Original subtitles

- HEY.

- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

- TO GET US SOME BREAKFAST BURRITOS.

MAYBE DO A LITTLE SURFING FIRST.

ARE YOU A SURFER, TAMI?

- TARA.

- TOO SOON FOR NICKNAMES?

- MY GOD.

CHARLIE.

CHARLIE, WAKE UP, WE CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS.

- HEY, YOU FELL ASLEEP IN MY BED.

- I JUST CAME IN TO CHECK ON YOU.

- MOM-- - OKAY, FINE.

I CAN'T GET USED TO THIS HOUSE.

IT MAKES WEIRD NOISES AT NIGHT.

- PULL IT TOGETHER. - I WILL, I WILL.

LET'S GO.

- I LOST THE WHOLE FIVE GRAND.

BOTTOM LINE, I NEVER SHOULD HAVE SPLIT TENS.

- I HEAR THAT.

HEAR THAT.

- UH...

I THOUGHT WE SAID 9:00.

- HI, I'M PETE. YOU MUST BE ALEX.

I'M SORRY I'M LATE, I WAS ON ANOTHER JOB.

- WAS IT IN THE OCEAN? YOU SMELL LIKE SALT WATER.

- THANK YOU.

- MORE OF AN ACCUSATION THAN A COMPLIMENT.

- ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA TAKE A MULLIGAN HERE.

HI, I'M PETE.

I AM SORRY I'M LATE. I WAS SURFING.

- THOSE DIMPLES DON'T MAKE YOU ANY LESS LATE.

- COME ON, THEY MAKE ME A LITTLE LESS LATE, NO?

- NO.

SO I GOT YOUR NAME FROM BRAD AND CINDY TATE.

- OH, THE TATES. YEAH, COOL.

I HAD TO HAND THAT JOB OVER TO MY FOREMAN.

I GOT REAL BUSY. - I THOUGHT BRAD FIRED YOU

'CAUSE YOU WERE SLEEPING WITH CINDY.

- YEAH, THAT WAS A FACTOR, TOO.

CAN I BE HONEST?

- DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT.

- THE TATE THING WANDERED INTO A MORAL GRAY AREA,

BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THEIR KITCHEN?

I KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK.

- SO THESE ARE THE PLANS.

UH, I WANT TO REDO EVERYTHING.

FLOORS, CEILINGS, NEW CABINETRY, NEW APPLIANCES,

AND THEN I WAS GONNA ASK YOU ABOUT BLASTING THROUGH THIS WALL

TO CREATE AN OPEN DINING SPACE.

- UH, THIS HOUSE HAS AWESOME BONES.

- YES, I JUST GOT DIVORCED. RECENTLY, RIV--SO--

- THAT'S KIND OF A NON-SEQUITUR.

UH, SO YOUR EX GOT THE OLD HOUSE.

- NO, HE GOT A SMALLER PLACE, IN PRISON.

- UH, HE'S NOT IN FOR ANYTHING VIOLENT

OR JEALOUS IN NATURE, I HOPE.

- INSIDER TRADING, BUT AT LEAST

HE GAVE THE MONEY TO HIS MISTRESS.

- AND YOU LET HIM GET AWAY.

- LISTEN, PETE, IF YOU GET THIS JOB

IT'S 'CAUSE YOU'RE GOOD AND YOU'RE CHEAP.

I'VE GOT A FULL PLATE--I'M NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING ELSE.

- ANYTHING ELSE? - TATE-LIKE.

- I--I MEAN, AM I HOLDING TWO WINE GLASSES,

OR ARE MY PANTS OFF? I MEAN,

IS THERE A BOWL OF MY HOMEMADE, KILLER GUAC IN FRONT OF YOU?

- DOES THAT REALLY WORK? - YES, IT DOES, SO...

- I'M JUST SAYING, THERE'LL BE NO MONKEY BUSINESS.

- OH, NO, NO, NO. I HATE MONKEY BUSINESS.

YEAH, I NEVER USE THAT PHRASE. UM, SO, UH...

I CAN GET YOU THE NUMBERS BY FRIDAY.

- THURSDAY.

- THAT DOESN'T GIVE ME MUCH TIME.

- SURF LESS.

DINING ROOM'S THIS WAY.

- IT'S A CHERRY JOB. SHE WANTS TO REDO THE WHOLE KITCHEN.

- YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S AWESOME.

