's Day celebration…

Presented by SeaZone.

The name of the show is The Valentine's Day Special…

Love train, hosted by me, Joel. That's me guys.

So, today we are gonna play some games…

To break the ice between some of the…

New lovers here.

And also maybe freeze up the loose warm water…

That maybe ... maybe drifted you apart.

So, let's play the games and have a gala time...

Here on the love train. The winner gets…

One day two nights…

Complimentary stay at the Paradise Resorts.

Remember there's no complimentary breakfast included.

Everybody let's get on the love train.

And maybe you didn't see that. One more time.

Let's everybody get on the love train.

Okay, we'll start now.

Jason, dude…

It's almost like someone up there…

Wants us to finish this song. It's too beautiful.

Forget that. There's no complimentary breakfast!

The whole trip is complimentary!

You want breakfast also you want for free?

What about my pancakes, bro?

Can we focus on Rohan and Prakriti?

Okay, come. - Okay.

Hey man. Sorry. - Yeah?

Can I ask you a favour, dude?

The thing is… - Just write their names.

The thing is our friend wants to hook up…

With the manager of the restaurant.

Prakriti ma'am. - Yeah.

But you know how she is, right? - Strict.

Strict person, yeah she is…

Actually, she's not paying me for the MC also.

Yeah, I know that. She's so mean, right?

She hasn't paid us either so I get it.

Okay, the thing is we're putting their names down.

Did you take her permission? - Prakriti…

Yeah, we have. We asked her…

Yesterday.

Okay. - It's all done.

You just have to force her.

Just a little bit, come come.

Force? - No, coerce.

Coerce? - Convince her.

It's Valentine's Day man.

For love, dude.

C'mon, Do it. - Joel.

Is…

Okay?

Okay? - Done.

Awesome. Thanks. Sorry.

Okay.

Hey, Rohan.

What are you guys doing here?

There's a great Valentine's Day event happening here…

In this venue.

So my buddy Jason and I…

Thought of checking it out for inspiration.

What are you doing here, buddy?

Chill. I came to get a beer.

Just a beer, bro.

Just a beer.

Poor guy has been working full day.

A nice cold beer will really refresh him.

You know what else is cold, buddy?

The manager there.

Did you come to see her buddy? - Fine, we're sleeping with each other.

I knew it!

That explains the panties, bro.

Everybody knows it's Prakriti's panties.

That's right, everybody. You know what that sound means.

It means it's time to get on board on the love train.

I'm going to read out the names of the contestants…

For the games today.

First up we have Tejas and Sindhu.

Beautiful. Next up we have Rohan and Prakriti over there.

How about a round of applause there?

Yeah!

Dude, what the hell? This isn't funny.

I didn't do it, I swear.

Next up we have Jason and Kenneth.

Why did you put our names?

For research!

All right, how about a huge round of applause…

And encouragement for our very special participant…

Miss Prakriti who also happens to be…

The manager of the restaurant, standing right there.

Just do it ironically and get over it. Okay?

Let's start off with the game.

Yeah. - Yeah.

The first game is called 'I'm not sari.'

Remember,the point of this game is to see how much…

You can cooperate with your partner and work together.

You just have to shove it. - Yeah.

Where? Here?

Shove it in anywhere. - Okay, shove it in anywhere.

Doesn't it have to go around me first?

Rohan, looking fine, dude.

I'm pretty sure it… - I'm tying the sari. Can you just be the prop?

Cool, all right.

Just go around, yeah.

Just go… all right. Yeah.

And please stop tying your saris now.

I'm done! I'm done!

All right, ladies and gentlemen, clearly the winner of this game is…

None other than the two boys there Jason and Kenneth.

Yes!

Our next game is called 'Draw your partner'.

Just turn this side bro.

Are you picturing me naked?

I've got a much clearer picture than that!

You're good.

Bunch of Leonardo DaVin… DiCa… DaVinci here!

I need a rubber. - Huh?

Rubber.

Should go to the pharmacy beforehand, bro.

You're good. Just two more seconds.

Just finishing touches.

And the game stops now. - I'm done.

I'm done.

Cool. - Perfect!

Show, what you got? - Nice, man.

If anything, it's the best piece of poop I've ever seen...

Let's see your pictures, ladies and gentlemen.

That's a poop!

Okay, that's nasty.

And wow, Jason! That's a beautiful picture.

Give it up for the winner, Jason and Kenneth again!

C'mon, this is the best piece of shit ever!

First prize for the ice cream poop.

Okay. Our last game for the evening is…

‘Who's more likely’.

Which one of you is most likely to insist on snuggling…

On a rainy day?

He said Divya and she said Nishant.

You guys have no idea about each other.

Get out of here!

All right. Our next question goes to these two boys here.

Which one of you is most likely to…

Sneak a kiss…

Kenneth says Jason and Jason says Jason!

That's weird!

That's weird!

Our last question goes to Rohan and the most beloved…

And respected Prakriti ma'am.

Which one of you is most likely to forget an anniversary?

All right Rohan says Miss Prakriti…

and Miss Prakriti says… - What's that?

Butts!

Okay, so one person is a lot more serious...

About this than the other.

All right, well whatever that means.

Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen for participating in our games.

Can I have a chat with you? - Okay.

Cool.

Two nights' stay at Paradise Resorts goes to…

Jason and Kenneth.

Cheer up for them.

Thank you.

Good for you. Call us for the wedding.

Everyone's having a great time.

They say chocolate is an aphrodisiac.

That's enough surprises from you for a year now, Joel.

The bar shuts down in 45 minutes...

People. Enjoy yourselves and Happy Valentine's Day.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Let's go drink beer. - Yeah, what's up?

Most likely to forget an anniversary?

What? I was doing it ironically.

Okay as long as you don't think there's going to be an anniversary.

What?

Why would I think that?

I mean, you know this is not going anywhere, right?

What?

Like we're just hanging out…

Do you think I'm in love with you or something?

Yeah, it's not love. - It's not.

It's just hanging out. - We're just hanging out. Yeah, I know that.

Cool.

It's not love. It's hanging out.

That's it!

We're just hanging out.

''What if I kiss your forehead? It's not love, it's hanging out.''

''What if I hold your hand? It's not love, it's just hanging out.''

''What if I look outside the window to sunshine, do I see your face? No.''

''It's not longing, it's banging.''

''It's not love, just hanging out.''

''It's not love, just hanging out.''

''It's not love, just hanging out.''

''It's not love, just hanging out.''

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