DID YOU TELL HER THAT YOUR CREW QUIT ON YOU

ABOUT SIX MONTHS AGO?

- THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.

GUYS, AS PART OF MY RECOVERY, I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE

FOR ANY DAMAGE I MAY HAVE CAUSED

WHILE IN THE THROES OF MY GAMBLING ADDICTION.

- YOU SOLD MY VAN ON THE CRAIGSLIST.

- THAT VAN WAS HOLDING YOU BACK, VLAD.

- BUT I GET IT. NO, I GET IT, AND I--

GUYS, I JUST WANT ANOTHER CHANCE YOU BE YOUR CONTRACTOR.

- SO YOU'VE BEEN RUNNING THE CREW.

HOW'S THAT GOING? - GOOD, REAL GOOD.

- OH, YEAH? AND WHO'S THIS GINGER GENTLEMAN?

- GARY.

I WAS JUST INTRODUCED TO YOU.

- HE'S MY NEW CARPENTER'S APPRENTICE.

- OH, AND WHERE IS MY CARPENTER, DAVID?

- OH, I FIRED HIM. - I ALSO SEEM TO BE MISSING

MY PAINTER AND MY TILE GUY.

- I FIRED THEM ALL, THEY WERE ALL BACK-TALKERS.

- BACK TALK? - I COULDN'T TOLERATE IT.

NOPE, NOPE, NOPE.

- MORALE'S NOT GREAT.

- MAYBE IT'D FEEL GOOD

TO JUST BE AN ELECTRICIAN FOR AWHILE, CLEM.

- YOU KNOW SOMETHING, PETE?

IT'S NOT JUST YOUR GAMBLING.

CINDY TATE!

- THINGS I SAW IN THAT POOL HOUSE, THINGS I CAN'T FORGET.

- I THOUGHT THE DOOR WAS LOCKED, VLAD, OKAY?

IT WAS WEIRD FOR ME, TOO.

GUYS, LET'S JUST LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST, OKAY?

WE WERE A GREAT CREW ONCE--

EXCEPT FOR YOU, I'M... NOT FAMILIAR WITH YOUR WORK,

BUT JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE TO MAKE US GREAT AGAIN.

WHAT DO YOU GOT TO LOSE?

YOU GOT ONE CHANCE.

- MMM! LET'S PILE ON THE RIG, BOYS.

JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.

- THOUGHT WE WERE DOING IT.

- WE'LL GET DINNER FIRST. WE'LL PILE ON TOMORROW.

- YES, BOB, OF COURSE I KNOW

WHAT "INADMISSIBLE EVIDENCE" MEANS.

BOB, YOU'RE YELLING.

BOB?

HE HUNG UP.

- SO WHAT DOES THIS PETE LOOK LIKE?

- WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING ABOUT HIM?

I MET WITH SEVERAL OTHER CONTRACTORS.

- HE'S HOT, ISN'T HE?

- A DELIGHTFUL LESBIAN NAMED BIG DEB

DID A WALK-THROUGH THIS MORNING,

AND SHE LEFT HER CHEWING TOBACCO.

- HOW'S THE BOD?

- HOW'S YOUR DAYTIME TEQUILA DRINKING?

- IT'S SATURDAY.

- NO, IT'S--IT'S NOT.

- HEY, I DON'T HEAR PLAYING. RECITAL'S IN A WEEK.

- I'M NOT DOING IT.

- WHAT'S GOING ON?

- I DON'T KNOW.

MS. TERRY AND--

- OKAY, NOW JUST HOLD THAT THOUGHT.

YOU'RE NOT OFF THE HOOK.

THIS IS BOB, AND HE'S A SCREAMER AND HE SWEARS.

I'M GONNA TAKE IT IN THE KITCHEN.

- I HATE PACHELBEL.

- WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR IT AT FIVE WEDDINGS IN ONE SUMMER.

- WHY THE FLEETWOOD MAC? DID SOMETHING BAD HAPPEN?

- LOST MY CHARIOT, SON.

THOSE SONS OF BITCHES AT FARMWIDE

CUT OFF MY CAR INSURANCE.

- FOR NON-PAYMENT?

- SONS OF BITCHES.

IT WAS EITHER PAY THEM OR MY VOICE LESSON TEACHER.

- WELL, YOUR HANDS WERE TIED.

- THEY CAN'T GET ME DOWN. I BEND, NEVER BREAK.

- HOW WAS WORK, DAD?

- IT'S A DEPARTMENT STORE.

DAILY WAKE-UP CALL TO REDEDICATE MYSELF TO MY CRAFT.

REREADING MY UTA HAGEN.

AND LYNN-- LYNN'S COMING OVER LATER.

WE'RE GOING TO DO SOME SENSE MEMORY WORK.

- IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE CALLING IT?

- YES, IT IS. WHAT'S OUR CONTRACEPTION SITUATION?

- UNCOMFORTABLE. YEAH, AWKWARD.

SEPARATE.

- I'M GONNA NEED A RIDE TO SAV-ON.

- THAT'S HER HOUSE, BOYS.

LOOK AT THAT GOLD MINE.

BIG DEB.

- SHE'S PUTTING IN A BID

- ISN'T THAT THE DUDE WHO STOLE

THE DOUGLAS FIR TWO-BY-FOURS OUT OF YOUR TRUCK?

- SHE'S THE DUDE.

- I'M GONNA GET THE NAIL GUN.

- NO NAIL GUN, ALL RIGHT?

STAY FROSTY, CLEM. I GOT THIS.

- SUCK IT, RIGGINS.

- COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT YOUR FRONT YARD

SMELLS LIKE A DODGER'S DUGOUT.

- SHE CAME IN WITH A VERY COMPETITIVE BID.

LOWER THAN YOURS. - REALLY?

- MM-HMM.

- SEE THAT? THAT'S DRY ROT.

I SMELLED IT DURING THE WALK-THROUGH.

DID DEB TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR MAINLINE BLOB RUST?

SHE'S GONNA JACK YOU UP WITH CHANGE ORDERS.

THAT'S HOW CONTRACTORS ROLL. THEY'RE SHADY.

- THEY HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE. THEY GO TO REHAB FOR GAMBLING.

- I'M JUST LOOKING FOR A FRESH START.

ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOING?

I AM A DAMN GOOD BUILDER.

GIVE ME THE JOB AND I PROMISE YOU'LL BE STOKED.

- STOKED? - STOKED.

- MONDAY, 7:00 A.M.

- AWESOME.

- 8:00 WOULD BE BETTER, IF IT-- - NO, NO.

- I--YOU KNOW, I CAN DO 7:00. I'LL DO...

- DAMN IT, SHE'S GOT.

- GET YOUR MONEY UP FRONT, BOYS.

- ALL RIGHT, BOYS, ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK.

- MORNING. - SORRY I'M LATE.

- YEAH, WAY TO SOLIDIFY LOW EXPECTATIONS.

CHARLIE, SAY HI TO PETE.

- DO YOU HAVE A NAIL GUN?

- CLEM'S GOT IT. HE'S MY GUNNER.

- COULD HE ACCIDENTALLY SHOOT THIS PIANO?

- OH, HE'LL ACCIDENTALLY SHOOT A LOT OF THINGS, LADY.

- HE WILL? - I DON'T THINK SO.

- HEY, YOU READY TO DO SOME BODYSURFING?

- HEY.

- UH, HER SUIT AND HER SUN BLOCK ARE IN THE BAG.

OH, DO YOU HAVE YOURS? - YEP. RIGHT HERE.

- I THINK I SEE IT.

- LET'S GO.

BYE.

- BYE, MOM, LOVE YOU. - BYE, LOVE YOU.

- SO BEFORE YOU GO, I WAS LOOKING AT THE PLANS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ADDING A SKYLIGHT?

YOU'RE ALREADY TRYING TO SCREW ME WITH CHANGE ORDERS?

- LANGUAGE, PLEASE. VLAD'S A VIRGIN.

- I HAVE SEX, I JUST DON'T MAKE YOU WATCH IT.

- MORNING, VLAD.

- I JUST THINK IT WOULD BE NICE TO LET IN A LITTLE SO-CAL LIGHT.

I'LL DO IT GRATIS.

- I'M GOING MORE FOR A SAN FRANCISCO FEEL.

- KIND OF A STUCK-UP, SECOND-RATE VIBE?

- GUESS MY HOMETOWN GIANTS DIDN'T WIN THE WORLD SERIES?

YEAH, WITH PITCHING.

IT'S JUST SO NORTHERN CALIFORNIAN.

- WHAT A BAD BOY.

TELL ME YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT HIM.

- I THINK ABOUT GETTING MY BRIEF DONE.

I THINK ABOUT WHY MY DAUGHTER IS--

- HOLD THE PHONE

DID I HOOK UP WITH THAT GUY?

WHAT'D YOU SAY HIS NAME WAS?

- PETE...RIGGINS.

NOT THAT A LAST NAME WOULD MEAN ANYTHING.

SCREWS? SCREWSIE, PLEASE DON'T INTERACT WITH THE CREW.

SCREW...

- HEY.

- HEY.

- HEY.

- HEY...

- SERIOUSLY? NEITHER OF YOU CAN REMEMBER IF YOU'VE HAD SEX?

- DID YOU GO AS A MERMAID FOR HALLOWEEN LAST YEAR?

- NO.

YOU KITE-SURF AT SEAL BEACH?

- NO. DO YOU BARTEND AT KELLY'S?

- NO, BUT I KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, AND THANK YOU.

- I DON'T THINK WE SLEPT TOGETHER.

- NAH. - BRAVO.

OH, YES, THE LACK OF PALPABLE SHAME.

IT'S ALL VERY '60s.

- YOU CAN IGNORE HER--SHE'S A DIAGNOSED SERIAL MONOGAMIST.

- OH, NO, NO, NO. TOTALLY.

I CAN SMELL THE REPRESSION. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

- HEY. I LOVE SEX.

I JUST THINK IT'S MORE MEANINGFUL AND WILD

IF YOU ACTUALLY KNOW THE PERSON'S NAME.

- SUSIE, BY THE WAY. - PETE.

- HEY, GET BACK TO WORK.

- I'M TRYING. YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT

HOW MUCH YOU LOVE WILD SEX.

IT'S A LITTLE DISTRACTING, YOU KNOW?

- SCREWS, YOU GOTTA-- WE SHOULD--

- THERE'S A LOT OF AIRBORNE DUST IN HERE,

AND YOU'RE NOT WEARING A BRA.

OKAY, YOU'VE TAKEN 400 PICTURES OF THE OCEAN.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

- DAD CALLED ME EARLIER.

HE SOUNDED MELANCHOLY.

- REALLY? YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?

- HE SAID HE'S GOING BALD.

- HE CAN'T TAKE HIS PROPECIA IN THERE.

- IT'S SAD.

- IT...IS.

YOU KNOW WHAT? HE'S GONNA BE FINE.

- LET'S SEE. LET'S TAKE ONE OF US.

- OKAY.

- HI, GUYS.

both: WHOO!

- NEW TOOL BELT, HUH?

- LOOK AT ALL THOSE FANCY TOOLS.

AND NOPE, YOU DON'T NEED THIS.

- YOU DON'T NEED THAT. - DON'T NEED THIS.

- DON'T NEED THAT. - DON'T NEED THIS.

- YEAH, YOU DEFINITELY DON'T NEED THAT RIGHT THERE.

- THIS. - AND THAT.

- ARE ALL YOU REALLY NEED.

AND, GARY, WE ALL LOVE BAGELS.

- IS THIS WHAT IT'S GONNA BE LIKE?

- NO, IT'S PROBABLY GONNA GET A LOT WORSE.

- CHARLIE CLIMBED UP ON THE ROOF.

DO YOU GUYS HAVE A LADDER?

- HERE, LET ME GO. IT'S HIGHER THAN IT LOOKS.

- I GOT IT. - MAY WANT TO LOSE THE HEELS.

- I'VE CLIMBED A LADDER BEFORE.

- UH, COULD-- COULD YOU PUT ME DOWN?

- OR THANK YOU.

- IT SEEMS LIKE YOU COULD BE CLIMBING RIGHT NOW.

- G--

- OH, YEAH, THESE BOOTS ARE SUPER-GRIPPY.

ALMOST TOO MUCH.

DID YOU COME UP HERE TO PISS OFF YOUR MOM?

BECAUSE I FULLY SUPPORT THAT.

- I'M TAKING PICTURES OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD--

FOR MY DAD.

- NO PICTURES OF VLAD, OKAY? HE'S NOT ENTIRELY LEGAL.

- OKAY.

- YOU MISS YOUR POPS?

- I'M FINE.

- YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A KID, MY DAD WENT AWAY FOR SIX MONTHS.

- YOUR DAD WENT TO PRISON, TOO?

- GODSPELL. UH, PACIFIC NORTHWEST TOUR.

- I TOTALLY FREAKED OUT MY MOM, COMING UP HERE.

SHE'S GOT ENOUGH ON HER PLATE.

DON'T TELL HER I WAS TAKING PICTURES FOR MY DAD, OKAY?

- I'M DOWN WITH SECRETS.

HARDLY ANYBODY KNOWS ABOUT MY D.U.I.

HOW DID YOU GET UP HERE? HELICOPTER?

- THE TRELLIS.

- WELL, NO THANK YOU, LADY.

HOW ABOUT WE WUSS OUT AND TAKE THE LADDER DOWN?

ALL RIGHT, YOU GO FIRST.

- NO!

- ALL RIGHT, I'LL GO FIRST.

THERE WE GO.

- ARE YOU OKAY? - YEAH.

- WHAT WERE YOU DOING UP THERE? - WELL, SHE'S A CLIMBER.

YOU KNOW? CLEARLY, IT SKIPS A GENERATION.

- GO ON INSIDE. SIMONE'S WAITING FOR YOU.

- OKAY. SORRY, MOM.

THANK YOU FOR GETTING HER.

- YOU KNOW HOW WE SHOULD CELEBRATE?

SKYLIGHT IN THE KITCHEN.

- YOU SAVED MY KID FOR A CHANGE ORDER?

- I JUST THINK YOU COULD USE A LITTLE SUNSHINE IN YOUR LIFE.

- UGH. CHEESY MUCH?

- ONLY AFTER HERO MOMENTS. YOU CAN JUST CALL ME, "911."

- HOW ABOUT "SPACKLE BOY?"

- "PETE ROOFWALKER." THAT ALSO WORKS.

GOD, I WISH I HAD MY SHADES.

- DOUBT REMAINS,

BUT HERE'S TO CAPTAIN PETE ON A GOOD FIRST WEEK.

- TO PETE, A MAN AMONG MEN!

all: TO PETE! - YES, COME ON, NOW.

- AND I AM GOING TO CONTINUE MY CONVERSATION WITH BIG RED.

SHE'S ONLY SHOT ME DOWN ONCE.

- ROUND TWO, THEN.

- I AM BENT, NOT BROKEN. GENTLEMEN.

- HE HAS GOT SO MUCH CONFIDENCE.

- YEAH, MALIBU RUM AND CIALIS.

ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA GET ANOTHER ROUND.

UH, GARY, GIVE ME A 20.

HEY.

- HEY.

- HEY.

- HEY.

I'M CHARLIE'S BABY-SITTER.

- YEAH. WHAT'S UP?

WHAT TIME IS IT?

- HUH?

- OH, I HAVE TO BE AT WORK.

- OH. RELAX--UM--BABY.

IT'S, UH, IT'S SATURDAY.

LET ME BUY YOU A BREAKFAST BURRITO.

- I WORK SATURDAYS, I CAN'T BE LATE.

SHE FIRES PEOPLE.

- ALEX? NO, SHE'S ALL BARK.

- NO, SHE BITES. I'M HER THIRD NANNY THIS YEAR.

- REALLY?

DO YOU THINK SHE'D BE PISSED AT ME?

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I HAD TO RESCHEDULE A DEPOSITION.

- I'M SORRY, I'M-- IT'S JUST--HE'S SO--

I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.

- HE'S SO WHAT?

- YEAH, YOU BETTER RUN.

- HEY!

- DID YOU SLEEP WITH MY NANNY?

- A GENTLEMAN NEVER TELLS.

- WHAT IS THE ONE THING I SAID?

NO MONKEY BUSINESS.

- YEAH, WITH YOU, AND I'VE RESPECTED THAT.

WHAT? LIKE THAT WAS EVEN AN OPTION?

- OH, COME ON, THERE WAS A MOMENT,

AFTER I RESCUED CHARLIE.

- RESCUED? IT'S NOT LIKE A LION HAD HER.

- ALL RIGHT. I GET IT.

I MESSED UP. I USED UP MY MULLIGAN.

- NO, NO, I'VE GOT AN EX-HUSBAND IN JAIL,

50 HOURS A WEEK TO BILL, A TEN-YEAR-OLD TO RAISE.

THERE ARE NO MULLIGANS. YOU'RE FIRED.

- FIRED? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!

- DO I LOOK LIKE I'M KIDDING?

- ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU GOT SOME ISSUES.

- ME? YOU LIVE WITH YOUR DAD,

AND YOU HUMP ANYTHING IN A TINY BIKINI

TO JUSTIFY THE VOID THAT IS YOUR LIFE.

- WOW, YOU HAD THAT LOCKED AND LOADED.

YOU THINK ABOUT ME MUCH? - WHY ARE YOU COCKY?

IS THERE SOME UNIVERSE WHERE 35 AND CONSTANTLY BAKED IS COOL?

- YEAH, VENICE.

OH. - LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,

OKAY? YOUR HUSBAND CHEATED ON YOU,

AND NOW YOU TAKE IT OUT ON ANY GUY

THAT'S JUST TRYING TO HAVE FUN.

YOU'RE BITTER. - I'M--I'M NOT BITTER.

I'M SO NOT BITTER. I'M JUST--I'M EVEN-KEELED!

YOU DON'T KNOW ME. I'M DELIGHTFUL, I'M SUNNY!

- YOU'RE NOT SUNNY, BABE. YOU DON'T EVEN WANT A SKYLIGHT.

- THAT FRIGGIN' METAPHOR IS OFFICIALLY PLAYED.

- AND "BABE?" REALLY. - ALL RIGHT, WHATEVER.

ENJOY YOUR GLOOMY HOUSE. SAN FRANCISCO SUCKS.

- YEAH? WELL, VENICE IS FULL OF OVERAGE SURFERS

WHO CAN'T KEEP IT IN THEIR PANTS!

NICE, BIG TRUCK, BY THE WAY!

WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?

HI, I'M ALEX MEYERS. WE JUST MOVED IN.

HAVE A NICE DAY.

- I DON'T GET IT.

YOU DIDN'T FIRE THE NANNY.

YOU LOVE TO FIRE NANNIES. THEY COME WITH EXPIRATION DATES.

- I NEED HER. CHARLIE LOVES HER.

GOD, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS STICK UP FOR BAD GUYS?

YOU'RE LIKE A MOB WIFE.

- I LOVE A HOT UNDERDOG?

- HE WAS TOTALLY CONCEITED, CONSTANTLY LATE,

AND SMELLED LIKE SALT AND BONG WATER.

- ALEX, DID YOU FIRE THIS GUY BECAUSE YOU WERE JEALOUS

BECAUSE HE SLEPT WITH YOUR NANNY?

OH, THAT IS NOT FAIR TO PETE OR SIMONE.

- NOW YOU'RE DEFENDING SIMONE?

- I DEFEND HOT PEOPLE, REGARDLESS OF GENDER.

- I'M DONE WITH FLAKES.

I HIRED HIM TO FIX MY HOUSE, NOT BANG MY CHILDCARE.

I COULD USE A LITTLE SUPPORT HERE.

- OKAY, JEEZ. CABERNET RAGE.

- AND THE CLIPPERS ARE ON TV, AND THEY'RE ONE OF MY TRIGGERS.

SAD, BUT TRUE.

AND I'M LIKE, "NO, NOT TODAY."

SO I WENT TO THE GYM, AND IT WORKED.

I DIDN'T CALL MY BOOKIE.

DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD.

DO ANYTHING. JUST DON'T GAMBLE.

- ARE YOU STEALING HER WOOD?

- I'M TAKING ACTION, BREAKING PATTERNS,

IT'S ALL A PART OF MY RECOVERY.

- I GOT THIS PIANO RECITAL TOMORROW.

- COOL. - I WASN'T GONNA DO IT,

BUT MOM'S SUPER-STRESSED, SO I THOUGHT I'D THROW HER A BONE.

- "THROW HER A BONE," THAT SOUNDS GOOD.

- MY DAD WAS TAKING LESSONS, AND IT WAS HIS RECITAL TOO.

- THEY'RE PROBABLY NOT GONNA LET HIM OUT FOR THAT.

- I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY PLAYED IN FRONT OF ANYBODY BEFORE,

AND WITH HIM NOT UP THERE WITH ME, I'M KIND OF FREAKING.

WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO?

- ARE YOU SERIOUSLY SEEKING LIFE ADVICE FROM ME?

I'M MID-CRIME.

- OKAY, YEAH, WHATEVER.

- YEAH, WHATEVER.

- THANKS FOR THE MENTORSHIP.

- MY PLEASURE.

HEY!

YOU LIKE SHOPPING?

THEN LET'S GO TO TYMBALL'S.

THEN LET'S GO! LET'S GO!

HURRY! HURRY UP! BIG DEB PLAYS FOR KEEPS, COME ON!

WHOO-HOO-HOO!

- RIGGINS!

- SUCK IT, BIG DEB! SEATBELTS.

ALL RIGHT, WAIT HERE.

- THERE'S MY BOY.

- CAN I ASK YOU A FAVOR? - SON, THE WORLD.

- SEE THAT GIRL?

YOU LET HER SIT IN AND PLAY A SONG?

- WOULDN'T BE FAIR TO MY AUDIENCE.

- COME ON, DAD, SHE'S GOT MASSIVE STAGE FRIGHT.

ONE SONG--JUST HELP HER GET OVER THE HUMP.

- ALL RIGHT, ONE SONG, NO BALLADS.

- OKAY, SIT HERE. PLAY YOUR SONG.

THESE PEOPLE, THEY DON'T CARE.

- HI.

- HI.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

- UM, PACHELBEL'S CANON.

- NOT A CROWD-PLEASER, BUT TAKE YOUR SWING.

- OKAY.

- NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME.

OKAY.

- LOOK AT YOU.

- HEY.

PETE, WHAT THE HELL?

- OH, YOU GOT MY TEXT.

- YOU MEAN YOUR RANSOM NOTE?

"MEET ME AT TYMBALL'S LOBBY IN HALF AN HOUR.

I'VE GOT CHARLIE."

OH-- - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

SHE'S PRACTICING FOR A RECITAL.

SHE HAD STAGE FRIGHT.

THAT'S THE REASON SHE DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT.

MY DAD IS HELPING HER OUT.

- ALL RIGHT, YOU GOT YOUR TASTE.

THE CROWD IS THINNING. TIME FOR SOME FLEETWOOD...

MAC-ATTACK.

- I HAD NO IDEA SHE HAD STAGE FRIGHT.

- SHE DIDN'T WANT TO STRESS YOU OUT.

- SERIOUSLY?

I TRY SO HARD TO STAY ON TOP OF EVERYTHING,

HOW DO YOU KNOW MORE THAN ME?

- WOMEN OPEN UP TO ME, SO...

- OH, SO CHEESY.

- * TIME CAST A SPELL ON YOU

* BUT YOU WON'T FORGET ME

* YEAH

- IS HE ALLOWED TO SING?

- NAH, HE'S ACTUALLY BEEN WARNED.

LOOK, I-- I'D LIKE ANOTHER SHOT.

I NEED THIS JOB. I LET DOWN MY BOYS.

- "BOYS" BETTER NOT BE A EUPHEMISM.

- YOU KNOW WE'D HAVE FUN.

NOT MONKEY BUSINESS FUN, JUST CLEAN, CONTRACTOR/CLIENT FUN.

SPACKLE FIGHTS.

LOOK, I--I MESSED UP.

I'M SORRY.

- DO YOU THINK YOU CAN RESTRAIN YOURSELF?

NOT HUMP EVERYTHING?

- I'M NOT A COLLIE, YOU KNOW.

- OKAY.

ONE MORE SHOT.

BE AT MY HOUSE MONDAY MORNING, 7:00 A.M.

- AWESOME. 8:00 WOULD BE BETTER.

7:00's PERFECT.

- ALEX.

- HEY. - I GOT YOUR MESSAGE.

WHAT HAPPENED? - I'M SORRY.

UM, I WAS FREAKING OUT, BUT EVERYONE'S FINE.

I'M SO SORRY I BUGGED YOU AT THE HOSPITAL.

THIS IS PETE. BEN, PETE.

- OH, UH, THE HANDYMAN. - CONTRACTOR.

WHAT'S UP, MAN?

- HEY, WHAT'S UP?

- THANK YOU. - OH, SHE'S GREAT.

- THANK YOU. HI, MOM.

- YOU'RE AMAZING. - HI, BEN.

- HI.

- WHO'S THE STIFF?

- BOYFRIEND, I GUESS. - HMM.

- WHAT'S OUR, UH, MALIBU RUM SITUATION?

- I'M HOLDING. MEET ME IN MENSWEAR.

- YOUR NEW SKYLIGHT. IT'S NICE, HUH?

- IT'LL HAVE GLASS, WON'T IT?

- WELL, IT'S EXTRA, BUT IF YOU WANT TO SPLURGE.

LOOK AT THAT SO-CAL LIGHT JUST POUR IN.

- DON'T GLOAT, SPACKLE BOY.

- HEY, ALEX, UH...

THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME ANOTHER CHANCE.

- SURE.

- I'M SUPER-STOKED.